Original subtitles

[whistles]

* Some say I'm just a kid *

* But I stand tall Like a pyramid *

* One day I'll be mythic *

* Read about it In hieroglyphics *

* Ah-ee-ah-ah-oh

* It's written in the stars, I'm who I'm gonna be *

* I'm takin' on the world This time *

* It's written in the stars, I'm all that I can be *

* I feel the power In my heart *

* It's written in the stars *

[Cleopatra] Whoo! Ha ha ha ha!

Whoo!

Whoa! Whoa-oh!

Cleopatra, comin' at ya!

Whoo! Ha ha! Whoa!

-Aaah! -'Sup, Dennis?!

Oh. Hi, Cleo!

Whoo!

Waaah!

[Cleo laughing]

Cleo!

I just saw all nine of my lives flash before my eyes!

Sorry!

[gasps]

-Ohh. -[beeping]

I have a training exercise for Cleopatra and your team.

You will recover a data cube

from a temple in the Bisu jungle, on Tawris.

-Sounds simple enough. -Indeed.

But Cleopatra is getting a little overconfident.

Her training is a serious matter,

and she needs to show some prudence.

Well, I have to agree. Thank you.

-[whooshing] -Uhh!

-So, ready for your presentation? -What presentation?

The exobiology presentation-- that we're doing right now!

-In this exobiology class? -Ooh. Whoops.

Totally slipped my mind. [blows]

You didn't prepare?! This is a nightmare!

Wait.Isthis a nightmare? Because not preparing for an exobiology presentation

is a nightmare I frequently have.

-That's very specific. -What are you gonna do?!

Akila, I practically ruled an empire.

I'm pretty sure I can handle one little

exobiology presentation.

[grunts]

Quick question.

What is... exobiology?

[gasps] This isn't good.

-Not good at all. -Relax.

Things always work out for me. Especially if I don't prepare.

[Professor Jurval] Cleopatra, Akila,

You're going on a training mission with Professor Khensu.

You can do your presentations tomorrow.

I'm sure you're devastated by this delay.

Last minute stay of execution! Yes!

Uh...

You two collect Brian, and I'll fuel up a ship.

Cleo! No hoverboard.

Come on, Khensu. Legs are so slow.

You can have it back after.

I need you to focus on this mission and show me that--

-Cleo? -Yeah, she's not a

"wait for explanations" kind of person.

-[whirring] -[sentry]Hostile mech detected.

Ohh!

Aaah!

Aaah! Aaah!

Argh! I am not a hostile mech!

[crashes]

OK, I'm alittlehostile.

Um, are we interrupting something?

Uh, I was just recalibrating the sentry.

Yeah, you recalibrated the heck out of it!

It's a prototype designed to detect hostile machinery--

[sentry] Hostile mech detected.

-Aaah! -[crash]

Brian, we're going on a mission.

What?

No! You can't make me!

I know missions make you anxious,

but this is a simple training exercise.

Dude, I'm not anxious!

It's just important to get the sentry operational.

Also, on that one mission, someonemelted my foot.

How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?

Brian, you have to come.

As savior of the galaxy, I command you.

Ahh! All right. But are you gonna pull

that savior card every time you want me to do something?

Well, it just worked, so yes, I totally am.

[groans] Fine.

But I'm not going because you're the savior.

I'm going because I'm afraid to be alone with the sentry.

-It doesn't like me. -Hostile mech detected.

Aah! Uhh! Ohh!

[Khensu]We need to locate the temple

and retrieve the data cube.

Hyah!

It may be simple, but it's important

notto get overconfident!

When have I ever been overconfident?

-[quaser blasting] -Aaah! [panting]

-Aah! -Heh heh heh.

Cleo, that was very close.

-Thank you! -Not a compliment.

Just please, put the quasers down.

-[blasting] -Aah!

Hey, guys? I don't think

this simple training mission is gonna be so simple.

That is a Xerx fortress!

[clanking]

Wah!

So... we're leaving, right?

I mean, obviously we're leaving.

No way. We should kick some Xerx butt!

It's too dangerous to go in without a plan.

We should regroup and--

She's... gone again, isn't she?

[quasers blasting]

Hyah! Heh heh.

Take that, ya big tin can!

Yeah! Ha ha!

Wha--?

[clanking]

You guys decided to join the party!

You didn't give us much choice.

Whoo!

Whoo! Yeah!

Ha ha!

Uhh! Yeah!

Whoo!

[sentry] Hostile mech detected.

He's not even a machine!

[both gasp]

-Retreat! -Aaah!

On the bright side, your sentry seems to be working.

I'm aborting this mission. Cleo, get back to the ship!

[yowls]

-Oh, no! -[Akila] Hey!

Don't worry! I'll save you!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Whoa-oh-oh...

[gasping]

[coughing]

Unh! Aaah!

What happened? The Xerxes, they--

Uh, who are you guys?

Are you gonna try and, like, eat us, or do you come in peace?

Uh, the second one.

You're pointing the wrong end of that spear at me, by the way.

The other end could hurt you. And Gled doesn't want that.

