Original subtitles

Wow, my backpack sure is heavy today!

What do you got in there?

(SCOFFS) Osmium?

Y'know, the densest element?

Periodic table. Boom!

Actually, it's a doctor's note.

The school lets me turn them in in bulk at the end of the month,

that way the doctor only has to sign the signature page,

instead of all the individual excuses.

Melissa keeps a record of all my adventures.

So it makes it easier to catalog.

You keep a record?

Yeah, on my phone.

The kangaroos, the tangerine fight at Mardi Gras,

the asteroid...

The llama incident...

Wait, so you've been taking pictures this... Holy cow!

Yep, Milo gets around.

How long is your selfie-stick?

Anyway, I gotta turn these bad boys in today,

or else I have a month of unexcused absences and...

Stop! Milo.

Hi, Elliot!

How do you stop people who aren't named Milo?

I don't turn the sign around.

ALL: Oh!

Besides, there's only one person in this town I need to stop.

And his middle name is danger.

Is that true? (SCOFFS)

No. It's pronounced, (IN FRENCH ACCENT) "Danger."

It's my grandmother's maiden name...

Enough! You have to do as I say!

And, as the duly appointed Public Safety Czar, it is my job...

Um, your badge says, "Volunteer Crossing Guard."

And this one says, "Ask me about my Strawberry Waffle Supreme."

They're quite tasty and they're half price this week!

Well, as delicious as that sounds, Elliot,

we have to go to school.

I have my eye on you, Murphy.

And I never rest.

In fact, I sleep with this stop sign.

If you never rest, how do you sleep?

Very restlessly!

ALL: Oh! (HORN BLARING)

(SCREAMING)

Ahhh!

There's a water bug on the back of this!

Without that signature page, you'll have a month of unexcused absences!

Holy cow. I'm gonna have to repeat the seventh grade!

Don't worry, Milo!

We'll help you find that note!

But how? This is ridiculous, I mean that note could be...

Oh, there it is. I'll get it.

Murphy's Law. Boom.

Are you gonna be saying that a lot?

I'm thinking about it.

After that note!

I'm watching you, Milo!

So, strawberry waffles?

(SIGHS) They're quite tasty and half price this week...

MILO: Hey, biker gang! Come back!

MELISSA: I don't think you'd call them a gang.

MILO: What's a group of biker's then, a gaggle?

ZACK: I think it's a pod.

MELISSA: No, that's whales.

Oh, there it is! I got it! I got it! What the...

What was that?

It looks like some kind of spy drone.

What the devil, is that a doctor's note?

Lieutenant, did you take a short cut through the Murphy Sector?

I'm sorry, sir.

I just wanted to see if my brother-in-law was using my lawn mower again.

Well? Was he?

Yeah, I got a shot of it.

Oh, that makes me so mad!

MILO: Oh, great, I'm covered in garbage again!

Milo, wouldn't it be easier just to get your doctor to sign a new one?

It's Tuesday. He's playing golf somewhere.

We'd never find him!

Excuse me, you're not a doctor, are you?

No.

One, two, three, four, five...

It's on the seventh floor.

Come on!

(ALL PANTING)

Oh, no, there's paper everywhere!

I guess they haven't gone digital yet.

My note could be anywhere.

We'll find it! Come on, let's split up!

(GRUNTS)

Excuse me, ma'am?

But would you mind lifting up your coffee cup, please?

Thank you.

Oh, my gosh, this coffee stain is a perfect likeness

of Frank Eugene Austin, inventor of the ant farm.

It's a miracle!

I bet it has healing powers.

WOMAN: Oh, I want to see it!

(CLAMORING)

That's my doctor's note.

(FAN WHIRRING)

Seriously?

What? It was getting stuffy in here.

I don't believe it.

It's a ticker tape parade.

You sure you can't get your doctor to sign a new note?

I told you. There's no way to find him.

Are you a doctor?

No.

That's it, it's over.

No, it's not over!

When we signed up to be Milo's friend,

we knew it wouldn't be easy.

I don't remember signing anything.

So are we going to find that note?

That's a good question.

You're supposed to say, "Yes," Milo.

Well then. Yes!

That's the spirit!

MAN: You doin' all right up there, sir?

Aw, I'm doing great!

You know what? I'd love a hamburger.

They don't have hamburgers in space.

The parade must be for that astronaut.

Oh, it's not for the astronaut.

This parade is celebrating the 150th anniversary of ticker tape parades.

Then what's the astronaut for?

