Original subtitles

♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky

♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly

♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree

♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be

♪ Whoa

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional

♪ Never boring even for a minute

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

♪ Whoa, whoa

♪ Never boring even for a minute

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

Yeah, it's a truck load of ice cream.

What's the worst that could happen?

Yeah, cake's all loaded up, we'll be there.

What's the worst that could happen?

Yeah. We're loading the dynamite onto the plane now.

What's the worst that could happen?

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS) No problem.

I've got a dry change of clothes in my locker.

(GRUNTS)

See you in a bit.

So, tomorrow is Milo's birthday.

Is he having a party? Probably not.

The last time he did, it did not end well.

(HORSE NEIGHING)

FIREMAN: Hold it there! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

After that, they only invited immediate family and me.

Well, that's sad.

Doesn't he miss having a big birthday party?

(CELL PHONE RINGS) Hi, Mrs. Murphy.

Hi, honey. Do you think we should invite Zack tomorrow?

And if so, does he have proper coverage?

He's right here. Hi Milo's mom.

I overheard, and I'm fully insured.

Um, just a thought, but is it okay if we invite some kids from school?

It could be a surprise.

Hmm. Let's check with Martin. He's still at work.

Hi, dear.

Melissa and Zack were thinking of a surprise party

for Milo tomorrow.

How is our liability coverage?

Oh, better idea. Not at our home.

We could do it at the Play Park.

Yeah, the go-kart track!

It'll be perfect.

They already have all the party supplies.

Fire extinguishers, helmets, first-aid kits...

Plus, they're fully insured.

So, we can invite people?

BRIGETTE: Sure. Great! Surprise party.

We'll have to keep him busy all afternoon

so he doesn't suspect.

We'll handle that. See you tomorrow.

That's weird, nobody pressed the button.

(GRUNTS)

Oh! Hey, Milo.

Hey, guys! Did you change?

Yeah, this one's all dry.

I have, like, 30 of these.

Surprise party for Milo.

Surprise party for Milo.

Surprise party for Milo.

Surprise party for Milo.

Surprise party for Milo.

Won't it be dangerous?

You're 100 feet underwater right now swimming with eels.

What's your point?

MELISSA: So, Mort, you coming to Milo's party?

As long as your dad's there.

He's a paramedic, right? Right.

ZACK: Surprise party for Milo!

I don't know. My risk tolerance only goes so high.

Whoa! We'll all be wearing helmets.

It'll be fun. Okay, we're in.

(SCREAMS) I like parties.

The border in this photo is a millimeter thicker

on the left than on the right.

You have a split infinitive in the caption.

I don't know, Melissa. Things get sort of messy around Milo.

You know how I like order.

I understand, Amanda. I'm trying to figure out the streamer situation,

but I guess it doesn't matter

if there's really a cohesive color scheme,

and the balloons I'm ordering are all different sizes and shapes,

but I can't imagine that it's gonna be a problem... (GRUNTING)

All right, I'll organize it.

"Cohesive color scheme" doesn't matter.

Don't think I don't know what you just did.

Yo, Milo. What up?

Hey, Melissa!

Just installed the new asteroid early warning system.

Oh! What's with the arm? Sprained it.

Problem is, my dad has an important package to be picked up at the mall.

I can't do it with this arm.

I know it's your birthday and all,

but any chance you can pick it up and drop it off at this address?

Sure! I'd be happy to help.

Think of all the times you helped me

when I had a sprained arm,

or a leg, or a spleen, or a tongue,

or a finger... Twice.

Or a clavicle or a ribcage,

or a metatarsal... Thanks, Milo.

No problem.

Nice acting job.

I had to bust out the doe eyes.

Use only in case of emergency.

What if he shows up too early for the party?

I'm way ahead of you. Remember Elliot, the crossing guard?

Be sure to watch your step,

and I mean that two ways.

I mean, watch your step and watch your step.

(CELL PHONE RINGS) Elliot here.

Is this Elliot who monitors local safety violations?

Well, "safety first" is certainly one of my six safety-related mottos.

I'd like to report a violation.

I just saw Milo Murphy's bike, and the back wheel is a definite safety hazard.

It might fly off any second.

You had me at "Milo Murphy's bike."

