All language subtitles for Milo.Murphys.Law.S01E16_English

MARCUS: Thanks again
for inviting us, Martin.

It's good getting to
know people in town.

Glad you came along.
Should be fun.

I hope so.

I'm a little nervous
about heading out
in a sinkable vessel

with both Milo
and Milo's dad.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, son.

Every time he comes home
with a rip in his jeans

or covered in
"Pterodactyl blood,"

he credits it to some
Murphy family curse.

(CHUCKLING) Yeah.

Mr. Underwood, I can
assure you that
Murphy's Law is real.

But I'm sure everything
will work out okay.

Then why do we have
11 life jackets
for the four of us?

Mathematically, it gives
three of us two-and-a-half
second chances.

ZACK: Well, that's
quasi-comforting,
I guess.

Hey, I'll catch up.
I'm gonna get some snacks.

Four bags of
pistachios please.

Hey, it's you again.
The kid from the opera.

Oh, yeah, and at the
Doctor Zone premiere
too, right?

I'm Milo. Milo Murphy.

Vinnie Dakota.
Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.
What a coincidence.

And thanks
for the pistachios.

Yeah, a coincidence...

(EXCLAIMS)

A swordfish...
in fresh water?

This is it!
From headquarters.

(EXCLAIMS)
Where is the cart?

Well, there was
this swordfish...
In freshwater?

I know, right?

Never mind that.
Our new assignment.

Every time I see that kid...

"Wait for the container
ship from Tunisia..."

Ooh, Tunisia.

Sounds exotic.

"And protect
the pistachios."

You know, I was aware
that this was not the most
glamorous of assignments,

but dagnabit!

I didn't study time travel
for 20 cycles to end up as a
blasted nut cart operator.

I joined up
to save the world.

I joined up to prevent
the Mississippi Purchase.

You, you mean the
Louisiana Purchase?

You're welcome.

This will not stand.

Prepare yourself, Dakota.

It's time to
call the future.

Let's see.
What was that number?

Ah, yes.

It was four.

Mmm-hmm.

Battery is dead.

I may know somebody
with an inter-temporal
communicator. Come on.

Whoops!
(SQUAWKING)

See?
Oh, that's not a curse.

That's just
inexperienced casting.

Lemme show you.

Nice and easy.

You see?

Isn't this freshwater?

And so it begins...

DAKOTA: Here we are.

So, you're telling me that
there is an inter-temporal
communicator here?

Yeah.
At this party?

Hey, look,
piggies in a blanket.

There. Over there.

CAVENDISH: Brick and Savannah.
Of course!

Fellow time travelers.
They'll have one.

Ugh, what are they
doing here?

Brick, Savannah, normally
I wouldn't ask this of you

but it seems that
the batteries on my...

Wait a moment.
You get tuxedos?

Yes. And you get...

High school
theater costumes?

Hey, it's all the past.

We decided to go
with the '70s.

Yes, but one of you
is from the 1970s and
one from the 1870s.

Really?
Which one am I?

Look, we're kind of
in a pinch here.

See, there was
this swordfish,

and when we tried to use
the battery it was dead.

The battery,
not the swordfish.

So we're just wondering
if it would be possible
for us to use your...

They're on the move.
Copy that.

Hey! Why don't we
get earpieces?

We're standing right
next to each other.

Yeah, so were they!
Oh, come on.

But be sure to add
a little margarine
to the butter.

That way it won't burn.
Yeah?

(GRUNTS)
Wait! So when
do I add the flour?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(CHUCKLES SMUGLY)

(GROANS)

Well, you got to admit

this is a much cooler
mission than we have.

DAKOTA: Oh, look at that.
It's like a pen key.
(BEEPING)

DAKOTA: Spiffy.

Oh, he's an art lover.

Ooh, secret panel
for hidden safes.

Oh, come on!
They get all the good stuff.

Look, if it's not
too much trouble,

we would like to borrow
your inter-temporal
communicator.

It's extremely important.

(IMITATING)
Oh, extremely important.

Important is
saving the world,

preserving the future,
stopping World War 5.

What happened
to World War 3 and 4?

You're welcome.
Nice.

Say, you think it's
possible that a
guy like me

and a girl like you...

(GROANS)

You know, all this does
is make me like you more.

Got it.
Lars, bring the car around.

CAVENDISH: Your time vehicle
is a limousine?

Of course.
What do you have?

(STAMMERS)
Well, you know.
It's just...

It's just different.

