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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,703 --> 00:00:04,951 (CHORUS SINGING) 2 00:00:06,619 --> 00:00:09,950 Where am I? 3 00:00:09,951 --> 00:00:11,844 (GOD) Hi, Nora, you're dead. 4 00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,628 - What? - (GOD) Yeah. 5 00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:16,275 Who is that? Who's that? Laverne Cox? Who's that? 6 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:17,526 (GOD) No, I get that a lot. 7 00:00:17,528 --> 00:00:19,753 It's God. You're in heaven. 8 00:00:19,755 --> 00:00:21,296 I'm in heaven. 9 00:00:21,297 --> 00:00:23,629 That's tight! 10 00:00:23,630 --> 00:00:25,588 I mean, it's cool that I'm in heaven. 11 00:00:25,589 --> 00:00:27,546 I'm just, um... 12 00:00:27,547 --> 00:00:29,851 I'm just really gonna miss my... my grandma... 13 00:00:29,853 --> 00:00:32,070 and my dad. 14 00:00:32,072 --> 00:00:33,468 (GOD) That's sweet. 15 00:00:33,470 --> 00:00:34,742 Did you visit them often? 16 00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:36,294 I lived with them. 17 00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:37,861 (GOD) You lived with them? 18 00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,319 Honey, you're almost 30. 19 00:00:39,962 --> 00:00:42,865 So what? I'm... Are you judging me right now? 20 00:00:42,867 --> 00:00:44,409 Like what... ? 21 00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:46,172 We all have our own circumstances. 22 00:00:46,174 --> 00:00:48,403 (GOD) So like were you injured or in between jobs? 23 00:00:48,405 --> 00:00:50,337 What was the deal there? 24 00:00:50,339 --> 00:00:52,688 I was getting my PhD. I was on sabbatical. 25 00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:54,731 (GOD) Girl, I'm God. I know when you're lying. 26 00:00:54,732 --> 00:00:57,230 If you know I'm lying, then why... why even ask? 27 00:00:57,231 --> 00:00:58,967 You know what I mean? 28 00:00:58,969 --> 00:01:01,064 (GOD) It's obviously a test, Nora. 29 00:01:01,065 --> 00:01:03,522 Hmm, guess what else is a test. 30 00:01:03,523 --> 00:01:04,962 You being a bitch. 31 00:01:04,964 --> 00:01:06,076 (GOD) Excuse me? 32 00:01:06,078 --> 00:01:08,354 Did you just call God a bitch? 33 00:01:08,356 --> 00:01:11,229 - Yo. - I'm pretty sure you did. 34 00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:12,856 - No, I didn't. - I got playback, watch. 35 00:01:12,858 --> 00:01:13,875 - (TAPE REWINDING) - Stop, stop, stop. 36 00:01:13,877 --> 00:01:15,369 Guess what else is a test. 37 00:01:15,371 --> 00:01:16,653 You being a bitch. 38 00:01:16,655 --> 00:01:18,134 (GOD) Okay, that's it. I'm done here. 39 00:01:18,136 --> 00:01:20,142 No, no, give me one more. 40 00:01:20,144 --> 00:01:21,233 (GOD, ECHOING) No... 41 00:01:21,235 --> 00:01:22,266 - (GRANDMA) Nora? - What? 42 00:01:22,268 --> 00:01:23,852 - Nora? - Grandma? 43 00:01:23,854 --> 00:01:25,403 - Nora! - (SCREAMING) 44 00:01:25,405 --> 00:01:26,766 - Nora! - Jesus! 45 00:01:26,768 --> 00:01:29,252 Time to get up. Come downstairs. 46 00:01:29,254 --> 00:01:31,479 - I just made some jook. - Jook. 47 00:01:31,481 --> 00:01:35,442 Oh! Look at your room. It's such a mess. 48 00:01:35,444 --> 00:01:37,125 No, it's not. It's not that bad. 49 00:01:37,127 --> 00:01:38,440 It's like a possum lives here. 50 00:01:38,442 --> 00:01:40,142 - No, they don't. - And there's a Fruit Roll-Up 51 00:01:40,144 --> 00:01:41,893 stuck on your lampshade. 52 00:01:43,372 --> 00:01:46,187 What are all these H Mart shopping baskets? 53 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,159 I'm... saving the environment. 54 00:01:48,161 --> 00:01:50,453 Reusable for groceries, laundry. 55 00:01:50,455 --> 00:01:51,975 That one's reusable for general. 56 00:01:51,977 --> 00:01:53,125 I just reuse that. 57 00:01:53,127 --> 00:01:54,767 You are a hoarder. 58 00:01:54,768 --> 00:01:56,477 What about your desk? 59 00:01:56,478 --> 00:01:58,310 How do you get any work done on your desk? 60 00:01:58,311 --> 00:01:59,757 What desk? 61 00:01:59,759 --> 00:02:01,767 And I am not a hoarder. 62 00:02:01,768 --> 00:02:03,227 (SIGHS) 63 00:02:03,228 --> 00:02:05,143 Nora, grow up. 64 00:02:05,144 --> 00:02:06,977 You're too old for this. 65 00:02:06,978 --> 00:02:08,935 Come on, throw some of this stuff away. 66 00:02:08,936 --> 00:02:10,216 No, not that one. 67 00:02:10,218 --> 00:02:12,612 Can you at least throw away this bag of trash? 68 00:02:12,614 --> 00:02:14,603 That, okay, fine. 69 00:02:17,118 --> 00:02:18,547 If you're gonna live at home, 70 00:02:18,549 --> 00:02:19,935 clean your room. 71 00:02:21,544 --> 00:02:23,776 - Hoarder. - I'm not a hoarder! 72 00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:26,766 I collect things. 