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1
00:00:04,964 --> 00:00:06,346
Ooh!
Ooh...
2
00:00:06,446 --> 00:00:07,468
Previously
on Kidding...
3
00:00:07,568 --> 00:00:08,790
I think I killed Peter.
4
00:00:08,890 --> 00:00:10,511
Peter is in
critical condition.
5
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,113
When Jill comes back,
I'm gonna tell her everything.
6
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:13,636
Under no circumstances
7
00:00:13,736 --> 00:00:14,837
should you tell her.
8
00:00:14,937 --> 00:00:16,639
He needs a new liver
within two days
9
00:00:16,739 --> 00:00:18,281
or it will fail.
10
00:00:18,381 --> 00:00:20,525
I'm a universal donor.
Just say the word.
11
00:00:20,625 --> 00:00:22,446
- Why do you want to do this?
- Because it's important
12
00:00:22,546 --> 00:00:23,488
to do the right thing.
13
00:00:23,588 --> 00:00:25,771
Peter didn't walk
into traffic.
14
00:00:25,871 --> 00:00:27,693
I...
15
00:00:27,793 --> 00:00:29,796
fucked up.
16
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:33,981
That's a dick.
17
00:00:34,081 --> 00:00:36,144
Wait until
she puts on the shoes.
18
00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:39,068
Mm. Now it's a dick
wearing shoes.
19
00:00:39,168 --> 00:00:40,830
We have research that shows
20
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:42,993
that children
who enjoy this toy
21
00:00:43,093 --> 00:00:46,157
are 43% more likely
to eat their vegetables.
22
00:00:46,257 --> 00:00:47,880
Well,
my research shows
23
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:49,802
that children
who enjoy this toy
24
00:00:49,902 --> 00:00:54,368
are 43% more likely
to eat a dick.
25
00:00:54,468 --> 00:00:56,491
Jeff's Christmas tree
lighting speech
26
00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:58,413
was... a lot of things,
27
00:00:58,513 --> 00:01:00,937
but mainly,
it was a brilliant ad
28
00:01:01,037 --> 00:01:02,779
for Talk-To-Me Pickles.
29
00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:05,823
Every child in America
wanted that toy.
30
00:01:05,923 --> 00:01:08,066
But we can't rest
on our laurels.
31
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:11,710
To quote our best-selling
product: "I'm listening."
32
00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,234
Listening to the market demand
for a follow-up toy
33
00:01:14,334 --> 00:01:15,595
like Play-With-Me Pickles.
34
00:01:15,695 --> 00:01:17,518
I'm sorry,
but neither of you were here
35
00:01:17,618 --> 00:01:20,242
for the great Pickle Wiggler
fiasco of 1993.
36
00:01:20,342 --> 00:01:23,365
Picture that thing,
but vibrating and free,
37
00:01:23,465 --> 00:01:25,849
at the bottom of
a cereal box.
38
00:01:25,949 --> 00:01:28,412
No, you don't
want this on your hands
39
00:01:28,512 --> 00:01:30,615
or in theirs,
for that matter.
40
00:01:30,715 --> 00:01:32,718
Think of something else.
41
00:01:33,638 --> 00:01:35,581
Stop touching them together.
42
00:01:35,681 --> 00:01:37,224
- That's a good start.
- Look,
43
00:01:37,324 --> 00:01:39,225
we can put out
any toy you want,
44
00:01:39,325 --> 00:01:41,589
but we can't sell albums
if the band's not on tour.
45
00:01:41,689 --> 00:01:43,832
- That's the bigger issue.
- I promise you,
46
00:01:43,932 --> 00:01:46,795
Puppet Time will be back
on the air within six months.
47
00:01:46,895 --> 00:01:48,518
You have my word.
48
00:01:48,618 --> 00:01:50,401
That's probably another offer
49
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,603
coming through even as
we speak... excuse me.
50
00:01:52,703 --> 00:01:54,706
Yes?
51
00:01:57,509 --> 00:01:58,651
Jeff did what?
52
00:02:08,781 --> 00:02:13,781
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
53
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:30,773
When Phil died...
54
00:02:30,873 --> 00:02:33,556
did you donate his organs
to other people?
55
00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:36,960
No, we didn't.
56
00:02:38,082 --> 00:02:39,824
W-why not?
57
00:02:39,924 --> 00:02:42,267
You know how
your father is.
58
00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:44,350
Anyone whose life he touches
59
00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:46,833
becomes another member
of the family.
60
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,876
If we gave Phil's lungs
to someone,
61
00:02:48,976 --> 00:02:50,398
your dad'd just end up
62
00:02:50,498 --> 00:02:52,841
paying for that guy's kid
to go to college,
63
00:02:52,941 --> 00:02:54,683
painting his house.
64
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,606
I didn't want that.
65
00:02:56,706 --> 00:02:58,408
And on
the 12th day of Christmas,
66
00:02:58,508 --> 00:03:01,853
my true love gave to me
60% of his liver.
67
00:03:01,953 --> 00:03:04,255
For more on one gift that
certainly won't be returned
68
00:03:04,355 --> 00:03:06,358
this holiday season,
we go live to Saint...
69
00:03:08,682 --> 00:03:11,024
For what it's worth,
I told him to lie.
