Original subtitles

[whistles]

* Some say I'm just a kid *

* But I have to stand tall Like a pyramid *

* One day I'll be mythic *

* Read about it In hieroglyphics *

* Oh, oh-oh, oh, oh *

* It's written In the stars *

* I'm who I'm gonna be *

* I'm taking on the world This time *

* It's written in the stars *

* Of all that I can be *

* I feel the power In my heart *

* It's written in the stars *

[birds tweeting]

[groaning]

Prepare for pain.

Followed by doom.

Butterfly, tell Cleo I'm in danger.

You are aware that butterflies cannot speak, correct?

[laughs]

Yeah. Duh.

Go with haste, my friend.

Save your strength, butter-bug.

Oh, no. Who is this intimidatingly awesome person?

[ululates]

[gasps]

-My hero. -[blows]

Huh?

[grunts]

Oh, no.

I've forgotten to charge my quaser,

just as you never forget to do.

Take mine.

[grunts]

Have I ever told you that you're amazing?

Whoa!

[Khepra] Cleopatra.

What? Nothing. What?

No, um, I was...

stretching my lips.

You know? Like you do.

Cleopatra, you and your team have repeatedly failed

to find the Uta tablet.

There's no evidence that it even exists,

other than her so-called vision.

Therefore, we are officially ending the search for the Uta.

What? No. The Uta is real.

It's real, and we have to find it before Octavian does.

Uta. Uta. Uta.

It even sounds made up.

But I saw it.

And if we don't find it, the galaxy's doomed.

The decision of the Council is final.

I'm sorry, Cleo.

I really am.

[groans]

And then I was like, "But..."

And then she was like,

"The decision of the Council is final."

Ugh!

So you're saying...

The search for the Uta is...

[both] Over?

Yeah.

-Oh! -Sweet relief!

Now we finally have time for fun stuff.

Like homework. Oh, and chores.

And learning the bagpipes.

[bagpipe honks]

Let me get this straight. You guys are happy about this?

No, no, no, no. Not happy.

Thrilled!

Yeah. And let's be real.

This quest for the Uta has been...

what's the phrase?

Oh, yes. A flaming garbage heap.

Yes. You've been complaining about it even more than we have.

Cleo, if the Uta tablet existed, we would have found it by now.

What do you mean, if?

I saw it in a vision inside my brain place

right before I exploded.

Yeah, everything you're saying is making it sound

less like it exists.

I didn't dream the Uta.

-I didn't! -Hey, it's no biggie.

There's a 51% chance the entire universe is a dream.

Cleo, Brian and I want to stop Octavian more than anyone.

But I think we can all agree,

we're better off giving up on the Uta

and finding another way.

No, we cannot agree.

You guys are supposed to be my best friends,

and you're totally ditching me right when I need you most.

Cleo, don't get in a tizzy.

Oh, look. My ride's here.

And guess what?

It's a tizzy!

So excuse me as I get in it and go.

And I hate that these doors don't slam!

Meh, 51% chance this all blows over.

[plays discordant notes]

[grunting]

Stupid Council. Stupid Akila and Brian.

Stupid vending machine.

The Uta does exist. I know it.

[sighs]

How can they abandon the mission like this?

And how can they abandon me like this?

Oh, and why does this thing never work?

[grunting]

Hey.

What?

What... a surprise!

Zaid.

Oh, you have a lot of disagreements

with that vending machine.

It is my nemesis.

Ahem, so, what's crushing?

Uh, happening. Happening. Happening?

What's happening? Huh?

I, uh...

-I-I brought you a present. -A present?

Oh, my gosh, I love presents.

They're like free stuff you get from other people.

Yes, that-that is what presents are.

But I can't give it to you here at the Academy.

A secret present?

[squeals] Come on.

I needed an excuse to get away

-from my stupid friends anyway. -Whoa!

Okay, where's my present?

Where's my present? Where's my present?

Look, this was really hard to find.

I did a lot of research. Hunted all around the galaxy.

Called in some favors from--

Where's my present?

[gasps]

Aww.

Zaid, I love it.

What is it?

The Eye of Ra.

Cool.

What is it?

They say it's the key to finding the Uta tablet.

What?

Look, I know I've been a jerk lately.

That thing with the Scavengers,

and the other thing with the Pirates.

I thought finding the Uta would make it up to you.

You thought right. But what is this?

And where did you find it?

That's why I couldn't tell you about it before.

-I stole it from Pyramid. -What?

It was hidden in the Council tower.

Cleo, I think Khepra knows things about the Uta

she's not telling you.

That's ridiculous.

I trust Khepra.

Look on the bottom.

These are Egyptian hieroglyphics.

I thought so.

You may be the only person alive who can read them.

It says, "As North to South, as East to West,

"so is Ata to Uta.

Follow your star and the Eye will open the way."

As East to West.

Wait. Zaid, don't you get it?

Very much no.

The Uta is the Ata's opposite.

I have Brian's search app here.

This whole time we've been looking for something

like the Ata tablet, but it's the opposite.

So if I reverse its energy signature...

-[beeping] -There!

That must be where the Uta is.

