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1
00:00:04,956 --> 00:00:06,498
Previously on Kidding...
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00:00:06,598 --> 00:00:07,799
Do you believe
you could turn back time?
3
00:00:07,879 --> 00:00:08,821
That's absurd.
4
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,062
I think we should fuck.
5
00:00:10,162 --> 00:00:11,464
I serve a higher
moral authority:
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00:00:11,564 --> 00:00:12,906
the children of Japan.
7
00:00:13,006 --> 00:00:13,907
Stop! Stop! Stop!
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00:00:14,007 --> 00:00:15,469
Yes! Yes!
9
00:00:15,569 --> 00:00:16,951
Scott is entitled
to half.
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00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,553
What is divorce?
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00:00:18,653 --> 00:00:20,556
Divorce is when
a husband and a wife
12
00:00:20,656 --> 00:00:22,518
decide they don't want to be
married to each other.
13
00:00:22,618 --> 00:00:24,561
See you at the bottom.
14
00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:58,904
Divorce is for the best.
15
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No!
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Please!
Please, no!
17
00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:08,820
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
18
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:11,296
You got divorced
on national television
19
00:02:11,396 --> 00:02:14,460
before an audience
of mostly children.
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00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,004
Now, do you still think
that was "for the best"?
21
00:02:20,087 --> 00:02:21,348
I do.
22
00:02:21,448 --> 00:02:23,992
Well, what about
the critics who argue
23
00:02:24,092 --> 00:02:27,516
that you singlehandedly
have broken up more homes
24
00:02:27,616 --> 00:02:30,320
than anyone
in the whole of humanity?
25
00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:31,842
Homes don't break.
26
00:02:31,942 --> 00:02:33,604
They change,
27
00:02:33,704 --> 00:02:34,925
like people,
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00:02:35,025 --> 00:02:36,888
which I truly believe
is for the best.
29
00:02:36,988 --> 00:02:39,051
But what about what happened
in the Philippines?
30
00:02:39,151 --> 00:02:40,252
Was that for the best?
31
00:02:40,352 --> 00:02:41,654
I'm sorry.
32
00:02:41,754 --> 00:02:42,855
What-what happened
in the Philippines?
33
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:45,018
You don't know what happened?
34
00:02:45,118 --> 00:02:47,121
Here.
Here, here.
35
00:02:48,963 --> 00:02:49,984
No!
36
00:02:50,084 --> 00:02:51,426
Please!
Please, no!
37
00:02:58,215 --> 00:03:00,037
I wasn't aware
of this incident.
38
00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:03,301
But do you feel responsible
for the death of Phil?
39
00:03:05,344 --> 00:03:06,365
What did you say?
40
00:03:06,465 --> 00:03:09,068
Excuse me one second.
41
00:03:11,832 --> 00:03:13,855
Do you feel responsible
42
00:03:13,955 --> 00:03:15,997
for the death
of Filipino Pickles?
43
00:03:26,210 --> 00:03:28,313
They threw him off a roof.
44
00:03:30,896 --> 00:03:33,279
He landed
on an ice cream vendor.
45
00:03:35,061 --> 00:03:37,925
Is the ice cream vendor okay?
46
00:03:38,025 --> 00:03:39,727
He may never walk again.
47
00:03:42,230 --> 00:03:44,854
So there's a chance
he could walk again?
48
00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:46,296
No.
49
00:03:50,401 --> 00:03:51,783
Where's the funeral?
50
00:03:53,605 --> 00:03:55,667
There isn't one.
51
00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:57,830
Philippines won't let
Ginoo Pickles' body
52
00:03:57,930 --> 00:03:59,953
be buried
on their soil, so...
53
00:04:01,935 --> 00:04:05,079
...they have
to bury him at sea.
54
00:04:12,989 --> 00:04:14,531
Now you want my advice?
55
00:04:14,631 --> 00:04:15,733
A man is dead...
56
00:04:15,833 --> 00:04:17,055
a man I hired!
57
00:04:17,155 --> 00:04:18,136
I didn't say "advice."
I said "read."
58
00:04:18,236 --> 00:04:19,177
I want your read.
59
00:04:19,277 --> 00:04:20,499
My read is, I was right
60
00:04:20,599 --> 00:04:22,461
about this listening doll,
61
00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:26,026
this death-threat-
receiving machine.
62
00:04:26,126 --> 00:04:27,388
Do you want to send a message?
63
00:04:27,488 --> 00:04:29,230
No, I do not!
64
00:04:29,330 --> 00:04:30,592
Calm down.
Have a seat.
65
00:04:30,692 --> 00:04:31,753
Where?