70
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,548
For what it's worth,
I wish he had.
71
00:03:15,490 --> 00:03:17,433
We'll be beginning
the procedure soon
72
00:03:17,533 --> 00:03:20,197
if you'd like to see your
husband beforehand.
73
00:03:20,297 --> 00:03:22,459
Or your boyfriend.
74
00:03:24,181 --> 00:03:26,084
I'll be back.
75
00:03:26,184 --> 00:03:27,886
Here.
76
00:03:27,986 --> 00:03:30,249
Twenty bucks... buy yourself
a soda or something.
77
00:03:30,349 --> 00:03:31,691
Have you ever thought
78
00:03:31,791 --> 00:03:34,094
that maybe
this is all your fault?
79
00:03:34,194 --> 00:03:36,898
For calling him a pussy
so many times?
80
00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:39,441
Not until you said
something.
81
00:03:41,243 --> 00:03:43,226
Which one do you think
is gonna die?
82
00:03:55,983 --> 00:03:57,444
If Peter wakes up,
83
00:03:57,544 --> 00:03:59,126
do you think
she'll talk to me again?
84
00:03:59,226 --> 00:04:01,410
Maybe.
85
00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:03,572
Through her lawyer.
86
00:04:03,672 --> 00:04:06,075
- Hmm.
- I'll talk to her.
87
00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,419
What are you gonna say?
88
00:04:09,519 --> 00:04:11,823
I'll make things right,
I promise.
89
00:04:11,923 --> 00:04:14,667
Jeff, I'm Dr. Labanc,
your surgeon for the procedure.
90
00:04:14,766 --> 00:04:16,148
- Hello.
- This is
91
00:04:16,248 --> 00:04:17,390
Dr. Gimple,
your anesthesiologist.
92
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,633
He's subbing in today
from County.
93
00:04:19,733 --> 00:04:22,036
Mr. Pickles, you can feel
anything at all...
94
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,398
except on my watch.
95
00:04:23,498 --> 00:04:25,000
Ah...
96
00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,683
Okay to wheel you in?
97
00:04:26,782 --> 00:04:27,803
Yes.
98
00:04:27,903 --> 00:04:29,366
De-liver me.
99
00:04:31,468 --> 00:04:33,010
I'll be here
when you wake up.
100
00:04:33,110 --> 00:04:34,772
Talk to her.
101
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:49,993
He looks so peaceful.
102
00:04:50,093 --> 00:04:52,395
Oh, he's in a lotta pain.
103
00:04:52,495 --> 00:04:54,558
Is there a particular
kind of music
104
00:04:54,658 --> 00:04:56,561
you'd like to have on
during the procedure?
105
00:04:56,661 --> 00:05:00,406
I'm partial to Brahms'
Hungarian Dance No. 2.
106
00:05:00,506 --> 00:05:04,651
You know, they say he composed
his best piece for the organ.
107
00:05:04,751 --> 00:05:06,794
But they never said
which organ.
108
00:05:09,116 --> 00:05:11,660
Is that a liver joke
or a penis joke?
109
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,224
Oh, it's both.
110
00:05:14,324 --> 00:05:16,386
Okay, Mr. Pickles,
111
00:05:16,486 --> 00:05:19,270
I need you to breathe in
through your nose.
112
00:05:19,370 --> 00:05:21,272
And count down
from ten for me.
113
00:05:22,694 --> 00:05:24,597
Ten...
114
00:05:24,697 --> 00:05:26,719
- nine...
- By the way,
115
00:05:26,819 --> 00:05:29,643
my son really enjoyed
your Christmas speech.
116
00:05:29,743 --> 00:05:33,087
- Hmm?
- I didn't much care for it.
117
00:05:33,187 --> 00:05:34,489
Wait...
118
00:05:34,589 --> 00:05:35,851
That's it.
119
00:05:35,951 --> 00:05:38,755
Breathe in.
Eight...
120
00:05:40,397 --> 00:05:42,460
seven...
121
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,823
six...
122
00:05:44,923 --> 00:05:47,106
five...
123
00:05:47,206 --> 00:05:50,391
four...
124
00:05:50,491 --> 00:05:52,753
- Three...
- How do I get back up?
125
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,197
- Two...
- How do I get back up?
126
00:05:55,297 --> 00:05:57,880
- One.
- How do I get back up?
127
00:05:59,382 --> 00:06:01,124
See you at the bottom.
128
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,607
Oh, God, there he is!
129
00:06:34,707 --> 00:06:36,530
Be quiet,
you foolish man!
130
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,632
Hello?
131
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,737
Secret Chef.
132
00:06:41,837 --> 00:06:43,299
Snagglehorse?
Is that you?
133
00:06:43,399 --> 00:06:45,301
Uhh! You...
You stay away from us!
134
00:06:45,401 --> 00:06:47,304
He's got a knife!
135
00:06:47,404 --> 00:06:49,827
He's going to murder us all,
like that handsome doctor!
136
00:06:49,927 --> 00:06:51,789
No, no, no!
It's just me.
137
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:54,233
Please come out.
138
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:57,517
I could never hurt you.
You're my best friends!
139
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:58,798
He doesn't have a knife.
140
00:06:58,898 --> 00:07:00,561
I was wrong about
the knife thing.
