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- [ BOTH GRUNTING ]
- YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
2
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:19,016
- LET'S GET IT ON!
3
00:00:21,019 --> 00:00:24,019
- [ SCREAMING ]
[ GROANING ]
4
00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:28,011
YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT
MORE THAN THAT TO HURT ME.
5
00:00:28,014 --> 00:00:29,024
AH! WHERE'S MY BRO AT?
6
00:00:29,017 --> 00:00:34,007
[ TIGER ROARS ]
- GET AWAY FROM ME!
7
00:00:34,011 --> 00:00:35,011
GET -- AH!
8
00:00:35,007 --> 00:00:36,007
NO!
9
00:00:36,009 --> 00:00:40,009
HELP ME, HELP ME!
10
00:00:40,009 --> 00:00:44,009
[ SCREAMING ]
HE GOT MY PANTS!
11
00:00:44,012 --> 00:00:45,002
GIVE ME MY PANTS BACK!
12
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:53,006
[ TIGER ROARS ]
[ SCREAMING ]
13
00:00:53,014 --> 00:00:58,014
- NO, NO, NOT WITH THE --
NOT THE BARBED WIRE!
14
00:00:58,011 --> 00:00:59,001
AH!
15
00:00:59,004 --> 00:01:01,014
[ TIGER SNARLS ]
- DO IT, DO IT!
16
00:01:05,012 --> 00:01:08,012
- HEY, BOY!
17
00:01:08,008 --> 00:01:11,008
HEY, BOY!
18
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- DISQUALIFIED!
19
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:14,020
- OH, WE'RE DISQUALIFIED?
20
00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:15,011
- ZEBROS, DONE.
21
00:01:15,012 --> 00:01:17,012
- I WAS DISQUALIFIED?
22
00:01:17,012 --> 00:01:18,012
- THE TIGER WINS.
23
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[ BELL DINGS ]
- YOU WANNA GO GET SOME COFFEE?
24
00:01:21,007 --> 00:01:21,017
- YES.
25
00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:22,019
- ME TOO, LET'S GO.
26
00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:24,011
[ ROARS ]
27
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,015
- ♪ I LIKE CHEESE
- ♪ I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
28
00:01:31,001 --> 00:01:34,011
♪ LI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-KE
♪ CHEESE
29
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- ♪ CHEESE
- CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE!
30
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AGHHHHHHHHH! AGHHHHHHHHH!
31
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- LOITER SQUAD.
32
00:01:39,021 --> 00:01:40,021
- AGHHHHHHHHH!
33
00:01:40,021 --> 00:01:44,011
- EARLIER ON "MAURICE"...
34
00:01:48,023 --> 00:01:52,023
- NOW, OUR NEXT GUEST HAS
A PHOBIA FOR WHAT?
35
00:01:53,001 --> 00:01:55,011
DINNER.
36
00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:57,024
- IT ALL STARTED WHEN I
WAS YOUNGER AND I GOT ATTACKED
37
00:01:57,021 --> 00:01:59,011
BY A BIG-ASS PLATE OF DINNER.
38
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IT'S NEVER BEEN THE SAME.
39
00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,021
- DO YOU LIKE BREAKFAST?
40
00:02:02,019 --> 00:02:03,019
- YES, I DO.
41
00:02:03,021 --> 00:02:05,011
DO YOU LIKE LUNCH?
42
00:02:05,013 --> 00:02:05,023
- YES.
43
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:07,021
- WHAT ABOUT SNACKS?
44
00:02:07,022 --> 00:02:09,012
- I LOVE SNACKS.
45
00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:12,010
- LET'S BRING OUT HIS DINNER!
46
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- NO!
47
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:15,010
NO!
48
00:02:15,014 --> 00:02:17,024
GET THIS SHIT AWAY FROM ME,
JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!
49
00:02:19,010 --> 00:02:20,010
YOU FUCKING SET ME UP!
50
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,014
- OKAY!
51
00:02:21,009 --> 00:02:22,009
- MAURICE!
52
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NO, NO!
53
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FUCK YOU!
54
00:02:24,022 --> 00:02:26,022
I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BITCH!
55
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,020
I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!
56
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[ THEME SONG PLAYS ]
[ APPLAUSE ]
57
00:02:42,013 --> 00:02:42,023
- HEY.
58
00:02:42,023 --> 00:02:43,023
WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
59
00:02:43,019 --> 00:02:44,019
THIS IS THE GUYS FROM
"LOITER SQUAD."
