All language subtitles for Milo.Murphys.Law.S02E01_English

¶¶

So, let me
get this straight.

There are Pistashion monsters
and they're bad.

You, went back in time
to 1965,

and found out that
one of them had taken over
some TV show.

And when you got back
to the present, those same
plant monsters,

had imprisoned everyone,

in a lard-themed
amusement park

and replaced them
with plants wearing
rubber human masks.

The only way to fix this
is with a time machine.

Ours is broken.

And you're looking
for some guy named
"Professor Time," to help you.

So, in a nutshell,

what you're saying is...

You're not
the pizza delivery guy.

No, we are not
the pizza delivery guy.

All right, well,
I'll let you out then.

(ALL GRUNT)

¶ Look at that sun
Look at that sky

¶ Look at my sweater vest
I look so fly

¶ Look at that mailbox
Look at that tree

¶ It's about as beautiful
as it can be

¶ Whoa

¶ Today is gonna
be exceptional

¶ Never boring
even for a minute

¶ It's my world
and we're all livin' in it

¶ Whoa, whoa

¶ Never boring
even for a minute

¶ It's my world
and we're all livin' in it ¶

¶ Doofenshmirtz
Evil Incorporated ¶

CAVENDISH: Professor Time,
I am beyond pleased
to meet you.

Balthazar Cavendish,
big fan.

You, sir, are my idol.

(STAMMERS) Are you
talking to me?

Yes. You're Professor Time,

you're going
to invent time travel
and change the world.

Really? And on what
exactly are you basing
this assumption?

Ooh, it's not an assumption.
We are from the future.

Fifteen years from now,
you invent time travel.

You are the great
Professor Time.

You know, my name
isn't Professor Time,
it's Doofenshmirtz.

Yeah, we're pretty sure
you change your name.

For branding purposes.

¶ Time chips
Don't share with a friend ¶

Those are mine.

I have branding
in the future?

Well, of course you do.
T-shirts, hats, I'm wearing
your underpants.

Well, not your underpants,
they're Professor Time brand.

They have your
picture on them,
do you want to see?

Uh... No.

This is bad, Melissa.
They've got half the town
in here.

And no sign of Milo.

We gotta figure out
a way to escape.

BUFORD: Yeah, good luck
with that lady.

Well, what are
you guys doing?

Recon, duh!
Whoa!

Would you turn around,
please? We have been studying
the Pistashions' movements,

but I still cannot deduce
the purpose of the giant
MULCH device.

Whatever it is, they've
sure got a lot of guards
around it.

(GRUNTS)
And, so, what's
your deal anyway?

You two a couple
or something?

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
No!

Wait! You are Zack Underwood
of the Lumberzacks!

Hey, somebody
recognized me.

Yeah, in plant jail.
I'll take what I can get.

I have your CD,
I carry it with me always.

Oh yeah,
Chop, Chop, Chop.

I remember that. I even
heard one of the guards
singing it earlier.

MELISSA: One of the guards?
That gives me an idea.

This might be
the perfect diversion.

(MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey, that's Zack Underwood
of the Lumberzacks.

We should get his
autograph now, before...
Well, you know.

Ugh. Stop
foreshadowing, Bob.

¶ I know you're pining

¶ But every cloud
has got a silver lining

¶ The leaves are parting
Now the sun is shining

¶ And you're in my arms
¶ So the planets are aligning

¶ My heart is strong
like a tree

¶ And you belong
Baby you belong with me

¶ Without you
I'm tied to the ground

¶ And if I fall
Do I even make a sound

¶ Chop chop chop
Chop away at my heart

¶ I can feel it falling
and I will never part

¶ I know you
You've been there
from the start

¶ So baby chop chop chop
Chop away at my heart

¶ Na na na na
na na na na na na na ¶

Mr. Murphy? Quickly,
over this way.

I never realized that
Zack was the Zack
of the Lumberzacks.

Yeah, I know, it's a big
shock. Now stand over here,
next to this lard goat.

Now what?
Uh, I'm not exactly sure.

So, what am I doing here?

I was hoping for
a little Murphy's Law.

That's not really
how it works.

(GRUNTS)

(SCREAMING)

Well, I guess,
sometimes it works
like that.

Run!

(STRUGGLING)

Oh, no!

Get out of here, Zack,
go find Milo, run.

We'll come back
for you.

And now my arm
is under a pig.

¶ Professor Time's building
recently renamed
for branding purposes ¶

CAVENDISH: So, basically,
we need you to invent
a time machine.

Well, it just so happens
I've already built
a time machine.

Behold, the Time Travelinator!

Fascinating!
It looks like a taco.

I'm gonna be someone
important in the future.

Me, who would've
thought, right?

