Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,625 --> 00:00:21,706
My mother could be rich.
She could be rich and smart.
2
00:00:23,375 --> 00:00:26,741
Or she could be rich and stupid.
3
00:00:26,833 --> 00:00:30,496
On the other hand, she could be
just poor and good-hearted.
4
00:00:32,209 --> 00:00:34,496
Or she could be poor and mean.
5
00:00:34,584 --> 00:00:38,708
I mean, I-I have no idea
what she's like. It's--
6
00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:42,656
And there's my father, right?
I look at guys on the street every day--
7
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,826
regular guys
walking down the street.
8
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,917
And depending on my mood, I imagine
that any one of them could be my father.
9
00:00:48,002 --> 00:00:50,669
This guy.
How about this guy?
10
00:00:50,752 --> 00:00:53,205
Hi, Dad.
11
00:00:54,127 --> 00:00:56,616
Then I have to picture
these two people having sex.
12
00:00:56,710 --> 00:00:59,329
Okay, maybe they're not together now.
But at least 30 years ago...
13
00:00:59,419 --> 00:01:02,287
they had to hook up
in order to have me, right?
14
00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:06,621
Mix and match, mix and match,
all these people together.
15
00:01:06,711 --> 00:01:08,785
I can't help feeling...
16
00:01:08,878 --> 00:01:12,078
that if I'd been raised
by at least one of my real parents...
17
00:01:12,170 --> 00:01:15,251
I wouldn't be
such a nervous person, you know?
18
00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:19,911
I might be living a completely different
life in a totally different city.
19
00:01:20,004 --> 00:01:23,002
I could be married to a totally
different person with a different job.
20
00:01:23,087 --> 00:01:26,287
I mean, how do I know? I don't.
Anything's possible.
21
00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:33,621
Well, the mystery of your
unknown self is about to unfold.
22
00:01:33,714 --> 00:01:36,914
Your mother lives
in San Diego, California.
23
00:01:40,755 --> 00:01:43,244
Her name is Valerie Swaney.
24
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,579
Valerie Swaney?
25
00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:49,421
I told you it wouldn't take long.
26
00:01:49,505 --> 00:01:51,544
Can we arrange a meeting soon?
27
00:01:51,631 --> 00:01:53,705
How's, um--
How's next month?
28
00:01:53,798 --> 00:01:57,543
No, no. I told Nancy I'd do it sooner.
I-I've been driving her crazy.
29
00:01:57,631 --> 00:01:59,622
Because you can't name your son?
30
00:01:59,715 --> 00:02:02,878
I've just been distracted and tense
ever since the baby was born.
31
00:02:02,965 --> 00:02:05,749
- A little unsteady?
- Preoccupied.
32
00:02:23,925 --> 00:02:28,582
I heard a song 'bout
clouds and rainbows
33
00:02:28,675 --> 00:02:33,048
I hum a tune
that sings like a dove
34
00:02:33,133 --> 00:02:37,837
Found some words about anything
35
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:42,382
Anything but love
36
00:02:42,468 --> 00:02:46,414
I paint a picture of my prison
37
00:02:46,509 --> 00:02:51,581
With blue and grey
for the skies above
38
00:02:51,676 --> 00:02:56,133
Framed and signed with a title
39
00:02:56,219 --> 00:03:00,378
Anything but love
40
00:03:00,469 --> 00:03:05,043
He had to go
but I won't miss him
41
00:03:05,135 --> 00:03:09,544
I have got
better things to do
42
00:03:09,635 --> 00:03:14,128
Like writing stories
and painting pictures
43
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:17,799
Of anything but love
44
00:03:18,970 --> 00:03:23,295
Oh, anything but love
45
00:03:23,386 --> 00:03:27,462
Anything but love
46
00:03:31,346 --> 00:03:32,459
Nancy?
47
00:03:34,679 --> 00:03:36,670
I'm in the bedroom!
48
00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:41,845
Big news.
I got big news.
49
00:03:41,929 --> 00:03:45,211
Hi, sweetie. You look great.
Why are you dressed like that?
50
00:03:45,304 --> 00:03:48,386
Did you forget about our date?
51
00:03:48,472 --> 00:03:51,423
Oh, my God! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
52
00:03:51,514 --> 00:03:54,465
- No. It's okay, you're here now.
- No, no, no. I feel so bad.
53
00:03:54,555 --> 00:03:56,676
We're not gonna fight about it.
54
00:03:56,764 --> 00:03:59,466
Look at you.
You look so sexy.
55
00:04:01,347 --> 00:04:03,718
But I want to tell you
what I forgot.
56
00:04:03,806 --> 00:04:06,639
- Take your shoes off.
- No, no, wait, wait. We have to talk.
57
00:04:06,723 --> 00:04:08,714
- We have to talk. Talk.
- No. No. Honey, no talking.
58
00:04:08,806 --> 00:04:11,176
No, no, we have to talk
about wh-why I'm late.
59
00:04:11,265 --> 00:04:13,677
- Control freak, huh?
- No. Yeah, maybe I am a control freak.
60
00:04:13,765 --> 00:04:16,755
- Control freak.
Don't!
61
00:04:26,682 --> 00:04:28,886
- Nap time's over.
- Nap time's over.
62
00:04:28,974 --> 00:04:31,379
Wait, wait. I'll get him.
I'll get him.
63
00:04:31,474 --> 00:04:34,804
You don't have to put your pants on
to get the baby.
64
00:04:40,475 --> 00:04:43,722
Honey, do you think
we're ever gonna have sex?
65
00:04:43,808 --> 00:04:46,131
Definitely.
66
00:04:47,725 --> 00:04:52,051
There, buddy, Yeah.
How ya doin'?
67
00:04:52,143 --> 00:04:55,224
It's okay. Yeah, yeah.
You okay?
68
00:04:55,309 --> 00:04:58,142
- We'll be out in one second.
- Oh.
69
00:04:58,226 --> 00:05:00,181
I feel like I'm keeping you
from something.
70
00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:02,507
No. No, no, no.
This is a priority.
71
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:05,634
Is this a bad time for your wife?
'Cause, you know, I could come back.
72
00:05:05,726 --> 00:05:08,725
Not at all. We just need
a couple of minutes.
73
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,517
This is crazy.
74
00:05:12,602 --> 00:05:15,802
I mean, all right, I feel guilty
'cause I missed the date.
75
00:05:15,894 --> 00:05:19,804
I just gotta tell her. What am I
afraid of, right? This is stupid.
76
00:05:21,894 --> 00:05:25,225
- Hey, here you go.
- No, no. This is good.
77
00:05:25,311 --> 00:05:27,930
- What?
- This is good. You stay with Daddy.
78
00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:31,516
- Keep his hands occupied.
- Oh, Nancy. Nancy. No, no, no.
79
00:05:31,603 --> 00:05:35,431
Honey. Honey.
Can't we make another date, please?
80
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:40,094
Thi-- Sweetie, this is--
Sweetie, he's looking right down at you.
81
00:05:40,186 --> 00:05:44,051
This isn't-- Oh. Oh, no, no. No.
82
00:05:44,146 --> 00:05:46,681
No. Oh, no, no, no.
83
00:05:48,104 --> 00:05:50,936
My real mother lives in San Diego.
84
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,095
- What?
- That's what I was trying to tell you.
85
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,593
I went to the adoption agency,
and they found my real mother.
86
00:05:55,687 --> 00:05:57,679
Just like that?
You walked in, they found her?
87
00:05:57,772 --> 00:05:59,762
Well, it was the second
trip, actually.
88
00:05:59,855 --> 00:06:02,142
- Ohh.
- I know, I know.
89
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:04,221
- Honey.
- I know. So listen...
90
00:06:04,314 --> 00:06:06,884
why don't you put something on
and come over and say hello to Tina.
91
00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:10,595
- Who?
- The woman who helped
arrange everything.
92
00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:13,473
This woman's in our apartment
right now? She's here?
93
00:06:13,564 --> 00:06:16,562
Yeah. Well I-- You know,
I-I was trying to tell you before...
94
00:06:16,648 --> 00:06:19,018
but you got all sexed up
and everything--
95
00:06:19,106 --> 00:06:22,472
Well, I got sexed up because we had a date,
not because I'm some kind of freak or something.
96
00:06:22,565 --> 00:06:24,602
- I didn't say you were a freak.
Did I say you were a freak, honey? - No.
97
00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:27,604
- No, no. Come on, this is good, right?
- Hi. I'm Tina Kalb.
98
00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,764
I'm sorry to burst in on you
like this...
99
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,227
but Mel said he didn't
want to waste any time.
100
00:06:32,316 --> 00:06:35,065
That's all right. Nancy understands
how important this whole thing is.
101
00:06:35,149 --> 00:06:37,981
- Great. The baby's gorgeous,
by the way. It looks just like Mel. - Ohh.
102
00:06:38,066 --> 00:06:41,266
Thanks. Really? You really think so?
Everybody always says he looks like me.
103
00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:45,268
Well, what do I know? I'm just another
30-year-old woman desperate for a baby of her own.
104
00:06:45,357 --> 00:06:47,562
Your husband
doesn't want to have kids?
105
00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:49,724
Yeah, I'm in the middle
of a divorce, actually.
106
00:06:49,817 --> 00:06:52,601
I just can't seem
to part with the ring.
107
00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:56,685
- Sorry.
- Oh, no. You know, it was
one of those death marriages--
108
00:06:56,775 --> 00:06:59,442
you know, the kind where you
have to start making dates to have sex.
109
00:07:02,608 --> 00:07:05,477
Well, I'm sure it'll work out. I mean,
I'm sure you'll meet somebody else...
110
00:07:05,568 --> 00:07:07,807
and you'll be happy
and you'll fall in love again...
111
00:07:07,901 --> 00:07:10,733
- and things'll just be wonderful.
- Yeah, I don't know.
112
00:07:10,818 --> 00:07:12,808
I think it might be easier
at this point...
113
00:07:12,901 --> 00:07:15,306
just to find an intelligent man
to impregnate me.
114
00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:19,934
I'm sorry. I don't understand
exactly who you are.
115
00:07:20,026 --> 00:07:22,267
Oh, didn't I tell you?
She's-She's doing the study.
116
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,931
I'm gonna be coming along
to San Diego next week...
117
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:27,018
to document the reunion.
118
00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:30,025
In fact, Nancy, I've got
some waivers that I need you to sign.
119
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:33,357
You see, there's such a dearth
of in-depth documentation...
120
00:07:33,444 --> 00:07:36,358
into the psychological impact
that these reunions have...
121
00:07:36,444 --> 00:07:40,521
on, for instance, you, the spouse,
as well as Mel's adoptive family.
122
00:07:40,611 --> 00:07:43,065
- Ah, so you're a psychologist?
- Not quite.
123
00:07:43,153 --> 00:07:45,523
I'm just finishing my doctorate.
124
00:07:45,611 --> 00:07:47,851
Tina used to be a dancer.
125
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:51,985
Oh, those days are long gone. I--
Listen, I've gotta call the office.
126
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:55,353
Oh, there's a phone in the kitchen.
It's right there on your left.
127
00:07:55,446 --> 00:07:58,017
- Got one right here.
- Well, next week?
128
00:07:58,112 --> 00:07:59,689
- Yeah, yeah.
- God, that's soon.
129
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:03,275
Well, they're gonna pay for everything.
Isn't that great, sweetie? Honey?
130
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:10,196
After I had my baby,
I wanted my husband to stay home...
131
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,271
and help with night feedings...
132
00:08:12,364 --> 00:08:15,066
not drag me on some plane
for San Diego.
133
00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:18,319
I like travelling.
The baby's five months old.
134
00:08:18,405 --> 00:08:21,190
I really think this is gonna get us
closer together.
135
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:26,151
Oh, honey, after you're married, he feels like he's
kissing his mother half the time, anyway.
136
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:31,276
Our kissing is still nice, but he's
so controlling about the oral sex.
137
00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:33,770
Well, have you tried
the warm water method?
138
00:08:33,865 --> 00:08:35,939
- Are you kidding? - No.
- You're kidding.
139
00:08:36,031 --> 00:08:38,235
- No.Joe loves it.
- Hey.
140
00:08:38,323 --> 00:08:40,397
- Oh, hi, Mel. - Hi.
- Look what I found.
141
00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:42,480
What did you find?
142
00:08:44,199 --> 00:08:46,236
- What made you dig these out?
- Remember?
143
00:08:46,324 --> 00:08:48,729
I don't know. I was just feeling
nostalgic for some reason.
144
00:08:48,824 --> 00:08:52,983
That's so sweet. We found these
on our first field trip together.
145
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:57,020
Very sweet. Oh, congratulations
on finding your mother, Mel.
146
00:08:57,116 --> 00:09:00,482
- Thank you.
- That oughta settle some big issues for you, huh?
147
00:09:00,575 --> 00:09:02,898
Definitely. Which issues
are you talking about?
148
00:09:02,992 --> 00:09:07,614
- Starting with the whole sex thing.
- Sex. Baby's name. The baby's name.
149
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:10,153
- 'Cause you said Ethan--
- No, no, wait a minute.She just said the sex thing.
150
00:09:10,242 --> 00:09:12,481
- You said that Ethan was too feminine.
- Right.
151
00:09:12,575 --> 00:09:15,987
- We were trying to think of a more
masculine baby name, right? So--
- Okay, but she said the sex thing.
152
00:09:16,076 --> 00:09:18,399
- Didn't you just say the sex thing?
- But she meant that.
153
00:09:18,493 --> 00:09:21,159
- Well, why don't you just let her
speak for herself? Wh-What did you mean?
- Well, tell him. Tell him. Go on.
154
00:09:21,243 --> 00:09:24,075
Actually, it was oral sex
I was referring to.
155
00:09:24,159 --> 00:09:26,482
Oral sex, really?
I think I just walked in...
156
00:09:26,576 --> 00:09:29,029
- on a ladies' conversation
that guys aren't supposed to--
- No, you didn't.
157
00:09:29,118 --> 00:09:31,523
- Yes, I-- I'm gonna go.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- I'm gonna leave.
- No, stay.
158
00:09:31,618 --> 00:09:34,486
- No. No. Leave.
- Don't go. Come on.
- Go. Stay? No.
159
00:09:34,577 --> 00:09:36,982
- Honey, we weren't talking about us.
- I-- What?
160
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,068
- We wouldn't-- I wouldn't--
- No. I know.
- You've gotta know that.
161
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,993
- I know that so much.
- Bye.
- So true.
162
00:09:42,077 --> 00:09:44,696
Hey, I didn't go around telling my
friends you didn't want to make love...
163
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,155
for almost two months
after the baby was born, did I?
164
00:09:47,244 --> 00:09:50,906
- Probably.
- Okay, but it didn't
get back to you, did it? Huh?
165
00:09:53,036 --> 00:09:56,568
Are you sure you're okay
about this woman coming along?
It's not weird or anything?
166
00:09:56,661 --> 00:10:00,737
Well, it's a little strange
to be travelling with a chaperone.
167
00:10:02,453 --> 00:10:05,404
But if you're okay with it,
I'm okay with it.
168
00:10:05,495 --> 00:10:10,319
Well, it's just, she's been through
the process so many times.
I think it's a good thing.
169
00:10:10,412 --> 00:10:14,821
Honey, if this helps you
get what you need inside...
170
00:10:14,912 --> 00:10:17,827
- then I'm all for it.
- Thanks, sweetie.
171
00:10:20,246 --> 00:10:23,031
This cheese is disgusting.
Get it away from me.
172
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,243
- What's wrong with this cheese?
- It smells like vomit.
173
00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:28,411
- Oh, stop being such a baby.
- Mom, Dad, this is Tina.
- I'm a baby who smells like vomit?
174
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:31,614
- Yes.
- You okay?
- Nancy, did you get
that support bra yet?
175
00:10:31,705 --> 00:10:34,987
- Not yet.
- What are you waiting for?
- Hey, I want to introduce you
to somebody.
176
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,533
Please don't make
such a big deal out of it.
177
00:10:37,622 --> 00:10:40,823
- It makes a real difference.
- All right, could we not talk
about this right now?
178
00:10:40,915 --> 00:10:45,240
Uh, yes, we're gonna talk about this
because she's not listening to me.
179
00:10:45,331 --> 00:10:48,448
- I want you to see something.
- Ohh.
- Very nice, Pearl.
- For God's sake.
180
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:52,747
- I want you to consider my age
and ask yourself how I maintain this.
- Mom, why are you doing this?
181
00:10:52,831 --> 00:10:55,949
- How? I don't know. How?
- This is it. All right, can we
not deal with this right now, please?
- I couldn't have a baby.
182
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:58,115
But I had to fight the laws
of gravity just the same...
183
00:10:58,207 --> 00:11:00,826
and you need the help
of a good bra.
184
00:11:00,916 --> 00:11:04,411
And believe you me, if you want
to keep your husband's attention,
you'll get one pronto.
185
00:11:04,499 --> 00:11:07,414
You know, if my breasts drop, they drop,
and there's nothing I can do about that.
186
00:11:07,499 --> 00:11:09,536
- Wrong!
- That's right. Good for you, honey.
187
00:11:09,624 --> 00:11:12,160
- Wrong!
-Just back off, will ya?
- You've had five of these.
188
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,371
- I don't think--
- Don't monitor me.
189
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:18,073
- Your new friend is, uh,
very long-waisted, isn't she?
- Okay, that's it!
190
00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:20,916
- We're not talking
about this any more, okay?
- It's a free country.
191
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,571
- Why can't I talk?
- Let him alone.
192
00:11:23,667 --> 00:11:26,202
You're making an ass
out of yourself again!
193
00:11:26,292 --> 00:11:30,286
- Why don't you leave me alone!
Why don't you just have a little sniff?
- Don't do that. Hey, hey.
194
00:11:30,376 --> 00:11:33,327
- The baby's crying.
- Get that away from me,
or I'll smack it off.
195
00:11:33,418 --> 00:11:36,084
- Yeah, you're gonna beat me up
in front of all these people?
- Don't tempt me!
196
00:11:36,168 --> 00:11:39,119
Would you stop acting like this?
That's it! All right?
197
00:11:39,209 --> 00:11:43,534
- Don't yell in front of the baby.
- Don't yell in front of the baby.
It's not good.
198
00:11:43,626 --> 00:11:46,032
Well, he wouldn't have to yell
if you'd listen to him for two seconds!
199
00:11:46,127 --> 00:11:49,374
Well, what's gotten into my sweet
daughter-in-law all of a sudden?
200
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:52,707
- Hormones. No mystery there.
- Does this baby have a name yet?
201
00:11:52,794 --> 00:11:55,329
- Four months old, doesn't have a name.
- Well, don't blame me.
202
00:11:55,419 --> 00:11:57,907
- I like the name Ethan.
- Oh, no, no. Ethan's too lame.
203
00:11:58,002 --> 00:12:02,826
- Everything's too lame, too bold.
- This is becoming an embarrassing,
neurotic thing, Mel.
204
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,083
It's not an embarrassing, neurotic
thing. This is about my real identity.
205
00:12:06,170 --> 00:12:08,623
- It's about my background, okay?
- Don't be ridiculous.
206
00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:10,832
You're Mel Coplin.
That's who you are.
207
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,665
You know, this process will go
a long way towards clarifying
that identity issue.
208
00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:18,167
What process? Who is this new friend
with the camera already?
209
00:12:18,254 --> 00:12:20,707
I've only been trying to introduce
you to her for the last ten minutes.
210
00:12:20,796 --> 00:12:23,829
- Her name is Tina Kalb, and she's here
for a very important reason.
- You're getting a divorce.
211
00:12:23,921 --> 00:12:27,084
-She's a counsellor. No, she's a lawyer.
-Would you-- Would you just zip it?