60
00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:48,001
WE HAVE OUR FRIENDS LIONEL AND
EARL OUT THERE WITH SPEAKERS ON
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00:02:48,006 --> 00:02:50,016
THEIR STOMACH AND WE'RE TALKING
THROUGH THE MIC SO PEOPLE THINK
62
00:02:50,020 --> 00:02:51,020
IT'S THEM.
63
00:02:51,021 --> 00:02:54,021
- [ ON SPEAKER ] HELLO, CANI TAKE THIS SEAT?
64
00:02:54,020 --> 00:02:58,010
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULDGIVE YOU MY NUMBER, SO MAYBE WE
65
00:02:58,010 --> 00:03:01,010
COULD HANG OUT SOMETIME IF YOUWOULD LIKE THAT.
66
00:03:01,011 --> 00:03:02,021
- BUT YOU'RE NOT TALKING.
67
00:03:02,022 --> 00:03:04,012
- I MEAN,LOOK WE BOTH YOUNG, WE BOTH
68
00:03:04,011 --> 00:03:08,021
BLACK AND SUCCESSFUL, WHY DON'TWE JUST, YOU KNOW, HANG OUT AND
69
00:03:08,023 --> 00:03:11,023
GET AWAY FROM THESE WHITEMOTHERFUCKERS FOR A CHANGE
70
00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:12,021
AND SHOW 'EM WHAT WE'RE REALLYABOUT?
71
00:03:12,022 --> 00:03:14,022
- BLACK POWER IN THE HOUSE.
72
00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:16,001
- HEY, MY BROTHER, WHAT'S UP,MAN?
73
00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:18,023
- NOTHINGMAN, IT'S ONLY BLACK POWER AND
74
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:20,013
STUFF, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
75
00:03:20,012 --> 00:03:21,022
- NO, I JUST --IT'S RARE WE SEE
76
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,010
A BEAUTIFUL NUBIAN QUEEN.
77
00:03:23,013 --> 00:03:24,023
- QUEEN, QUEEN, QUEEN.
78
00:03:24,017 --> 00:03:27,017
- JUST OUT HERE, JUST EATINGSOME GOOD OL' ORANGE SODA.
79
00:03:27,021 --> 00:03:29,021
YOU KNOW, AND I LOVE ORANGESODA, IT'S REAL GOOD.
80
00:03:29,020 --> 00:03:31,000
MY FAVORITE FLAVOR IS YOU.
81
00:03:31,006 --> 00:03:34,016
I'M GONNA JUST
GO ON AHEAD AND JUST LET YOU
82
00:03:34,019 --> 00:03:35,999
KNOW WHAT MY NUMBER IS.
83
00:03:36,004 --> 00:03:37,014
- Woman: OKAY, WHAT IS IT?
84
00:03:37,014 --> 00:03:38,024
- 3-2-3-7-1-9...
85
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:43,020
- FUCK YOU.
WHY DO YOU KEEP GIVING UP MY
86
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:44,020
NUMBER?
87
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:46,010
- WHY YOU GUYS KEEP DOING THIS
TO ME?
88
00:03:46,016 --> 00:03:47,006
EVERY TIME.
89
00:03:47,016 --> 00:03:49,016
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
- SICK OF YOUR COWORKERS NOT
90
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,020
LISTENING TO SHIT YOU
GOT TO SAY.
91
00:03:52,018 --> 00:03:54,018
- IF YOU GUYS
LOOK DOWN HERE, WE'RE FALLING AT
92
00:03:54,022 --> 00:03:56,022
A PRETTY NORMAL-LOOKING
TRAJECTORY, SO I DREW THIS
93
00:03:56,019 --> 00:03:58,009
PROFITABILITY REPORT UP WHEN...
94
00:03:58,015 --> 00:04:01,005
- PROFITABILITY THIS!
95
00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:03,016
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ BUZZER ]
96
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:04,020
WELL, WE GOT SOMETHING FOR THAT.
97
00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:05,010
YOUR ULTIMATE HYPEMAN.
98
00:04:05,016 --> 00:04:08,016
NOW LET ME SHOW YOU HOW THIS
SHIT WORKS.
99
00:04:08,020 --> 00:04:10,020
- WHOO!
100
00:04:10,018 --> 00:04:12,018
[ HIP-HOP PLAYS ]
Y'ALL NIGGAS KNOW WHAT
101
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,010
IT IS, GET YOUR
MOTHERFUCKIN' HANDS UP.
