Original subtitles

MILO: Wow! I love nature

when it's not on fire.

The trees, the skies, chirping birds.

The fresh smell of leaves.

The cruel indifference of larger animals

devouring smaller animals.

Pine cones, the flowers,

and the annoying nibble of small woodland creatures

that have no idea what personal space is.

Ah! Isn't this the perfect spot?

Yeah, and not too far from my folks if we need anything.

You sure they don't want to join us?

They have a slightly different definition of roughing it.

I love camping.

Looking good, Milo.

Hey, Melissa, you need any help setting up your tent?

No, I'm done. But maybe later you can help me dig a moat.

I've been camping with Milo before,

but never this far from a major hospital.

C'mon Zack, we've already been here five minutes

and nothing's gone wrong.

Okay, technically a squirrel stampede isn't wrong.

We are in the wild.

Yeah, the wolverines in my kitchen was wrong.

Exactly.

Wow, look at that. Campfire's ready.

DAKOTA: I still can't believe Mr. Block thinks we fabricated

the whole pistachios taking over the future thing.

Who would make up something like that?

Someone who wants to get off pistachio duty?

Yeah, okay. I see his point.

(BEEPS)

Well, well, well, look who it is.

The future savers.

Oh, and look who just came into my office.

Your two biggest fans,

Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.

Yes, very clever sir.

Now, listen up. It's come to our attention that

a critical strain of wild pistachios

is going to be destroyed by a rare flock of red-beaked crows. Tonight!

Oh, great! Great?

Um, no, I mean, bad.

Bad crows.

You two imbeciles need to stop these birds

and save the pistachios at all costs.

I don't want to hear any more nonsense about sentient nut trees.

Is that clear? BOTH: Yes, sir.

And don't forget your receipt.

And after we saved him

and the entire future, this is the thanks we get.

No, it's not his fault. Once the pistachio plant was destroyed

everything must have returned to normal.

The time stream healed around him.

He'll never know what we did.

So what do we do now?

I don't know. If we succeed in saving pistachios,

we could very well doom the world. Again.

Which means we can't interfere with those birds as ordered.

It would be better if we did absolutely nothing.

Hey, hey, I got an idea. Sounds like a ditch day to me.

Hey, what do you say? Well, I can't actually believe am saying this but...

All right, ditch day it is!

♪ Don't look at me for an itinerary

♪ I've got no agenda, no plans

♪ Let's just keep it all arbitrary

♪ And put it all in your hands

♪ Hey, we could do whatever you want

♪ A park or a museum or a restaurant

♪ You know the one that has the spinach and the cheese croissant

♪ Or we could just chill and be all nonchalant

♪ Check my schedule I got nothing pressing

♪ Nothing on my to-do list That needs addressing

♪ Seems the way that the day's progressing

♪ That we've got nothing to do But messing around

♪ Messing around

♪ Messing around

♪ Just messing around

♪ Just messing around

♪ Just messing around ♪

Oh, must you eat that odiferous limburger cheese sandwich with your mouth open?

How else am I gonna eat it?

If my mouth is closed, it doesn't fit between my teeth.

Think before you talk.

Hey, look at this big guy coming to party with us.

Here you go, buddy.

(CAWING)

Oh, dear. This is just like the old horror movie.

Neptune Needs Women?

Yes. No, not Neptune Needs Women.

What about this reminds you of Neptune Needs Women?

Yeah, you know, they had that scene

with the limburger sandwich and the Neptunian queen

is all like, "Men." It was hilarious. Just the way she said it, "Men."

Hmm, those red beaks.

Oh, I thought so.

Those are red beak crows.

What if these were the birds that were going to destroy that pistachio field?

Uh-oh.

And we've led them off course.

Uh-oh, again.

That would mean those pistachio plants are still alive.

C'mon birdies, we've got some nice pistachios for you.

Why aren't they following us?

Maybe they like limburger more than pistachios.

Here, c'mon birdies, follow the limburger.

Here we go. Wait... Wait... Wait... Not like that...

Hiking, climbing, fishing.

Pulling Milo out of the lake.

It's been a full day.

(YAWNS)

Yeah, I'm gonna sleep like a log.

Or any other sleepy wood-based object.

ZACK: Me too. Goodnight, Melissa.

Goodnight, Milo. Goodnight, Zack.

Goodnight, Melissa.

