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1
00:00:10,012 --> 00:00:11,022
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY,
CHRIS?
2
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,010
I'M -- WELL, RIGHT NOW I'M
ABOUT TO PUT ON SOME SPARTACUS
3
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:20,006
SANDALS, AND I'M GONNA...
4
00:00:20,007 --> 00:00:24,007
CALL THESE BLACK GUYS "MONKEYS."
5
00:00:24,008 --> 00:00:26,008
APES.
6
00:00:26,012 --> 00:00:27,022
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
7
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:28,020
WELL...
8
00:00:28,020 --> 00:00:30,020
ARE YOU COMFORTABLE TALKING
LIKE THAT?
9
00:00:30,023 --> 00:00:31,013
IT WAS THEIR IDEA.
10
00:00:31,010 --> 00:00:33,010
NI-I-I-I-GGA-A-A!
11
00:00:33,012 --> 00:00:36,012
YOU AIN'T SHIT WITH A
FUCKING MONKEY NIGGA.
12
00:00:36,012 --> 00:00:39,022
YOU BLACK MOTHER FUCKER
IT MIGHT SOUND HATEFUL, BUT
13
00:00:39,021 --> 00:00:40,021
IT'S NOT.
14
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,010
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO
AFRICA, WHERE YOU BELONG?
15
00:00:44,009 --> 00:00:46,009
[ ROARS ]
16
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,010
♪ I LIKE CHEESE ♪
♪ I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I ♪
17
00:00:52,013 --> 00:00:55,003
♪ LI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-KE ♪
18
00:00:55,005 --> 00:00:58,005
♪ CHEESE ♪
CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE!
19
00:00:58,009 --> 00:00:59,019
AGHHHHHHHHH! AGHHHHHHHHH!
20
00:00:59,022 --> 00:01:00,012
LOITER SQUAD.
21
00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:02,006
AGHHHHHHHHH!
22
00:01:02,013 --> 00:01:04,003
GOOD NEWS, NIGGAS -- BLAKE'S
BACK!
23
00:01:04,004 --> 00:01:05,024
All: YEAH!
24
00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:06,020
I'LL BE SO CRAZY.
25
00:01:06,018 --> 00:01:07,008
HEY.
26
00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:08,010
HEY, BLAKE, YOU STILL CRAZY?
27
00:01:08,016 --> 00:01:09,016
THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS WILD.
28
00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:10,021
YOU STILL CRAZY?
29
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,010
SHOW THEM HOW CRAZY YOU ARE!
30
00:01:12,009 --> 00:01:13,019
SHOW YOU'RE CRAZY!
31
00:01:13,017 --> 00:01:14,007
YOU'RE CRAZY!
32
00:01:14,014 --> 00:01:15,014
YEAH.
33
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,008
DO IT! YEAH!
34
00:01:16,008 --> 00:01:16,998
DO IT! DO IT!
35
00:01:17,005 --> 00:01:18,005
HERE IT GOES.
36
00:01:18,008 --> 00:01:20,018
NO-O-O-O-O!
37
00:01:20,023 --> 00:01:24,003
[ ALL CHEERING ]
HE DON'T GIVE A --
38
00:01:24,005 --> 00:01:27,005
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH! Y'ALL GET THAT?
39
00:01:27,014 --> 00:01:28,014
YOU GET THAT, LANCE?
40
00:01:28,014 --> 00:01:31,014
[ LAUGHTER ]
HEY, IT'S RATINGS! RATINGS!
41
00:01:31,014 --> 00:01:33,004
THEY GONNA PAY ME!
42
00:01:38,006 --> 00:01:40,996
IT'S THE ONLY WORLD SHE'S
EVER KNOWN.
43
00:01:41,002 --> 00:01:42,022
WALKING...
44
00:01:42,023 --> 00:01:44,013
SHOPPING...
45
00:01:44,014 --> 00:01:45,024
TANNING...
46
00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:48,013
AND OTHER RICH-WHITE-WOMAN
STUFF.
47
00:01:48,015 --> 00:01:51,005
IT'S THE ONLY WORLD HE'SEVER
KNOWN.
48
00:01:51,014 --> 00:01:55,014
DARK -- VERY, REALLY DARK.
