Original subtitles

[whistles]

* Some say I'm just a kid *

* But I stand tall Like a pyramid *

* One day I'll be mythic *

* Read about it In hieroglyphics *

* Ah-ee-ah-ah-oh *

* It's written In the stars *

* I'm who I'm gonna be *

* I'm taking on the world This time *

* It's written in the stars *

* I'm all that I can be *

* I feel the power In my heart *

* It's written in the stars *

Okay, we've got all these possible sites of the Uta Tablet

But we need to know if Octavian's looking for it too.

And is he searching based on the Ata Tablet's

energy signature like we are?

Because if he is, we might run into him,

and that would for sure harsh my mellow.

[sighs]

Want to go to the planetarium?

I totally understand if you don't.

-But if you do-- Aah! -Brian.

I'm totally in the zone over here

and you're all distracted and unfocused,

which is usually my thing. It's also super annoying.

Why has no one ever mentioned how annoying it is?

We're never not mentioning it.

I'm distracted because I'm going to ask Akila on a date.

Well, it's about time.

I'm back!

You know you don't have to say "I'm back," right?

-We can see you. -It's fun to make an entrance.

So, what's the scoop? We talking Uta?

Yes, but first Brian has a very important question.

[stammers]

Oh, no, Brian's glitching.

Should we turn him off and on again?

I'm not g-g-g-glitching.

[laughs nervously] I just...

there's a planetarium.

And it's-- Goldfish. Helipad. Watch fob.

[gasps] It's worse than I thought.

He's in free association mode.

Don't go into the light, Bri-Bri.

Bri-Bri!

Huh?

It's only hives.

Don't worry, they're not contagious.

Just itchy.

Isn't it physically impossible for a cyborg to get hives?

I added a histamine function to my artificial skin

to make me seem more human.

[grunts]

Yeah, so human right now.

Just ignore them and they'll disappear.

Just look away.

Look away!

[grunts]

Okay.

Allow me to distract everyone with my cool new poster.

[sighs]

Isn't Zedge the coolest?

He tried to kidnap Cleo.

[grunts]

And you have to be pretty cool

to come back from that.

Just look at him there.

Leaning back all cool,

and winking all cool,

and being cool all cool.

[Akila giggles]

[Akila sighs]

[laughs nervously]

Akila, I was wondering...

Ooh, uh...

[chuckles]

...would you rather have no elbows or no knees?

-[Akila] Hmm. -[Cleo groans]

No knees, because I really want to learn calligraphy one day.

Great question, Bri-Bri. Later.

[groans]

I-I choked.

Akila likes you.

She's just too Akila to notice you like her.

And you're too Brian to ask her out.

You heard her. She likes cool guys.

Let's face it, Cleo, I'm not cool.

You don't need to be cool.

Just be yourself...

only less stammer-y and hives-y.

But ask her out soon

so you can concentrate on the Uta Tablet, okay?

I can't be the most focused one in the group.

It's not natural.

[sighs]

Where are you, Uta Tablet?

[groans]

Why did I plan to ask Akila out today?

I'm always stammer-y and hives-y on weekdays.

I need a quick FishKaboom break, then back to work.

Oh, great. A pop-up ad.

[Cyrano] Hi, there.

I know what you're thinking.

"Ugh, great. A pop-up ad."

I was thinking that.

I feel you. But I'm no ordinary app.

Say hello to,

Cyrano, the Super Tool to Make You Cool.

[all screaming]

Registered trademark.

[gasps]

This is exactly what I need to win Akila over.

And I can download the program directly to my operating system.

Could this be any more perfect?

Nice one, Bri.

You've got what it takes to be cool.

You just need a little help.

So I'm going to give you instructions,

and all you have to do is follow my lead.

Preparing for maximum coolage.

Yeah. I like your enthusiasm, but maybe don't go off script.

Or do anything at all, ever, unless I say so.

Okay?

All right, B, you've got this.

[gulps]

The cafeteria is your oyster, so strut in like you mean it.

[sighs]

[groans]

I said strut.

[groans]

[yelps]

Wow, okay.

Maybe stick to walking.

Now, let's find a cool table.

[grunts and exclaims]

Can we go a smidge cooler?

Bingo, baby.

That's definitely more our temperature.

Ice-cold.

[groans]

Hey, brainiac.

Or should I say, "Brian-iac."

[all laugh]

She thinks she's funny. Win her over with a joke.

Um, did you hear what the proton said to the electron?

"Don't be so negative."

[laughs]

-Abort. Abort. -[alarm blaring]

-I got to go. -[Cyrano] Make them think

you've got somewhere cooler to be.

To a tap-dance marathon to fight cyborg diabetes.

Cyabetes.

[whimpering]

-[loud crash] -[cat mewls]

[Cyrano] Oh, boy.

Okay, did that actually happen,

or is there, like, a gas leak in here?

Ugh! That was bad.

I am never going to be cool.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Calm down.

It was just a minor setback.

Minor? You saw me out there.

[laughs]

You are deffo a special case.

Hey, I got an idea.

