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DIANA (V.O.): Previously on Big Time...
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00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,600
This is Isabella Holgado...
3
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:08,065
one of the most notorious drug
traffickers in the world.
4
00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:09,705
( BONE CRACKS )
Agh!
5
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:10,510
Hey...
Hi.
6
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,751
[DEL]
Let's go this way.
7
00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:13,507
[DARLA]
Okay.
8
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:16,124
Maybe, like the toilets
you've been scrubbing...
9
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,717
you're full of crap!
10
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:19,618
Stop, boys!
11
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:20,590
( CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS )
12
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:23,058
What the hell does a cartel
have to do with a local,
suburban family?
13
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,717
And if I do this,
we're square, right?
14
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:27,256
Square.
15
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,426
And here amidst our beauty
and bounty...
16
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:36,273
let us not forget those
less fortunate.
17
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,300
Amen.
18
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,504
Amen.
Beautiful.
19
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,466
So, Vanessa, how's med school?
20
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:44,144
I just have a year left,
one year.
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00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:44,775
You're amazing.
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00:00:44,779 --> 00:00:47,479
I don't mean to brag,
but she is top of her class.
23
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:48,251
Don't brag.
24
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:49,779
Please brag, please.
25
00:00:49,784 --> 00:00:52,684
All right, I'll brag.
No, you are, I have to brag.
26
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:53,546
Okay.
Come on.
27
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:57,264
Well, honey, what about you?
Arguing your first case in front
of the Supreme Court?
28
00:00:57,258 --> 00:01:01,628
It was difficult, of course,
arguing against my childhood
friend Del Plimpton...
29
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:03,359
but his justice was swift...
30
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,534
and subsequently
he was murdered in prison.
31
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:08,403
Yeah, what a shame.
Well, life goes on.
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00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,172
[JACK]
It does.
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00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,740
And Benjamin, the campaign trail
is just doing wonders for you.
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00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:15,469
Luckily the trail hasn't taken
the toll that I'd expected...
35
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:21,276
but there definitely will be
some obvious sympathy weight
that I'll be gaining.
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00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,154
What?
37
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:25,822
Claire's pregnant.
38
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:28,520
Oh!
Oh!
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00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:29,622
And that's where it ends.
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00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:33,693
Diana, it is very common
to have fantasies or dreams...
41
00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,434
about our ideal lives.
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00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,629
I have a dream about the boys,
as well...
43
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:44,201
but in mine they're the strange
mixture of centaur and
a saber-toothed tiger.
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00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:49,705
What do you say we bookmark
that. I just-- I want to finish
with Diana's thoughts, okay?
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00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:50,580
Consider it done.
46
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:54,508
Diana, you speak so frequently
about your disappointment
with Ben and Jack.
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00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:59,485
I wonder if you might want to
redirect those feelings and
focus on how to accept them...
48
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:04,257
as the people that they are,
and not the people that
you expect them to be?
49
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,388
I guess that's what
I'm struggling with.
50
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:11,332
Then you have to ask yourself,
"What do I ultimately want?"
51
00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:15,332
Well, I love them, you know,
I love them so much.
52
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,866
But I guess what I ultimately
want is for them...
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00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:22,742
to be healthy and happy
and... safe.
54
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,943
Agh!
Agh!
55
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:28,605
( THEME MUSIC FADES UP )
Help!
56
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:33,786
¶ Rainbow whoa oh whoa oh ¶
57
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:38,457
¶ Rainbow ¶
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00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,490
Ugh... help.
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00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,025
Who's there?
60
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,359
Oh, my god,
my name is Ben Dolfe...
61
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,895
and I've been kidnapped
and I just need help!
62
00:02:46,901 --> 00:02:48,531
Please call my parents!
63
00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:52,366
Oh, great... you're just the
person I wanted to see.
64
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,843
Jack?
Jack, is that you?
65
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,942
You can see?
No.
66
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,543
Oh, my god, take this bag
off my head, Jack!
67
00:02:58,546 --> 00:02:59,906
Yeah, I have a bag
on my head, too, Ben.
68
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:00,554
Ah, great...
69
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,648
I can only imagine what
you did to get us kidnapped.