Right?

Why you talking
to Milo's dog?

(PANTING)
(STUTTERS)

I'm sorry. Force
of habit, I guess.

You mean, he's not the...
You know, with a little hat,
part of a secret organization?

None of that?
No. He's just a dog.

Yeah, as far as you know.

It's essential
that we get back to 1965,
as quick as possible.

Oh, 1965, that's where
I wanted to go.

I wanted to pick up
some Wyattburp
orange soda there.

It was discontinued
in the '70s for destroying
the environment...

And you still
wanna drink it?

Oh, sure. I mean,
I'm not the environment.

Perry the platypus...

Whoa, what's that?

It's Perry the platypus,
I just said that.

DAKOTA: He's wearing a hat.
And he's a platypus?

And his name is Perry...
It's like I'm not even here.

COMPUTER: Attention!
Top priority message
from OWCA, attention.

Doofenshmirtz, old-timey guy,
other oddly dressed people...

(CHUCKLES) "Old-timey guy"!
I heard him.

Sentient pistachio plants
are taking over...

Yeah, yeah,
we already know...
No, but...

Here's the problem...
No, wait, wait, no, no.

All right, here we go.
So, I've built a time machine,

but it will not work
without an element
I call "time juice."

Which has not been
discovered yet.

It'll probably be
on the periodic table
down here next to

Pizzazium Infinionite...

The time juice is
an element in the future.

It made extremely accurate
clocks possible

and eventually
led to time travel.

So that's why the Pistashions
in the future were rounding up
all the clocks,

so no one can
get the time juice.

Wait a minute.
I have one of the clocks.

Dakota gave it to me.
Yeah, I did.

Look at me thinking ahead,
mention this time juice
and that.

It's in my room
back at the house.

What, it's not
in your backpack?

Who keeps a clock
in their backpack?

(CHUCKLES)
That's just weird.

Don't worry guys,
I'll just go back to my house
and get the clock.

(ALL GASPING)
Now it looks like nachos.

My time machine!

Oh, and the ductwork too,
that was still under warranty.

How peculiar.
Oh, I'm a Murphy,

that's just Murphy's Law.
Right, guys?

ALL: "Murphy's Law"?

Anything that can go wrong
near me, usually will.

That's a law? I've had that
my whole life. (GASPS)

Maybe we're related.

Well, can it be rebuilt?
We need this.

I don't think I can rebuild
the ductwork, I need
a ladder bigger than a...

Oh, you mean the time machine.
Yeah, I can rebuild that.

While you guys fix this,
I'll go home and get
the clock.

(MUTTERING)

He's either saying
he's going with you,

or he regrets the impulsive
mistakes of his youth.
I'm not sure.

(UPTEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)

MILO: Diogee,
we're going home.
(YELPS)

(SHUSHES)

Oh, uh, hi!

BOTH: How has your day
been progressing?

Back! He's loaded.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(YELLS)

Got the clock.

(GROANS) They're
getting away!

(GRUNTS)
(SNARLS)

(MILO CHEERING)

(JETPACK SPUTTERING)
Murphy's Law,
here you go.

MILO: Remind me to wipe
the dog slobber
off that clock.

(GASPS) Quick, mister,
you've gotta get out of here.

There's a bunch
of Pistashions after us.

Oh, I know.
I sent them.

BUFORD: Oh, no,
we're surrounded.

Wait a minute.
Who are you?

Let me set
the stage for you kids.

Imagine a young plant
who wanted nothing more
than to impress his father.

(YELLING)

But he was knocked off
a time limo and set adrift
in the time stream,

until he landed in 1955.

His father had
always told his kids...

Now, if you get separated
what do we do?

ALL: Find an adult,
impersonate them
and take over the world.

KING PISTASHION: So,
naturally my first step

was to infiltrate
Balsawood Studios

as a low-level intern.

And with that disguise, I was
soon able to replace the great
Orton Mahlson himself.

Which would put me in charge
of the Doctor Zone empire.

Uh, what's Dr. Zone?

(SIGHS IN EXASPERATION)
¶ If you're looking for a good
show, watch Dr. Zone ¶

No? Nothing?

(SIGHS)

Apparently, I was better
at stealing identities
than running a TV show.

It was canceled after
two episodes and no one
even remembers it anymore.

And this mask
is so uncomfortable.

(STRAINING)

Pardon me, I've been
wearing this mask
for 50 years.

(YELLS)

Oops, probably should have
taken it off when I
was sleeping. (CHUCKLES)

I do like the chin though.

So, I spent the last
50 years building
mask factories

and replacing Danville
citizens with my own
Pistashion army.

And at 4.30 today
my master plan will...

Oh, where'd they go?