Why not give me control of some of your motor functions?

That way we could avoid any future awkwardness.

And you'd also have more access to my cool.

Really?

You'd do that for me?

Sure, Bri.

We're a team.

Just go to settings.

Uh-huh.

And then hit "okay."

Whoa.

I feel so...

cool.

'Sup, Lakshmi?

Keep it breezy,

[scats]

Dennis, my man.

-Wow! -Wait, was that Brian?

[speaking gibberish]

That was Brian.

Since when has he been cool?

[grunting and growling]

Hey, Khensu.

Let me drop this by your office.

Thanks. That's very cool of you.

I guess I should have reprimanded him

for using a hoverboard inside.

But he's just so cool.

[all cheering]

[dance music plays]

All right, Brian!

-[crowd] Brian! Brian! -Hey. Hey.

Nice of you to join us, Brian.

I'm sorry, Professor Sitre.

Hey, your fur looks spectacular.

Oh, stop.

I got highlights.

And they are working for you.

Something's gone awry!

-It's alive! It's alive! -[all scream]

That doesn't sound good.

But it's another opportunity to be cool.

So we're going in.

[laughs]

Yo, what's the haps?

[all screaming]

[roars]

I thought I was supposed to add the blue powder.

-[growls] -[screams]

[yelps]

[laughs]

Help! Help!

Don't worry, Callie. I've got it.

Help!

[fire alarm beeping]

[laughing]

[whimpering]

You've got something there on your...

perfect cheek.

He's so dreamy.

Wait, did I just say that about Brian?

Do I like Brian?

What is happening here?

[crowd shouting]

[chuckles]

Uh-huh.

[all chanting] Brian! Brian! Brian!

What's going on with Brian?

Either we've entered a parallel dimension,

or he's...cool.

This is awesome!

[all] Brian! Brian! Brian!

So tell the story about the science lab again, Bri.

Eh, you know, I heard screams,

saw the ooze and I started rescuing kids.

Like you.

-[whimpers] -Ooh!

Next time I hope I'm the one in mortal peril.

-[whimpers] -Ahem.

Well, well, if it isn't your old friends "Cleo-poo-tra"

and "Dork-ila."

-Ugh! -Mm...

Brian, we really need your help.

Sure. What do you need?

Whoa, don't be too available

if you want Akila to think you're cool.

But don't forget I've got stuff to do, chickie-pie.

[both gasp]

Hello? This is very important.

Well, if it's important I guess I could squeeze you in.

Wait your turn, ladies.

Brian's busy with things and stuff.

How have we just breezed past

the whole "chickie-pie" thing?

No one "chickie-pies" me.

And if you think we can't do this without you,

then I hope you are sorely mistaken.

We'll be with Khensu

if you can find an opening in your schedule.

Akila.

No.

You don't want to seem too interested,

or she'll lose interest.

Guess I'm still not cool enough to see how that makes sense.

We're no closer to locating the Uta Tablet?

Without Brian's help, it's a little slow.

He keeps blowing us off to go have fun.

I mean, I'm more responsible than Brian now.

We should all be very afraid.

Ugh, we're better off without him.

-He's so... -Cool.

...obnoxious.

But there are no more panic attacks,

or boring inventions,

or dissertations on quantum theory.

I know.

I miss the old Brian.

Yo, Akila.

You, me, planetarium, tonight.

You're welcome.

Sorry, Brian, you're not the only one with a busy schedule.

I have a tablet to track down.

Uh..

What are you doing? I told you to be yourself.

Akila likes her Brians dorky.

You blew it, man.

[whimpers]

I'm free tonight if you want to hang.

[sighs]

Sorry, Cyrano. This isn't working.

I'm going to uninstall you.

Yeah, little issue there.

-Uh... -You can't uninstall me.

Burn!

Oh, really? We'll just see about that.

Sorry, Bri...

[grunts]

...but I'm in control of your body now.

And I'm trapping you in your own neural matrix.

[screams]

[whimpers]

It's dark in here.

Really dark.

And I'm really afraid of the dark.

Aah!

If you're curious what I'm doing with your body,

you can watch on what they used to call a TV set.

You can see what I see,

but there's nothing you can do about it.

Burn!

Oh, and the reception's super bad,

because I'm evil.

Double burn!

[laughs]

You won't get away with this.

I already have.

You see, I'm an artificial intelligence

designed especially for you...

by Octavian.

Aah!

Your body's working for him now.

And it's due for some upgrades.

[shrieks and sobs]

I look terrible with a mustache.

Wow, you're not kidding.

I just don't have the face for it.

You'd think it would work, but it so doesn't.

You should see me with a beard. Even worse.

Anyway, time to take your friends to Octavian.

[cackles]

Yo, guys, we have to hurry.

Hey, did you sort out your--?

Holy muscles. What have you done to yourself?

Just got me some sweet new arms.

Mwah. Mwah.

[both] Eww.

So I located the Uta Tablet.

It's on a planet occupied by Xerxes.

We have to go right away.

You, Brian, want to go without backup?

No, Cleo. It's a trick. He's not me.