73 00:02:26,768 --> 00:02:28,269 ♪♪ 74 00:02:28,270 --> 00:02:30,514 (NORA) Oh, shit! 75 00:02:30,516 --> 00:02:32,733 420, gang-gang! It's good-good. 76 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,141 - How you doing, Teddy? - Hey, Nora. 77 00:02:35,143 --> 00:02:37,185 Man, your parents got you on trash duty, too? 78 00:02:37,186 --> 00:02:38,500 What a suck fest. 79 00:02:38,502 --> 00:02:40,477 I'm like, can I get a off day? 80 00:02:40,478 --> 00:02:42,560 Aren't you like 27? 81 00:02:42,561 --> 00:02:44,050 - You need help buying liquor? - No. 82 00:02:44,052 --> 00:02:45,157 - Oh. - No, no. 83 00:02:45,159 --> 00:02:46,473 I'm taking my SATs next week. 84 00:02:46,475 --> 00:02:48,269 Oh, man. (CHUCKLES) 85 00:02:48,270 --> 00:02:50,311 I hate the SATs. 86 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:56,095 Yeah, um, you know, they're pretty important, though. 87 00:02:56,097 --> 00:02:58,185 You know, if I get a good enough score, 88 00:02:58,186 --> 00:03:00,060 I can get into a top college 89 00:03:00,061 --> 00:03:01,767 and go to law school 90 00:03:01,768 --> 00:03:04,099 and hopefully pursue my dream of being a sports attorney. 91 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,427 (INHALES, EXHALES) Yeah, see, you already know 92 00:03:06,429 --> 00:03:07,608 what you're gonna do when you grow up? 93 00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:08,709 Of course. I don't wanna end up 94 00:03:08,711 --> 00:03:10,614 like one of those losers who just lives 95 00:03:10,616 --> 00:03:13,964 with their parents at home and floats through life like a townie log. 96 00:03:16,645 --> 00:03:20,018 (LAUGHING) Cig burned it. 97 00:03:20,019 --> 00:03:21,767 'Cause that's the... Do you dab? 98 00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:23,290 - You into dab? - No, no. 99 00:03:23,292 --> 00:03:24,407 It's a Teva. It's daytime. 100 00:03:24,409 --> 00:03:26,351 I'm fine, but thank you, Nora. 101 00:03:28,451 --> 00:03:30,142 (SIGHS) Sad. 102 00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:32,019 (COUGHING) 103 00:03:33,061 --> 00:03:34,790 ♪♪ 104 00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:37,792 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 105 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:49,539 Dad? What's up? 106 00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,767 Am I a townie log loser? 107 00:03:52,798 --> 00:03:55,081 No, you're not a loser. 108 00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:57,458 Sure, you still live at home. 109 00:03:57,459 --> 00:03:59,750 You got kicked out of the dental assistant training. 110 00:03:59,751 --> 00:04:02,082 But if you compare yourself to your cousin Edmund, 111 00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:04,584 who just bought an apartment complex, 112 00:04:04,585 --> 00:04:07,082 all cash... 113 00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:10,083 No, you're not a loser. 114 00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,746 Yeah, well, Edmund has a vestigial tail. 115 00:04:12,748 --> 00:04:16,780 Okay, so he's not winning the race of life either. 116 00:04:16,782 --> 00:04:19,565 I told you, we don't talk about Edmund's vestigial tail, all right? 117 00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:21,875 It's this long. Disgusting. 118 00:04:21,876 --> 00:04:23,834 It's disgusting. 119 00:04:23,835 --> 00:04:25,417 Shoot, I forgot to feed the turtle. 120 00:04:25,418 --> 00:04:28,177 Carmela, wake up, it's breakfast time? 121 00:04:29,683 --> 00:04:32,478 Nora, I wanna show you something. 122 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,584 Yeah. 123 00:04:34,585 --> 00:04:37,082 Oh, what's... What's that? 124 00:04:37,084 --> 00:04:39,979 This is a picture of my vagina 125 00:04:39,981 --> 00:04:42,082 - after my hysterectomy. - Okay. 126 00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:44,333 This is what happens when you get old. 127 00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:47,093 Good thing is that you still young. 128 00:04:47,095 --> 00:04:49,481 And more important, your vagina's still young. 129 00:04:49,483 --> 00:04:53,156 - Right. - You have your whole life ahead of you. 130 00:04:53,158 --> 00:04:56,157 I know you will live special life. 131 00:04:56,159 --> 00:04:58,292 (PLASTIC CRINKLING, DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 132 00:04:58,293 --> 00:05:01,963 Oh, I got something stuck to my teeth. 133 00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:05,091 - (DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) - (SCRATCHING) 134 00:05:06,455 --> 00:05:09,644 You know what? It is, Grandma. 135 00:05:09,646 --> 00:05:10,969 I... I... You know what? 136 00:05:10,971 --> 00:05:13,082 I can't live a special life... 137 00:05:13,083 --> 00:05:16,082 here, right? 