They're just giving him a ride somewhere.

Very slowly, because he likes to sit up there.

(GASPS) The astronaut's back!

Yes, I know he's back! We all just saw him.

No, I mean the... (DIOGEE BARKING)

(SNIFFS AND BARKS)

Excuse me for a second, Zack.

What is it, boy? (BARKS)

Hey, everybody!

Diogee found the note.

It's on the astronaut's back!

Eh. Fine.

Hey! Mr. Astronaut! Hey!

Hey! Can you hear me? Hey! Can you hear me?

Hey! Hey!

Can you hear me? Hey! Can you hear me?

Larry! Open the door! (POP MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm running out of air out here!

I never should have given him those headphones!

COLONEL NIBLET: Uh-oh. Wilson is losing it.

We can't have him freaking out in front of all those people!

Use the Disintegration Ray!

(POWERING UP)

Uh, sir? We could just drive him out of the parade.

He'll be fine once he gets his hamburger.

You're right, Lieutenant.

Ugh! And to think of all the parade astronauts

that I've unnecessarily disintegrated.

Stand down, soldier.

Aw!

Don't worry, sir.

We'll get you that hamburger soon.

Awesome. 'Cause they don't have hamburgers in space.

There!

I got it, I got it, I got it!

Milo! Look out!

Oh, well.

Have fun in high school, guys.

No. You know the middle school code. No one gets left behind.

Boom!

That's right. I'm going after it.

Wow, that's going a lot slower than I thought.

After that slow-moving street sweeper!

Okay, could be worse.

How? How could this be worse?

Eh, you could accidentally get your head caught

in a helicopter door that flies you out of the ocean

where it drops you straight into a pod of ravenous orca

that rip you apart leaving nothing but your bones

for the hungry crabs in the inky depths at the bottom of the ocean.

Wow. I mean...

Yeah, I'm... I'm not sure how to respond to that.

Aw, come on, ya babies.

♪ I know you've heard it all before

♪ Like when I told ya that The dog ate my homework

♪ Or when I left it in my other pants

♪ And then they went in the wash

♪ Aw yeah

♪ And I know this story

♪ Isn't easy to accept

♪ But the power went out

♪ And so I over-slept

♪ I had a million good excuses

♪ Now they're gone

♪ We'll have to cope with the loss

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah!

♪ I've got no ♪ No explanation

♪ I've got no ♪ No validation

♪ I've got no justification I'm just useless, baby

♪ I've got no ♪ No mitigation

♪ I've got no ♪ No confirmation

♪ No documentation, No excuses, baby, today ♪

Milo, I see it!

That's great!

My foot is stuck!

And I'm about to be shredded and recycled.

Oh, no. That's not great.

The being shredded part, not the recycling part.

Because recycling is an important way to... MELISSA: Milo!

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry! On my way!

Here I come, Melissa!

Don't worry I'm...

Ahhh!

I'll get there. Don't worry!

I'm worrying.

You know, I bet that whole thing with the helicopter

and the orcas is looking pretty good right now.

Okay, that was kinda awesome.

Doctor's note. Boom.

Melissa, you've got the note!

"Please excuse

"Lola Sundergard"?

This isn't my note!

Who is Lola Sundergard?

Oh, great! You found my doctor's note!

Thanks!

Bam!

Well, I... I guess we're gonna be going.

Yeah, us too, uh...

Bye! Bye!

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

(BARKS) (OINKS)

Diogee! Where did you get this?

Hey! It's your doctor's note!

Life has a strange way of working out.

Good boy, Diogee.

Well, we have plenty of time to turn in these doctor's...

Stop!

Hang on a second, this was... This was just working.

We're just trying to get to school.

Why can't you leave us alone?

Because Milo is a danger to this town,

and I'm going to protect it from him.

I'm like the wind.

I'm everywhere and nowhere.

You're never going to see me...

Okay, wow.

That was impressive.

Yeah, I don't know how you did that, Elliot,

but we're going to go to school now.

So, see you tomorrow. Okay?

Sorry, sir. I... I thought...

Ugh. Please tell me we have a re-integration ray?

Yes, sir. I just flip this switch, sir.

Wait a minute, what just happened?

Last thing I remembered, I was in a parade.

Listen, I have a confession to make.

Yeah, what?

I am a doctor.

You... Why didn't you just tell me the truth?

II wanted you to like me for who I am.

Well, it totally worked!

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ We're all livin' in it

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ Whoa

♪ Whoa

♪ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn

♪ You know I'd rather spin it

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