212
00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:29,920
- Don't talk to your mother like that.
- We're not getting a divorce.
213
00:12:30,004 --> 00:12:32,374
Maybe you should
if you can't name the baby.
214
00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:35,627
- That is a terrible,
sick thing to say, Ed!
- You said it first!
215
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,711
- That's no excuse!
- If you say it, fine.
If I say it, I'm sick.
216
00:12:38,797 --> 00:12:41,250
- Maybe.
- Tina is with the adoption agency.
217
00:12:41,339 --> 00:12:45,379
- What adoption agency?
- The adoption agency
where you adopted me.
218
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:49,043
- When I was a little baby, remember?
- Oh, my God!
219
00:12:50,755 --> 00:12:55,994
Oh, God. I have to have a cigarette
if we're gonna talk about this.
220
00:12:56,090 --> 00:12:59,953
- Can I bum one of those?
- No, you can't smoke around the baby.
221
00:13:00,048 --> 00:13:06,045
- Show a little compassion, will you?
- This might be a good time
to make an exception. For her.
222
00:13:06,131 --> 00:13:10,173
- Pearl!
- I'd like to know what happened
to the Constitution in this country.
223
00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:13,504
- Please, can you please put it out?
- Oh, all right, all right!
224
00:13:13,591 --> 00:13:18,414
Why does he have to do this roots thing?
Aren't we good enough parents?
225
00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:22,583
I think you probably
did the best that you could,
but psychic scars can't be helped.
226
00:13:22,674 --> 00:13:26,123
Psychic scars?
What is she talking about?
227
00:13:32,175 --> 00:13:34,794
She's saying we failed completely.
228
00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:39,091
- That's way too extreme.
- Yeah, maybe just 40 percent.
229
00:13:39,175 --> 00:13:42,044
Mom, you can't quantify it like that.
I mean, what difference does it make...
230
00:13:42,134 --> 00:13:44,587
if it's 40 percent or 60 percent?
231
00:13:44,676 --> 00:13:46,667
Sixty percent?
232
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,461
Why is everybody getting
so serious all of a sudden?
233
00:13:49,551 --> 00:13:51,625
I thought we were gonna talk
about buying new carpeting...
234
00:13:51,718 --> 00:13:54,716
getting rid of this crap,
putting in the wall-to-wall.
235
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:57,373
Life is so rich, so full.
236
00:13:57,469 --> 00:14:00,751
You have a wife,
a child, a good job.
237
00:14:00,844 --> 00:14:03,332
Why are you doing this?
238
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:08,298
If I could pop in here for a second,
I think that what Mel is trying
to communicate here...
239
00:14:08,385 --> 00:14:12,628
is that no matter where we are in our
lives, especially if we're adopted...
240
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,671
we can't help but feel
that there's something missing--
241
00:14:15,761 --> 00:14:20,051
that there's something out there
that's going to make us feel...
242
00:14:20,136 --> 00:14:24,260
complete, give us a sense of belonging,
connectedness if you will.
243
00:14:24,345 --> 00:14:28,125
This woman strikes me
as being very dangerous.
244
00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:30,887
It's understandable
that you would find me threatening.
245
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,673
Why don't you psychoanalyze me?
I'd love to hear this. Go ahead.
246
00:14:33,762 --> 00:14:37,543
I'm, uh, abrasive,
pushy, defensive.
247
00:14:37,637 --> 00:14:40,505
My husband is, uh, food-phobic,
passive-aggressive.
248
00:14:40,596 --> 00:14:44,376
- Huh? Come on. Come on.
- Look, the point is, we're going
to San Diego in the morning, and--
249
00:14:44,471 --> 00:14:46,592
What about your father's 60th birthday?
250
00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:50,756
Well, if you'd let me finish what
I'm saying, I'd say that we have every
intention of coming back for it.
251
00:14:50,847 --> 00:14:54,295
You are aware that they have a very big
car theft problem in San Diego.
252
00:14:54,389 --> 00:14:57,303
- No, I wasn't aware of that.
- Oh, yes, very big.
253
00:14:57,389 --> 00:14:59,509
I hadn't heard anything
about that either.
254
00:14:59,597 --> 00:15:02,381
They bump you,
and when you stop...
255
00:15:02,472 --> 00:15:04,464
they mutilate you
and then take your car.
256
00:15:04,556 --> 00:15:07,092
- It happened to Art Sackhein.
- What?
257
00:15:07,181 --> 00:15:09,717
- They killed Art Sackhein?
- Oh, don't be ridiculous.
258
00:15:09,806 --> 00:15:12,804
They bumped him and took his car.
Nobody said anything about killing.
259
00:15:12,890 --> 00:15:16,800
- You said mutilate.
- Anyway--
- Please.
260
00:15:16,890 --> 00:15:20,671
Enjoy yourself. I understand
they have a lovely zoo in San Diego.
261
00:15:24,807 --> 00:15:27,971
- Are you ready for San Diego?
- Yeah!
- Yes.
262
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,427
- God, you look beautiful.
- So do you.
263
00:15:30,516 --> 00:15:32,506
Oh, thanks.
You know, maybe I'll just--
264
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,720
I'll run upstairs really quickly
and change, 'cause I don't think--
265
00:15:34,807 --> 00:15:37,344
- Don't be silly. You look adorable.
- You look so elegant.
- Honey.
266
00:15:37,433 --> 00:15:40,764
- I love that print. Come on.
- Honey, you look great. Come on.
267
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,092
Do you have the keys?
268
00:15:46,183 --> 00:15:49,928
I left with the feeling
this road was endless
269
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:55,386
Now it seems there's three days
to heaven, it's okay
270
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:59,517
'Cause these wheels
are takin'me home again
271
00:15:59,601 --> 00:16:02,090
It's all right
272
00:16:02,184 --> 00:16:05,799
I've got three days to heaven
then I'm gonna make you mine
273
00:16:11,852 --> 00:16:14,008
Boy, it's beautiful, here, isn't it?
274
00:16:14,102 --> 00:16:16,970
Sweetie, I'm so happy
we're doing this together.
275
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,265
- Watch the road, please.
- Me too.
276
00:16:19,352 --> 00:16:21,508
- How's the baby's diaper?
- He's fine.
277
00:16:21,602 --> 00:16:24,683
- Good.
- What's that?
278
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:28,509
Oh, my God. It's happening. Shit!
279
00:16:28,603 --> 00:16:30,475
- Oh, God, no.
- What's happening?
280
00:16:30,561 --> 00:16:33,892
It's the bump and rob.
This is it.
281
00:16:33,978 --> 00:16:35,885
- Get down!
- What? What?
- Get down with the baby!
282
00:16:35,978 --> 00:16:38,099
- He's gaining on us!
- Yo, slow down!
283
00:16:38,186 --> 00:16:40,722
- Back off, Jack!
- Pull over!
284
00:16:40,811 --> 00:16:43,597
- How do you close this window?
- Wait. I've got some Mace in my bag.
- Damn it.
285
00:16:43,687 --> 00:16:46,934
- It's not working!
- Listen to what he has to say.
- Here it is.
286
00:16:47,021 --> 00:16:50,054
- Mace him!
- Yeah, get him!
- No!
287
00:16:50,146 --> 00:16:52,136
Fucker!
288
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:56,679
You left your jacket
in the parking lot.
289
00:16:56,771 --> 00:16:59,010
Asshole!
290
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:02,139
Thank you for the jacket.
Sorry about the Mace.
291
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,889
Very sorry, sir.
292
00:17:05,939 --> 00:17:11,307
''The Trinity Church Ministry of Hope.''
Oh, my God!
293
00:17:13,605 --> 00:17:17,470
They bump you,
and when you stop...
294
00:17:17,565 --> 00:17:21,179
they mutilate you
and take your car.
295
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:25,018
- I don't think it's funny at all.
I mean, his father created this fear--
- It is too funny.
- It's funny.
296
00:17:25,106 --> 00:17:28,104
- Would you two, both of you,
just stop, please?
- And then--
- We're almost there.
297
00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:33,393
- I'm getting nervous.
- Really, I'm not surprised
at his reaction or by my reaction.
298
00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:50,102
- Okay, just breathe.
- Ohh.
299
00:17:50,192 --> 00:17:53,889
- Should I ring the doorbell?
- Okay.
300
00:17:53,983 --> 00:17:56,472
- I mean, no. Wait, wait, wait.
I told you to wait.
- You said yes first.
301
00:17:56,567 --> 00:17:58,890
- You didn't give me a chance to say no.
- Well, I would've, but--
302
00:17:58,983 --> 00:18:01,554
- Hi!
- Hi.
- Hi.
303
00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:05,941
Oh, what a pretty wife you have!
And I see you've brought your nanny.
304
00:18:06,026 --> 00:18:09,806
- Oh, I'm not the nanny. I'm the wife.
- Oh, excuse me.
305
00:18:09,901 --> 00:18:12,568
- What a terrible way to start.
- Oh, don't be silly.
306
00:18:12,651 --> 00:18:15,435
I'm Tina Kalb from
the Maidstone Adoption Agency.
307
00:18:15,526 --> 00:18:18,690
- Right.
- Hi.
- Hi.
308
00:18:18,776 --> 00:18:21,395
- Valerie Swaney.
- Mel Coplin.
309
00:18:25,735 --> 00:18:28,058
- This is great.
I love the stained glass.
- Lovely.
310
00:18:28,152 --> 00:18:32,146
- Thank you.
- Oh!
- Now, he was a great president.
311
00:18:32,235 --> 00:18:34,688
You know, I always felt like
I should've appreciated him more.
312
00:18:34,777 --> 00:18:38,190
I know just what you mean.
Come on, let's get something to drink.
313
00:18:43,236 --> 00:18:45,227
Your daddy was short.
314
00:18:46,903 --> 00:18:48,977
That would explain it.
315
00:18:49,070 --> 00:18:52,151
And we have the same forehead,
don't we?
316
00:18:52,236 --> 00:18:55,852
And the same eyes. Oh.
317
00:18:55,946 --> 00:19:01,066
This is amazing. I never shared
physical traits with family before.
318
00:19:02,779 --> 00:19:06,903
I'm a bad person
for what I did to you.
319
00:19:06,987 --> 00:19:09,523
- No, don't say that.
- It's true.
320
00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:13,275
Look, Tina says that most women
who gave up their children
for adoption in the '60s...
321
00:19:13,363 --> 00:19:18,068
were independent young women
acting against a conservative world.
322
00:19:19,238 --> 00:19:23,315
- You're sayin' I was a slut?
- No.
323
00:19:23,405 --> 00:19:26,901
- Oh, God!
- I didn't think-- You're not a slut.
324
00:19:26,988 --> 00:19:30,071
I was tall,
and I developed earlier--
325
00:19:30,156 --> 00:19:34,020
If that's a crime, go ahead and sue me,
but I am not from trashy people.
326
00:19:34,115 --> 00:19:37,943
- Really, I wasn't
suggesting that at all.
- Your daddy was poor.
327
00:19:38,031 --> 00:19:41,313
He worked in my father's
liquor warehouse in Baton Rouge.
328
00:19:41,406 --> 00:19:44,357
- Really? Baton Rouge.
- That's where you were conceived.
329
00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:47,198
In the liquor warehouse
on the cement floor...
330
00:19:47,282 --> 00:19:51,490
- Wow!
- in Baton Rouge.
Oh, my parents hated Lars.
331
00:19:51,574 --> 00:19:55,271
- Lars Waara was his name.
- Waara? Lars Waara!
332
00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:58,317
- What kind of name is that?
- Finnish.
333
00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:00,979
- Finnish? I'm Finnish.
- I knew that.
334
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:03,361
I mean, look at your face.
Absolutely.
335
00:20:03,450 --> 00:20:05,773
Finnish-American.
Half Scottish-American.
336
00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:09,991
Scottish-Finnish. What is that?
I don't know how to do that. That's--
337
00:20:11,492 --> 00:20:14,158
I'm gonna help.
I'm gonna help you with that.
338
00:20:14,242 --> 00:20:18,188
This belonged to my
great-great-grandmama
who was of the Clan Bucanon...
339
00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:21,615
- Wow!
- married to the Confederate
General Beauregard.
340
00:20:21,701 --> 00:20:24,569
- I want you to have it.
- A Confederate general?
341
00:20:24,659 --> 00:20:27,693
Mm-hmm.
Expert boxer and marksman.
342
00:20:27,784 --> 00:20:30,451
- Really? Wow!
- Wow!
- What an athletic family, huh?
343
00:20:30,534 --> 00:20:34,659
- I was on two championship
basketball teams myself.
- I'm not athletic at all.
344
00:20:34,744 --> 00:20:38,690
- Look at this picture. This is--
Let's name the baby Beauregard, huh?
- Beauregard?
345
00:20:38,785 --> 00:20:40,776
- Beau. Beau Coplin.
- Beau?
- I'm so touched.
346
00:20:40,869 --> 00:20:42,943
- Beau Coplin. Ah, yeah!
- Oh, damn it!
347
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:46,318
- What?
- The camera just jammed.
- You didn't get that just now?
348
00:20:46,410 --> 00:20:49,610
- No, and that was a terrific moment.
- Let me see.
- Forget the camera.
349
00:20:49,702 --> 00:20:52,238
- No, I can't.
- No, forget-- That's-- Forget about it.
350
00:20:52,328 --> 00:20:55,445
- What? Don't you want
to get it on tape?
- I'd like to have it on tape.
351
00:20:55,536 --> 00:20:58,321
- I know. I'm sorry.
- Uh, the light's better
in the living room.
352
00:20:58,411 --> 00:21:01,362
- Look, honey, I'll be right back, okay?
- I-I don't know what happened.
353
00:21:01,453 --> 00:21:06,822
- He's a very decisive man, isn't he?
- Well, actually he's not.
But today, for some reason--
354
00:21:06,911 --> 00:21:10,195
Do you see that, that wheel in there?
There's like a glob of gunk.
355
00:21:10,287 --> 00:21:13,369
- Yeah, I do.
- Tar.
- We need something to wipe it off with.
356
00:21:13,454 --> 00:21:17,578
- If we could get like a--
- What? You know what? I don't--
Let's just use my skirt.
357
00:21:17,662 --> 00:21:20,233
- Your skirt?
- I don't care about it. It's old.
- Really? Okay.
358
00:21:20,329 --> 00:21:22,652
-Just hold this, okay?
- Okay. Here.
359
00:21:22,746 --> 00:21:26,326
-Just-- If you can--
- Hold still.
- Yeah. Okay.
360
00:21:26,413 --> 00:21:29,411
I'm Beauregard from Dixie, hooray--
361
00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:31,618
Technically, he's from New York.
Right?
362
00:21:31,705 --> 00:21:34,490
- I'm sorry. Oh. I'm sorry.
- Well--
363
00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:37,116
- Uh, you got it, though. You got it.
- Good.
364
00:21:37,205 --> 00:21:40,120
- Yeah. So how long did you say
you were a dancer for?
- Oh, God, don't remind me.
365
00:21:40,206 --> 00:21:43,240
- I haven't been to the gym in months.
- Well, you don't seem like
you need to go to the gym.
366
00:21:43,331 --> 00:21:45,452
- I mean--
- Well, you're very generous.
367
00:21:45,540 --> 00:21:49,699
- Yeah.
- But when I was dancing, you know,
my calves did not look like this.
368
00:21:49,790 --> 00:21:52,657
- Those look like
very strong calves to me.
- Well, strong, yeah.
369
00:21:52,748 --> 00:21:55,450
They've always been strong.
When I was a kid, you know...
370
00:21:55,540 --> 00:21:58,574
I used to beat my brothers
at Indian wrestling all the time.
371
00:21:58,666 --> 00:22:02,078
Away down south in Dixie
372
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:04,950
He's a little cracker.
373
00:22:05,041 --> 00:22:07,031
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not a cracker.
- You can't deny--
374
00:22:07,124 --> 00:22:08,498
- I'm not a cracker!
- Ohh.
375
00:22:09,624 --> 00:22:11,780
You feel it in your legs?
376
00:22:11,874 --> 00:22:14,161
It's really more about upper-body
strength, isn't it?
377
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,738
- No, it's all in the legs.
- How?
378
00:22:16,833 --> 00:22:19,156
You'll see
when you lose your balance.
379
00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:25,874
- Oh!
- What in the world?
380
00:22:25,958 --> 00:22:28,956
Oh, my Lord!
381
00:22:29,042 --> 00:22:32,290
My Chinese zodiac is ruined!
382
00:22:32,376 --> 00:22:35,788
- I am so sorry. I really feel badly.
- Oh, my goodness. My animals.
- What else happened?
383
00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:39,242
- We were just in here,
and then, um, freak accident.
- I'm so sorry.
384
00:22:39,334 --> 00:22:42,782
- Yeah.Just--
- The shelf--
- What happened to the tail
of my rooster?
385
00:22:42,876 --> 00:22:45,281
- You mean-- Is this it, maybe?
- No.
386
00:22:45,376 --> 00:22:47,663
- That's the dog's pillow.
Oh.
387
00:22:47,752 --> 00:22:50,075
Well, don't throw it!
388
00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:52,574
I want to pay for all this.
Can I do that, please?
389
00:22:52,669 --> 00:22:54,873
- Absolutely not.
- Why not?
390
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,662
All children break things,
and all children are forgiven.
391
00:22:57,752 --> 00:23:00,869
Now, you have never had
that opportunity with me.
392
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,541
Let's take this
as a gift from God.
393
00:23:04,628 --> 00:23:08,953
And look, here's
another gift from God.
394
00:23:09,045 --> 00:23:12,292
Ohhh, well, why is that
a gift from God?
395
00:23:12,378 --> 00:23:16,621
The rabbit is still in one piece,
and both you and your daddy
were Year of the Rabbit.
396
00:23:16,711 --> 00:23:20,208
I always thought it was
Year of the Dragon, at least in all
those Chinese restaurant place mats.
397
00:23:20,296 --> 00:23:23,957
No, no, no. Lars is 1939.
You're 1963.
398
00:23:24,046 --> 00:23:27,542
- Those are both rabbit years.
- Actually, I was born in '65.
399
00:23:30,129 --> 00:23:34,751
- Don't you think I know
when my own son was born?
- 'Course you do, Valerie.
400
00:23:34,837 --> 00:23:38,169
Wait, that would make me two years
older than I thought I was. Wow!
401
00:23:38,255 --> 00:23:42,912
- How? How is that?
- You know what? I can clear this up
with one phone call to the office.
402
00:23:43,005 --> 00:23:47,461
- Yeah, why don't you make sure?
This really-- It kind of freaks me out.
- Mom, why are those cars here?
403
00:23:47,547 --> 00:23:51,078
- Hey, girls, look who's here!
- What happened to your glass animals?
404
00:23:51,172 --> 00:23:53,661
Oh, these are my twins
from my third marriage.
405
00:23:53,756 --> 00:23:56,671
- This is Jane, and this is Sandra.
- Hello.
406
00:23:56,756 --> 00:24:00,536
- This is your half brother, Mel.
- He looks just like Uncle Freddie.
- Oh, man!
407
00:24:00,631 --> 00:24:03,036
- Look at his nose.
- What's so funny?
408
00:24:03,131 --> 00:24:06,295
- What's so funny?
- He looks just like Uncle Freddie.
409
00:24:06,381 --> 00:24:09,250
Yes, he does.
Why didn't I see that?
410
00:24:09,341 --> 00:24:11,497
Oh, Uncle Freddie. I'm flattered.
What's he like?
411
00:24:11,591 --> 00:24:14,340
He's really sweet-natured. He's just
that weird thing. What do you call it?
412
00:24:14,424 --> 00:24:16,545
- ''Frateurist.''
- Yeah, he's a frateurist.