138 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,208 I think... I think I need to move out. 139 00:05:18,209 --> 00:05:20,273 - Well, then move out. - Yeah. 140 00:05:20,275 --> 00:05:22,166 You don't wanna end up like Esther Wong, 141 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:25,589 sleeping in the same room as her 89-year-old parents. 142 00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:27,750 - Jesus. - It's like a Chinese version 143 00:05:27,751 --> 00:05:29,034 - of "Willy Wonka". - Right. 144 00:05:29,036 --> 00:05:32,166 You know what? I'm gonna do it. Thanks, Grandma. 145 00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:34,082 Hey, Dad? 146 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,125 What's up, Princess? 147 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,375 I just talked to Grandma. 148 00:05:37,376 --> 00:05:39,446 I think I'm gonna move out. 149 00:05:39,448 --> 00:05:42,297 Okay. Where you gonna live? 150 00:05:43,331 --> 00:05:45,407 I don't know yet, but Chenise 151 00:05:45,409 --> 00:05:47,223 just bought this big-ass apartment. 152 00:05:47,225 --> 00:05:48,281 Who? 153 00:05:48,283 --> 00:05:50,082 Chenise, my friend from high school. 154 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,748 She's a badass lawyer. 155 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:54,502 Nora, we are so proud of you. 156 00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:58,125 - Thanks. - I'm sad, but also happy. 157 00:05:58,126 --> 00:06:00,292 Me too. 158 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,523 (SPEAKING CHINESE) _ 159 00:06:01,525 --> 00:06:05,305 _ 160 00:06:06,173 --> 00:06:07,596 - What are you doing? - Sorry. 161 00:06:07,598 --> 00:06:09,028 I just thought we'd have a moment. 162 00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:11,081 - It's our mother tongue. - Oh. 163 00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:13,625 ♪♪ 164 00:06:13,626 --> 00:06:16,753 - What's up? What's up? - What's up? Hi, babe. 165 00:06:16,755 --> 00:06:18,615 - How are ya? - Good, how are you? 166 00:06:18,617 --> 00:06:20,557 - Good. Thanks for letting me crash. - You're welcome. 167 00:06:20,559 --> 00:06:21,597 Here you go. Any time. 168 00:06:21,599 --> 00:06:22,953 Look, you can eat whatever you want in the fridge, 169 00:06:22,955 --> 00:06:24,578 but don't ever pick up my landline. 170 00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:26,393 And the second bedroom that I'm renovating, 171 00:06:26,395 --> 00:06:28,291 there's actually black mold under the floorboards, 172 00:06:28,293 --> 00:06:29,555 - so like don't go in there. - Oh, yeah. 173 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:31,298 - Okay, I won't go in there. - Yeah, okay, cool. 174 00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,332 Yeah, what's up with this place, though? 175 00:06:33,334 --> 00:06:35,909 It smells like, uh, B.O. and tofu water. 176 00:06:35,911 --> 00:06:37,617 I know, it's amazing, right? 177 00:06:37,619 --> 00:06:39,625 - Yeah, sure. - Oh, okay, okay, okay. 178 00:06:39,626 --> 00:06:41,875 That's Corn. 179 00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:43,875 (WHISPERS) Easy, easy, slow. 180 00:06:43,876 --> 00:06:45,979 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 181 00:06:45,981 --> 00:06:47,110 (NORA) That's Corn? 182 00:06:47,112 --> 00:06:48,943 That's the guy you've been trying to get with? 183 00:06:48,945 --> 00:06:50,853 - Yeah. - (VOICE ON PHONE) You have a ride request. 184 00:06:50,855 --> 00:06:53,388 - Oh, look at that. I got a customer. - Okay. 185 00:06:53,390 --> 00:06:55,417 - Make that money! - Yeah, okay. 186 00:06:55,418 --> 00:06:57,458 - Wakanda. - Don't do that. 187 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,905 (CAR ALARM CHIRPS) 188 00:06:58,907 --> 00:07:01,250 ♪ We go to work, work, work, work... ♪ 189 00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:02,451 I've always been into country. 190 00:07:03,091 --> 00:07:05,124 - Love Miranda Lambert. - _ 191 00:07:05,126 --> 00:07:06,917 Think she's super talented. 192 00:07:06,918 --> 00:07:08,542 - Celebrity threesomes. - _ 193 00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:11,328 Mm, probably Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman. 194 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,500 'Cause I've always wanted to be the tall one. 195 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:14,705 - (MUSIC, BELL DINGING) - _ 196 00:07:14,707 --> 00:07:16,729 I had a full row of teeth 197 00:07:16,731 --> 00:07:20,567 behind a second full row of teeth. 