Ugh, too much
exposition.

Yeah, that's probably why
your show was canceled.

After them!
(GROWLING)

OMG! That was totally
embarrassing, sorry.

Hey everybody, we're back.
And I've got the clock.

Ah, cool.
Give me.

This is an historic
moment, Dakota.

Who knew the first
time machine would
also be a taco stand?

Yeah, you know,
you said it looked
like a taco before,

it got me thinking...
It's not too much, is it?

Not as long as you can
take us back in time,
to 1965.

And get Orton his show back.

And defeat the Pistashions
and save the world...

Yeah, no pressure.

I'm gonna go back
to talking to the dog.
(DOORBELL RINGS)

Just a minute.

(GROWLING)
(SHRIEKS)

Sorry, I'm in the shower.
Come back later.

Egads!

Go, go, go, everyone
into the time machine.

Quick! Start it.
Let's get out of here.

What does it look like
I'm doing, making chalupas?

Although this is
the same machine I use
to make chalupas,

so I understand
the confusion.

Go. I'll lead them away.

Hey, over here
nut-jobbers.

"Nut-jobbers"?

Well, it does
kind of describe us,
but it's still rude.

Now, that was cool.

Maybe that's the kind
of hero Dr. Zone should be.

(SNARLING)

(GROWLING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(CHUCKLING)

Mm?

(GROANS)

CAVENDISH: I was
afraid of this.

We only have enough
time juice to get into
the time stream, but not out.

An old bunch
of floating clocks.

DAKOTA:
Yeah, time's screwy in here.

Sometimes you're in the stream
at a point before I put
the clocks in it.

I don't know
how that works.

So what does this mean?

Without juice
from those clocks,
we'll be stuck here forever.

"Forever"? Now I really
regret not putting
a bathroom on this thing.

Plus, all I serve
is Mexican food,
so you do the math.

Oh, no! End of the line.
(GRUNTS)

Is it okay
if I start squealing
in fear again?

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

Oh, hi guys.

(SCREAMING)

You do not know her,
she can be very intimidating.

Candace, what are you
doing here?

I'm playing Ducky Mogo.

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

Yeah, yeah!
I got the chartreuse one.

Why, what are
you guys doing?

Uh, running from
those guys.

(GROWLING)
(SCREAMS)

What are those?
Don't worry, I got a plan.

Here, we offer
our nerd, in sacrifice.

Buford!

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

Looks like it's time
to whack some weeds.

Well, somebody's chatty.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you want to say that?

No, by all means.

It's just that
it's been a long time.

Yes. Yes it has.

(SNARLING)

Hey guys, need a hand?

Oh, I get it,
it's an actual hand.

We got it, Buford.

I never thought I'd be
glad to see one of your
big crazy contraptions.

We have you surrounded,
meat bags.

"Meat bags"?

Well, it does
kind of describe us,
but it's just rude.

PHINEAS: Service...
(SCREAMING)

Now, this is gonna
make a racket.

BUFORD: "Racket,"
I get it. Using an actual...

BALJIT: We get it, Buford.

Who are you guys?

That's Candace, Buford
and Baljit.

I'm Phineas
and this is Ferb.

Well, I'm Melissa
and this is Zack.

And why do you have
a giant tennis racket machine?

PHINEAS: We'll be working
to build another one

and play tennis
from opposite sides
of the city.

Oh, hold on.
(SCREAMS)

But then, hello,
Pistashion monsters.
(CHUCKLES) How weird is that?

Only slightly weirder
than a giant tennis
racket machine.

This could help us
storm the compound.

Half the city
is locked up back there.

PHINEAS: Don't worry,
Ferb and I have been
working on some

pretty cool stuff
back at our hideout.

We'll grab some gear
and mount an offensive.

(ALARM RINGING)
That's weird.

Both the primary
and backup hydraulics
are out.

And that never happens.

(ROBOT POWERING DOWN)
(ALL GROANING)

What are the odds?

Hi guys!
Better than you think.

There he is.
Cool-looking robot thing.

Who are your
new friends?

I'm Phineas
and this is Ferb.

Milo Murphy,
nice to meet you.

This is Candace,
Buford, Baljit.

Oh, hi guys. Sorry
about your machine
breaking down.

I don't think
you had anything
to do with it.

Well, stuff like that
happens around me.
I'm a Murphy.

(RUMBLING)

Murphy's Law?
Bingo.

Warthog, waxwing, weasel,
weaver, weaver finch,

wildebeest, yak,
yellow jacket and zebra.

And those are
all the animals

in the African Savannah
section of the zoo.

Now, on to
the rainforest section.

I think it's the agouti,
the anaconda...
(CAVENDISH GROANS)

Oh, will you please
be quiet!