413
00:24:16,632 --> 00:24:21,088
- Frateurist? What's that?
- You rub up against people
in crowded public places.
414
00:24:21,174 --> 00:24:23,497
- That's how I met Mel.
- Seriously?
415
00:24:23,591 --> 00:24:26,127
- No, she's kidding.
- This is not something to kid about.
416
00:24:26,217 --> 00:24:29,629
- Yeah. He went to jail for it.
- Oh.
- Can he come to the beach?
417
00:24:29,717 --> 00:24:32,501
- Oh, honey, I don't think
he's got time for that, Jane.
- Why not?
418
00:24:32,592 --> 00:24:35,792
- We're in the volleyball finals.
- He can wear one of my shirts.
- Oh, yeah, give him a shirt.
419
00:24:35,883 --> 00:24:39,296
- We'll go down to the beach. This is--
- You girls!
- We're in the championship.
420
00:24:39,383 --> 00:24:41,006
- Oh, man, you should've
been there yesterday.
- Wow. Uh-huh.
421
00:24:41,092 --> 00:24:43,498
- It was so amazing.
- It was match point.
- Match point.
422
00:24:43,593 --> 00:24:46,756
- I went up for the spike.
- She went up for the spike.
- Shut up. Let me talk.
423
00:24:46,843 --> 00:24:49,248
- So I went up for the spike.
- It was so intense.
She went up for the spike--
- Shut up!
424
00:24:49,343 --> 00:24:53,123
- Girls, girls, calm down!
- Listen, I, I, I don't believe this...
425
00:24:53,218 --> 00:24:56,085
but there's been
a terrible, terrible mistake.
426
00:24:56,176 --> 00:24:58,712
And Valerie's
not your mother, Mel.
427
00:24:58,802 --> 00:25:01,291
- What?
- What are you talking about?
Of course she's my mother.
428
00:25:01,385 --> 00:25:04,549
- We have the same forehead.
- And he looks like Uncle Freddie.
- Yeah, I look like Uncle Freddie.
429
00:25:04,635 --> 00:25:07,717
Please, just don't make this any harder
on yourself than it already is.
430
00:25:07,802 --> 00:25:09,793
- Are you positive?
- Yes.
- He's not our brother?
431
00:25:09,885 --> 00:25:12,090
How could you make
a mistake like that? I--
432
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,582
Well, our computer files
were in transition...
433
00:25:14,677 --> 00:25:17,759
and Valerie's son
is named Martin Coplin...
434
00:25:17,845 --> 00:25:21,791
- and he lives in Orlando, Florida--
- What? My son? Who is this man?
435
00:25:21,886 --> 00:25:26,259
Not your son. Mel,
your father is named, uh...
436
00:25:26,345 --> 00:25:29,047
Fritz Boudreau,
and he lives in Gundall, Michigan.
437
00:25:29,136 --> 00:25:33,131
- So I was thinking, maybe on our way
to New York, we could stop off or--
- Who are these people in my home?
438
00:25:33,221 --> 00:25:35,792
-I feel like a complete idiot. I'm so--
-Well, I take these people into my home.
439
00:25:35,887 --> 00:25:39,253
- I know.
- We fly all the way out here,
we have this big, tearful reunion--
- Their child is here.
440
00:25:39,346 --> 00:25:42,130
Yeah, well, get it out, Nancy. It's
gonna make us all feel a lot better.
441
00:25:42,221 --> 00:25:44,626
- Are you humouring me?
- No, I am not humouring you.
- I don't think this is funny.
442
00:25:44,721 --> 00:25:47,837
- I'm very serious. I certainly don't--
- Excuse-- No, excuse me!
I expect you to pay for this damage.
443
00:25:47,929 --> 00:25:52,220
Well, w-wait a minute. You said
it was a gift from God. Remember?
444
00:25:52,305 --> 00:25:54,296
That's when you were my son.
445
00:25:54,388 --> 00:25:57,588
- Well, don't you have
insurance or something?
- And raise my premiums?
446
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:01,176
No, thank you. May I have
my pendant back, please?
447
00:26:01,263 --> 00:26:05,258
- Can we have our shirt back?
- We'd let you keep it. It's just that
we don't have very many of them.
448
00:26:05,348 --> 00:26:08,381
- Yeah. There's only, like, ten left.
- Yeah. No, sure.
- I'm sorry.
449
00:26:08,473 --> 00:26:12,170
- Sorry.
- I understand.
- Thanks.
450
00:26:12,265 --> 00:26:15,428
- Have a nice life.
- Yeah, good luck with this
whole family thing, you know.
451
00:26:15,515 --> 00:26:18,263
- Thank you.
- I hope it works out for you.
452
00:26:18,348 --> 00:26:20,753
You have my other knee pad?
453
00:26:26,932 --> 00:26:28,923
How could you be related? How?
454
00:26:29,016 --> 00:26:33,720
She is a six-foot blonde descendant
from the clan Bucanon.
455
00:26:33,807 --> 00:26:36,640
We were only trying
to be open to them.
456
00:26:36,724 --> 00:26:39,640
Well, we could be open with them,
but we don't have to become them.
457
00:26:39,725 --> 00:26:43,340
I thought she was my mother.
Come on, give me a break.
458
00:26:45,767 --> 00:26:49,595
How did you happen to knock down
those glass shelves, anyway?
459
00:26:51,142 --> 00:26:53,132
I don't know. I just--
460
00:26:53,225 --> 00:26:58,097
You know, we were trying to fix
the camera, and we bumped into them.
461
00:26:58,184 --> 00:27:02,095
It's strange you would just
happen to bump into them.
462
00:27:02,184 --> 00:27:05,301
Well, we were also
Indian wrestling.
463
00:27:06,809 --> 00:27:10,388
Indian wrestling?
What is that?
464
00:27:10,476 --> 00:27:15,051
It's just this game that kids play.
It's a very innocent little kids' game.
465
00:27:15,144 --> 00:27:17,181
Why were you playing that?
466
00:27:18,810 --> 00:27:22,555
Because we were talking
about athleticism in Tina's family...
467
00:27:22,644 --> 00:27:26,684
and then how Valerie's family
was athletic also, and-- I don't know.
468
00:27:37,061 --> 00:27:41,304
- You're attracted to her, aren't you?
- No.
469
00:27:41,395 --> 00:27:44,062
That's okay.
She's attractive.
470
00:27:44,146 --> 00:27:47,843
Yeah, she's attractive,
but I'm, I'm married to you.
471
00:27:47,937 --> 00:27:50,556
You know, she may be attractive,
but she's got a screw loose.
472
00:27:50,646 --> 00:27:52,969
Yes, I agree with you.
She's very eccentric.
473
00:27:53,062 --> 00:27:57,222
But I'm definitely--
I'm in love with you, honey. Honey?
474
00:27:58,396 --> 00:28:01,644
The revolution
came and left today
475
00:28:05,022 --> 00:28:08,352
Nobody knew it came and went
476
00:28:08,438 --> 00:28:11,436
And so did Judgement Day
477
00:28:12,730 --> 00:28:15,728
In somebody else's body
478
00:28:15,813 --> 00:28:17,852
With someone else's head
479
00:28:19,606 --> 00:28:22,355
In somebody else's body
480
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:26,220
When I was someone else instead
481
00:28:26,315 --> 00:28:29,561
In somebody else's body
482
00:28:29,648 --> 00:28:31,934
With someone else's head
483
00:28:32,023 --> 00:28:36,480
When you're in somebody else's body
484
00:28:36,566 --> 00:28:40,773
- In someone else's bed
- Hey, I think this is the place.
485
00:28:49,232 --> 00:28:53,227
- This looks muy macho, doesn't it?
- Creepy to me.
486
00:28:53,317 --> 00:28:55,307
Oh, no, look.
Somebody's coming out, Mel.
487
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,268
Hey! Hi!
488
00:28:59,525 --> 00:29:03,305
- Excuse me. Is one of you fellows
Fritz Boudreau?
- Hey!
489
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,648
- Did I invite you onto my property?
- Hey, take it easy! Take it easy!
490
00:29:06,734 --> 00:29:10,680
- Tina, don't go over there!
- Hey! Oh, my God!
491
00:29:10,776 --> 00:29:14,473
Would you let me explain?
We can talk about--
492
00:29:14,568 --> 00:29:18,063
- Fuck! Run!
- What's happening?
493
00:29:18,151 --> 00:29:20,307
Fuck! The car's this way!
494
00:29:22,463 --> 00:29:25,000
Would you stay away!
Son of a bitch!
495
00:29:25,402 --> 00:29:29,976
- Doesn't he want to see me?
- Well, I felt so bad about San Diego,
I bent the rules a little bit.
496
00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:32,936
- Did you-- Did he-- Did you call them?
- Yes, I tried to!
497
00:29:33,027 --> 00:29:35,397
- His phone isn't working.
- What the fuck you people
talking about?
498
00:29:35,485 --> 00:29:39,266
We just wanted to know if one of you
is Fritz Boudreau, because they said
he was my father.
499
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,727
What did they say?
Who said I'm your father?
500
00:29:42,820 --> 00:29:46,020
- She did.
- The Maidstone Adoption Agency.
501
00:29:46,111 --> 00:29:49,275
Why, you little shit!
Look at this turd face, Mitch!
502
00:29:49,361 --> 00:29:52,692
This turd is my son.
I'm sorry, man. Did we scare you?
503
00:29:52,778 --> 00:29:55,811
- Yeah, a little.
- A little bit.
- We were scared too.
504
00:29:55,903 --> 00:29:59,151
How did we know? I dropped
a lot of baby batter in my day.
505
00:29:59,237 --> 00:30:02,484
- This is the first son I ever met.
- Wow.
- What a wonderful moment.
506
00:30:02,571 --> 00:30:06,316
- I wish I had my camera.
- You picked a hell of a time
to drop by, turd face.
507
00:30:06,404 --> 00:30:12,271
- Well, your phone wasn't working.
- Nah, I don't need no son to give me
no guilt trip about a phone.
508
00:30:12,362 --> 00:30:15,397
Fritzie, Fritzie,
we gotta get goin', pal.
509
00:30:15,488 --> 00:30:17,278
- Remember?
- Shit.
- What?
510
00:30:17,363 --> 00:30:19,401
- Come on.
- Goin' somewhere?
- Yeah.
511
00:30:19,488 --> 00:30:23,565
- Where do you have to go?
- We gotta get the wheels balanced
for a big trip tomorrow.
512
00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:26,688
- Where you goin'?
- After Eugene balances the wheels...
513
00:30:26,780 --> 00:30:30,609
- we're gonna be out
for about three weeks.
- Three weeks? Really?
- Damn.
514
00:30:30,698 --> 00:30:34,146
- Bad timing.
- Why don't we bring 'em along?
515
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:37,486
Huh? You know, it's only
20 minutes over to Eugene's.
516
00:30:37,573 --> 00:30:40,357
- Yeah. Come on with us.
- What? In the truck?
517
00:30:40,448 --> 00:30:43,019
- Hey, you ever been in a truck before?
- No, not really.
518
00:30:47,157 --> 00:30:49,859
How do you like this?
First time in a rig, huh?
519
00:30:49,949 --> 00:30:53,149
- It's great.
- It's really fabulous, Mr Boudreau.
520
00:30:53,241 --> 00:30:56,357
Some people look down on drivers,
like we're low class.
521
00:30:56,449 --> 00:30:59,612
Not me. I always wanted to learn
how to drive a big rig.
522
00:30:59,699 --> 00:31:02,484
- You never told me that.
- Well, I might not have voiced it
until now...
523
00:31:02,575 --> 00:31:05,822
-but it's always been a fantasy of mine.
-You want a lesson?
524
00:31:05,908 --> 00:31:08,148
- You'd give me a lesson?
- Sure! Why not?
525
00:31:08,242 --> 00:31:10,446
Let's not do this
while the baby's in the truck.
526
00:31:10,533 --> 00:31:13,282
- Don't you trust me?
- Of course I trust you.
527
00:31:13,367 --> 00:31:17,360
- But he's never done this before.
- She's not gonna let you drive
the truck, so forget about it.
528
00:31:17,450 --> 00:31:20,366
- Are you sayin' my son's a bitch boy?
- I didn't say that!
529
00:31:20,451 --> 00:31:23,200
- What's your name again?
- Mel.
530
00:31:23,284 --> 00:31:25,441
You ain't no bitch boy,
are ya, Mel?
531
00:31:25,534 --> 00:31:28,283
No, I don't believe
I'm a bitch boy.
532
00:31:28,368 --> 00:31:30,691
Don't let him bait you
into doing something stupid, Mel.
533
00:31:30,784 --> 00:31:32,775
Nancy, Mel needs your support now.
534
00:31:32,868 --> 00:31:35,237
- Yeah, I need your support, honey.
- Yeah.
535
00:31:35,326 --> 00:31:37,448
- I support you, Mel.
- Me too!
536
00:31:37,535 --> 00:31:41,031
I wanna get out.
You're acting like a real asshole.
537
00:31:41,119 --> 00:31:43,109
Pussy-whipped.
538
00:31:52,578 --> 00:31:55,493
We're comin' back in 15 minutes.
What's the big deal?
539
00:31:55,578 --> 00:31:59,442
Hey! Get away!
Have a great trip, okay?
540
00:31:59,536 --> 00:32:04,158
- We'll be supporting you from out here.
May I have my baby, please?
- Nancy.
541
00:32:04,245 --> 00:32:09,033
Just send us a postcard,
'cause we'll be right here
at the Gundall Post Office, okay?
542
00:32:09,121 --> 00:32:12,700
This isn't gonna take long, honey.
Just calm down.
543
00:32:12,787 --> 00:32:16,568
So remember,
it's like a butterfly's wings.
Use a little gas, a little clutch.
544
00:32:16,662 --> 00:32:19,329
- A little gas, a little clutch.
- A little gas, a little clutch.
What happens if I hit this?
545
00:32:19,412 --> 00:32:24,828
- What does that do? Is that okay?
- You know somethin'? You got a--
You got a kind of Jew look, don't you?
546
00:32:24,912 --> 00:32:28,445
Well, the people who raised me
are Jewish. Maybe that's
what you're picking up on.
547
00:32:28,538 --> 00:32:30,825
They-They gave you
a real ''Hebe'' look, kid.
548
00:32:30,913 --> 00:32:33,698
- Mitch, don't say that.
That's not nice.
- Wait a second. Wait--
549
00:32:33,788 --> 00:32:38,446
No, it's not a Jew face. It's--
It's a face like Old Needledick's!
550
00:32:38,538 --> 00:32:41,621
Yeah! You're not in some kind
of science, are you, kid?
551
00:32:41,706 --> 00:32:43,862
Science? Actually,
I'm an entomologist.
552
00:32:43,956 --> 00:32:46,112
-Entomologist sounds like science to me.
-Wait, wait, wait.
553
00:32:46,206 --> 00:32:48,327
Who's-Who's Old Needledick?
What are you talking about?
554
00:32:48,415 --> 00:32:52,111
When I met your mother, I was ridin'
with the Angels in Oakland, Cal.
555
00:32:52,206 --> 00:32:54,197
- Uh-huh. The Hell's Angels? Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
556
00:32:54,290 --> 00:32:56,695
And we got invited
to all these fancy parties...
557
00:32:56,790 --> 00:32:59,658
because rich people liked
to hang around with the Angels...
558
00:32:59,749 --> 00:33:02,320
and musical bands and whatnot.
559
00:33:02,416 --> 00:33:06,907
And your mother
meets this guy, Richard Schlich--
560
00:33:06,999 --> 00:33:10,365
- I can never pronounce
that cocksucker's name.
- Schlichling.
561
00:33:10,457 --> 00:33:13,408
Okay, okay. So she meets this guy,
Richard Schlich-- Schlichling.
562
00:33:13,499 --> 00:33:17,079
-And what? What? They went off together?
-They ran off together...
563
00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:19,869
to Antelope Wells.
564
00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:23,704
- You're saying--
- This can't be happening.
565
00:33:23,792 --> 00:33:26,245
You're saying you're not sure
if you're my father?
566
00:33:26,333 --> 00:33:29,497
- I'm sorry to disappoint you.
- But the records show...
567
00:33:29,583 --> 00:33:32,251
that-that you're the one
who brought him into the agency.
568
00:33:32,334 --> 00:33:37,371
I did a good deed as a favour, because
his mother and father were indisposed.
569
00:33:37,459 --> 00:33:40,292
- Indisposed how?
- You'll have to ask your mother
about that.
570
00:33:40,376 --> 00:33:43,291
But we don't know where she is.
So isn't it possible...
571
00:33:43,376 --> 00:33:45,662
that you got her pregnant
before she left you?
572
00:33:45,751 --> 00:33:49,331
- No, no, no! With this face,
this science thing--
- Hey, we're movin' backwards here.
573
00:33:49,419 --> 00:33:52,037
- Where's the brake? Do I--
- Put it in first.
574
00:33:54,877 --> 00:33:57,626
Oh, my God! Mel!
575
00:34:01,377 --> 00:34:04,909
I don't think it's wrong
to want to take a driving lesson
with your father, right?
576
00:34:05,003 --> 00:34:07,835
- I'm not speaking to you.
- Sweetie, I'm sorry about this.
577
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,083
Give me a kiss.
Sweetie, give me--
578
00:34:11,170 --> 00:34:14,037
- Hey, Mr Boudreau,
where is Antelope Wells?
- Please step off.
579
00:34:14,128 --> 00:34:16,877
- Sorry, do you know
where Antelope Wells is?
- I have no idea.Just--
580
00:34:16,961 --> 00:34:20,409
She doesn't know
what the hell she's doing.
That man was a lunatic, a stranger!
581
00:34:20,503 --> 00:34:24,201
- Okay, okay.
- Mr Boudreau, please, before you go...
582
00:34:24,296 --> 00:34:27,128
- Tommy, get her off me! Move!
-just tell me where Antelope Wells is.
583
00:34:27,212 --> 00:34:31,123
- When I say step off, I mean step off!
- Hey! I am from New York, okay?
584
00:34:31,212 --> 00:34:35,537
On the upside, Antelope Wells
should be warmer than this place.
585
00:34:35,629 --> 00:34:38,794
So we're just gonna jump on a plane
to New Mexico? Is that it?
586
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,162
Well, I think that we should finish
what we started.
587
00:34:42,963 --> 00:34:45,630
Agent Paul Harmon,
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
588
00:34:45,713 --> 00:34:48,498
This is Agent Tony Kent.
Now let's see.
589
00:34:48,588 --> 00:34:52,878
You, uh, you thought this
Fritz Boudreau was your father,
but, in fact, he's not your father.
590
00:34:52,963 --> 00:34:56,247
- Well, no, I--
- Tony. Tony Kent.
591
00:34:56,340 --> 00:34:59,871
- Nancy Curwin.
- This is unbelievable!
592
00:34:59,965 --> 00:35:01,955
We went to high school
together in Chicago.
593
00:35:02,048 --> 00:35:04,999
- You look fantastic!
- Now--
- No!
594
00:35:05,090 --> 00:35:07,625
- God!
- What are you doing in this police job?
595
00:35:07,715 --> 00:35:10,797
Oh, I need a health plan
while I'm writing my first book.
What are you doing now?
596
00:35:10,882 --> 00:35:13,169
- I'm curating.
- Excuse me. Excuse me. There's
something here we gotta take care of.
597
00:35:13,257 --> 00:35:16,954
- Okay?
- I'm sorry, Paul. Go ahead.
598
00:35:17,049 --> 00:35:20,912
You do know it's a Federal offence
to destroy a United States post office.
599
00:35:21,007 --> 00:35:23,496
Well, it wasn't like it was
some premeditated act of terrorism.