102
00:04:14,013 --> 00:04:17,003
Y'ALL NIGGAS ABOUT TO GET SOME
KNOWLEDGE KICKED STRAIGHT TO
103
00:04:17,005 --> 00:04:17,995
YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' DOME.
104
00:04:18,003 --> 00:04:18,023
GET AT THEM, JEZARELL.
105
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:23,000
- SO WE STARTED OUT
QUARTER ONE AT ZERO.
106
00:04:23,002 --> 00:04:23,022
- WHOO!
107
00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:24,010
- WE SUCK.
108
00:04:24,008 --> 00:04:25,008
- Y'ALL NIGGAS SUCK!
109
00:04:25,008 --> 00:04:28,008
CALL IN RIGHT NOW AND GET YOUR
ULTIMATE HYPEMAN.
110
00:04:28,013 --> 00:04:29,023
WE ARE ALREADY SOLD OUT IN
DALLAS.
111
00:04:30,001 --> 00:04:30,011
- WE GOTTA PICK UP THE PACE.
112
00:04:30,016 --> 00:04:31,006
- PICK IT UP!
113
00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:33,010
- WE GOTTA MEAN
WHAT WE'RE DOING.
114
00:04:33,015 --> 00:04:33,995
- MEAN IT.
115
00:04:34,005 --> 00:04:34,015
- YEAH.
116
00:04:34,021 --> 00:04:35,021
- 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO MEAN IT.
117
00:04:35,022 --> 00:04:36,022
- WE NEED PROFIT.
118
00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:36,998
- I MEAN IT.
119
00:04:37,005 --> 00:04:37,995
DO Y'ALL MEAN IT.
120
00:04:38,004 --> 00:04:38,024
I MEAN IT.
121
00:04:38,017 --> 00:04:39,017
- WE NEED TO MEAN IT.
122
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- WHOO.
123
00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:41,005
- WE NEED TO MEAN IT.
124
00:04:41,011 --> 00:04:42,021
I'M LIKE HALFWAY HARD RIGHT NOW.
125
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- WHAT?
126
00:04:44,001 --> 00:04:45,021
CALL NOW AND I'LL THROW IN THIS
SUIT AND A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF
127
00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:47,001
CORDUROY TOILET PAPER.
128
00:04:47,004 --> 00:04:47,024
GO, GO, GO!
129
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:49,001
GET THEM WHILE THEY'RE HOT.
130
00:04:49,004 --> 00:04:51,014
[ APPLAUSE ]
- I HATE DINNER! [ CRYING ]
131
00:04:54,014 --> 00:04:55,024
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
132
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HEY, ALL RIGHT?
133
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- I HATE DINNER.
134
00:04:57,016 --> 00:04:59,016
- HEY, LOOK AT ME.
135
00:04:59,018 --> 00:05:00,018
IT'S JUST DINNER.
136
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,020
YOU COULD GET PAST THIS IF YOU
WANT TO GET PAST THIS.
137
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:06,010
SAY THIS WITH ME -- "BREAKFAST."
138
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,014
- BREAKFAST.
139
00:05:07,013 --> 00:05:07,023
- "LUNCH."
140
00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:09,000
- LUNCH.
141
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:10,003
- "SNACKS."
142
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- SNACKS.
143
00:05:10,023 --> 00:05:11,023
- "DINNER."
144
00:05:11,023 --> 00:05:12,023
"DINNER."
145
00:05:12,018 --> 00:05:14,008
- DI--
- "DINNER."
146
00:05:14,012 --> 00:05:14,022
- DINNER.
147
00:05:14,019 --> 00:05:15,009
- OKAY.
148
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,020
ONE MORE TIME -- "DINNER."
149
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:18,020
- DINNER.
150
00:05:18,021 --> 00:05:19,021
- YOU COULD GET
THROUGH THIS, MAN.
151
00:05:19,022 --> 00:05:21,002
- DINNER. DINNER.
152
00:05:21,004 --> 00:05:22,024
- ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA
GO OUT THERE, YOU STAY OUT HERE
153
00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:24,010
FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS AND GET
YOURSELF TOGETHER.
154
00:05:24,016 --> 00:05:24,996
- OKAY. THANK YOU.
155
00:05:25,002 --> 00:05:28,012
I LOVE THIS MAN.
156
00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:32,010
WE'RE GONNA SEE IF HE ACTUALLY
GOT OVER HIS FEAR.
157
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GIVE IT UP ONE MORE TIME.
158
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[ APPLAUSE ]
- AH!
159
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,003
- YOU COULD DO THIS.
