Original subtitles

¶¶

¶ Look at that sun Look at that sky

¶ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly

¶ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree

¶ It's about as beautiful as it can be

¶ Whoa

¶ Today is gonna be exceptional

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

¶ Whoa, whoa

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

ZACK: Oh, here's some more parking meters. Do it again.

MILO: It doesn't happen every time.

(METER DINGS) Uh-huh? Right there. Bam.

(METER DINGS) Like clockwork.

Except for this one.

See? It's not always guaranteed.

(BOTH GASPS)

Huh. Man, it's like...

It's like...

It's like...

It's like poetry.

Melissa?

What's the matter? Oh, hi, guys.

I just found out they're going to dismantle Ol' Bessie.

I'm hoping Ol' Bessie isn't a person.

No, she's that old clock in town square.

ZACK: The clock is named Bessie?

They name everything in this town.

This bus stop is named Steve.

Its full name is Steven.

Wow, you seem really upset about Ol' Bessie.

Well, she's kind of like family.

She was built by my great-grandmother, Abigail Chase.

MILO: Your great-grandmother was a clock maker?

Not just a clock maker, but a full-fledged inventor.

She invented the first primitive version of texting.

And how the elephant got in my pajamas, I'll never know.

Even though I never knew her,

I always felt a connection with Great-Grandma Abigail,

and I was so proud every time I walked by that clock.

I can't believe they can just tear it down.

Isn't it a historical landmark?

Yes. But the city sold the land to a developer last year.

That land was called Reginald.

And according to the law, if the clock stops working,

the new owner can tear it down.

Well, the clock stopped ticking yesterday at 5:00,

and if she isn't fixed by tonight, no more Bessie.

We should do something about it.

You guys would help?

Old school. Nice.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

MONOGRAM: Morning, Agent P.

Doofenshmirtz is up to something new,

and I think you know how I feel about things that are new.

He doesn't like it.

I'm wearing new glasses and he's freaking out.

Oh, it's like I don't know who you are!

Anyhoo, now that Doofenshmirtz is no longer evil,

he's decided to use his Inators to help people.

I need you to get out there and stop Doofenshmirtz.

Oh, from, uh, accidentally hurting someone while trying to help them.

How about these glasses?

Not with those cheekbones.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ: ¶ Horse in a bookcase...

¶ Horse in a bookcase...

¶ Horse in a... ¶ (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

SINGERS: ¶ Agent P! ¶

Perry the Platypus? Is that you?

Oh, sorry, Perry the Platypus.

I couldn't hear you knocking over the music sting.

Anyhoo, since, you know,

I'm going to become the great Professor Time some day,

I thought I'd better start practicing now being good so it doesn't, you know,

give me whiplash later.

I'm... I'm going to start off by solving one of the greatest problems facing mankind.

Sidewalk gum!

It's the worst, right? You're walking along and, oh, suddenly,

oh, now you have sticky gum on your shoe!

And you can't get it off, how are you supposed to get it off?

You can't touch it! It's been both inside someone's mouth and on the ground.

That's like the two most disgusting places on Earth!

But no longer. Behold! The De-Gum-Inator!

Now I can rid the city of sticky sidewalk gum forever!

And, by extension, do good!

I'm gonna take this outside.

(TIRES SCREECH)

(CRASHING)

(CHICKEN CLUCKS, CAT YOWLS)

Time to start doing good!

MELISSA: We only have until 5:00 p.m. tonight to fix Ol' Bessie.

Fortunately for us, we've got some help.

You guys remember Clyde?

Hey, Milo! Hey, Zack!

Clyde Rickenbacker? I didn't know you could fix clocks.

Well, we've been here for hours, and it's still not working.

So, apparently, we can't.

CIDD: Milo, Zack, it is so nice to see you.

Aw, he must smell your robot.

(MILO LAUGHING) (ZACK EXCLAIMING)

CIDD: I am so glad to see you.

(THUDDING)

But also I am not glad because they might tear down Ol' Bessie.

I don't know, Melissa,

I don't think we'll be able to fix this clock in time.

I still don't get it.

Who would buy land with a clock tower on it,

only to tear down the clock tower?

MAN: I would.

(SIGHS) Just a minute.

Stupid tiny door ruined my entrance.

Victor Verliezer.

Milo...

I'm sorry. Uh, what was your last name again?

Murphy! Ah, that's right.

(MENACINGLY) Milo Murphy.

Victor, why would you want to destroy Ol' Bessie?

Oh, Clyde. This old clock is standing in the way of progress.

And that progress is called the V-Clock.