Well, you won't let me
sing the zoo song,

and I gotta do something
to pass the time...

But that's just it.
We're in the time stream.

Time doesn't pass.

So how come
we got these beards?

Because he made us
wear them.
DAKOTA: Oh, that's right.

I was trying
to lighten the mood,

and nobody wanted
to wear the funny glasses.

I've already got glasses.

I don't know what everyone
is so gripe-y about.

Perry the platypus and I
are having a grand old time

playing Go Fish
with hot-sauce packets.

So, you got any
hot-sauce packets?

(GROWLING)

Yes, yes, I do have
a hot-sauce packet.
There you go.

I'd deal you guys in,
but we've only got
the one hot-sauce packet.

(GROANS) We will be here
for all of eternity,

if we don't get our hands
on some time juice.

DAKOTA: Hang on kid,
I got you.

Hey it's us, from earlier.

(GRUNTING)

It's when I clobbered
that guy and put all
the clocks in the time stream.

(GASPS) We've got to grab
those clocks and get
that time juice!

Just grab one.
That one, that one...

I can't reach! I'm trying.
...or that one!

We're too far away.
And they're getting further.

Wait, I got an idea.
Somebody give me a leg up.

Get up there,
get up there.
I'm going, I'm going.

Be careful.

(GRUNTING)

Be careful. Hurry!

"Careful," or "hurry,"
choose one.

Hurry!

(YELLING)

Got it!

(SCREAMS)
(SPLOTCH)

Oh, man!

There you go.
(TICKING)

And we're here. 1965.

Wait a moment.
Why are we at
the Wyattburp soda factory?

I told you, I wanted
some orange soda.

Don't worry. The TV studio
is right around the corner.

This is a day later
than we were shooting for.

We've lost the element
of surprise.

(STAMMERS) I, you know,
I can't pinpoint a specific
date, I didn't have room.

What do you mean?
Year, month, cup-holder.

I needed
a cup-holder there.

And yet you had
room for false beards?

What kind of
a scientist are you?

All right, anyone who built
a time machine today
raise your hand.

Yeah, I thought so.

You get what you get,
and you don't get upset.

Okay, with any luck
we will get there
right before Evil Orton

takes over the studio.

DAKOTA: Looks like
we're a little late
to the party.

Hey, look,
they're over there now.

Get them!

And now, they see us.

(YELPS)

MELISSA: So, where are we?

PHINEAS: This is one of our
satellite workshops.

Not the one that's
an actual satellite.

We've been working here
since the Pistashions
started taking over.

If we're gonna defeat
those nut-jobbers,

it's gonna start here.

Wow, this is pretty neat.
What's this for?

We find that this set-up
helps us think.

What's this?

This little beaut
is a neutron disrupter.

But I don't think
it'll work on plants.

How are you at building
safety gear?

(SCREAMS)

(CAR HONKING)
(CAT SCREECHING)

(CAR ALARM BLARING)

Uh, well, maybe Milo
isn't the best guy
to have around

since we have to, you know,
save humanity? No offense.

None taken.
That's a good point.

I cannot believe that Milo's
mere presence can affect
the probability of events

around him.

That violates every known
law of physics.

What about Murphy's Law?

Nobody's really studied
Murphy's Law.

Maybe, if we analyze it,
we could use it
to our advantage.

You mean weaponize it?

I think the simpler thing
would be to ditch the kid
who makes bad things happen.

No, Candace. We need
all the soldiers we can get.

But there's gotta be
a work-around for
this Murphy's Law effect.

Well, what do you
usually do when things
go wrong?

We have no frame of reference
for that.

Well, I do. All you need
is a little persistence.

It's like my dad always says,
when life crushes your lemons,

stitch the rinds together
to make a helmet.

Mm. Lemony-fresh.

Don't even worry about it.
Cavendish and Dakota
are probably back in 1965,

easily defeating those
Pistashion monsters
as we speak.

Looks like we lost them.

Where the juice
is Doofenshmirtz?

How long does it take
to get some orange soda?

Well, this is the 1960s,
life had a slower pace.

(SCREAMING)
It's a trap! It's a trap!

Run! Run! Run!

Uh-oh...
Like we're running again.

(GROWLING)

(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS) You know,
sometimes,

it's not even worth
getting out of the garden
each morning.

Way, to bring down
the room, Sean.

Okay, look, everybody.
A lot of gear got smashed
in that Murphy's Law incident.

If we're gonna have
any chance of rescuing
our parents and our friends,

we're gonna have to rebuild.

So, everybody grab a station,
and start working.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(YODELING)

Listen, Milo.
I have nothing against you

and I know Phineas
wants to include everybody.