141
00:07:00,661 --> 00:07:02,284
Word of the day
in Pickle Barrel Falls
142
00:07:02,384 --> 00:07:03,805
is vehicular manslaughter!
143
00:07:03,905 --> 00:07:05,848
How do I get up the falls?
144
00:07:05,948 --> 00:07:07,690
Gettin' up the falls is easy.
You...
145
00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:09,973
Don't tell him!
It's a trick!
146
00:07:10,073 --> 00:07:11,896
I have to get back
to my family.
147
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,059
Oh, God, he's going to
kill his family!
148
00:07:14,159 --> 00:07:16,061
Don't kill your family,
Mr. Pickles.
149
00:07:16,161 --> 00:07:18,424
Please! I need to make it
right with them...
150
00:07:18,524 --> 00:07:20,347
so they're not scared
of me too.
151
00:07:20,447 --> 00:07:22,910
Maybe they ssshould be
ssscared of you.
152
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:26,395
You sssnow-plowed
an anesthesiologist!
153
00:07:26,495 --> 00:07:28,757
Wait!
154
00:07:28,857 --> 00:07:31,721
Your rocket... is that how
I get up the falls?
155
00:07:31,821 --> 00:07:33,523
Don't tell him!
If he gets out,
156
00:07:33,623 --> 00:07:35,286
he'll surely kill again!
157
00:07:35,386 --> 00:07:37,409
Please, Astronotter,
let me borrow your rocket.
158
00:07:37,509 --> 00:07:38,770
- No, no, no!
- Don't let him!
159
00:07:38,870 --> 00:07:40,652
He'll nuke us all to oblivion!
160
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:41,934
- Zzz, zzz!
- Wait!
161
00:07:42,034 --> 00:07:43,176
Ennui?
162
00:07:43,276 --> 00:07:44,537
Au revoir, cocksucker!
163
00:07:44,637 --> 00:07:45,899
Pardon my French!
164
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,104
Good-bye, cocksucker!
165
00:08:09,349 --> 00:08:10,932
"Dear Jeff and Deirdre,
166
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,175
I found a place
that makes me happy.
167
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:15,137
Love, Mom."
168
00:08:15,237 --> 00:08:16,459
What does it mean?
169
00:08:16,559 --> 00:08:17,821
It means she found
somewhere happy
170
00:08:17,921 --> 00:08:19,463
because
she wasn't happy here.
171
00:08:19,563 --> 00:08:21,385
It means she's never
coming back.
172
00:08:21,485 --> 00:08:22,787
That's not true.
173
00:08:22,887 --> 00:08:24,389
Moms never get to
have fun.
174
00:08:24,489 --> 00:08:26,672
That's why I'm never
going to have kids.
175
00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:28,594
I wanna see a place
that makes Mom so happy
176
00:08:28,694 --> 00:08:30,517
- she'd choose that over us.
- You don't get it!
177
00:08:30,617 --> 00:08:33,240
She'd have chosen anywhere
over us.
178
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,043
No.
179
00:08:35,143 --> 00:08:37,607
I don't think so.
180
00:08:37,707 --> 00:08:39,929
Must be wonderful there.
181
00:08:40,029 --> 00:08:42,032
Bet it's only a couple
days' walk.
182
00:08:43,874 --> 00:08:45,135
Idiot.
183
00:08:57,531 --> 00:08:58,753
Where's your brother?
184
00:08:58,853 --> 00:09:00,356
Niagara Falls.
185
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,838
What?
186
00:09:01,938 --> 00:09:02,798
Jeff!
187
00:09:02,898 --> 00:09:06,564
Jeffrey!
Jeffrey.
188
00:09:06,664 --> 00:09:09,086
Jeffrey, you need to come
home before it gets dark.
189
00:09:09,186 --> 00:09:10,969
Jeez!
190
00:09:11,069 --> 00:09:12,291
How do I get there?
191
00:09:12,391 --> 00:09:13,773
Where?
192
00:09:13,873 --> 00:09:15,455
Tell me how to get
to the falls...
193
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,897
or I'll shoot you
in the face!
194
00:09:16,997 --> 00:09:19,220
I see... it's all my fault,
isn't it?
195
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,382
- You made her leave!
- Your mom's a manic depressive
196
00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:24,226
who once fed you nothing
but ice cubes for three days.
197
00:09:24,326 --> 00:09:25,468
Come on, let's go.
198
00:09:25,568 --> 00:09:26,669
Ow!
199
00:09:26,769 --> 00:09:28,111
Ow...
200
00:09:28,211 --> 00:09:29,914
You could have
taken my eye out.
201
00:09:30,014 --> 00:09:31,716
- I wish I had!
- Get up, we're going home.
202
00:09:31,816 --> 00:09:33,798
Ow! Ohh...
203
00:09:33,898 --> 00:09:36,002
I hate you, I hate you!
204
00:09:36,102 --> 00:09:37,924
I don't want to live
with you ever again!
205
00:09:38,024 --> 00:09:39,486
Get it out, come on,
get it all out,
206
00:09:39,586 --> 00:09:42,330
because next time,
I'm hitting back.
207
00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:44,092
Uhh!
208
00:09:48,237 --> 00:09:50,381
Here, take my hand.
209
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,604
Take my hand,
and let's go home.
