Original subtitles

My dress is all ready to go.

Just be here at 4:30 tomorrow in your tux.

The car will pick us up at 4:45.

And then when we arrive at prom, we'll walk in arm and arm,

and be greeted by the photographer!

You remember our poses?

Click!

Click.

Click! Good!

It'd be funny if his camera went "cluck cluck cluck"!

Like a chicken! (laugh)

Why would...

I'll let it go.

I just can't wait to waltz with you.

The two of us under the lights.

It'll be just like a fairy tale.

Yeah! (chuckles nervously)

Fancy dancing is fun...

(gasp): Oh, my gosh, that dress!

It's even prettier than I remember it being at the store!

Aw, thanks, Mom!

And thanks for being so patient. I know I was kinda picky.

I was patient.

I did not pull out a clump of my own hair!

Charlotte!

That dress is beautiful!

May I please have one, Mama?

Since you asked so politely, no.

-What's up with the shoes? -In honor of your prom,

we asked the Wratherheads if they'd spend all morning

in uncomfortable high heels, or wear a scratchy bow tie.

What kind of psycho

would design a shoe like this?

(gasp)

(panting): I don't know how my Gammy

wears these to the track! Whoa!

Gotta say, I'm not hating the added three inches.

Looking good, guys!

But, you look super, super thirsty.

Watch this.

Hey, wait! Take this back!

-Uh, Mom, a little help, please? -Oh, no, I'm kind of enjoying this.

Hey, that reminds me! You guys wanna see the shoes I picked out?

-Don't leave us! -Just make it to the counter.

(scoffs): Amateurs.

Hey, man, you okay?

Not really. I just found out Charlotte wants to waltz.

-What's the problem? You can't do that? -I can do this.

A demon's got him!

Get to the basement.

No! That was me dancing.

Oh, man. I'm gonna ruin her perfect prom.

Wow. I can't imagine not being an awesome dancer.

Me neither. Poor kid.

Hey, what if we coached him?

-You guys would do that? -Sure!

If anyone can school you in how to crush it

on the dance floor, it's us. Ha.

-Both: Whoa! Whoa! -(crash)

Sweet! Dog pile!

(yelling)

(theme song playing)

♪ Would you rather lose your phone ♪

♪ Or give up pizza for a month? ♪

♪ Share your diary with the world ♪

♪ Or have to eat it for your lunch? ♪

♪ Sing out of tune to your friends ♪

♪ Or trip and fall into your crush? ♪

♪ Shave your head, paint it red ♪

♪ Or use your dog's toothbrush? ♪

♪ We need a little Q and A ♪

♪ Come on Wratherheads, play along ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Or would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Don't matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

♪ Ask the world ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪

♪ No matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

Ask the world!

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

I got the flowers, I reconfirmed the reconfirmation

of the confirmation for the car service.

I-- I feel like there's something I still need to do.

-Breathe? -I can breathe after prom!

-Cami: Charlotte? -Upstairs.

Oh good. Check me out!

I feel like a movie star! Please, no autographs. It's all too much!

Cami, take your sister's dress off right now!

I wanna see how it looks on me!

Fine.

Goodbye, my little Cami-Corns! Stay golden.

Jeez, Ollie! Be careful.

You be careful. You almost got girl dress on my wings.

Seconds, please.

That could've ended badly.

-(splat) -(gasps)

-(gasps) -Oh, yeah.

My friend, Tobias, wants seconds, too.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

It's fine, right? It's okay? Tell me it's gonna be okay!

I'm sorry, Tobias.

The service here is usually way better.

Charlotte's really looking forward to fancy dancing at prom,

so any moves you can show me would be huge.

Oh, we can show you some moves... Bam!

We can show you some sick moves.

Bam bam!

Whoa!

You guys are the real deal.

So, the first thing you need is a partner,

but because we can't use Charlotte, we give you...

Broom Charlotte!

-Noice! -Pretend this is her.

Your hair looks great today.

(high voice): Thanks! I tried this new conditioner!

Do I smell strawberry?

-(high voice): Guess again! -We don't have time for this.

Your prom is tomorrow. Gimme the broom.

-Let go! I'm leading the lesson! -And why would you do that?

Are you gonna make me say it? I'm clearly the better dancer.

Oh please. Everyone in the clubs knows me as

Liquid Fire!

