Original subtitles

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ There's buddies There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

Wake up, Pete!

Clang the cymbals, already!

Lame-brain!

What's wrong with you?

[clamoring]

[echoing] No!

No!

Oh, are you having that same dream again, Tofu Tummy?

[gasping] Yeah, pudding.

And they were playing [gulps] that song.

Oh, you mean "When the Saints Go--"

Oh, I'm sorry, bunny feet.

I lost my head there.

I'm fine now.

[knocking]

Hiya, Peg.

Ah-hyuck! Nice jammies.

Uh, thank you, Goofy.

Doing your morning exercises there, Petey?

Never mind what I'm doing.

What are you doing in my bedroom?

Oh, just came in to get you for the big annual Spoonerville auction.

Give me one reason why I'd want to go anywhere with you, you big Goof.

Ah-hyuck, because I've got a couple of tickeys

good for free admission

plus complimentary double chili onion cheese dogs.

Oh, come to think of it, I do need to pick up

a couple of auction items for my up-coming car sale.

Could use some seat covers to hide the holes in the upholstery.

-[ceiling cracking] -And a few... huh?

Better hurry, don't want to be late for all the good bargains.

Whoa!

-[screaming] -[crashing]

That's my Petey. Always the early worm.

Five dollars going once, five dollars going twice.

[audience murmuring]

Sold for five dollars!

Petey, look what I bought.

Itchy powder.

Just what I need for my flower society fun-raiser.

That's fundraiser, not fun-raiser.

Oh...

Next up, we have a locked trunk.

Even I don't know what's inside. It could be anything.

Gawrsh, just what I always wanted.

Will you get that stuff away from me?

Woopsie.

Nice catch, Petey. Rescued my itchy powder.

Now look what you did, ya...

Itching powder?

[grumbling]

What's a matter, Petey, didn't you take a shower this morning?

Let's open the bidding at five dollars, do I hear five dollars?

I have five dollars, do I hear 10?

I have 10, do I hear 20? I have 20.

Do I hear 50? I have 50. Do I hear 70? 70? 100? 100?

200? 300? 400? 500? 600?

Gawrsh, somebody sure must want that trunk awfully bad.

Eeh, eeh, ahh, ahh!

Oof!

Going once, going twice.

Sold to the fat guy with the hygiene problem.

Huh?

Well, congratulations, Petey. Didn't even know you was bidding.

Got to look at the bright side,

this thing could be filled with all sorts of valuables,

like gold or silver.

Or them little cocktail wieners.

Stand back, Goof, this ain't gonna be pretty.

But, Petey...

Goof!

I said to stand back!

[grunts]

[stammering]

Ouch!

There's more than one way to skin a trunk, I always say.

But, Petey, wouldn't it be easier to--

Back off, Goof, I'll crack that nutty case open.

[tires squeal]

Ow.

This dynamite should do a real bang-up job.

But, Petey!

Stand clear, Goof.

She's about to blow.

[explosion]

Petey, what I've been trying to tell you is,

I got an idea how to open the trunk.

[chuckles]

So, tell me, Goofy, what's your brilliant idea?

You can try using the key.

-[muttering] -Ooh, I'm gonna use the key.

Gimme that!

Uh, Goof, I think it's alive.

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

Gawrsh!

Heard of a Jack-in-the-box, but never a band-in-a-box.

Congratulations, Petey.

This is a zillion times better than 20 truckloads of itching powder.

It's that song!

Yeah, it's a real toe-tapper, too. You sure are a lucky guy, Petey.

[grunts]

[sighs]

Wa-hoo-hoo!

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

Ah-hyuck!

Gawrsh, Petey, never knew you was so musically declined.

You come here! You get back over here! I got you now!

Get back here!

[grunts]

[grumbling]

Here you go, Goof.

Since you're so fond of this trunk full of noise,

you can have it.

A gift from me to you.

At my cost, plus 50% profit, and $10 non-refundable bookkeeping fee.

You don't mind, do you? Thanks.

[sniffs]

I don't know what to say, Petey. You're generous to a default.

Phew.