210
00:09:55,207 --> 00:09:56,508
Ohh!
211
00:09:56,608 --> 00:09:58,270
I'm going to the falls!
212
00:10:09,144 --> 00:10:10,927
Let's go home.
213
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,492
Aah!
214
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:21,260
This is the most beautiful
liver I've ever seen.
215
00:10:31,694 --> 00:10:34,857
Honestly, what do you think
his chances are?
216
00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:39,003
Flip a coin.
217
00:10:45,271 --> 00:10:46,893
Oh...
218
00:10:46,993 --> 00:10:48,816
Aaah!
219
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:51,379
Aaaah!
Oh, no!
220
00:10:51,479 --> 00:10:53,341
Oh... oh... ohhhhh!
221
00:10:53,441 --> 00:10:56,525
Aaah!
222
00:10:57,246 --> 00:10:58,668
Ohh...
223
00:10:58,768 --> 00:10:59,790
Peter?
224
00:11:01,773 --> 00:11:03,074
You...
225
00:11:03,174 --> 00:11:04,996
Hi.
226
00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:06,919
Welcome to
Pickle Barrow Fa...
227
00:11:07,019 --> 00:11:08,681
Oh! Oh!
228
00:11:08,781 --> 00:11:09,682
Ooh...
229
00:11:09,782 --> 00:11:11,405
How'd I get here?
230
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,887
Did we die?
231
00:11:12,987 --> 00:11:16,131
Oh, my God, is death
people flying in barrels
232
00:11:16,231 --> 00:11:17,973
and rockets
made from twigs?
233
00:11:18,073 --> 00:11:19,896
You mean Astronotter's
rocket?
234
00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:21,938
- What's an Astronotter?
- She's an otter
235
00:11:22,038 --> 00:11:24,061
who's always reaching
for the stars.
236
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,424
Have you
never seen my show?
237
00:11:26,524 --> 00:11:28,066
We're on your show?
238
00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:29,869
No, not the show.
239
00:11:29,969 --> 00:11:31,391
It's the land
the show takes place...
240
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,473
Eeh! Ow!
241
00:11:33,573 --> 00:11:35,556
- You feel that?
- Yes, it hurt!
242
00:11:35,656 --> 00:11:38,439
Oh, my God, this
anesthesiologist is terrible.
243
00:11:38,539 --> 00:11:40,001
He's subbing in for you
from County.
244
00:11:40,101 --> 00:11:41,684
Dr. Gimple?
I mean, I'm surprised
245
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,166
that we're not
both awake right now.
246
00:11:43,266 --> 00:11:44,647
Are you in any pain?
247
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,490
You exploded my liver
248
00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:49,134
with your PT Cruiser,
motherfucker!
249
00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:51,416
Please don't use
a bad word when...
250
00:11:51,516 --> 00:11:53,179
- Aah!
- Get him, Uncle Peter!
251
00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,581
I... don't... want...
252
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,422
to... fight you!
253
00:11:56,522 --> 00:11:58,946
Hey, fuck him up!
254
00:11:59,046 --> 00:12:00,228
Fuck you, bread bitch.
255
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:01,269
Uhh!
256
00:12:01,369 --> 00:12:04,313
The surgery is almost complete.
257
00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:07,077
Peter's body is accepting
Jeff's liver.
258
00:12:07,177 --> 00:12:09,560
We've run into some
complications with Jeff,
259
00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:12,364
but we think he'll be
out of the woods soon.
260
00:12:13,786 --> 00:12:16,088
I will let them know.
261
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,012
Wha...
262
00:12:19,112 --> 00:12:20,054
Aah!
263
00:12:20,154 --> 00:12:22,957
I wanna hit ya.
Something's wrong.
264
00:12:24,399 --> 00:12:26,481
Your body is accepting
my liver.
265
00:12:28,244 --> 00:12:30,627
My hands... I got...
266
00:12:30,727 --> 00:12:32,269
I can't... make
267
00:12:32,369 --> 00:12:35,594
♪ Fists ♪
268
00:12:35,694 --> 00:12:39,558
♪ Why am I singing
when I want to punch you? ♪
269
00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:41,561
Because I'm becoming
a part of you.
270
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:45,165
♪ Maybe I don't want you
to be a part of me ♪
271
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,971
♪ I want to be angry Peter ♪
272
00:12:49,071 --> 00:12:50,572
I think when you're mad,
it's important
273
00:12:50,672 --> 00:12:52,615
to put that mad into
something productive,
274
00:12:52,715 --> 00:12:54,698
like learning
a new dance step.
275
00:12:56,961 --> 00:12:59,464
Choreography's much more
interesting than violence
276
00:12:59,564 --> 00:13:02,188
- and twice as aerobic.
- ♪ See this is your problem ♪
277
00:13:02,287 --> 00:13:04,150
♪ You need to let your
feelings to the surface ♪
278
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,033
♪ You can't bottle them up
into advanced choreography ♪
279
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,836
♪ Or bad things happen
like you ♪
280
00:13:07,936 --> 00:13:11,280
♪ Hit people with cars ♪
281
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:12,762
Stop it!
282
00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:14,724
- Puppet music guy!
- Ow!
283
00:13:14,824 --> 00:13:16,726
No, Peter,
you have to accept me,
284
00:13:16,826 --> 00:13:18,729
- or you'll die.
