Original subtitles

Hey, Wratherheads!

Someone's got a 13th birthday coming up.

-It's me! -You're talking to a tree.

It's me!

So Mom suggested we do a special birthday edition

that's full of surprises.

The first surprise. I'll be the one doing whatever you guys pick.

I'm actually OK with that.

(groans) I'm starting to feel my age.

So today's party-themed question is...

Would you rather take a scenic birthday balloon ride?

Yeah, there's no way I'm doing that.

Don't worry, you won't be alone. We got you a co-pilot.

I'm not sitting next to that thing.

That thing has a name!

Um, guys?

Oh, stop. Please. Come back.

Jump, Lil' Cami! Papa's got you!

Welp, looks like Whack-A-Cami piñata wins.

-That does not look like me. -Teen years can be awkward.

No offense, piñata me.

But I'm about to beat the candy out of you.

-One. Two. Go! Swing! -She's gonna fall.

Ew! What is this?

Ollie, when we told you to fill the piñata with chocolate,

we meant bars not sauce.

Huh. That does make more sense.

(theme song playing)

♪ Would you rather lose your phone ♪

♪ Or give up pizza for a month? ♪

♪ Share your diary with the world ♪

♪ Or have to eat it for your lunch? ♪

♪ Sing out of tune to your friends ♪

♪ Or trip and fall into your crush? ♪

♪ Shave your head, paint it red ♪

♪ Or use your dog's toothbrush? ♪

♪ We need a little Q and A ♪

♪ Come on, Wratherheads, play along ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

♪ Don't matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

♪ Ask the world ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Would you rather do this? ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪

♪ Or would you rather just dance? ♪

♪ No matter what we do ♪

♪ We're doing it with you ♪

♪ I'd rather do that ♪

Ask the world!

♪ Would you rather do that? ♪

I'm telling you, Delaware, I have a history of terrible birthday parties.

It can't be that bad.

-It's that bad. Pick an age. -OK. Six.

Pony threw up on me.

-Nine. -Ah. Angry skunk in the bouncy house.

-Eleven. -The clown fell down the stairs.

Yes. Fell.

Anyway, I need everyone's help to make sure

the birthday curse doesn't strike again. Especially cause it's number 13.

Actually in some cultures,

the number 13 is considered very lucky.

-Really? -But in most, it's really, really bad.

Like, horror movie bad.

Any luck getting Cami the Ariana Grande concert tickets for this weekend?

No. I couldn't win any of the radio station call-in contests.

I even called one of the DJs at home. Turns out they really don't like that.

That concert sold out in 30 seconds. This was our only hope.

Nothing else we give Cami will be even half as good.

Hey, maybe the theme of your party this year could be Disaster!

Then, no matter what goes wrong, it's like you planned it.

Actually, I already got a theme.

Carnivale!

-Carnival? -No. Carnivale!

It's like carnival, but with an "e" on the end, so it's fancy.

Mom gave me a budget and we hired acrobats,

fire-eaters, and sword-swallowers.

Cool... To do what?

-Is Ollie in here? -No. Why?

I just picked up Cami's birthday cake

and that boy is a cake's most dangerous predator.

Whoa. Is that from Land O' Cakes? I love that place.

-Oh, my gosh, that smell. -I know!

Is it weird that I sealed up my car windows so I could trap in the scent?

No. Is it weird that I wanna go sniff your car seats?

Yes.

We need to hide this quick.

-It's only a matter of time before-- -Where is it?

Where's what?

Vanilla bean, perhaps? Wait! (sniffs) Buttercream. Bam!

You will not drool on me!

Hello, cake.

My name is Oliver Wrather.

And I'm your worst nightmare.

Ollie, you are not allowed anywhere near this ca-- (gasps)

It's too late. He's got his fork-sleeves!

Ollie, I mean it.

This year, I want Cami's birthday to be perfect.

So can you please do your part and help out?

Fine. You live. For now...

Wait! I also smell ice cream.

Get out of my kitchen!

Fred, without those concert tickets, we got nothing.

Cami's party is tomorrow night. We're running out of time.