But don't you think,
it'd be best if we removed
you from this rescue mission?

So that everything that
can go wrong, doesn't?

Well, I guess that is
a good point.

Let's find you a good place
to hide out

while they're trying
to fix things.

Hey, where is she
taking Milo?

That is weird.

Wait a minute.
What do we really
know about her?

She could be a Pistashion spy!

Of course, how did we
not see it? No human being
has a neck that long.

Come on, we've gotta go
save Milo.

Hey, where are those
two going?

Called it!
They're a couple.

(HUMANS SCREAMING)

Argh! Get off me!
Now is not a good time!

Listen, Milo.
What I'm trying
to say is,

you hanging around with us
is not going to help
stop these plant guys.

Ooh, thanks.
I just got my hair done.

And also, it isn't gonna help
us save our parents from that
plant prison in Lard World.

(GROWLING)

(GROANS)

Oh, thanks.
I didn't see that coming.

'Cause we're already up
against impossible odds

without all the chaos
that surrounds you.

(GROWLS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Hey, sometimes Murphy's Law
can be totally helpful.

Okay, maybe not totally.

Look, I was right!

Candace is a Pistashion,

and she's trying to get Milo!

Let go of him, scrub-head.

Yeah, what she said!
Ow!

How come this mask
won't come off?

Because it's my face!

Stop, guys!
She's not a plant.

Really? With that neck?

What's wrong with my neck?

Oops, sorry.
Honest mistake.

I would've never tackled you
if I knew you were human.

You should be ashamed.

Ow!

Look, we shouldn't be
fighting each other.

He's right. We need
to work together.

Even if some of us
mess things up, sometimes.

Sorry.
I was talking about me.

We need this guy around.
Come on!

(CAR HONKS)

(CRASH)

(ALARM BLARING)

MILO: My bad!

CANDACE: We still need him.

So, how far back
should we go, 15 minutes?

No, it's year, month,
cup-holder.

Fine, then.
One month.

But that Pistashion
had already been there
for ten years.

But we don't wanna
go back too far.

We'd... We'd have to get
jobs and apartments.

We can all live together
like a '70s sitcom.

In the '50s.

ANNOUNCER: Four Men and
a Platypus is filmed in front
of a live studio audience.

But I digress.

Hey, who wants orange soda?

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Uh, sorry. This is like
another sitcom.

ANNOUNCER: That Darn Doof.

And that's why we use
a cup-holder.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMS) I'm gonna hit
the emergency escape button.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ:
(SCREAMS) We're in mid-air!

We're going to hit
that island.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL GROANING)

Well, that
was extraordinarily...

(ALL GRUNTING)

All right, we're back
in the present.
But where are we?

This is your fault.

Now, we're stranded here.

Hm, stranded on
a desert island, now,
that's a sitcom.

ANNOUNCER: Doof Island
was filmed in front...

No, no!

You've ruined everything!

You were supposed to be
this genius who was going
to save us.

But no!
"I want orange soda!

"I don't want to put a day
setting on my time machine
because I want a cup-holder!"

Is that supposed to be me?

Yeah, that's you.
Your voice is really annoying.

You are the biggest
disappointment since...

Well, since, him!

Wait. What did I do?

Look, I don't know how
time travel is supposed
to work.

When I hit that escape button,

I was pretty sure we would
just explode.

You're the one who says
I'm some time-travel hero
in the future.

This is on you, buddy!

And let me tell you,
I know when I'm not wanted.

Is it... Is it now?

It's now, right?

Fine!

Okay, now that's environment.

No wonder they banned
this stuff.

Oh, it's you.

Come to mock the great
Professor Time,

Dr. Zone?

Oh, hardly. I know exactly
how you feel, actually.

It's strange knowing
that you were destined
to do something great.

With no idea how to do it...

Oh, look!
A ukulele.

Oh, so you're just
gonna play a... Okay.

¶ They say I'm gonna
have a big hit show

¶ With a legion of super-fans

¶ Or be an icon on the modern
television

¶ Sure, writing was my goal

¶ But I'll be honest,
I was making back-up plans.

¶ 'Cause they say
write what you know

¶ But all I knew
was the zoning commission

¶ And it should be nice
to know

¶ That everything will
work out fine

¶ And I'm gonna be
a national treasure ¶

Apparently.

¶ But now, there's all these
expectations that I'll just

¶ I'll have to realign

¶ And there's a future self
up to which I have to measure

¶ It's just a lot
of pressure ¶

Yeah, yeah. You know,

you think
you've got it bad?

You got nothing on me, buddy.

Listen.