-Who's Gled? -Gled is Gled.

[Gurp] Gled's our chief.

I mean, we're not, like, into labels or anything,

but every tribe's gotta have a "leader," right?

Oh, yeah, hey, I'm Gurp, and this is, uh, everyone.

Say hey, everyone!

-[all] Hey. -Hey-hey.

I'm Cleo. I came here with my friends,

but the Xerxes captured them.

The big angry metal dudes?

Oh, man, that's a tough break.

I tried to fight them, but there's just too many.

-Gled does not approve, man. -Of fighting?

We, like, hate violence.

Long ago, we Tawrisians were a warlike race.

We fought and slaughtered

and tore our enemies to pieces...

rending them asunder

with our savage fury!

We were mighty warriors!

Aaaaah!

No, no, noooo.

Gled is calm, Gled is serene.

You know what they say:

"The Zen is mightier than the sword."

Look, if you guys were warriors once, you could be warriors again.

You could get those Xerxes off your planet and help me save my friends.

No way, man.

We are not going back to our warlike ways.

We got them under control ages ago,

by dedicating ourselves to the three high virtues:

humility, serenity, caution...

and humility.

But wouldn't it feel good to take your planet back?

No.

It would be...

[groaning]

...glorious!

Gled would crush their skulls!

Gled would destroy all those who stood against Gled!

[mighty roar] Blood!

Ohh. Ohh.

Or, like, something.

But my friends-- we have to save them!

Look, even if Gled wanted to help you,

Gled can't.

It's not just that, you know,

we like to keep it, like, chill,

but we can only help a member of the tribe.

Gled isn't really a "rules" guy,

but it's the one rule Gled's got.

Wait. What if I joined your tribe?

Um...

I guess it would be cool.

You'd have to go through initiation to, like,

test your mastery of the three high virtues:

humility, serenity--

And caution. Yeah, got it. Let's make this super quick.

Whoa. You just failed the serenity part, dude.

Gled's never seen anyone fail a section before it starts.

That's, like, almost impressive.

Call it a practice round.

Right on, man.

Let the initiation begin!

Or whatever.

[loud, clomping footsteps]

OK,

is this room getting smaller,

or am I getting bigger?

Neither. You're just freaking out.

Oh. [chuckles] Am I?

-Am I freaking out? -Whoa!

A more productive use of our time

would be to work out how to get out of here.

Technically, this is still a training exercise.

Is this really the time for a teachable moment?

We're not in any immediate danger.

I'd like to hear your ideas.

[pained cries]

Aaahhh!

-[Brian groans] -Fantastic.

Any more ideas?

[Brian groans]

[Gurp] Now you are ready to begin your initiat--

Uh-- hold that thought.

[giggles]

Humility, fail.

Huh?

[Gurp] Next, you must juggle the balls of wisdom, yo.

[comical grunts]

Go.

Um...

[grunts]

Ohh.

[grunts]

I'm never gonna be able to do this.

I've only got two arms!

I know!

You must be terrible at clapping!

Ha ha! We are so good at this!

-[happy grunts] -Would you stop that?

I'm trying to save my friends!

Serenity, fail.

Next, you must drink a cup of toad tea.

But... it is highly toxic.

[sipping]

Hm. Not bad, actually.

Kind of tastes like...

pain.

Dude!

I just told you it was poison!

I mean, like, why would you drink it?

[gasps] Because you told me to.

Caution, fail.

[Akila] OK, we could short out the power cord

with something metal, like Brian's finger,

or we could fashion a key out of something metal,

like Brian's finger.

Or we could annoy the guard by singing really loud

until he comes in, and then attack him

with something metal, like Brian's finger!

Why does every plan involve me losing a finger?

Sorry. Sometimes when I'm nervous I fixate on one thing, OK?

You can't think of anything else, anything simpler?

[sighs]

You mean you could have done that this whole time?

The lesson is,

never overlook the simplest solution.

Teachable moment over.

There's a security code on the lock.

If I were a Xerx password, what would I be?

Um...

O-Octavian! Conquest!

[sharp gasp] Brian's finger!

[Gled] Well, you've blown it so far,

but, lucky for you,

this final test counts for, like,

a hundred percent of your grade.

You mean none of that other stuff mattered?

Does anything matter?

Is the universe real?

Is it just the dream of a tadpole

before it becomes a butterfly?

Tadpoles don't become butterflies!

[huffs] You have a seriously narrow mindset, man.

Can we just get on with this, please?

OK.

The final challenge is to bring back

one delicious zifflenut, from over there.

OK, look at my eyes.

You go down the mountain,

across the river, up the volcano.

[Gled] Right.

You'll face tons of gnarly obstacles,

like harsh weather, freaky bugs,

and the Fungus God.

Wait-wait. Fungus God?!

Well, you know, he's more of like a fungus monster,

but he seems to like it when we call him a god, right? Yo.

We pretty much stay away from him.

He's got, you know, like, big teeth,

bad temper, all that junk.

Yeah. The journey should take you about...

nnnnnnnn... six weeks.

