Original subtitles

[whistles]

* Some say I'm just a kid *

* But I stand tall Like a pyramid *

* One day, I'll be mythic *

* Read about it In hieroglyphics *

* Ohh ohh ohh ohh *

* It's written in the stars *

* I know I'm gonna be *

* I'm taking on the world *

* It's time *

* It's written in the stars *

* All, all that I can be *

* I feel the power In my heart *

* It's written in the stars *

[Cleo] Space.

Spaaaaaace.

The galaxy is full of it.

Anyway, Captain's Log or whatever.

We're near the end of a week-long mission

searching for the Uta tablet and we're getting on

each other's nerves just a little.

Okay, so I know we've searched fourteen planets,

but we'll find it on the next one for sure!

[Brian] Can it, Akila!

[Khensu] We will never find it!

We'll keep searching forever

in an eternity of torment!

[nervous chuckle] As long as we're together!

Gooooooo team!

Hoo-hoo!

[Cleo sighs] Akila has gone

about a million light years past perky...

Everything's a-okay!

Life is a parade of delights!

[laughs]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Give it a rest!

Brian won't shut up about Mistress Punchfire...

Omigosh!

Mistress Punchfire's arch-nemesis

is actually her childhood friend Bobo!

Mind blown, man! Mind blown!

No one cares! If you had an off switch, I would hit it!

[Brian embarrassed chuckle]

Khensu is obsessed with some weird alien soap opera...

Pangutelar [on computer]: Neem nappa tong tong! Hooba tong tong!

Ooh habbla pebbe... ping ping!

Noopar tongtong robba!

Geppa grom boblits!

Boblits robba robba! [gasps]

Noopar robba tongtong, leem nappa tong tong!

Nog nappa tong tong!

Would you please turn that stupid show off?!

What are they even saying?!

It's not about the words, it's about the feelings!

Also it's about the slapping, for some reason.

Man, you spend 24 hours a day with people,

you start to learn some weird stuff.

I'm not weird. You're weird!

[Gagtarnu] Nognar noppa tongtong!

Anyway, it turns out I'm the only one here

who isn't super irritating.

[sighs] Cleo out.

[sensor beeps]

Aw, yeah.

Bam-ba-da-bum! Practice time!

[Akila, Brian & Khensu] Noooo!

[Cleo] Yee-haw!

[sparring efforts]

-[Akila] Watch out! -[Brian] Cut it out!

-[alert chime sounds]

-[all heavy panting] -Huh?

[female electronic voice] Approaching planet Denebola-6.

Please disengage autopilot for landing.

[laughs] The Uta tablet's going to be here for sure!

-[Cleo] Not a chance! -[Khensu] No one thinks that!

[Brian] You are the Queen of Lies!

[Brian] Huh. Scans show

Denebola-6 is uninhabited...

but sometimes there's a spike in the readings,

like there might be one lifeform, but kind of...

uh, diffused?

So help me, Brian, if I get one more word

of science gibberish from you, I am gonna go berserk.

-[Brian grunts] -Ugh. Everyone strap in!

Oh-ho-ho no, she's gonna blow.

-I'm landing angry! -[powering up]

[all screaming]

[gasps] Isn't it beautiful?!

[laughs] Omigosh, I love nature so much!

-[laughs] -Scale it back, twinkletoes.

It's fine. Kind of rocky, but fine.

Okay, Let me just put the ship in camouflage mode...

Ugh, that never works.

Wait a second...

[sensor chirping]

No, no, not that one.

Ugh! Give it up!

It just does plaid!

No, it does various plaids!

[chirping]

-[Brian] No... -[Akila] That's not better!

-Yes, it-- -[Pangutelar] Leem nappa tong tong!

Nog nog nappa tong tong!

Will you stop watching that show?!

But Gagtarnu is about to confess

his love for Pangutelar!

-[Cleo sighs] -Or his hatred.

I'm not sure, but it's very emotional...

You are all... so... annoying!

Y'know what? Let's split up and search for the Uta.

I think we all need a break from each other!