- No, Jeff, you need to
285
00:13:18,829 --> 00:13:20,731
let it out, or you'll kill.
286
00:13:20,831 --> 00:13:22,254
♪ Don't squelch it,
don't squash it ♪
287
00:13:22,354 --> 00:13:23,736
♪ Contain or kibosh it ♪
288
00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:25,859
♪ Express it, exhale,
and expel it ♪
289
00:13:25,959 --> 00:13:27,460
♪ It's healing,
it's cleansing ♪
290
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:28,902
♪ So breathe deep
and then sing ♪
291
00:13:29,002 --> 00:13:30,905
♪ Or clamor or hammer
or yell it ♪
292
00:13:31,005 --> 00:13:33,348
Holy shit, I'm so good
at rhyming now.
293
00:13:33,448 --> 00:13:34,790
♪ You owe it to yourself ♪
294
00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:36,232
♪ Your pissed,
pent-up poor self ♪
295
00:13:36,332 --> 00:13:38,634
♪ To loosen your gasket
and spout ♪
296
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:41,398
♪ Go crazy, go ape shit,
unlock and untape shit ♪
297
00:13:41,498 --> 00:13:44,082
♪ And finally, for once,
let it out! ♪
298
00:13:44,181 --> 00:13:48,448
Jesus, is your vocabulary
stored in your liver?
299
00:13:48,548 --> 00:13:51,091
Calm down,
you furious flesh bags!
300
00:13:51,191 --> 00:13:53,534
Your anger
is bubbling my bog!
301
00:13:53,634 --> 00:13:56,417
Ah, quiet,
you linty piece of shit!
302
00:13:56,517 --> 00:13:58,180
Wait, wait, wait.
303
00:13:59,842 --> 00:14:01,665
The bog fuels the rocket!
304
00:14:01,765 --> 00:14:03,667
Yeah, no shit, fucktard!
305
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:06,391
Dig deep.
What's wounding you, friend?
306
00:14:06,491 --> 00:14:08,353
Spit it out, dipshit!
307
00:14:08,453 --> 00:14:10,516
♪ Okay well, statistically ♪
308
00:14:10,616 --> 00:14:12,038
♪ People sadistically ♪
309
00:14:12,138 --> 00:14:14,401
♪ Point and they laugh
at my hair ♪
310
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:17,285
♪ It's a choice of a 'do,
but that's for me, not you ♪
311
00:14:17,385 --> 00:14:19,448
♪ And why can't
a grown man just share ♪
312
00:14:19,548 --> 00:14:21,650
♪ His feelings without being
labeled a homosexual? ♪
313
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,214
♪ Jill loved my capacity
for gentle sagacity ♪
314
00:14:24,314 --> 00:14:26,977
♪ Jill ran her Jill hands
through that hair ♪
315
00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:29,701
♪ Then you stole my bride,
almost broke me inside ♪
316
00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:33,105
♪ But I can't let you die
because I can't NOT CARE! ♪
317
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,208
Wow.
That felt wonderful.
318
00:14:38,492 --> 00:14:41,156
♪ I trusted you, Peter,
to not just act sweeter ♪
319
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:43,880
♪ But smarter and better
with Will ♪
320
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:46,442
♪ To set good examples,
not offer me samples ♪
321
00:14:46,542 --> 00:14:48,325
♪ Of ganja...
drugs hurt and drugs kill ♪
322
00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,889
♪ Will's learning,
still growing ♪
323
00:14:51,989 --> 00:14:53,652
♪ And studies are showing ♪
324
00:14:53,752 --> 00:14:56,134
♪ Pot oopses
a teenager's brain ♪
325
00:14:56,234 --> 00:14:58,658
♪ Yet I'm full of animus
and so pusillanimous ♪
326
00:14:58,758 --> 00:15:01,022
♪ For driving you
out of my lane ♪
327
00:15:01,122 --> 00:15:03,144
Look, man,
it's working.
328
00:15:03,244 --> 00:15:04,666
Keep going.
We're gonna get outta here.