66
00:04:31,853 --> 00:04:33,555
There is nowhere to sit
67
00:04:33,655 --> 00:04:35,237
in this entire office.
68
00:04:35,337 --> 00:04:36,359
Nowhere.
69
00:04:36,459 --> 00:04:37,520
I thought I had one chair!
70
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:38,522
No!
71
00:04:38,622 --> 00:04:39,523
No chair.
72
00:04:39,623 --> 00:04:41,926
And look at this mess.
73
00:04:43,147 --> 00:04:45,050
Do you want a new iPhone
74
00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:47,373
but your money's all tied up
in your home?
75
00:04:47,473 --> 00:04:49,415
Then you need
a reverse mortgage.
76
00:04:49,515 --> 00:04:51,778
Trust me.
It's not a scam.
77
00:04:51,878 --> 00:04:55,143
Unlocking the hidden equity
in your home is Snaggle-rific.
78
00:04:55,243 --> 00:04:56,424
I'm Stacy Keach,
79
00:04:56,524 --> 00:04:58,667
and Snagglehorse is right.
80
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:00,710
Together, we're gonna take you
on a trail ride
81
00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:03,073
through the land
of fiscal empowerment.
82
00:05:03,173 --> 00:05:04,715
Plus, it's just common sense
83
00:05:04,815 --> 00:05:06,237
that anything in reverse
84
00:05:06,337 --> 00:05:08,980
is always twice as fun
as doing it the normal way.
85
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:14,607
The whores have stolen
the children, Deirdre,
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00:05:14,707 --> 00:05:15,889
on your watch.
87
00:05:15,989 --> 00:05:17,651
Fili-Pickles is dead.
88
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,493
And they're going
to bury him at sea
89
00:05:19,593 --> 00:05:21,216
like some
Pickle bin Laden.
90
00:05:21,316 --> 00:05:22,938
You want my advice?
91
00:05:23,038 --> 00:05:25,982
Do not let Jeff bury that man,
92
00:05:26,082 --> 00:05:29,426
and bring back
my leather couch.
93
00:05:29,526 --> 00:05:30,948
How do you nap?
94
00:05:31,048 --> 00:05:33,912
I don't nap, Dad!
95
00:05:34,012 --> 00:05:36,875
And it's not my fault
the Philippines
96
00:05:36,975 --> 00:05:40,480
enforce some militant brand
of Catholicism.
97
00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:42,162
The divorce is on you, though.
98
00:05:42,262 --> 00:05:44,245
Not blaming, just saying.
99
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,247
You do that a lot, you know.
100
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,249
What?
101
00:05:47,349 --> 00:05:48,610
Mistake an opportunity
102
00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:51,013
to be a good father
103
00:05:51,113 --> 00:05:53,456
with an occasion
to shame me.
104
00:05:53,556 --> 00:05:55,579
Every now and then,
just so you know,
105
00:05:55,679 --> 00:05:58,022
I could use
a thumbs-up from you,
106
00:05:58,122 --> 00:06:01,106
since we both know
that "Good job, Dee Dee,"
107
00:06:01,206 --> 00:06:02,628
is too hard to say.
108
00:06:02,728 --> 00:06:05,191
If you want to fix this,
109
00:06:05,291 --> 00:06:08,716
you have to think of Jeff
as a child.
110
00:06:08,816 --> 00:06:11,239
You have to discourage him.
111
00:06:11,339 --> 00:06:13,341
It's fine.
I know what to do.
112
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:20,791
I told my daughter
that Daddy and I
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00:06:20,871 --> 00:06:22,253
were just getting
a second house,
114
00:06:22,353 --> 00:06:24,255
but now she knows
it's divorce.
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00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:25,777
My mom
broke up with my dad
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00:06:25,877 --> 00:06:27,339
because of the song you sang.
117
00:06:27,439 --> 00:06:29,101
Wife waiting for me
when I get home.
118
00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:31,665
Ambushes me,
says Mr. Pickles is right.
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00:06:31,765 --> 00:06:33,387
She took everything
but this doll.
120
00:06:33,487 --> 00:06:35,149
You broke up my home, asshole.
121
00:06:35,249 --> 00:06:37,352
I'm gonna fuck you up so bad,
Pickles.
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00:06:48,986 --> 00:06:50,929
- Hi.
- Hey, pal.
123
00:06:51,029 --> 00:06:52,291
I think I left
my passport here.
124
00:06:52,391 --> 00:06:53,412
Ah!
125
00:06:53,512 --> 00:06:55,515
Finally going
on vacation, huh?
126
00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,098
I have to bury
a Filipino Pickle.
127
00:06:58,198 --> 00:06:59,300
Oh.