600
00:35:23,591 --> 00:35:25,581
- You know what I mean?
- I'll be the judge of that.
601
00:35:25,674 --> 00:35:28,756
Now, the ostensible purpose
for this truck ride was what exactly?
602
00:35:28,842 --> 00:35:30,916
He was giving me a lesson.
It was very simple.
603
00:35:31,008 --> 00:35:34,504
- He just wanted to teach me
how to drive the truck.
- This baby is beautiful.
604
00:35:34,592 --> 00:35:36,712
- Thanks.
- Oh, gorgeous blue eyes.
605
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,715
- Tony, Tony, Tony.
- You know, he looks a lot like you.
606
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,288
- Tony. Tony.
- Thank you.
-Just-- In a minute.
607
00:35:42,383 --> 00:35:45,501
- Give the baby back.
- Hey, feel his little grip.
It's so strong.
608
00:35:45,593 --> 00:35:48,295
- Feel it.
-Jesus Christ!
609
00:35:48,384 --> 00:35:50,837
- Hey.
- I'm s-- I'm--
610
00:35:50,926 --> 00:35:53,924
- You're under way too much stress.
- Listen, this man drove a semi
into a Federal building.
611
00:35:54,009 --> 00:35:56,545
You were gonna give him a warning.
It's an accident, remember.
612
00:35:56,634 --> 00:35:59,751
- There's certain procedures
that you have to follow.
- Right. He's got a valid licence.
613
00:35:59,843 --> 00:36:02,379
- Not to drive a truck! He does not!
- It was the trucker's fault...
614
00:36:02,469 --> 00:36:06,130
- for letting him drive
in the first place.
- All right, okay.
Can I talk with you in private?
615
00:36:15,677 --> 00:36:17,799
This is my investigation.
616
00:36:17,886 --> 00:36:20,719
- I just said you didn't
have to suspend his licence.
- Here, I'll take the baby.
617
00:36:20,803 --> 00:36:24,500
- You gotta start taking the job--
- So what's the deal with this guy, huh?
618
00:36:24,595 --> 00:36:28,292
- We went to high school together.
- You just went to high school together?
619
00:36:28,386 --> 00:36:31,468
- Mm-hmm.
- Did you know him well, or is it--
620
00:36:31,553 --> 00:36:34,754
- He was on the football team.
- Oh, the football team. Oh.
621
00:36:34,846 --> 00:36:39,752
- It's not a murder.
It's-It's not a bank robbery.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.
622
00:36:39,846 --> 00:36:43,009
-Just cut the baby crap.
- Oh, all right. I'm sorry.
623
00:36:54,222 --> 00:36:57,255
So it looks like
this Boudreau fellow...
624
00:36:57,347 --> 00:37:00,629
is gonna take the rap
for you driving the truck, so...
625
00:37:00,722 --> 00:37:03,210
I'm just gonna give you a warning.
626
00:37:05,097 --> 00:37:07,088
But I'm-- If you--
627
00:37:07,181 --> 00:37:11,305
If you drive a truck again, they're
gonna take your licence away for sure.
628
00:37:11,389 --> 00:37:12,503
- Okay.
- You understand?
629
00:37:12,598 --> 00:37:15,430
Yes, I understand. Thank you.
630
00:37:16,306 --> 00:37:19,174
- Is that it? Are we free to go now?
- You are free to go, yes.
631
00:37:19,264 --> 00:37:22,547
- Great. Let's get out of here.
- Uh, hey, do you guys
have a place to stay tonight?
632
00:37:22,639 --> 00:37:24,963
- Probably check into a motel.
- No, don't do that.
633
00:37:25,057 --> 00:37:28,470
- There's so many wonderful B-and-B's
right here in Lake Michigan.
- Oh, I hate B-and-B's.
634
00:37:28,557 --> 00:37:32,337
-Why do you hate B-and-B's?
-Well, first of all, there's no privacy.
635
00:37:32,432 --> 00:37:35,549
- No privacy. Uh-huh.
- Yeah. And you have to,
you have to make chitchat...
636
00:37:35,641 --> 00:37:38,722
- with the boring old lady
who runs the place--
- That's kind of the fun, isn't it?
637
00:37:38,807 --> 00:37:41,759
Yeah, there's always the little cat,
little cat-- You have to pretend
like you like the cat.
638
00:37:41,850 --> 00:37:44,801
Yeah, well, whatever we do, we need
to eat first, 'cause I'm starving.
639
00:37:44,892 --> 00:37:47,380
- Why don't we take you out to dinner?
- Are we apologizing for the arrest?
640
00:37:47,475 --> 00:37:49,466
No, but it would be nice
to catch up with Nancy.
641
00:37:49,558 --> 00:37:52,129
- We could take them to Minetti's.
- Minetti's is great...
642
00:37:52,225 --> 00:37:54,892
- but you're not gonna get a reservation
this time of night at Minetti's.
- You know what? Thanks. Thanks anyway.
643
00:37:54,975 --> 00:37:58,306
- But we'll be fine, really.
- See? We don't want to intrude, Tony.
644
00:37:58,393 --> 00:38:02,007
No, no, no, no, no. Don't be silly.
We're getting sick of each other's
company anyways.
645
00:38:02,101 --> 00:38:03,891
- Oh.
- You see? I told you.
646
00:38:05,226 --> 00:38:07,761
- Hey, stop that!
- I can't believe you're a writer now.
647
00:38:07,851 --> 00:38:13,517
Well, an aspiring writer.
I'm trying to get this whole book
together, this crime fiction thing.
648
00:38:13,602 --> 00:38:17,133
You were such a jock in high school.
You were so wild.
649
00:38:17,227 --> 00:38:20,427
I know. And you were
such an egghead, remember?
650
00:38:20,519 --> 00:38:22,924
- No.
- You were an egghead.
- No!
651
00:38:23,019 --> 00:38:26,301
- So what I'm asking is, you fly
into Albuquerque and then rent a car...
- We're going to Texas tomorrow.
652
00:38:26,394 --> 00:38:29,891
- and how far--
- It's way down. Way down at the
southeastern corner of the state.
653
00:38:29,978 --> 00:38:32,893
- Wait. Excuse me.
Have you been there before?
- It's almost in Mexico, in fact.
I've been near there.
654
00:38:32,978 --> 00:38:37,434
- Antelope Wells is right near
the White Sands National Monument.
- Uh-huh.
655
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:41,264
They've got this fantastic,
uh, hot springs nearby
that not many people know about.
656
00:38:41,353 --> 00:38:45,347
Oh, I wish you could come along and show
me around while Mel meets his family.
657
00:38:45,437 --> 00:38:49,348
- You have the personal days.
You should do it, Paul.
- I can't take time off work right now.
658
00:38:49,437 --> 00:38:52,008
- Unbelievable line at the bathroom!
- I told 'em they gotta get
a bigger bathroom.
659
00:38:52,104 --> 00:38:55,766
Look at him. He loves you.
You're wonderful with children.
660
00:38:55,854 --> 00:39:00,097
Oh, I want one of these
so badly. I'm telling you.
661
00:39:00,187 --> 00:39:03,933
Hey, could you help me out
with an adoption, Tina?
662
00:39:04,772 --> 00:39:08,386
Well, that depends on the specifics
of your situation.
663
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:12,095
- Well, like what?
- Number one: Are you married?
664
00:39:12,188 --> 00:39:14,393
- Yes.
- Number two: Does your spouse work?
665
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,475
- Yeah.
- And is she willing to adopt?
- You see, that's where the snag is.
666
00:39:18,564 --> 00:39:20,602
Then you've got a real problem.
667
00:39:22,314 --> 00:39:25,017
What would my chances be
as a single parent?
668
00:39:25,106 --> 00:39:28,388
- Excuse me, please.
- Why can't you stay and discuss this?
669
00:39:30,314 --> 00:39:33,976
- 'Cause I believe in privacy,
that's why.
- Right. We have nothing
to be ashamed of, though.
670
00:39:34,064 --> 00:39:37,431
Because I don't want
to share my personal life
with everybody I meet, okay?
671
00:39:37,524 --> 00:39:39,810
She's not just anyone.
She works in an adoption agency.
672
00:39:39,899 --> 00:39:43,478
I thought that she
could be helpful. God!
673
00:39:43,566 --> 00:39:48,306
You know, I keep telling him
that having a baby will reduce stress
by taking his mind off work...
674
00:39:48,399 --> 00:39:51,730
but he just--
he doesn't listen, you know?
675
00:39:51,817 --> 00:39:55,017
So where did you folks come down
on the big circumcision controversy?
676
00:39:55,108 --> 00:39:57,431
'Cause, you know, there's a movement
afoot these days to keep the foreskin...
677
00:39:57,525 --> 00:40:02,561
and, personally, I think a boy's penis
should look just like his father's.
678
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:05,601
- You know?
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Can I have the baby?
679
00:40:05,692 --> 00:40:10,599
Oh, sure. Yeah.
Here we go. Oh, so cute.
680
00:40:17,401 --> 00:40:22,817
My late husband devised
his own anti-erosion system...
681
00:40:22,901 --> 00:40:28,318
that later on we had patented
on the advice of a dear friend...
682
00:40:28,402 --> 00:40:33,355
who was in a law office
with Gerald Ford.
683
00:40:33,444 --> 00:40:38,101
My brother has the same birthday
as President Ford...
684
00:40:38,194 --> 00:40:41,560
who is a very sweet man.
685
00:40:41,653 --> 00:40:44,023
We met him twice.
686
00:40:45,945 --> 00:40:50,851
Once at a political rally
and once at a golf tournament.
687
00:40:50,945 --> 00:40:54,275
And his wife
is such a sweet lady.
688
00:40:54,361 --> 00:40:57,359
Betty Ford is so pretty.
689
00:40:57,445 --> 00:41:00,017
And why couldn't we go to a motel?
690
00:41:00,112 --> 00:41:03,525
Because at a motel
we don't have the bonus...
691
00:41:03,612 --> 00:41:09,063
of someone related
to Gerald Ford's birthday.
692
00:41:09,154 --> 00:41:12,851
We forgot your father's birthday.
693
00:41:12,946 --> 00:41:15,186
Oh, fuck.
694
00:41:19,988 --> 00:41:22,903
- Hello?
- Hi, Mom.
695
00:41:22,988 --> 00:41:25,228
So, how's the psychic healing going?
696
00:41:25,322 --> 00:41:27,893
I am really sorry we didn't
get back for Dad's birthday.
697
00:41:27,988 --> 00:41:30,774
It's all right. We'll try it again
when he turns 65...
698
00:41:30,864 --> 00:41:33,483
provided he lives that long
and you're not too busy.
699
00:41:33,573 --> 00:41:35,943
- I said I was sorry.
- Why are you whispering?
700
00:41:36,031 --> 00:41:39,278
- Because I'm not supposed
to be using this phone.
- Are you all right?
701
00:41:39,364 --> 00:41:41,569
We're fine. It's just--
There was a big mix-up in San Diego...
702
00:41:41,656 --> 00:41:44,441
and then I ended up flattening
a post office with a truck.
703
00:41:44,531 --> 00:41:47,280
- What truck?
- Truck? What's happening with a truck?
704
00:41:47,366 --> 00:41:50,566
We had the wrong information.
But we have the right information now,
and we're going to New Mexico.
705
00:41:50,657 --> 00:41:53,442
- New Mexico?
- Tell him they got uranium
in the water down there.
706
00:41:53,532 --> 00:41:55,653
Shush. He's in
some kind of trouble.
707
00:41:55,741 --> 00:41:57,861
- Did your car get bumped in San Diego?
- No!
708
00:41:57,949 --> 00:42:00,616
I mean, yes, there was
a minor incident. Nothing--
709
00:42:00,699 --> 00:42:04,989
No, no! We don't do this here,
unless it's an emergency.
710
00:42:05,075 --> 00:42:07,279
- What's the emergency?
- Is it the baby?
711
00:42:07,367 --> 00:42:10,033
-Oh, my God! What's wrong with the baby?
-The baby is fine.
712
00:42:10,117 --> 00:42:12,237
- Good. Then hang up.
- Do you need help?
713
00:42:12,325 --> 00:42:15,239
- Things aren't--
- Do you see this sign?
''No phone calls after 8:00 p.m.
714
00:42:15,325 --> 00:42:19,153
- Use gas station at corner.''
- All right. Could I, could I
just have 30 seconds, please?
715
00:42:19,242 --> 00:42:21,648
No. Do you want to pay
my phone bills?
716
00:42:21,743 --> 00:42:23,733
- Thirty seconds.
- Hang up!
717
00:42:23,826 --> 00:42:26,231
- Is that tyrant your mother?
- No. I have to go, all right?
718
00:42:26,326 --> 00:42:29,110
- We're gonna be with the Schlichtings.
- The ''Shitkings''?
719
00:42:29,201 --> 00:42:32,567
- What kind of a name is Shitking?
- Schlichting. Schlichting.
They're my parents.
720
00:42:32,659 --> 00:42:35,195
- What kind of a name is Shitking?
- Verboten means verboten!
- I don't know.
721
00:42:35,284 --> 00:42:38,367
I think it's German.
We're gonna be in Antelope Wells.
722
00:42:39,660 --> 00:42:42,694
Hello? Mel?
723
00:42:43,660 --> 00:42:46,742
- I used my calling card.
- That's not the point!
724
00:43:01,078 --> 00:43:03,745
I think something terrible
is happening to him.
725
00:43:03,828 --> 00:43:06,363
- Calm down, calm down.
- I can't calm down!
726
00:43:06,453 --> 00:43:09,653
- What did he say?
- We have to do something.
727
00:43:09,745 --> 00:43:12,281
- All right, well, we'll call back.
- We can't call back.
728
00:43:12,371 --> 00:43:15,322
He's on his way
to New Mexico, for God's sake!
729
00:43:15,412 --> 00:43:18,743
Who knows what kind of people he's with?
Anything is possible.
730
00:43:18,829 --> 00:43:21,152
Don't say that!
You're starting to scare me.
731
00:43:21,246 --> 00:43:23,616
- I am not. You were already scared.
- I was not!
732
00:43:23,704 --> 00:43:26,620
- Yes, you were.
- Eddie, we have to do something!
733
00:43:26,705 --> 00:43:29,489
Like what?
There's nothing we can do.
734
00:43:30,163 --> 00:43:34,157
- The kitchen's off-limits after 8:00.
- What are you, her spy?
735
00:43:34,247 --> 00:43:38,193
- Why didn't you use Tina's phone?
- 'Cause Tina's phone isn't working.
736
00:43:38,288 --> 00:43:41,654
You know, it's starting to feel like
this whole thing is a big waste of time.
737
00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:47,407
- You're feeling frustrated.
- Yes, I'm feeling very frustrated.
738
00:43:47,498 --> 00:43:50,247
I was worried your expectations
were too high for all of this.
739
00:43:50,331 --> 00:43:54,028
- You know, maybe we should just
forget everything and go home.
- Don't do that.
740
00:43:54,123 --> 00:43:57,535
You always get so pessimistic
when you're close to finishing
something you've started.
741
00:43:57,623 --> 00:43:59,910
- I do not.
- Yes, you do.
You did it with the apartment.
742
00:43:59,999 --> 00:44:04,123
You loved it so much. The day we go to
sign the lease, you start freaking out.
743
00:44:04,207 --> 00:44:08,118
And the wedding.
How many times did you change the date?
744
00:44:08,832 --> 00:44:11,119
You're right. You're right.
I do this all the time.
745
00:44:11,207 --> 00:44:13,577
So stick to your plan
for once, okay?
746
00:44:13,666 --> 00:44:16,581
If you want to find your parents,
find your parents.
747
00:44:22,208 --> 00:44:24,661
- Oh!
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
748
00:44:24,750 --> 00:44:29,573
- Are you okay? You seem upset.
- I owe you a big apology.
749
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:33,827
I mean, this was--
this is not the way I planned this trip,
not the way I wanted it to turn out.
750
00:44:33,918 --> 00:44:37,164
Look, look, it's been kind of difficult,
but I think we've gotten past the bumps.
751
00:44:37,251 --> 00:44:39,786
You know, I feel, I feel really good
about, about where we're going.
752
00:44:39,876 --> 00:44:42,957
I really think it's gonna be great.
753
00:44:44,209 --> 00:44:47,456
You're such an optimist.
Where does that come from?
754
00:44:50,627 --> 00:44:54,158
Well, you know, I've always said it's
a mistake to let pessimism take over...
755
00:44:54,252 --> 00:44:57,167
right before you're
about to finish something.
756
00:44:57,252 --> 00:45:02,039
That's the complete
opposite of my ex-husband.
He was such a pessimistic pig.
757
00:45:04,460 --> 00:45:07,495
Well, I think you're doing
a great job. Really.
758
00:45:07,586 --> 00:45:09,826
- Really.
- Thanks.
759
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:12,325
- Good night.
- Good night. Good night.
760
00:45:34,254 --> 00:45:36,245
Thanks.
761
00:45:38,212 --> 00:45:40,204
Shit.
762
00:45:50,463 --> 00:45:53,545
What was that noise?
Did you drop something?
763
00:45:53,630 --> 00:45:57,755
Goddam cat flew out of nowhere.
Scared the hell out of me.
764
00:45:57,839 --> 00:46:00,707
- What are you doing?
- Huh?
765
00:46:00,798 --> 00:46:03,961
- Where'd you get the pup tent?
- I--
766
00:46:04,048 --> 00:46:07,046
I'm feeling very sexual.
I don't know.
767
00:46:07,131 --> 00:46:09,287
I'm just feeling like I want to--
768
00:46:10,923 --> 00:46:15,628
Wait. Let me just
take my glasses off.
769
00:46:17,049 --> 00:46:21,292
Wait a second. Wait, Mel!
Mel, look at me.
770
00:46:23,549 --> 00:46:26,168
Just slow down for a second.
Let's take our time.
771
00:46:26,257 --> 00:46:28,747
- Look at me.
- Huh? Why?
772
00:46:28,842 --> 00:46:31,164
- Why aren't you looking at me?
- What? What? I'm looking at you!
773
00:46:31,258 --> 00:46:35,003
- Why do I have to look at you? I mean--
- Well, why can't you look at me?
774
00:46:42,550 --> 00:46:45,466
I don't know.
I don't know what's going on.
775
00:46:45,551 --> 00:46:48,170
I mean, don't you ever think
that maybe it's not natural...
776
00:46:48,259 --> 00:46:50,380
for two people to be together
their entire lives?
777
00:46:50,468 --> 00:46:54,164
- Do you ever think that?
- Oh, I get it.
778
00:46:55,676 --> 00:46:57,962
Your parents
weren't good enough for you...
779
00:46:58,051 --> 00:47:03,088
and now I'm not good enough for you
because Tina's a skinny dancer, right?
780
00:47:03,177 --> 00:47:05,214
- No. What?
- You know, it takes some women...
781
00:47:05,302 --> 00:47:08,584
more than a year to get back to their
normal weight after having a baby.
782
00:47:08,677 --> 00:47:14,377
- You are not good B-and-B people!
- Yeah, well, that's because
we hate B-and-B's!
783
00:47:14,635 --> 00:47:17,882
- Thanks.
- Look, we need to talk.
784
00:47:17,969 --> 00:47:23,670
- Okay.
- I'm, I'm not sure I'm ready for
an affair with a married man right now.
785
00:47:23,761 --> 00:47:27,802
I'm feeling just as confused as you are,
okay? About the whole thing, all right?
786
00:47:27,886 --> 00:47:30,422
I'm in the middle of a divorce.
I'm going to school at night.
787
00:47:30,511 --> 00:47:32,751
You know, I need to be taken
seriously as a woman.
788
00:47:32,845 --> 00:47:35,844
I want to have my own children.
