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WHAT'S UP, NIGGAS?
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00:00:11,002 --> 00:00:14,012
WHAT UP?
3
00:00:14,012 --> 00:00:15,002
D'ANGELO.
4
00:00:15,003 --> 00:00:16,013
KEITH.
5
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,015
I'M D'ANGELO.
6
00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:19,000
ALL RIGHT, SO THE GUYS ARE
COMING IN FOR WHAT THEY THINK IS
7
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A MANDATORY SEXUAL-HARASSMENT
SEMINAR TAUGHT BY OUR "LAWYER,"
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00:00:23,014 --> 00:00:24,024
MARK.
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BUT REALLY, WE'VE GOT A ROOM
FILLED WITH HIDDEN CAMERAS, AND
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WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN WITH
THESE GUYS.
11
00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:32,020
WHAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT?
12
00:00:32,023 --> 00:00:36,013
VERBAL, PHYSICAL, OR VISUAL
CONDUCT OF A SEXUAL NATURE.
13
00:00:36,012 --> 00:00:40,022
SO GRUNTS, WOLF-WHISTLES,
CATCALLS -- DEMANDING, "HEY,
14
00:00:40,022 --> 00:00:42,012
BABY, GIVE ME SMILE."
15
00:00:42,015 --> 00:00:45,005
[ LAUGHS ]
SO...ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE'RE
16
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:46,012
ALL ADULTS HERE.
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00:00:46,015 --> 00:00:48,015
IF WE HAVE TO -- WE HAVE TO DO
THIS.
18
00:00:48,023 --> 00:00:52,023
SO, UM, EXAMPLES OF
INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING --
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00:00:52,017 --> 00:00:53,017
A PAT ON THE BACK.
20
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:54,020
MMM, OOH.
21
00:00:54,023 --> 00:00:55,013
VERY, VERY...
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00:00:55,008 --> 00:00:55,998
OOH, WAIT.
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00:00:56,003 --> 00:00:57,003
...VERY, VERY NORMAL.
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00:00:57,003 --> 00:01:01,023
IT'S A GESTURE OF AFFECTIONATE,
OF FRIENDSHIP.
25
00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:05,011
BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU START
TO, LIKE, LEAVE YOUR HANDS ON
26
00:01:05,008 --> 00:01:09,018
AND YOU START GETTING INTO A
BACK RUB, YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT BE
27
00:01:09,020 --> 00:01:10,010
INAPPROPRIATE.
28
00:01:10,016 --> 00:01:13,006
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S A GRAY AREA, AND IT'S
29
00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:14,010
ALWAYS BEEN A GRAY AREA.
30
00:01:14,015 --> 00:01:16,005
THERE'S NO SET RULES.
31
00:01:16,012 --> 00:01:19,002
NOW, EVERYTHING --
[ LAUGHTER ]
32
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RIGHT?
33
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WHOA.
34
00:01:21,022 --> 00:01:25,012
SO, IT CAN BE -- IT CAN BE
TAKEN A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT
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WAYS, AND --
HEY, WATCH THAT, BRO, LIKE
36
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HOW FAR [COUGHS]
SO, OBVIOUSLY, THAT MADE YOU
37
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UNCOMFORTABLE.
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00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,020
[ LAUGHS ]
I FELT LIKE I JUST GOT MOLESTED,
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MAN.
40
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SO, WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT
JOBS, AND EVERY JOB HAS A
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00:01:42,013 --> 00:01:43,013
DIFFERENT APPROPRIATE ATTIRE.
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00:01:43,013 --> 00:01:46,003
SO, I'M AN ATTORNEY, AND I'M
DRESSED APPROPRIATELY.
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IF I'M NOT AN ATTORNEY,
I DON'T -- I DON'T NEED TO WEAR
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A JACKET.
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THIS IS STILL APPROPRIATE
ATTIRE.
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00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:56,023
IF THIS IS CASUAL FRIDAY, YOU
KNOW, I CAN WALK AROUND WITHOUT
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MY SHOES ON.
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ALL RIGHT?
49
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IF I'M A LIFEGUARD...
