Original subtitles

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ There's buddies There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[dog barking]

[Pete] Easy. Easy does it.

Don't choke now. This is gonna be terrifical.

Wait'll the spuds at the rod and reel club see me in action this year.

Bull's-eye! That trophy for casting is in the bag.

Pete is just another word for perfection.

Well, ain't this just ducky.

-[Goofy] Go for it, Waffles! -[shrieking]

What the-- whoa! Hey! Ouch!

Watch those claws, you hairball!

-[meows] -Let me out of here!

[Goofy] You OK, Petey?

What do you think you're doin'?

Oh, well, I was teachin' Waffles to catch a frisbee in his mouth.

[angry mumbling]

He wasn't too handy with the shot put, so I figured--

Uh, say, Pete-- isn't dancing around on top

Of a ladder like that kind of dangerous?

-Whoa! -hang on, Petey!

Whoa!

Get me down, you goofball!

-[tires screech] -[horn honks]

[horns honking]

[dings]

[Pete] Oh!

[tires screech]

[horn honks]

-[crash] -Oh, my gawrsh!

I'll get you down, Petey!

But I think I'll need a longer ladder!

Ah-hyuck!

-Wha-ha-hoo! -[crash]

[mumbled cursing]

Goof! What?

Do something, you spud!

Whoa!

[crash]

Oh, I think I sprained my back pockets.

You're lucky the ground broke your fall.

You know the thing I like best about you, Goofy?

-No. What? -Your absence!

I oughta tie your ears in a knot

and wind you up and--

[Peg] Can you two male beasts

stop marking territory for a moment

and cut the rest of us a little slack?

-But, turtle-toes, he-- -Hush, Peter.

I'm teaching puppy some tricks.

You oughta try that, Petey.

Pets are a great way to keep calm.

Pets are only good for keeping your feet warm

and blaming your mistakes on.

[laughs] We're talking about dogs and cats, Peter, not husbands!

Now, pipe down and watch puppy fetch the paper.

All right, puppy! Let's show Daddy what you can do!

I know what that mutt could do,

and one newspaper ain't nearly enough

for cleaning it up.

[grrr]

Ooh! That's my little poopsy puppy-face!

Would you look at this? I need a pair of tongs.

Well, she saved you a lot of reading time.

Oh, yeah.

And she fetched the most boring part of the paper.

Ha!

What is it, Petey, double coupons?

"Do you know these men?

Information sought in gigantic manhunt."

Hmm. You know, one of these guys looks kinda familiar.

Why, Goofy, that's you and Peter!

Told ya I knew one! Ah-hyuck!

Take cover. They've finally come to get me.

Who's come to get you? For what?

How do I know? I can't remember all the shady deals I've pulled.

They wouldn't be after me if they thought I did something right, would they?

Then tell us, Dr. Einstein,

why would they want Goofy, too?

Because everybody knows he knows me

and is too stupid to keep a secret.

Uh, what secret?

I'll tell you what secret! I don't know what secret!

And if I did know, I wouldn't tell you 'cause you couldn't keep it!

[both] Oh, that secret.

I can feel it already. Eyes everywhere.

In every closet! Under every bed! On every potato!

The sense of being watched every minute of every day and every night!

Ooh! Life on the run's not gonna be easy.

I better travel light.

Bye, diesel-doll.

The less you know, the better.

Well, nobody'll recognize me in these babies.

Hard to see with these things at night, though.

-[both grunt] -[crashing]

What do you think you're doing?

Sorry, Pete. It's kind of hard to see with these things on.

Only a goofball would wear these things after dark.

Oh, I couldn't sleep, Petey,

Knowing that I'm a wanted criminal.

You and I have to talk. Hey!

What are you doing?

I'm going on the run, underground, on the lam, see?

-And you're going with me. -You want me to come with you?

Ah-hyuck! It'll be like one of them on-the-road buddy movies.

Yeah. It'll be worth it to make sure you keep your yap shut about me.

Thanks, Pete.

You won't regret this.

[crash]

I already do.

[siren]

In here, quick!

Petey, look! Ah-hyuck! We're on tv!

[exclaims] why don't you just wear a big

"here we are, come and get us" sign around your neck?

Oh! Ah-hyuck!

Oh! Oh! Whoa!

Sorry, Pete. Stardom's a hard habit to kick.

All right, now, our next stop is the survival store for supplies.

Just try not to extract any attention to yourself.

Got it. Roger.

[alarm blares]

Uh... It wasn't me! It was the goof!

Congratulations! You are our one millionth customer!

-Ooh... -[crash]

Gawrsh!

You've just won a year's supply

of cured rattlesnake meat.

What do you think of that, soldier?

Ah-hyuck! Gawrsh! A whole year! That's great!

Isn't that great, Pete?

Uh. Pete? Pete?

Pete? Pete?

[chomping]

Oh, relax, Pete, and have some of this jerky.

[rattling]

Gotta careful of these things, though.