70
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,381
I didn't do anything!
What did you do?
71
00:03:05,386 --> 00:03:07,686
I didn't do anything.
Maybe it's because you
got Jimmy Staats killed.
72
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:08,548
Remember that, dick head?
73
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,786
Are you calling me
a dick head...
74
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:11,791
or you calling Jimmy
a dick head?
75
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,932
Because it's pretty hard to tell
where you're putting the comma.
76
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:17,398
I'm calling you a dick head,
Jack! You! No comma!
77
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:18,698
( LOUD THUD )
Agh!
78
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:22,299
Okay, Alan, let's talk
about you for a second.
79
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,943
How would you describe
your sex life?
80
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,070
Excuse me?
81
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:27,674
It's okay, Alan.
82
00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:33,805
Now Diana has told me you've
been slightly inhibited
in the bedroom.
83
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:37,284
But that lately, you're really
starting to open up.
84
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:42,354
Well, um, it has been
liberating having the boys
out of the house.
85
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,556
I'm sure it has been.
[ALAN] That's good.
86
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:50,257
And Diana also tells me that
recently you've been inquiring
about threesomes.
87
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:53,374
Not to put you
on the spot, but...
88
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:56,937
she says you find me
very attractive.
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00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:11,315
( GIGGLES )
90
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:13,348
( DOOR BELL RINGS )
91
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,854
Yeah!
92
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,856
Oh, gosh.
( DOOR BELL RINGING )
93
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,058
Yeah!
94
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:23,955
[ALAN]
Be right there!
95
00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:27,331
Oh! Ow! Ow!
96
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:30,074
Get down! Get down!
97
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:31,900
[ALAN] Down! Ah!
98
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:34,835
Just puttin' something away!
99
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:37,744
Hey.
Hey.
100
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:38,875
Did I catch you at a bad time?
101
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,349
No, no, gosh, no.
102
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:42,708
Wow, what the heck is that?
103
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,476
Oh, just my way to say,
"Nice to meet you."
104
00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:49,585
I'm new in town, and I thought
it'd be a good idea to get
to know my neighbors.
105
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,020
That is so sweet.
106
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:55,026
Oh... Alan Dolfe.
107
00:04:55,029 --> 00:04:55,759
Uh, Bruce Jenson.
108
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,633
Hey, come on in, Bruce!
109
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,801
I'll go open this up.
You just make yourself at home.
110
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:04,041
I don't mind if I do.
111
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:08,768
I don't mind if I do.
112
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:12,110
[ALAN]
So, Bruce, what do you do?
113
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,112
I'm a photographer!
114
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:18,923
[ALAN] Neat! You know, I was
thinking on getting my real
estate headshots updated.
115
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:22,589
[ALAN] Uh, I think that's why
I haven't been selling.
116
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:24,989
[MALLORY] You know,
I can help you with that.
117
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:29,732
Put the cheese onto the cracker,
'cause someone hates the turkey.
118
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,360
( GIGGLES )
119
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,725
It's the last one,
you take it.
120
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,074
Let's split it.
Okay.
121
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,667
Oh, shoot, I gotta get back.
Mm.
122
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:45,575
I'll see you in an hour, okay?
Mm-hm.
123
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:55,891
Welcome to Big Deal Mart,
it's a beautiful day!
124
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:02,155
I'm in love!
125
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,000
Ben?
126
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,500
What?
127
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:13,000
I was just making sure
you were still there.
128
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:16,066
Yeah, I'm still here.
129
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:24,478
Jack, I'm sorry that I called
you a worthless hack...
130
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:30,485
and I'm sorry that I said
your Flix Starter sucked.
131
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,021
Whatever.
132
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:35,085
No, seriously, like,
it was awesome.
133
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,855
You already made it pretty clear
what you thought...
134
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,995
so you don't have to humor me.
135
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,840
I'm-- I'm not humoring you,
Jack.
136
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:47,507
I donated the 25 bucks.
137
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:54,608
[BEN]
You know, I--
138
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:59,080
Jack, did you hear me?
139
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,750
Jack, did you hear what I said?
I mean, do you even care?
140
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,686
Yeah--
141
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:08,464
[BEN]
Are you okay?