You're on my radar, Milo Murphy.

(BEEPING)

No wait, no! That's a flock of birds. Wait, wait.

There. (BEEPING)

Now you're on my radar, Milo Murphy.

Stop, Milo!

Elliot, you might wanna duck.

Huh? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

No, I mean, you might want this duck. (QUACKS)

I found him wandering in traffic earlier.

I figured, you know, with you being the crossing guard...

Safety czar. Safety czar,

you might be able to get him somewhere safe.

Well, there is a little pond right over there.

Don't move. Do not go anywhere.

(QUACKING FURIOUSLY) (SHUDDERING)

(SCREAMS)

(QUACKING CONTINUES) (WHIMPERING)

No! (SHUDDERING)

I have reason to believe your vehicle may be unsafe.

I'm going to have to inspect it.

Okay. But you might wanna duck first.

Don't be ridiculous.

You couldn't possibly have another duck back...

No, I meant because of the tire.

Just for that, Murphy,

you're getting the full inspection.

Well, I did my own inspection this morning,

but I guess you can never be too safe.

Oh, yes, you can...

not be too safe.

Do I have to remove my shoes?

This is perfect. The track makes everyone

wear helmets and fireproof jumpsuits.

Oh, great! For once, we won't look out of place.

Ah! Thanks for helping us set up, guys.

Time for our checklist.

Fire-retardant netting, check.

Radiation screens, check.

Glow in the dark T-shirts in case of power outage, check.

Let's get to work.

All right, Mr. Murphy, you passed. Barely.

Cool. See ya! Straighten that helmet!

I've got my super safety senses

trained on you from now on.

And I mean that two ways!

Actually, it's just one.

(QUACKING) (SHRIEKS)

Your party planner has arrived with a bubble machine.

Chaos is over, order begins.

You, cards on every table.

Color coded by the age, gender and cake preference.

You, with the funny hair,

these banners should be all five feet from the ground.

You, nail biter, make sure all the utensils are parallel to each other.

Step to it, people.

And we brought mattresses to hide under

in case of falling debris.

Plus, we can wrap ourselves in them for duck attacks.

(RINGS BICYCLE BELL)

Wow, that was convenient.

All malls should have drive-through windows.

Hmm. Kind of a light day.

Okay, everyone, clear the perimeter.

And Murphy's Law counter-measures engaged.

(CONTROLLER BEEPS)

(ALARM BLARING)

He's a block away, T-minus 20 seconds.

Roll in the decoy.

I'm planning on staying in this bush the whole party.

Amanda scares me.

Industrial Industries.

"Serving the industrial needs of industry

"for over 50 years."

This looks like the place.

ALL: Happy birthday! (CHEERING)

Wow, you guys! A real birthday party!

Got you! You used the doe eyes.

And they've got go-karts.

BOY: They have karts? Let's go.

This is great, guys. Let's go!

♪ No time for trivial things

♪ Gotta get up and get out into the world

♪ Find a spot in the middle of kings, gonna go into the city in a whirl

♪ I gotta go (TIRES SCREECHING)

♪ Oh, I'm Mr. Go

♪ They call me Mr. Go

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GRUNTING)

♪ Oh, but you know I've gotta go

♪ Gotta get gone, get gone, gone

(ALL SCREAMING)

♪ Go ♪

Did you see that? That was awesome!

Uh-oh! I think that was Amanda's bubble machine.

And we have all of our limbs.

Well, except for one-armed Willy.

It's a nickname. I have both my arms.

I am missing one leg, though.

ALL: (CHANTING) Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!

Milo and candles, can't be too careful.

I'm afraid we have a problem, dear.

Diogee got into the cake and ice cream.

Sorry, Milo, the cake got ruined.

Though cake and ice cream would've been nice,

I already got my wish.

I had a birthday party and nothing went horribly wrong.

Oh, balloons!

(BUBBLING)

DRIVER: Huh?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(DRIVER YELLS) (TIRES SCREECHING)

(DRIVER GRUNTS)

(EXPLOSION)

This is the best birthday ever.

Ice cream and cake.

Correction, this is better than the best birthday ever.

(ALL CHEERING) (DUCKS QUACKING)

Quick, everyone wrap yourselves in the mattresses.