Original subtitles

[whistles]

* Some say I'm just a kid *

* But I stand tall Like a pyramid *

* One day I'll be mythic *

* Read about it In hieroglyphics *

* Ah-ee-ah-ah-oh *

* It's written in the stars, I'm who I'm gonna be *

* I'm takin' on the world This time *

* It's written in the stars, I'm all that I can be *

* I feel the power In my heart *

* It's written in the stars *

Cleo, this is an emergency!

I have nothing to wear for my date with Brian tonight!

Literally nothing! [whines]

[grunts]

Ugh, I'm just gonna have to improvise.

[grunting]

Ugh!

But it's only Brian. You're already friends!

We're not friends now, Cleo! We're dating!

Do you date your friends?!

Uh...

Maybe...

[laughs] I did it! I'm a fashion icon!

Perfect, right?

[chitters]

Well, considering it's a first date,

maybe go slightly more casual.

Casual! Of course! Like, uh... this?

( flies buzzing )

Blech!

I think it's great!

-I knew it! -For target practice.

[laughs]

[screams]

[screaming]

[both screaming]

-[gun clicking] -[panting]

You won't hurt anyone

ever again.

Now, what on Mayet is going on?

This "Akila going on a date with Brian" thing is a mess.

And she hasn't even gone on the date yet!

Ah. See, this is why I maintain a strict policy

of never getting involved in my friends' love lives.

[Brian grunts] Hey, guys!

Ooh, whoa!

This might come as a surprise, but... [grunts]

[whispers] I've never been on a date before.

-What?! No! -You don't say!

[grunts]

[Brian] Ah! Hi!

-Akila! -Hmm? Hmm...

Oh! Ah, ah! Ah, Brian!

Hi! Hi. Uh...

[both stammering]

[nervous laughter]

You can never erase that image from your memory.

And that's why I say: stay out of it.

Uh...

[nervous laughter]

[film music playing]

[slurps]

[whispers] Do you ever wonder why we have a planetarium

when we go to actual space all the time?

It's not for making out!

-What? -Shh!

[both munching]

[sighs]

[electricity crackling]

[both] Huh? Ah!

-Hands touching! -[screams]

[audience groaning]

Oh, ah! Uh, sorry! Excuse me!

Cleo! This isn't working!

I need to break up with Brian!

"Break up"?

Do you really need to break up

if you're only halfway through your first date?

Ugh! I wish I'd broken up beforeour first date!

I'd love to help, but I don't want to get in the middle of this.

[beeping]

Oh, one sec. I'm putting you on hold.

Cleo. I need you to get in the middle of this.

[sighs] Uh... I can't get involved, Brian.

I'm hanging up now.

[beeps]

[sighs] Thank goodness that's over.

Cleo? Are you there? I need you to tell me how to break up with Brian!

Wait. "Break up" with me? But we're not even together!

Oh, no. I merged the calls.

Not "together"? We're on a date. Together.

-How is that not together? -[Cleopatra grunts]

It's just, I like you, Akila,

but I don't know if Ilikelike you.

That's why I asked you out!

-[Cleopatra screams] -You don't know if you like me?!

Well, guess what: I don't like you!

Fine, then I don't like you either!

You can't say it 'cause I already said it!

You and your likes!

-[both talking over each other] -[groans]

Oh, oh, oh! And the 125th most annoying thing about Brian is how he--

-[chitters] -[gasps]

And the other mildly insensitive remark

Akila once made about cyborgs was the fact that they--

Ahh... [spits] Ugh. Why do I keep getting soup?!

[grunts]

[sighs]

Brian, can we just have fun? How about a game?

[mooing]

See? This is fun. Right?

Uh, Cleo, tell Brian I'll trade two intergalactic cowbots for four nebula bucks.

Four?!

Cleo, tell Akila I will settle for nothing less thantenintergalactic cowbots

and an apology for ruining our first and only date!

Guys! For the last time, can you please leave me out of your...

drama...

[sighs]

[romantic music playing]

[exhales]

[sighs]

[grunts] Ugh! Again?!

Seriously, what is with all the soup around here?

-[Zaid] Hey, Cleo! -[gasps]

-[gasps] -[moos]

[nervous laughter]

Zaid! How did you sneak in here?

Sneak in? I got a guest pass from the office.

Just because I got expelled doesn't mean I can't visit.

-Totally knew that. -So, listen.

I'm here because I intercepted a transmission.

The Uta tablet's been found.

What?! This is huge! Where is it?

It's heading for the Space Scavengers

on a small, unarmed shipping vessel.

If you move fast, you can catch it.

What? This seems too good to be true.

It could be, but it's worth checking out, right?

Right! And to be honest, it's our strongest lead yet!

Brian and Akila will be so exci...

Four nebula bucks. Did I stutter?

-[Brian] Ten. I can count. -[Akila] It's not worth ten!

-[both continue arguing] -...extremely annoying to be around!

Any chanceyouwanna be my mission buddy?