329
00:15:04,766 --> 00:15:06,108
♪ Dum di-di-dum,
dum di-di-dum ♪
330
00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:07,510
♪ Dum di-di-dum, dum
di-di-dum ♪
331
00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:08,991
♪ Dum di-di-dum,
dum di-di-dum ♪
332
00:15:09,091 --> 00:15:10,433
♪ Dum di-di-dum... ♪
333
00:15:10,533 --> 00:15:13,758
♪ Dum di-di... ♪
334
00:15:13,858 --> 00:15:15,480
♪ I'm angry at Vivian ♪♪ Let it out ♪
335
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:16,922
- ♪ For ruining Thanksgiving ♪
- ♪ Get it out ♪
336
00:15:17,022 --> 00:15:18,364
♪ I saved her,
and how'd she repay me? ♪
337
00:15:18,464 --> 00:15:19,646
♪ It'll make
the world safer ♪
338
00:15:19,746 --> 00:15:21,407
♪ Are all people greedy? ♪
339
00:15:21,507 --> 00:15:22,669
- ♪ Self-centered, mislead-y ♪
- ♪ We feel ♪
340
00:15:22,749 --> 00:15:24,251
♪ I act like I'm better,
well, yay, me ♪
341
00:15:24,351 --> 00:15:25,613
♪ With you behind
the wheel ♪
342
00:15:25,713 --> 00:15:26,934
♪ I hate my creator ♪
343
00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:28,376
♪ That villain, that traitor ♪
344
00:15:28,476 --> 00:15:30,940
♪ His negligence
makes me the angriest ♪
345
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,343
♪ Would it help if
I gave up a pancreas? ♪
346
00:15:33,443 --> 00:15:37,949
♪ God, I'm ♪
347
00:15:38,049 --> 00:15:39,391
♪ Good but I'm limited,
that's a dichotomy ♪
348
00:15:39,491 --> 00:15:40,672
♪ Gave a Lipinski
a bad tracheotomy ♪
349
00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:41,834
♪ Angry at God
and I'm angry at Jill ♪
350
00:15:41,934 --> 00:15:43,156
♪ She was driving the car ♪
351
00:15:43,256 --> 00:15:44,437
♪ It's her fault
we lost Phil ♪
352
00:15:54,711 --> 00:15:57,654
♪ I'm angry at me ♪
353
00:15:57,754 --> 00:16:02,100
♪ For thinking that ♪
354
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,784
♪ I hate that
I can't forgive her ♪
355
00:16:06,446 --> 00:16:08,828
Look, man.
356
00:16:08,928 --> 00:16:10,931
You did it.
357
00:16:11,372 --> 00:16:12,995
With teamwork.
358
00:16:13,095 --> 00:16:16,999
♪ Now, adios, Pickles ♪
359
00:16:17,099 --> 00:16:20,004
♪ I'm going to fuck
your wife ♪
360
00:16:20,103 --> 00:16:21,926
♪ With your ♪
361
00:16:22,026 --> 00:16:25,210
♪ Liver! ♪
362
00:16:25,310 --> 00:16:28,334
♪ Aaaaaah! ♪
363
00:16:32,519 --> 00:16:33,861
Oh!
364
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,125
Do you think we
could ask you a few questions
365
00:16:52,225 --> 00:16:53,567
about what happened
the other night?
366
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,009
I'm happy to help.
367
00:16:55,109 --> 00:16:57,011
What time did the incident
take place?
368
00:16:57,111 --> 00:16:59,735
About 9:30 p.m.
369
00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:01,537
Make and model
of the car?
370
00:17:01,637 --> 00:17:03,059
A 2006
371
00:17:03,159 --> 00:17:05,542
PT Cruiser with wood panels.
372
00:17:05,642 --> 00:17:07,104
Like a pickle barrel.
373
00:17:07,204 --> 00:17:08,786
Yeah.
374
00:17:08,886 --> 00:17:11,630
Sorry, I just put that
together.
375
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,953
And the PT
stands for Puppet Time.
376
00:17:14,052 --> 00:17:15,675
Holy shit.
377
00:17:15,775 --> 00:17:18,559
Yeah, when the model came out,
he had to have one.
378
00:17:18,659 --> 00:17:21,282
And what was Dr. Zeckhauser
doing in the street?
379
00:17:23,705 --> 00:17:26,088
I don't know.
380
00:17:26,188 --> 00:17:28,431
Just a few more
questions.
381
00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:32,016
Actually, no.
382
00:17:32,116 --> 00:17:33,698
Thanks for your time.
383
00:17:33,798 --> 00:17:35,381
Uh, unless there's anything
you'd like to add.
384
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,547
No, I guess not.
385
00:17:40,647 --> 00:17:42,630
It's a fantastic thing
your husband's doing.
386
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:44,071
Just fantastic.
387
00:17:53,504 --> 00:17:55,607
- Thank you for that.
- I feel sorry for him.
388
00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:57,208
It was only a matter of time
389
00:17:57,308 --> 00:17:58,530
before something
like this happened.
390
00:17:58,630 --> 00:18:00,734
No one could see this
coming.
391
00:18:00,834 --> 00:18:03,697
I could have circled it
on my motherfucking calendar.
392
00:18:03,797 --> 00:18:05,219
He feels awful
about what he did.
393
00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:07,102
He's gonna spend
the rest of his life
394
00:18:07,202 --> 00:18:08,383
making it up to you.
395
00:18:08,483 --> 00:18:09,865
My condolences.
396
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,868
I only met Peter
a few times,
397
00:18:11,968 --> 00:18:15,873
but I found him to be
a gentle, caring soul.
398
00:18:15,973 --> 00:18:17,275
He isn't dead.
399
00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:18,917
I'm sorry.
400
00:18:19,017 --> 00:18:21,039
I misread the room.
401
00:18:21,139 --> 00:18:23,683
How's the surgery going?
Good, I hope?
402
00:18:23,783 --> 00:18:25,566
We should talk about
403
00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:28,048
putting together a family
meal or something.
404
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,931
Not anytime soon,
just down the road
405
00:18:30,031 --> 00:18:32,454
when they're eating
solid food again.
406
00:18:32,554 --> 00:18:34,056
Please keep Jeff away
from me and my son.
407
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,380
- You don't mean that.
- You could have put him
408
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,702
in therapy, grief counseling.
409
00:18:37,802 --> 00:18:39,103
You could have
taken him off the air.