I want to have my own life, you know?
789
00:47:35,929 --> 00:47:39,970
Not just some sort of vicarious
semblance of like somebody else's life.
790
00:47:42,554 --> 00:47:45,173
Shit.
791
00:47:45,262 --> 00:47:47,253
- What's the matter with her?
- Hi.
792
00:47:47,346 --> 00:47:51,293
She's upset about the way everything's
going. She's really-- Yeah.
793
00:47:51,388 --> 00:47:55,334
Listen, I feel like I owe you
an apology about last night.
794
00:47:55,430 --> 00:47:57,634
- Okay.
- Well, I mean, I think
we should discuss it...
795
00:47:57,722 --> 00:47:59,878
- because, you know,
there's two sides to everything.
- Hey, you guys!
796
00:47:59,972 --> 00:48:02,839
That doesn't sound
like an apology.
797
00:48:02,930 --> 00:48:05,004
What the hell?
798
00:48:05,097 --> 00:48:07,218
- Hey!
- Hello again, strangers.
799
00:48:07,305 --> 00:48:11,134
- Hey. Hi.
- I'm sorry that I stormed out
like that last night.
800
00:48:11,223 --> 00:48:13,972
But I suffer from hypertension.
You probably already knew that.
801
00:48:14,056 --> 00:48:18,512
The whole thing was a blessing, really,
because it finally made Paul realize
how much he needs some R-and-R.
802
00:48:18,598 --> 00:48:21,761
- Sometimes you gotta be zonked
on the head. What can I say?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
803
00:48:21,848 --> 00:48:24,598
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You guys are going to New Mexico?
- We're goin', yeah.
804
00:48:24,682 --> 00:48:27,680
Nothing like a cruel acceptance
of a casual invitation, right?
805
00:48:27,766 --> 00:48:30,966
- Invitation? What invitation?
- I think you were in the bathroom.
806
00:48:31,057 --> 00:48:34,091
- Oops. Did we jump the gun here?
- No, this'll be fine.
807
00:48:34,182 --> 00:48:36,386
No, wait. What do you mean
it's fine? It's fine?
808
00:48:36,474 --> 00:48:39,176
- We're sightseeing.
We're not gonna get in your way.
- I'm glad to have the company.
809
00:48:39,266 --> 00:48:42,513
- It's gonna be fun.
- Look, we already checked in. Why don't
I find a row for the baby, okay?
810
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:44,591
- Terrific!
- Okay. Bye-bye.
- Thanks.
811
00:48:44,683 --> 00:48:47,302
- Bye.
- We'll see you on board, Mel.
812
00:48:47,392 --> 00:48:50,425
I'm sorry about that.
I didn't expect them to show up, honey.
813
00:48:50,517 --> 00:48:53,680
- So what? You just had
a little extra hostility to work out?
- It isn't hostility.
814
00:48:53,767 --> 00:48:56,800
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- I just barely mentioned it to them.
- Right, great, great.
- Right?
815
00:48:56,892 --> 00:48:59,381
- Great, great.
- Right?
- Whatever, okay?
816
00:48:59,476 --> 00:49:02,842
I wasn't circumcised
until I was a year old.
817
00:49:02,934 --> 00:49:05,601
- Wow! Why?
- I had hypospadias.
818
00:49:05,684 --> 00:49:10,057
- What is that?
- Here you are, sir.
- Well, hypospadias is like
a curvature of the penis that--
819
00:49:10,143 --> 00:49:12,631
- They have to adjust it
with a whole operation.
- Really?
820
00:49:12,726 --> 00:49:15,050
- Yeah. I had it done when I was young.
I mean, it's fine now.
- Oh, wow.
821
00:49:15,144 --> 00:49:18,888
- Here you go. Honey?
- What?
- Why don't you cover yourself, hmm?
822
00:49:18,977 --> 00:49:22,141
I just finished nursing him, okay?
823
00:49:24,685 --> 00:49:27,719
Ever heard of hypospadias?
824
00:49:27,810 --> 00:49:30,644
Is there something wrong
with the plane?
825
00:49:32,728 --> 00:49:37,018
- How, how is the nipple irritation?
- It's really bad, actually.
826
00:49:37,103 --> 00:49:39,094
You know why?
'Cause I, I was watching you...
827
00:49:39,186 --> 00:49:42,967
and I think you might be holding him
at the wrong angle. Hey, I meant--
828
00:49:43,061 --> 00:49:45,976
- I've been doing this for a while now.
- Oh, I know you have.
829
00:49:46,061 --> 00:49:49,843
But, but, you see, when he's under,
when he's under your breast like this...
830
00:49:49,937 --> 00:49:54,559
- Mm-hmm.
- and, see, he pulls down on the nipple
which obviously causes more irritation.
831
00:49:54,646 --> 00:49:58,639
- But if you're out here and bring him
straight into the breasts--
- Uh-huh.
832
00:49:58,729 --> 00:50:04,016
- You know? I mean--
- How'd you get to be
such an expert on all this?
833
00:50:04,105 --> 00:50:06,724
- I went out with a woman
who was a midwife.
- Really?
834
00:50:06,813 --> 00:50:10,261
- Yeah. You have very beautiful
breasts, by the way.
- Thank you.
835
00:50:10,355 --> 00:50:12,346
I re--
I remember them from high school.
836
00:50:12,438 --> 00:50:15,520
- Do you?
- Yeah. No, not that I was
like looking at them...
837
00:50:15,605 --> 00:50:17,845
but, I mean,
I just saw them in passing.
838
00:50:17,938 --> 00:50:21,305
- Hey, Paul?
- Yes, here.
- Do you mind finding another seat?
839
00:50:21,398 --> 00:50:26,138
- I won't look.
- No, no, no, no. We need it
for the baby to stretch out.
840
00:50:26,231 --> 00:50:29,264
- It would really help us out.
- Oh. Another seat, huh?
841
00:50:29,356 --> 00:50:31,726
- Yeah.
- Oh, ok-- Yeah.
842
00:50:31,814 --> 00:50:35,310
- Yeah? Great.
- Thanks a million. Thanks.
- No, that's--
843
00:50:35,398 --> 00:50:37,638
- Okay.
- Thanks.
- All right.
844
00:50:37,732 --> 00:50:40,849
- Hey, thanks for the water.
- Yeah.
- That's the headache pressure point.
845
00:50:40,941 --> 00:50:44,520
- Mmm.
- Can you feel it?
- Yeah.
846
00:50:44,607 --> 00:50:48,352
Is there something happening here
that I haven't been clued into yet?
847
00:50:48,441 --> 00:50:51,771
Paul, would you mind
finding another seat?
848
00:50:51,857 --> 00:50:56,432
This is wonderful. This is great.
I just-- I can't believe how naive I am.
849
00:50:56,525 --> 00:50:59,606
Sir, I can't have you moving around.
Please sit in your assigned seat, okay?
850
00:50:59,692 --> 00:51:03,520
Okay, okay.
Is anybody sitting here?
851
00:51:03,608 --> 00:51:07,056
Does anybody actually own a white
Taurus, or are they all just rentals?
852
00:51:07,150 --> 00:51:10,812
Are you kidding me? This is
the most reliable mid-size in America,
according to all the big reports.
853
00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:13,816
I'm feeling very depressed,
and I would like to talk about
what's happening here.
854
00:51:13,901 --> 00:51:17,267
- What are you feeling depressed about?
- I feel like there's an agenda
and it's not what I had in mind.
855
00:51:17,359 --> 00:51:20,357
- What agenda?
- Well, do I have to spell it out?
I'm the fifth wheel here.
856
00:51:20,443 --> 00:51:24,139
- How do you think that makes me feel?
- We're riding in two cars until we get
to the B-and-B, Paul.
857
00:51:24,234 --> 00:51:26,902
- That's not an agenda.
- Let's just hit the road, okay?
858
00:51:26,985 --> 00:51:29,687
You don't mind
if he rides with you, right?
859
00:51:29,777 --> 00:51:32,609
- Why can't he ride with you?
- See what you're doing to me?
860
00:51:32,694 --> 00:51:36,522
- Ride with us.
I don't care. Ride with us.
- Oh, that's so generous of you, Tony.
861
00:51:36,610 --> 00:51:39,443
You know, I think I'll ride
with illicit couple number two.
862
00:51:42,402 --> 00:51:45,436
Oh, no. He does this to me
every eight months.
863
00:51:45,528 --> 00:51:49,059
-I ought to get used to it by now, but--
-What? What does he do?
864
00:51:49,153 --> 00:51:52,270
He gets antsy and he runs off
with somebody else.
865
00:51:52,361 --> 00:51:55,727
Well, I think that that's common,
you know, among certain types
of married men.
866
00:51:55,820 --> 00:51:58,143
I'm the rock, he's the flake.
So that's life.
867
00:51:58,236 --> 00:52:02,527
That's exactly what my ex-husband
used to say when he was trying
to feel superior to me.
868
00:52:02,612 --> 00:52:04,769
- Tony's flights of terror
from his own life...
- Ex.
869
00:52:04,862 --> 00:52:06,853
have nothing to do
with my superiority.
870
00:52:06,946 --> 00:52:09,399
- Well, it's not terror
that makes people wander.
- I know.
871
00:52:09,487 --> 00:52:14,061
- It's vitality.
- I see. Is it vitality that led Mel
to leave his wife for you?
872
00:52:14,154 --> 00:52:16,774
- Paul, would you mind
riding in the other car?
- I don't know. I don't mind.
873
00:52:16,863 --> 00:52:19,233
- Good. Could we just pull over here?
- Yeah. I think--
874
00:52:19,322 --> 00:52:21,561
So what happened
in the other car anyway?
875
00:52:21,655 --> 00:52:24,226
Oh, Paul was probably
lecturing them, right?
876
00:52:24,322 --> 00:52:27,770
No, I wasn't lecturing them.
I was asking questions. That's all.
I wasn't lecturing.
877
00:52:27,863 --> 00:52:30,150
Oh, my God. Is that--
You brought your gun.
878
00:52:30,238 --> 00:52:33,072
Absolutely I brought it. You never--
You get beeped for an emergency.
879
00:52:33,156 --> 00:52:36,320
You know, you're such
a hopeless workaholic.
We're on vacation, for God's sake.
880
00:52:36,406 --> 00:52:39,274
- Oh, yeah, such a good time.
- No, Mel's like that too.
He cannot enjoy anything.
- You know, if you--
881
00:52:39,364 --> 00:52:43,145
If you can't commit
to our marriage now, what are you
gonna do when we have a baby? Huh?
882
00:52:47,703 --> 00:52:50,275
Why can't he ride with you, huh? Hey,
you invited them in the first place.
883
00:52:50,371 --> 00:52:52,859
- Could you pass me the Baby Wipes?
- Where are you going?
884
00:52:52,954 --> 00:52:55,738
- To pee.
- You're just gonna-- Right here?
885
00:52:55,829 --> 00:52:59,195
You're just gonna squat?
886
00:53:01,579 --> 00:53:05,360
- Why do you have to take your keys
with you to pee anyway?
- I just wasn't thinking, okay?
887
00:53:05,455 --> 00:53:07,742
It's-- I don't know how many times
I've told you to keep your keys...
888
00:53:07,830 --> 00:53:10,662
- in one place.
-Just shut up! Fuck.
889
00:53:21,788 --> 00:53:26,079
Nancy was saying you guys were having
some tension around oral sex?
890
00:53:26,164 --> 00:53:27,871
- Oh, was she?
- Yeah.
- Really?
891
00:53:27,956 --> 00:53:30,279
- Yeah. Uh-- Hey.
- Oh.
- It happens to me too, but...
892
00:53:30,373 --> 00:53:34,236
you know, a technique that I find
useful-- humming to myself.
893
00:53:34,331 --> 00:53:36,322
- Humming to yourself?
- Yep, humming.
- Really?
894
00:53:36,414 --> 00:53:39,413
- Seems to release the tension so I
can enjoy the fellatio. It's great.
- Great. Great.
895
00:53:39,499 --> 00:53:41,785
- Thank you. Thanks for the tip.
- You bet.
- All right.
896
00:53:41,874 --> 00:53:44,788
Do you worry about the risk factor
involved in gay sex?
897
00:53:44,874 --> 00:53:48,453
You know, it may be news to you, but
not every gay man has, uh, anal sex.
898
00:53:48,541 --> 00:53:50,531
That's where a lot
of the HIV risk lies.
899
00:53:50,624 --> 00:53:53,705
For example, I'm very anal. Uh, I--
I mean, in, uh, in the sense...
900
00:53:53,791 --> 00:53:57,239
that I'm compulsively careful
and clean about what touches my body.
901
00:53:57,333 --> 00:54:00,781
- Not into penetration, at all.
- To a fault.
902
00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:03,494
- Okay, do we have to talk
about this right now?
- Well, why not?
903
00:54:03,583 --> 00:54:05,870
- Are you a homophobic?
- No, I--
- I think it's interesting.
904
00:54:05,958 --> 00:54:07,996
- Really? Well, I think maybe--
maybe we shouldn't.
- No, I think it's very-- Oh, God.
- Well-- Uh, no-- Uh--
905
00:54:08,083 --> 00:54:11,912
- Nancy's just testing the risk
factor for sex with Tony, Mel.
- How primeval. What?
906
00:54:12,001 --> 00:54:14,620
- Paul, don't patronize her.
- I'm not patronizing her.
907
00:54:14,709 --> 00:54:16,830
She knows that I came of age
in the era of AIDS...
908
00:54:16,918 --> 00:54:20,662
and even though I'm bisexual
I've been incredibly careful, okay?
909
00:54:20,751 --> 00:54:23,914
- Tested negative three times
in the last seven months.
- Really?
910
00:54:24,001 --> 00:54:26,572
- If I remember correctly.
Yeah, three times.
- What does that mean?
911
00:54:35,877 --> 00:54:39,456
I'm sorry. Uh, maybe we should've
sprung for an updated edition, huh?
912
00:54:39,544 --> 00:54:43,205
Hmm. I mean, uh, the picture's
right here. It was a nice B-and-B.
913
00:54:43,294 --> 00:54:47,668
Yeah, they probably had something
about the uranium contamination
in the new edition. Yeah.
914
00:54:47,753 --> 00:54:50,834
Did it ever occur to you
to call first? Or--
915
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:54,001
Without spontaneity, the world
of B-and-B's is fairly meaningless.
916
00:54:54,086 --> 00:54:57,417
Oh. Well, then, I hope you have
a tent because that's the only way
that you can be spontaneous...
917
00:54:57,503 --> 00:54:59,079
in the middle of the desert
at this hour.
918
00:54:59,170 --> 00:55:01,540
Maybe Mel's parents
can suggest a place.
919
00:55:01,629 --> 00:55:03,620
Oh, right, I'm just going to,
uh, show up with 50 people.
920
00:55:03,712 --> 00:55:06,118
''Hi. I haven't seen you for
about 30 years. This is my posse.
921
00:55:06,212 --> 00:55:08,499
And, by the way, Nancy invited along
these two gay guys just for fun...
922
00:55:08,587 --> 00:55:10,578
and, you know, we're gonna
be here for a while.''
923
00:55:10,671 --> 00:55:12,957
Wh-Wh-What does gay guys
have to do with anything?
924
00:55:13,046 --> 00:55:15,499
Nothing. It has nothing
to do with anything, okay?
I didn't mean to be insulting.
925
00:55:15,587 --> 00:55:17,793
Then why'd you say it, neurotic guy?
926
00:55:19,547 --> 00:55:22,165
- Th-That's my designation?
I'm ''neurotic guy''?
- Mm-hmm.
927
00:55:22,255 --> 00:55:24,874
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- Yeah.
- I don't think you know me well
enough to call me ''neurotic guy.''
928
00:55:24,963 --> 00:55:27,120
Oh, really?
''Gay guy'' isn't intimate?
929
00:55:27,213 --> 00:55:29,962
- Look, do you wanna file
an anti-defamation suit...
- There's no intimacy happening here.
930
00:55:30,047 --> 00:55:32,037
or do you want to get to the
''Schwingkings''' before midnight? Okay?
931
00:55:32,130 --> 00:55:34,963
Is this another surprise visit,
or did you call first this time?
932
00:55:35,048 --> 00:55:38,828
- You know, I spoke with them
already. I told you that, Nancy.
- What? What?
933
00:55:38,923 --> 00:55:41,376
- What?
- What, do you want to get intimate?
Is that what you're saying?
934
00:55:41,464 --> 00:55:43,704
- Hey, the baby's going to sleep.
- Huh? No?
935
00:55:48,923 --> 00:55:53,048
- You hear that?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Lend me your comb
936
00:55:53,132 --> 00:55:55,881
It's time to go home
937
00:55:55,965 --> 00:55:58,714
Gotta confess
938
00:55:58,799 --> 00:56:01,204
My hair is a mess
939
00:56:02,882 --> 00:56:06,248
Your mama will scold you
940
00:56:06,340 --> 00:56:09,008
Your daddy will shout
941
00:56:09,092 --> 00:56:11,794
As we come in
942
00:56:11,883 --> 00:56:14,715
The way we went out
943
00:56:16,550 --> 00:56:20,081
Kissin'you was fun
Honey bun
944
00:56:20,175 --> 00:56:23,007
Thanks for the date
945
00:56:23,092 --> 00:56:26,339
Time has come
Honey, honey bun
946
00:56:26,426 --> 00:56:29,756
You know, baby, it's a-gettin'late
947
00:56:29,843 --> 00:56:32,876
Just wait till I
948
00:56:32,968 --> 00:56:35,088
Straighten my tie
949
00:56:35,176 --> 00:56:37,795
Lend me your comb
950
00:56:37,884 --> 00:56:40,587
We've got to go home
951
00:56:40,677 --> 00:56:45,381
- This is a long porch.
- It's a beautiful house, though.
952
00:56:49,844 --> 00:56:52,593
- Sorry.
- Do you think you can wait
back in the car?
953
00:56:52,677 --> 00:56:54,751
- Gotta go to the bathroom.
- Hi!
- Hi!
954
00:56:54,844 --> 00:56:57,547
- It's so late. We were
getting worried about you.
- I hope my directions were all right.
955
00:56:57,636 --> 00:57:01,464
- Oh, they were great.
This place is so isolated.
- Oh, that's what we love about it too.
956
00:57:01,553 --> 00:57:03,839
- I'm Tina Kalb.
We spoke on the phone.
- Tina.
957
00:57:03,928 --> 00:57:06,002
- Oh, yeah, right. Hi. Oh.
- We were shocked to get
your call yesterday.
958
00:57:06,095 --> 00:57:10,171
- Yeah. I'm, I'm just amazed
that you ran into Fritz Boudreau
after all these years.
- Nice to meet you.
959
00:57:10,261 --> 00:57:14,967
- He's something.
- Yeah. Well, he never got over
the fact that Mary left him for me.
960
00:57:15,054 --> 00:57:17,377
Which one of you is Mel?
961
00:57:17,471 --> 00:57:19,876
That's me.
962
00:57:19,971 --> 00:57:23,550
- Mary Schlichting.
- Oh, so that's how you pronounce it.
- Oh!
963
00:57:23,637 --> 00:57:26,386
- Nobody ever gets it right. Hi.
- Hi.
- And this must be your wife.
964
00:57:26,471 --> 00:57:30,133
- Nancy.
- Nancy, hi. Welcome to our family.
- Hi. Look at the baby.
965
00:57:30,222 --> 00:57:33,089
- Well, he's sleeping.
- These are our friends.
966
00:57:33,180 --> 00:57:35,799
- Uh, Tony and Paul.
- Tony.
- Paul. Mr Schlichting.
967
00:57:35,888 --> 00:57:38,175
- Hello, uh, Paul. Hi.
Hello. How you doing?