-Let go. -You let go.

-(smack) -Dixon: Ow!

-We hit him! -Dude, are you okay?

Yeah. My face stopped it.

(whisper): Okay, Mom, hurry up!

Sorry. I had to explain to Tobias' mom

why he saw so much weeping during his play date.

Oh! Ollie. Remember when I told you it's never okay to lie?

-Yes. -Well, I lied.

Now, listen closely. Cami and I have to go try to replace

Charlotte's prom dress before she finds out what happened.

If she asks, do whatever you can to distract her.

But, if she wants to know where we are, do not tell her the truth!

Don't worry, Mom, you can trust me.

I lie every day, and no one ever knows.

-Hey, Ollie, did Mom just leave? -She took Cami to the doctor.

Cami got stepped on by a giraffe.

I'll just call her.

Wait! Do you have Chloe Williams' phone number?

Chloe Williams? Why would you wanna talk to Chloe Williams?

I'm playing this super hard puzzle game and I can't beat it.

I thought I'd call Chloe

since she's the smartest girl in school.

She has a 4.3 grade point average.

4.29.

I have a 4.3.

All I know is I've been trying to get these silver balls into the center hole,

but I'm starting to think it can't be done.

It's a game, Ollie. Of course it can be done.

-Here, all you need to do is-- -(rattling)

Oops. Looks like you lost.

-I didn't lose. I just need to-- -(rattle)

Oh, man. That wasn't even close.

(rattling)

It's okay. I mean, even if we don't find an identical dress,

everything will be fine.

Really? You don't think Charlotte will be mad at me?

Oh, no. She's gonna eat you for lunch. I was talking about me.

I have a credit card. I can dye my hair and hop a flight to Mexico.

Wait, the dress!

(gasps): Oh, I can't believe it. We're saved!

Wait a second.

I would recognize that giant bear paw anywhere.

Judy Vanderweesan.

Hello, Jenna. Could you wrap this up for me?

I don't work here.

Well then, can you please let go of my dress?

-(scoffs) -Your dress? You mean our dress?

I feel so tiny.

Judy, my daughter Charlotte has her prom tomorrow.

Well, my daughter, Chayanne-abell, has her School Picture Day next month.

Picture Day? People don't dress formal for a school photo.

-Well, I suppose some people don't. -(scoffs)

How about you let us buy this dress,

and we'll give you this beauty right here?

Wow, that smells bad.

Ladies, ladies, can you please not play tug of war with my merchandise?

-Oh, but this is mine. -No, it's mine!

Ooh, actually, i-it's... neither of yours.

As you can see, this dress is on hold for another customer.

However, if that person fails to pick it up

by the end of the day, it'll go back on sale again tomorrow.

First come, first served.

Does anyone else smell buffalo wings?

-Ah! -Hm, I'm sorry.

Does that squeak mean a good thing just happened?

(whispered): I will hurt you.

-Shh, shh... -(loudly): Who do you want to be quiet?

Me or Charlotte?

Uh, no one, bud. Just messing around.

Mm, good one. Classic Coop.

Quiet. No talking.

Talking makes the silver balls move when they're not supposed to,

and that makes Charlotte a little bit loony!

You're a lucky, lucky fella.

-(rattle) -I will end you!

Safety turtle!

Bad news. The dentist can't see Dixon until Monday.

Guys! This website says I have backup teeth

that'll just move in and replace the lost one.

And... I may grow up to be 15 feet long!

Oops.

I was reading about sharks.

Wati a sec. I may know how to cover your missing tooth.

I've come to suck your blood.

Cooper, I can't go to prom with Charlotte looking like a vampire.

-I know 'cause I already asked. -Oh.

You know what? Let's just ask the Wratherheads for help!

Hey, guys! So, one of our buddies lost a tooth.

Don't tell them who it is.

Hi, Wratherheads!

Anyway, he's got prom tomorrow,

and there's no time to get it fixed. So, what do we do?

"Dentures. Ask the Tooth Fairy."

Psycho Ted says, "Every time I need a spare tooth,

I go down to the rink." Nice try, Psycho Ted,

but that's where we lost his tooth in the first place.

Wait. We couldn't find Dixon's tooth,

but maybe we could find someone else's.

People lose teeth all the time playing hockey.