128
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,402
Well, that's, um...
129
00:07:02,483 --> 00:07:03,545
I'm glad you're here.
130
00:07:03,645 --> 00:07:05,748
Uh, question.
131
00:07:05,848 --> 00:07:08,792
Would you ever coinvest
in a breedable affenpinscher?
132
00:07:08,892 --> 00:07:12,076
They are reliable show dogs,
133
00:07:12,176 --> 00:07:15,961
loyal, curious,
famously amusing.
134
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,723
If that's an invite
to trot the circuit,
135
00:07:17,823 --> 00:07:18,964
I feel a team forming.
136
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,047
I support it.
137
00:07:21,147 --> 00:07:22,289
Hey, hey,
second question,
138
00:07:22,389 --> 00:07:24,091
unrelated,
equally important,
139
00:07:24,191 --> 00:07:26,374
if not more so.
140
00:07:26,474 --> 00:07:30,900
Uh, I'm taking Jill and Will
to Hersheypark this weekend.
141
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,064
'Cause I want
to propose to Jill.
142
00:07:34,164 --> 00:07:36,166
What do you think about that?
143
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,752
Um...
144
00:07:40,852 --> 00:07:43,876
I think...
145
00:07:43,976 --> 00:07:46,399
Does, uh, Will have
to be there to witness it?
146
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:47,841
I mean,
147
00:07:47,941 --> 00:07:49,083
I'd like him to be.
148
00:07:49,183 --> 00:07:50,685
Oh, sure.
149
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,772
This hug is complicated
150
00:07:56,872 --> 00:07:59,696
but...
151
00:07:59,796 --> 00:08:01,298
- genuine.
- Thank you, man.
152
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:04,382
Hey, I loved
the divorce episode.
153
00:08:04,482 --> 00:08:05,944
Thanks.
154
00:08:06,044 --> 00:08:08,067
I think it's what killed
the Filipino guy.
155
00:08:08,167 --> 00:08:10,169
Mm.
Can't win 'em all.
156
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:13,413
Liver brothers forever!
157
00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:24,287
Hersheypark this weekend, huh?
158
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:29,734
I need to get my passport.
159
00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:31,496
Hey, are you and Peter
160
00:08:31,596 --> 00:08:33,819
investing in a show hound?
161
00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:35,701
He has his heart set
on an affenpinscher.
162
00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:37,143
But little does he know
163
00:08:37,243 --> 00:08:39,106
that I have my hand
on the tail
164
00:08:39,206 --> 00:08:40,908
of a horse-haired schnauzer
named Wunderbar.
165
00:08:42,049 --> 00:08:43,311
Big, thick whiskers
166
00:08:43,411 --> 00:08:45,033
and a scrotum you could
wind your watch to.
167
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,156
You have a gift, you know?
168
00:08:47,256 --> 00:08:48,598
You tried to manslaughter him,
169
00:08:48,698 --> 00:08:50,200
and now you're going halfsies
on a schnauzer.
170
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:51,722
I mean, to be fair,
171
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:55,807
we haven't committed
totally to a breed.
172
00:08:55,907 --> 00:08:57,909
Great guy, Peter.
173
00:08:59,191 --> 00:09:01,194
I like him.
174
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,378
Enjoy the chocolate park.
175
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:05,579
I don't know if I can go.
176
00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:07,141
I'm supposed to work
a Sunday shift.
177
00:09:07,241 --> 00:09:08,543
Oh, no, no, no.
178
00:09:08,643 --> 00:09:10,826
You should
take the time off.
179
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:12,788
No one ever regrets a vacation.
180
00:09:12,888 --> 00:09:15,492
Passports are in that thing
in the closet.
181
00:09:17,254 --> 00:09:18,275
Wait, you know what?
182
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:19,357
I'll just grab 'em.
183
00:09:19,457 --> 00:09:21,279
The-the closet's a mess.
184
00:09:28,108 --> 00:09:29,209
- Everything okay?
- Yep!
185
00:09:29,309 --> 00:09:31,312
They are right here.
186
00:09:34,876 --> 00:09:36,458
Not gonna ask me
where I'm going?
187
00:09:36,558 --> 00:09:38,220
Jill,
can you spot me on the ladder?
188
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,542
Hopefully somewhere relaxing.
189
00:09:44,368 --> 00:09:45,349
Sorry.
190
00:09:45,449 --> 00:09:47,032
When my parents
are upset,
191
00:09:47,132 --> 00:09:49,274
they only speak Tagalog.
192
00:09:49,374 --> 00:09:51,437
What were they yelling about?
193
00:09:51,537 --> 00:09:53,239
I guess your dad
killed a guy?