¶ So apparently I'm gonna
be the one who'll finally
figure out time travel

¶ Now, that's a ton
of scientific mysteries

¶ That I'll have to
somehow unravel

¶ They'll call me
Professor Time

¶ There'll be statues of me
on every square

¶ So no matter where I go

¶ Oh look
I'm already there ¶

Is that what I look like
from this angle?

Hmm.

¶ And it should be nice
to know that everything
will work out fine

¶ And I'm gonna be
a national treasure

¶ But now there's all these
expectations that I'll just

¶ Have to realign

¶ And there's this future self
up to which I have
to measure ¶

Oy-vey!

¶ It's just a lot of pressure

¶ Yo, yo and who knew
we'd be essential

¶ That we'd have
so much potential

¶ We could be so influential,
our actions consequential

¶ Without any real credentials
I can tell you confidentially

¶ That you and me might have
the quality to achieve a high
degree of notoriety

¶ Yes, our names on the
marquee of high society

¶ And I know now
we seem like idiots

¶ But in the nitty-gritty
it's so fortunate we're witty

¶ It's gonna make us giddy
and we're someday
sitting pretty

¶ But we should be
working steady

¶ Getting sweaty to get ready
for a future that's so heady

¶ It's a daunting proposition
to be in this position

¶ Where we heard this
premonition of our
future self's condition

¶ So I'll make this one
admission though the beat
is never slowing... ¶

I... I forgot where
I was going with this.

(WHISPERS)
"It's a lot of pressure."

Oh, yeah.

¶ It's just a lot
of pressure ¶

Apparently, the locals
are not music fans.

Where the devil did they
wander off to?

We need to find a way
off this island.

Uh-oh.

Uh... Wrong way!

Go, go, go, go.

Uh, look a caterpillar.

Really, where?

Ooh! Look, that cloud looks
like a horse, you see it?

What the devil are...

What the...

How could there be
another you?

And another and another
and another.

Dozens of you!

I'm getting to the bottom
of this.

Cavendish, wait...
Oh! Fertilize me.

CANDACE: Guys, I was wrong
about Milo.

He's resourceful. We need him.

I saw Murphy's Law
defeat a Pistashion.

We need to figure out
how to use it
to our advantage.

All right, I will
set up some tasks.

(CRASH)

¶ You can analyze probability

¶ Or organize
a form of inquiry

¶ You can hook me up
and scan my alpha waves.

¶ You can ionize me,
hypnotize me,

¶ Oxidize or digitize me

¶ See how this phenomenon
behaves

¶ Everybody look right.
¶ Here I am

¶ Everybody look left
¶ There goes my jam

¶ You know I'm standing
right here and still the cause
is not quite clear

¶ How does it happen

¶ I'd just like to address

¶ Some questions about process

¶ Listen closely
while we go through it

¶ How does it happen

¶ Guess there's something
that we've missed

¶ Some chemical catalyst

¶ Got to be some science
to it

¶ People wanna know,
how do I do it ¶

Well, I certainly hope
all of this destruction
was helpful.

The data shows that
Murphy's Law is much more
of a force of nature

than we thought previously.

Like, gravity,
a universal constant.

And I can back that up.
I did tons of research
and calculations,

trying to understand
Murphy's Law.

Research? Calculation?

Ha-cha-cha!

Sorry, dude.
We're not a couple!

In any case,
if my calculations
are correct.

The force of Murphy's Law
is in direct opposition

to what
I would now like to call,
"the Phineas and Ferb effect."

Say what, now?

You mean, Phineas and Ferb
have an effect on
probabilities like Milo?

Exactly, just like Milo.

Their presence in a location
seems to skew energy fields,

affecting probability.

Milo towards things
going wrong.

And Phineas and Ferb towards
everything working out.

So, I have an idea.
Allow me to explain.

(TYPING)

These are the negative
probability ions

emanating from Milo.

And these are the positive
probability ions

emanating from Phineas
and Ferb.

So, here's what
I find interesting.

Negative and positive
probability ions cannot
occupy the same space.

So, if we surround Milo
with Phineas and Ferb,

we can push the negative ions
in a desired direction.

You mean, we can aim
Murphy's Law?

Exactly.

What did I tell ya?
Weaponizing.

Montage time!

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Presenting
the Murphy's Law suit.

PHINEAS: All right,
here goes nothing.

MILO: Fire away!

(ALL CHEERING)

What the deuce
is going on here?

DAKOTA: Well, I'm no expert,
but from the looks
of it I'd say,

several hundred me's
are making orange soda.

I demand an explanation.

Yeah, well, it's a...
it's a funny story.
You're gonna laugh.

Probably not.
You're gonna laugh.

(STUTTERING) You died
a couple of hundred times.

And each time,
I'd change the time stream
to come back and save you.

And each time that has
created another Dakota.
And since there's...