Um, is that really safe?

I don't know, but we're driving each other crazy!

We all need some alone time.

Cleo, Protocol clearly indicates--

Protocol can eat my socks.

As of this moment, we are not a team!

Cleo out!

Gooooo, ex-team!

Unbelievable. How does she keep it up? I just can't...

I've had enough of this, I don't care what protocol says...

[excited then deflated] Yayyyyy...

[sighs]

[gasps]

[gasps]

You're... You're...

[excited squeal]

You're...

You're Granda Ybarra!

Who are you?

Omigosh, who cares?!

You're Granda Ybarra! History's greatest genius!

But...but you vanished thousands of years ago!

Indeed I did vanish...

into the future!

[gasps]

I invented time travel,

but I got stranded on this planet.

I've been here for years, trying to recreate my device.

Omigosh, omigosh, you are my hero!

You know my work?

Do I know your work?

Your book on n-dimensional toroidal hypercube vertices

got me through some rough times when I was a kid.

Then you can help me with my research.

I've discovered an orthogonal time dimension!

Orthogonal time?!

Mind blown, man!

Mind blown!

We're never going to find that ridiculous tablet.

We might as well...

[gasps]

[yelps]

-What... -[door opens]

Lavitza?

Lavitza!

Khensu!

[slo-mo] Lavitsa!

[slo-mo] Khensu!

[romantic theme playing]

I thought I'd never see you again!

How could you leave me?!

What? You left me!

I...I know that!

But...you should have come after me!

[sighs] When you left,

I swore never to love again.

And I never stopped loving you, Khensu.

[purring]

Uta tablet!

Uuuuuuuuta tablet!

Where you at?

Ugh...

[gasps]

[**]

[Akila] It's, it's, it's ...

Squeeeeeeeee!

The valley of the barbecunicorns!

[laughs]

Hello, friend!

Would you like to ride us and then eat barbecue?

[gasps] It's all I've ever wanted

for all of my whole life forever!

[gleeful scream]

[Cleo muttering] Everything is fine, everything doesn't

look fine to me, I'll show her what's fine...

Worst mission ever...

[grunts in disgust]

Worst friends ever...

[grunts] Worst rocks ever!

What. The. Heck.

Cleo!

[gasps] Dad?!

Dad! Mmm!

I thought I'd never see you again!

[chitters]

[sniffs]

[growls]

[Gozi] Cleo! You're here!

Gozi!

How did you guys get here?

After you disappeared, I took your dad

to see that... that tablet.

As soon as I touched it, we were sent here...

wherever "here" is.

It's a planet called Denebola-6.

Thirty thousand years into the future.

Huh.

Well, whaddaya know?

So... no follow up questions?

-[Mihos squeaks] -Um...

What've you been up to?

Well, this is my new friend Mihos, and...

I've kinda been in school?

[growling]

[Lavitza purring]

I can't wait for you to meet my friends.

-Cleo will-- -Cleo?!

Who is this Cleo?!

How dare you betray me!

-[deep inhale] -No, no, no, no, no!

No, this kind of melodrama is better

in a soap opera than in reality.

Oh, are you tired of melodrama?

Maybe you'd prefer...

intrigue?

What's going on now?

I've found clues

to the location of the Uta tablet...

-How do you know about the--? -...in the form of math puzzles!

[gasps]

I love math puzzles!

Well, here's a bunch of 'em!

[gasps]

Puzzles ahoy!

[Granda] You see, the orthogonal time dimension

allows us to step across time,

but each iteration

has an independent history and future.

[excited laugh]

[sighs]

What's the matter?

It's just...

This is fascinating,

but I'm supposed to be helping

my friends find the Uta tablet.

-No! Don't go! -What? I, uh...

You-you can't go! Because I'm not just Granda Ybarra.

I'm also...

[Brian yelps, gasps]

...Mistress Punchfire!

[gasps]

I knew you were real!

Come, Brian!

Let us find the Uta tablet!

But to do that, you must become my trusty sidekick...

Duke Smashburns!