194
00:09:53,339 --> 00:09:54,441
Hmm?
195
00:09:54,541 --> 00:09:56,543
Ooh, Will!
Win me some Skitties!
196
00:09:57,705 --> 00:09:59,487
Yeah, Will,
win her some Skitties.
197
00:09:59,587 --> 00:10:01,210
No, I'm okay.
198
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:02,571
I don't want this.
199
00:10:02,671 --> 00:10:04,374
They're Skittles,
not Skitties.
200
00:10:04,474 --> 00:10:05,575
My sorrys.
201
00:10:05,675 --> 00:10:07,017
Your what?
202
00:10:07,117 --> 00:10:08,939
If you guess how many
are in the "vahse"...
203
00:10:09,039 --> 00:10:10,621
- "Vayse."
- ...we get all the Skitties.
204
00:10:10,721 --> 00:10:12,724
Why do you want these?
205
00:10:13,805 --> 00:10:15,988
Hmm.
206
00:10:16,088 --> 00:10:18,591
I'm gonna say...
207
00:10:18,691 --> 00:10:22,236
if one Skittie occupies
a full cubic centimeter
208
00:10:22,336 --> 00:10:24,960
and the volume
of your Skittie container
209
00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:27,403
equals pi times the radius
times the height...
210
00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:29,726
6,765.
211
00:10:29,826 --> 00:10:33,610
6,765 Skittles.
212
00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:34,932
Just write that down.
213
00:10:35,032 --> 00:10:36,254
Enjoy.
214
00:10:36,354 --> 00:10:38,356
Taste the motherfucking
rainbow.
215
00:10:39,278 --> 00:10:40,499
Wait.
216
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,822
Are you sure
that's the number?
217
00:10:42,922 --> 00:10:44,945
Fuck you, Will.
218
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:45,986
Fuck you, Cassidy.
219
00:10:50,291 --> 00:10:52,294
I think I'm magic.
220
00:10:53,335 --> 00:10:54,957
Go on.
221
00:10:55,057 --> 00:10:57,401
So you know that old
library book I got
222
00:10:57,501 --> 00:11:00,044
on math and mysticism
and the universe?
223
00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:03,608
Well, when I saw my mom
hand my dad the divorce papers,
224
00:11:03,708 --> 00:11:06,172
I, uh-I read about
how to turn back time
225
00:11:06,272 --> 00:11:07,854
so they'd get back together.
226
00:11:07,954 --> 00:11:09,576
Uh, are you guys
drinking drugs?
227
00:11:09,676 --> 00:11:11,418
We're having high tea.
228
00:11:11,518 --> 00:11:12,980
Long live the queen.
229
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,023
I think what I did
is really working.
230
00:11:15,123 --> 00:11:17,586
This is a beautiful effort
on your part,
231
00:11:17,686 --> 00:11:20,229
but your dad got divorced
on national TV.
232
00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:22,793
That doesn't matter.
233
00:11:22,893 --> 00:11:25,636
My parents are still
technically single.
234
00:11:25,736 --> 00:11:27,479
I know it's hard
to accept, bud, but...
235
00:11:27,579 --> 00:11:29,601
10946.
236
00:11:29,701 --> 00:11:32,124
That was the address
of the kid who had Phil's eyes.
237
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:36,089
6,765 was the number
of Skittles in the vase.
238
00:11:36,189 --> 00:11:38,292
This can't just be
a coincidence.
239
00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:40,135
This is the universe talking.
240
00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:42,377
No, this is coincidence.
241
00:11:42,477 --> 00:11:45,061
Plus, those dates
are going forward in time,
242
00:11:45,161 --> 00:11:46,342
not backwards.
243
00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:48,025
If you're looking
for a sign from God,
244
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,747
those numbers
would need to indicate
245
00:11:49,847 --> 00:11:51,429
reverse temporal momentum.
246
00:11:51,529 --> 00:11:53,531
I disagree.
247
00:12:06,908 --> 00:12:08,931
See, the numbers do go down
248
00:12:09,031 --> 00:12:12,095
when you treat them
as numbers, not dates.
249
00:12:12,195 --> 00:12:14,218
I'm confident Will
is turning back time.
250
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:16,100
Please, explain more.
251
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,982
These numbers, fellow dudes,
252
00:12:18,082 --> 00:12:19,584
are a Fibonacci sequence.
253
00:12:19,684 --> 00:12:21,227
What's that?
254
00:12:21,327 --> 00:12:23,870
Fibonacci numbers are
the magic numbers in nature
255
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:25,712
that determine
the order of everything,
256
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:29,397
from flower petals
to stripes on a tiger.