198 00:07:20,569 --> 00:07:22,415 Bite into a piece of matzah, 199 00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,499 the whole thing would disintegrate, man. 200 00:07:24,501 --> 00:07:26,880 My parents actually left me at the Grand Canyon. 201 00:07:26,882 --> 00:07:29,082 Kinda like Joe Dirt. I love Dana Carvey. 202 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:31,189 (MUSIC, BELL DINGS) 203 00:07:31,191 --> 00:07:32,599 _ 204 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,682 What you got there, a bassoon? 205 00:07:34,684 --> 00:07:37,002 - Um, it's a ukulele. - Ah, yes. 206 00:07:37,004 --> 00:07:38,998 An "ook-oo-lele". 207 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,354 Beautiful instrument. 208 00:07:40,356 --> 00:07:42,083 One of my favorite musicians actually is 209 00:07:42,084 --> 00:07:44,083 - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. - Hmm. 210 00:07:44,084 --> 00:07:46,458 He's dead, but his music lives on. Beautiful body. 211 00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:48,500 Sorry, can you watch the road, please? 212 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,082 Yeah, yeah, you got it. You got it. 213 00:07:51,229 --> 00:07:54,223 Yeah, I... I too used to dabble in music 214 00:07:54,225 --> 00:07:55,264 back in high school. 215 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,429 But they should've called it bi-school 216 00:07:56,431 --> 00:07:58,179 'cause I was bi as fuck back then. 217 00:07:59,053 --> 00:08:01,672 Bisexual. Um, vagina and penis. 218 00:08:01,674 --> 00:08:03,641 Sorry, do you mind going a little faster? 219 00:08:03,643 --> 00:08:05,177 - It's just I'm gonna be late for this gig. - Oh. 220 00:08:05,179 --> 00:08:06,492 Oh, cool, real gig, huh? 221 00:08:06,494 --> 00:08:07,951 Real gig, wow. 222 00:08:07,953 --> 00:08:09,384 Well, it's an open mic. 223 00:08:09,386 --> 00:08:11,034 But that's how a lot of people get discovered. 224 00:08:11,036 --> 00:08:12,441 Hmm. 225 00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:14,792 I bet that's how they found Israel Kamakawiwo'ole. 226 00:08:14,793 --> 00:08:18,041 Matter of fact, let me see if I still got his CD. 227 00:08:18,043 --> 00:08:20,025 (CAR HORN BLARING) 228 00:08:20,027 --> 00:08:21,674 (TIRES SCREECH) 229 00:08:21,676 --> 00:08:24,165 Please pull over! You're scaring me and I'd like to get out! 230 00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,082 You wanna get out? Why? 231 00:08:26,083 --> 00:08:28,082 Pull over now or I'm calling the cops. 232 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:29,398 All right, pulling over now. 233 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,802 Oh! You should know you're a bad driver. 234 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:34,705 Shouldn't we uplift each other? 235 00:08:34,707 --> 00:08:36,272 One star. 236 00:08:36,274 --> 00:08:37,496 Have a good one. 237 00:08:37,498 --> 00:08:38,677 (BICYCLE BELL RINGING) 238 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:41,482 Oh, holy shit! Oh, my God! 239 00:08:41,484 --> 00:08:43,776 (LIGHTER FLICKS, INHALING) 240 00:08:45,032 --> 00:08:47,513 Can you believe that Commutez suspended me 241 00:08:47,515 --> 00:08:51,364 because I broke one white girl's collarbone? 242 00:08:51,366 --> 00:08:54,555 Meanwhile my rating drops down to a 2.0, 243 00:08:54,557 --> 00:08:57,640 which is a dope GPA, but a shit Commutez rating. 244 00:08:57,641 --> 00:09:00,706 Oh, yeah, listen, we need to find you a job. 245 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,376 All right, all right, all right. 246 00:09:02,378 --> 00:09:04,169 All right, any ideas? 247 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:05,391 Architecture. 248 00:09:05,393 --> 00:09:06,691 Mm, "artiteture". 249 00:09:06,693 --> 00:09:09,334 Um, the thing with that is I hate buildings 250 00:09:09,336 --> 00:09:12,003 and I hate the act of building. 251 00:09:12,005 --> 00:09:13,509 Plus, don't you need a degree for that? 252 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:16,296 Okay, okay, okay. Something with less education. 253 00:09:16,298 --> 00:09:18,884 Okay, my cousin works at a convalescent home in Yonkers. 254 00:09:18,886 --> 00:09:20,787 Do you want me to see if they need an extra hand? 255 00:09:20,789 --> 00:09:22,585 Yeah, nah, I can't do that again. 256 00:09:22,586 --> 00:09:25,128 I... I freak out old people. I remind them of 'Nam. 257 00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:27,378 Okay, what else? What else? What else? 258 00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:31,723 (CRYING) 259 00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:33,665 (NORA SOBBING) I can't do anything, Chenise? 260 00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:36,417 - Okay. - I am gonna die alone 261 00:09:36,419 --> 00:09:39,176 sleeping with my grandparents, 262 00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:42,643 like "Willy Wonka and the Charlie Factory". 