Original subtitles

MILO: So I opened the door to the arboretum, and there they were!

And I have no idea where the orangutan came from.

Yeah, I mean, how far is the nearest zoo?

And why was he so set on getting my pistachios?

It's the mysteries that make life worth living.

At least that's what it says in my expensive book of mysteries.

All right, class. Today we are starting on a new physics project.

This will test everything you've learned about gravity, inertia

and weight distribution.

All things I utilized in making this beautiful desk.

Solid oak.

Took me the better part of 21 weeks.

Weeks of solitude, just me, the wood.

Mmm.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(STAMMERING) If you work hard,

someday you too may own a special desk.

Not this one, though. This one's mine.

So, over the weekend, you will be building a container,

inside of which you will put an egg.

Your grade will be based on only one criteria.

When dropped from the roof of the school, will the egg break?

An unbroken egg guarantees the team an A.

All the others will be judged on how well they have applied the concepts

we've been talking about in class.

Now, you will all be breaking into teams of three.

So, I guess you three will be a team then?

Cowards.

Any limit on the number of eggs we break while we're building it?

No. Okay then.

You sure you don't wanna join our team, Melissa?

I named it "Team Melissa."

Not after you. Different Melissa.

No, I'm good.

Really? You're gonna jeopardize those straight A's?

You know, eggs can be rather fragile.

Bring it on. I eat eggs for breakfast!

Yeah, so do all of us.

(DOORBELL RINGING) Milo?

MILO: Coming!

I got eight dozen eggs. That should last us...

Like I said, I got four dozen eggs.

MELISSA: Amateurs!

Wow! That's a lot of eggs.

I've got a grade point average to protect.

You think that's maybe a little bit overkill? (CREAKING)

No, I do not think it is overkill.

Touche.

So, shall we get crackin'?

That's eggs-actly... No!

No egg puns.

Whoa!

♪ You best be careful how you handle me

♪ I'm not as sturdy as you think

♪ You're too in touch with your dream plan, you see

♪ I don't wanna be your weakest link

♪ Hey, don't break me ♪ Hey!

♪ Don't wanna crack in my precious shell

♪ Keep your wild abandon to yourself

♪ Hey, don't break me ♪ Hey!

♪ Don't wanna be your lightning rod

♪ Like the view just fine here from the shelf

♪ So, baby, please don't break me ♪ Hey!

♪ Hey

♪ Please don't break me ♪ Hey!

♪ Ha! ♪ Hey!

♪ Please don't break me ♪ Hey!

♪ Mmm ♪

Did you just put an egg in your pocket? Yeah.

Yeah, that's not gonna end well.

Aah!

(BIRD SQUAWKS)

Okay, guys, we are going to crack this thing.

And by that, I mean we are not going to crack this thing.

We have to build something that can withstand a two-story drop,

a wood door, a tree branch, a size 8 and a half sneaker,

Zack's butt, a raccoon attack... ZACK: Hey...

MELISSA: It's all in here.

We have to build something that will withstand not only one of these things,

but all of them simultaneously.

Well, you know what they say.

Whatever breaks our egg only helps our egg dropping contraption

utilize the forces of gravity, inertia and weight distribution better.

That's the spirit! Who says that?

(SQUISHING)

Okay, team. I give you version 87.3 dash 9.

ZACK: I say we just call it "Big Bertha."

I'm not naming them anymore. I don't wanna get attached.

Come here, Diogee. (PANTING)

Here it goes.

Okay, looking good.

(GRUNTS) Wait.

Okay.

I think. (GRUNTS)

Well? The egg is...

Completely intact!

We did it! Whoo-hoo!

I've gotta see this. I'll be right down!

Whoa, whoa, no! You stay right there, Milo!

We still have to get this to class in one piece.

I'll guard Big Bertha for the night.

And Melissa, you take home all the extra eggs.

What extras? That was our last one.

Really? Well, here, then.

Triple-cooler it.

And we'd better get out of here

before anything else... MARTIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Look out! No brakes!

Whoa!

(GRUNTS)

(ALARM SOUNDING)

Hi, kids.

Hi, Mr. Murphy, we gotta go, bye!

See you tomorrow, team!

MR. MURPHY: Milo, be a dear and get your dad his crutches.

(YAWNING)

Okay, Big Bertha, time to get you to schoo...

(GASPS)

No!

(GASPS) Huh.

Just a dream.

All right. Time to rise and... (GASPS)

No!

(GASPS) Oh, it's just a dream.

(GASPS)

Well, that is peculiar.

(GASPS)

Yeah, that's more like it.

(BELL RINGING)

ZACK: Melissa, over here!

How's Big Bertha doing?

Good so far. How's the egg?

A-okay!

Let's just get this thing to the classroom.

Three o'clock!

(YELLS)

Ten o'clock!

Actual clock!

He's already here, isn't he? How'd you guess?

Hi, guys!

Milo, I need to take the egg out. Do you mind?

No problem. I'll stand in the corner.

I'm helping by not helping.

Pilot egg is ready for drop-off.

Whoo-hoo! Oops!

Heads up! (ALL SCREAMING)

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

That was our last one. Now we can't even compete!

I am so sorry, Melissa. I don't know what to say.

Oh, wait a second. I forgot this one!

Okay, class, take your projects up to the roof

while I monitor the drop zone. (LAUGHS)

And send one of your team members down with me for clean-up.

I'll be on the ground crew. Good luck, guys.

And FYI, a tremendous portion of my self-esteem

is wrapped up in my grade point average,

but, you know, no pressure.

You know, I made that pencil you're holding.

MILO: I think this is taller than my tree house.

Look, with all our trials and errors,

this baby can now handle anything.

Team One, you're up.

Okay, let's go down the check list one more time.

(SQUISHING)

You need to take into account acceleration speed!

Parachute? Check.

With 1.5 second deploy speed.

Shock absorbers? (SQUISHING)

Check. Compressed air plungers braced by interior bendy straws.

I cannot emphasize weight distribution enough.

Think of my desk! I know I am.

Roll cage? Check.

Vacuum hose with closed foam core.

And we have our first successful...

Oh, uh, yeah, no. Get the mop over here.

We'll show you how it's done.

MRS. MURAWSKI: Oh. Very nice.

Just a hairline fracture.

Bradley's team is the one to beat.

Yeah! In your face, other people! I'm on your team.

I hope it works. I don't wanna let Melissa down.

Come on. How much can happen between here and the ground?

Milo, Zack, Melissa. You are the last ones to go!

Come on, hold together.

Okay. One, two...

BOTH: Three!

Yes, yes, yes...

Hey, is this the cafeteria service entrance?

No, no, no!

Uh-oh! Kickball game!

Check, she can handle that!

(WHISTLE BLOWING)

Football scrimmage! Uh... Check, theoretically.

(GROWLING)

Polar bear water tank! What? Give me those!

So, that's where the zoo is.

(GROWLS)

MILO: Freeway. ZACK: Uh... Check.

Wind turbines!

Uh... Check?

News copter! Come on.

Oh, come on.

(BARKS) Not you, Diogee.

Seriously, can someone help me out?

I gotta deliver all these eggs.

(GROWLS)

(BARKS)

We have a winner! Team Milo gets an A!

You three did it. I'm so proud of you.

Now, that's a grade A egg.

(BARKS)

Well, I guess the yolk's on...

I said no egg puns!

♪ We're all livin' in it

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ Whoa

♪ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn ♪ Whoa

♪ You know I'd rather spin it

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