257
00:12:29,497 --> 00:12:30,678
They're God's numbers.
258
00:12:30,778 --> 00:12:34,283
And they're counting backwards.
259
00:12:34,383 --> 00:12:37,106
I mean, you asked God
to turn back time.
260
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:41,652
This is the countdown.
261
00:12:43,274 --> 00:12:44,296
You hacked space and time.
262
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,297
Whoa.
263
00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:46,458
Uh, Will?
264
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,900
Your dad is here
to pick you up.
265
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,182
It's working.
266
00:12:49,282 --> 00:12:51,024
He picks me up all the time.
267
00:12:51,124 --> 00:12:53,467
Will, we gotta go.
268
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:54,789
We gotta catch a plane.
269
00:12:54,889 --> 00:12:56,391
Where are we going?
270
00:12:56,491 --> 00:12:58,493
The middle
of the South China Sea.
271
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:18,198
Mom's wondering where I am.
272
00:13:20,121 --> 00:13:22,123
Tell her the truth.
273
00:13:27,610 --> 00:13:29,613
You have a pretty cool job.
274
00:13:32,737 --> 00:13:36,141
You know, one day, this could
be your pretty cool job.
275
00:13:37,262 --> 00:13:38,604
What do you mean?
276
00:13:38,704 --> 00:13:41,368
I've handpicked
three of the kindest,
277
00:13:41,468 --> 00:13:44,211
most selfless people
from all over the world,
278
00:13:44,311 --> 00:13:46,314
including Herr Gherkin
von Deutschland back there...
279
00:13:49,598 --> 00:13:53,303
...to protect and nourish
the world's children.
280
00:13:53,403 --> 00:13:54,785
Pickles are men and women
281
00:13:54,885 --> 00:13:57,268
selected for
their high moral caliber,
282
00:13:57,368 --> 00:13:59,110
a parliament of the righteous
283
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:01,353
who don't drink, use drugs,
284
00:14:01,453 --> 00:14:03,596
invoke bad
or discouraging language,
285
00:14:03,696 --> 00:14:04,998
and they don't have sex
286
00:14:05,098 --> 00:14:07,281
unless they're in
a loving relationship.
287
00:14:07,381 --> 00:14:08,402
Like priests?
288
00:14:08,502 --> 00:14:09,684
Yeah.
289
00:14:09,784 --> 00:14:11,786
But for children.
290
00:14:13,268 --> 00:14:15,371
I see that same
goodness in you.
291
00:14:15,471 --> 00:14:18,435
I see that potential
to shape the world.
292
00:14:19,997 --> 00:14:21,138
Thanks.
293
00:14:21,238 --> 00:14:23,141
No matter what happens
with your mom and I,
294
00:14:23,241 --> 00:14:25,023
I'll always be your father.
295
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:27,586
And you'll always be both
296
00:14:27,686 --> 00:14:29,689
a Piccirillo...
297
00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:32,873
...and, if you want...
298
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:33,994
a Pickles.
299
00:14:34,094 --> 00:14:36,097
We are a family.
300
00:14:38,059 --> 00:14:40,062
Welcome to that family.
301
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,569
Can Pickles
do magic tricks?
302
00:14:45,669 --> 00:14:47,571
You can be the first.
303
00:14:47,671 --> 00:14:48,933
Want me to tie that?
304
00:14:49,033 --> 00:14:51,036
I know how.
305
00:14:55,602 --> 00:14:57,844
Is that the crew
from 60 Minutes?
306
00:15:00,327 --> 00:15:01,469
They've seen him
at his worst.
307
00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:03,572
They should see him
at his best.
308
00:15:04,933 --> 00:15:07,316
I'm sorry
for what I said earlier.
309
00:15:07,416 --> 00:15:10,060
You're doing a better job
than I expected you to.
310
00:15:11,341 --> 00:15:13,344
Why do you have
to qualify that?
311
00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:07,653
See you at the bottom.
312
00:16:14,701 --> 00:16:17,245
We offer this prayer
for our dear loved one,
313
00:16:17,345 --> 00:16:18,687
Ginoo Pickles,
314
00:16:18,787 --> 00:16:23,252
who has left this world
and is returning to you.
315
00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:37,390
As we commit this man
to the sea,
316
00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:40,034
the water will fill
the barrel's bunghole...
317
00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:42,597
Yes, that's really
what it's called.
318
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,761
...and slowly sink
our beloved friend
319
00:16:45,861 --> 00:16:47,603
to his final resting place
320
00:16:47,703 --> 00:16:51,108
on the floor
of the sanctuary of the sea.
321
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,963
A devoted husband, father...
322
00:17:19,063 --> 00:17:21,366
Traitor.