160
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:37,024
HEY, WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
161
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- All: EAT IT!
162
00:05:41,004 --> 00:05:42,014
YOU CAN DO IT!
163
00:05:42,014 --> 00:05:43,024
- AH!
164
00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:46,017
- HEY! YOU CAN OVERCOME
ANYTHING.
165
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YOU'RE AMERICAN.
166
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YES!
167
00:05:51,007 --> 00:05:53,017
[ CHEERING ]
168
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,999
GIVE IT UP FOR HIM.
169
00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:55,023
- I DID IT.
170
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,010
I DID IT.
171
00:05:57,007 --> 00:05:58,017
- AND COMING UP NEXT...
172
00:05:58,019 --> 00:05:59,019
- I DID IT.
173
00:05:59,021 --> 00:06:02,011
- WE HAVE A MAN
WHO IS AFRAID OF SODA IN CUPS.
174
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,023
NEXT ON "MAURICE," WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK.
175
00:06:03,019 --> 00:06:04,019
- I DID IT.
176
00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:06,020
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
- IT'S OKAY MAN, IT'S OKAY.
177
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,010
YOU GOT IT, COME HERE.
178
00:06:09,007 --> 00:06:12,017
- [ ON SPEAKER ] HEYYOU WANT SOME BURGER, MA?
179
00:06:12,017 --> 00:06:13,007
BURGER, HEY.
180
00:06:13,010 --> 00:06:14,020
YOU WANTED TO BITE MY BURGER?
181
00:06:14,021 --> 00:06:16,001
WHAT'S UP, BRO, COME HERE.
182
00:06:16,005 --> 00:06:17,015
HEY, COME GET SOME BURGER.
183
00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:19,000
COME GET SOME BURGER, DAWG.
184
00:06:19,021 --> 00:06:20,011
- HEY.
185
00:06:20,016 --> 00:06:22,016
THEM ROLLER BLADES ARESLAMMING.
186
00:06:22,018 --> 00:06:24,008
HERE, TAKE SOME OF THIS BURGER.
187
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:24,999
- HEY.
188
00:06:25,002 --> 00:06:25,022
- WANT SOME OF MY BURGER TOO?
189
00:06:25,023 --> 00:06:27,023
- HEY, YOU THE MAN.
190
00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,010
- NO, NO.
191
00:06:28,014 --> 00:06:30,004
YOU TOOK THE WHOLE BURGER.
192
00:06:30,002 --> 00:06:32,002
THOUGHT WE WAS SUPPOSEDTO SHARE IT.
193
00:06:32,003 --> 00:06:34,013
[ LAUGHING ]
YO, CATCH HIM, CATCH HIM, WE
194
00:06:34,008 --> 00:06:35,008
NEED TO CATCH HIM.
195
00:06:35,015 --> 00:06:36,015
WE GOTTA CATCH HIM.
196
00:06:36,017 --> 00:06:37,017
MAN, WE GOTTACATCH THIS GUY.
197
00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:39,017
DRIVE.
198
00:06:40,022 --> 00:06:42,012
- NONE OF MY FRIENDS ATE
MY BIRTHDAY CAKE.
199
00:06:42,016 --> 00:06:44,996
I MEAN, I TOLD THEM I DON'T
LIKE ICING ON IT, YOU KNOW, I'M
200
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,005
LIKE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH SOME
LITTLE DEGREE ON IT AND STUFF?
201
00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,015
- YOU EVER PULL OUT A STICKY
DOOR THAT ROLLED DOWN THE CRACK
202
00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:50,020
OF YOUR TONGUE?
203
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:53,020
I HAVE.
204
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,000
- I HAVE.
205
00:06:55,006 --> 00:06:57,016
- I HAVE, TOO, NIGGA AND
I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY DID THAT,
206
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:58,021
DUDE.
207
00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:58,997
I JUST -- WELL, I WAS HUNGRY.
208
00:06:59,005 --> 00:07:00,015
- WE EAT DEODORANT.
209
00:07:00,018 --> 00:07:01,018
- THERE'S A HOME FOR EVERYONE.
210
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,001
- AND I DON'T KNOW WHY
EVERYBODY GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT.
211
00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:06,014
- I WANNA BE A COOK, I'M GONNA
BE A DANCER, BUT...
212
00:07:06,013 --> 00:07:09,013
- FOR MORE INFORMATION,CALL US TODAY.
213
00:07:13,004 --> 00:07:16,024
- OUR NEXT GUEST HAS
A SURPRISING PHOBIA THAT'S GONNA
214
00:07:16,017 --> 00:07:17,017
POP YOUR BUBBLE.
