Original subtitles

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

-Yes! -Yes!

♪ There's buddies, there's pals ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You always seem To work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see You're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

-[crash] -Don't like the sound of that.

Not my Swiss Army hedge clipper!

-[bell ringing] -Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cu-ckoo!

[coughs]

Oh, it's gonna cost me a fortune to replace.

[crash]

No, it's gonna cost the Goof a fortune.

He'll think he did it and buy me a new one.

Sometimes I'm so rotten, I give me goose bumps.

[humming tune]

Gawrsh! Petey's Swiss Army hedge clipper.

He's gonna be awful upset about this.

And it's all my fault.

Least I can do is write my pal a letter

telling how sorry I am.

Dear Pete... How many rs in "Pete"?

Ah-hyuck! I'll write it sloppy so the spellin' won't show.

[snaps]

Pencil ran out of gas.

The rest of them are... Unleaded. Hyuck!

Some of these magazine letters ought to do the trick.

[humming tune]

"I'm going to get ya a new hedge clipper.

Sorry, Goofy." Ah-hyuck!

Now, that's what I call a pretty sorry-lookin' letter.

Ah-hyuck! But then, I'm pretty sorry.

Well, now what you need's a new car.

This old heap's fallin' apart.

How much can I get for it on trade-in?

Well, let's see.

Adjustin' for inflation, deflation, pilferization,

confutation, and vegetation, I'd say about...

[bell dings]

two cents.

I can't believe it!

This car is mine for only $1,000?

Yep. Guess that's why they call me pushover Pete.

[car backfiring]

[car backfiring]

[tires squeal]

[cash register dings]

Bye!

Sucker. [laughing]

Another dissatisfied customer.

Hope Petey doesn't see me.

I can't face him knowing how I ruined his hedge clipper.

Better not be the better business bureau again!

[reading aloud]

Get me? Must be some kind of joke.

Who'd want to get me? Ha ha ha!

Only every customer I ever sold a car to.

Hello... get me the police.

[horn honking]

Well, Pete, 99 out of 100 times, it's nothin'.

Whew! That's what I figured.

Then again, there's that hundredth time.

There is?

Reminds me of my first case.

It was a used car salesman.

-Like me? -No.

This guy was crooked, ripped off his customers.

You're nothin' like that.

No, not exactly.

He received a letter... Like this.

Then strange things started happening.

He heard squeaky footsteps wherever he went.

He saw suspicious shadows on the walls.

He felt the presence of eyes always watching over him.

And then, one day, poof! He disappeared.

-Poo... oof? -Poof.

Here's his picture when I found him 10 years later.

Oh, no. Why, it's horrible!

Oh, sorry.

That's a picture of bowl of chili that won first prize

at the policemen's chili cook-off.

This is another bowl of chili.

No, that's him.

[gasps]

Who would do such a thing?

Often it's someone close to the victim...

The wife, son, daughter, uncle, grocery box boy, foreign diplomat...

But I don't want to wind up like... Chili!

Calm down. There's a 75% chance it's nothin'.

But you said it was a 99% chance before.

99, 70.

You say "tomahto," I say "tomato."

I'm afraid it's the perp's next move.

Until then, just sit tight, relax,

maybe consider bumping up your life insurance policy.

-What? -I often find

that humor alleviates a tense situation.

No silly letter's gonna spook me.

I got nerves of steel.

Why, I can eat Brussels sprouts without even blinkin'.

-[phone rings] -[cries out]

Probably wrong number anyway.

Better make sure it's all there, Maxie.

Shears, chain saw, ax, hammer...

-Cuckoo! Cuckoo! -Cuckoo clock.

I'll I gotta do is follow these instructions,

and Petey will have him a brand-new hedge clipper.

Let's see. "Insert a and b, and v and o,

-and I and e, except after c." -[horn honks]

Ah-hyuck! Sounds simple.

Nothin' to worry about. Everythin's just fine.

Gonna be clear...

[Max] Pop, did you feel something?

Ow!

I wonder if that was him.

Nice to take a different way home,

for variety's sake.

I've been wantin' to see this part of town anyway.

Uh, yeah...

I've been wantin' to see this part of town, too.

-[crashing, cat yowls] -Aah!

[cries out]

[owl hoots]

Uh, been dyin' to see this part of town, too.

Don't mean that literally, of course.

It's true what they say...

A guy can spend a lifetime in a town

and never see the sights.

-[meow] -Aah!

Always wanted to see the sewer.

Plus, nobody can find me...

Not that anyone's after me. Uh-uh.

[loud groan]

Just an echo, that's all.

[nervous chuckle]

Always had a hyperactive imagination.