323
00:17:21,466 --> 00:17:22,808
A devoted father...
324
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:23,689
Murderer.
325
00:17:23,789 --> 00:17:26,252
...and husband
326
00:17:26,352 --> 00:17:27,774
who acknowledged,
by the actions that he took...
327
00:17:27,874 --> 00:17:29,256
Uh-oh.
328
00:17:29,356 --> 00:17:30,537
What?
329
00:17:30,637 --> 00:17:32,059
I'll meet you
in the life raft.
330
00:17:32,159 --> 00:17:34,703
We have to get up
every day
331
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:35,704
and take a leap of faith.
332
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:36,785
Leap?
333
00:17:36,885 --> 00:17:38,187
He was thrown off a roof!
334
00:17:38,287 --> 00:17:40,110
Señor Pepinillo, please.
335
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:42,352
We are contractually obligated
to repeat what you say.
336
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:44,635
When you speak,
you are speaking for all of us.
337
00:17:44,735 --> 00:17:47,078
Will you not stop
until you get all of us killed?
338
00:17:47,178 --> 00:17:48,120
That's right!
339
00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:50,162
Smorgas Gurka,
that's not true.
340
00:17:50,262 --> 00:17:51,444
And you don't have
to honk like that.
341
00:17:53,586 --> 00:17:56,570
You don't mean that...
Chinese Pickles.
342
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:57,732
Uh, uh...
343
00:17:57,832 --> 00:17:59,094
I'm sorry.
I forgot your name.
344
00:17:59,194 --> 00:18:01,817
His sister
touched my brother's penis!
345
00:18:03,399 --> 00:18:05,061
Now he is missing.
346
00:18:05,161 --> 00:18:07,504
I don't even know
if he is alive.
347
00:18:07,604 --> 00:18:08,906
What?
No, I-I...
348
00:18:10,328 --> 00:18:11,669
All right, who did that?
349
00:18:11,769 --> 00:18:13,792
Who threw that?
Who threw that?
350
00:18:16,616 --> 00:18:19,039
We all have to take
a "calm me down" breath.
351
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,081
How about
a "go fuck yourself" breath?
352
00:18:23,064 --> 00:18:24,005
Stop!
353
00:18:24,105 --> 00:18:25,046
Stop!
354
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,289
Stop it!
355
00:18:33,717 --> 00:18:35,219
Shut up, kid.
356
00:18:35,319 --> 00:18:36,741
This is not who we are.
357
00:18:36,841 --> 00:18:38,263
This is not who we are!
358
00:18:39,404 --> 00:18:40,466
If you are not a Pickle,
359
00:18:40,566 --> 00:18:43,029
then I am not a Pickle.
360
00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,277
Señor Pepinillo,
por favor, no.
361
00:18:49,377 --> 00:18:50,919
Sí.
362
00:18:59,109 --> 00:19:00,651
Coward.
363
00:19:03,955 --> 00:19:05,958
Dad!
364
00:19:06,639 --> 00:19:07,860
- What do we do?
- Look!
365
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,903
I found a crate of vodka!
366
00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:12,146
Didn't you hear?
367
00:19:12,246 --> 00:19:13,307
Their god is dead,
368
00:19:13,407 --> 00:19:14,749
priests are thirsty,
369
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,112
and this ship is
about to dock in Gomorrah.
370
00:19:17,212 --> 00:19:18,955
No one can help us now.
371
00:19:21,778 --> 00:19:24,241
Vodka for everyone!
372
00:19:24,341 --> 00:19:26,084
No.
No.
373
00:19:35,395 --> 00:19:37,378
I'm sorry I brought you
on this trip.
374
00:19:37,478 --> 00:19:39,140
I'm not.
375
00:19:40,522 --> 00:19:42,524
I think I finally
killed somebody.
376
00:19:43,365 --> 00:19:44,547
No.
377
00:19:44,647 --> 00:19:46,269
You didn't do anything wrong.
378
00:19:46,369 --> 00:19:48,151
You told the truth,
379
00:19:48,251 --> 00:19:51,155
in song with puppets.
380
00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:52,677
Gravity killed him.
381
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:54,780
Thanks for saying that.
382
00:20:05,273 --> 00:20:07,936
Dad, I know how this
is going to sound, but...
383
00:20:08,036 --> 00:20:09,739
it's going to be okay.
384
00:20:09,839 --> 00:20:11,941
All of it.
385
00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:14,905
I think I know how I can put
everything back the way it was.
386
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,307
Mom's getting remarried.
387
00:20:16,407 --> 00:20:18,390
What?
388
00:20:18,490 --> 00:20:20,152
Peter is gonna propose.