142
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,702
I appreciate that you did that.
143
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,967
Jack... are you crying?
144
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:14,567
Unh-unh.
145
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:19,598
Oh, no, buddy, hold on,
I'm coming. I'm coming.
146
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,466
It's okay, pal.
Where are you?
147
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:23,376
Just hug it out,
bring it right--
148
00:07:23,377 --> 00:07:24,577
Ow, you hit me--
ow, you hit me in the head.
149
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:28,548
Squeeze your head to the right.
Drop in--
150
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,679
Y-you're my--
you're my big b-brother.
151
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,845
It's gonna be fine.
I love you, buddy.
152
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,493
( TIRES SCREECHING )
Whoa! Agh!
153
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,789
[JACK]
Your arms are crushing my head!
154
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,131
[BEN]
My arms are tied behind my back!
155
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,058
Cuba?
Cuba!
156
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:46,596
That's it!
157
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,170
Did you kidnap us?
158
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:48,998
Yes, I did.
159
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,672
Oh, it's so good to see you!
160
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,140
Oh, wow, thank you.
Cheers, my brother.
161
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:55,872
Cheers.
162
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:56,836
Listen, I'm sorry about that.
163
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:59,854
You know, we had to be
secretive, because of the
paparazzi and stuff.
164
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:02,607
Oh, you mean what
happened at the house.
165
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:06,646
Exactly! It was a diversion
from the real paparazzi.
Yeah.
166
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:11,093
Yes, you see? I told you
that we weren't just robbing
some random guy's house.
167
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,191
Hey, listen, I got some
good news for y'all.
168
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,362
Yeah.
We gonna make a movie.
169
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,631
Who gonna make a movie?
What?
170
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,660
We gonna make a movie.
171
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:24,636
Wait, what-- are-- you want
to make a movie with us?
172
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:25,968
Of course, I want to make
a movie with y'all!
173
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,113
I've seen all your stuff online!
174
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,308
Oh, my god!
You've seen all our stuff?
175
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,039
All of it!
Cuba's seen all our stuff.
176
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:31,714
Oh, my god!
177
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,612
Are you effin' with us?
Are you effin' with us?
178
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,014
Y'all got vision!
179
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:35,745
Oh, my god.
180
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:38,319
And I already got a financier...
lined up.
181
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,248
Oh, my god, there's money!
182
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:41,653
She wants to make a movie
with cops and bad guys,
and shoot-outs.
183
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,015
You know, action! Maybe a
massive drug deal at the end.
184
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:47,034
That is the best stuff
in movies!
185
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,227
That's the best stuff.
186
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,758
Yeah, she wants to start
right away.
187
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:50,663
You guys got anything
like that?
188
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:51,834
That is all we have!
189
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:55,132
That is great!
We can write a script
immediately!
190
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:56,065
Tomorrow?
Let me think.
191
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,299
Absolutely!
Yeah!
192
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,265
Cheers in this mother[BLEEP]!
193
00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:02,014
Cheers!
We're cheers-ing.
194
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:02,439
Wow.
195
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:05,812
Now, Alan, the other day we
talked about Diana's dreams.
196
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,182
Um, yeah.
197
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,210
Well, what are your fantasies?
198
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,076
( CHOKING )
199
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:14,349
Sorry, that just went
down the wrong pipe.
200
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:18,094
When you dream,
do you think about this?
201
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,691
Do I think about what?
202
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:21,964
Agh!
203
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:22,632
Are you all right?
204
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,359
Alan, you fell asleep.
205
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:28,674
That's actually very easily
triggered by stress or nerves.
206
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:29,329
Stress and nerves.
207
00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:32,966
Diana also tells me
you have trouble urinating
while standing.
208
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:36,213
Uh... I prefer to sit.
209
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:41,379
[ALAN] It's just-- I would have a bowel movement when I urinate.
210
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:42,711
Poor bastard.
211
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:47,446
It's safer to do itsitting down. I'm sorry,but it's safer.
212
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:47,954
Damn!
213
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:54,225
Ho! We are making a movie
with Cuba Gooding Jr.!
214
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:54,787
Yes!
215
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,795
Don't get me wrong, I am super
excited there with you.