215
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,000
[ LAUGHTER ]
LET'S BRING HIM OUT.
216
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:20,016
DAVE.
217
00:07:21,001 --> 00:07:22,001
[ APPLAUSE ]
218
00:07:26,017 --> 00:07:30,017
NOW, DAVE HERE HAS A PHOBIA OF
SODA BEING INSIDE OF A CUP.
219
00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:33,011
- All: OOH.
220
00:07:33,008 --> 00:07:33,998
- AH.
221
00:07:34,004 --> 00:07:36,014
NAH, I'M JUST KIDDING,
I WON'T -- AAH.
222
00:07:36,014 --> 00:07:37,004
- AAH.
223
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:38,013
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
224
00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:39,009
YOU CAN -- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
225
00:07:39,010 --> 00:07:42,000
TODAY, WE'RE GONNA --
- WHAT'S GOING ON, DAWG?
226
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,023
- IT'S NOT SODA, IT IS MILK.
227
00:07:44,020 --> 00:07:46,000
- WHAT'S GOING ON, DAWG?
228
00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:47,012
- IT'S MILK.
229
00:07:47,011 --> 00:07:49,011
IT'S MILK, THERE WE GO.
230
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,020
THERE WE GO, YOU GOT THAT.
231
00:07:51,019 --> 00:07:52,999
- [ SCREAMING ]
- YOU CAN DO IT.
232
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,996
I'M SAVING LIVES LEFT AND
RIGHT.
233
00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:57,016
I'M LIKE MOTHER TERESA.
234
00:07:57,022 --> 00:07:59,012
[ LAUGHING ]
I HAVE A DICK, THOUGH.
235
00:07:59,007 --> 00:08:00,997
[ POPS ]
- ARE YOU SOFT SPOKEN?
236
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,002
- CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?
237
00:08:03,002 --> 00:08:03,012
- A WHAT?
238
00:08:03,013 --> 00:08:04,003
- CHEESEBURGER.
239
00:08:04,006 --> 00:08:05,006
- I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MAN.
240
00:08:05,008 --> 00:08:08,018
[ BUZZER ]
- WE GOT SOMETHING FOR THAT.
241
00:08:08,018 --> 00:08:09,998
YOUR ULTIMATE HYPEMAN.
242
00:08:10,002 --> 00:08:13,022
[ HIP-HOP PLAYS ]
HOLD THE FUCK UP.
243
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,020
WHAT'S GOOD, NIGGA?
244
00:08:15,018 --> 00:08:18,018
WHAT YOU WANT?
245
00:08:18,018 --> 00:08:19,018
- CHEESEBURGER.
246
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,020
- HE WANT A BURGER WITH CHEESE!
247
00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:23,021
- I GOT IT, BURGER WITH CHEESE.
248
00:08:23,022 --> 00:08:25,012
- WITH FUCKIN' NO LETTUCE.
249
00:08:25,011 --> 00:08:29,001
I PUT MY VOICE ON TOP OF YOUR
VOICE AND WE AIN'T NO BITCH NO
250
00:08:29,003 --> 00:08:29,023
MORE.
251
00:08:29,017 --> 00:08:31,007
SHIT BETTER BE RIGHT.
252
00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:37,002
- YOU SEE THIS?
253
00:08:37,005 --> 00:08:38,995
IT'S FUCKING LETTUCE AND NO
CHEESE.
254
00:08:39,002 --> 00:08:41,002
COME HERE, COME HERE,
COME LOOK, COME LOOK.
255
00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:42,012
COME LOOK AT THE FUCKING
BURGER!
256
00:08:42,007 --> 00:08:45,017
WHOOPA, WHOOPA, WHOOPA,
WHOOPA.
257
00:08:45,023 --> 00:08:47,013
GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
258
00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:48,010
YOU BITCH NIGGA!
259
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:50,010
CALL NOW BEFORE THEY'RE ALL
GONE.
260
00:08:50,011 --> 00:08:51,021
HABLO ESPONOSO.
261
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:58,020
- ACHOO, ACHOO, ACHOO, ACHOO,
ACHOO, ACHOO, ACHOO, ACHOO,
262
00:08:58,022 --> 00:09:00,022
ACHOO, OH MY GOD.
263
00:09:00,022 --> 00:09:02,022
- WELCOME BACK TO "MAURICE."