389
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:21,874
Actually,
390
00:20:21,974 --> 00:20:23,977
it's probably happening
right now.
391
00:20:29,383 --> 00:20:31,126
No!
392
00:20:31,226 --> 00:20:33,969
Who wants to see a magic trick?
393
00:20:34,069 --> 00:20:35,611
I will now
394
00:20:35,711 --> 00:20:37,974
make this can of beer
395
00:20:38,074 --> 00:20:39,376
disappear.
396
00:20:41,599 --> 00:20:42,620
No!
397
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,022
No, no!
No!
398
00:20:44,122 --> 00:20:45,304
Inappropriate.
399
00:20:45,404 --> 00:20:46,385
Hey!
400
00:20:46,485 --> 00:20:47,667
No.
No drinking.
401
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:55,196
Look out below!
402
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,279
Ah!
403
00:20:57,379 --> 00:20:58,841
Pardonnez-moi.
404
00:20:58,941 --> 00:21:00,042
Peanuts do not go
to space, Deirdre.
405
00:21:00,142 --> 00:21:01,204
They are legumes.
406
00:21:01,304 --> 00:21:03,006
Oi, and Guitar Gary
407
00:21:03,106 --> 00:21:04,888
will never possess
the boundless joy
408
00:21:04,988 --> 00:21:08,052
nor the rough-and-tumble wit
of Ukulele Larry.
409
00:21:08,152 --> 00:21:09,694
We had to adapt.
410
00:21:09,794 --> 00:21:11,136
There was not a lot
we could do,
411
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:12,618
given the time constraints
412
00:21:12,718 --> 00:21:14,501
of a global
production schedule.
413
00:21:14,601 --> 00:21:15,502
Is called a prenup.
414
00:21:15,602 --> 00:21:16,904
It is not rocket science.
415
00:21:17,004 --> 00:21:18,385
And if it was rocket science,
416
00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,148
it would not be performed
by a legume!
417
00:21:20,248 --> 00:21:23,392
Legumes can perform
all sorts of tasks!
418
00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:25,514
Maybe if you had performed
a few more tasks,
419
00:21:25,614 --> 00:21:27,617
your husband
would not have left you.
420
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:30,200
Is this glue?
421
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:31,442
Are you gluing again?
422
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:32,844
It's sunscreen.
423
00:21:32,944 --> 00:21:34,045
So the rumors are true.
424
00:21:34,145 --> 00:21:35,247
She glues.
425
00:21:35,347 --> 00:21:36,528
We are a giraffe!
426
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,811
Fuck all of you!
427
00:21:40,994 --> 00:21:42,376
Fuck you!
428
00:21:47,923 --> 00:21:49,024
Is this waterproof?
429
00:21:49,124 --> 00:21:50,987
Uh, I don't know.
430
00:21:51,087 --> 00:21:52,469
- Hmm.
- That's a good question.
431
00:21:52,569 --> 00:21:54,571
Let me see.
432
00:21:58,897 --> 00:22:00,479
Anything else?
433
00:22:02,061 --> 00:22:03,442
Ugh.
434
00:22:03,542 --> 00:22:05,545
No.
435
00:22:05,986 --> 00:22:06,927
You're very cute.
436
00:22:07,027 --> 00:22:08,409
Thank you.
437
00:22:08,509 --> 00:22:10,331
I find you attractive as well.
438
00:22:10,431 --> 00:22:11,973
I'm sorry to hear about
what happened to your brother.
439
00:22:13,355 --> 00:22:16,018
We were close.
I miss him.
440
00:22:16,118 --> 00:22:18,501
He could puppet a horse
with his genitals.
441
00:22:18,601 --> 00:22:21,065
Maybe, uh, one day you, too,
442
00:22:21,165 --> 00:22:22,627
could puppet a horse
with your genitals.
443
00:22:22,727 --> 00:22:24,349
No, not me.
444
00:22:24,449 --> 00:22:26,552
I didn't even want this job.
445
00:22:26,652 --> 00:22:28,474
But the Japanese Pickle Code
446
00:22:28,574 --> 00:22:31,558
is a byzantine web
of obligation.
447
00:22:31,658 --> 00:22:33,240
If a Pickles-san goes missing,
448
00:22:33,340 --> 00:22:37,045
the next of kin
must assume the role.
449
00:22:37,145 --> 00:22:39,828
They dragged me out of bed
and put the tie on me!
450
00:22:41,070 --> 00:22:43,253
Is it true
that all Pickles-sans
451
00:22:43,353 --> 00:22:45,095
have to take
a vow of chastity?
452
00:22:45,195 --> 00:22:47,618
I took a vow of chastity?