So you probably want to go tell Akila and Brian

the good news, huh?

No. They gave up on the search, and on me.

I don't need them.

But maybe you'd want to come?

I thought you'd never ask.

[Cleo] Whoo!

Okay, well, it's a star.

A star with no planets.

There's nothing else around here.

So I'm wrong. Again.

Maybe the Uta doesn't exist.

Maybe everyone was right to give up on me.

Cleo...

Wait a second.

"Follow your star,

and the Eye will open the way."

Cleo. Cleo, what are you--?

Whoa!

[shudders]

Is this heaven?

We're inside the star.

The greatest hiding place ever.

And look.

What the what?

This place looks just like ancient Egypt.

Zaid, look. There's the Sphinx.

And the Great Pyramid.

And there are some other pyramids that are just, meh.

Whoa.

We've got company.

Set your quaser to "wet towel snap,"

and be ready for anything.

I was not ready for that.

I said be ready for anything. Hm?

It's exactly like my dad's palace.

The statues, the fountains...

[insects buzzing]

...the bugs.

Hello!

[laughs]

Oh, my sweet Ra, it is you!

Cleopatra in the flesh,

with the hair and the clothes and the--

Oh, it's so you!

What? How did you know I--?

And this magnificent creature.

Oh, he must be your servant.

With the strong back and the good looks and--

-[Zaid grunts] -I like him.

Oh, no, no, no. He's my...

[laughs nervously]

...my friend who's-- who is also a boy person.

[clears throat]

[laughs] Ah, you got a whole

"will they, won't they" thing going on.

How fun. I love it.

Meow.

But, oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners?

Oh, I can't do it!

I have awaited your arrival for a thousand years.

-[coughs] -Ah!

-You're a thousand years old? -I know, can you believe it?

Between you and me, I've had some work done.

Just a smidge. Tiny nip, tiny tuck,

shot of everlasting life.

-It's fantastic. -What is this place?

Why does it look like ancient Egypt?

Is this date a medjool or a barakawi, hm?

I-I-I'll answer all of your questions at dinner.

But first, you'll want to freshen up.

Oh, we really don't have time for that.

We're here to find the Uta tablet.

We'll get to the Uta, I promise.

But not without some pampering and a nice meal first.

Put a little meat on those bones, hm?

Servants, get our guests a makeover!

I feel pretty.

You look ah-maz-ing.

Oh, my hands are so soft I can't feel them.

Yeah? Prove it.

[gasps]

[stomach gurgling]

We should probably go to dinner.

Uh, yeah.

Food eat time.

Welcome, welcome.

You're both looking so fresh.

Oh, you can never be too cautious with skin care.

Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate.

Oh, my gosh, this looks amazing.

Right? Try the honey cakes. They are to die for.

Mm, I haven't had real Egyptian food in forever.

Zaid, have you ever tried foie gras?

It's been illegal for hundreds of centuries.

Do you know what it is?

Mm. Don't tell me.

You'll ruin it.

So, Medjed,

exact copy of ancient Egypt inside a star.

-Explain. -Oh, with pleasure.

Story time.

Ahem, okay. Spotlight?

Can I get a spotlight?

We begin long before you were born, Cleopatra.

Almost 40,000 years ago.

My ancestors lived in ancient Egypt.

One day, the god Ra appeared.

He transported my ancestors here to Dargham

and ordered us to protect the Uta tablet

and await the arrival of the Chosen One.

[Zaid] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

The god Ra?

You mean to say the ancient gods are real?

Like, "real" real?

Yes. They're beings of great power

who exist outside time and space.

Also, total jerks.

I mean, Ra just grabbed my people

and stuck them here without even asking.

Rude!

Classic ancient gods move. So pushy.

Ra did give us the gift of long life,

but still, come on.

How 'bout a little notice?

Anyway, my great-great-great- great-great-great-

great-great-great-grandfather was the first steward.

Each steward has ruled for a thousand years,

hoping for the Chosen One to come.

And here you are at last.

Oh, I can't even tell you what a relief it is.

We were all starting to go a little...

[laugh]

..insane.

How do you know I'm the Chosen One?

I accept your argument.

And now that you are here,

you too, will be given the gift of long life,

and you will lead us here,

in paradise, for all eternity.

Hm.

[both giggling]

Cleopatra, honey? You okay?

-[fingers snap] -Ah!

You kind of went all fwoobly there for a sec.

Nothing. Wait, huh? What? No, I was--

I was just stretching my lips.

Totally normal thing to do.

Hey, hey, hey, judgment-free zone.

You do you.

I mean, you're the Pharaoh, after all,

Pharaoh Cleopatra.

Pharaoh Cleopatra?

That sounds so weird when you say it out loud.

Pharaoh Cleopatra.

Pharaoh Cleopatra.

Pharaoh...

nope, super weird.

How about it, Zaid?

You? Me? Eternity in paradise? Thoughts?

I don't know.

I mean, maybe we should stay.

See if this thing between us is a thing?

Yeah.

But no.

My friends may have given up on me,

but I can't give up on them.

Without the Uta tablet, they'll never defeat Octavian.