50
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,020
[ LAUGHTER ]
NIGGA
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YEAH!
52
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DO IT! DO IT!
53
00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:10,000
[ LAUGHTER ]
OH
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I'M OUT OF HERE.
55
00:02:11,002 --> 00:02:12,002
WHOA!
56
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[ ALL SCREAMING ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
57
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[ ALL TALKING ]
COME ON!
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WE'RE GOING TO YOU, BABY!
59
00:02:23,002 --> 00:02:24,022
WE'RE GOING TO YOU!
60
00:02:24,017 --> 00:02:25,017
THE FUCK IS THIS?!
61
00:02:26,001 --> 00:02:27,001
YOU GOT THEM DOLLARS?!
62
00:02:27,002 --> 00:02:29,022
SIMMER DOWN, NOW!
63
00:02:30,013 --> 00:02:31,003
DON'T COME THIS WAY!
64
00:02:31,006 --> 00:02:35,006
[ LAUGHS ]
65
00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:37,010
[ COUGHS ]
GO PUT ON SOME PANTS NIGGA
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00:02:37,015 --> 00:02:37,995
PLEASE!
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YOU'RE NOT CUTE NIGGA DAMN.
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[ ROARS ]
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♪ I LIKE CHEESE ♪
♪ I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I ♪
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♪ LI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-KE ♪
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00:02:51,011 --> 00:02:54,021
♪ CHEESE ♪
CHEESE! CHEESE! CHEESE!
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AGHHHHHHHHH! AGHHHHHHHHH!
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LOITER SQUAD.
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00:02:56,023 --> 00:02:58,023
AGHHHHHHHHH!
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MY NAME IS SAGAN.
76
00:03:04,011 --> 00:03:06,011
I SKATEBOARD.
77
00:03:06,007 --> 00:03:09,997
I READ BOOKS WHILE SITTING NEXT
TO MY GIRLFRIEND.
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00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:11,013
I LISTEN TO MUSIC.
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EVERYTHING'S GOING MY WAY, BUT
THERE'S JUST ONE THING...
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I'M PREGNANT.
81
00:03:19,007 --> 00:03:19,997
[ DING! ]
MOM, I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL
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YOU.
83
00:03:27,003 --> 00:03:28,013
WHAT IS IT, DARLING?
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I'M PREGNANT.
85
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WHAT?!
86
00:03:30,012 --> 00:03:31,012
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
87
00:03:31,016 --> 00:03:33,016
I GUESS WE JUST WEREN'T BEING
CAREFUL.
88
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RIGHT, BABY?
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00:03:35,016 --> 00:03:36,016
BABY?
90
00:03:36,019 --> 00:03:37,999
I'M PLAYING RIGHT NOW.
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00:03:38,004 --> 00:03:40,004
YOU KNOW I NEED MY "ME" TIME.
92
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,023
[ CRYING ]
WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING?
93
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000
IT'S A SHOPPING GAME.
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00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:45,013
YOU GO TO EACH MALL, AND YOU
PICK OUT YOUR FAVORITE TOP.
95
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NO WAY!
96
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,998
ON THIS LITTLE, TINY SCREEN?
97
00:03:48,004 --> 00:03:50,004
[ CRYING CONTINUES ]
WANT TO HEAR SOME JOKES
98
00:03:56,013 --> 00:03:56,023
TODAY?
99
00:03:56,022 --> 00:03:57,022
NO THANKS.
100
00:03:57,022 --> 00:03:58,012
MY LIFE IS A JOKE.
101
00:03:58,008 --> 00:04:00,008
DO YOU SEE ME?
102
00:04:00,016 --> 00:04:01,006
KNOCK, KNOCK.
103
00:04:01,012 --> 00:04:01,022
WHO'S THERE?
104
00:04:01,019 --> 00:04:02,009
ORANGE.
105
00:04:02,015 --> 00:04:04,995
ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN'T SAY
BANANAS?
106
00:04:05,004 --> 00:04:06,014
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
107
00:04:06,008 --> 00:04:10,008
AAH! AAH!