263 00:09:42,645 --> 00:09:45,168 Okay, that's nothing. Okay, shh, shh... 264 00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:47,171 (GASPS) 265 00:09:47,173 --> 00:09:50,389 I wish I had purpose like you, you dumb bitch. 266 00:09:50,391 --> 00:09:52,979 You're a rich-ass lawyer 267 00:09:52,981 --> 00:09:54,505 and you look like Olivia Pope. 268 00:09:54,507 --> 00:09:56,027 I got nothing. 269 00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,511 Okay, okay. 270 00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:58,868 Thank you. 271 00:09:58,870 --> 00:10:00,411 It's gonna be okay. 272 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,808 Don't light my hair on fire again. 273 00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:05,834 (SOBBING) I won't. 274 00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:07,045 ♪♪ 275 00:10:13,545 --> 00:10:16,710 - (SCOFFS) Great. - _ 276 00:10:16,711 --> 00:10:18,544 (PHONE RINGING) 277 00:10:18,545 --> 00:10:21,584 Chenise? 278 00:10:21,585 --> 00:10:22,795 - Chenise! - (PHONE RINGING) 279 00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:27,397 - Chenise, your work is calling! - _ 280 00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:30,107 - (PHONE RINGING) - Chenise? 281 00:10:30,109 --> 00:10:32,506 (CHENISE'S VOICE) In the second bedroom that I'm renovating, 282 00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:33,882 like don't go in there. 283 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,585 (NORA'S VOICE) I won't go in there. 284 00:10:35,586 --> 00:10:37,044 (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) 285 00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:39,085 - (CREEPY MUSIC PLAYING) - (PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) 286 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:43,245 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 287 00:10:43,247 --> 00:10:44,518 (MAN ON PHONE) Hi there. 288 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,760 I'm just calling to see if you're gonna be on tonight... 289 00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:54,961 (CREEPY MUSIC CONTINUES) 290 00:11:03,087 --> 00:11:06,337 What? 291 00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:11,518 "420CamChicks.com"? 292 00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,073 Ugh. 293 00:11:16,373 --> 00:11:18,435 Oh, my Go... 294 00:11:18,437 --> 00:11:20,917 I helped that bitch study for the bar! 295 00:11:20,919 --> 00:11:23,420 ♪♪ 296 00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:32,584 Hey there, friend. 297 00:11:32,585 --> 00:11:34,585 You wearing a top hat? 298 00:11:36,733 --> 00:11:37,856 Hey, how was work today? 299 00:11:37,858 --> 00:11:38,922 It was good. 300 00:11:38,924 --> 00:11:40,571 Yeah, you got a big case, right? 301 00:11:40,573 --> 00:11:42,231 - It's big. - I actually heard about it. 302 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:43,271 I heard about it. 303 00:11:43,273 --> 00:11:46,177 Was it called the State vs. Ganja Gyal 420?! 304 00:11:46,179 --> 00:11:48,824 - No, no-no. It's not what you think. - This is exactly what I think. 305 00:11:48,826 --> 00:11:51,086 Here you are with a three-foot bong dressed as Lady Liberty. 306 00:11:51,087 --> 00:11:52,804 Okay, look, I didn't pass the bar. 307 00:11:52,806 --> 00:11:54,835 Okay, I didn't wanna tell you because I was embarrassed 308 00:11:54,836 --> 00:11:56,155 and I started camming to pay rent, 309 00:11:56,157 --> 00:11:57,573 and it took off. 310 00:11:58,253 --> 00:11:59,835 What were you doing all day? 311 00:11:59,836 --> 00:12:01,969 You know what? No. No, no! 312 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,543 I don't even care that you were camming. 313 00:12:03,545 --> 00:12:05,608 All right? I lay my shit bare to you all the time. 314 00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:07,603 Well, you have a lot less shame than I do, Nora. 315 00:12:07,605 --> 00:12:09,543 - Wow. Wow. - Okay, well, I'm sorry. 316 00:12:09,545 --> 00:12:11,584 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, that's not what I meant. 317 00:12:11,585 --> 00:12:14,650 Um, you know, you could cam, too. 318 00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:16,815 It pays really well. We could double-team. 319 00:12:16,817 --> 00:12:18,926 - Yeah, we can double-team. - Yeah. 320 00:12:18,928 --> 00:12:22,395 Yeah. You know what? I'm not mad. I'm not mad. 321 00:12:22,397 --> 00:12:23,967 I'm just... I gotta go cool off. 322 00:12:23,969 --> 00:12:26,086 - I'm gonna go to my room. - What room? 323 00:12:26,087 --> 00:12:28,584 (SNIFFLES) 324 00:12:28,585 --> 00:12:30,128 (CELL PHONE RINGING) 325 00:12:34,568 --> 00:12:37,528 Hi, Dora. It's me. Grandma. 