It's Wi-Fi capable, accurate to a millisecond, and best of all,

the city will have to pay me for an upgrade every year with new operating systems

or the clock will turn into a giant killer robot.

(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)

When the clock doesn't strike 5:00 tonight, it's "bye-bye Bessie,"

Hello, V-Clock.

I really don't like that guy.

Wow, I've never seen Milo so angry.

I have. Once, some squirrels ran off with his sandwich.

What do squirrels even want with tuna?

They never come across it in the wild. It's just weird!

But Milo's right to be mad. We can't let Victor win.

I agree, but CIDD and I have been trying to fix this old relic for hours.

I'm not sure what else we can do.

We can't keep up.

Don't worry, you guys. I have a lot of experience fixing things.

There you go.

Or maybe more things will break just because you're here.

Well, we're gonna have to take our chances.

But if we're going to fix Ol' Bessie,

we'll have to start at the top.

¶ The passage of time is tricky

¶ When your clock's not ticking

¶ Let's get to work quickly

¶ Got to get the keys clicking somewhere

¶ We're just gods in the machinery

¶ Maybe I'm a dreamer

¶ We don't need a change of scenery

¶ ...today

¶ It's hard to get a reading

¶ When the cycle keeps repeating

¶ The same chronological display

¶ But even a broken clock is right two times a day

¶ Do you know what time it is?

¶ 'Cause I feel it tick, ticking away

¶ Do you know what time it is?

¶ 'Cause I feel it tick, ticking away

¶ Tick, ticking away

¶ Tick, ticking away

¶ Tick, ticking away ¶

MELISSA: Looking good, Milo!

But you're gonna have to move it back an hour and a half.

Hey... Oh, great, I've got gum on my...

Whoa!

What the...

Oh, hi, Milo's friend girl.

Hey Dr. D, what are you doing?

(YELPS) I'm doing good, with my De-Gum-Inator.

Okay.

So, how we doing, Clyde?

Pretty good, but we're still missing those parts I ordered.

They should be here any minute.

Hello. Can I help you?

Oh, yeah, I'm looking for a Clyde Rickenbaker.

I've got some important old parts for him here.

Ah, yes. I'll take that for him.

Oh, great. Well, uh, looks like

you're gonna get your clock fixed just in time.

Wait a second. Don't I know you?

(STUTTERS) Of course you do.

I'm, uh... Your brother-in-law.

David? Is that you?

Yes! Yes, it is. I'm David.

You look great! You're like five inches taller!

I know! Growth spurt at 40. Who knew?

Well, better take these parts. Time waits for no man.

Yeah, I guess.

We'll see you at Christmas.

We're Jewish!

(HORN HONKS)

CLYDE: Since those parts never showed up,

I had to jury-rig this, but it might do the trick.

Give it a try, Melissa.

(METALS CLANG)

Yes, yes, yes! (SPRING TWANGS)

No, no, no! That was the main spring, it kept everything moving.

And it was an antique so it's going to take weeks to replace that.

No, all we need is a machine that will keep everything moving at once.

I've got an idea! You guys, chew this gum.

Well, I do find it comforting to...

MELISSA: Less talk! More chew!

What's this gonna do?

Chew this gum, mix it in with the glue and stick it to every gear,

every wheel, everything that moves in this clock.

Okay, but I don't understand.

MELISSA: No time to explain! Just do it!

Come on CIDD. You're with me.

I guess we better do what she says.

Perry the Platypus? Why are you stopping me?

I was doing good. Huh? (INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

(ALARM SOUNDING) (HORN BLARING)

Oh! Did I do that?

How can I ever become Professor Time if I'm no good at being good?

Wait! There he is.

A robot carrying a girl. Wow, that fortune cookie was right!

Dr. D, we need your help!

Wait, someone needs my help? I feel important.

Okay, let's go.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ: I'm coming to help!

I'm coming to help!

I'm here to help.

Dr. Doof, turn on your machine.

It's go time.

Ooh, I'm part of something!

Wait a minute. What's going on? It's not working.

No, it's working perfectly.

We mixed gum with the glue

so it wouldn't come off.

You can't win. You're almost out of time.

In five...

Four... Three...

Why are we counting? ALL: One!

(CLOCK TOLLING)

(ALL CHEERING)

Thanks, Dr. D.

All right, hooray for me!

I'm not exactly sure how I'm helping people,

but something involving a clock, apparently, but I'm doing good!

We all did good. Grandma Abigail would be so proud!

Ugh! I can't believe you ruined me again!

Could this day get any worse?

(SNAPS)

Welcome to the 28th Annual Substitute Teacher's Conference.

(VICTOR YELLING) Today, we're going to be...

I hope you brought enough gum for everyone.

