Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky

♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly

♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree

♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be

♪ Whoa

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional

♪ Never boring even for a minute

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

♪ Whoa, whoa

♪ Never boring even for a minute

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

I have a secret!

Milo, that's not how secrets work.

You don't just blurt it out.

First, you have to hint that you have a secret,

and then you gotta wait for someone to ask you.

So what's your secret? Like that.

I've been taking a cooking class

at the local community college.

Or at least I was, till the ovens blew up. But I learned a lot!

So, I'm going to cook dinner for you guys.

Milo and open flame?

Now that's a recipe for some running and screaming.

What if we just order out?

They can probably deliver right to the hospital where we'll be later.

Come on, guys. I got this!

Wrong chapeau, chef de cuisine.

Oops. I had the silly thing set for sleuthing.

Here it goes. First thing, open the box.

(BOTH GASPING)

Next, add dried noodles to boiling water.

He's boiling water!

I know!

Wait a second. It looks like he knows what he's doing.

You wear your backpack while you cook?

I wear it everywhere. Everywhere?

Well, except for backpacking.

I have a different backpack for that.

So, Chef Milo, what's your secret ingredient?

It's a secret. I don't want to ruin the surprise.

What if it's not a secret and we can prepare for it instead?

Too late! It's already ready already.

Here you go! Mac and cheese!

Wow, impressive!

Uh-oh. Too much yeast.

Yeast in mac and cheese?

I guess now we know the secret ingre...

(EXPLODES)

Surprise!

It's in my nose.

You guys okay?

Yeah, like this is the first time

we've ever been covered in cheese and stuck to a wall.

(CLOCK TICKING)

Thanks for letting us borrow a change of clothes, Milo.

Is that what I look like?

If you were two people

and one of you was a girl.

You know, this outfit makes me feel happy.

Really? Yeah, there was a dollar in the pocket.

Well, I think we look like a boy band.

No. We don't.

We definitely don't look like a boy band.

Uh, what have you got against boy bands?

Nothing. You know, it's just two words.

Band, boy. Boy, band. Ha-ha.

Who's hungry?

Come on, let's go order some pizza.

Okay.

Luckily, there's a place nearby.

Ye Old Pizza.

How does British pizza sound?

A little standoffish but lovable.

Never had much luck with pizza deliveries at our house.

If it shows up at all, it's usually on fire.

Let's give it a try anyway.

It says it's guaranteed.

(DRUMROLL)

♪ Ye Olde Pizza

♪ When you're tired of bangers and mash ♪

But we've got that too!

Guaranteed delivery in one one-thousandth of a fortnight!

One one-thousandth of a fortnight?

Twenty minutes and change.

MAN: Please wait while we connect you to your helpful pizza squire.

Allo, allo, allo.

Ye Olde Pizza!

Milo? I don't believe it. Is that you?

Veronica? How long have you been a pizza squire?

I haven't seen you in, like, 300 fortnights.

VERONICA: I know, right?

Put the calculator down.

It's been a long time. How are you? How's Diogee?

Veronica who?

I thought we knew all his friends.

I thought we were all his friends.

Should I bring your favorite? Pepperoni and sausage?

Make it a large and you can join us!

And a diet soda.

Hey!

♪ Chop, chop, chop Chop away at my... ♪

(SHRIEKS)

What was that?

Oh. I, uh, you know, chops...

Maybe they have chopped salad? (CHUCKLES)

I don't know, do you want a chopped salad?

I don't want a chopped salad.

Do you want one? But hey, Milo, huh?

Who's this Veronica person? Yeah.

Come on, spill it, Murphy.

Let's just say that with Veronica delivering,

the odds are much better that we'll actually get the pizza.

And I'll let you in on another secret...

This isn't my backpack.

BOTH: What?

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ I want a girl with a suit of armor

♪ In chain mail, she's a real Renaissance charmer

(CHUCKLING)

♪ She's not the kind of girl who is easily rattled,

♪ She knows her way around a broadsword battle.

♪ I want a girl with a suit of armor now ♪

VERONICA: Yeah!

Wow, that's some good 3D. Mmm-hmm.

Come on, Milo. Who's this Veronica person?

You can't just drop a bomb like that and walk away!

MILO: You're the one who said some secrets are cool.

I bet you have some.

(IN ALTERED VOICE) Come on. (TOY SQUEAKING)

Tell me your secrets!

Tell them to me!

Tell them to Mr. Badger!

What are you doing?

(IN NORMAL VOICE) I'm badgering you.

(IN BADGER VOICE) I'm a badger!

(IN NORMAL VOICE) Is it workin'? Actually, it kind of is.