326 00:12:37,530 --> 00:12:39,159 Hey, Grandma. 327 00:12:39,161 --> 00:12:40,516 You okay? 328 00:12:40,518 --> 00:12:41,832 Yeah. 329 00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:44,549 Oh, ba-ba, you can't fool me. 330 00:12:44,551 --> 00:12:46,584 I can tell you taking sad shit. 331 00:12:46,585 --> 00:12:48,917 - (SCOFFS) - Come have dinner with us tonight. 332 00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:51,584 Make you feel better. 333 00:12:51,585 --> 00:12:53,670 - Okay. - Oh, good girl. 334 00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:55,668 Now lift up that camera. 335 00:12:55,669 --> 00:12:57,584 I can see your pubic patch. 336 00:12:57,585 --> 00:12:59,377 - Disgusting. - Sorry. 337 00:12:59,378 --> 00:13:01,628 ♪♪ 338 00:13:04,219 --> 00:13:06,242 Now, we were hoping for evaluation 339 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:09,355 at 60 mil, but one VC actually valued I set up 340 00:13:09,357 --> 00:13:12,518 to a hundred, so I really saw the potential 341 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,830 in our app to get rid of homeless people. 342 00:13:14,832 --> 00:13:16,960 Mm, yeah, homeless. 343 00:13:16,961 --> 00:13:19,585 - Gross. - Yeah. 344 00:13:19,586 --> 00:13:21,952 You didn't tell me Edmund was coming to dinner, Grandma. 345 00:13:21,954 --> 00:13:23,175 Ah, isn't it great? 346 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,862 Your cousin in town from San Francisco. 347 00:13:25,864 --> 00:13:27,940 Actually, it's Palo Alto. 348 00:13:27,942 --> 00:13:31,289 That's where most of the tech industry is now. 349 00:13:31,291 --> 00:13:32,921 Yeah, sure. Sure. 350 00:13:32,923 --> 00:13:35,044 Yeah, I only go to San Francisco 351 00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:37,662 to get my Tesla serviced. 352 00:13:37,664 --> 00:13:39,877 Yeah, more like his testes serviced. 353 00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:41,584 (LAUGHING) 354 00:13:41,585 --> 00:13:44,583 (WALLY) You know, Nora here's moving out. 355 00:13:44,585 --> 00:13:46,668 She's starting her own career. 356 00:13:46,669 --> 00:13:48,512 Oh, yeah? How's that going? 357 00:13:48,514 --> 00:13:51,007 It's going super dope, super dope, super dope. 358 00:13:51,009 --> 00:13:53,986 Uh, got temporarily fired from Commutez. 359 00:13:53,988 --> 00:13:56,584 - Yeah. - What? Where does this Commutez live? 360 00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,794 I'm gonna eat her ass. 361 00:13:58,795 --> 00:14:01,562 Grandma, it's "beat" her ass. 362 00:14:01,564 --> 00:14:02,908 - Yeah. - Hey. 363 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:06,176 Maybe Edmund can get you a job. Huh? 364 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,307 What do you say, bro? 365 00:14:08,309 --> 00:14:10,137 Uh, well, Uncle Wally, 366 00:14:10,139 --> 00:14:13,244 it's kinda hard to get a job in tech. 367 00:14:13,246 --> 00:14:15,585 Most of my colleagues went to Ivy League schools. 368 00:14:15,586 --> 00:14:17,794 Most have advanced degrees. 369 00:14:17,795 --> 00:14:22,028 And Nora has a certificate from ITT Tech? 370 00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:24,294 Oh, she loves computers. 371 00:14:24,295 --> 00:14:26,778 Maybe she work for Apple store. 372 00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:29,070 Yeah, more like the Microsoft store. 373 00:14:29,071 --> 00:14:31,861 (LAUGHING) 374 00:14:33,114 --> 00:14:35,429 - Bill Gates sucks. - Yeah. 375 00:14:35,431 --> 00:14:38,394 You know, actually, Edmund, I just got offered 376 00:14:38,396 --> 00:14:39,869 a really cool job in tech. 377 00:14:39,871 --> 00:14:42,632 Really cool, solid pay, good benefits, yeah. 378 00:14:42,634 --> 00:14:44,348 - What? - I get Delta Dental. 379 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,789 - Really? - Yeah. 380 00:14:45,791 --> 00:14:48,617 Oh, you see? My girl got special job. 381 00:14:48,619 --> 00:14:49,795 Thanks, Grandma. 382 00:14:49,797 --> 00:14:51,668 Princess, I'm so proud of you... 383 00:14:51,670 --> 00:14:52,918 - Thanks, Dad. - ... if that's true. 384 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,466 It's true. 385 00:14:54,468 --> 00:14:55,593 What's the start-up? 386 00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,620 Um... (CLEARS THROAT) 387 00:14:59,622 --> 00:15:03,367 (CHENISE) Nora, we got 200 guys waiting to go live. 388 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:04,874 We're gonna make bank. 389 00:15:04,876 --> 00:15:06,445 They've been asking me to double-team 390 00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:08,366 with an Asian dragon lady for weeks. 