49
00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:58,020
'CAUSE HE'S BLIND.
50
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,018
WHO IS THAT?
51
00:02:00,001 --> 00:02:01,011
IT'S BLIND MIKE.
52
00:02:01,014 --> 00:02:02,014
MIKE?
53
00:02:02,011 --> 00:02:03,011
YEAH?
54
00:02:03,010 --> 00:02:07,000
MICHAEL, DO YOU HAVE A PLACE
TO STAY TONIGHT?
55
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:08,013
YEAH, I LIVE UP THE STREET.
56
00:02:08,011 --> 00:02:09,021
NO, MI-- DON'T YOU LIE TO ME.
57
00:02:09,021 --> 00:02:10,021
I'M NOT LYING.
58
00:02:10,018 --> 00:02:11,998
YOU CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE.
59
00:02:12,003 --> 00:02:13,013
YOU'RE GONNA COME WITH US.
60
00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:13,017
IS THAT OKAY?
61
00:02:13,019 --> 00:02:14,019
NO. NO, WAIT. WHAT?
62
00:02:14,022 --> 00:02:16,022
BUCKLE UP, BUTTERCUP.
63
00:02:18,021 --> 00:02:20,011
NOW, MIKE, THIS IS YOUR NEW
HOME.
64
00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:21,010
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NEW HOME?
65
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,005
I HAVE A HOME ALREADY.
66
00:02:22,015 --> 00:02:23,005
WATCH YOUR STEP.
67
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:23,022
COME ON.
68
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:24,020
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
69
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:25,020
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
70
00:02:25,022 --> 00:02:27,002
GO!
71
00:02:27,002 --> 00:02:28,022
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU WHERE THE
TOILET IS AND HOW TO FLUSH IT.
72
00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:29,020
NOW, IT'S RIGHT HERE.
73
00:02:29,019 --> 00:02:31,009
I KNOW HOW TO FLUSH A FUCK
TOILET.
74
00:02:31,015 --> 00:02:32,005
RIGHT HERE, OKAY?
75
00:02:32,011 --> 00:02:33,021
I'VE TAKEN A SHIT BEFORE.
76
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:35,009
YOU DON'T THINK I CAN FLUSH MY
OWN TOILET?
77
00:02:35,015 --> 00:02:36,005
THERE YOU GO!
78
00:02:36,011 --> 00:02:37,021
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
THIS IS A BANANA.
79
00:02:37,019 --> 00:02:38,009
GIVE ME YOUR HAND.
80
00:02:38,015 --> 00:02:39,015
I KNOW WHAT A BANANA IS.
81
00:02:39,019 --> 00:02:40,999
THIS IS A BANANA -- "BANANA."
82
00:02:41,003 --> 00:02:42,003
I'M A GROWN-ASS MAN.
83
00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,013
YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW WHAT A
BANANA IS?
84
00:02:44,015 --> 00:02:45,005
SMELL THE ROSE.
85
00:02:45,016 --> 00:02:46,016
SMELL THE ROSE, MIKE!
86
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,010
I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!
87
00:02:48,012 --> 00:02:49,012
ISN'T IT NICE?
88
00:02:49,012 --> 00:02:51,012
SANDRA BULLOCK.
89
00:02:51,016 --> 00:02:53,016
LIONEL BOYCE.
90
00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:55,013
A STORY THAT WILL TOUCH YOU
HARD.
91
00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:58,007
[ SNIFFLING ]
SO HARD.
92
00:02:58,008 --> 00:03:00,998
NOW, MIKE, YOU DOPLAY
FOOTBALL, RIGHT?
93
00:03:01,003 --> 00:03:02,013
BITCH, I AM BLIND!
94
00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:04,002
I DON'T PLAY NO FOOTBALL!
95
00:03:04,003 --> 00:03:05,013
"THE BLIND SIDE 2."
96
00:03:05,011 --> 00:03:08,011
THIS TIME, THE NIGGA'S REALLY
BLIND.
97
00:03:08,012 --> 00:03:11,012
ME AND LIONEL SET OUR FRIENDS
UP FOR A FAKE CASTING CALL FOR A
98
00:03:11,012 --> 00:03:12,012
JAPANESE ENERGY DRINK.
