Original subtitles

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ Best buddies, best pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

This'll stop them darn crows

from making holes in my roof.

Them bird-brained birds

aren't going to outwit this half-wit.

Uh-oh, the jinx that walks is on the loose.

Saw must be warped.

[grunt]

My car!

You poor, poor baby.

An innocent victim of the Goof Curse.

Hiya, Petey!

Watch it! Stop it!

Oh, aim that jinx the other way!

Can't hear you, Pete! Too much racket down there!

I said--

Ow.

[cawing]

Shh! Keep it down, Pete. It's them crows.

[whistling]

Whoa!

Hold still, you ornery varmint, so I can clobber you.

You-- Ow!

He's got to have a... hex on him because nobody-- Ohh!

Gets to be that--ohh!

Dumb in a single generation!

Ow-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

If there's one thing I don't like about falling off a roof,

it's the pain involved.

[screaming]

Oh, will you get off of me, you big--

-[coughing] -Come here.

You got a speck on your cheek.

Oh, you got a speck on your brain.

I'm sick and tired of you jinxing me with your Goof jinx day in and week out,

month after year!

Pete! Could you stop playing in that dirt long enough to get me some milk and eggs?

Aw, sweetbread, it's Saturday-- a day for being with your loved ones

and watching wall-to-wall football.

The store? What a coinkydink.

I got to get me some more corn for my crow trap.

Forget it! I'm not going to any store!

Peter, I have one full-time job and two full-time children.

I think you can be a little help around here.

Well--[mumbling]-- Of course, leaf mulch.

But I'm not taking the Goof!

Now, pig knuckles, I don't think it'll hurt

to be a little neighborly to our neighbor.

Be back before you can say worchestyshystershire.

Ah-hyuck!

If you can say worcestershire.

Oh, but, mutton chops, it could.

It could hurt me.

He's got a curse on him, I tell you.

Every time I go somewhere with him, something awfully awful happens.

You are not getting out of going to the store.

Got my coupons!

They'll having a sale on corn-- two free ears

when you buy five for the price of three.

Let's get one thing straight.

I am on to you.

I don't know when, and I don't know why,

but somehow one of the nuts in your family tree

got the evil eye put on him, see?

And that curse has been oozing down through the bloodline ever since.

Your father had it, you have it, and I don't want it!

Got that?

Pete's a swell kind of guy once you get past his personality.

After you.

Oh, no.

I'm not walking into one of your hexes.

You first.

[laughs]

I'm not as dumb as he looks.

Okay, now don't forget your lines, Wally.

What lines, Spud?

These, you dope.

Doorbell tuner. Ah-hyuck!

These convenience stores sure are convenient.

Ohh!

Almost created an accident there.

I saw that! You almost put the curse of the Goof on it, didn't you?

You were born under a bad sign.

Well, actually, I was born under a sign saying "please don't feed the elk."

Ah-hyuck!

You see, my mother was pregnant at the time--

Just stay away from me. Stay far, far away.

Oh. Excuse me, fellas.

[humming]

Hmm.

All right!

Make one move, and...

And...

I can't read your writing.

-Why? What's wrong with my writing? -Nothing. I just can't read.

And you with your sixth grade education.

Okay, uh, this is a holdup.

Uh, give us the cash.

Aah!

[bouncing]

Uh, he got the money!

Who got the money?

Why, he got it.

Hey, hand over the money, ya thief.

Give me a break, guys.

That's my own hardly earned cash.

Give me that. Don't you got no respect for other people's stolen property?

Come on, Wally.

184, 148,

-118-- -[Pete] Help!

That sound sounds kind of like Pete.

Help!

It is Pete.

I'm coming, Petey!

Oh! No! Anybody but you!

[grunts]

What are you doing here?

Uh, I was just leaving?

[Goofy] Don't worry, Petey, old pal!

I'll save you!

No. No. Go away!

You got a hex on you!

Oh, thanks, Pete.

Uh, you think anyone else noticed?

-[brakes screech] -Huh?

Who invited you?

Oh, please, guys, please!

As bad as things are now, they'll only get worse if I don't get away from him!

Uh, you guys got to understand, he's not like you and me.

There's something wrong with him.

-Pete? -Pete.

-You know this fella? -Of course I do.

He got a record?

Oh, sure, lots of them--

some cassettes and them CD things, too.

This his usual line of work, knocking off joints?

Oh, no. Petey deals in cars.

Uh-huh. Car thief, too.

Looks like we've got our man.

Be on the lookout for suspect.

Medium height, above medium weight. Goes by the name of Pete.

W-Wait a sec.

Pete, he doesn't--

Hey!

Peg, I got some good news and some bad news.