410
00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:40,545
You could have
loosened his tie!
411
00:18:40,645 --> 00:18:43,148
Would anyone like
a chocolate bar?
412
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:44,590
Maybe it was
hard on him
413
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:45,911
seeing you with someone
414
00:18:46,011 --> 00:18:47,834
so soon after
Phil's accident.
415
00:18:47,934 --> 00:18:49,437
What did you say?
416
00:18:49,537 --> 00:18:50,838
Plus, not doing drugs
417
00:18:50,938 --> 00:18:52,720
is a core value for him.
418
00:18:52,820 --> 00:18:55,204
You can see how Peter
smoking dope
419
00:18:55,304 --> 00:18:58,007
might have triggered
all of this, just...
420
00:18:58,107 --> 00:18:59,609
pot is illegal.
421
00:18:59,709 --> 00:19:01,292
I've seen you high!
422
00:19:01,392 --> 00:19:03,134
- What?
- Yeah, let's dump out
423
00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:05,257
your purse and see if you're
worth hitting like a deer!
424
00:19:05,357 --> 00:19:07,420
Don't blame her,
and don't blame the show.
425
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,462
I blame you, Seb.
426
00:19:09,562 --> 00:19:12,306
You could have helped him
anytime... anytime!
427
00:19:12,406 --> 00:19:15,189
Instead, you built
this trap for him.
428
00:19:15,289 --> 00:19:17,432
The show is a trap,
it's an endless loop
429
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:19,875
denying him his humanity.
430
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:22,759
Up the falls, down the falls,
up the falls, down the falls,
431
00:19:22,859 --> 00:19:24,962
up, down, up, down, up!
432
00:19:25,062 --> 00:19:27,605
You are a terrible father.
433
00:19:27,705 --> 00:19:30,049
Jeff was a special boy
434
00:19:30,149 --> 00:19:33,773
with a heart...
like Secretariat
435
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:36,017
and an imagination
I have protected
436
00:19:36,117 --> 00:19:39,461
through tragedy after tragedy.
437
00:19:39,561 --> 00:19:41,343
Everything I have done
for Jeff
438
00:19:41,443 --> 00:19:43,346
you would have done
for Will.
439
00:19:43,446 --> 00:19:45,629
Like cheat on his mom?
440
00:19:45,729 --> 00:19:48,272
There were times when you
could have tried harder.
441
00:19:48,372 --> 00:19:49,994
And you...
442
00:19:50,094 --> 00:19:51,156
always did favor him.
443
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,838
- A little.
- He needed it.
444
00:19:52,938 --> 00:19:54,681
You're fine.
445
00:19:54,781 --> 00:19:57,043
You have a beautiful
family.
446
00:19:57,143 --> 00:19:59,367
I'm getting divorced.
447
00:19:59,467 --> 00:20:01,490
What? Why?
448
00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:04,333
Scott's gay and...
449
00:20:04,433 --> 00:20:06,376
I slept with
Mr. Pickles-San.
450
00:20:08,237 --> 00:20:10,220
He took a vow of chastity!
451
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,984
I'm sorry you're
getting divorced, Deirdre.
452
00:20:13,084 --> 00:20:15,387
Oh, I suppose
that's my fault too?
453
00:20:15,487 --> 00:20:17,150
I'm fine, Dad.
454
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,552
Thanks for your concern.
455
00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:20,353
Look, I don't have to
defend myself.
456
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,958
I was a good mom.
I was a good dad.
457
00:20:24,058 --> 00:20:27,102
And I stayed, God damn it,
I stayed!
458
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,430
When Jeff wakes up,
tell him...
459
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:38,697
Actually, I don't care.
460
00:20:41,761 --> 00:20:43,464
Why's Grandpa crying?
461
00:20:43,564 --> 00:20:45,606
- Where have you been?
- Here's your money back.
462
00:20:47,689 --> 00:20:49,432
Where did all this
come from?
463
00:20:49,532 --> 00:20:51,033
Bodies.
464
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,755
Is that pasta?
465
00:20:52,855 --> 00:20:55,239
No, it's water,
and over here
466
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:58,162
is the canyon where it rains
nothing but confetti
467
00:20:58,262 --> 00:21:00,325
because it is
such a happy place.
468
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:03,930
And this is a tower made
from the best desserts,
469
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,893
so you can eat as you
climb up if you need a snack.
470
00:21:05,993 --> 00:21:08,335
Isn't it a wonderful
place?
471
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:10,979
This is why I stayed.
472
00:21:11,079 --> 00:21:13,623
But maybe one day
you can meet me here
473
00:21:13,723 --> 00:21:15,384
and see it for yourselves.
474
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:17,107
I do miss my children.
475
00:21:17,207 --> 00:21:21,112
You just have to figure out
how to get down the waterfall.
476
00:21:21,212 --> 00:21:23,676
That's the only part
I can't figure out.
477
00:21:23,776 --> 00:21:26,038
How do I get down?
478
00:21:30,945 --> 00:21:34,169
Oops. I guess
we're stuck down here.
479
00:21:34,269 --> 00:21:36,492
Maybe down is where we belong.
480
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,657
Hey, little guy.
481
00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,820
You look like
you could use a hand.
482
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,622
How do I get up,
Hopscotch?