And he hasn't found the Uta Tablet.

And without hyperventilating

about how terrifying missions are?

[hyperventilating]

I have upgrades. And this is the Uta Tablet.

Super important, remember?

I guess its importance overrides whatever this weirdness is.

All right, let's go get some Uta.

You seem very relaxed for a guy who's about to battle

a bunch of Xerxes.

I am not relaxed!

I'm losing it. It's dark in here.

And a maniac has control of my body.

[laughs]

That's right, dweeb.

Hey, who are you calling dweeb?

Uh...myself, obviously.

Babe, why don't you let me take the controls?

Uh, no. I think I should drive.

[deep voice] I think I should drive!

-[both gasp] -Huh?

[normal voice] Uh...

[laughs nervously]

...just to give you a break.

Yeah. Okay.

Akila, we should put on our mission suits.

For safety.

Yay, safety.

Okay, obviously I don't care about safety.

I just wanted an excuse to talk alone.

Ooh! The one thing I enjoy more than safety protocol

is a gab-fest.

So, what are we talking? New class schedule?

-Lakshmi's haircut? -Brian.

Something's majorly wrong with him.

I know, right? I'm super worried.

We need to get him to Dr. Queed

to figure out what's wrong,

but he's not going to want to go.

We could disable him somehow,

by using his own fear against him.

Ooh, which one? There are so many fears to choose from.

Brian, we're taking over.

[grunts, punches landing]

[Cleo] Take control of the ship, Akila.

I got him.

I don't got him.

Brian!

Why didn't you freak out in the dark?

Because that's not Brian.

Aah!

Well, now that you spoiled my big surprise,

I might as well just tell you.

I'm not Brian.

Call me Cyrano.

I'm an artificial intelligence,

and I stole Brian's body and trapped him in his own mind.

Now you're prisoners and I'm taking you to Octavian.

Everyone caught up?

Uh-huh. Fun story.

both grunt]

Don't hurt him.

Brian's still in there somewhere.

Whoa!

Okay, maybe hurt him a little.

[both grunting]

Open his back panel and power him down.

[charger beeps]

No!

[wind gusting]

[both screaming]

[squeaking]

[both screaming]

[grunts]

No!

I know you can hear me, Brian. Help us.

[Brian] Get it together, Brian.

For Cleo.

For Akila.

[grunting]

-[electricity crackles] -[screams]

Wait a minute.

The TV must be interfacing with my body's optic output.

If I could just integrate with the system...

[electricity crackles]

[grunting]

Huh?

[gasps]

It's me, Brian.

I don't know how long I can hold Cyrano.

[all] Whoa!

Whoa. Power me down.

Not so fast.

-[gasps] -Are you kidding me?

No, chickie-pie, I'm not.

Brian's gone bye-bye, and our ride's here.

[both gasp]

[chuckles]

I hate Octavian,

but man does he know how to make an entrance.

Cleo...

[grunts]

Why didn't we do this on my ship?

I'm a little ticked off with you.

When you blew me up, my cape was ruined.

And this doesn't just come off the rack.

It's custom.

You almost took over the galaxy.

That's a little worse than a ruined cape.

Do you know how hard it is to find a good tailor in space?

I do, but there's a great place off Blantzden's third moon.

Immaculate work, and reasonably priced.

Akila, don't give him tips on tailors.

He's the scourge of the universe.

Cyrano, how goes the search for the Uta Tablet?

We've identified a number of locations of energy signatures

similar to the Ata Tablet's,

but so far we've found nothing.

[chuckles]

[in Cleo's voice] That's all we wanted to know.

Hey, what's going on?

Hate to break it to you, Cyrano,

but everything since we powered Brian down

has been a simulation.

Thanks to my uncanny scientific brilliance!

[babbling]

Attachy-wachy.

Snakes!

What happened?

Brian, I knew you'd save us.

Well, this is good news.

Though I did think you were a goner,

so I called the scrap metal guy.

Ooh, he's going to be mad.

Where's Cyrano?

[clears throat]

Brian, old buddy.

A little help?

[screams]

Queed extracted the Cyrano software from you

and put him in a simulation

to find out if Octavian knows where the Uta Tablet is.

Now we know Octavian's flailing around stupidly

just like you guys are.

Hey, we're flailing around smartly.

So, what are we going to do with Cyrano?

I have an idea.

Stop it! Watch out!

[yelping]

How long are you going to keep me in here?

-Ow! -Forever.

Burn!

[gasps]

-[whimpers] -I'm so happy that everything

and everyone is back to normal.

Yeah, me too.

I'm so sorry about all this, Akila.

I just...

I wanted to ask you out on a date.

Are you asking me on a date now?

I...

[laughs nervously]

I guess I am.

Brian!

Way to go!

Uh, Cleo?

Do you think we could have this moment?

Oh, sorry.

Pretend I'm not here.

We should go to the planetarium.

So that's a yes?

That's a "yeah, sure, you betcha."

I told you she likes her Brians dorky.

And so do I.

[hums]

[Cleo] Please never do that again.

[theme music playing]