Never said this before, but thanks, Psycho Ted. (laughs)

All right. First thing tomorrow, we go down to Dinky's,

find a tooth, and glue it onto Dixon's gums!

The only question left is when we get there,

do we order nachos or pretzels?

All: Hm...

Look alive, Judy!

-(gasps) -Oh, sorry, was that too loud?

Guess we both got the text that the dress was still here.

Now, it comes down to who wants it more.

(cracking)

I guess it does. Wait, what's that?

It says the store won't open today because of an illness in the family.

Oh, my.

If you leave now, you might be able to grab a pantsuit

from Bob's Fashion Hut.

A fake note? Is this really how

you wanna remember your daughter's class photo?

Her dressed in an outfit spun

from your web of lies?

Shame, Judy. Shame.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Yes, Sergeant.

What? My house has been flooded and all my furniture's

floating down the street? That's so... sad.

But, not as sad as

a 12-year-old trying to disguise her voice.

I'm actually 13, so...

ya burned.

Fail.

-How's the game going? -Great.

I'm seconds away from conquering it,

and then I can get dressed for prom tonight.

What? You're gonna beat it?

Yup. Just a few more moves...

-Spider! -(screams)

Oh wait. It's just a...

refrigerator.

Ollie! Did you do that on purpose?

No.

(scoffs): I can't start this again. I have to get ready.

I get it, but could you forward me Chloe's email?

I just need someone who can show me that the impossible is really possible.

Okay, you're obviously trying to goad me into playing this,

but it's not gonna work!

I don't need to beat it!

Give the stupid game.

Now, when the store opens,

I'll leap-block Judy into the mannequin on the right,

then you sweep left and look for the dress.

Remember, you were blessed with pointy elbows. Use them!

Cami, promise me you won't be a hero.

If Judy lays me out, you just get that dress

and leave me on the floor.

-You hear me? -Hey.

Don't talk like that. We're both gonna make it out.

Promise me. No matter how much I beg,

you keep going.

I promise, Mama.

W-What am I doing? This isn't right.

Judy, we need to stop this nonsense.

Is this really the message we wanna send our children?

You make a good point, Jenna. But, how do we decide who gets the dress?

How about a good old-fashioned coin flip, winner gets the gown, no hard feelings?

-I can live with that. -Shake on it?

(gasps)

(screams)

Oh, it's on!

(slow motion groaning)

(crashing)

Oh, this isn't it!

(slow motion): Cami, go!

(slow motion): No!

(crashing)

(screaming)

(panting)

-You take credit cards, right? -Uh-huh...

Guys, any luck? I have to pick up Charlotte soon.

Nope. There's not one lousy tooth anywhere in this place.

This country's gone soft.

I thought I saw some in the trash,

but it turned out to be a couple of white jellybeans.

-I ate the other one. -Anything in the lost and found?

No. All they have in here are pieces of a giant flyswatter,

a bucket filled with worm dirt, fake beard,

"Minty for Social Chair" signs, a disco ball,

Rhinestone Cowboy hat, love letter to Delaware, Dinkfest T-shirt,

skateboard helmet with glued-on bangs, "Sapphire Flame" leg warmers,

and a championship leg wrestling belt.

Both: That's mine.

We'll settle this later, Fred.

(locker shuts)

Right now, we have to help Dixon.

Guess all I can do is hope that even though I don't have a tooth,

I can still give Charlotte her dream prom.

What's happening?

Someone closed the locker on my pants!

-I'm stuck! -Should I go get help?

No. Don't worry. We have all the muscle we need to pull you outta there.

I'm a power lifter, and Cooper...

has a positive attitude.

-One, two, three! -(rip)

Cooper! What did you do?

I'm picking up my son!

Are you two gonna follow me around all day?

If that's what it takes to get some answers.

By the way, why didn't you leave the dress in the car?

Do you really think we'd steal it?

Yes.

-Ah! -(Fred gasps)

I-I mean, hello. Uh (chuckles), nothing to see here.

Just three guys in long pants with all their teeth.

And I don't have a backpack filled with a buffalo sauce-stained dress!

-Good for you. -See ya!

Judy, I thought we had a deal. Flip a coin!

What you did was despicable.

What I did was win.

Judy, my daughter has been dreaming of wearing this dress

for a month. It's her prom!

It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Please, Mrs. Vandergiant.

(sighs) You can't expect my sister to wear this.