99
00:03:12,016 --> 00:03:14,006
WE HAVE A FAKE DIRECTOR, FAKE
CASTING -- FAKE EVERYTHING.
100
00:03:14,007 --> 00:03:17,997
AND WE CAN TALK TO THEM ON THIS
MICROPHONE THAT WE HAVE SET UP
101
00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:18,023
IN OUR ROOM.
102
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:20,010
AND I'M NOT WEARING THIS
SHIRT.
103
00:03:20,008 --> 00:03:21,008
YEAH, THIS IS A PICKUP SHOT.
104
00:03:21,016 --> 00:03:23,006
WE DIDN'T REALLY WEAR THESE
DUSTY-ASS CLOTHES.
105
00:03:23,016 --> 00:03:25,996
YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I WOULDN'T
WEAR NO FUCKING LIME-GREEN
106
00:03:26,004 --> 00:03:26,024
MEDIUM SHIRT.
107
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,020
A PRO CLUB HOODIE THAT'S TOO
SMALL.
108
00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:30,022
HI.
109
00:03:30,019 --> 00:03:31,999
I'M DIANE HARTMAN, THE CASTING
DIRECTOR.
110
00:03:32,005 --> 00:03:32,995
NICE TO MEET YOU.
111
00:03:33,003 --> 00:03:34,023
NICE TO MEET YOU, JASPER.
112
00:03:35,005 --> 00:03:37,015
AND HERE ARE OUR CLIENTS,
JASPER.
113
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,007
HELLO.
114
00:03:38,013 --> 00:03:38,023
JASPER.
115
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,011
NICE TO MEET YOU.
116
00:03:40,015 --> 00:03:41,015
HI. I'M JASPER.
117
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:43,000
NICE TO MEET YOU.
118
00:03:43,004 --> 00:03:43,024
HELLO. HELLO.
119
00:03:43,021 --> 00:03:44,011
AND THIS IS OUR DIRECTOR.
120
00:03:44,008 --> 00:03:45,008
OH, HEY. AKI.
121
00:03:45,008 --> 00:03:47,008
NICE TO MEET YOU.
122
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:48,009
NICE TO MEET YOU, MAN.
123
00:03:48,014 --> 00:03:50,004
THIS IS OUR DRINK -- NONDE HAI.
124
00:03:50,005 --> 00:03:50,015
NONDE HAI?
125
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:51,021
NONDE HAI.
126
00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:53,021
AND IT'S VERY IMPORTANT DRINK IN
JAPAN.
127
00:03:53,022 --> 00:03:56,022
IT'S EVERYBODY -- YOU KNOW,
BUSINESSMAN DRINK THIS DRINK,
128
00:03:56,021 --> 00:03:57,011
YOU KNOW?
129
00:03:57,013 --> 00:03:58,023
YOU'RE KIND OF CHUBBY.
130
00:03:58,017 --> 00:03:59,017
LITTLE CHUBBY, HUH?
131
00:03:59,017 --> 00:04:00,007
LITTLE BIT.
132
00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:00,999
LITTLE BIT?
133
00:04:01,002 --> 00:04:01,022
THAT'S OKAY, THOUGH.
134
00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:04,011
YOU LOOK AT THE CAMERA AND SAY,
"NONDE HAI!"
135
00:04:04,014 --> 00:04:05,014
ALL RIGHT.
136
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:06,012
ENERGY, OKAY?
137
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,023
WHEN I SAY "ACTION," BRING
ACTION!
138
00:04:08,017 --> 00:04:09,007
NONDE HAI!
139
00:04:10,004 --> 00:04:10,024
AGAIN!
140
00:04:10,018 --> 00:04:11,008
NONDE HAI!
141
00:04:11,014 --> 00:04:12,004
AGAIN!
142
00:04:12,006 --> 00:04:12,016
NONDE HAI!
143
00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:13,021
BRING IT AGAIN!
144
00:04:14,019 --> 00:04:15,009
NONDE HAI!
145
00:04:16,013 --> 00:04:17,003
ACTION!
146
00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:18,003
NONDE HAI!
147
00:04:18,002 --> 00:04:18,022
NO! NO! NO! NO!
148
00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:19,021
MORE ENERGY!