264
00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:06,000
AND NOW OUR WHOLE EPISODE HAS
BEEN ABOUT PHOBIAS, BUT THIS
265
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,014
MIGHT BE THE CRAZIEST ONE YET.
266
00:09:08,008 --> 00:09:10,018
[ LAUGHS ]
OUR NEXT GUEST HAS
267
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:11,020
A BIG FEAR OF DRAWERS.
268
00:09:11,023 --> 00:09:14,023
BUT HE'S REALLY
SCARED OF THEM WHEN THEY'RE...
269
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,001
[ THUNDER RUMBLES ]
WET.
270
00:09:16,003 --> 00:09:19,003
LET'S BRING OUT DAMARCUS.
271
00:09:19,002 --> 00:09:22,022
[ APPLAUSE ]
- HOW ARE YOU DOING, MAN?
272
00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:22,997
- HI.
273
00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:23,024
- HOW YOU DOING?
274
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:25,021
WOW, SO, UH,
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
275
00:09:26,001 --> 00:09:27,011
- I'M GLAD YOU
COULD BRING ME HERE.
276
00:09:27,008 --> 00:09:27,018
- HOW ARE YOU?
277
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,020
- I'M WELL, THANK YOU.
278
00:09:28,023 --> 00:09:29,023
- All: OOH.
279
00:09:29,017 --> 00:09:31,017
- OH, WHAT'S
THIS, A FASHION SHOW?
280
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:32,021
- COULD WE, UM,
COME A LITTLE CLOSER?
281
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:34,011
YOU JUST STAND HERE.
282
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:37,998
WE JUST WANNA HELP YOU GET
OVER YOUR FEAR.
283
00:09:38,005 --> 00:09:38,015
- NO.
284
00:09:38,020 --> 00:09:39,020
AAH!
285
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:40,020
NO!
286
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:41,020
AAH!
287
00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:46,021
- MORE, MORE,
MORE, MORE BOXERS, MORE BOXERS!
288
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,010
YEAH, THERE'S MORE OF THEM,
THERE'S MORE OF THEM.
289
00:09:48,013 --> 00:09:51,003
- [ SCREAMING ]
- YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE,
290
00:09:51,005 --> 00:09:53,005
YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
291
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,999
SURROUND HIM, SURROUND HIM.
292
00:09:55,004 --> 00:09:57,024
- NO, NO, OH FUCK OFF ME NIGGA!
293
00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:00,011
FUCK OFF ME!
294
00:10:04,005 --> 00:10:07,995
- NEXT WEEK ON "MAURICE," WE'RE
GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO GIVE
295
00:10:08,002 --> 00:10:10,022
YOURSELF A SELF-PAP SMEAR,
IF YOU'RE A MALE.
296
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,021
THANKS FOR WATCHING, AND
ALWAYS REMEMBER...
297
00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:14,020
WHAT'S UP?
298
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,010
[ LAUGHS ]
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
299
00:10:16,013 --> 00:10:21,013
NEXT ON "MAURICE," POP STAR
BODY PARTS,
300
00:10:21,013 --> 00:10:23,023
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
301
00:10:23,017 --> 00:10:28,997
MICHAEL JACKSON'S NOSE,
MILEY CYRUS' BUTT, MIGUEL'S LEG.
302
00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:34,005
YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME!
303
00:10:34,014 --> 00:10:38,004
- [ BOTH GRUNTING ]
- OW, YOU STEPPED ON MY
304
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:40,003
FOOT [BLEEP].
305
00:10:40,002 --> 00:10:42,012
- WOULD YOU MIND IF I JUST DO
SOME PUSHUPS REAL QUICK?
306
00:10:42,007 --> 00:10:44,997
- [ ON SPEAKER ] DUDE, WATCHTHIS, WATCH THIS, WATCH THIS.
307
00:10:45,003 --> 00:10:45,023
ONE...
308
00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:47,013
- WHOA, THATGUY IS DOING PUSHUPS.
309
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,023
- TWO, THREE.
310
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,020
- HE'S SUCH A STRONG MAN.
311
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:51,020
- BACK TO "MAURICE."
312
00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:55,001
NOW WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL
GUEST TODAY, HIS NAME IS
313
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:55,022
CRIDDLE.
314
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:58,022
- [ SCREAMING ]
- CRIDDLE, TELL US WHAT
315
00:10:58,022 --> 00:11:00,002
YOUR --
HELP!
316
00:11:00,002 --> 00:11:01,012
SECURITY!
317
00:11:01,016 --> 00:11:03,996
- FRAUD! FRAUD!
21467
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