(CHITTERING)

BRICK: Next stop,
Dr. Grueber's lab,
October 1983.

Finally, a bite!

Hey!

(GRUNTS)

Whoa!

(GRUMBLES)

Yeah, okay.
Murphy's Law, real thing.

Maybe we should
try another spot.

Oh, the humanity!
(SCREAMS)

So, how was your
fishing, Dolores?

(MOTOR WHIRS)
Good girl.

Don't worry. We've always
got a backup plan.

MARTIN: There. You see?

ZACK: Whatever can go wrong...

MILO: Will go wrong.

You know, you really
shouldn't mix your
South American

and your African cichlids.

I made that
mistake once.
Cost me $34.

I don't see why
you lot get
all the good stuff.

Where's my limo?
Where's my fish tank?

Where's my
attractive partner?

Hey! I'm sitting
right here.

Look, Cavendish,
you're barely even agents.

You are the lowest of
low-level government
employees,

paired together because
no one else will have you.

You were given the most
inconsequential mission
possible,

to save the pistachio,
a green nut,

only because our boss
liked them when he was a kid,
before they became extinct.

So, if you don't want to
lose your jobs altogether,

you better get back to work
and make darn sure the
pistachio survives until 2085.

Now hold on
just one minute!
(EXCLAIMING)

Please tell me
it didn't just go
into the water system.

It went into
the water system.

Do you have any idea
what you've just done?

(RUMBLING)

(ROARING)

CAVENDISH: Your time vehicle
is a limousine?

Of course.
What do you have?

(STAMMERS)
Well, you know.
It's just...

It's just different.
You know what?

Let's just get
in the car.
SAVANNAH: Oh no, you don't.

You're not getting
in that car again.
Why? What?

You already went back in time
with us once and
screwed everything up.

Don't worry.
We went back and fixed it.

But there's no way
we're letting you go
muck it up again.

You look great
in that dress,
by the way.

You've been working out.

You know I have.

Wait. We're time travel
agents just like you.

Why do we not get...

We don't have time
to explain this again.

Talk to the boss.

(BEEPING)

Cavendish?
What do you want?

Mr. Block, sir!

We were hoping to get
a different assignment.

One more
saving-the-world based

and less nut related.

Well, I'm looking at this can
of mixed nuts and, hmm,
I don't see any pistachios.

You two were given the
most inconsequential
assignment we could find

and you still always
manage to muck that up.

So, until I see some
green nuts in this can,
you're on pistachio duty.

Now, get back to work!

Their limo
smells like peppermint.

MILO: We can use
these scuba tanks
to propel the ship.

One on starboard,
one on port,

so that way we can steer.

Knock on wood.

(WHOOSHING)

You gotta be
kidding me!

See? See?

(ALL SCREAM)

Well, at least
we're moving now.

Now you believe me?

We're heading straight
for that container
ship from Tunisia!

And the steering
wheel's broken.

Hang on, Dad.
I've got an idea.

Look on the bright side.

My entire career has
been one big
inconsequential joke.

Where is the bright side?

The pistachio shipment
is here and unharmed.

Here, Dad. Wrap this
around the steering column.

Come on, guys.

Everybody, lean!
(CREAKING)

Come on, Dad.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Milo, it's working.

Comin' in hot.
Everyone hold on!

Hey, at least it
can't get any worse.

(SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

May I take
your order?
Who's hungry?

Yeah, I could eat.

That's that Milo Murphy
I was telling you about.

Every time our pistachios
get ruined, he's there.

Every time.
No.

And he almost took out
the shipment just then.

That's preposterous.

Whoa!

See?

But that would mean...
(GASPS)

He's trying to stop us.

He's trying to
ruin our mission.

Dakota, what we are
doing here is
not inconsequential.

If it's important enough
to send a counter-agent,
it must be vital.

Hey, now, you're
getting a little...

We are not just
nut-guarding nobodies.

We are secret-spy
somebodies with our
very own counter agent.

Well, I guess
things are looking up.

Just look at him
over there,

plotting our demise.

I sure love cheese fries.

Oh, this is not over,
Milo Murphy.

Not by a long shot.

They're fries with cheese!

♪ It's my world
and we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ We're all livin' in it

♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody
That is so motivational

♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go

♪ Whoa

♪ I'm not sitting here
watching the world turn

♪ You know I'd rather spin it

♪ Go, Milo
Go, Milo, go

♪ It's my world
and we're all livin' in it ♪