There's only supposed to be
one of us in any one timeline,

the extras had to
go somewhere, so...

We found this island.

Look, it's Cavendish!

Cavendish, wow!
Is it really him?

(DAKOTAS EXCLAIMING
AND CHATTERING)

Hey, check out my tattoo
of your hat.

Try some orange soda.

You...
You really sacrificed yourself
hundreds of times for me?

Yeah, what are you gonna do?
You're Cavendish.

(GRUNTS) My dear Dakotas,

I want to thank you
for what you all have done.

ALL: What are you gonna do?

Now, ahem, has anyone seen
Professor Time?

Present and accounted for.

(LAUGHS) Come on, guys.
Joke's over. Let him go.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, it's my orange soda.
Where'd you get this?

That's how we run our economy.
We manufacture lace-less shoes
and this.

It's been banned in most
of the free world, but
we export it, what?

Wait, doesn't that destroy
the environment?

Yeah, I'm not the environment.

Great, bring me all you got.

We're gonna need a lot
of cup-holders.

Well, the suit-test was
a success. Let's gear up,
and we can storm the compound.

Time to exterminate
some garden pests.

(GROWLING)

Quick, get to the robot.

Oh, no!

Ah, maybe I shouldn't have
been live-streaming this.

Well, this stinks
like yesterday's shorts.

Wait a second. Why haven't
they replaced us
with plant replicas?

Oh, we don't need to
do that anymore.

You're going to be mulched.

(IN SING-SONG) Bam-bum-bum.

We're on in five, people.

And five, four, three, two...

Hello, humankind.
It's time.

Time for a change.

No longer will we be wearing
silly rubber masks.

Prepare to fall before
my MULCH machine!

Which stands for,
"Machine Used for Literally
Converting Humans..."

To plants.

What about those
last two letters?

Yeah, shouldn't it be
"Mulch-te-pah"?

(SHOUTING)
The "T-P" is silent!

Wait! You don't have to
turn us into plants.

There's gotta be
a way we can coexist.

I mean, haven't you seen
the bumper stickers?

Yeah, I promise,
I'll never eat at
a salad bar ever again.

You never do, anyway.
Yeah, but they didn't
know that till now,

Mr. Blabby McMouthinson.

That is not my name.

Let everybody go!

And we'll, you know figure
something out, together.

Start with him.

Uh, sir, we're gonna need
another minute.

We had to switch over to
the HDMI cables when we
shot that video.

But now, we're gonna need
to hook up a...

Oh, for plant's sake. Okay.

In five minutes,
you're all plants.

We will stop you!

Oh, yeah?
You and what army?

That army!

Whoo-hoo!

So, here's what
I figured out.

I'm not the environment,

but you are!

See?
See, because you're plants,
our orange soda repels you.

The power of Monsanto
repels you!

The power of... (STUTTERS)

It's too long
for a catchphrase.

No, cut! This is all wrong.

Whatcha doin'...

All tied up like this?

Isabella!
Oh, I'm glad
to see you.

Get them!

(ALL SHOUTING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROWLING)

Hey, don't do that.

I don't have the time machine
to go back and un-die you.

And if you get hurt,
I don't have one, either.

Oh, that was touching.

Don't mess with Dr. Zone.

ORTON: Who's Dr. Zone?
I'm not Dr. Zone.

Murphy's friends? What are you
doing here? Where's Milo?

He got separated
in all the confusion.

(GROWLING)

You! You humans, there!
Well, you haven't won.

In fact, your doom is at hand.

A really big hand.

(SNARLING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Yes, crush them. Crush them!

Hm?

Hmm...

(STUTTERING) What have
I become?

What?
So much fighting...

What are you doing?

Hurting people.
(STAMMERS) What is happening?

Have I been chained up

underground for so long,

I've forgotten compassion?

Huh? What are you...

I've gotta make up for this.
Go up from here.

Walk the land. Help people.

Fine, go. Who needs you?
We're gonna win this
without you.

You ingrate! At least I still
have these humans here to...

And they're gone too.

Great. Real great.

Fire the machine!

Yeah, yeah,
three minutes, tops.
There's an adapter we needed.

ISABELLA: Hey, Phineas.
Whatcha doin'...

Without your super-suit?

PHINEAS: Oh, thanks, Isabella.

MILO: Look out!
(GROWLING)

Oh, hey, Perry.

That's my pet platypus.
He doesn't do much.

Thanks, Diogee.

Aren't pets great?

Woof!

Time for some Murphy's Law
and order.

That's what I'm talking about.

Nice.

(GROWLING)

Eat probability, nut-jobbers.

(SCREAMING)

MILO: Whoo-hoo!
(LAUGHS) Yes!

