All language subtitles for Two Smart People (1946) tr

Fine art of cookery.

A lot of good recipes?

'Best in the world.'

You want this wrapped?

'Ah, no. Don't bother.'

'I like to have it handy to browse through at odd moments.

'My fondest regards to your dear wife. '

She will be young again for a full hour.

Good night, friend.

Good night.

- Ace.
- Huh?

Take care of yourself, sir.

I'll try to.

Oh, yes, Mr. Connors.
Please, this way.

Excuse me.

- Has Mr. Chadwick arrived?
- Not yet.

- I'll bring him.
- Thank you.

Ah, good evening, Mr. Connors.

Hello, Fred.

Mm-hmm.

- Mm. Excellent, Fred.
- Thank you.

Except that it needs,with your permission

just a touch of saffron.

Aha.

Ladies.

Isn't there some mistake?

'No, Mr. Connors.'

'The young lady asked for your table.'

Oh, of course.
How stupid of me.

I didn't recognize you in that new hairdo.

Naturally, since we've never met.

But I knew we'd meet somewhere the moment I laid eyes on you.

Do you read tea leaves too?

I do much better with olives.

A dry martini, Sir?

- Two dry martinis.
- Yes, Sir.

I, uh, like this,but I have a guest coming.

It might be embarrassing if I had to introduce you as darling.

What's your name?

Ricki Woodner.

Mr. Chadwick asked me to meet him here.

Miss or Mrs. Woodner?

Miss.

Oh, "The Fine Art of Cookery."

Having servant trouble, Mr. Connors?

No. Just a hobby of mine.

Do you happen to know his recipe for ortolans?

Sauté a number of large plums.

On each plum, place an ortolan wrapped in grape leaves.

Bake for five minutes and serve.

But the plums are not to be eaten.

- They're merely served..
- As a garnish.

...for the ortolans.

What are you two talking about?

And what in the world are ortolans?

Like turkeys.
Only this big.

Hello, Mr. Chadwick.

- Hello.
- Well, hello.

We've just discovered we're soul mates.

Oh.

Dwight, who is this wonderful Mr. Connors?

I didn't know he was a cook.
I thought he was an oil man.

Olive or banana?

- Lubricating.
- Ha-ha, ha-ha.

- Bring me scotch, will you?
- Yes, Sir.

Go ahead, Connors.
Tell her about the deal.

Why surely, you wouldn't be interested?

Oh, but I would.

I have an option on eight miles of quite beautiful swamps.

'Swamps?'

With millions of gallons of oil just begging to be taken out.

Oil out of swamps? Wouldn't that be a bit difficult?

Not at all. Same principle as underseas drilling.

You sink a well here drain the oil off the property there.

Slant drilling.

Oh, sometimes called crooked drilling.

Ha ha.

'My option expires in five days.'

I was fortunate enough to get an advance copy of this Petroline Incorporate report.

12,000 barrels a day, huh?

Well, that looks..

All you have to do is put up some of your bonds as collateral to make the option good.

'We stand to split a nice,cool million in five days.'

Understanding, of course,that I retain 51% interest.

Oh, definitely. Oh, that's absolutely understood.

Well, it sounds like a... very good deal to me.

Very good indeed.

We can talk more about it later.

Now, how about a little dinner?

But drilling for oil isn't such a good deal though, is it?

- Have you heard of Rockefeller?
- Ha ha, yeah.

Yes, but I knew my father a lot better.

He invested the family fortune in a couple of wells.

Then, when he lost the old homestead

we looked up the figures.

Would you believe it?

Eleven wild cat wells out of twelve are failures.

Isn't that amazing?

I-I, um, are you certain of that?

Well, I ought to be.

My father wanted it engraved on his tombstone but we talked him out of it.

Eleven out of twelve?

- That's right.
- That's alright.

Well, ah, Connors, perhaps on second thought

I should investigate this a little more thoroughly, huh?

Why don't we just forget it, Mr. Chadwick.

I don't mind keeping it all to myself.

- About that dinner--
- Oh, now, wait a minute.

It still may be a good deal.

'Well, if you believe in miracles..'

'No, I do not believe in miracles.'