I told you, I can't help you brainstorm until I've had my Yes-I-Can-taloupe.

(gasps) Sweet birthday magic!

Cooper, look! It's Ariana Grande!

Fred, that's not--

Sweet birthday magic! It's her.

She must be in town for her concert this Sunday.

And I see she's a fellow Can-talouper. Nice.

(both gasp)

Dude, you know what we can do to make Cami's 13th the most epic party ever?

-Invite Ariana Grande! -That's genius!

As the only one of us who's spent any significant time

around a celebrity, let me do the talking.

Just because your uncle ran onto the field at that baseball game,

doesn't make him a celebrity.

He was on TV! Just let me handle it.

Why, hello there. The name's Fred.

(squeals) I like your hair!

(normal voice) You're up.

Hey, so sorry to bother you...

I'm just saying,

if you run across a baseball field in your underwear, you're a celebrity.

Am I right? Or am I right?

She said yes!

-(gasps) This is crazy! -I know!

(both giggle)

That was like, so nice.

I just got invited to some girl's b-day party.

Apparently she's a big fan.

(gasps) She must've tried my Smoothie of the Month.

Cami, say goodbye to the birthday curse.

We've gotten you the greatest present ever!

-We got-- -Wait. I wanna say it.

Well, so do I. Let's both say it.

Both: Ariana Grande is coming to your party!

Wait, what?

They said Ariana Grande is coming to your party!

-Yeah. -Wait, what?

You know how she's in town for her concert?

Well, we saw her today at Fast N' Fruity.

I asked her if she'd come to your party and she said yes!

-Don't mess with me. -Don't mess with her!

-We're not. -She's coming!

She's very down to Earth about her celebrity.

Unlike my uncle.

Oh, my goodness. This is insane!

-Do you think she'll sing a song? -I'm sure she will! Ari's cool like that.

OK. We're gonna have to find a bigger place than the backyard.

Forget "Carnivale." That's kid stuff. This party is for a teenager!

Thank you, guys. This is amazing!

Hello, Sweet Thing. Shall we dance?

-(alarm blaring) -Jenna: Busted.

Busted. Busted.

Well, look what we have here.

Never wake a sleepwalker.

Save it, Cakeboy. We hid it.

Well actually, I hid it.

Mom spent all afternoon making that weird cake alarm.

You would really ruin your sister's big day just for a little sugar rush?

Yes.

Back to bed. Now.

I am very disappointed in you!

Let's put this in the garage.

Mmm. There's that smell again.

Ah, notes of caramel.

Dancing on a bed of luscious butter cream.

(laughs nervously) What if we tried just a little bit of the icing?

-I'm listening. -You know, just to make sure it's OK.

-Quality control. -Mm-hmm.

I'm just gonna take the slightest little bit.

Not with a spatula! It's too big.

Hey hands off! I got it.

(gasps)

What have you done?

Look where we are, Cami.

Getting juice from the place where it all happened.

We've been working non-stop to get everything ready for the party tonight.

It's gonna be great. Gotta go!

Welcome to Fast N' Fruity. Oh, hey, it's you guys!

Why are you behind the counter...

-In a uniform? -...that says Jen?

Because I work here.

Ariana Grande works at a juice shop?

She does?

Oh, man, Cami's gone all out and now Ariana's not coming.

This is gonna be really, really bad... when you tell her.

I really think this type of thing is better coming from family.

-Why don't we ask the Wratherheads? -Because I'm not camera-ready.

Too late.

Hey, guys. Fred and I need your advice.

If you had to receive bad news,

is it better to come from a sibling or a friend?

Yes. What do you guys think?

A friend? Or a loving brother?

They're saying we should both do it.

Fine. Time to step up and be the men that we are!

Cami? We have to tell you something.

That you don't know how to dress yourselves?

-(both laugh) -Good one.

Delaware, here's the list for the party. Make sure everyone's invited tonight.

Even people in prison?

No. Not people in prison.

You guys, I can't thank you enough. This feels like a dream!

Yeah. About that... It's kinda funny.

(both laugh nervously)

Remember when we told you we met Ariana Grande?