Thanks for asking, but, uh, no.

I just can't risk doing anything that will get me back on Octavian's radar.

I'm sorry.

See you later, Cleopatra!

-[sighs] -[Brian] I'm a cyborg, that's what I do!

[Akila] I'm not arguing, you're the one who's arguing!

Hey, I have a mission for us.

Not now, Akila and I are busy being mad at each other!

-[clears throat] -Do you mind giving us a little space?

Seriously?!

[both growling]

First they won't leave me alone, now they want "space."

I'm the one who needs space! And I'll get it. In space!

I'll just snag the Uta tablet

and save the galaxy all by myself!

Booyah!

That's it, Mihos! The ship with the Uta.

-[impact] -[grunts]

What? We're caught in an attractor beam?!

Where's it coming from?

[beeping]

It's the Space Scavengers! This whole thing was a trap!

You don't think... Zaid knew, right?

N-no, I'm sure he didn't. They must have tricked him.

Right? Right.

-[nervous laughter] -[chitters, sighs]

-Well, well... looks like I tricked that pretty boy -Hey!

into sending you right into my trap, Cleopatra.

You should have known better than to come here all alone.

-[gasps] -[chitters]

[romantic music playing]

[Dave] Um, Precious? You're standing on my Lazy Susan.

[chuckles]

I use it for cake decorating.

The mighty Dave has many hobbies!

Now get back here, Precious.

[chitters]

So here's what's gonna happen.

Dave is gonna hand you over to Octavian for a big ol' reward.

See, Dave's got a plan to retire early and go live on a space cruise ship

where Dave can eat all-Dave-can-eat seafood buffets

for the rest of Dave's life. [laughs]

Do you know why Octavian wants me?

I'm his key to ultimate power.

Give me to him and he'll conquer the galaxy.

And youknowhe's so evil, he'll get rid of cruise ships

-and all-Dave-can-eat seafood buffets. -[gasps]

Whaddaya think of that?

I admit, I hadn't considered it.

Oh, in that case,

I'll just keep you on board as my prisoner.

Eh, at least I'll get a break from Brian and Akila's bickering.

Well, did I mention that you'll also have to be our scullery maid?

[sighs] I can survive.

[groans]

And you'll have to wear... this.

[laughs]

Ugh, no!

Wait, what are the shoes like?

Clunky!

No!

Eww. Aah! [grunting]

Whoa!

[groans]

[chittering]

[gags]

[grunting]

-[growls] -[screams]

Ugh.

Eww.

Not the bathroom!

[gags]

Huh?

Wow.

This bathroom's not as gross as I thought it'd be.

[chittering]

[fart sounds]

[birds squawking]

[air conditioning blowing]

Ugh!

[cans rattling]

Hmm. Someone's in a mood.

[grunts] Well, I spent all day cleaning up goo, so what do you expect?

[sighs] Also, may I just say,

this Precious and Mihos thing...

It's weird, right?

Oh, my gosh! So weird! Thank you!

Why do all my friends have crazy love lives?

See, that's exactly why I don't have any friends.

Only goons, minions, and stooges. Cake?

You know, Cleo... have you ever considered a career in Scavenging? Hmm?

It was definitely my first choice and not a desperate fallback

after I got kicked out of the Pirates.

Which I didn't get!

I guess I'd never thought about it.

As a Scavenger, you'd have complete freedom!

You could live your life on your own terms.

[laughs] Yes.

Sure, what we do is illegal.

Sure, you gotta share one stinky hammock

with five unbathed aliens.

Sure, our ship is infested with Centaurian Hyper-Lice.

But you're free from all that pathetic stuff like "friendship"

and... [gags] "feelings."

Yeah, sure, you eat rotten chundridge for every meal, but--

but after a while your taste buds die,

so it doesn't matter. [laughs]

-[chittering] -Huh?

Uh...

[chittering]

[cans rattling]

[grunts]

Ugh.

I gotta find a way outta here before I become "a Dave."

[groans]

[chitters]

[gasps]

A garbage drone.

That's it!

[both grunt]

[both] What are you doing here?

[both grunt]

I came to see Cleo.

So did I. Also I live here.

[both grunt]

Huh? Cleo's not here?

Uh, but it's time for her daily second nap!

I'll call her.

Hello, this is Jane-2000E.

What? It's that Scavenger robot!

-Why do you have Cleo's tab? -[grunts]

Because we have captured and enslaved her.

Don't tell them that!

I am not programmed to lie. Or to love. Sob. Sob.

[both gasp]

Hey! I'm looking for Cleo.

Cleo's been captured by Scavengers!

What?! Oh, no, the lead I gave her,

it must have been a trap!

Oh, this is all my fault.

Aw, it's not your fault, Zaid.

It's Akila's fault!

No, it's Brian's fault!

[both growling]

Guys. We gotta go help Cleo.

Can you guys call a temporary truce?

Fine.

Only temporary.

-[chittering] -Huh?