I did.

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

MILO: And that's why I wear sweater vests!

I don't know who you are anymore.

All right, who's ready for video games and snacks at my house?

Not you.

You forgot the "Forget the Llamas. Save the Alpacas" benefit concert.

You have a gig today. We do?

I should know. I'm your new manager.

You are? Since when?

Since five seconds ago. Were you not listening?

I'm your new manager.

Wow. I guess I wasn't listening.

I don't know about having a manager

when we don't even have a good band name yet.

Well, we are Just Getting Started.

But that name was a mistake.

What about "Zack of All Trades"?

Oh, or "Murphy's Lawyers."

"Melissa and the Who Cares Who Elses."

Band name, TBD.

Mean time, pick up rehearsals right here, right now.

But our instruments are... CHAD: Oh, guys,

I got this text from Amanda...

(CLANGING) But we still need power to...

(GENERATOR STARTING) Amanda texted me

and I just blindly followed her instructions. It's what I do.

I love Slushy Dawg!

We're on a mission to retrieve a piece alien rubbish, not fill your face hole.

Can't we do both?

It's 3:20 and we're supposed to meet an employee who reported it.

A Mr. Johnson.

JEREMY: Welcome to Slushy Dawg. May I take your order, please?

I don't know if you can take my order...

(INSTRUMENTS TUNING)

Head's up!

ALIEN PILOT: During our routine scan of the planet,

we experienced a glitch in our cloaking device.

The source seems to be here. (ALARM BLARING)

ALIEN COMMANDER: I haven't seen a buildup

of negative probability ions like that since...

Follow that human!

Well, this place is no longer a suitable rehearsal space.

Milo, rehearsal at your house. Now.

Are you sure? Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something.

Yes, it's telling you to listen to your band manager! Okay?

(STAMMERS) What were we doing?

Wait, were these wrappers here the whole time?

(SNIFFS) Smells fresh.

Oh, yes! That's it. We were supposed to meet one Jeremy Johnson here at, um,

10 minutes ago?

What have we been doing for those 10 minutes?

Well, let's pull over to the drive-thru and try to find out.

JEREMY: Welcome to Slushy Dawg! May I take your order, please?

I don't know if you can take my order, but you can borrow it!

Dakota? Did you get rid of the thing?

What thing?

It's me, Jeremy. We just met, like, 10 minutes ago.

You know about the weird, glowing junk by the dumpster?

It seemed to be making people act strange.

We already talked about this.

Wait, did I order food before?

Yeah. That's when we met.

Funny, I don't feel like I ate. You never do!

We're coming to you, Jeremy!

Wait! Whatever you do, don't try and pa...

(GAME SOUND EFFECTS PLAYING)

Wait, where are we?

What are we doing?

Well, I hope you're done!

These kids have been waiting for 15 minutes!

There's the van!

How did we end up in there?

We were going to Slushy Dawg about some alien device.

How did we lose 35 minutes?

And where did all these fast food wrappers come from?

I don't remember eating any of this.

Get in. We have to get back to the Slushy Dawg and figure out what's happened.

JEREMY: Welcome to Slushy Dawg! May I take your order, please?

Well, I don't know if you can take...

Dakota? Cavendish?

How do you know our names?

Cavendish! We've met twice today already!

Did we order food?

Did you order food? Last time you were here,

you ordered 79 hot dogs, sat in the drive-thru,

blocking our customers, and drove off, shouting about being young again!

Dakota, pull forward.

Guys, just stop...

(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Cavendish! (GASPS)

Oh, my word, it's happened again! Where the devil are we?

What a show, folks! I don't know who these two lunatics are,

but they are fearless. And without a net!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

JEREMY: Welcome to Slushy Dawg! May I take your order, please?

I don't know if you can take... Dakota? Cavendish?

Do I have walk you guys through this again? I met you guys already!

And if you want food this time, you'd better like burgers or fish sandwiches,

because the last time you were here, you bought every hot dog in the place!

I don't remember ever eating your food. I want a refund.

Look, guys. The weird thing you guys came for, the memory-messing thing,

you have to watch out for it. It's right by this... I can barely hear you.

through this thing, let me pull up.

No, wait!

BOTH: Oh, come on!

There they are, officers, those are the guys who took my scooters without paying!

(BOTH YELL)

Okay, how about "The Those Guys" or "The Give it Ups"?

I still like "Just Getting Started." Has a nice ring to it.

Keep at it, Zack. Plenty of bands don't have names.

Name one.

Obviously if I named them,

they wouldn't be bands with no names anymore,

would they? (CEILING RUMBLING)

Now we're a garage band without a garage.