108
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[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
109
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YEAH! YES!
110
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[ LAUGHTER ]
MMM! MAN, THAT SMELLS GOOD!
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00:04:23,020 --> 00:04:25,000
HEY, WELCOME TO MUSTY BURGER.
112
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CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?
113
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UM, CAN I GET A BURGER WITH
PICKLES?
114
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YOU SURE YOU WANT PICKLES?
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00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:31,024
YES.
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[ DING! ]
117
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COMING RIGHT UP.
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SIR, YOUR ORDER'S READY.
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THANK YOU.
120
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NO PROBLEM.
121
00:04:43,004 --> 00:04:44,024
OOH, THAT'S A NICE BURGER.
122
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HAVE A GREAT DAY.
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HUH.
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PSYCHE!
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[ CHUCKLES ]
OH!
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GIVE ME YOUR MONEY.
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I DON'T HAVE ANY --
NIGGA GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!
128
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I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
129
00:04:53,018 --> 00:04:54,998
I SPENT IT ALL ON THE BURGER.
130
00:04:55,002 --> 00:04:56,022
THEN GIVE ME YOUR BURGER
NIGGA
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I'M HUNGRY, ANYWAY.
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THERE BETTER NOT BE NO
PICKLES, NEITHER NIGGA
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THERE'S NO PICKLES.
134
00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:02,021
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
135
00:05:05,023 --> 00:05:06,023
I'M SORRY.
136
00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:09,001
YOU LYING MOTHER FUCKER
I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!
137
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AH! MY HEART!
138
00:05:09,022 --> 00:05:12,022
AH! AAH!
139
00:05:12,019 --> 00:05:14,009
AAH! AAH! AAAH! AAAH!
140
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[ WHIRRING ]
WHOO!
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NO! NO! NO!
142
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NO! NO!
143
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NO! AAAAAH!
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AAAAAH!
145
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OH!
146
00:05:30,015 --> 00:05:33,015
AAAH! AAAH! AAH!
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AAAH!
148
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NIGGA, NIGGA
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NIGGA
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!
150
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I GOT [CRYING]
AAAH! AAAH! AAAAH!
151
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AAAAAH!
152
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AAAH!
153
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AAAAH!
154
00:05:50,015 --> 00:05:52,005
AAAAH-HAH!
155
00:05:52,016 --> 00:05:54,016
AAAAAAAAAH!
156
00:05:54,023 --> 00:05:58,003
FUCK I HATE MY JOB.
157
00:05:58,004 --> 00:06:00,004
FUCKING PICKLES.
158
00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:05,021
[ MEOWS ]
♪ EVERY LITTLE BIT OF MY
159
00:06:12,015 --> 00:06:20,005
HEART FOR YOU ♪
♪ FOR SO LO-O-O-O-O-NG ♪
160
00:06:20,008 --> 00:06:21,998
MY NAME IS JEFFERSON.
161
00:06:22,004 --> 00:06:25,014
UH, A COUPLE OF MY FRIENDS KNOW
ME AS PAUL.
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00:06:25,007 --> 00:06:29,017
HI, I'M TRAVIS JENNER, AND
I'M A MALE CHEERLEADER, AND I
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00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:31,001
LIKE GIRLS.
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00:06:31,004 --> 00:06:31,024
VAGINA!
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00:06:31,022 --> 00:06:34,012
[ GIGGLES ]
WHERE THE LADIES AT?
166
00:06:34,015 --> 00:06:35,015
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.
167
00:06:35,017 --> 00:06:37,007
TOO MANY Y'ALL NIGGAS UP IN
HERE.
168
00:06:37,007 --> 00:06:38,007
WHERE THE LADIES AT?
169
00:06:38,010 --> 00:06:41,010
THERE'S JUST ONE THING I
ASK -- THAT MY COMPANION LOVES
170
00:06:41,007 --> 00:06:42,017
JILL SCOTT AS MUCH AS I DO.
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00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,010
THAT SISTER COULD BLOW.