216
00:09:56,797 --> 00:10:01,127
But, are you a little concerned
that we promised him a script
that we don't have?
217
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,474
Yes, we did. I did not think
about that.
218
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:06,300
Okay, how long's it normally
take us to write a script?
219
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,406
Probably... two to three years.
220
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,108
That's why we usually shoot
without a script.
221
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,910
Do you think we can do it
in 12 hours?
222
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,382
I think we can freakin' try.
223
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,348
Let's make some coffee!
224
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,420
Oh! I don't know how.
Me, neither.
225
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:21,418
Okay, let's go get coffee!
Get coffee!
226
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,891
Yeah, we should catch
a movie, too.
227
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:23,589
Oh, yes, quick movie.
228
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:27,730
( MUSIC PLAYING )
229
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,302
Ooh!
Here we go!
230
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,130
All right.
We have got one night to write
our magnum opus.
231
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,166
Are you freakin' ready?
232
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,311
I'm freakin' ready!
233
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:48,210
( LAUGHING )
234
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,275
Well, what about a cop drama?
235
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:52,922
All of a sudden, one of the cops
is banging the other cop's wife.
236
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:53,889
This is a good looking woman.
237
00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:57,517
Maybe we'll get like an Angelina
Jolie or a Gwyneth Paltrow or--
238
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,124
Tracey Ullman.
239
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:02,790
( BOTH LAUGHING )
240
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,526
Whoa, Del, a penny!
241
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:07,472
I've never found a lucky p--
( TRUCK HORN HONKING )
242
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:10,967
Agh!
243
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:16,206
Oh, Darla! Darla! Darla!
244
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,909
Whoa, that was a close one.
245
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:22,482
Oh, my god,
I thought I lost you.
246
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,382
Never.
247
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:28,388
( MUSIC FADES UP )
248
00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:33,022
Oh, my god, it's in 3-D.
249
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:37,126
With the glasses on, all you see
is dongs coming at you...
Yeah, yeah...
250
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,860
in the midst of a fight scene.
And it's just whappin'
251
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:40,866
3-D wiener fight.
252
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,527
He comes in, she goes, "What are
you doing? You're in my house!"
253
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:47,306
I'm just gonna freakin' say it,
what if the partner is a chimp?
254
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,807
Absolutely not!
255
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,279
If there is a chimp in this
movie, I walk!
256
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:56,978
On a ladder dangling from
a helicopter being flown by--
wait for it!
257
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:57,423
What?
258
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,017
His estranged partner!
259
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,149
His estranged chimp partner!
260
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:01,724
No!
Why?
261
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,522
No chimpanzee!
262
00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,493
Why?
Because it's just beneath us!
263
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,093
All right!
264
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,370
I know you brought this up
before, but what if the
partner is a chimp?
265
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:20,910
At this point, we're fighting
it if he's not a chimp!
266
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,537
That's it! He's a chimp!
267
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,282
He's a chimp!
He's a chimp!
268
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,052
( MUSIC STOPS )
269
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:34,050
We cut to... Butler driving a
sweet boat into the sunset.
270
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:34,924
He turns and says...
271
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:40,021
Who's got two opposable thumbs
and loves you like crazy?
272
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,956
This guy.
273
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:44,532
I'll see you when I see you.
274
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,531
Is that it?
275
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,873
Yeah.
The end.
276
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,882
( CUBA LAUGHING )
277
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,947
Oh, [BLEEP]!
278
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,488
This movie...
279
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:08,447
incredible.
280
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,315
Oh, my god!
281
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:14,063
Yeah, man, I mean a--
282
00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:17,500
A buddy cop movie
with me and a chimp?
283
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,597
Well, it's tasteful,
it's definitely tasteful.
284
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:20,529
Yeah.
Tasteful?
285
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:21,574
I said let's add
a tasteful touch.
286
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,968
Do you think y'all could direct
this movie for a small budget?
287
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,241
Yeah, no doub-- I mean--
288
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,040
Yeah, for a small-- I mean--
289
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:33,911
How much of a small budget are
you talking about, Mr. Gooding?
290
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:34,654
Could you do it for--
291
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:37,218
Money-- money talks, Cuba.