And we got her to come to your party?

-Yes... -(both laugh nervously)

Well, turns out, it wasn't her! It was just a girl that looks like her!

(awkwardly laughs) Hilarious mix-up, right?

What? Ariana Grande's not coming?

-Be gentle! -Not the face!

I knew it. It's the birthday curse.

I guess I'm just not meant to have a good party.

Even for my 13th.

So did they fix it?

They said they couldn't squeeze me in today.

That bakery is backed up worse than your Uncle Ted.

That's a weird thing to work into the convo.

The one present Cami asked for was a cake from Land O' Cakes.

Now look at it.

My baby has a spatula face!

-Ollie. -Relax. You were right.

I need to do my part for Cami's birthday.

I even made you a card to apologize.

"I'm sorry. Only a big jerk would try to eat

someone's special cake before their special day."

Take my forks. I'm not worthy.

-We're terrible people! -We have to fix this.

We could do it. It's just re-doing the face.

I've been crushing it in art class at the community center.

I've got all the frosting we need down at the snack bar.

Look at us, working together, there's nothing we can't do!

Absolutely! (laughs)

-I guess there is something we can't do. -Absolutely.

Look. You owe me. Your pony threw up on me.

Good news. I talked to my uncle and he can appear at your party.

The underwear guy?

Or, we just found out Ariana's auditioning local dancers

this afternoon for her concert.

-You should try out. -But what if I don't get it?

Doesn't matter. It'd put you in the room with her.

Then use your Cami charm to get her to come to the party.

-All right. Let's do it. -Great! And we'll come with you.

-Just for support. -Not because we're fanboys.

Like if you told us Ariana's favorite snack was blueberries,

we'd be like, what?

It's on her fan page. You pointed it out to me.

Can you just once follow what I'm doing?

Now what are we gonna do?

Well, for starters, we're getting your money back from that art class.

We can't let Cami see this.

Or Ollie. He'll never let us hear the end of it.

You're right. I won't.

You have ruined that beautiful cake.

I am very disappointed with the both of you.

Both: We're sorry.

Lucky for you, I'm an expert at fixing up cakes

to make them look untouched.

Excuse me?

I've had a bite of every cake that's ever passed

through this house and no one's ever known.

Remember that raspberry unicorn cake for your middle school graduation?

Yes.

I ate a quarter of its head before it even got to the restaurant.

But that cake looked perfect.

The entire left corner was rebuilt with dinner rolls and mayonnaise.

You twisted little genius.

So, can you turn this into something presentable?

We're desperate.

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

One thing's for sure. You don't wanna watch this.

'Cause it's gonna get bad before it gets better.

I'm the only girl here. There's no way Ariana won't notice me!

Hi! Cami Wrather. Here to audition.

Sorry, sweetie, but we're only auditioning male dancers.

Oh did I say "Cami"? (deep voice) I meant Bob.

(normal voice) Fine, I guess I'll just... Wait, what's that over there?

(laughs) That's a closet.

-Goodbye. -OK...

That was an epic fail.

Ugh. We were so close! Ariana's just on the other side of that door.

And all these guys are gonna meet her.

I mean, what do they have that we don't have?

Talent. But that's never stopped us before.

(dance music playing)

So when do we meet Ariana?

Get out.

People are gonna be here soon. And all we have is an empty stage.

Did you call the Carnivale people? Will any of them come back?

No. But I watched an online video and I'm pretty sure I can swallow a sword.

-Wanna see? -Not even a little.

Cami Wrather, get ready. Someone special is coming to your party...

Say hello to Ariana Grande... ish.

Hi. I'm Jen!

Hi, Jen!

(laughs) Who's Jen?

I'm Jen!

After the back-up dancer fail,

we stopped at the juice shop for a pick-me-up.

That's when it hit us. If Jen here could fool

two incredibly sharp guys like us...

She could fool anyone!

Guys, that'll never work.

Can I just say I'm a huge Fast N' Fruity fan?

I can't believe I'm actually standing next to you.

Selfie? (squeals)

(shutter clicks)

I mean, she does look like Ariana.

We just put her in the right clothes and make-up, no one will know.