But...how can I be..?

Omigosh, I'm Duke Smashburns!

[excited laugh] It's a dream come true!

[both] Punch...away!

[mouth full] I read stories

about the Valley of the Barbecunicorns

when I was a kid.

How can this be a real place?

The nice lady who wrote the books

visited us and wanted to tell our stories.

But we made her promise to keep us a secret

because we're so, so, so shy.

[giggles] More barbecue?

Oh, no, no, no. I couldn't eat another bite.

Ohh...

Do you want to go for another ride, k?

Ugh, no.

I am seriously bloated right now.

Listen, I really need to get back to my friends.

No! Uh, you, uh, um...

You can't leave, because um, um, um...

you have to help me protect us from, uh, the Pegasquids?

Yeah, okay, the Pegasquids. Uh, why not?

Save us!

[thunder crashing]

[squawking and neighing]

[Purple Barbecunicorn] Yeah, uh, Pegasquids are scary!

But how am I gonna fight..?

-[thunder crashes] -[gasps]

Oh.

Seems legit.

[pulling effort]

[battle cry]

[Cleo] ...we went to a planet and didn't find the Uta,

and then yesterday we went to two planets

and didn't find the Uta, and then today we came here,

and then I found you and then I told you

everything I've done every single day

for the last several months and then it was now.

[growling]

Oh! Y'know, and then I trained

a donkey to fire a quaser with its teeth

and now donkeys rule the galaxy.

[sighs] You guys!

-Yes! What! -Hello there!

What's going on?

Dad, you always listen to me,

no matter how much I babble!

And Gozi...

actually, you do usually stare at me

and zone out like you were just doing.

Waaait, am I in love with her?

[whispers] Based on what she's said, yes,

but I don't think she knows it.

Why are you guys acting so weird?!

[nervous laughter]

Aw, man!

You're holograms, or Dittobots,

or some other kinda weird sciencey things!

[sighs] See, this is what I hate about the future!

There's always some guy who's really some other guy!

And I shoulda known this wasn't real.

I mean, how is the whole palace here?

What, did you guys bring it with you?

Did you build it yourselves?

[grunts] Ugh! Come on, universe!

I want to believe in this!

If you can't make it real,

then can you at least make it more plausible?!

[sighs]

Cleopatra, it was fun being your father for a while.

But now...this.

[gasps]

[maniacal cackling]

Thank you, universe.

I'm here for the Uta tablet, too.

So if you want it, you'll have to go through us.

Sounds great to me!

Hee-ya!

Uh...

Ooh! Oh.

Huh. That seemed too easy.

And why would--?

Cleo!

We found the Uta tablet!

But it's protected by, um...

Pegasquids!

Yeah, Pegasquids!

Sure! Why not?

But Octavian, he...

[Akila] Oh, forget about him! We've gotta go!

[Pegasquids roaring]

[Cleo laughing] Come to Cleo!

-[Pegasquids neighing] -[Akila grunting]

Where did you get these flaming swords, anyway?

Uh, flaming sword store?

Wait, there are stores here?

[struggle efforts]

You wanna ask questions or you wanna do hero stuff?

Hero stuff!

[Akila laughs]

-[roars] -[Cleo] Whoo!

I got it!

That...

That should have been harder.

[panting]

-[Brian] Yes! -[Akila] Yes! Whoo-hoo!

We did it! We did it!

Wait...

I...I wanted my father...

I wanted to defeat Octavian...

I-I wanted the Uta tablet.

It's like something is making all my dreams come true.

[Akila's voice] Yeah, it is weirdly like that.

-[Cleo gasps] -But isn't it great?

-Everyone loves... -[snarls]

[Akila's voice] Oh, man! Did I get the characters mixed up?

Uh, what does the cat one sound like?

[Brian's voice] Is it--? No, that's not it.

[Purple Barbecunicorn's voice] This one? Huh?

No. Darn it! What is going on here?!

Whoa! Ah!

[Ptolemy's voice] Sorry, I'm not used to running

this many characters at once.