(SCREAMING)

Look out, Cavendish!
Not that way!

Guys!
Just need to jiggle this wire.

Let's go. Showtime!

Blast them!

(SCREAMING)

(LAUGHS) Yes! Yes!
It's working! Next!

(GROWLING)

MILO: There's the MULCH-er.

Here we go... Oh!

What was that?

(ALARM BEEPING)
The power-pack's
been breached.

Quick, turn the head around.

Whoops! That's a little
too much Murphy's Law.

Boy, what do you think, Ferb?

What do we do now?
We don't have an extra
power supply to fix this.

No, we can think of something.
It's like you told us.

When life crushes
your lemons...

That's it!

The acid in a lemon
can act as a battery
and power up the suit.

Okay, but we'll need a lot
more juice than one lemon.

I have a whole bag of 'em.

Better. But we would need
like, over a hundred
thousand...

How about this radioactive
watermelon?

Huh!

Yeah, that works.

Ferb, lock it in.

Hey, could you guys use
a blowtorch and some
peanut butter?

How can we not have met
before today?

You'll never stop me!

(LAUGHING EVILLY)

When life crushes
your lemons...

Use a radioactive watermelon
to recharge your exo-suit.

(GROANING)

You think you've beaten me?

Your family and friends
are now mine!

Plants, forever!

MILO: My parents, Sara!
PHINEAS: Isabella, too.

I can't fire at them.
Please, everyone,

it's us. Please, stop!

(GRUNTS)

Ferb, disconnect the arm.

Incoming.

Time to bail!

Milo, Grab my hand!

Hey, it's the delivery kid.

Hey, look, it's Vanessa's dad.
You remember him.

Milo, look out.

(SCREAMS)

Thanks, Orton.

No! This is a dead end.
Go back down.

PHINEAS: We can't!

We're cut off.
And they're coming.

Looks like we're out of time.

No, I am Professor Time.

And we are not out of time
until I say so.

But...
Not now, Dakota.
He's having a moment.

And the day may come,
that we fall.

But today is not that day.

I believe in you.

This is gonna be great
in my memoirs.

I would read that.

(GASPS) Oh, that's it.

I've got it! All I have to do,
is remember to...

Ah! Hey, look! I remembered.

ORTON: It's you,
from the future.

But... But how did
you know to come...

I read about it
in your memoir.

Well, I'm certainly
writing that down.

(GASPS) Professor Time!

Hey, long time
no see, Cavendish.

(SQUEALS) He knows my name!

Another time machine?

Well, that's impossible.

Come on, it's time
for you and me to
live up to our destiny.

Time for danger!

Time for action!

Time for Dr. Zone!

Oh, in 50 years, you gotta
give this letter to Melissa
and Zack, last week.

It'll make sense later.

What? No, stop!

Yes. I can continue
my father's work here,
in the past,

starting a 50-year plan
to replace every human
with plants and rubber masks.

ORTON: You're the Pistashion
that started all of this.

Time is not on your side!

Yeah, have some orange soda.
On the house!

(GRUNTS) No. Can't be.

It was working. We had won!

How could it all go so wrong?

That's Murphy's Law for ya.

(SCREAMS)

Freedom!

There you go, sir.
You have a wonderful day, now.
Oh, what in the...

Wait a minute.
Why am I still
part plant?

Orton! And Professor Time!

They did it! They must've
made it back to 1955,

and stopped it all
before it started.

Thank you, Dr. Zone.

And, thank you,
Professor Time.

Oh, yeah and thank me, too.

Ah, well, we won
another one, partner.

Although, I'm not sure
Mr. Block is gonna see it
that way.

But... But I'm still
part plant.

Unauthorized time travel.
Changing the space-time
continuum.

Hundreds of rogue Dakotas.

We're going to be
in serious trouble,
aren't we?

Yeah, you guys...
(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Well, I think that went
pretty well.

My building!

(GROANS)

Can I crash on your couch?

Remember Time Ape,
persevere and seize the day.

And I'll see you all,
in the future.

(ALL CHEERING)

MILO: You know,
it's always great

when you get to help
create the show you've
loved all your life.

What do you mean, "always"?
That never happens.

When in the history
of the universe,
other than this time,

has that ever happened?

Nice to meet you guys.

And remember, we're just
on the other side of town.

So, feel free to crossover,
any time.

We will.
See you soon.

PROFESSOR TIME: Hey, ah,
where do you guys keep
the extra toilet paper?

I'm asking for a friend.

¶ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go

¶ Oh, thanks, everybody
That is so motivational

¶ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go

¶ Whoa

¶ Whoa

¶ I'm not sitting here
watching the world turn

¶ You know I'd rather spin it

¶ It's my world
and we're all livin' in it ¶