149
00:04:19,018 --> 00:04:20,998
MORE ENERGY! MORE ENERGY!
150
00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:22,013
NONDE HAI.
151
00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:24,000
FUCK ME IN MY ASS, MIKE G.
152
00:04:24,005 --> 00:04:25,005
COME ON, MIKE!
153
00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:26,020
FUCK ME IN ASS!
154
00:04:26,018 --> 00:04:27,018
NONDE HAI!
155
00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:31,018
[ LAUGHTER ]
NONDE HAI!
156
00:04:31,018 --> 00:04:32,008
ASK HIM IF HE COULD DANCE.
157
00:04:32,009 --> 00:04:33,009
CAN YOU DANCE?
158
00:04:33,009 --> 00:04:34,019
UH...
159
00:04:35,014 --> 00:04:36,004
LIKE USHER?
160
00:04:36,006 --> 00:04:37,006
YOU CAN DO USHER STYLE LIKE...
161
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:38,995
[ GRUNTS ]
USHER! USHER!
162
00:04:39,006 --> 00:04:40,006
GO!
163
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:42,005
GANGY HAI!
164
00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:43,014
LIKE THAT?
165
00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,020
THAT'S NOT DANCING!
166
00:04:44,021 --> 00:04:47,001
THAT'S NOT DANCE!
167
00:04:47,005 --> 00:04:48,005
DANCE!
168
00:04:48,010 --> 00:04:51,000
♪ NONDE HAI! NONDE HAI! ♪
♪ TASTES SO GOOD, MAKES ME WANT
169
00:04:51,003 --> 00:04:52,023
TO CRY ♪
MORE ENERGY! MORE ENERGY!
170
00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:55,010
♪ NONDE HAI! NONDE HAI! ♪
♪ TASTES SO GOOD, MAKES ME WANT
171
00:04:55,014 --> 00:04:57,024
TO CRY ♪
♪ NONE HAI! NONDE HAI! ♪
172
00:04:57,020 --> 00:05:00,020
♪ TASTES SO ALI-I-VE! ♪
NONDE HAI!
173
00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:09,000
HEY, PLAY THAT -- PLAY THAT
ONE YOUNG NIGGA JOINT.
174
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:12,014
♪ I WANT SOME CHE-E-E-E-ESE ♪
I REMEMBER THAT.
175
00:05:12,016 --> 00:05:13,996
HEY, B, YOU KNOW WHERE WE BE,
BRO?
176
00:05:14,004 --> 00:05:17,014
♪ I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I ♪
♪ WANT SOME CHE-E-E-E-E-SE ♪
177
00:05:17,011 --> 00:05:19,021
♪ I WANT, I WANT, I WANT
SOME CHEESE, BABY ♪
178
00:05:19,022 --> 00:05:22,002
SHUT UP NIGGA
HOLT, YOU AIN'T BOYZ II MEN.
179
00:05:22,006 --> 00:05:22,016
SHUT YOUR ASS UP!
180
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:23,020
FUCK YOU.
181
00:05:23,019 --> 00:05:24,019
TALKING ABOUT THAT DUDE.
182
00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:25,023
YO, I GOT YOU.
183
00:05:25,019 --> 00:05:26,019
OH, Y'ALL KEEP GOING.
184
00:05:26,019 --> 00:05:27,019
KEEP GOING WITH THAT.
185
00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:30,009
♪ I ♪
♪ I, I, I ♪
186
00:05:30,014 --> 00:05:34,014
♪ SOME CHEESE, CHEESE, YEAH,
YEAH ♪
187
00:05:34,007 --> 00:05:35,017
YO, WHERE'S LUNCH?
188
00:05:38,017 --> 00:05:41,007
THIS IS THE NIGHTCLUB
SETTING -- NIGHTCLUB.
189
00:05:41,012 --> 00:05:42,012
SHE'S HOT, OKAY?
190
00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:43,022
YOU DO YOUR PICKUP LINE.
191
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,020
WHAT'S UP, MAH?
192
00:05:45,018 --> 00:05:45,022
CAN YOU DO IT?
193
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:46,020
YEAH.
194
00:05:46,023 --> 00:05:47,023
ACTION!
195
00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:49,010
WHAT'S UP, MAH?