I'm sorry I had to drag you away from your precious Precious.

But trust me, it's for the best.

[chittering]

[Cleopatra] Whoa!

Ah! Ugh! Blech!

-[gags] -[chitters]

Just gotta hack this drone's navigation system.

[beeps]

-[beeping] -[gasps]

Changing destination from the Recycling Planet to Mayet,

and...

we're golden! [chuckles]

-[gasps] -[beeping]

Wait. Is that an Academy ship?

It's Akila and Brian!

They must have come to rescue me.

I wonder what their plan is.

[clears throat] Uh, greetings, dear Scavengers!

I am just an everyday person, requesting permission to board!

State your business.

-Exterminators. -Caterers. What?

We're exterminator caterers.

First we exterminate the bugs, then we cook 'em.

Oh yeah. Yeah, I heard of that.

Very hip. Permission granted.

They can't think those mustaches are gonna work... right?

I so thought the mustaches would work.

[laughs] I gotta say I expected more from Academy Cadets than this.

We might have come up with a better plan

if these two could get along for more than three seconds.

Hey, Brian broke the truce first!

That truce was verbal and therefore non-binding!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. Yeesh.

That bickering is embarrassing, even by Scavenger standards.

[grunts]

Ugh!

[beeps]

Here. You're gonna be scullery maids. [chuckles]

Put these on.

I amnotwearing that.

Eh, I could make it work.

Aah! [grunts]

No! We willnot serve you, Dave!

Oh-ho-ho-ho! Wow. You know, I admire your integrity.

-Prison it is. Take them away! -[chitters]

-Hey! -Hey!

[all grunting]

[all groan]

[laughing]

Nice work, Akila.

We could have been happy little scullery maids, butno.

You are the one who didn't even want to wear that--

Yo! Stop!

Just... stop.

You guys realize you've been arguing about nothing this entire time, right?

Nothing?! What are you talking about nothing--

-[grunts] -Huh? [gasps] Cleo!

What's your plan? Please say it doesn't entail mustaches.

Don't worry, I'm on it.

By which I mean Mihos is on it.

[chitters]

[snoring]

[chitters]

[fart sounds]

[romantic music playing]

[chittering]

Well, this feels like as good a time as any to talk about our feelings. Right?

Or we could keep sitting in awkward silence. That was working for me.

Um, Brian and Akila, I-I'm sorry I left

instead of helping you work out your differences.

That's not what good friends do.

[both] I forgive you.

-Hey, I forgave her first! -Hey! Intellectual theft!

And that! That right there!

That's not what good friends do, either!

Come on. I bet you guys don't even remember why you're mad at each other!

Uh, yeah...

[both] No.

See?

Now, I don't need you two to be best friends,

but I do need you to be my friends.

Which means you need to be friendly. Deal?

Fine, OK.

-Deal. -Thank goodness.

'Cause we're gonna need to work together to get back to our ships.

-Now, where's Mihos? -[chittering]

Whaddaya know. Love saves the day.

[gasps]

[chittering]

-[beeps] -Ugh, it's locked!

We need Dave's comprehensive verified authentication.

[Dave clears throat]

Did someone say "Dave,"

followed by a bunch of long words?

Lesson Number One:

Never underestimate Dave.

And, eh... that's it. There's only one lesson.

I'm not running a school here, people!

Actually, Dave, the real lesson is...

true friends don't give up on each other when the going gets tough.

And in the spirit of true friendship...

-I volunteer to stay here and be your scullery maid forever, -[gasps]

if you promise to let my friends go free.

Yeah, hey, whatever.

No, Cleo. I'll do it.

I already said Cleo could do it.

No, no, no, I'll be the true friend.

No, you guys go ahead and be free.

I'm the one who fell for Dave's trick and got us into this.

Why are you arguing about this?

Man. Friendships are complicated.

[all arguing]

[chittering]

[gasps]

[chittering]

Precious?

MyPrecious?

-[chittering] -[fart sounds]

[chittering]

You're with them? How could you betray me?

[fart sounds]

Oh-ho-ho! Oh, so you'll stay with me if I let them go free? Hmm?

[drawn out fart sound]

Fine. You all may go.

[beeping]

Just give me back my beloved Precious.

[chittering]

[chittering]

[chittering]

Yeah, so, uh, I guess I'm just not ready to date Brian.

Hey, you don't have to rush it!

It's better to be just friends than not friends at all.

That sounds wise.

I know, right? [chuckles]

What do you think the boys are talking about right now?

Ah, they're probably all like,

[guy voice] "Yo. Bro. Dude stuff and things, man."

[both laughing]

Wow, Zaid. Thank you for listening.

I'm here for you, man. Dating is hard.

-Especially when you're already friends. -Yeah.

That's what I think Akila and I should be, you know?

Just friends.

At least for now.

Um, so...

Um, have you ever dated a friend?

Well, uh... I'm thinkin' about it.

[chitters]

[theme music playing]