MILO: Goodnight, Zack.

ZACK: Goodnight, Milo.

MILO: Goodnight, Diogee. (BARKS)

Gotcha! I knew he followed us.

MILO: Ah, yeah, maybe I will have cake.

Milo, what are you doing?

Maybe we should follow the hippopotamus.

Hippopotamus?

No, I'm not a reindeer.

ZACK: Milo? MELISSA: (YAWNS) What's going on, Zack?

Milo is slee... Wait. Do you sleep in curlers?

And you sleep dressed as a mealworm?

Never mind that. Milo is sleepwalking. Oh, we'll just wake him up.

Hey, Milo! No!

You're not supposed to wake a sleepwalker.

I heard that was an old wives' tale.

No, I read it somewhere. Where?

Sleep Malady Digest?

Let's just get him back to the tent.

We can talk about your fake sleep magazines later.

♪ I'm taking a stroll

♪ In the moonlight Take, take, taking a stroll

♪ Just taking a stroll Feeling just all right

♪ When I'm in the moonlight taking a stroll

♪ It's not a crime To pass the time

♪ With cadence and an occasional rhyme

♪ Putting one foot in front of the other

♪ I'm taking a stroll

♪ Under the stars

♪ It's delightful I know it may sound cliche

♪ You can really go far

♪ And that's despite all the really gruesome obstacles in your way

♪ So turn off your mind And let yourself unwind

♪ And follow me 'Cause you know that I'm

♪ Just take, take, take, take, take, take, taking a stroll

(SCREAMING)

♪ I'm taking a stroll

♪ In the moonlight Take take, taking a stroll

♪ Just taking a stroll

♪ Feeling just right When I'm in the moonlight Taking a stroll

♪ It's not a crime to pass the time

♪ With cadence and an occasional rhyme

♪ Putting one foot in front of the other

♪ I'm taking a stroll

♪ Got one foot in front of the other I'm taking a stroll ♪

See, the Neptunians don't have women on their planet

and so they come to Earth and...

Voila! The wild pistachios.

(CAWING)

Well, that's the last of it.

What's happening? I thought they loved pistachios.

They ate like four sandwiches. Maybe they're full.

CAVENDISH: Here you go. You want a pistachio?

Yummy pistachio.

DAKOTA: Yeah, that's one stuffed bird.

Oh, it's no use, Dakota.

We're going to have to destroy every pistachio ourselves.

You had me at "destroy."

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTING)

SAVANNAH: Phew! That was a close one.

If it had taken us one minute longer,

Texas would have ceased to exist.

Wait, stop the car.

BRICK: I smell failure.

♪ I can feel it falling

♪ I can feel it falling

Oh, timber.

♪ And now I... (BRICK CLEARS THROAT)

Cavendish and Dakota, what are you doing here?

(MUMBLING NERVOUSLY)

Limburger sandwich? Quite tasty.

Are you destroying those pistachio trees?

Well...

We saved this one.

And not a moment too soon! Yeah.

These other trees?

They were bad trees. Very bad trees. Bad trees.

Every one was out to get this little tree.

Your mission is to save them.

Well, see. If you weren't here, we would have saved it.

Yeah, it's kinda your fault.

But no hard feelings. We'll let this one go.

You know, cut you guys a break.

(PHONE BEEPING) Hold on a moment.

CAVENDISH: Mr. Block.

I just got a text from Savannah.

You two are destroying pistachio plants?

(MUMBLING NERVOUSLY)

Limburger sandwich?

Due to your deliberate insubordination,

I'm hereby removing the two of you from pistachio duty

and putting you on something even worse.

Cleaning outhouses in the Renaissance.

Don't worry, I'll find some other schlubs to take over this assignment.

MR. BLOCK: Brick, Savannah,

I've got a new assignment for you.

(GROANS)

(GROWLS)

Could this day get any worse?

(GROWLS)

MELISSA: (GRUNTS) We're almost at the camp. ZACK: Yeah.

After tonight, I'm gonna sleep forever.

(YAWNS) Yeah, good idea. I'll go first. Wait for me.

(SCREAMING)

(YAWNS) Oh, man!

Oh, was I sleepwalking?

Oh, I'm glad you guys woke me before I got too far from the tent.

Ow! What did I say?

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ We're all livin' in it

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ Whoa

♪ Whoa

♪ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn

♪ You know I'd rather spin it

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