-Yuck! -[doorbell rings]

Hello?

[both] Sir, I'm afraid you'll have to come with me.

Uh, which one of me do you want us to go with?

No, I'm not ready to go! I'm too young!

I've never been to Disneyland!

Take him! He's the one you want!

[both] You're right. He is the one we want.

[gulps] Gawrsh, fellers, can't we talk this over?

Relax. You're getting an inheritance, not the electric chair.

Huh? An inheritance?

An inheritance, eh?

[knock on door]

Yes. Come in. Come in.

[fumbling with door]

Turn and push.

[thudding]

Thanks. Ah-hyuck!

Whoops!

-Whoa! -[thud]

-Sorry! Whoa! -[crash]

-Whoa! -[crash]

Uh, pleased to-- Oh!

-Pleased to meet ya. -You know, I'd feel better

about bequeathing you the inheritance

if your senior sibling

was with you, or present, as we say.

Gawrsh! I never been queathed before.

What's a sibling anyway?

-Your brother. -Ah-hyuck! My brother?

[man] Yes, your brother.

Do I really want to pretend to be that dipstick's brother

for mere monetary compensation?

You bet your earlobes I do.

Oh, baby brother!

-Where have you been all day? -Pete?

It's unlike you to wander off like that.

It's not?

He's not heavy. He's my brother.

Ahh! Wait a minute.

-How do I know you're his brother? -Yeah!

Would you claim to be this goof's brother if it wasn't absolutely true?

[both] He's your brother, all right.

So, what do we get?

[Pete] Ga-ha-aah...

Gawrsh!

Ahh, yes. There it is.

I just can't believe this.

[choking] Me, neither.

Yes, it's all yours--

Your very own rent-a-pet service.

I just love-- what?

Wh-wh-what about the mansion, the pool,

the stable, the-the cars?

Oh, well, that's not part of the will.

You mean you thought that-- Ha ha ha ha!

You thought that the pool--

Oh, my!

Ah-hyuck! Oh, what kind of pets are they?

Uh, uh, beautiful exotic pets.

-Yes, that's it-- exotic. -Exotic, exmotic!

I don't care how fancy they are,

they ain't worth the cost of cleaning up after.

Well, that's not true in this case.

In fact, the owner of this estate

is quite an eccentric, finds them so intriguing

he pays a lot of money to have them around most of the year.

Yeah? You mean it's like we're collecting, oh, say, rent?

Ha ha ha ha. Exactly.

So wha... what's the van for, to carry the money?

Oh, no, no, no, no, it's for you to take the pets away.

But--But you just said it's--

It's the time of year your client--

And by the way, your only client--

goes on vacation.

Don't worry. The rich guy should be back next spring.

[chuckles] Have fun!

-Next... spring? -Bye! Thanks!

Thanks? Thanks?

You goof! Don't you realize we've just been saddled

with a bunch of freeloadin' animules?

Oh, come on, Petey. Don't be such a party pooper.

Everybody likes pets.

Oh, yeah... yeah. That's it.

We'll just pawn off these critters

on some other soft-hearted slob

and we make a few simoleons at the same time.

[laughing]

That's not exactly what I meant, Petey.

Whoa.

-[crash] -gangway!

Let's see what sort of hairballs we got here.

Ha. The fluffier they are, the more we can charge for 'em.

[laughing]

Aah!

[shouting]

Ha ha! Stop that!

It's no fair tickling, you refugee from a sushi-bar.

Gawrsh, it's an octi-- uh...

An oscarpete... A tarantula!

This ain't no tarendoolie!

It's an octaprese--

Just call captain Nemo or something, will you, please?

Now, don't panic, Petey. The little feller's just glad to see you.

Wonder what else we got in here?

Oh, hey, there, little guy.

-[crunch] -Ouchie!

I can see where it's easy to get attached to these guys.

Ah-hyuck!

I can't wait to get 'em home and see what else we've got.

There isn't a jury in the world that would convict me.

[Peg] Wha-- I don't believe this.

Are you trying to tell me that these are our new pets?

An octopus? A lobster?

[growling]

[yelping]

Ooh... I just love this little oozy,

drippy, sticky, little baby-thingy.

[Peg] A slug who thinks he's a puppy...

and an oyster who's father must have been a satellite dish.

-Radical! -Awesome!

You kids, be careful!

Yeah, don't hurt 'em till we can sell 'em.

But, Pete, they're our responsibility.

We're supposed to take care of them.

Look, little brother,

They don't mean nothing to me but money in the bank.

So don't get too fond of them.

Now, now, now, if compassion was perfume,

you couldn't smell Peter through a barbed-wire fence.

-[Max] Put it up! Shoot! -[P.J.] Come on, man! Go for it!

[both] all right!

3-pointer!

-Hey, try another shot, smiley. -[slurps]

[both] Whoo-hoo!

-[Pete] What's goin' on here? -Uh, we're shooting baskets, sir.