Shall we just say that Dwight here isn't the speculative type?

'Yes. Why don't we say that, Connors?'

- 'And with no hard feelings.'
- Certainly not.

Shall we start with a little asparagus bisque?

Oh, I'd love to, but I forgot.

I promised Ricki to drop by her rooms and see some paintings.

Paintings?

But, of course, Miss Woodner,you're an artist.

These are part of the collection that belonged to my uncle.

As a matter of fact they're smuggled in from Europe,and I'm thinking of buying them.

By all means, let's stop and see the paintings.

Oh, I don't think you'd be very interested, Mr. Connors.

Oh, but I would, Miss Woodner.

Anything in oil.

'Mm-hmm.'

Mm-hmm.

Yes, sir.

N-now to me, that's a very interesting composition.

Certainly is.

And the handsome figure of a woman too.

My old sweetheart.

- Your what?
- Yes.

I visited her every afternoon one spring in Paris.

- When she hung in the Louvre.
- Oh, she, ha ha, the Louvre.

The Louvre?

I thought you said this came from Brussels.

Perhaps that was the year it was loaned to the French gallery.

Very likely.

That's odd.

Oh, what's the matter?

Well, nothing.
I must be mistaken.

About what?

I always thought the artist,Miranda, was left-handed.

These brush strokes are from right to left.

They are?

But then, I've forgotten.

And after all, how many artists are left-handed?

Ha ha. Well, I don't know.

Mr. Chadwick, Blue Dawn is one of the world's real treasures.

Yes, and a darn good investment too.

Oh, it's wonderful when you're lucky enough to get an authentic original.

Oh, yes. Well, a fellow's gotta be pretty careful too.

Yes. Reproductions are so clever these days 'even museums aren't sure when they have the real thing.'

'I take Blue Dawn.'

How many know of the artist's inscription on the back?

"To my beloved wife, Katushka."

- It has?
- Yes.

Well, I didn't know that.
Excuse me.

Hey, I don't see anything.
It isn't here.

Oh, it isn't?

Oh, just look in the lower left-hand corner.

Oh, the lower left hand.

'Hey!'

There's nothing on the back of this at all.

Why, this is just one of those, those reproductions.

- But a very fine one.
- Oh, that isn't the point.

She was going to have..
Say, I bet all these are fakes.

At least, you haven't bought them.

Well, I would've bought them if you hadn't..

Thank you very much.

Young lady, I want you to know that I could have you..

Oh, this is a lesson to me.

Oil paintings and..

...oil wells.
Thank you very much.

I think I'll stick to Magna Cola.

Young lady, misrepresentation is a practice--

I'm sorry that you're just leaving.

Yeah, well, I don't feel very well.

- Ah, no dinner then?
- No. I have no appetite.

It's a practice that shouldn't be practiced.

- Good night.
- And that goes for you too.

I know exactly how you feel.

How about dinner?

Thanks, but I seem to have lost my appetite too.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well..

...goodbye.

Oh.

Fairfield, 82240.

Freddy.

Why didn't you tell me the artist who painted Blue Dawn was left-handed?

No. I'm not crazy.

Let me tell you just how perfect it is.

Didn't you know it was supposed to have an inscription from the painter to his beloved wife, Katushka?

Oh, he was?

And he never even had a wife?

Stick him up.

Aye. Oh, hi, Mr. Connors.
Telegram, sir.

- What does it say?
- Didn't you know? I can't read.

- For a higher education.
- Thank you, sir.

Come in, Fly.

Don't stand out there in the draft.

'Come in. Close the door.'

Don't worry. It's the house detective's night off.

Pretty nice layout you've got here.

So glad you like it.
Won't you sit down?

No. Thank you.

'Do you want a drink?'

I want my share, Connors.

Half of 500 grand.

Let's understand this,Mr. Feletti.

You had something on hook that was too big to land so you came to me and were happy to sell out for $10,000

because to your unimaginative little brain the whole deal wasn't worth more than 20.

- You don't have a cent coming.
- You've got a bad memory, Ace.

Not bad enough.
I can't seem to forget you.

You do forget.

I know people who are interested in those bonds.