172
00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:45,022
[ CHUCKLES ]
173
00:06:46,004 --> 00:06:48,024
WHEN I MAKE LOVE TO A WOMAN,
I MAKE SURE IT'S DOPE -- SOME
174
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:52,000
GOOD MUSIC PLAYING, LIKE
GEORGE CLINTON OR SOMETHING.
175
00:06:52,004 --> 00:06:53,024
GET ON IN THERE -- GET ON OUT.
176
00:06:53,020 --> 00:07:00,020
MY IDEAL WOMAN WOULD BE VERY,
VERY HAIRY, BLUE EYES, GRAY
177
00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:07,011
SKIN, WHISKERS, WITH THE SOFTEST
LITTLE PAWS THAT I COULD JUST
178
00:07:07,016 --> 00:07:08,006
GRAB AND KISS ALL DAY.
179
00:07:12,021 --> 00:07:16,001
[ BEEPING ]
[ HEARTBEAT ]
180
00:07:16,004 --> 00:07:18,024
AND THERE'S YOUR BABY.
181
00:07:18,017 --> 00:07:19,017
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
182
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:22,001
AND HERE'S YOUR LOLLIPOP,
BUD.
183
00:07:22,003 --> 00:07:23,023
YOU DON'T HAVE CHERRY?
184
00:07:23,017 --> 00:07:24,007
OH, NO.
185
00:07:24,013 --> 00:07:27,013
YOUR GIRLFRIEND TOOK THE LAST
ONE.
186
00:07:27,008 --> 00:07:29,018
[ DING! ]
[ CRYING ]
187
00:07:29,019 --> 00:07:30,019
IT'S OKAY, BUDS.
188
00:07:31,001 --> 00:07:33,021
AT LEAST YOU DON'T HAVE
GONORRHEA.
189
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:37,001
UM...
190
00:07:37,002 --> 00:07:39,002
[ CRYING ]
[ HEARTBEAT ]
191
00:07:43,022 --> 00:07:47,022
COMING THIS SUMMER, HE'S
SHUTTING SHIT DOWN AT THE
192
00:07:47,022 --> 00:07:49,002
MALL.
193
00:07:49,005 --> 00:07:53,015
ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS MONEY AND
THE CITY THAT HE'S FROM.
194
00:07:53,022 --> 00:07:58,022
AND HE'S ON ONE.
195
00:07:59,002 --> 00:08:02,002
MY NAME IS DRAKE.
196
00:08:07,022 --> 00:08:09,022
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO OFFER TO
A WOMAN?
197
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:12,012
UH, LOOK AT THESE PEARLS THAT
I'M SELLING IF YOU INTERESTED.
198
00:08:12,014 --> 00:08:14,024
UM, LOVE, COMPASSION, AND SOME
OTHER THINGS.
199
00:08:14,017 --> 00:08:16,017
I'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK A
COUPLE OF TIMES.
200
00:08:16,018 --> 00:08:20,018
THE FUCK YOU INTO NIGGA
FUCK WHY IS THIS LIGHT SO
201
00:08:20,018 --> 00:08:21,998
BRIGHT?
202
00:08:22,004 --> 00:08:24,014
[ SIGHS ]
WHAT COLOR DID YOU -- I DON'T
203
00:08:24,011 --> 00:08:25,011
LIKE THIS COLOR.
204
00:08:25,007 --> 00:08:29,017
THIS [SIGHS] FUCK
[ SIGHS ]
205
00:08:29,019 --> 00:08:31,019
I'M NEVER GONNA FIND LOVE.
206
00:08:31,023 --> 00:08:35,023
I ALWAYS GOT CAUGHT
MASTURBATING BY PRUNE -- THAT'S
207
00:08:35,023 --> 00:08:37,023
MY THIRD-ELDEST CAT.
208
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:40,020
I JUST TURNED THE COMPUTER
SCREEN OFF AND SAID, "GET OUT OF
209
00:08:40,023 --> 00:08:41,023
HERE, PRUNE!
210
00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:43,019
GET OUT OF HERE, PRUNE!
211
00:08:43,019 --> 00:08:53,009
GET OUT OF HERE!"
MEOW.