It would scar her for life.

Oh, sweetie, when you beg like that,

you sound like your mother.

Okay, that's it.

-Elbows up! -Stop!

We can't do this.

Why are we fighting over a silly dress?

You're talking about Charlotte feeling scarred?

She shouldn't be putting that kind of importance on a dress.

It's who you are, not what you wear.

Ugh. Can you recite your bumper sticker saying somewhere else?

Judy, you go ahead and keep the dress.

I wanna raise my daughters to value the important things in life.

(laughing): Which is what?

That it's okay to lose?

(laughing)

I would stay here and laugh at you more, but my son's ready. Octavius!

Well, I meant what I said. And if nothing else,

I hope you got something out of my little speech.

I sure did.

-I got Charlotte's dress. -What?

I made the switch while you distracted Judy.

Great diversion tactic, Mom!

I wasn't doing a tactic! I was making a plea for human decency.

Wait! Are we giving the dress back to Judy?

Of course we are.

Right after Charlotte wears it to her prom.

I think we made this work, Fred.

Cutting off the other pant leg was genius, Coop.

-Now he totally matches! -Hey, you're the guy

who traded his hot dog to get those dope cowboy boots from the janitor.

I saw them and I knew what had to be done.

Now, we just had to put a jelly bean in his mouth and he's perfect.

It fits! Thanks, guys.

You totally saved me. (laughs)

(chuckles): Charlotte's gonna kill us, right?

Oh, absolutely.

-Achoo! -Ow!

-We're here! -And we've got the dress.

Both: Oh, my...

Oh, good, you're back.

Ollie, remember when I said

-I lied about it not being okay to lie? -Uh-huh.

Well, I lied. It's not okay to lie.

You lied about lying about it not being okay to lie?

Yes. So... don't lie.

Okay!

Mom says I shouldn't lie.

I think. She seems scattered.

So, you can stop playing. I never was gonna call Chloe Williams.

Just a sec, Coop.

I got you...

Oh! I'm doing it.

(laughs) I'm doing it! I'm actually gonna--

You can stop playing the game!

Did you win?

I hope for your sake, Charlotte's in a good mood.

(Charlotte screams)

(smashing)

Talk to Mom. She may have some hair dye and a Mexican airline ticket.

Sorry. I didn't know you guys were here.

I hope no one was... What am I looking at?

Charlotte, what are you doing?

You could've really injured someone with that reckless temper!

Thank goodness you just knocked out his tooth.

Uh, boys?

Oh, my gosh, Jonathan. I--

I feel horrible. What can I do to make it up to you?

Two boxes of white jelly beans.

A leather bomber jacket, boys medium.

Okay, that's it. This house has seen enough lies for one day.

I thought my dress was in my closet. What're you doing with it?

We had to replace your dress after Ollie's friend spilled food on it

while Cami was trying it on.

It's true. I'm really sorry.

But, we fixed our mess up.

Unlike...

What happened?

We knocked out Dixon's tooth teaching him to dance with a broom.

Don't worry. It wasn't weird. The broom had a wig,

googly eyes, and we called it Charlotte!

I don' know how to fancy dance, and I was too embarrassed to tell you.

I didn't wanna mess up your perfect night.

None of us did.

We just hope you can still have a perfect prom,

even though everything isn't perfect.

Maybe I was a little over the top

with the dress, the poses, and planning.

So, you're not mad?

No. Mom's right.

It shouldn't be about everything being perfect.

Please close your mouth.

What matters is us being there together.

-Aw. -Aw.

-But, you are changing out of those boots. -Boys: Aw.

-Look who's back! Was it fun? -Yeah, it was.

People couldn't take their eyes off of us.

-Oh, don't be scared. That's him dancing. -(Charlotte laughs)

It was the perfect evening, and I'm glad you're all here

because I've done some thinking, and from now on, I'm gonna try

to not let the little things bother me.

Good for you. That's very mature.

(rattle)

Ollie, why are you still playing that game?

It's impossible. It can't be won.

Actually, I already solved it.

You did?

-So did I. -Me, too.

It's actually simple.

Uh-huh! (laughs)

That's okay because you're not gonna let the little things bother you.

Hm, that's right. (laughs)

-(crack) -Ow! My counting hand!

-Gimme the game! -Ah!

Cami: Ya burned.