You wouldn't be thinking of squealing, would you, Fly?

I might be.
It's up to you.

It's very unethical.
Get out.

'I'm not getting out, and I'm not kidding.'

I don't doubt that you're stupid enough to use that.

But may I point out that I'd be of no possible good to you dead.

You can never get the bonds then, Mr. Feletti.

Neither could you, Mr. Connors.

You have a point there.

Well.

Hello, Ace.

Hello, Bob.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I was butting in.

Not at all, Mr. Feletti,
Mr. Simms.

- Mr. Simms' from New York.
- Hello.

Mr. Feletti was just running along anyway.

Say, haven't we met
someplace before?

No, I don't think so.

Glad to know you.

I'll keep in touch with you, Connors.

Sure. I'm always glad to see an old friend.

Always.

- Drink?
- Ah, no, thanks.

Ha ha, sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.

Thanks.

Well..

...well, it's been a long chase, Connors.

Mm-hmm, certainly has.

You had fun?

I know a lot of other ways I'd rather spend my time.

Such as working on that place in the country you're always talking about.

Why is that every cop wants to end up on a chicken farm?

Well, green things growing shade, maybe a fishing stream nearby.

Anyway, it won't be long now.

This will probably be my last assignment.

As a matter of fact,it may be mine.

Yes.

Well, you've had a long run, Connors.

It's too bad you had to slip up.

Everybody has to slip up some time, and that was a nice deal..

So I understand.
Where you got it, now?

Right in this room,waiting for you to find it.

Hmm, I'll take a look around after I've booked you.

I'm sorry, Bob.

But you're not booking me.

What's the stall, Connors?
It better be good.

There's no stall.

Pardon me.

'Western Union, please.'

Take a wire to J.D. Staunton Republic Hotel, New York.

Deal entirely acceptable.

Will arrive on the 11th.

Regards.

Signed, Connors.

Thank you.

So you made a deal, ah?

Who wouldn't?

I'll get one to ten,be out in five.

At which time, I should have half a million dollars in bonds.

Which isn't a bad salary even for selling mailbags.

No.

Now, $100,000 a year.

That's more than a President gets.

Oh, I hadn't thought of it that way.

Assuming that you can hang on to the bonds.

Assuming that I have them to hang on to.

Assuming that you do.

Won't the surety company want their bonds back?

They can't hurt themselves.
I'm pleading guilty to taking them.

Not possessing them.

Hmm.

'Another?'

'Another.'

- Take it out of this.
- Yes, sir.

Thanks.

Hi, Ricki.

Long time, no see.

Just make yourself at home.

Thanks.

Glad to see you're doing okay.

You're looking well too,prettier than ever.

You know, bumping into you like this kinda gives me an idea.

I don't like it.

Whoever heard of not liking $500,000?

Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Here you are, a connoisseur in art, you might say.

And here I am, with a fortune.

In genuine US steel engravings right in my lap.

Don't let me detain you.

I like to drink alone.

Those private Treasury notes are right here in this hotel.

With one of the slickest conmen in the business operating as a Florida oil man.

500,000?

You could pick him up by just lifting a finger.

You could twist him around it like a pretzel.

He wouldn't have a chance.

And all you have to do is find out where he's keeping the gold certificates.

What do you say, beautiful?

I'd say it's a very wonderful bedtime story, Fly.

Good night.

Okay.

Hmm. Yeah. Sure.

Bye.

Well..

Well, looks like it's all on the up and up.

I mustn't arrest you unless I have to because nobody wants an extradition fight.

And yet, I'm responsible to see that you don't change your mind.

If you don't show up in New York by the 11th, I am the goat.

A policeman's lot is not a happy one.

You know I never thought I'd hear you talking seriously

about doing time.

Why not?

I've enjoyed you chasing me, Bob.

It's been fun but I'm kinda tired.

This way I come out with a clean slate.

Live like a king for as long as my nest egg will last.

All I want to do now or shall I straighten your hat for you.

What way is that?

By way of El Paso.
For some Spanish food.

And even a little fun.

Then New Orleans.
Oysters Magnifico.

Shrimps at Antoine's.
Crayfish biscuit, Galatoires.