196
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:51,020
OOH!
197
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,010
AW
YEAH, THE ACTION!
198
00:05:53,011 --> 00:05:55,011
THE ACTION! THE ACTION!
199
00:05:55,012 --> 00:05:56,012
FUCK
HARDER!
200
00:05:56,016 --> 00:06:00,006
HEY, SEXY! COME HERE! I LO--
AAH! OH, MY GOD!
201
00:06:00,016 --> 00:06:01,006
HARDER!
202
00:06:01,007 --> 00:06:02,007
GET MAD AT HER.
203
00:06:02,007 --> 00:06:02,997
HARDER, OKAY?!
204
00:06:03,005 --> 00:06:05,995
[ LAUGHS ]
ACTION!
205
00:06:06,004 --> 00:06:07,014
OH, MY GOD!
206
00:06:07,016 --> 00:06:08,006
COME HERE, SEXY! I WANT YOU!
207
00:06:08,011 --> 00:06:10,011
OOH!
208
00:06:10,015 --> 00:06:12,015
OH, MY GOD! YEEEH!
209
00:06:12,020 --> 00:06:13,010
ACTION!
210
00:06:13,016 --> 00:06:14,016
WHAT'S UP, MAH?
211
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000
HOW YOU DOING?
212
00:06:16,003 --> 00:06:17,023
OOF!
213
00:06:18,022 --> 00:06:20,022
NONDE HAI!
214
00:06:22,013 --> 00:06:26,013
[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]
YEAH!
215
00:06:26,009 --> 00:06:30,009
THIS SUMMER, EXPERIENCE THE
THRILLS...
216
00:06:30,016 --> 00:06:33,016
FEEL THE EXCITEMENT...
217
00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:35,011
GRAB LIFE BY THE BALLS...
218
00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:40,022
AND EXPERIENCE THE WARM FEELING
OF "THE BLIND SIDE."
219
00:06:40,017 --> 00:06:41,017
All: AW!
220
00:06:41,022 --> 00:06:42,022
BIG MIKE!
221
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,020
YOU ALL RIGHT, BIG MIKE?
222
00:06:44,021 --> 00:06:47,021
[ SNICKERS ]
THIS SUMMER, YOU CAN LAUGH,
223
00:06:47,018 --> 00:06:49,998
CRY, AND STUFF YOUR FACE WITH
POPCORN.
224
00:06:50,006 --> 00:06:51,016
OR YOU CAN PUT IT IN YOUR
BOOTY HOLE.
225
00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:52,021
SAY THAT.
226
00:06:52,023 --> 00:06:54,013
[ LAUGHTER ]
OR YOU CAN PUT IN YOUR BOOTY
227
00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:54,023
HOLE.
228
00:06:54,021 --> 00:06:55,001
SAY THAT.
229
00:06:55,006 --> 00:06:56,016
[ LAUGHTER ]
230
00:06:57,004 --> 00:07:00,004
THIS IS JAKE, AND HE GOT ONE
OF THEM DEEP MOVIE NIGGA
231
00:07:00,006 --> 00:07:06,006
VOICES, AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE HIM
SAY STUFF AGAINST HIS WILL.
232
00:07:06,014 --> 00:07:09,024
[ LAUGHS ]
[ Laughing ] WHAT?
233
00:07:09,018 --> 00:07:11,998
"I WANT TO SHOVE THAT BUNDLE OF
BANANAS UP MY ASS."
234
00:07:12,006 --> 00:07:15,016
[ LAUGHTER ]
JUST SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT.
235
00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,001
SAY THIS. LOOK.
236
00:07:17,002 --> 00:07:19,022
SAY, "ALL I HAVE FOR YOU IS
HARD DICK AND BUBBLEGUM.
237
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:20,022
HEY!
238
00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:24,017
[ LAUGHTER ]
HE GOT -- CHECK IT OUT.
239
00:07:24,022 --> 00:07:26,012
YOU JUST GOT KICKED OUT.
240
00:07:26,007 --> 00:07:28,017
THEN JUST SAY, "I'M ALL OUT
OF BUBBLEGUM."
241
00:07:28,019 --> 00:07:30,009
YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORDS.