391 00:15:08,368 --> 00:15:10,183 You know that a dragon lady 392 00:15:10,185 --> 00:15:12,404 is different than an actual dragon, right? 393 00:15:13,592 --> 00:15:15,615 They're filling up. We gotta move. 394 00:15:15,617 --> 00:15:17,430 Oh, no, no. You know what? 395 00:15:17,432 --> 00:15:19,052 No, I can't. I can't do this. 396 00:15:19,054 --> 00:15:20,846 - And we're live. - (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 397 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:25,673 Yeah. 398 00:15:26,197 --> 00:15:27,446 This how I dance. 399 00:15:28,112 --> 00:15:30,070 That's how I dance. 400 00:15:30,071 --> 00:15:32,445 At home, alone. 401 00:15:32,446 --> 00:15:35,349 I don't know how, but I think they're liking it. 402 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:37,909 Guy from Tasmania just donated a big coin. 403 00:15:37,911 --> 00:15:39,242 - Really? - Yeah. 404 00:15:39,244 --> 00:15:41,612 Whoa, I'm gonna get that Bazos money. 405 00:15:41,613 --> 00:15:44,000 Yeah, I'm gonna back up the truck. 406 00:15:44,002 --> 00:15:48,486 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. 407 00:15:48,488 --> 00:15:51,350 - Oh, you're lit. - I'm lit. 408 00:15:51,352 --> 00:15:53,210 - No, no, you're on fire. - I'm on fire. 409 00:15:53,212 --> 00:15:54,926 - Your tail! - What?! 410 00:15:54,928 --> 00:15:56,861 - Turn around! - Oh! I'm on fire! 411 00:15:56,862 --> 00:15:59,073 Whoa, Chenise! Get it out! 412 00:15:59,075 --> 00:16:01,235 - Sorry! I'm sorry! (SCREAMS) - Get it out! 413 00:16:01,237 --> 00:16:03,571 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 414 00:16:05,337 --> 00:16:07,150 - (KNOCKING ON WINDOW) - Ma'am. 415 00:16:07,152 --> 00:16:08,775 Ma'am, wake up! 416 00:16:08,776 --> 00:16:11,399 - Ma'am. - Oh. 417 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,817 Lower your window, please. 418 00:16:14,984 --> 00:16:16,979 Lower your window. 419 00:16:16,981 --> 00:16:18,624 Lower your window, please. 420 00:16:19,919 --> 00:16:21,317 - Ma'am... - Was I speeding? 421 00:16:21,319 --> 00:16:22,726 Because I did not see that stop sign. 422 00:16:22,728 --> 00:16:25,668 No, you're being towed because the sign says "no parking". 423 00:16:27,721 --> 00:16:29,546 Says "parking anytime". 424 00:16:29,548 --> 00:16:31,630 That says "no parking anytime". 425 00:16:31,631 --> 00:16:33,237 Where do you see the "no"? 426 00:16:33,239 --> 00:16:34,459 On the sign! 427 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,755 It says "no parking anytime". 428 00:16:36,756 --> 00:16:39,212 I'm gonna be real with you, all right? 429 00:16:39,213 --> 00:16:41,193 I burned down my friend's house. 430 00:16:41,195 --> 00:16:43,211 It's a two-bedroom rental. 431 00:16:43,213 --> 00:16:45,755 It's beautiful and, um... 432 00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:49,212 I don't know where to go. I have nowhere to go. 433 00:16:49,213 --> 00:16:51,892 Ma'am, I'm sorry to hear that. 434 00:16:51,894 --> 00:16:53,880 But could you step out of the car, please? 435 00:16:54,979 --> 00:16:57,211 (SIGHS) I'm not wearing pants. 436 00:16:57,213 --> 00:16:58,802 What do you... What? 437 00:16:58,804 --> 00:17:00,588 I like to sleep with... 438 00:17:00,589 --> 00:17:02,095 just feeling the surface underneath. 439 00:17:02,097 --> 00:17:03,610 You gotta step outta the car. 440 00:17:03,612 --> 00:17:05,966 - You're being towed. - I'm just shy, you know? 441 00:17:05,968 --> 00:17:08,212 So just... if you could just... 442 00:17:08,213 --> 00:17:10,005 Oh, absolutely. 443 00:17:10,006 --> 00:17:11,756 (ENGINE STARTS) 444 00:17:13,788 --> 00:17:16,211 - (METAL GRINDING) - Fuck! 445 00:17:16,213 --> 00:17:17,923 (GRINDING CONTINUES) 446 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,915 - What is that? - That's a boot. 447 00:17:25,631 --> 00:17:28,797 Ohh! 448 00:17:29,829 --> 00:17:31,969 Nope, not today. 449 00:17:31,971 --> 00:17:33,993 - Can I ride with you? - No! 450 00:17:33,995 --> 00:17:35,936 Do you have pants? 451 00:17:35,938 --> 00:17:37,604 (SAD MUSIC PLAYING) 452 00:17:39,649 --> 00:17:42,102 No! What am I gonna do for work? 453 00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:44,212 Cory Underwood! 454 00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:46,523 (SOBBING) I love you! 455 00:17:49,881 --> 00:17:53,131 Yeah. 456 00:17:53,835 --> 00:17:55,084 Hi, Dad. 457 00:17:56,213 --> 00:17:57,423 ♪♪ 458 00:18:13,173 --> 00:18:16,755 Why didn't you just come home? 459 00:18:18,404 --> 00:18:20,493 I don't know. My dignity? 460 00:18:20,495 --> 00:18:22,755 So you started living in your car? 461 00:18:22,756 --> 00:18:26,181 I... I wanted to prove that I could do it on my own. 462 00:18:26,183 --> 00:18:27,821 You know that your mother was in labor 463 00:18:27,823 --> 00:18:29,922 for like 37 hours? 