Oh, what's the bad news?

Pete's been shanghaied by hideous, bloodthirsty thugs,

and the police think he robbed a store.

What's the good news?

He's wearing his sweater.

Uh, Goofy, you have to do something.

Well, I would, but I can't because Pete told me not to.

B-But this is a matter of life and death!

You're right. I'll bring him back in one piece.

Two if I'm lucky.

[door opens, closes]

[Spud] It was your turn to gas up the car.

I just assumed that you did it.

I gave you the cash.

I said to you, "go put cash in the tank."

I didn't know that was for gas.

What did you do, go buy candy?

What am I, a mind reader?

[Pete] Oh, if I'd known I was going to spend seven hours

locked in a trunk--[grunt]--

I wouldn't have had that second helping of broccoli bean casserole.

Car trouble?

Uh, no. W-We're fine.

Just admiring the-- the scenery.

Say, haven't we met?

Akron, right?

What's the matter, you out of gas?

-Yes. -No.

-Uh, no. -No.

It's a gas guzzler.

Yeah, gas-guzzling car.

Yeah, a big one. Big engine, yeah.

Oh, don't you folks worry none.

I'll be right back.

[both] Whew!

Got a gas can?

[Pete] Speaking of gas, maybe there's one in the trunk.

Uh, how's that?

No. No gas can.

I know. I'll give you a push.

Uh, uh, uh, no, no. It's too much trouble.

Aw, nothing's too much trouble for friends I haven't seen in ages.

Hmm. There's got to be a station in the next hundred miles or so.

Hold on a sec!

I'm gonna need a running start!

[both] Whoa!

Ah-hyuck! Just a little dent.

Hmm. Must be one of them do-it-yourself kind of self-service places.

Let me gas her up for you.

You boys ought to get this car checked out from top to bottom.

It's a long way back to Ohio, you know.

Uh, no sweat.

It's still under warranty.

Yeah. Thanks anyway.

Hey, you been real kind.

Hmm. Gonna have to change this oil here. This filter's dirtier than my socks.

Carburetor's kind of dehydrated. Fan belt's floppy,

these spark plugs lost their spark, and these hub caps here--

Well, that ought to do it.

Have a safe trip!

Uh-oh. Forgot to put the transmission back in.

Hey, fellers, wait!

[gas pump still running]

[woman on TV] The dreaded criminal kingpinknown as Pete

has struck again, stepping up his reign of terror

and tightening Spoonerville in his grip of fear.

If you have any information

leading to the arrest of this vicious gangster,

you may be eligible to collect the reward of $50,000.

[Wally] What comes next, Spud?

Now, look, boys,

I know you're dirt-stupid, so let me help you out a skosh.

Any crook worth his salt knows what the next step is.

[both] Yeah?

-You call the guy's wife-- -Yes? Yes?

...and tell him where you're holding him.

[both] No!

Yeah.

[ringing]

Uh, hello?

[gasp] It's the Pete-nappers.

Better let me handle this, Peg.

[crash]

Ah-hyuck! Can I help you?

Uh-huh. You got Pete.

Uh-huh. Hmm. I see.

What are you, holding him for rancid or something?

Uh, what's rancid?

Uh, why, that's there when you make a guy's family

pay money to get him back.

Uh, how much money?

Oh, I don't know. With somebody like Petey, he's be worth a lot.

Well, how's, uh, $10,000?

Hmm. Make it 15 and you got yourself a deal.

Okey-doke. 13 shady pass road.

Hey. How do I know you really got Petey?

I'm not gonna let any crooks pull the wool our of my eyes.

What do you say, uh, send me an ear just so I'll know it's got sure?

He wants we should send him your ear.

What?

Give me that!

Listen up, you jinx-infested, single-digit I.Q.,

low-riding, half-stepping, dipstick, lame-brained, block-headed--

sounds like Pete.

How do I know you're not some kind of Pete-impersonating imposterator?

[burbling]

Yep. It's Pete, all right.

Don't worry, Pete.

I'll have you out of there in no time flat as the crow flies.

[Pete] No. No. Not you. Don't--

We have to call the police.

But they think Pete's the one behind all this.

I'm gonna clear Pete's name, even if I have to drag it through the mud.

Ah-hyuck! Besides, I got a foolproof plan that's guaranteed to work 50% of the time.

Uh-uh. And what exactly is your plan?

Meatloaf.

Meatloaf! Of course. Ha ha!

Why didn't I think of that?

Operator, could you get me the police, please?

It's an old family recipe that I got from an old family.

Where do you keep the worchestershestershire sauce?

There's nobody nowhere no how who can eat this meatloaf

without taking a good hour's nap when they're done.