Mardi Gras, more fun.

After that, Sing Sing can have me.

You expect me to let you do all those things?

I don't see what choice you got.

Oh, is that so? You've got a date in New York on the 11th.

That leaves you five short days.

I'll surrender to the DA on the 11th as arranged.

Before that,I'd like to have a whirl

I can remember for five long years.

And I'm going to have it.

Yeah.

Tell you what.

- Why don't you come with me?
- You darn right I will.

No, no, no. Not that way.

Not like some weary old watchdog.

We've got five whole days.
Let's really enjoy ourselves.

This is my last fling.

You said it might be your last assignment.

Why not give yourself something to remember too?

Yeah. Come with me as my guest.

I'll pay all your expenses,the best of everything.

We're traveling together for fun.

What do you say, Bob?

Ah, that's a very handsome offer, Ace, but I..

Suppose you decide to lose me somewhere along the line.

You know me enough to know my word is as good as--

Good as your bond.

I warn you... if you did try a fast one

I'd have to stop you, Ace.

Actually, Bob.
And if I have to be shot

I couldn't ask for it to be done by a nicer guy.

How about it?
Is it a deal?

Hmm.

Yeah, I guess so.

Huh, I..

What's the matter?

- Well, I can't believe it.
- What?

Well, I'm starting on a trip like this.

Then, you didn't expect to have me along.

Oh, yeah. Well, I figured on being the host, not the guest.

'All aboard.'

- 317. This is it.
- So glad to see you again.

Hi, Clarence.

- Right.
- Hi.

Here we are.

Gentlemen.

Leave that where I can get it.

- Yes, sir.
- And I'll take this.

Thank you, sir.

Wow, very comfortable.

Nothing but the best.

Uh-huh.

Uh, it locks.

You don't mind if we leave it open though.

- Not in the daytime, but--
- But what?

Well, if you don't mind my mentioning it, you do snore.

That's because of that champagne..

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Oh, I--
- I-I'm terribly sorry.

- That's quite alright.
- I almost missed the train.

You wanna put those down or shall I straighten your hat for you.

Oh.

Why, Mr. Connors.

What are you doing here?

Well, if it comes to that,what are you doing here?

Well, I'm going to New Orleans.

So am I.

Well, that's wonderful.

No, that's miraculous.

- Say, ah, excuse me?
- Oh.

While you two are talking

I'll take your bags to your room if you'd give me the number.

- It's an upper.
- That's the best you could do?

Well, yes. It was such short notice.

- I was lucky to get anything.
- That's too bad.

Wait a minute why couldn't we..

Oh, this is sort of embarrassing, but--

Why?

Well, with Mr. Connors having a drawing room

and me this compartment,both of us with all that room 'this poor lady has to sleep in an upper.'

'Doesn't seems right.'

Oh, I don't mind.

Oh, but we do. We do.

I think we ought to do something about it.

- Don't you, Ace?
- Me?

'After all, can see that you and the young lady are friends.'

Oh, ah, Mr. Simms, Miss Woodner.

We've met.

Yes, we have.

Well, I'm perfectly willing to let you have my compartment.

That is, of course,if you don't mind

my doubling up with you, Ace.

Oh, I-I couldn't.

Oh, but you must.
I insist.

We'll let you take over now.

We'll place you with a conductor later.

- Well, I--
- No arguments.

- It's all arranged.
- Oh.

- We insist.
- Sure.

- Oh, that's very nice of you.
- Oh no..

Thank you very much,I had no idea.

We are all happy now.
You ought to be very happy.

Ah..

And what about dinner?

Alright.

Got your appetite back?

I'm starved.

So am I.

Well, Ace, I've got to hand it to you.

I've never had food and service like this on any train.

It's magic, I haven't tasted as good Canard Sauvage.

- Is that what it's called?
- One of Savarin's best.

Ah, it's awful good.

Crème de menthe?
Cointreau? Brandy?

Well, I'll have some of the brandy.

- Me too.
- Brandy.

- Oh, this is too much.
- Ha ha.

- That is quite a valise.
- My own design.

- It is?
- Mm-hmm.

Seems to have everything.

Almost everything.

Oh, thanks.