464 00:18:29,923 --> 00:18:33,490 You clung onto her uterus like The Thing. 465 00:18:33,492 --> 00:18:36,829 It was so gross, man, I threw up on the nurse. 466 00:18:36,831 --> 00:18:38,688 - Eww. - You know, the baby comes out, 467 00:18:38,690 --> 00:18:39,778 it's not all clean. 468 00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:41,173 There's all this stuff all over it. 469 00:18:41,175 --> 00:18:42,467 It looks like the inside of a Pop-Tart. 470 00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:45,305 And then she comes up to me, "Do you wanna cut the cord, sir?" 471 00:18:45,307 --> 00:18:47,222 And I said, "Holy shit. 472 00:18:47,223 --> 00:18:49,035 No, I don't wanna cut the fucking cord. 473 00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:50,967 - You cut the fucking cord". - Is there a point? 474 00:18:50,969 --> 00:18:52,833 Is this going somewhere? 475 00:18:52,835 --> 00:18:56,421 You know what? It's a few years later, right? 476 00:18:56,423 --> 00:19:00,131 And you're still hanging on. 477 00:19:00,132 --> 00:19:03,334 Sometimes you... you make a big move 478 00:19:03,336 --> 00:19:05,132 because you think you're supposed to. 479 00:19:05,134 --> 00:19:06,689 And sometimes you make a big move 480 00:19:06,691 --> 00:19:09,611 because you're really ready to make a big move. 481 00:19:09,613 --> 00:19:12,321 But... you know. 482 00:19:13,970 --> 00:19:15,345 I'm always here. 483 00:19:17,527 --> 00:19:19,902 Thanks, Dad. 484 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,612 Because if, you know, if you did have 485 00:19:22,614 --> 00:19:24,219 that 500 to get my car out, that'd be... 486 00:19:24,221 --> 00:19:26,047 - Abso-fucking-lutely not. - That's all right. 487 00:19:26,048 --> 00:19:27,797 - That's all right. - Let's go. 488 00:19:27,798 --> 00:19:30,737 Hey, Dad and Grandma, come on in to the new room! 489 00:19:30,739 --> 00:19:31,833 (WALLY) Holy shit! 490 00:19:31,834 --> 00:19:34,846 - (LAUGHING) What happened here? - Wow! 491 00:19:34,848 --> 00:19:36,861 I can see the floor. 492 00:19:36,863 --> 00:19:39,615 We got a blue carpet and everything. Who knew? 493 00:19:39,617 --> 00:19:41,258 You knew it was blue. You knew it was blue, yeah. 494 00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,624 This is impressive, though. 495 00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:45,316 How many bags of like stuff did you throw out? 496 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,975 Turns out I didn't need to move out. 497 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,934 I just needed to clean up a little bit. 498 00:19:48,935 --> 00:19:51,297 And yes, I was a hoarder. 499 00:19:51,299 --> 00:19:52,396 I admit that. 500 00:19:52,398 --> 00:19:53,631 I looked myself in the mirror 501 00:19:53,633 --> 00:19:54,656 and I confronted it. 502 00:19:54,658 --> 00:19:56,143 Well, good for you. 503 00:19:56,144 --> 00:19:58,741 I mean, I'm telling ya, I support you 1,000%. 504 00:19:58,743 --> 00:20:00,615 Guess what I saved of the records, Dad. 505 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,827 - Actually, it was in my keep pile. - What is it? 506 00:20:04,683 --> 00:20:06,456 My Israel Kamakawiwo'ole C... 507 00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,522 My Israel Kamakawiwo'ole CD! 508 00:20:08,524 --> 00:20:10,680 Thanks, Ma. I've been looking for that. 509 00:20:10,682 --> 00:20:11,841 - (LAUGHS) - Excellent. 510 00:20:11,842 --> 00:20:13,190 You can have it. You can have it. 511 00:20:13,192 --> 00:20:15,303 I am so proud of you. 512 00:20:15,305 --> 00:20:16,664 Thanks, Grandma. 513 00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:18,021 Are you hungry? 514 00:20:18,023 --> 00:20:21,614 - I made some mapo doufu. - Oh, my favorite. 515 00:20:21,616 --> 00:20:23,060 Um, I'm good. 516 00:20:23,061 --> 00:20:25,304 I'm gonna stay in my new decluttered room. 517 00:20:25,306 --> 00:20:27,422 You know, Marie Kondo my place a little bit. 518 00:20:27,424 --> 00:20:29,941 Just hang out. Yeah. It's gonna be good. 519 00:20:29,943 --> 00:20:31,934 - Okay. - Oh. 520 00:20:33,077 --> 00:20:35,100 Thanks, Dad. 521 00:20:35,102 --> 00:20:36,141 ♪♪ 522 00:20:36,142 --> 00:20:38,434 I think those are my sheets. 523 00:20:38,435 --> 00:20:40,670 - I can't stand Marie Kondo. - Oh, that's right. 524 00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:42,962 (MAN SINGS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) 525 00:20:45,431 --> 00:20:48,830 Oh, yeah. Oh. 526 00:20:49,785 --> 00:20:51,808 (GRUNTING) I will never leave you. 527 00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:53,601 I love you. 528 00:20:53,602 --> 00:20:54,810 ♪♪ 529 00:21:18,781 --> 00:21:21,133 (MAN) Who the (BLEEP) is Awkwafina? 37224

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