483
00:21:44,722 --> 00:21:48,668
Silly Jeff, you know how you
get back up to the waterfall.
484
00:21:48,768 --> 00:21:50,470
- I do?
- Of course.
485
00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:53,955
I put you in my hand and bring
you back up to the top.
486
00:21:54,055 --> 00:21:57,038
It's been that way since the
first time you came down here.
487
00:21:57,138 --> 00:22:00,103
Go on, grab a seat.
488
00:22:07,272 --> 00:22:09,655
Thanks for the lift,
big guy.
489
00:22:20,208 --> 00:22:22,571
I don't think I could have
done it without you.
490
00:22:24,534 --> 00:22:27,958
Well, I feel
the same way about you, Jeff.
491
00:22:28,058 --> 00:22:30,502
Do you remember
when we first met?
492
00:22:33,265 --> 00:22:37,571
♪ I was a sad
and lonely sasquatch ♪
493
00:22:37,670 --> 00:22:41,857
♪ I had no home,
nowhere to be ♪
494
00:22:41,957 --> 00:22:46,102
♪ You took me in,
and then you changed that ♪
495
00:22:46,202 --> 00:22:50,467
♪ You built a place for me ♪
496
00:22:50,567 --> 00:22:54,593
♪ You hung the sky
that I could stand in ♪
497
00:22:54,693 --> 00:22:59,079
♪ You dreamed the canyon
tree by tree ♪
498
00:22:59,179 --> 00:23:03,604
♪ You built a place
that makes me happy ♪
499
00:23:03,704 --> 00:23:07,849
♪ You built the place
for me ♪
500
00:23:07,949 --> 00:23:11,495
♪ I was tall as grownups are ♪
501
00:23:11,595 --> 00:23:16,421
♪ And scared of getting
taller ♪
502
00:23:16,521 --> 00:23:19,945
♪ You showed me fears
all are ♪
503
00:23:20,045 --> 00:23:23,270
♪ Pretend ♪
504
00:23:23,370 --> 00:23:25,353
♪ Thank you, Jeff ♪
505
00:23:25,453 --> 00:23:29,318
♪ Thank you,
friend ♪
506
00:23:29,418 --> 00:23:33,523
♪ Home is a place
where people matter ♪
507
00:23:33,623 --> 00:23:37,529
♪ Home is a place
for family ♪
508
00:23:37,628 --> 00:23:39,491
♪ You built my home ♪
509
00:23:39,591 --> 00:23:42,815
♪ And that's what matters ♪
510
00:23:42,915 --> 00:23:47,061
♪ You built a place for me ♪
511
00:24:07,626 --> 00:24:09,930
I can get you
down the waterfall.
512
00:24:10,030 --> 00:24:11,572
How?
513
00:24:11,672 --> 00:24:13,574
In this pickle barrel,
of course.
514
00:24:13,674 --> 00:24:16,539
Now, falls can be risky.
515
00:24:16,639 --> 00:24:19,303
Here... be careful.
516
00:24:22,366 --> 00:24:26,631
♪ You built a place
for me ♪
517
00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:31,478
♪ Where I was happy ♪
518
00:24:37,266 --> 00:24:43,873
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
519
00:24:46,397 --> 00:24:48,540
♪ Up goes the barrel ♪
520
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,464
♪ Jeff feels anxious ♪
521
00:24:51,564 --> 00:24:54,067
♪ Down goes the barrel ♪
522
00:24:54,167 --> 00:24:57,551
♪ Jeff feels free ♪
523
00:24:57,651 --> 00:24:59,634
♪ Jeff has a feeling ♪
524
00:24:59,734 --> 00:25:03,359
♪ Dad says hide it ♪
525
00:25:03,459 --> 00:25:07,365
♪ He built a cage, I see ♪
526
00:25:07,465 --> 00:25:09,767
♪ Somehow I've got to ♪
527
00:25:09,867 --> 00:25:12,491
♪ Break the cycle ♪
528
00:25:12,591 --> 00:25:17,818
♪ I know the lock,
I'll forge the key ♪
529
00:25:17,918 --> 00:25:22,744
♪ I will be more than
two dimensions ♪
530
00:25:22,844 --> 00:25:24,847
♪ I'll get there ♪
531
00:25:27,931 --> 00:25:30,154
♪ Wait ♪
532
00:25:30,254 --> 00:25:36,242
♪ For me ♪
533
00:26:06,821 --> 00:26:09,124
Welcome back, my boy.
534
00:26:09,224 --> 00:26:11,768
You're gonna be
just fine.
535
00:26:11,868 --> 00:26:15,332
They told me to feed you
ice chips for three days,
536
00:26:15,432 --> 00:26:18,216
but we both know
I'm not doin' that.
537
00:26:20,558 --> 00:26:22,021
Remember these?
538
00:26:22,121 --> 00:26:23,503
- Ha.
- Turns out,
539
00:26:23,603 --> 00:26:25,605
they're not so easy
to find anymore.
540
00:26:26,566 --> 00:26:28,189
Dad.
541
00:26:28,289 --> 00:26:29,591
I'm here.
542
00:26:29,691 --> 00:26:33,075
What do you need?
543
00:26:33,175 --> 00:26:36,079
You're fired.
544
00:27:20,626 --> 00:27:25,626
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