And you're OK with this?

I've had a few bad birthdays myself, so I'm happy to help.

Plus your brother gave me ten bucks.

All right. Desperate times, right? Wait. What about a song?

Oh, yeah. Fred mentioned singing.

Don't worry! I gotcha covered.

OK, let's give it a shot.

Yeah. What's the worst that could happen?

Well, I could be exposed as a liar

and my entire reputation at school could be ruined.

Hmm. There is that.

(dance music plays)

Where is Ollie with that cake?

Ollie: Coming through!

Ollie, Thank goodness! Where have you been?

Just making some last-minute adjustments. She's gonna love it.

-Let's take a look at your handiwork. -Bap-bap.

I think it's clear you two cannot be trusted

around tasty desserts.

I knew he'd throw that back in our faces.

All right, Jen, come on out!

Ta-da!

Wow, Cami. You did a great job.

We might actually be able to pull this off!

Yeah, we will!

This is gonna be the best Taylor Swift concert ever!

-Hey, everyone! -(crowd cheers)

Here to wish my sister Cami a very happy birthday,

Miss Ariana Grande!

(crowd applauds)

(imitating Ariana Grande) Hi, guys! You ready to get this party started?

(cheering)

Do you recognize this song?

♪ Fast N' Fruity, that's our name ♪

♪ Delicious fruit drinks that's our game ♪

♪ Fast N' Fruity delicious fruit drinks ♪

-What is she singing? -The Fast N' Fruity jingle!

What's wrong with Ariana Grande?

♪ Take bananas and peaches And you chop 'em all up ♪

♪ Then you mix 'em in a blender And you serve 'em in a cup ♪

What are you doing? You're supposed to be Ariana!

Sorry, I don't know any of her songs by heart.

But this is pretty good, right?

♪ Then you choppy, chop chop Ch-Ch-choppy chop ♪

-Ahh! -(crowd gasps)

Wait. That's not Ariana. That's my old babysitter, Jen.

Hey! Oh, my gosh!

Look how much you've grown, Pey-Pey.

It's over. I gotta come clean.

Nope. This one's on us.

So... everyone.

This isn't really Ariana Grande.

-(crowd groans) -But it isn't Cami's fault.

-It's mine. -And mine.

We couldn't get the real Ariana so we tried to trick you.

Cami had nothing to do with it.

I can still keep the ten bucks, right?

-This is hard to watch. -We gotta save this.

Cake time!

Happy-- Oh forget it.

Ollie!

It's our favorite character from Zombie E.R.

I love it! Thank you.

And that's how it's done.

You know what, every year you guys work hard

to try and make my birthday awesome with presents and cakes.

And now I'm realizing

that means way more to me than having a perfect party.

And even though my birthdays never go as planned,

at least they're always memorable.

-No one's ever gonna forget this one. -(laughter)

Hey. Just 'cause we couldn't get Ariana

doesn't mean we can't have an Ariana party!

(cheering and applause)

♪ If you want it, take it ♪

♪ I should have said it before ♪

♪ Tried to hide it, fake it ♪

♪ I can't pretend anymore ♪

♪ I only want to die alive ♪

♪ Never by the hands of a broken heart ♪

♪ I don't wanna hear you lie tonight ♪

♪ Now that I've become who I really am ♪

All: ♪ This is the part when I say I don't want ya ♪

♪ I'm stronger than I've been before ♪

♪ This is the part when I break free ♪

♪ ' Cause I can't resist it no more ♪

♪ This is the part when I say I don't want ya ♪

♪ I'm stronger than I've been before ♪

♪ This is the part when I break free ♪

♪ ' Cause I can't resist it no more ♪

(cheering)

Happy birthday, Cami.

(as Ariana Grande) ♪ Happy birthday ♪

Yeah, we're done with that now.

Thanks. This ended up being the best birthday ever.

This cake tastes awesome.

Uh, Ollie, did you put a sock in here?

-How'd that get in there? -I'm out.

(groaning)

It's just too easy.

And now, my lady, we dance.

(laughs) Ahh!

(Fred in high voice) I like your hair!