- I'm Tony.
968
00:57:38,263 --> 00:57:40,301
They were going to stay
at Rancho Arroyo.
969
00:57:40,388 --> 00:57:44,678
- Oh, my goodness. You can't stay there.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, no. They, they
found that-- We read about that.
970
00:57:44,763 --> 00:57:46,969
- Uranium, yeah.
- Uranium, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Highly toxic.
971
00:57:47,056 --> 00:57:49,426
Thank God that's far away from here.
You don't have to worry about that.
972
00:57:49,514 --> 00:57:52,596
- Well, could you recommend a motel?
- Oh, no! No, no, no.
- Oh, no need to go to a motel.
973
00:57:52,681 --> 00:57:56,461
- There isn't a decent motel
for a hundred miles.
- And we have plenty of room
here for all of you.
974
00:57:56,556 --> 00:57:58,214
- Oh, thank you.
- Great.
- Sure, sure.
975
00:57:58,306 --> 00:58:01,754
- I-I-I don't want everyone
to stay here with you. It's--
- Why can't everyone stay here?
976
00:58:01,848 --> 00:58:05,463
- Because this is a private thing.
- You know, if I could just lay down.
I'd like to go right to bed
and put the baby to sleep.
977
00:58:05,557 --> 00:58:08,590
Sure. Let me help you. Don't you want
to eat something before you--
978
00:58:08,682 --> 00:58:13,174
- No. Thanks. I'm not hungry.
- Nancy, come on. You're always hungry.
979
00:58:13,265 --> 00:58:16,299
- Fuck you.
- What? I'm, I'm sorry?
980
00:58:16,390 --> 00:58:18,879
It's just-- You know, this isn't
the time or the place for this, okay?
981
00:58:18,974 --> 00:58:22,092
Oh, but it was the time and place
to wrestle with her...
982
00:58:22,183 --> 00:58:24,754
in San Diego, right, and break
a bunch of glass animals?
983
00:58:24,850 --> 00:58:28,097
That's i-- That's fine?
That was a perfect time?
984
00:58:28,183 --> 00:58:32,675
-I'm sorry, is this inappropriate?
-Nothing in this house is inappropriate.
We'll be upstairs.
985
00:58:32,767 --> 00:58:36,215
You know, I-I'll get the, the bags.
I think I want to lay down too.
986
00:58:36,309 --> 00:58:39,224
I bet you would.
987
00:58:39,309 --> 00:58:42,971
- Hmm. Hmm.
- Having some problems, huh?
988
00:58:43,059 --> 00:58:45,678
Yeah, we're kind of having
a little bit of a--
989
00:58:45,768 --> 00:58:49,014
- Yeah. It's, uh--
- This, uh, some kind of
a swapping thing you got here?
990
00:58:49,101 --> 00:58:52,681
- That what it is?
- No. No, no, no, no.Just, you know,
there's a little friction, that's all.
991
00:58:52,769 --> 00:58:55,850
- I mean, you know--
- And then, and, and
these guys came along with us.
- Well, you know, you know--
992
00:58:55,935 --> 00:58:59,976
- You know, marriage is tough.
You just got-- You gotta be
flexible in marriage, right?
- Yeah. Yeah.
993
00:59:00,060 --> 00:59:02,596
- This thing is wonderful,
by the way. Who made this?
- That's my work.
994
00:59:02,685 --> 00:59:04,427
- Really? You did this? Wow.
- Yeah.
995
00:59:04,519 --> 00:59:07,351
- Yeah, I got a blacksmith shop
out in the barn, and I do
my sculptures there...
- Oh.
996
00:59:07,435 --> 00:59:09,759
- and Mary throws her pots.
- Great.
997
00:59:09,853 --> 00:59:13,514
- Really? She's into,
into pottery? Pottery?
- Oh, she's gonna love showing you
her pottery. Yeah, look at this.
998
00:59:13,603 --> 00:59:16,767
- See, this, this is slab construction.
If you can see the--
- Yeah.
999
00:59:16,853 --> 00:59:19,520
Uh, when I roll it out, then I have
weeds in with the rolling pin.
1000
00:59:19,603 --> 00:59:22,222
- I press them right into the surface.
- You know, just ordinary weeds.
- You put the weeds in the clay, yeah.
1001
00:59:22,311 --> 00:59:24,717
And then when you fire it, the weed--
the weeds burn off. Here, just stick--
1002
00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:27,301
- See, so where
the weeds were, you get the--
- Stick your fingers in here, you know.
1003
00:59:27,396 --> 00:59:30,062
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah--
- Now, stick two fingers inside...
1004
00:59:30,146 --> 00:59:32,350
- and just caress the-- That's it. Now--
- Oh, okay. There you go. Yeah.
1005
00:59:32,437 --> 00:59:36,099
- Uh-huh. Now feel the texture
on the out-- No, against your face.
- Yeah, so it's much-- Up here.
1006
00:59:36,187 --> 00:59:38,178
- That texture is--
- Oh, it's kind of--
Yeah, it's very rough.
1007
00:59:38,271 --> 00:59:40,261
- That texture is really amazing.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's great.
- It looks rough...
1008
00:59:40,354 --> 00:59:42,559
- but it's very smooth, isn't it?
- Doesn't that feel good?
Isn't it something?
- Right, right, it's smooth.
1009
00:59:42,647 --> 00:59:44,970
- Smoother than you would think,
but, but still, still really--
- Yeah.
1010
00:59:45,063 --> 00:59:48,844
This is wonderful. Great stu--
I mean, and you guys, you guys are
making a living through the arts, huh?
1011
00:59:48,938 --> 00:59:51,344
- Well, we try. We--
Sometimes you have to supplement.
- We try to, but, you know, sometimes--
1012
00:59:51,438 --> 00:59:54,187
- Yeah, you have to supplement
with other things.
- These are all mine.
1013
00:59:54,272 --> 00:59:57,851
Every one of them, I made-- Oh, let--
I want to show you a big one I love.
1014
00:59:57,938 --> 01:00:00,144
This environment is so much more
creative than the one I grew up in.
1015
01:00:00,231 --> 01:00:03,727
- Oh, thanks. That's nice.
- It's really--
- This is a wood fire process.
1016
01:00:03,814 --> 01:00:06,303
- Uh-huh. Uh, is this--
- See how this-- Hmm?
1017
01:00:06,398 --> 01:00:10,178
- Who's that?
- That's our other son.
1018
01:00:10,273 --> 01:00:13,187
- You mean I have a brother?
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- You wanna say hello to Lonnie?
1019
01:00:13,273 --> 01:00:17,054
- Yes. He's been feeling a little
threatened about meeting you,
so be patient.
- Uh-huh.
1020
01:00:17,149 --> 01:00:21,225
Hi. How you doing? That's
a beautiful song you're playing there.
1021
01:00:23,524 --> 01:00:27,932
- Is supper almost ready? Lonnie?
- Yeah, we better--
We better go in and, and eat.
1022
01:00:28,024 --> 01:00:31,603
He's been cooking all day.
Bagged the quail himself this morning.
1023
01:00:31,690 --> 01:00:34,227
Ooh, wild quail. That's terrific.
1024
01:00:34,317 --> 01:00:36,722
Oh, you're in for a great treat.
Lonnie's a really good cook.
1025
01:00:40,025 --> 01:00:45,097
Ooh, the special son
is here tonight
1026
01:00:45,192 --> 01:00:47,265
Little Cinderella oughta cook up
1027
01:00:47,358 --> 01:00:50,772
Something special for him
1028
01:00:50,859 --> 01:00:52,850
Lonnie, can you make
1029
01:00:52,943 --> 01:00:56,604
Your quail tonight
1030
01:00:59,151 --> 01:01:01,272
Okay.
1031
01:01:02,651 --> 01:01:05,140
You know-- You know what I want,
I want to have happen? I want Mel--
1032
01:01:05,235 --> 01:01:07,640
I want you to sit over there
next to your father.
1033
01:01:07,735 --> 01:01:09,525
- Oh, it's okay.
- Oh, it's no problem.
1034
01:01:09,610 --> 01:01:11,897
Then I have all three
of my fellows in a row.
1035
01:01:11,985 --> 01:01:13,940
All right. Come on.
Come on. Come around.
1036
01:01:14,027 --> 01:01:16,729
- Um, maybe you should take
your, your plate with you.
- You don't mind, do you, Paul?
- That's all right. I didn't touch it.
1037
01:01:16,819 --> 01:01:19,354
Come on, come on. Sit down.
You like quail?
1038
01:01:19,444 --> 01:01:22,526
- See?
- No, I never had quail.
- Where are you?
1039
01:01:22,611 --> 01:01:24,981
You all right?
1040
01:01:25,070 --> 01:01:27,144
- I just don't wanna talk about it.
I need to calm down.
- All right.
1041
01:01:27,236 --> 01:01:29,985
Well, if you do wanna talk about it,
you know, I, I wanna be here for you.
1042
01:01:30,070 --> 01:01:32,688
- Thank you.
- Want me to take care of the baby?
1043
01:01:32,778 --> 01:01:35,811
He's fine. He's sleeping.
1044
01:01:35,903 --> 01:01:40,063
- Um, do you mind if I take a shower?
- No, I don't care, but could I--
1045
01:01:40,154 --> 01:01:42,559
- Could I just have a second?
- Okay.
1046
01:01:43,112 --> 01:01:46,027
So, um, Fritz said you were
a scientist, Richard.
1047
01:01:46,112 --> 01:01:50,320
Yeah, I was a-- I was a chemist
for Maple Brothers in the Bay Area
before we came out here.
1048
01:01:50,404 --> 01:01:52,774
- Right, the aspirin company.
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
1049
01:01:52,862 --> 01:01:57,320
Decongestants, nasal sprays, all that,
uh, you know, that consumer crap.
I couldn't wait to quit.
1050
01:01:57,405 --> 01:01:59,976
- Oh, he hated it.
- Mm-hmm. I'm a scientist too.
1051
01:02:00,072 --> 01:02:01,564
- No, you're kidding!
- Yeah.
- Oh, you're kidding!
1052
01:02:01,655 --> 01:02:04,274
- Oh, my God! What are you--
What's, what's your specialty?
What, what's your field?
- Entomology.
1053
01:02:04,363 --> 01:02:06,354
- No! Isn't that incredible?
- I love it.
- Yeah.
1054
01:02:06,447 --> 01:02:10,523
- A genetic connection!
- Yeah. See, that is wonderful.
- Oh, my God! That's incredible!
1055
01:02:10,613 --> 01:02:13,945
- That is wonderful.
- Oh, that's amazing.
- For some reason, Lonnie never seemed
to have an interest in science.
1056
01:02:14,031 --> 01:02:17,064
- Mm, what does that mean?
- Hey, she doesn't mean anything.
1057
01:02:17,156 --> 01:02:21,363
It means something that you never
had-- an interest in science.
Look at the other things you do.
1058
01:02:21,448 --> 01:02:24,529
Yeah, well, who knows? I might
have had an interest in sculpture
if these guys didn't give me away.
1059
01:02:24,614 --> 01:02:26,605
- Yeah, who knows
what might have happened?
- Yeah, I know.
1060
01:02:26,698 --> 01:02:30,739
- Give me a kiss.
- Yeah, wh-wh-wh-what did happen?
1061
01:02:30,824 --> 01:02:35,197
- About what?
- Well, why did you guys give me up?
1062
01:02:35,282 --> 01:02:37,486
Why did we give him away?
1063
01:02:37,574 --> 01:02:39,648
- The big question.
- That's the question.
1064
01:02:39,740 --> 01:02:41,861
Well, Fritz Boudreau said
that you were indisposed...
1065
01:02:41,949 --> 01:02:44,485
and so that's how he came
to bring Mel to the agency.
1066
01:02:44,575 --> 01:02:46,779
- ''Indisposed''? Is that what he said?
- Yeah, indisp--
1067
01:02:46,867 --> 01:02:50,232
- That's the word Fritz used?
- That's-- That would have been nice.
- Big word for the fellow, huh?
1068
01:02:50,325 --> 01:02:53,525
- I wouldn't mind being indisposed.
- Okay, I'm gonna tell the story.
1069
01:02:53,617 --> 01:02:58,108
Um, how, how much detail
do you have to go into here?
1070
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:01,033
I want Mel to know what happened, or
he'll never believe we cared about him.
1071
01:03:01,118 --> 01:03:04,565
- What are you hanging onto that for?
- You're holding onto it.
1072
01:03:04,659 --> 01:03:07,776
- I'm not holding onto anything.
- I'm letting it go.
- Uh, you're holding onto these things.
1073
01:03:07,868 --> 01:03:10,072
Uh, tell him. Go ahead, tell him.
I don't care. Go ahead.
1074
01:03:10,159 --> 01:03:13,738
So, Mel, you know we were
living in San Francisco,
and it was the mid '60s, right?
1075
01:03:13,826 --> 01:03:17,690
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- And we were part of a very
progressive group of artists...
1076
01:03:17,785 --> 01:03:22,489
- and there was one band
at the centre of it.
- A band? Wh-Wh-What band?
1077
01:03:22,577 --> 01:03:25,528
Jerry Garcia, blah, blah, blah.
1078
01:03:25,619 --> 01:03:28,321
I am so sick of this fucking story!
1079
01:03:28,410 --> 01:03:31,858
It's so boring! You've been
telling it for years! Give it up!
1080
01:03:37,578 --> 01:03:40,280
- He doesn't like it
when I tell this story.
- What happened with Jerry Garcia?
1081
01:03:40,370 --> 01:03:43,321
- Nothing.
- Nothing happened with Jerry Garcia,
but Richard and I went to prison--
1082
01:03:43,411 --> 01:03:45,900
-Right-- Right after you were born.
-And that's why we had to give you away.
1083
01:03:45,995 --> 01:03:49,526
- You went to prison?
- Oh, don't be stigmatized by it.
1084
01:03:49,620 --> 01:03:51,825
- It wasn't a serious crime.
- Oh, God, it was nothing.
1085
01:03:51,912 --> 01:03:54,318
- Not even a crime.
- It was absolutely nothing.
1086
01:03:54,412 --> 01:03:56,617
- Next to nothing, really.
- Less than nothing. Have you
ever, you know, like, driven...
1087
01:03:56,704 --> 01:03:59,109
a few miles over the speed limit,
or something like that?
1088
01:03:59,204 --> 01:04:01,408
- Yeah, sure.
- It was less than that.
1089
01:04:01,496 --> 01:04:03,617
If you speed, y-you know,
you could hurt somebody.
1090
01:04:03,704 --> 01:04:05,778
- This is--
- So, were you-- you
were jailed for driving?
1091
01:04:05,871 --> 01:04:08,953
- No, no, no. No, there
was no driving. I tried--
- How did they get that?
1092
01:04:09,038 --> 01:04:12,285
I'm, I'm, I'm, uh--
I'm sorry, I'm totally lost here.
1093
01:04:18,538 --> 01:04:20,695
- Hi.
- Hi.
1094
01:04:20,788 --> 01:04:23,111
- Here, I'll get out of your way. Aah!
- Ooh.
1095
01:04:23,205 --> 01:04:25,493
- What are you doing?
- Oh, I don't know. What did I do?
1096
01:04:25,581 --> 01:04:28,117
- Oh, no, no. It's okay. Relax. Relax.
- No, watch out. You--
1097
01:04:28,206 --> 01:04:30,955
- I-- You could hurt your fingers.
- Watch how you--
1098
01:04:31,039 --> 01:04:33,742
- Whoops.
- Sh--
1099
01:04:33,831 --> 01:04:36,236
- I'm so clumsy.
- No, you're not.
1100
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,535
You know, I have these,
uh, these, these--
1101
01:04:38,623 --> 01:04:41,195
- three Italian prints
at home that I keep, uh--
- Mm-hmm.
1102
01:04:41,290 --> 01:04:43,281
I don't know what to do--
if I should frame them myself...
1103
01:04:43,374 --> 01:04:46,372
- or maybe I should
take them to somebody else.
- I, uh-- I would-- I would
take them to the framer.
1104
01:04:46,457 --> 01:04:48,862
- Yeah?
- Yeah, well--
1105
01:04:48,957 --> 01:04:52,204
- So maybe that's what I'll do.
I think that-- Yeah.
- Do you want to take a shower?
1106
01:04:52,290 --> 01:04:56,154
- No, go ahead.
- No, I mean together?
1107
01:04:56,249 --> 01:05:01,037
Your husband's been taking you for
granted a little bit, don't you think?
1108
01:05:01,125 --> 01:05:04,242
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1109
01:05:04,333 --> 01:05:06,656
Here. Let me go get
my shower cap.
1110
01:05:06,750 --> 01:05:09,582
- You made LSD? Is that--
That's what you're saying?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah, but--
1111
01:05:09,667 --> 01:05:13,613
- We made LSD.
- Yes, yes. We made acid.
- And we gave it out
to people who needed it.
1112
01:05:13,709 --> 01:05:17,205
You know that there are
hundreds of pharmaceutical
executives in this country...
1113
01:05:17,293 --> 01:05:21,286
- Oh!
- that are selling drugs,
FDA approved drugs?
1114
01:05:21,376 --> 01:05:25,286
- Oh!
- On the open market.
- Oh, on the-- Over the counter
with incredible side--
1115
01:05:25,376 --> 01:05:27,450
- Horrible side effects.
- Terrible side effects.
1116
01:05:27,543 --> 01:05:29,534
- And these people are not in jail.
- They're not in prison anywhere.
1117
01:05:29,627 --> 01:05:32,376
They're, they're, they're in
country clubs or playing golf.
They're having drinks.
1118
01:05:32,460 --> 01:05:34,451
- They're running the country.
- They're not--
- They're running the country, Mel.
1119
01:05:34,544 --> 01:05:37,826
- Y-You know, LSD shouldn't be
a felony in the first place.
- It's not addictive.
1120
01:05:37,919 --> 01:05:39,993
- It doesn't lead to violent crime.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
1121
01:05:40,085 --> 01:05:42,752
- It's really the only hope
for the species.
- Yeah.
1122
01:05:42,835 --> 01:05:45,158
D-Did you take acid while
you were pregnant with me?
1123
01:05:45,252 --> 01:05:47,374
You're not gonna bring
that thing up, are you?
1124
01:05:47,461 --> 01:05:50,376
You know the stuff
they tell you about, you know,
chromosome damage and all that stuff?
1125
01:05:50,461 --> 01:05:52,665
- Yeah, I do!
- That's government propaganda.
1126
01:05:52,753 --> 01:05:55,834
- Total propaganda.
- They just want to get a hold
of your head, that's all.
1127
01:05:55,920 --> 01:06:00,909
I was relieved, though,
when you came out in the hospital
and you only had one head.
1128
01:06:03,129 --> 01:06:06,376
- Very funny.
- She-- She kills me!
1129
01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:08,868
- Oh, he was such a cute baby.
- It would've been kinda nice...
1130
01:06:08,962 --> 01:06:13,086
- if he had, like, a third eye
right there, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
1131
01:06:13,171 --> 01:06:15,789
- I-- M-Mel--
- You know, you know, a third eye
is a symbol of enlightenment.
1132
01:06:15,879 --> 01:06:18,000
- You kn-- You know, he's not--
he's not, he's not getting it. He's--
- Mel.
1133
01:06:18,087 --> 01:06:21,952
- Identity is nothing
but a mental construct.
- Mental construct?
1134
01:06:22,047 --> 01:06:26,538
- You mustn't fixate on it.
- Have you ever read any Tibetan
Buddhism, like Chaos theory?
1135
01:06:26,630 --> 01:06:29,996
- Oh, Geez.
- Paul?
1136
01:06:30,088 --> 01:06:33,454
- Is he okay?
- Oh!