Maxy, we got to start getting this place cleaned up

for my flower society fundraiser.

I got a better idea, Dad.

A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three!

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

Go to it, guys!

A-do-do-do, a-one, a-two, a buckle my shoe.

a-three, a-floor, a-sweep that floor.

[vacuum starts]

Well, look at that.

Ah-yuck, that's neat! [chuckles]

Getting that crazy beat.

These fellers are the cats pajamas, 23-skidoo!

23-skidoo?

Try totally awesome to the Max!

Yeah, they even do winders.

Slap me four, hep-cat.

And the best part is, they work for a song.

[laughs]

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

[dog barking]

[rooster crows]

Don't know how much longer I can take this.

[clapping]

I think the music's kind of cool, Daddy.

Yeah, Pop, pretty happening tune for an oldie.

[whistles "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

Whistle that tune again and you'll be needing orthopaedic lips.

Pete, stop that.

Boy, Pop, maybe you should switch to decaf, huh?

Why does that song bother you so much, Daddy?

Bother me? It's, uh... It's nothing, I'm fine.

Never better! Think I'll give myself a root canal.

[banging]

Pete, what are you doing?

Ah... I gotta stop the music.

I gotta stop the music! I gotta stop the music!

But sweet pea, there's no music playing.

[clock ticking]

Oh, no, now the music's inside my head.

Why didn't I think of this before?

This bathroom's practically soundproofed.

As long as I stay in here,

I won't have to hear that horrible song ever again.

[humming]

[humming "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

What? Now I'm humming it.

I gotta get rid of that band for once and forever!

-[Goofy] Good night, Max. -[Max] Good night, Pop.

Now, you fellers, sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugles bite. Ah-hyuck!

Sleep tight, eh? Oh, well, we'll see about that.

[doorknob rattles]

Locked. What's this world coming to?

Ooh. [gasps]

Getting so a guy can't sneak into his neighbours house

without hurting himself.

Well, according to my miscalculations, that trunks right above me.

Uh-oh.

[shouting]

If I can't get him underhanded, I'll just get him from overhead.

Ha, ha, ha!

[sighs] Mighty chilly for this time of year.

[playing "when the Saints Go Marching In"]

Time for face the music, you two-bit tin-whistles,

and say goodbye to the Goof. Pete's the maestro now.

["When the Saints Go Marching In" playing]

[Pete] Oh, no, you don't!

Ah...

Hello, silence, my old friend.

Now, how am I gonna get rid of these cut-rate coronets?

Pete-ums, is that you?

Oh, yes, honey bun. Just me, nobody else. All alone.

Um, would you mind dropping these letters off at the post office?

The where? Oh, the post office.

Well, of course, what a terrifical idea!

[laughs]

You're up to something. I don't want to hear about it.

It's too early.

[tires squeal]

Where to, bud?

Send it to the North Pole, and fast.

Right.

I'll put it in our speedy delivery box.

-[alarm rings] -Break time.

[groans]

[birds twittering]

Ah... finally.

A little peace and quietude.

-[doorbell rings] -Very little.

Return to sender? Postage due?

No, no, no!

[Max] Dad, wake up! Listen!

Ah, I don't hear anything, Maxy.

Exactly. The band's missing.

Hmm, maybe they're hiding. We'll look high and low for them.

I'll take high, you take low.

Nope, not under here.

Or up here.

Or here.

Whoa!

Or here.

Yow!

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

Face looks familiar, but I can't place the tune.

Hate to put a damper on things, you chrome covered kazoos,

but the only tune you'll be playing from now on is "anchors aweigh!"

[laughs]

Ah. My favourite key.

Deep sea.

[laughs]

And now to celebrate being rid of them mangy Mozarts.

Ah, here we go, your order, sir,

the catch du jour, giant baked clam.

Voila!

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

[screams]

Will you be having any desert today, sir?

[Peg] Children, what's that noise?

You're not destroying my living room, are you?

It's not us, Mom. It's coming from in there.

[crash]

[gasps]

It could be Santa!

In July?

Maybe he wanted to get an early start this year.

Oof!