He's after me! He's gonna get me!

Whaaaoo! Ohhh! Ohhhohhh!

[squeaking]

[hammering]

[Peg] What are you doing, bunny feet?

Oh, nothing, poodle lips.

Just a little redecoratin'.

Now, be brutal. What do ya think?

Yaaaahhh! Haaa! Haa! Haaa!

Petey, you're not dressed for work.

Not goin'. It's a holiday...

-What holiday? -People named Felix day.

Wouldn't want to offend Felix.

Daddy, daddy, daddy! Aren't you gonna give us a ride to school today?

School?

Wouldn't you rather stay home today, pumpkin?

-You mean it? -No school?

Pete?

Come on, Peg-ums.

What's one day of school?

I hardly ever get to see my kids.

It'll give us a chance to get to know get to know one another.

-You wanna get to know us? -He doesn't feel hot.

Just get up here on daddy's lap, and we'll...

Rap.

So, uh...

-You go to school, huh? -Kinda.

So, uh... you're in what, third grade? Fourth?

-Sixth. -Sixth grade?

Peg, did you hear that? Our son's in the sixth grade!

So, pistol, honey...

Kindergarten.

-Peg... -[Peg] I know.

That's great! Sixth grade and kindergarten.

It's 'cause you're different ages. What do ya know?

[chuckles] Uh, are we done getting to know each other, Dad?

Uh, think I'll walk to school. Bye.

-Me, too! -Glad we had this chat, dad.

We gotta do it again real soon.

So, Peg...

I don't go to school.

[laughing] I know that.

[knocking]

Someone's at the door. Wonder who it is.

Well, you know, if you open it, we might find out.

-Aah! -Aah!

[shouting]

Whew. Close one.

[Goofy] "Dear, Petey.

Your surprise is going to come any day."

There. This'll let Petey know

I haven't forgot about his hedge clipper.

Petey, you're fogging up the window again.

There's a little guy across the street

just staring at our house.

He hasn't budged in over an hour.

-Pete, that's a lawn jockey. -Oh.

Well, you can't be too careful.

Are you sure everything's OK, froggy feet?

Sure.

Things couldn't be better.

See?

OK.

Pull yourself together.

B-B-But the killer...

He can't get you here.

Doesn't even know where you live.

That's right. If I never leave home for the rest of my life,

I got nothin' to worry about.

[buzzer]

Probably just a bill

or a letter from Ed McMahon.

Yeah that's it.

Good old Ed. Good to hear from him.

"Your surprise is going to come any day."

He found me! What are we gonna do?

What do you mean "we"? I'm outta here! Ho hoo!

You still awake, hamster lips?

[trigger clicks]

By drivet! What makes you think anything's wrong?

[tapping]

Eyyaaaaah!

[gunshot]

[babbling]

Pete, I think it's time you switched to a decaffeinated coffee.

Now, just sit back and watch some TV.

It'll take your mind off of whatever's bothering you.

Yeah, TV. Watch TV. TV good.

I'll go fix you a snack.

[woman] There you are, darling... some warm milk to help you sleep.

[man] Oh, thank you, darling.

[gulping]

This milk tastes peculiar,

like almonds and...

Oh, no! I've been poisoned!

[choking]

[woman] I told you it would help you sleep... forever!

[cackling]

There you are, dear...

Some warm milk to help you sleep.

Often it's someone close to the victim...

The wife, son, daughter, uncle...

[Pete] Noooooo!

I gotta pull myself together.

Peg loves me. She'd never hurt me.

Then again, what do I really know about her anyway?

He heard squeaky footsteps wherever he went.

PJ?

[Police detective] He saw shadows on the walls.

Pistol? Of course.

[gasps]

He felt the presence of eyes always watching him.

Stop that!

Chainsaw? The killer?

Never did trust that mutt.

Never knew she could write.

Pete-ums! Petey-pie!

Oh, please open the door.

Can't do it, Peg... If that's your real name.

What do you mean, if that's my real name?

Is dad going flako, mom?

Oh, of course not.

He's just been under a lot of pressure lately.

Just the same, I think we better hide all the sharp objects.

I can't trust anyone.

They're all acting weird.

I'll get Goof to protect me. I can trust him.

He's too stupid to hurt me.

[bell dings]

Better wait until dark.

And he's had himself locked up in our bedroom all day.

I'm worried. This behavior is strange, even for Pete.

Don't you worry none, Peg. I'll talk to him.

And when I'm done, he'll be more his old self than he was when he wasn't.

-Ah-hyuck! -[crash]

Goof, good buddy, friend, pal, chum...

Where are you?