It's so confusing.

I gotta go...

[in unison] You can't leave!

I won't let you!

[screams]

[whimpers; yelps]

What is going on here?!

[Cleo screams]

Yah! Yah!

Ha! Whoo!

Hot enough for ya?

[panting] Feel the burn!

[grunts]

Unh. You're fired!

Hot enough for...

Oh wait, did you use that one already?

[Cleo] Brian! That's not really Mistress Punchfire!

Obviously!

But can't I just keep pretending a little longer?

[Cleo] We have to go!

-Stay with me! -[Brian groans]

Please!

[in alternate voices] Stay with us!

Oh. [nervous chuckle]

Do 546 and 923 have a common factor?

Thirteen.

You are so smart, I can't stand it.

[Cleo] Khensu! Khensu!

Cleo! I'd like you to meet Lavitza.

Waah!

She's not... whoever you think she is!

She's some kinda rock monster! Huh?

You're not going anywhere!

[both panting]

[Akila savage battle yells]

Huh?

[yells continue]

[excited laughter]

[neighs]

[grunts]

Wow, you are just...

so way into this.

You might want to settle down a bit there.

All who oppose the barbecunicorns will pay!

[grunts and yells]

[winded] Akila...

those...

Wait, again with the Pegasquids?

It's hard to think up new things!

Akila! Stop!

None of this is real!

Who! Cares!

It's! Awesome!

[savage cackling]

[all gasp]

[in unison] You can't go!

You have to stay!

Yeah-ha-ha!

[high-pitched scream]

Brian? Brian!

[scared whimper]

[grunting] Keep away from him!

Brian!

[grunts]

-[scared whimper; groan] -Brian!

[grunts]

I missed you guys!

I'm so sorry I said you were annoying!

It's okay!

We thought you were annoying too,

we just didn't say it out loud.

What.

Gah!

Okay, what are those things?

[in unison] I will never let you leave!

They look like they're...

made out of the landscape.

The scans showed Denebola-6 was uninhabited!

Well, except for maybe one lifeform...

[grunts]

Wait.

One lifeform...

One big lifeform!

These aren't the inhabitants of Denebola-6.

They are...

Denebola-6!

[in unison] Yes?

You're...

You're all Denebola-6, aren't you?

Call me Debbie.

The whole planet is alive?

Yeah, I thought that was obvious.

I mean, you're basically standing on my face.

How did you create all those people and things?

It's pretty easy to read your minds,

so I just found stuff in there and turned into it.

I'm made of megamorphic rock,

so I can change shape as easily as you guys can.

Uh, we can't change shape.

Not at all?

Even those weird elbows?

Haha! Gross!

What's wrong with my elbows?

But why did you do all this?

I just wanted to play!

I mean, I'm so lonely.

I've been all by myself forever and ever and ever!

I tricked you into thinking

the Uta tablet was here so you would visit.

Okay fine, but what's wrong with my elbows?

If you're bored,

we can play a different game.

But you can't leave me alone!

You have to keep me company

forever and ever and ever!

We-we can't stay here, Debbie.

I won't let you go!

[voice deepening] I won't ever let you go!

I can't be alone again!

-[screeching] -[Khensu gasps]

Wait!

We don't have to leave you alone.

I have an idea...

Huh?

[up-tempo music plays]

This is so awesome!

I know, right?

[giggling]

Hi, I'm Debbie!

Um, hello?

Ahhh!

Hi, I'm Debbie!

Heh. Hi, I'm Debbie!

[laughs] This is great!

[laughs]

[sighs] I never should have had us split up.

Being together with you guys,

working as a team, so much better than

any of that fake "dream come true" stuff.

Yeah, it is.

We make a pretty good team, huh?

Yes, we do!

[all] Mmm!

So...

while I've got you here...

What's wrong with my elbows?!

Ugh. They're fine, Cleo.

Fine? The way you say that

makes me think they're not fine.

Are they too pointy? Too round?

You guys! What is wrong with my elbows?!

[both laugh]

[Cleo] Wait!

**