Somehow, I pictured him differently.

Goofy, what are you doing in our chimney?

Oh... falling, mostly. I was looking for my band.

I woke up this morning and they was gone.

Hmm. I smell a rat.

No more Mr. Nice Pete.

This time, you boys are going down for the count.

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

Hope you know how to play b-flat.

Heh, heh, 'cause you're gonna be very flat in a couple of seconds!

[laughs]

Or maybe you can work up a fast version of "the Flight of the Bumblebee"!

[laughs]

[sighs] Now that I've put the diminuendo on them brass-covered bed bugs,

I can finally get me some shuteye.

Hey, what are you guys looking at?

Did someone put a "kick me" sign on my back again?

What you did was low, sneaky, and underhanded.

Even for you.

I didn't do it!

What didn't I do?

Goofy's band is missing.

What did you do with them, Petey?

We have ways of making you talk.

So you immediately jump to the contusion that I took 'em?

Well, we just thought...

What, what did you just thought?

That I stole them poor little wretches and threw 'em out of a plane?

-What's he talking about? -I don't think I need to here this.

You know, that really hurts.

Well... maybe we were a little hasty to judge you.

Will you accept our apology, Petey?

Well, I... I don't know.

-[air whistling] -I'll have to think about it.

[crash]

[grunts]

Apology accepted.

This is the lowest you've ever stooped.

Now, Peg, you're not being fair.

Thanks, Goofer.

Petey's stooped much lower than this. Hundreds of times. Thousands of times.

Yeah, remember the incident with the hairless monkey?

Well, yeah, I remember that.

I thought we agreed never to bring that up again.

Pete, you've been acting very strange. Even for you.

And I want to know what's going on!

Going on? Nothing's going on, pudding lips.

They why do you flip out every time you hear

"When the Saints Go Marching In"?

[whimpers]

I don't know what she's talking about.

Hit it!

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

[babbling]

OK, Pete-ums, either spill the beans, or I have the band do an encore.

No, please, I'll talk! Just no more of that song.

I guess it all started when I was 10

and I joined the Spoonerville Elementary School Band.

I was assigned to play the cymbals.

Whoa!

I practiced "Day and Night", and "Night and Day",

and plenty of other songs, too.

[crash]

Took some doing to get the hang of them. But I got pretty good.

Whoa!

Then came the day of the big Spoonerville homecoming concert.

We were playing... that song.

I had practiced for months,

but standing up there in the spotlight, with all those eyes on me...

[crowd murmuring]

I froze! I couldn't clang!

My world had come to a crashing end.

-[booing] -My classmates started calling me...

-Lamebrain! -Lamebrain!

[repeating "Lamebrain"]

[Pete sobs]

Never again could I listen to that song!

On account of because it reminded me

of man's inhumanity to Pete!

[sobs]

Anybody got a hankie?

[cries]

Be my guest, Petey.

[blows nose]

Oh, now, now, sugar muffin. You'll be all right.

We all love you.

Yeah, Pop, we're behind you all the way.

Thanks, guys.

Pete-ums, you've finally admitted your problem

after all these years.

Do you realize what this means?

That I'm cured?

No, now you have to confront your fear face to face.

I do?

[crowd chattering]

[man] Welcome to the Annual Spoonerville Homecoming Concert,

being held this year at Pete's Used Car lot.

And now, to begin the festivities,

our very own Spoonerville Elementary School Band,

featuring a special guest on the cymbals,

Pete.

[crowd gasps]

Remember what happened the last time?

Let's just go, there's no point.

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

[swallows]

[cheering]

Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

-That's my Petey-pie! -You're so good!

Bravo, Petey!

Yo, Peg, I did it!

[playing "When the Saints Go Marching In"]

[laughing]

Clang, clang!

I'm marching now!

Oh!

Oh, boy!

[gasps]

Having that same dream again, dear?

[sighs]

It's always the same!

The fat guy clanging his cymbals, and then he's got me...

He's got me and these other instruments locked up in a trunk,

and he's got this dumb neighbor.

Oh, you've heard it all before!

You know the story! I know the story!

[screams]

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!