242
00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:32,009
JUST SAY, "I'M ALL OUT OF
BUBBLEGUM."
243
00:07:32,013 --> 00:07:33,023
HEY, I'M DARK SHARK.
244
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:40,019
I'M ABOUT TO TAKE MY SON JASPER
TO THE HOOD WHERE I GREW UP AT.
245
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:43,023
HOW ABOUT THE TIME YOU WENT
TO JAIL AROUND CHRISTMAS?
246
00:07:43,023 --> 00:07:45,003
OH, WHEN I GOT OUT?
247
00:07:45,004 --> 00:07:48,014
WELL, I JUST DID 4 1/2 YEARS.
248
00:07:48,008 --> 00:07:51,018
GOT OUT -- HANGING WITH MY OLD
BUDDIES AND MY HOMEGIRLS.
249
00:07:51,018 --> 00:07:55,998
THEY GOING AROUND STEALING,
SHOPLIFTING FROM ALL THE STORES.
250
00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:58,023
AND I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO GO,
BUT THEY WAS LIKE, "WE GONNA
251
00:07:58,020 --> 00:07:59,020
GET YOUR KIDS SOMETHING."
252
00:07:59,023 --> 00:08:02,013
EVERYBODY KNOWS I LOVE MY TWO
SONS, BUZZY AND BONBON.
253
00:08:02,008 --> 00:08:04,018
[ DING! ]
SO I WENT ALONG WITH THEM.
254
00:08:04,023 --> 00:08:08,023
THEY COME OUT THE STORE WITH
BAGS OF STOLEN STUFF, PUT IT IN
255
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,010
MY CAR.
256
00:08:09,009 --> 00:08:10,019
WE DROVE OFF LAUGHING.
257
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:13,023
[ ENGINE REVS ]
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE PO-PO
258
00:08:13,018 --> 00:08:14,018
WAS ON OUR ASS.
259
00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:18,009
[ SIREN WAILS ]
PULLED US OVER AND HAD ALL THAT
260
00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:21,020
TOYS 'R' US CLOTHES AND TOYS IN
THE CAR AND BUSTED US.
261
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:24,010
I ENDED UP DOING THREE YEARS --
MISSED CHRISTMAS AND ALL THAT.
262
00:08:24,012 --> 00:08:26,022
AND EVERY TIME I SEEN A
TOYS 'R' US COMMERCIAL ON TV, I
263
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:27,020
WANTED TO KILL SOMEBODY.
264
00:08:27,019 --> 00:08:31,009
[ GUNSHOT ]
EVERY TIME I SAW THAT GIRAFFE...
265
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:32,012
YEAH.
266
00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:34,023
EVERY TIME I SEEN THAT
SHIT ON TV WHILE I WAS IN
267
00:08:35,001 --> 00:08:35,021
JAIL, I WAS A LIKE AN IDIOT.
268
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:40,000
I JUST FELT LIKE A GOD DAMN
IDIOT.
269
00:08:40,004 --> 00:08:41,014
NONDE HAI!
270
00:08:41,016 --> 00:08:42,006
BRING THE MONKEY IN.
271
00:08:42,016 --> 00:08:43,016
OKAY, BRING THE MONKEY IN.
272
00:08:43,021 --> 00:08:46,011
[ CLAPPING ]
YEAH, MONKEY MIKE!
273
00:08:46,008 --> 00:08:48,018
[ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, CRAZY MONKEY MIKE, MAN.
274
00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:49,010
AAAAAH!
275
00:08:49,016 --> 00:08:51,006
[ LAUGHS ]
GIVE HIM A DRINK AND TELL HIM
276
00:08:51,009 --> 00:08:52,009
TO SAY, "NONDE HAI."
277
00:08:52,012 --> 00:08:55,022
AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA SAY
"NONDE HAI!" TO THE CAMERA.
278
00:08:55,019 --> 00:08:56,019
ENERGY.
279
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,020
DON'T TOUCH MONKEY, BECAUSE HE'S
GONNA BITE YOUR FINGER OFF.
280
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:01,010
OKAY?
281
00:09:01,016 --> 00:09:02,996
[ LAUGHTER ]
STAY.
282
00:09:03,002 --> 00:09:04,002
NOW DO SEXY DANCE.