212
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:56,015
[ LAUGHTER ]
THE JELLY -- SERIOUS.
213
00:08:56,018 --> 00:08:57,018
EYE CONTACT.
214
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,009
THERE'S JELLY.
215
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,995
TACO, THE CAMERA'S OVER HERE,
MAN.
216
00:09:01,003 --> 00:09:03,023
[ COUGHS ]
[ THUD! ]
217
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:06,010
I GOT THAT SHIT
[ LAUGHTER ]
218
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:07,022
I'M SORRY.
219
00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:09,020
YOU HAD IT COMING.
220
00:09:11,011 --> 00:09:13,021
IT IS HARD BEING 16 AND
PREGNANT.
221
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:16,010
[ POP! POP! POP! ]
MY GIRLFRIEND, CARRIE, HELPED
222
00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:21,019
WHEN SHE COULD, BUT SHE WAS SO
BUSY.
223
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,009
BABY, COULD YOU GET ME A SODA?
224
00:09:22,016 --> 00:09:25,016
[ SCOFFS ] GET IT YOURSELF.
225
00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:27,000
BUT I'M PREGNANT.
226
00:09:27,006 --> 00:09:29,016
SORRY ABOUT IT.
227
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,000
[ SLOSH! SLOSH! ]
UGH!
228
00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:35,014
WHY ARE YOU PEEING?
229
00:09:35,011 --> 00:09:37,001
MY WATER BROKE.
230
00:09:37,002 --> 00:09:38,012
UGH, DISGUSTING!
231
00:09:38,016 --> 00:09:40,996
[ CRYING ]
DON'T CRY ABOUT IT.
232
00:09:41,005 --> 00:09:42,015
GET THE MOP AND CLEAN IT UP!
233
00:09:42,019 --> 00:09:44,009
COME ON! PUSH!
234
00:09:44,013 --> 00:09:46,023
OH, MY GOD, THAT THING CAN
STRETCH!
235
00:09:46,017 --> 00:09:47,017
AAAAAAH!
236
00:09:47,017 --> 00:09:48,007
AAAAAH!
237
00:09:48,009 --> 00:09:52,999
Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
238
00:09:58,001 --> 00:09:59,021
[ FART! ]
[ COUGHS ]
239
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:00,021
AAH.
240
00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:05,001
AAAH SHIT
OH, WE LOST IT.
241
00:10:05,002 --> 00:10:06,012
DARN.
242
00:10:06,010 --> 00:10:07,010
NEXT TIME.
243
00:10:07,012 --> 00:10:09,012
NOPE, WE STILL GOT IT.
244
00:10:09,013 --> 00:10:10,013
YOU STILL GOT IT.
245
00:10:10,014 --> 00:10:11,024
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO
PUSH ONE LAST TIME.
246
00:10:11,017 --> 00:10:13,007
UH! AAAAAAAAAH!
247
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:16,016
[ SQUISH! ]
DA-DA.
248
00:10:16,017 --> 00:10:18,997
IT'S A BOY.
249
00:10:19,002 --> 00:10:20,022
WAAAH.
250
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:24,021
[ SNORING LIGHTLY ]
[ GAGGING ]
251
00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:40,023
[ COUGHING ]
[ LAUGHS ]
252
00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:43,998
[ MUTTERING ]
AAAH.
253
00:10:45,013 --> 00:10:46,023
POLTERGEIST.
254
00:10:46,023 --> 00:10:48,023
[ LAUGHTER ]
255
00:10:48,018 --> 00:10:49,008
FURBALL.
256
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:52,015
THAT WAS ALL BULLSHIT
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
257
00:10:52,023 --> 00:10:55,003
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE
THAT.
258
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:57,012
WE DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ANY OF
THIS SHIT
259
00:10:57,011 --> 00:10:58,021
HEY, THAT WAS GENIUS.
260
00:10:58,018 --> 00:11:00,998
NOW NOD YOUR HEAD WITH IT.
261
00:11:01,005 --> 00:11:03,015
NOW -- NOW SWING YOUR ARMS.
262
00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:06,008
[ LAUGHS ]
16864
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