- Are you okay there, Paul?
1137
01:06:33,547 --> 01:06:37,209
- Is this a musical table?
- ''Is this a musical table''?
- Paul, can I get you something?
1138
01:06:37,298 --> 01:06:40,580
- I'm not feeling very well.
- What, what do you mean?
What is it? What, what is it?
- Let me help you. What is it?
1139
01:06:40,673 --> 01:06:43,339
- What are you going through?
- Do you want-- Do you want to lie down?
- I don't know.
1140
01:06:43,423 --> 01:06:47,286
- Can, can I get you something, Paul?
- How do you feel?
- Vivid.
1141
01:06:47,381 --> 01:06:51,375
- Paul? Here.
- What?
- I'm seeing colours
that I don't want to see.
1142
01:06:51,464 --> 01:06:54,547
-Did you hear that? He's seeing colours.
-Just go with it. That's all right.
He needs to lie down.
1143
01:06:54,632 --> 01:06:58,045
- Wait, let me move this.
You're gonna have to help me.
- Everything's moving.
1144
01:06:58,132 --> 01:07:01,877
- Paul, can you hear me?
- Goddam it! Lonnie!
1145
01:07:01,965 --> 01:07:05,829
- Lonnie!
- Don't fly off the handle.
- Come in here. Come here.
1146
01:07:05,924 --> 01:07:08,412
- What did you do to Paul's quail?
- Nothing. Why?
1147
01:07:08,507 --> 01:07:11,542
Come on. Don't give me that
fake innocence. What did you do?
1148
01:07:11,633 --> 01:07:14,382
I dosed Mel's dish. I meant it
for Mel, and then he ate it.
1149
01:07:14,467 --> 01:07:17,713
- Oh, my God. How much?
- Two and a half tabs.
1150
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:21,248
Two and a half tabs?
Are you crazy? Are you nuts?
1151
01:07:21,342 --> 01:07:23,379
Doesn't your mother have
enough to worry about tonight?
1152
01:07:23,467 --> 01:07:26,465
- I just don't understand this.
- Why do you ha-- Now, why do you
have to talk to me like that?
1153
01:07:26,551 --> 01:07:28,423
- Am I-- Am I talking
to him in some special way?
- It's really embarrassing to me...
1154
01:07:28,509 --> 01:07:30,500
and I really don't
appreciate it in front of him.
1155
01:07:30,593 --> 01:07:33,046
- I mean, who is he?
- What-- What's wrong with him? What--
- You got the whole
science thing going...
1156
01:07:33,134 --> 01:07:36,417
and the next thing I, I know,
you like him better than me
because he's more like you than I am.
1157
01:07:36,509 --> 01:07:40,585
- We love you very much. Even if you
were Jeffrey Dahmer, we would love you.
- Yeah, sure!
1158
01:07:40,676 --> 01:07:43,082
- Oh, you know, Mom spare me the hyp--
- Wait, I'm not here to take your place.
1159
01:07:43,177 --> 01:07:45,381
- Please, Mel, please!
- Where do you get this insecurity from?
1160
01:07:45,469 --> 01:07:47,589
- I don't understand it.
This drives me nuts!
- Uh, honey?
1161
01:07:47,677 --> 01:07:49,833
- Richard, you're criticizing.
- All right, all right.
1162
01:07:49,927 --> 01:07:54,465
I want you to apologize to Mel
and to Paul right now. C'mon. C'mon.
1163
01:07:54,552 --> 01:07:57,384
- I'm sorry.
- You're sorry for what?
- I'm sorry...
1164
01:07:57,469 --> 01:08:01,546
that I put windowpane in Mel's quail,
and I'm sorry that you ate it.
1165
01:08:01,636 --> 01:08:04,469
All right. All right. Go sit down.
I can't believe he--
1166
01:08:04,553 --> 01:08:09,127
Let's not blow this out
of proportion, everyone. Paul's
gonna come down in about ten hours.
1167
01:08:09,220 --> 01:08:11,424
- Ten hours?
- I-- It's-- I-- It's--
1168
01:08:11,511 --> 01:08:15,458
I can't believe you-- you're
actually keeping acid in the house
after you went to prison for it.
1169
01:08:15,554 --> 01:08:18,505
- Wait till your son is 19. See if he
does everything you want him to do.
- Tina.
1170
01:08:18,596 --> 01:08:22,672
- This is classic!
Yeah, just keep, uh-- keep blaming
it all on me, all your crap.
- Ah, just go with it.
1171
01:08:22,762 --> 01:08:27,135
You just simmer down, you.
And you take a little responsibility
for what you've done.
1172
01:08:27,221 --> 01:08:30,302
- Thank you, Mrs Cleaver.
- Excuse me. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
- All there is.
1173
01:08:30,387 --> 01:08:34,050
- This is a non-smoking house.
- You're gonna be all right.
- Are you kidding?
-Just go with it.
1174
01:08:34,138 --> 01:08:36,544
- We're gonna take quite a trip.
- You know, it's been a long day...
1175
01:08:36,638 --> 01:08:38,712
and, uh, I'm really, really tired.
1176
01:08:38,805 --> 01:08:41,720
So, uh, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna hit the hay.
1177
01:08:41,805 --> 01:08:44,045
Thank you very much for, um, dinner.
It was wonderful.
1178
01:08:44,138 --> 01:08:46,627
- My love in Paris
- Shh!
1179
01:08:46,722 --> 01:08:49,970
- Knows my secret
-Just go with it.Just go with it.
- He's gonna be fine.
1180
01:08:50,056 --> 01:08:52,888
- She's a great guide.
- I'm, I'm sure you are
an excellent guide.
1181
01:08:52,973 --> 01:08:57,677
And I would like to thank you again
for this wonderful evening.
It was really great.
1182
01:08:57,764 --> 01:09:00,513
- It was great seeing you. Yeah.
- Yeah. Thanks.
- I mean, I loved meeting you.
1183
01:09:00,598 --> 01:09:02,968
I loved meeting you too,
and I'm just gonna hit the hay.
1184
01:09:03,056 --> 01:09:05,344
- Now, you're sure
that you don't want dessert?
- Really feel awful.
- No.
1185
01:09:05,432 --> 01:09:08,347
- Um, I think I'm gonna
lay off the food, yeah.
- Close.
1186
01:09:08,432 --> 01:09:10,423
- If you get hungry later,
it's in the fridge, okay?
- Okay, good night.
Nighty-night, you two. Uh, night.
1187
01:09:10,515 --> 01:09:13,632
- Will do. Yum! Good night.
- Chocolate mousse. You're gonna
love it. You're gonna-- Yeah.
1188
01:09:13,724 --> 01:09:16,129
- Very nice to meet you.
It was really great.
- See ya, Tina.
- Tina! Good night, Tina.
1189
01:09:16,224 --> 01:09:19,755
- Go with it, Paul.
- I guess it's just
one of those ex-felon...
1190
01:09:19,849 --> 01:09:21,971
pro-acid kind of non-smoking homes.
1191
01:09:22,058 --> 01:09:25,424
It's a weird, weird home.
And where's Nancy? Where is she?
1192
01:09:25,517 --> 01:09:29,676
- She's somewhere in one of these
rooms with Tony. They're in there--
- You know what, Mel?
1193
01:09:29,767 --> 01:09:32,800
You need to settle down.
This is overwhelming.
This is hitting you all at once.
1194
01:09:32,892 --> 01:09:35,806
You know what, sweetheart? Just--
Just come in here for a second.
1195
01:09:35,892 --> 01:09:38,559
We'll just sit down, cool off a bit.
1196
01:09:38,643 --> 01:09:40,717
Boy!
1197
01:09:40,809 --> 01:09:43,476
Oh, boy.
1198
01:09:43,559 --> 01:09:47,221
Well, you know,
what did I expect, right?
1199
01:09:51,934 --> 01:09:54,388
I'm sorry this is all
hitting you at the same time...
1200
01:09:54,477 --> 01:09:59,181
but after it passes and things settle
down, you can think about starting over.
1201
01:10:02,810 --> 01:10:05,974
- Why can't you just use soap?
- You know, soap dries your skin out.
1202
01:10:06,060 --> 01:10:11,051
Not that I'm one of those women
who obsesses about old-looking
skin after pregnancy.
1203
01:10:11,145 --> 01:10:14,143
- I just happen to be obsessing
about it right now.
- Well--
1204
01:10:14,228 --> 01:10:17,759
- Wait, wait, wait.
- You know, you're absolutely right.
We don't need to rush into this.
1205
01:10:17,853 --> 01:10:20,223
- I haven't even
finalized my divorce yet.
- No, I could've kissed you just now...
1206
01:10:20,311 --> 01:10:24,175
and felt okay about it, but I didn't,
and I felt really wrong.
1207
01:10:25,728 --> 01:10:28,431
Don't take this personally,
but with all your nervous energy...
1208
01:10:28,521 --> 01:10:31,602
you kinda remind me
of my mother. Ow!
1209
01:10:31,687 --> 01:10:34,804
- Do you mind if I look at your armpit?
- My armpit?
1210
01:10:34,896 --> 01:10:38,143
Yeah, it's my favourite part of
a woman's body. I mean, it-- May I?
1211
01:10:38,229 --> 01:10:40,634
- What's attractive about an armpit?
- Are you kidding? Lots of things.
1212
01:10:40,729 --> 01:10:44,640
Look at this, the definition.
Look at the contours here.
1213
01:10:44,730 --> 01:10:48,178
The depth of the pocket.
Feel that? So nice.
1214
01:10:48,272 --> 01:10:51,056
- Of course I feel rejected.
- I'm sorry.
1215
01:10:51,147 --> 01:10:54,477
But I shouldn't. You're not
an appropriate partner for me.
1216
01:10:54,563 --> 01:10:58,059
Your life's a mess, and you
don't make enough money anyway.
1217
01:10:58,147 --> 01:11:00,553
That's a really nasty thing to say.
1218
01:11:00,648 --> 01:11:03,267
You just told me
I reminded you of your mother.
1219
01:11:03,356 --> 01:11:06,520
Well, she's-- I mean,
she's a good person.
She's got a lot of great qualities.
1220
01:11:06,606 --> 01:11:08,727
Uh, uh--
1221
01:11:11,523 --> 01:11:16,180
I don't want to wreck your marriage.
I know how painful that that can be.
1222
01:11:16,273 --> 01:11:19,604
My marriage is obviously
vulnerable at this point.
1223
01:11:19,690 --> 01:11:22,096
Every marriage is vulnerable,
otherwise being married...
1224
01:11:22,190 --> 01:11:24,809
wouldn't mean anything, would it?
1225
01:11:28,690 --> 01:11:30,764
- Paul.
- Tony. I need to see Tony.
- No, I want you to--
1226
01:11:30,857 --> 01:11:33,477
- I want you to tell me if
you have a favourite animal.
- Oh, that's so stupid.
1227
01:11:33,567 --> 01:11:36,813
Listen to what Mary says. She's
a great guide, okay? Just listen to her.
1228
01:11:36,900 --> 01:11:38,772
- Okay.
- What's your--
- A dog.
1229
01:11:38,858 --> 01:11:42,022
- A dog. Uh, what is your favourite dog?
- A coll-- St Bernard. St Bernard.
1230
01:11:42,108 --> 01:11:46,268
St Bernard. Good. I want you
to picture a big, furry St Bernard
curled up by the fireplace.
1231
01:11:46,358 --> 01:11:49,190
- Can I change my mind? Yeah.
- No, no, we're-- we're gonna
stick with the St Bernard.
1232
01:11:49,275 --> 01:11:51,681
- I want to do a Springer Spaniel.
- No, it doesn't have to be
the perfect dog.
1233
01:11:51,776 --> 01:11:54,727
- Uh, Dalmatian. Dal--
- No, no, no. D--
1234
01:11:54,818 --> 01:11:59,107
- Okay, Dalmatian. Now,
this dog represents security--
- Schnauzer.
1235
01:11:59,193 --> 01:12:01,479
- What?
- Schnauzer.
- Shut the fuck up!
1236
01:12:01,568 --> 01:12:04,898
- I am trying to help you.
Do you understand me?
- Hey, come on, sweetheart.
1237
01:12:04,984 --> 01:12:09,026
- You're so good.Just relax, okay?
Just take it easy now. Take it easy.
- Okay. Okay, okay. Paul! Paul!
1238
01:12:09,110 --> 01:12:12,689
- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
1239
01:12:12,777 --> 01:12:15,265
Can we stop
all this craziness, huh?
1240
01:12:15,360 --> 01:12:18,939
- Yes! I wasn't even enjoying that.
- It seems like you were enjoying it.
1241
01:12:19,027 --> 01:12:22,892
- The attention, maybe, but--
- Okay. All right.
Time for you to go, okay?
1242
01:12:22,986 --> 01:12:25,522
You haven't been treating her very well.
Do you know that?
1243
01:12:25,611 --> 01:12:28,562
Oh, uh-- You know what? You know what,
buddy? You know, you got a lot of nerve.
1244
01:12:28,653 --> 01:12:31,058
You come in here,
you lick my wife's armpit.
1245
01:12:31,153 --> 01:12:34,270
You know, you-- I, uh, uh, uh--
I'm gonna have that image in my head...
1246
01:12:34,361 --> 01:12:38,770
- for the rest of my life of your tongue
in there. I-- It's, it's, it's--
- You deserve it.
1247
01:12:38,861 --> 01:12:40,853
- This is felonious,
and I want to make an arrest.
- Warm him up.
1248
01:12:40,946 --> 01:12:43,648
- Shh!
- What? What he say?
- He's tripping his brains out.
1249
01:12:43,737 --> 01:12:46,854
- He doesn't know who he is.
- Did he say-- he say-- He said
arrest. What do you mean he--
We don't know who he is.
1250
01:12:46,946 --> 01:12:51,022
- He's Mel's friend Paul.
- I know exactly who I am.
I'm Paul Harmon.
1251
01:12:51,112 --> 01:12:54,146
- Good.
- Bureau of Tobacco, Tobacco,
and Tobacco.
1252
01:12:54,237 --> 01:12:56,987
- Good. What is this, Paul?
- It is a badge.
1253
01:12:57,072 --> 01:12:59,228
- What kind of badge?
- I'm a Special Agent man.
1254
01:12:59,322 --> 01:13:04,109
Twenty years in the service.
Graduated fourth in my class.
1255
01:13:04,197 --> 01:13:06,981
- Is this a-- Is this a joke?
- I don't joke about those things.
- Goddam it.
1256
01:13:07,072 --> 01:13:10,437
- I knew it was weird.
I knew it. When they called up
out of the blue like that, I knew.
- He's--
1257
01:13:10,530 --> 01:13:14,311
- No, you had to see your son.
- He's kidding. He's making a joke.
He's just-- Oh.
1258
01:13:14,406 --> 01:13:17,274
- You're not kidding. Shit.
- I am not kidding.
Everything is under control.
- Okay. All right.
1259
01:13:17,364 --> 01:13:21,358
All right. I want you to both move over
against that wall. This is an arrest.
1260
01:13:21,448 --> 01:13:23,936
You have the right to remain silent.
You have the right to an attorney.
1261
01:13:24,031 --> 01:13:26,566
If you cannot afford an attorney,
we will provide an attorney for you...
1262
01:13:26,656 --> 01:13:29,690
because we provide things
for you people all the--
1263
01:13:29,782 --> 01:13:32,187
Oh! That really hurt.
1264
01:13:34,324 --> 01:13:37,524
I can't follow your fickle
little moods all over the place.
1265
01:13:37,615 --> 01:13:39,736
- That has got to change.
- Okay, I will. I promise.
1266
01:13:39,824 --> 01:13:42,110
If you just give me a chance,
let me show you I can be less selfish.
1267
01:13:42,199 --> 01:13:44,983
I-- I-I will show you.
You will get concrete results.
1268
01:13:45,074 --> 01:13:48,322
You have got to earn that back
with some consistent behaviour, pal.
1269
01:13:48,408 --> 01:13:51,655
Look, I'm sorry I acted this way.
I'm sorry I've treated you this way.
1270
01:13:51,741 --> 01:13:54,312
I-- I've got to be out of my mind
to risk losing you.
1271
01:13:54,408 --> 01:13:56,695
- You don't hit another human being!
- Will you be quiet!
- My-- Goddam it!
1272
01:13:56,783 --> 01:13:59,734
Just shut the hell up!
Just be quiet.
1273
01:13:59,825 --> 01:14:03,156
All right, nobody heard us
upstairs. We're all right.
1274
01:14:03,243 --> 01:14:05,447
- We have to get him to a doctor.
- Oh, no. There's no doctor.
Forget the doctor.
1275
01:14:05,534 --> 01:14:08,449
- What, no doctor? He's hurt. Paul.
- I've gotta think of what
we're gonna do.Just give me a minute.
1276
01:14:08,534 --> 01:14:10,987
- Paul, wake up. Wake up, Paul.
- I'm not-- I'm not goin' back to jail.
I'm not going back to jail.
1277
01:14:11,076 --> 01:14:13,825
- Paul, wake up.
- You know where I'm goin'? I'm goin'
to Mexico. We're all goin' to Mexico.
1278
01:14:13,909 --> 01:14:16,611
- And we're taking him as a hostage.
- A hostage?
1279
01:14:16,701 --> 01:14:19,865
- Cool!
- What are you talking about?
- I'm not going to jail again.
1280
01:14:19,952 --> 01:14:22,238
- You understand me?
I'm not going to jail!
- Oh, my God.
1281
01:14:22,327 --> 01:14:25,076
This has to be a mistake.
Mel wouldn't do this to us.
1282
01:14:25,160 --> 01:14:28,608
- How do you know it's Mel?
How do you know who Mel is?
Mel is probably in on this. Mel--
- He's a-- He's a pig!
1283
01:14:28,702 --> 01:14:31,865
How do you know it's our son?
It's not our son. It's some
fucking Federal Agent!
1284
01:14:31,952 --> 01:14:34,026
- Goddam it.
- I know it's our son. I can tell.
1285
01:14:34,119 --> 01:14:37,320
- Uh, w--
- You think a mother
doesn't know these things?
-Just shut up for a minute and listen.
1286
01:14:37,411 --> 01:14:40,078
We're gonna take him in the car,
then we go down to San Miguel
to Stuart's place.
1287
01:14:40,161 --> 01:14:42,650
- We can be there by morning.
Grab his foot. This guy is--
- Paul, wake-- No!
1288
01:14:42,745 --> 01:14:46,608
No. I am not walking away from a home
that took us 20 years to put together.
1289
01:14:46,703 --> 01:14:49,784
- This guy is--
- No!
- The wheel barrow.
- This is insane.
1290
01:14:49,870 --> 01:14:53,947
We can't take him hostage.
This is a much bigger crime.
1291
01:14:54,037 --> 01:14:56,739
- Well, what'll we do?
What'll-- What'll we do with him?
- Dump-- Dump him in the brush.
1292
01:14:56,829 --> 01:14:59,318
- Brush! Good, good.
- Leave him and get outta here.
1293
01:14:59,412 --> 01:15:03,027
- Lonnie.
- Yeah.
- Go clean out the lab.
- Right.
1294
01:15:03,121 --> 01:15:05,870
Don't break anything!
1295
01:15:27,039 --> 01:15:29,160
No, no, no.
Wai-- Wait a minute.
1296
01:15:29,248 --> 01:15:32,364
Shit! This truck is not going
to make it to Mexico.
1297
01:15:32,456 --> 01:15:35,324
- So what are we--
- Oh, shit!
1298
01:15:40,331 --> 01:15:42,536
Put it in here.
1299
01:16:02,916 --> 01:16:05,831
My sciatica is killing me.
1300
01:16:05,916 --> 01:16:07,907
Would've been here an hour ago
if you'd listened to me.