That'll give me plenty of time to rescue Pete.

Heh heh heh.

Think of it, Wally. $15,000. Of course, that's before taxes.

[Goofy] Meatloaf man!

Huh? Well, who ordered meatloaf?

Not I.

Wasn't me.

I can't stand meatloaf.

But that's never stopped me before, so let's eat.

Here's a coupon for half off your next order.

Get it while it's still meatloaf, boys.

[snoring]

I'll get you out of here, Pete.

[grunt] Didn't I tell you never to come near me?

Yeah. I guess you did.

Well, so long, Pete.

Untie me first, you Goof, and then go somewhere far, far away.

it's a good thing I took knot-tying classes in school.

Just too bad I failed them.

Oh, gee, what a surprise.

Hurry up, will you?

Hmm. Must be one of them sheepshank granny knots.

Hold on. I think I--got it.

Well, no, I don't suppose that's it.

[yawn] What that?

[sniff] Uh, meatloaf.

Uh, better move to plan B.

I got to get away before the Goof Curse hits.

I made it. I made it. I'm free!

Free as a bird!

Pete! Say something, Pete!

Speak to me, Petey.

[mumbling] ...Cream 'em.

How's that?

Uh, get off of my stomach, lame brain!

I can't breathe!

Sorry, Pete.

[footsteps]

Looks like we got ourselves another hostage, Wally.

Ah, just when a guy thinks he's been jinxed

as bad as he'll ever be jinxed, you go and top yourself.

All right, we're not fooling around no more.

We want money by midnight or else.

Heh heh. Not bad, huh?

Heard it on the late-late show.

Aw. But, fellas, I got no money.

[sniffle] Sniff. Why, I'm all poverty-struck

and destituted up something fierce.

And--and, uh, and I got 22 kids and 15 little kitty cats,

12 dogs, ten parakeets.

[whimpering]

I can barely make it!

[sobbing]

Gawrsh, Pete, I never knew.

[sniff]

Seeing as you got that giant big house, that boat, that--that fancy car,

I never would have thought you needed money.

Oh. Trying to pull a fast one, huh?

Tell us where you live, and we'll go get your dough ourselves.

Forget it!

-Tell us where your friend lives. -Keep your yap shut, Goof.

Don't worry, Pete.

They won't get it out of me, no matter what.

I'll tell you where I live. You can Rob me.

But I'll never ever tell you where my next door neighbor Pete lives.

All right. All right, Peg.

Just stay calm. I mean, Goofy's on the case.

What can possibly do wrong?

I'd better get help.

What's the idea of throwing banana peels on my floor?

Somebody could slip and fall and--and-- the Goof Curse. Of course!

I'm sorry, Pete.

I'll try and do better.

Oh, that's okay, Goofer.

Don't go changing yourself on account of my account.

Let Goofy be Goofy. Ha ha! That's my motto.

But I thought that--

Aah!

Yaah!

Let's get out of here!

[Spud] There they are.

[whistling]

Other way!

Run for your life!

Aah!

Whoa!

[wailing]

I gotcha now.

[Pete quivering]

Heh heh heh. I know you're in there.

Stand back, or I'll--

Hold on a second. It's them crows.

Yaah!

Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ow!

Hold still, you ornery varmints.

Help!

Yaah!

Yow!

Aah!

Oh, whoopsie.

Yahoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooey!

You did it, Goofer!

-You jinxed them real good! -[police car approaches]

[gasp] Pete!

Peg!

Pumpkin Lips! How'd you know I was gonna be here?

It's ten minutes till dinner.

And no force in the universe can make you miss a meal.

You're under arrest.

Now, now, now, look here, officer, I had nothing to do with it, I tell you.

It was that jinxing Goof who--

Pete, you just collared two of the most wanted crooks in the country.

Congratulations.

I--I--

Well, sure I did,

single-handedly, by myself, and alone, too.

Well, Danielle, it was like this.

I kept on telling myself, "Pete, you big hero of a citizen,

you got to save that dumb Goof." So I lured the crooks back to my house,

and pow, bang, zoomy, they didn't have a chance.

Oh, bushy brow, if it wasn't for Goofy,

you'd still be out there tied and gagged.

Hmm, well, he maybe helped a little.

I hope this will put an end to all that jinx talk.

Oh, but you're wrong.

I tell you, Fuzz Cup, that guy has a jinx to end all jinxes.

Oh, Pete, if I really believed that,

would I ask him to light the furnace for me?

Well, I suppo-- you what?

[Goofy humming]

Hmm. Wonder what this little knobby does.

Why doesn't anybody ever believe me?

Nobody ever believes me.

And--and I can't--and I--

Ohh.

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!