Hmm, the lamebrain must be out.

[Max] Mr. Pete's sure gonna be surprised when he gets it, Dad.

Yeah. I can hardly wait to see his face

when I let him have it.

[gasps]

I wouldn't have believed it

if I didn't hear it with my own eyes.

It's true. It's the Goof.

He's out to get me.

M-M-Magazine and the letter

and the squeaky shoes! Squeak! Squeak!

Take a deep breath and slowly tell me what's wrong.

[inhales]

It's the Goof!

Oh, yes, Petey, I invited Goofy and Max over for dinner.

Got a little surprise for you, Pete.

I've been wanting to give you this for quite a while.

[ticking]

It's ticking. It's ticking.

Nooooo!

Whew!

Funny place to put a hedge clipper.

Ah-hyuck! Guess the surprise

must've got him a little overexcited.

[chuckles]

Goofy, would you carve the Turkey?

No, please don't!

Oh, yeah, y-y-you mean that Turkey.

Heh heh heh.

Here, Petey. Got a special piece just for you.

[stammers] Uh, I'm not really hungry.

Aw, go ahead. It's not gonna hurt ya.

Uh... yeah.

Here you go, girl.

That's right. Eat it up. Yum-yum.

How do you feel? Little queasy yet?

And you said you weren't hungry.

Ah-hyuck! Here. Have seconds.

Now, be sure and save room for thirds. Ah-hyuck!

I'll be right back.

A-hyuck.

Where you going, Daddy?

Gotta change my shoelaces.

I hate it when they don't match.

I gotta make a run for it. Hop a freight train. Take it to the high country.

Good thing I watched a lot of prison movies. I saw this in a show once.

Mommy, why is Daddy hanging a bed sheet out the window?

Eat your carrots, dear.

Eeeeiiiaaa!

I think my poor Pete-ums has finally gone over the deep end.

Nope. That was me, Peg.

Don't you worry none.

I'll track Petey down

and back him back safe and sound, dead or alive.

After all, I still gotta give him his new hedge clipper. Ah-hyuck!

Petey, are you there?

I got somethin' for ya!

You gotta catch me first. Ha ha ha ha!

Ooh.

-[screams] -[Goofy] Where are ya?

Aah!

[high voice] One child's ticket, please.

He'll never find me in here.

Petey, is that you?

[screaming]

You gotta help me!

Yeow!

Take me anywhere. Anywhere!

Whoa!

Yeeiiooowww!

We'll be safe down here.

Just the two of us. Yeah.

Just wait here till the Goof moves away.

It can't be more than 10, 20, 30, 40 years.

That's OK We got beans,

enough beans to last Petey a lifetime.

They're mine... All mine, I tell ya.

All mine! Ha ha ha ha!

Blecch!

Shh! Someone's coming.

Don't say a word.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

[Goofy] Gawrsh, Peg, sounds like Pete.

[Peg] He must be in the basement.

Et tu, chainsaw?

Man's best friend? I knew you were in on this.

I got somethin' for ya, Pete.

Well, I guess this is it.

But if I gotta go, I'll go like a man.

Please don't hurt me. I take back every nasty thing

I ever said about you, even though it was true.

I'll do anything! I'll wash your lawn! I'll mow your car!

I'll rake your window! Please don't kill me!

I'm too young to die!

Gawrsh, Petey,

you're really choked up about this, aren't ya?

Don't choke me, too. I... what's this?

It's your brand-new Swiss army hedge clipper.

I've been trying to give it to you all night.

What about...

This?

You sent it, didn't ya?

Sure did. Oops! Bottom half's missin'.

What do you mean, oops, bottom half's miss...

"I'm going to get you... A new hedge clipper.

Sorry, Goofy."

Hedge clipper? Ha ha ha!

Peggy, look, honey-bunny!

Goof got me a hedge clipper! [giggles]

Uh-huh. That's... That's very nice, dear.

Kids, look! Whoopidy! Whoopidy!

Daddy has a hedge clipper! Yada-yada! Hoodie-hoodie!

-Ha ha ha! -Uh, cool, dad.

Yeah. Totally rad, Mr. P.

I hope it's not genetic.

-So everything's OK Now? -[laughing]

I don't have to worry about the chili!

Ha ha! No more shadows!

Peg, kids, I think Petey wants to be alone

with his new hedge clipper.

Heh heh heh! Chili!

That's good.

Well, I... Wasn't really scared.

I... I... I could've beat up anyone after me

with both hands tied behind my back.

Mess with me, huh? Just try it.

Why, I know karate, judo,

kung pao, and moo goo gai pan.

I'll simonize their garfinkles!

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

Yeah!