So please, Medjed, take me to the Uta.

Yes, yes, of course, of course.

But here in Dargham,

it is traditional to follow dinner

with the cuddling of the kittens.

I don't have time for--

Did you say kitty cuddles?

-[kittens mewling] -Ah!

Widdle-biddle-coozy-woozy kitties!

Don't forget, Medjed.

After kitty cuddle time it's Uta-going-to time.

Yes, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course.

But tonight the Uta is...

being cleaned.

We can see it first thing in the morning.

In the morning, then.

It's a plan.

Until then, enjoy your kittens.

Especially this one with the little scooshy face.

Oh, yes. Enjoy them.

[laughs]

What? Kittens are funny.

[cackles]

Oh, kittens!

Oh, my hands are still so soft.

I really got to start exfoliating.

Medjed said we could see the Uta first thing in the morning.

-Where is he? -[door opens]

Medjed sends his apologies. He is not feeling well.

He recommends you enjoy Dargham for the day,

and you can see the Uta tomorrow.

We will. Thank you.

If by "enjoy Dargham" you mean "find the Uta ourselves."

How are we going to find the Uta ourselves?

Well, where did you find the Ata?

Zaid, you're a genius.

I know it, snakehead.

Don't let it go to your hair.

[Cleo grunting]

All right, be careful.

[gasps]

Whoa.

Uh-huh! Oh, yeah!

* I f-f-found it *

* I f-f-found it Hey, hey, whoop-whoop *

[gasps] Zaid, no!

-What? -Oh.

I was going say it might send you into the future.

But apparently it won't do diddly.

Come on, let's make like a mummy and wrap this up.

Leaving so soon, Cleopatra?

I'm afraid I simply cannot let that happen.

You are the Chosen One.

Therefore, you must stay and rule Dargham...

forever.

You can't force me to rule.

If I don't get the Uta tablet home,

Octavian will take over the whole Nile Galaxy.

I so don't care!

I have been ruling Dargham for a thousand years.

A thousand years!

I am so over it.

The first 20 years were really great,

but now every morning I want to throw up

and burn everything to the ground.

It's all made of stone, so it won't even burn.

You can't do the same thing for a thousand years, you guys.

It makes you insane.

Insane.

I can see that.

I was hoping if you just spent some time here,

saw how perfect Dargham is, you'd choose to stay.

But now we have to do this the hard way.

Oh, also, everyone? Everyone?

Seize them!

Hyah!

My quaser's out of juice.

Take mine.

[groans]

Wow. That went way better in my fantasy.

[grunts]

[Medjed] This is for your own good. You'll be safe here.

What about other people's good, huh?

What about my friends?

And the galaxy?

But you'll be the pharaoh.

It's everything you ever dreamed of.

[both grunt]

Being forced to live a dream

is no dream at all.

[both scream]

Look away! Just look away!

I can't!

Oh, it's too gross.

Ah! The gift of long life didn't come with youth.

I told you the gods were jerks.

They probably think this is funny.

Get my face back on, you buffoons!

-[servant] Yes, master. -[Medjed] Come...

Don't step on that!

Look alive, Zaid! We running!

[gasps]

You missed an eyebrow! No!

[both panting]

Come back here!

I want to retire!

I have a time share near the Sphinx!

[sobbing] Come back!

Cleopatra!

Oh, come on, come on.

Cleo's been missing for almost two days.

-[radar pinging] -Wait, I'm picking up a signal.

It's coming...

from...

right...

Here.

[Akila screams]

How could you run off and not leave a note?

Don't ever do that again.

It was my fault.

Oh. I should have known you were with Zaid.

I want all the gossip, yesterday.

Sure. But first...

lookee what I got.

-Is that...? -It is.

-[squeals] -[gasps]

The Uta tablet? That's amazing!

It's even more Uta-y than I imagined.

We have to take it to the Council.

[Zaid] I don't think that's a good idea.

Cleo, I found the Eye of Ra in the Council tower, remember?

I don't think you can trust them.

Oh, so you're saying someone we trust may be a spy?

Is that what you're saying, Zaid?

Okay, okay.

Listen, I trust Khepra,

but Zaid's got a point.

You guys keep the Uta here at the Academy where it's safe,

while Zaid and I go inform the Council.

[Khepra] Cleopatra, this is astonishing.

You actually found the Uta.

What do we say, Misti, Kek?

-Sorry. -Sorry.

We are in your debt.

And yours too, Zaid.

Should you so choose,

you are welcome to rejoin the Academy.

-Yeah. -All right!

Khepra, you my girl.

I mean, thank you, Administrant.

[laughs nervously]

So do you wanna--wow, your hands are still ridiculously soft.

-Right? -Well?

-[Khepra clears throat] -[gasps]

Ahem, wait.

Is this reality?

-You got that right. -Apparently.

It is indeed.

Meh.

Ew. Gross.

We have the Uta tablet.

There's no more reason to wait.

[Octavian] Excellent work, Administrant.

I'm on my way to visit you.

And I'm bringing plenty of friends.

[laughs]

That's not it. Hold on.

What's the friends laugh?

[chortles]

There it is.

[evil laughter]