Yeah, he can only dribble on the ball,

but never misses a free throw.

If this guy grows pearls as well as he plays basketball,

huh, we're set for life.

Pearls? I never thought of that.

You spuds stop teasin' that oyster.

He's only a poor, dumb critter, you know.

-OK, Mr. P. -Yes, sir.

OK, shell face, open 'er up.

[raspberry]

I said...

Open!

Errr...

Gotcha!

Whoa!

Hey! Let-- lemme outta here!

Eww! It's disgusting!

-Aah! -Yuck!

OK, buster, you're asking for it.

No mother-of-pearl shellfish is going to get the best of me, see?

-[munching] -Hey! You give that back!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Hee hee hee!

All right, crustacean.

No more Mr. Sweetness and Light.

Chew on this, clam head.

[clam] P-tui!

[laughs] I'll show that hard case what a fish fry's all about.

Ha ha ha ha!

[coughs] There's only one thing left to do.

[thud]

Exotic aminals for sale!

Buy one get two free!

I'll give 50 cents for that cat.

-What cat? -That cat.

-[meows] -[Pete] Sold!

Hey, that's my cat! Give me my cat!

-It's my cat! -Give it here!

[overlapping shouts]

[woman] Oh, keep the mangy old thing.

-[Goofy] Whoa! -[crash]

Hey! You forgot your two complimenterary pets!

Pete, what do you think you're doin'?

I'm sick and tired of these mangy critters.

Pete, you can't just sell these guys. They're our friends.

Well, then you better find your friends a new home,

because yours truly ain't footin' the bill anymore!

I've had all I can take!

The sooner we get rid of those troublemakers, the better.

I don't know why we ever got into this mess in the first place.

[both] You wanted money.

All right, all right. All right, all right

I'm not perfect, you know, but I'm close.

About as close as left is to right.

[chuckles]

I heard that.

Yeah? Well, then hear this, big shot!

You were the one who went out of his way to claim these poor creatures.

So you're the one who's going to take good care of them... or else!

[stammers] Sure, sweetums.

Of course, pumpkin lips.

-Whatever you say. -[vehicle engine starting]

Will ya look at that? They're leavin'.

Fellers, wait!

Let's talk this over!

All I can say is good riddance!

Peter, you can't just let them drive away like that!

Oh, but snuggle-bunny, why should I interfere

with those poor little critters' pursuit of happiness? Hmm-mm-hmm.

Can you think of one good reason?

[car approaching]

Yaah! -[tires screech]

Hey! Why don't you nectarines look where you're goin'?

[car door opens, slams]

Gawrsh, I'm sure sorry about that.

Didn't mean to scare you. [chuckles]

I don't believe what I'm seeing.

Don't apologize to this spud.

Oh, mama, say it ain't so.

Hey, let go of me, you goof.

[yelling]

Listen, dipstick, you've got our animals.

We want 'em back tonight!

And if they ain't here, or if you haven't treated 'em right,

We'll sue you down to your long johns, see?

Uh, uh, uh, yes, sir.

Come on, ya goof, let's vamoose.

Okey-dokey.

[car door slams]

Nice to have met you folks.

Ha ha ha hoooey!

tires screech]

Who was that funny-looking guy?

I'll tell you who he was.

He was my worst nightmare come true.

The onlyest thing worse could be three of you.

Now, stop standing around yakking!

We gotta get them animals back!

[chuckles] Don't you just love this?

[seagulls squawking]

[car stops]

What makes you think they came down here, goofster?

Well, when you don't want me around, I go home.

Most folks are the same.

These little guys are fishies. Home's water to 'em.

Well, then what are we waitin' for?

-Oh, there they are! -They're headed out to sea!

Pete, wa-wait!

You-You forgot to untie the boat, see?

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Where do you sea-turnips think you're goin'?

Aah!

Uhh!

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!

Goofster, you're as big a pain as that school of brain food.

If you want these guys to come back,

you're gonna have to sweet-talk them a little.

Sweet talk 'em? Are you out of your miniature mind?

I'll never say please to a bunch of ornery entrees.

Oh, my gawrsh! Petey!

Help! Pl-pl-pl-please!

Save me-e-e-e-e!

[gurgling] Charge!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Hiya, fellers!

Wow!

Oh!

Help...

[panting]

What do you have to say now, Petey?

Thanks. Ooh...

-[Pistol] Bye-bye! -Good-bye!

-See you! -See ya!

-Bye-bye! -Bye-bye!

Enjoy 'em in good health...

If you can stand the smell.

Well, I'm glad that's over.

Oh, I don't know, I kind of miss the little guys.

I do have one question, Pete.

Spit it out.

Uh, Pete, if I'm your brother,

how come I'm never invited to the family reunions?

Never invi-- uh, goofster,

there's something I think you missed.

What is it there, big brother?

[mumbling]

Good night.

Night, Pete.

Oh, brother.

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!