453
00:22:47,718 --> 00:22:52,304
You know, my first time
in a vessel like this,
454
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:56,109
we rescued 2,000 children
off the coast of Saigon.
455
00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:58,112
Ooh.
A navy man.
456
00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:00,515
Sebastiano Piccirillo.
457
00:23:00,615 --> 00:23:02,277
I know we've met,
458
00:23:02,377 --> 00:23:05,921
but I like to watch my name
travel up a woman's spine.
459
00:23:06,021 --> 00:23:09,766
I'm sorry, but we were having
a flirtatious conversation.
460
00:23:09,866 --> 00:23:12,690
These hands once pushed
a helicopter into the sea.
461
00:23:12,790 --> 00:23:15,393
Imagine what they can do
to a female body.
462
00:23:17,756 --> 00:23:20,460
My name is Pickles-san.
463
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,943
You touched my brother's penis.
464
00:23:23,043 --> 00:23:24,305
Prepare to die.
465
00:23:25,606 --> 00:23:27,709
He did not give you consent!
466
00:23:27,809 --> 00:23:29,111
He wanted it!
467
00:23:29,211 --> 00:23:30,352
When are they getting married?
468
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,635
I don't know.
I don't know.
469
00:23:32,735 --> 00:23:35,038
So there's a chance you and mom
can still work things out?
470
00:23:35,138 --> 00:23:36,480
No, that was never
part of the plan.
471
00:23:36,580 --> 00:23:38,042
You two still love each other.
472
00:23:38,142 --> 00:23:39,244
I signed the papers.
473
00:23:39,344 --> 00:23:41,446
Those are just papers.
474
00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:44,050
If she marries someone else,
it's really over.
475
00:23:44,150 --> 00:23:45,892
It's really been over
for a while.
476
00:23:45,992 --> 00:23:47,854
Because you didn't try
hard enough.
477
00:23:47,954 --> 00:23:50,338
You should have been
trying to win her back.
478
00:23:50,438 --> 00:23:52,380
You should have been trying
to keep this family together.
479
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,341
I tried.
480
00:23:53,441 --> 00:23:54,703
I don't want you to try.
481
00:23:54,803 --> 00:23:56,625
I want you to fight!
482
00:23:56,725 --> 00:23:57,947
Hit him with your car again.
483
00:23:58,047 --> 00:23:59,109
No, you don't want that.
484
00:23:59,209 --> 00:24:00,230
Get away from me!
485
00:24:00,330 --> 00:24:01,392
Will!
486
00:24:01,492 --> 00:24:02,953
- It was all working!
- Will.
487
00:24:03,053 --> 00:24:04,395
Until today,
it was all working.
488
00:24:04,495 --> 00:24:05,837
Will.
489
00:24:14,067 --> 00:24:15,489
You raped my brother!
490
00:24:15,589 --> 00:24:16,931
He was a good man!
491
00:24:17,031 --> 00:24:19,074
He did not give you consent!
492
00:24:19,835 --> 00:24:21,297
Dad.
493
00:24:21,397 --> 00:24:22,198
- Dad, are you in there?
- Answer me.
494
00:24:22,278 --> 00:24:23,980
- Dad!
- Are you the Yakuza?
495
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,142
Answer me!
496
00:24:25,242 --> 00:24:27,224
Are you the Yakuza?
497
00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:39,580
Smorgas Gurka?
498
00:24:45,587 --> 00:24:47,710
Sucky-sucky boat-boat.
499
00:24:58,644 --> 00:25:00,226
What's wrong?
500
00:25:00,326 --> 00:25:03,250
She raped my brother
and ruined my life.
501
00:25:08,616 --> 00:25:09,718
What did you say?
502
00:25:09,818 --> 00:25:11,820
Nothing.
503
00:25:22,394 --> 00:25:24,657
Pull!
504
00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:27,220
Get away from me.
505
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,663
- No, please!
- Murderer!
506
00:25:29,763 --> 00:25:32,066
Murderer! Murderer!
507
00:25:32,166 --> 00:25:34,549
Murderer! Murderer!
508
00:25:34,649 --> 00:25:37,593
Murderer! Murderer!
Murderer!
509
00:25:37,693 --> 00:25:39,676
Murderer! Murderer!
510
00:25:39,776 --> 00:25:43,280
Murderer! Murderer! Murderer!
511
00:25:47,946 --> 00:25:50,209
Murderer! Murderer!
512
00:25:50,309 --> 00:25:53,013
Murderer! Murderer! Murderer!
513
00:25:53,113 --> 00:25:55,175
You killed the magic!
514
00:26:37,693 --> 00:26:42,693
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