292
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,517
Five million?
293
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:41,618
I'm sorry, what did you say?
294
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:44,761
Five million dollars.
295
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,758
Do you have any sevens?
296
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,060
Go fish.
297
00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,131
( LOUD BANG )
298
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,259
Show me the money!
299
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,204
Dollar, dollar bills, yo!
300
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,770
[DIANA]
What is going on?
301
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:55,668
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
No, no, no!
302
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:59,399
That's disgusting.
What in tarnations? Stop it!
303
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,609
Oh!
304
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:04,840
[JACK]Oh, my god!
305
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,105
[ALAN] That's HD!
306
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,212
[JACK] It sure is, bitch!
307
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:09,114
Jack, what is this all about?
308
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,745
Oh, we're making a movie!
309
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:14,390
For $5 million!
310
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,247
Oh!
311
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,059
Pierre!
312
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,157
Now, Dad, that
is real human hair...
313
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,629
and you are going to get
a letter from its donor...
314
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:22,788
every single month.
315
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:25,326
[ALAN] What is this movie all about, Jack?
316
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,402
[DIANA] Yes, it's not porn, is it?
317
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:29,499
[BEN] Would Cuba Gooding Jr. do por?
318
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:30,272
Cuba Gooding Jr.?
319
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:32,600
[ALAN] Cuba Gooding Jr...he was a Nutty Professor.
320
00:14:32,606 --> 00:14:33,566
[JACK]No, that's Eddie Murphy.
321
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:36,073
He's the one wherethose white men can't jump.
322
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,776
Yeah, Zdorkin, listen,
I need a favor.
323
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:40,807
Can you pull me up everything
you have on Cuba Gooding Jr.?
324
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:45,124
Oh, goddamn it, Zdorkin, yes,
the Academy Award-winning actor!
325
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:47,623
Oh, look, a shooting star.
326
00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:49,691
[DARLA]
Whoa, cool.
327
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:55,189
That was pretty scary the
other day when I got rammed
by that truck.
328
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:55,655
Yeah.
329
00:14:55,662 --> 00:15:01,402
Del? Do you ever think
what you'd do if you
didn't live here?
330
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,331
[DEL]
I don't know, sometimes.
331
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,396
Oh, come on, tell me.
I won't judge you.
332
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:08,535
Well, do you know
Flamingo Rapids?
333
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,871
In Orlando?
Mm-hm.
334
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:14,276
If I could be anything--
anything in the whole world...
335
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,411
and no judging?
Unh-unh.
336
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:21,146
I'd be Fanny the Flamingo.
( GIGGLES )
337
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,324
Why do you want to be
Fanny the Flamingo?
338
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:27,333
I went there once when I was a
kid, and I remember running up
to him...
339
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:33,197
and then I was surrounded by all
these other kids, and we were
all shouting his name.
340
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:40,371
Then I reached out and I touched
his hand and I felt this...
341
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:44,183
surge of positive energy
washed over me.
342
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:50,177
It was like... electricity
running through my body.
343
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:58,715
And for the first time...
I felt special, I guess.
344
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:05,526
It's the same feeling I get
when I think about being
with you, Darla.
345
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:09,728
I love you, Del.
346
00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:13,536
I love you, too.
347
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:22,349
What if we move there?
348
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:24,679
Just you and me, together.
349
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,524
What, right now?
350
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:29,788
Well, yeah, we'll go back, pack
our bags and meet at the bus
station in an hour.
351
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,219
That sounds crazy.
352
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:35,955
Well, Coo-coo-coo-coo,
cah-coo-coo-cah-cah...
353
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:38,332
yeah, it is,
but we gotta do it!
354
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,501
Let's do it!
355
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,030
Ooh, yes.
356
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:42,574
[BEN] How do you like that goulash!
357
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:46,469
Is that goulash good?
358
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:51,878
I did some digging. There are
rumors about your boy, Cuba.
359
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,908
Looks like he had a little
bit of a habit.
360
00:16:53,913 --> 00:16:56,683
Owed a distributor
upwards of a million dollars.
361
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,653
Want to take a guess as to who?
362
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,891
Holgado.
Bingo.
363
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,289
There's something
going on here, Zdorkin.