So, just a band.

Everybody all right?

Yeah. Let me just go get our gear.

What are you doing?

I didn't press anything, sir.

That's the negative probability ions!

(ALARM BLARING) We're too close!

It's affecting our controls!

Brace yourself!

(NEIGHING)

Ah, scary ponies!

(SERENE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(NICKERS)

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

Well, according to this text from Amanda,

I'm driving you guys to the concert.

Well, have fun, kids. I'll just be here with the ponies.

On my roof. Dancing.

Our memory losses start here at Slushy Dawg.

I wish I knew what we did those three last times we were here.

Wait a moment. Yes! That must be it!

That Jeremy fellow's report to the local authorities.

"Alien trash causing cognitive disturbance!" Of course!

That is a lot of syllables. What does it mean?

Remember our training?

To avoid detection, certain alien species use a manic amnesia ray.

This ray erases any memory of the sighting and causes the subject to act erratically

so they won't be believed by the authorities even if they do remember it.

I'm king of the world!

(STUTTERING) I don't know how I got here.

I swear I saw... I saw a UFO.

It's that piece of space trash that's erasing our memories and causing us to act out.

We need to approach it carefully and disable it.

Agreed. Let's grab a bite and then do whatever you just said.

JEREMY: Welcome to Slushy Dawg!

I regret to inform you that all we have at this time are fish sandwiches.

Ew, no, thank you.

If you don't mind, I'm just going to drive right on through.

Dakota, wait! Remember there's a green...

How's this for our new band name, "The Sonic Three"?

Hello? (STAMMERS) Oh, sorry, "The Sonic Four."

But, eh, I have better ones.

A bunch more. How about the "Lizards of Oz"? (GUITAR TUNING)

How about the "Lizards of No Way"?

You're on in five, Just Getting Started!

You know, I like it more when she says it.

We're too close again, ma'am!

(YELLING)

No, get closer. We need more data.

But, ma'am, we're losing propulsion!

(SIRENS WAILING)

Ugh, that taste like fi... Have I been eating fish sandwiches?

Well, we're back at Slushy Dawg! But what are we wearing?

When did we do that?

And I really hope we paid for all that stuff.

Great bollywockers!

How can it be 7:30?

Look! The windshield!

Wow, I am messier than I thought.

No, it's a warning I left myself!

(CAVENDISH READING)

Heh. I'm so clever! Huzzah!

That must be the cheeky culprit, right there!

It's broken. There's a hole in it.

The hole must be the problem. How do we plug the hole?

Same way I do. Feed it!

(GRUNTING)

Dakota! You did it! You stopped the memory wipes!

(CHUCKLING) Oh, we're saved!

We're saved! Saved, saved! Ha-ha!

Saved!

What on earth did we do on that last blackout?

Hey, Cavendish, Dakota! Thanks for the fireworks.

The show wouldn't have been the same without it.

Fireworks?

Hey, Amanda, um, in light of today's intense events,

maybe we should... No way!

If I've learned anything from you, Milo, it's that you never quit!

I say, it's time for us to "Milo Up!"

Let Murphy's Law just try and stop us.

We've committed to helping those llamas...

Alpacas. Whatevs.

And that's what we're going to do!

Yeah, we are! We've already got a name!

And now we've got a new song!

(CLEARS THROAT)

Thank you, everybody.

we are Just Getting Started!

(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)

¶ Would it look better on a marquee

¶ If we were called "The Sonic Three" or "Psychedelic Banshee"

¶ Or "Cybernetic Bumblebee"?

¶ Will we get more repulsive if we were called "Lizards of Oz"

¶ Or the "Semi-crazy... Just the "Murphy's Laws"

¶ What's in a name?

¶ If we're rocking just the same

¶ And we're Just Getting Started...

We're losing power!

Okay, enough intel! (GRUNTS)

Get us away from that kid!

(ALIEN COMMANDER SCREAMING)

(ALARMS BLARING)

Oh... Brace for impact! (ALIEN COMMANDER YELLING)

You're right, Dakota, there's a concert!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Fireworks!

Amanda texted us.

(DAKOTA AND CAVENDISH YELLING)

(ALIENS GROANING)

¶ We're Just Getting Started! ¶

(CROWD CHEERING)

Wow, Amanda. You're pretty handy with that phone.

So, what do you think about your new job?

Well, being a band manager is a lot tougher job than I imagined.

But you're worth it. And we are Just Getting Started.

Power stores returning to normal, ma'am. Your orders?

That human child could be useful.

We'll be back, Milo Murphy.

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Whoa

¶ Whoa

¶ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn

¶ You know I'd rather spin it

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