I do have a secret.

Okay. This is not how I really look.

You mean, you're...

That's right, Zack.

(IN A ROBOTIC VOICE) I am a robot.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

I am a robot. I am a robot.

I am a robot. MELISSA: Zack!

MELISSA: Zack! Huh?

Zack, are you okay? Oh, right. I'm fine.

So, Melissa, what's your secret?

This is not how I really look.

(SPEAKING IN A ROBOTIC VOICE) I am a robot.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

I am a robot. I am a robot.

ZACK: Melissa? Melissa!

Huh? What?

What do you mean, this is not how you really look?

My two front teeth are fake.

Caught a pop fly with my face.

(SCREAMS)

(THUDS)

Okay, everyone, we've got an oil spill here.

Highly flammable. Stay back.

Hey, mister, that's not oil.

That's molasses! Really?

Okay then.

Ah!

Why didn't you tell me molasses was flammable?

I'm four.

♪ Chop, chop, chop Chop away at my heart ♪

(BARKING)

Whoa! Timber!

(BARKING) Diogee!

You're a lot bigger than I remember!

Here you go. Let's take you home.

This is the worst assignment yet.

Stopping pistachios from leaking out of a silo.

Yeah, but there are perks. Check it out.

Stop that, you're making it worse!

See?

(MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING)

Wanna give me a hand here? At least a finger?

Fine. Like this?

BOTH: Whoa!

VERONICA: Hold on, Diogee!

Whoa!

Well, Murphy's Law is in full force.

What we need now is some power.

We're gonna have to improvise.

Mints and diet soda.

Take cover, boy.

Hold on to your tail!

Guys, she's getting close. I can feel it. VERONICA: Milo!

I'm coming in hot!

Battle stations, everyone!

Melissa, fire extinguisher.

Zack, trampoline! Ready?

Ready. Ready.

Whoa!

(GRUNTS)

One one-thousandth of a fortnight.

And it's not even on fire.

Whoop. Spoke too soon.

But, none the worse for wear.

Everybody, this is Veronica.

Veronica, these are my other two friends. Hello!

Okay, so how do you guys know each other?

Veronica was my last babysitter.

Last babysitter standing.

BOTH: Oh.

She was the only one smart enough,

and resourceful enough for the job.

She had a backpack that just happened to have

exactly what we needed to fix any disaster.

Murphy's Law is strong, but she was stronger...

Because of that backpack.

And that's her backpack!

That's right. He earned it.

I better go back and get that drink.

I had to use your diet soda

and some mints to improvise an afterburner.

Don't make that trip again on my account.

Oh, no, it's my pleasure.

I was a huge fan of the Lumberzacks!

Gotta go! Chop, chop, chop!

(KISSING)

(WHISTLING)

I'll be back with the soda in a few!

Soooo...

Pizza? I don't get it.

How did she know your name?

And what the heck is a Lumberzack?

(CHUCKLES) I guess we'll never know.

Unless we just look up

"Lumberzacks, Chop Chop Chop" on the Internet.

Oh, no.

Oh, this is gonna be good!

(MUSIC PLAYING) (TREE CRASHING)

♪ I know you're pining

♪ But every cloud has got a silver lining

♪ The leaves have parted now the sun is shining

♪ And you're in my arms

♪ So the planets are aligning

♪ My heart is strong

♪ Like a tree

♪ And you belong

♪ Baby, you belong to me

♪ Without you

♪ I'm tied to the ground

♪ And if I fall

♪ Do I even make a sound?

♪ Chop, chop, chop Chop away at my heart

♪ I can feel it falling ♪ Timber

♪ And now we'll never part

♪ I know you

♪ You've been there from the start

♪ So, baby Chop, chop, chop

♪ Chop away at my heart

(VOCALIZING)

♪ Chop, chop, chop Chop away at my heart ♪

He's so sensitive.

I know, right?

Please turn it off.

I will give you this dollar

I found in your pocket.

Oh, you can keep that.

♪ Chop away at my heart

♪ Chop, chop, chop Chop away at my heart

♪ I can feel it falling ♪ Timber

♪ And now we'll never part

♪ I know you

♪ You've been there from the start

♪ So, baby Chop, chop, chop

♪ Chop away at my heart ♪

You were in a lumberjack-themed boy band.

We were regionally famous.

The lumberjack thing was not my idea.

My mom had a bunch of flannel and... (SIGHS)

But you were in a band!

It's really cool, Zack.

Hey! We should start a band!

I can play the bass.

That's cool.

And I've got an accordion!

Potentially cool, in a hipster kind of way.

(DIOGEE BARKING)

And now we have to order another pizza. (BARKING)

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