364
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,630
Something just doesn't smell
right about this movie.
365
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,857
We need somebody on the inside.
366
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:10,663
A snitch?
367
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:14,433
Someone I could put pressure on.
368
00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,274
Someone I can control.
369
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:27,409
( HUMMING )
370
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:33,019
Oh, hello, can I help you?
371
00:17:33,019 --> 00:17:35,789
Going somewhere, Mr. Plimpton?
372
00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:38,619
Orlando.
373
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,015
I think you better
have a seat, son.
374
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:41,886
Why?
375
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:45,255
Because we might be here
for a while.
376
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:51,437
Busted.
377
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,778
So, we have an understanding,
right, Del?
378
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,720
You're working for us now.
See you tomorrow.
379
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:10,346
[BEN]
Plimpton!
380
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,686
[JACK]
Yo! Where you at?
381
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:13,962
[BEN]
Where you at, bitch?
382
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,430
Ow! Goddamn it!
383
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,399
What the hell
is wrong with your door?
384
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,528
[BEN]
We'll buy him a new one.
385
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:24,103
Well, well, well...
386
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:29,674
I had every intention of coming
in here today and kicking
your ass.
387
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:32,036
But I'm not gonna do that, Del.
No.
388
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:33,575
Nope, because I'm a big man...
389
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,510
and I realized something,
that we both did some things.
390
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:37,845
I broke your legs,
you broke my heart.
391
00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:40,821
Let's let bygones be bygones.
392
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:41,850
Because I got some
good news, buddy.
393
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,685
We are making a movie
with Cuba Gooding Jr...
394
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,490
and we want you
to be our camera man!
395
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,593
Yeah!
He's friggin' speechless.
396
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:49,585
He's speechless.
What do you say?
397
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,996
What is this?
What's with the suitcase?
398
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:55,798
Were you-- were you
going somewhere?
399
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,900
No, no, I was not.
400
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:04,706
No, I was not going anywhere.
401
00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:28,827
DEL (ON VOICEMAIL) Hi, it's Del Plimpton, please leave a message.
402
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,907
Mother[BLEEP]!
403
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:41,012
Piece of [BLEEP],
[BLEEP]sucking...
404
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:45,624
[BLEEP]-loving,
[BLEEP] asshole-stuffing...
405
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:48,148
piece of [BLEEP],
[BLEEP] dick head...
406
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:55,794
loves to suck a [BLEEP] big
[BLEEP] piece of [BLEEP]
garbage [BLEEP] pile!
407
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:58,725
[BLEEP]!
408
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,874
Did you get that scene
I sent you?
409
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:09,042
Good. That'll be the target.
410
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,582
We'll play out most of the
movie, build up the buzz...
411
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:18,778
make it feel legit, then you
make your move exactly
as they wrote it.
412
00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,045
The director?
413
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:20,953
Oh, god, look at this!
Yes!
414
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:24,094
These are trailers!
415
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,260
They're perfect.
416
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,058
This is fake!
417
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,059
What do you think?
You ready to make a movie?
418
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:28,961
[BEN] Oh!
Huh?
419
00:20:28,962 --> 00:20:32,262
We have been waiting
for this our whole lives.
420
00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:36,025
Oh, man-- oh, wait, wait,
when do we start?
421
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:37,535
Now.
Now!
422
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,497
We start now.
We made it.
423
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:40,874
Oh, my god, so could you
just get me a coffee
when you get a chance?
424
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:44,083
[JACK] Cream, a little sugar,
bring it to my trailer.
425
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,507
This is mine!
426
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:47,711
Oh, hey, Del,
you take this one.
427
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:49,584
It says Men's Restroom.
428
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:50,552
[JACK] Yeah, we'll add
a "slash-Del".
429
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:53,550
[JACK] Could somebody add
"slash-Del"?
430
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:10,069
This is her. I'm sure she's
involved in this movie.
431
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:11,169
How's my favorite film?
432
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:14,210
I got everything under control.
You can best believe that.
433
00:21:14,207 --> 00:21:16,667
Are you [BLEEP] my wife?
434
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:17,476
It's not what it looks like!
435
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,777
Are you okay with that angle?
32194
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