283
00:09:04,005 --> 00:09:06,015
OKAY, I WANT YOU TO DO THE
SEXY DANCE WITH THIS.
284
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:07,010
SEXY DANCE!
285
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,013
BEYONCé! BEYONCé!
286
00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:09,020
YEAH! YEAH! MORE! MORE! MORE!
287
00:09:09,022 --> 00:09:11,002
MORE ENERGY! MORE ENERGY!
288
00:09:11,005 --> 00:09:13,005
[ GRUNTS ]
AND SAY, "NONDE HAI!"
289
00:09:13,012 --> 00:09:14,022
NONDE HAI! NONDE HAI!
290
00:09:15,001 --> 00:09:22,011
[ LAUGHS ]
NONDE HAI!
291
00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:28,016
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
HELLO?
292
00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:30,020
YES, I'M IN THE HOOD.
293
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:32,020
GOTCHA.
294
00:09:36,005 --> 00:09:39,005
[ HORN HONKS ]
I'M DAVID BLAINE.
295
00:09:39,009 --> 00:09:40,999
I'M CRISS ANGEL.
296
00:09:41,006 --> 00:09:42,016
AND WE DO MAGIC.
297
00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:44,011
HA!
298
00:09:50,011 --> 00:09:51,011
WAS THIS YOUR CARD?
299
00:09:51,010 --> 00:09:51,020
YES.
300
00:09:51,022 --> 00:09:52,022
WAS THIS YOUR CARD?
301
00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:55,011
[ LAUGHS ]
AAAAAH!
302
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,021
MINDFREAK!
303
00:09:56,022 --> 00:09:58,022
IT'S MAGIC, NIGGA.
304
00:09:58,022 --> 00:10:01,022
PICK A CARD.
305
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:02,008
CHOOSE A CARD.
306
00:10:02,014 --> 00:10:03,014
RIGHT, RIGHT.
307
00:10:03,007 --> 00:10:04,007
WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.
308
00:10:04,009 --> 00:10:04,999
OKAY. RIGHT THERE.
309
00:10:05,006 --> 00:10:06,006
PICK THE CARD OUT.
310
00:10:06,014 --> 00:10:08,004
YOU GOT TO LET ME HAVE IT.
311
00:10:08,006 --> 00:10:09,006
YOU CAN GRAB IT.
312
00:10:09,012 --> 00:10:10,012
THAT'S MAGIC.
313
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,010
OKAY
GIVE ME THE CARD BACK.
314
00:10:12,013 --> 00:10:13,003
MAGIC.
315
00:10:13,002 --> 00:10:16,012
AH, MAN.
316
00:10:16,010 --> 00:10:17,020
YOU WANT TO SEE ME LEVITATE?
317
00:10:17,023 --> 00:10:19,003
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
318
00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:21,002
ALL RIGHT, WATCH THIS.
319
00:10:23,009 --> 00:10:26,019
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
YOU WANT TO SEE A REAL MAGIC
320
00:10:26,018 --> 00:10:28,018
TRICK?
321
00:10:28,022 --> 00:10:30,022
YEAH.
322
00:10:33,018 --> 00:10:36,018
MINDFREAK.
323
00:10:36,018 --> 00:10:40,018
NIGGA ATE MY FRIES.
324
00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:44,023
MIND FRE--
[ COUGHING ]
325
00:10:44,023 --> 00:10:46,013
YOU ALL RIGHT?
326
00:10:46,009 --> 00:10:46,019
YEAH.
327
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000
[ LAUGHS ]
328
00:10:48,003 --> 00:10:50,013
AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.
329
00:10:50,010 --> 00:10:51,020
OOH!
330
00:10:51,022 --> 00:10:53,002
I MADE IT DISAPPEAR.
331
00:10:53,002 --> 00:10:54,022
AND YOU JUST DRILLED SOME
DUDE IN THE FACE WITH A PENCIL,
332
00:10:54,018 --> 00:10:55,008
DUDE.
333
00:10:55,015 --> 00:10:59,005
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE KIDS ARE GONNA LOVE IT,
334
00:10:59,010 --> 00:11:01,010
AND THEY MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING.
335
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,020
I KNOW IDID.
21520
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