1301
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:11,163
It took two hours to find
that there's no place to get
a good sandwich around here.
1302
01:16:11,250 --> 01:16:14,414
You can't keep making U-turns
in the middle of a highway, Eddie...
1303
01:16:14,501 --> 01:16:17,415
- even if you see what
looks like a sandwich shop.
- Let's get this over with.
1304
01:16:17,501 --> 01:16:21,032
Eddie-- Eddie, wait. Don't.
1305
01:16:21,126 --> 01:16:23,875
What's the matter?
Come on!
1306
01:16:23,959 --> 01:16:28,332
- I can't go in there.
- Why not?
1307
01:16:28,418 --> 01:16:31,037
- Look at this house.
- What's the matter with it?
1308
01:16:31,127 --> 01:16:35,168
Well, it's so all-American. It's--
1309
01:16:35,252 --> 01:16:38,166
- What are you talking about?
- Well, they're probably...
1310
01:16:38,252 --> 01:16:40,871
quiet, reasonable,
sensible people...
1311
01:16:40,960 --> 01:16:43,531
and Mel loves them,
and, you know, we're neur--
1312
01:16:43,627 --> 01:16:46,660
- And he-- We're a source
of embarrassment to him.
- But he's in trouble...
1313
01:16:46,752 --> 01:16:49,704
and that's why we came!
1314
01:16:49,795 --> 01:16:54,037
- It's possible I overreacted.
- Now you think you overreacted?
1315
01:16:54,128 --> 01:16:55,953
- Yeah. We--
- We just got off an aeroplane.
1316
01:16:56,045 --> 01:16:57,834
- We drove five and a half
hours in the desert...
- Listen, Eddie...
1317
01:16:57,920 --> 01:17:00,834
- and you're telling me
that you overreacted?
- I am not going in there to be
rejected in front of his new parents!
1318
01:17:00,920 --> 01:17:03,455
- Yes, you are! Come on. Pearl.
- No, I'm not. Let go of me.
1319
01:17:03,545 --> 01:17:05,038
- Come on, Pearl.
- You're hurting my arm.
1320
01:17:05,129 --> 01:17:07,120
- You feel that?
- Get in the car before they hear us.
1321
01:17:07,212 --> 01:17:10,210
- I thought we were gonna eat here.
I'm starving.
- We'll go back to the taco place.
1322
01:17:10,296 --> 01:17:13,875
- Tacos have cheese in them.
- Not all tacos have
cheese in them, Eddie.
1323
01:17:13,962 --> 01:17:16,498
- Wait, is this our car?
- Of course it's our car.
1324
01:17:16,587 --> 01:17:22,039
- Do you remember this truck?
- What, do you have early Alzheimer's?
It's a white rental car--
1325
01:17:37,339 --> 01:17:39,626
- Where's the car?
- It's over here.
What's the matter with you?
1326
01:17:39,714 --> 01:17:41,871
- Why did you move it?
- I thought you moved it.
1327
01:17:41,964 --> 01:17:45,128
- Why would I move it?
- I don't know, Dad.
- What are we taking that car for?
1328
01:17:45,214 --> 01:17:47,205
- I wanna take the blue truck.
- No, no, we can't take the truck.
1329
01:17:47,298 --> 01:17:50,710
- The truck can't make an 800-mile trip.
- Oh, no. My blue truck.
I want my blue truck.
1330
01:17:50,798 --> 01:17:53,666
- Mom, come o-- come on!
- But my water broke in this truck.
1331
01:17:53,757 --> 01:17:57,502
Get in the car.
I love you. Get in the car.
1332
01:17:57,590 --> 01:18:01,833
Are you sure
all your doubting is over?
1333
01:18:01,924 --> 01:18:05,669
I'm sorry I took you for granted.
I'm sorry I hurt you.
1334
01:18:09,424 --> 01:18:11,499
I want to go home tomorrow.
1335
01:18:11,591 --> 01:18:15,751
So do I.
I want to get out of here.
1336
01:18:36,384 --> 01:18:39,335
- Slow down. There's the taco place.
- Why didn't you tell me you saw it?
1337
01:18:39,426 --> 01:18:41,879
I did tell you.
You were driving too fast.
1338
01:18:41,968 --> 01:18:44,635
You can't make U-turns
like this, Eddie.
1339
01:18:44,719 --> 01:18:47,800
- Relax. We're in the middle of nowhere.
- The, the sign!
1340
01:18:47,885 --> 01:18:51,464
The sign, the sign! The--
Aah! The car!
1341
01:18:53,052 --> 01:18:55,208
Goddam tourists! Shit!
1342
01:18:55,302 --> 01:18:58,798
- What did I just tell you
about the U-turns?
- He was in my blind spot.
1343
01:18:58,885 --> 01:19:02,666
You could fit the state
of Wisconsin in your blind spot.
1344
01:19:02,761 --> 01:19:05,878
-It's their fault. They're in the wrong.
-Doesn't matter. I don't want
some sheriff to come by here.
1345
01:19:05,970 --> 01:19:08,921
- Wh-Where's the-- Where's the acid?
- It's in the trunk, Dad. Yeah.
- It's in the trunk?
1346
01:19:09,011 --> 01:19:13,254
Look. Look, if things
get tight, I want you to do
that spastic colon thing you do.
1347
01:19:13,345 --> 01:19:15,631
-No, no, I'm not gonna do spastic colon.
-Okay, now, do-- something.
1348
01:19:15,720 --> 01:19:20,343
That thing you did when the cops
stopped us in Albuquerque, you know?
That, that, what, that ulcer thing.
1349
01:19:20,429 --> 01:19:24,636
- Um-- Uh, okay, I-- I'll do reflux.
- All right. That's good. Okay.
1350
01:19:30,304 --> 01:19:33,303
- I am so sorry!
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, we're fine.
1351
01:19:33,388 --> 01:19:35,426
You can't just make
a blind U-turn like that.
1352
01:19:35,513 --> 01:19:38,262
I've got a sizable blind spot,
is my problem.
1353
01:19:38,347 --> 01:19:41,298
- Well, I don't see much damage here.
- No, it looks mostly cosmetic.
1354
01:19:41,388 --> 01:19:43,877
- Yeah. It's nothing. Why don't we
just forget about it, all right?
- No, no.
1355
01:19:43,972 --> 01:19:47,254
Well, I don't know. We shouldn't
leave the scene of an accident. I'll
call the police from the taco place.
1356
01:19:47,347 --> 01:19:49,385
Well, you can call the police
if you want to, but, I mean...
1357
01:19:49,473 --> 01:19:51,878
I-I'll tell you right now,
this, this is your fault here.
1358
01:19:51,973 --> 01:19:56,180
I mean, if we make a report, y-your
insurance rates are gonna go sky-high.
1359
01:19:56,264 --> 01:19:59,926
- I mean, it's up to you, but, I mean,
I don't, I don't see the point of it.
- Uh, Pearl, he's making sense.
1360
01:20:00,014 --> 01:20:04,008
No! I have never broken the law.
I am not going to be irresponsible now.
1361
01:20:04,098 --> 01:20:07,547
- Yeah, there's nothing
irresponsible about this.
- No, absolutely. We're all fine.
1362
01:20:07,640 --> 01:20:09,845
There's-- You can see
that we're perfectly okay.
1363
01:20:09,932 --> 01:20:13,345
I, uh, I, I just have this
preexisting medical condition.
1364
01:20:13,432 --> 01:20:16,845
My ileocecal valve is, uh--
doesn't work as it should.
1365
01:20:16,932 --> 01:20:19,503
And it allows c-corrosive juices--
1366
01:20:19,599 --> 01:20:22,551
They seem to rise up
into my oesophagus, and I--
1367
01:20:22,641 --> 01:20:26,089
I, I, I need to get home
so that I can lie down and--
1368
01:20:26,183 --> 01:20:30,473
- We, we really have to go.
- With my head elevated.
1369
01:20:30,558 --> 01:20:33,722
- Ileocecal valve?
- It's chronic.
- Nice meeting you.
1370
01:20:33,808 --> 01:20:36,841
Why did you let them get away?
1371
01:20:36,933 --> 01:20:39,636
We're better off.
Who knows what our liability is?
1372
01:20:39,726 --> 01:20:44,679
Y-Yes! What, what exactly is
our deductible damage waiver?
1373
01:20:44,768 --> 01:20:47,338
Here-- Oh, my God!
1374
01:20:47,434 --> 01:20:50,965
- The car-- it's registered to Mel!
- What?
1375
01:20:51,059 --> 01:20:55,266
Look at the-- Check and see
if our luggage is in the trunk.
1376
01:21:02,019 --> 01:21:04,139
Huh?
1377
01:21:06,060 --> 01:21:08,465
What the hell is this?
1378
01:21:17,186 --> 01:21:21,429
Sometimes the light's
all shining on me
1379
01:21:23,770 --> 01:21:28,059
Other times, I can barely see
1380
01:21:28,145 --> 01:21:30,599
- So then what happened?
- I don't know--
I don't know where anybody is.
1381
01:21:30,687 --> 01:21:32,974
- I mean, I assume-- I mean,
look at this place. It's a wreck.
- Well, I see the place.
1382
01:21:33,062 --> 01:21:35,349
- I-I guess they probably-- Well, then--
- And I'm looking for him,
and I can't find him.
1383
01:21:35,437 --> 01:21:39,846
- So where--
- They probably took him to
the hospital, Tony. I mean, he, he was--
1384
01:21:39,937 --> 01:21:43,634
They didn't take him
to the hospital. Look. Paul!
1385
01:21:43,729 --> 01:21:46,183
Oh, my God!
1386
01:21:48,063 --> 01:21:51,725
- Truckin', I'm a-going home
- You can't catch the wind!
1387
01:21:51,813 --> 01:21:54,349
Whoa, whoa, baby
back where I belong
1388
01:21:54,438 --> 01:21:56,844
-Jerry? W--
- Mm-hmm.
1389
01:21:56,938 --> 01:21:58,929
-Jerry Garcia Jerry?
- Yeah!
1390
01:21:59,022 --> 01:22:02,021
I mean, it's in the family.
It's got a whole history to it.
1391
01:22:02,106 --> 01:22:04,595
You don't even like
the Grateful Dead.
1392
01:22:04,689 --> 01:22:08,020
I never said I don't like them.
I just haven't ever listened to
that much of their music.
1393
01:22:08,106 --> 01:22:10,144
Unless you still like Ethan.
1394
01:22:10,231 --> 01:22:14,272
This is obviously much more important
to you than it is to me.
1395
01:22:14,356 --> 01:22:17,556
Okay? So you pick the name.
But I'll just say one thing.
1396
01:22:17,648 --> 01:22:20,019
- What?
- I think Jerry is very pedestrian.
1397
01:22:20,107 --> 01:22:22,512
How 'bout Garcia?
1398
01:22:22,607 --> 01:22:25,309
- Garcia?
- Garcia Coplin.
1399
01:22:25,399 --> 01:22:28,764
Garcia! Garcia Coplin.
1400
01:22:28,857 --> 01:22:31,180
- Look. Look, he likes it.
- I like it too.
1401
01:22:31,274 --> 01:22:33,976
- Garcia Coplin.
- Yeah.
1402
01:22:34,065 --> 01:22:36,271
- Garcia.
- Yeah.
1403
01:22:38,650 --> 01:22:41,564
- You think I should get that?
- Sure.
1404
01:22:44,275 --> 01:22:46,763
Hello? Shit-- Shitkings--
1405
01:22:46,858 --> 01:22:49,809
- Schlichting.
- Schlichtings' residence.
1406
01:22:50,066 --> 01:22:52,770
- What kind of trouble are you in?
- Us? We're not in trouble.
You're the ones who're in jail.
1407
01:22:52,859 --> 01:22:55,691
There were drugs in the trunk
of your car. Why are there
drugs in the trunk of your car?
1408
01:22:55,776 --> 01:22:58,264
- How did you get our car?
- We tracked you to the ''Shitkings''...
1409
01:22:58,359 --> 01:23:00,646
-Will you-- Will you hurry.
-because we thought you were in trouble.
1410
01:23:00,734 --> 01:23:03,305
- Well, why did you think
we were in trouble?
- Because of the phone call.
1411
01:23:03,401 --> 01:23:08,308
- The truck and the baby.
- Oh, no-- No, Ma, I was talking to that
evil little dwarf woman at the B-and-B.
1412
01:23:08,402 --> 01:23:11,483
- We wer-- We weren't in trouble.
- Oh.
- Your mother as usual has overreacted.
1413
01:23:11,569 --> 01:23:14,271
- I did not overreact, Eddie!
If I overreacted...
- Well, you said in front of--
1414
01:23:14,360 --> 01:23:17,690
why am I wearing handcuffs
in the middle of a jail?
1415
01:23:17,777 --> 01:23:21,522
Th-There's obviously
been some mishap, sir.
These people are not drug runners.
1416
01:23:21,610 --> 01:23:24,645
I mean, look at them.
They're, they're from New York.
They're, they're my parents.
1417
01:23:24,736 --> 01:23:26,940
You hear that, Eddie?
He called us his parents.
1418
01:23:27,028 --> 01:23:29,647
Of course you're
my parents. Mom--
1419
01:23:29,736 --> 01:23:32,225
Oh, Mel.
1420
01:23:32,320 --> 01:23:34,855
- Ow, Ma, your chain's
pulling on my hair.
- Wait a minute. Wait.
1421
01:23:34,945 --> 01:23:37,268
Sorry, darling.
1422
01:23:37,361 --> 01:23:40,395
Bobby, take these forms back
to the office, these release forms.
1423
01:23:40,486 --> 01:23:43,935
And get these nice people their
car keys. This is all over here.
1424
01:23:44,029 --> 01:23:47,395
This is a Federal agent here,
and he just told me the whole story
about the ''Shlytings.''
1425
01:23:47,487 --> 01:23:50,106
- ''Schlitinooks.''
- ''Shitkings.''
- No, Schlichtings.
1426
01:23:50,196 --> 01:23:53,110
Well, anyway, it's clear
that we have the wrong people here.
1427
01:23:53,196 --> 01:23:57,141
- They found--
- That's what I've been trying to tell
this guy for the last half hour.
- Thank God for this Federal agent.
1428
01:23:57,237 --> 01:24:01,149
And by the way, w-w-why
are you not wearing pants?
1429
01:24:01,238 --> 01:24:03,987
- I had an experience, that's why.
- What do you mean?
1430
01:24:04,072 --> 01:24:09,440
I resisted at first, and then it evolved
and it continues to evolve for me.
1431
01:24:09,530 --> 01:24:13,145
I don't know what the hell
he's talking about, but I got some
jewellery somewhere, if you please.
1432
01:24:13,238 --> 01:24:16,024
- A diamond and some turquoise.
- Yes, ma'am. Sure, just let me
get those cuffs for you.
1433
01:24:16,281 --> 01:24:20,440
I don't know. We may be able
to work out a private adoption
through some people I know in Colorado.
1434
01:24:20,531 --> 01:24:23,897
- How long will that take?
- Usually six to-- months
to a year. I don't know.
1435
01:24:23,989 --> 01:24:27,071
But if you're willing to wait,
you know, I may be able to find
a couple of lesbians...
1436
01:24:27,156 --> 01:24:29,443
- who would be willing to conceive...
- That's good. Lesbians are good.
1437
01:24:29,531 --> 01:24:32,814
- and then you could share
the baby with them.
- No way. I'm not gonna do that.
- No? Why?
1438
01:24:32,907 --> 01:24:36,983
- I think these two are homosexuals.
- They want to adopt a kid.
That's so sick.
1439
01:24:37,074 --> 01:24:40,735
Can you imagine the neurosis
that child would be exposed to?
1440
01:24:40,824 --> 01:24:42,980
- Okay. Okay, here we go.
- Okay.
1441
01:24:43,074 --> 01:24:45,479
- Everyone, pull together. Paul, smile.
- Are we ready? Okay.
1442
01:24:45,574 --> 01:24:47,980
One, two!
1443
01:25:14,534 --> 01:25:18,528
- Yo, ye pharaohs, let us walk
- Are you okay?
1444
01:25:18,618 --> 01:25:21,652
Through this barren desert
in search of truth
1445
01:25:21,744 --> 01:25:25,986
And some pointy boots
and maybe a few snack crackers
1446
01:25:29,035 --> 01:25:32,732
Baby, you make me wanna walk
1447
01:25:32,827 --> 01:25:35,031
- All right. All right.
- Like a camel
1448
01:25:35,119 --> 01:25:38,153
- Why do we have to baby-sit tonight?
- Oh, sweetie.
1449
01:25:38,245 --> 01:25:42,108
- Come on, come on. Ahh, yes.
- All right. Shh.
1450
01:25:42,203 --> 01:25:44,526
Okay. Here. That's-- Oh, I know--
1451
01:25:44,620 --> 01:25:47,701
- Because the kids need some time alone.
- The kids need time alone?
1452
01:25:47,786 --> 01:25:52,408
Yes! God, Eddie,
where's your sense of romance?
1453
01:25:57,912 --> 01:25:59,784
Who's in charge here
1454
01:25:59,871 --> 01:26:02,620
- Where's my captain's wafers
- I can't, I can't.
It's making me too nervous.
1455
01:26:02,704 --> 01:26:06,532
- Oh, it made you nervous when he
was in the other room. Come on.
- Okay.
1456
01:26:06,621 --> 01:26:09,109
- Maybe next--
- Will you relax, please?
1457
01:26:09,204 --> 01:26:11,243
- Is that my beeper?
- No, that's not your beeper.
1458
01:26:11,330 --> 01:26:14,198
- Let's get this beeper
and this gun out of here.
- No, my gun--
1459
01:26:14,288 --> 01:26:16,990
Wanna walk
1460
01:26:17,080 --> 01:26:19,320
Like a camel
1461
01:26:21,497 --> 01:26:24,448
It's a blind date. I don't know.
Some benefit or something.
1462
01:26:24,538 --> 01:26:27,537
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1463
01:26:27,623 --> 01:26:30,289
No, I am not smoking, Mother.
Look, I gotta go.
1464
01:26:30,373 --> 01:26:34,580
He's here.
Yeah, he knows. Mm-hmm.
1465
01:26:34,664 --> 01:26:38,279
Yeah, I know.
I'll call you tomorrow. Uh-- Uh-huh.
1466
01:26:38,373 --> 01:26:41,703
Pain in my ass.
I'm coming!
1467
01:26:41,789 --> 01:26:45,831
Say, you don't think there's, uh
any way I can get that quarter
1468
01:26:45,915 --> 01:26:49,744
From underneath
of your pointy boot, do you
All I want--
1469
01:26:49,832 --> 01:26:53,162
- Shalom, shalom.
- Shalom, shalom.
1470
01:26:53,249 --> 01:26:55,868
Shalom. Deeper.
1471
01:26:55,957 --> 01:26:59,537
You guys, this place sucks.
Everybody speaks Spanish.
1472
01:26:59,625 --> 01:27:02,244
- Did you ever hear of knocking?
- What are you looking for?
1473
01:27:02,333 --> 01:27:04,537
- I'm looking for some weed.
- No, you find your own weed.
1474
01:27:04,625 --> 01:27:07,374
- Get out of that drawer.
- You guys, I'm totally bored here.
1475
01:27:07,458 --> 01:27:11,452
Honey-- Honey, it takes time
to make new friends. Be patient.
1476
01:27:13,500 --> 01:27:16,250
Say, you don't think
there's, uh, any way
1477
01:27:16,334 --> 01:27:21,240
I could get that quarter from underneath
of your pointy boot, do you
1478
01:27:21,334 --> 01:27:24,747
All I want is
just one more oatmeal pie
145230
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.