Six weeks?!

There must be a faster way.

[sighs]

[gasps]

[grunting]

Hyah!

Whoo-hoo!

Queen of the world!

[exertion grunt]

[disappointed groan]

Whoops.

Slight miscalculation.

Way to go, man.

You just managed to violate all three virtues at once.

[struggles]

[cries out]

[grunts]

Eh, that could have gone worse.

-[rumbling] -Whoa!

[roaring]

[Tawrisians scream]

Fungus monster!

'Sup, fungus dude? You seem mad.

[roaring]

[exertion grunt]

[angry growl]

Hey, mushroom brain! Over here!

-[growls] -[gasps]

Hm.

[Cleopatra grunting]

Hyah!

That's right, come get me!

[shrieks]

[Gled] Whoa. There is no longer a raging fungus among us.

That's pretty cool, man.

You just threw yourself in there.

When it's go time, I don't overthink things.

Or really think at all.

[laughing] That's funny. Neither do we.

Anyway, you totally flunked the initiation, right?

But you gotta give props when someone saves your chief's life.

Does this mean you'll help me rescue my friends?

Gled owes you one.

So, like, Gled guesseswe will?

Thank you! Wait.

Now, as much as I hate to overthink stuff,

I kind of feel like we need a plan.

[beeping]

[robotic voice] Invalid password.

One attempt remaining.

Well, it's not "Bad underscore Guyz" with a "z."

Come on. What would a bunch of big, dumb robots use for a password?

Wait. If the simplest solution is often the best,

and your average Xerx is dumber than a sack of bags,

maybe the password could be...

maybe...

Just spit it out!

One two three four!

The only thing simple enough for them to remember!

[beeping]

[barrier powers down]

-Yeah! -[laughter]

[alarm blares]

Halt!

Or this unit will cause physical damage.

Take that!

[grunts]

I was hoping for more of a--

Yes! [laughs]

All right. Now we just have to find Cleo,

which means getting past an entire army of Xerxes.

[exertion grunt]

Sorry we had to zap you.

Maybe you could take this opportunity

to rethink your life choices. Bye!

[Cleopatra] OK, he's a giant monster...

but he's kind of weirdly cute.

Also, he's our only hope. Brace yourself, guys.

I'm gonna give this humility thing a try.

You will totally like it, man.

Hello, Fungus God.

I come to you with humility

to offer my most humble apologies for tying you up.

I was hoping we could talk?

[inhales] In a totally calm and serene way.

[snarling]

I'm going to untie you, cautiously.

I will not make any sudden movements,

and hope this humility, serenity and caution thing

isn't a huge mistake.

[roars]

[bellowing roar]

Yah!

[low growl]

[gasps] Ohh!

[snarling]

[shrieks]

[happy panting]

Wow. He's not so bad if you treat him nicely.

You want a scratch, boy?

Do you wanna scratch?

[Cleopatra using baby-talk]

Who's a good Fungus God? Who's a good Fungus God?

Yeah, you are! [baby-talk]

[Gurp] Gled!

Gleeddd!

What is happening right now?

The tadpole has become a butterfly.

Look at him! He's not scary at all.

But you know who is scary? The Xerxes.

They've taken over the planet, and they have my friends.

I was wondering, if you're not too busy,

would you help us-- please?

[contemplative grunts]

Tawrisians, I know you've had ages

of being humble, serene, and cautious,

but for the sake of your planet and my friends,

you've got to go back to being savage warriors,

just for a little bit.

Gled is gonna level with you, man.

[clearing throat]

Gled has been waiting for an excuse to do this

for Gled's whole life!

[boisterous shouts]

[Cleopatra] Whoo-hoo!

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

[combat grunt]

[combat grunts]

[Akila] Cleo!

We escaped using Brian's sentry and not his finger!

I don't know what that means, but I'm glad.

Catch!

[cries out]

-I'm sorry, I-- -Look out!

[growls]

[cries out]

-Aah! -[shouts and cries]

Khensu, that was very close!

Thank you!

[Cleopatra] Not a compliment.

[cries out]

[Tawrisians shouting] Blood!

Blood!

[sentry] Hostile mech detected!

I know!

[Tawrisians shouting] Blood!

Aah! Whoo! Ha ha!

[Akila] There's too many!

Now!

[roars]

All right, Fungus God!

[deep roar]

[roars]

Mushroom puppy is too powerful.

All units, abandon planet!

[happy shouts]

Whoo!

[distant happy shouts]

[festive music playing]

[motors whirring]

Ha!

[hoofbeats thunder]

Good boy, Jimmy!

Turns out, yo, his name is Jimmy.

[happy panting]

[playful sounds]

Jimmy will make sure you never have trouble

with the Xerxes again.

We have our planet back,

which is super chill.

Thanks, Cleo, for showing Gled

that sometimes it's OK to fight,

like when jerks appropriate your 'hood.

And thank you for teaching me your junk too.

I am super awesome at humility.

[Gled] You're doin' it wrong!

[Cleopatra] Wait-- weren't we supposed to get a data cube or something?