Well, here's to crime.

To crime.

Oh, to... yeah, to crime.

What business are you in,
Mr. Simms?

Call him Bob.

Bob.

Oh, I dabble in a lot of things.

Right now, his main interest is in bonds.

- Oh, what kind of bonds?
- Government bonds mostly.

Nothing quite like the Missouris.

That's right.

- More brandy?
- Mm-mm.

No, I'm full up.

Well, I hope you two don't mind if I collapse.

Not at all,
make yourself comfortable.

Ricki and I are going for a walk.

Won't you come along, Bob?

Yes, why don't you?

There is a new moon tonight, Bob.

- I'll make a wish for you.
- Don't bother.

I will then.

Your Mr. Simms is very charming.

Yes, isn't he?

Could it be that you gentlemen are in some big deal together?

Quite a deal.

Oh.

Thank you.

I suppose he has quite a bit of money.

Not as much as he'd like to have.

And he cares nothing about art.

By the way, where did you get that name Katushka?

I had an aunt.

Aunt Katushka?

No, her cook.

She was divine. You should've tasted her apple stew.

- With cinnamon?
- Yeah, cinnamon.

No, nutmeg.

Alright, nutmeg.

Quite a coincidence we should both be on the same train.

Not so strange. Remember your friend, Pete, the bell boy?

The boy who couldn't read.

He could read very well upside down for five dollars.

That's how you got my reservation.

At the risk of being considered immodest would you mind telling me why you came?

Can't you guess?

I haven't stopped since you got on the train.

Our friend, Mr. Chadwick,behaved very badly.

Well, then, the trip isn't purely pleasure?

Not entirely.

You and I have a lot in common.

Larceny.

Two minds that work as much alike as ours belong together.

Instead of outsmarting each other we should combine our talents.

A merger?

- Strictly business.
- Strictly business.

'Hello.'

Did you make that wish for me?

- I forgot.
- I didn't.

- Well, goodnight.
- Goodnight.

'Goodnight.'

Say, you know something?
This book's a gold mine.

Do you know that nine outta ten dishes in here are made with either chicken or eggs?

That's amazing, isn't it?

Listen, chicken breaded, chicken broth, chicken with truffles

chicken casserole, chicken cutlet, chicken fricassee

chicken grenadine.

Chicken grilled, chicken supreme, chicken timbales.

Chicken a la reine.
It's roast.

Chicken bou-din..

chicken bodanza..

- Well, hello.
- Good morning.

'You finally woke up.'

You may not know,but there are 375 ways of preparing chicken and eggs.

I had to listen to everyone of them.

Where is our nice Mr. Simms now?

Well, he couldn't wait either.

It seems this was the only time the barber could take him.

- Behold.
- Truffles.

Always better than mushrooms.

They might have had foie gras how did you know they'd have truffles?

I was sure they wouldn't,so I brought some with me.

Oh, a man who carries his own truffles.

There is something else in there. What is it?

An improvement of my own.

Hmmm. What?

The barest drop of Madeira.

- Oh.
- Next time, you'll wait.

Next time, I shall.

I... there'll be a stop soon.
I wanna get my coat.

Why not tell the truth?

- What do you mean?
- I'm breaking your heart.

Oh, yeah... completely shattered.

- See you later.
- Mm-hmm.

Looking for something, Mr. Simms?

Yes, Ace said that he had some aspirins but he forgot to say where.

Here.

Thanks.

Got a headache?

Well, it's probably a little eye strain.

That's too bad.

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

That'll do it.
Ace left his suitcase open.

It isn't like him to be so thoughtless.

We'll have to speak to him about that.

- I much rather you wouldn't.
- Why not?

Well, he might not like my looking through his things.

Well, I thought you were old friends.

Oh, yes, we are, but he might think I was taking a look.

I don't quite follow you, Mr. Simms.

And I'll certainly tell him anything I like.

Oh, then, I'm afraid I'll have to insist.

- Insist?
- Yes.

You see, I'm with the New York Police.

Oh.

Not a big bond man, huh?

Well, yes, after a fashion.

You see, I get most of the big bond swindlers.

I'm sorry to have to tell you this.

You're friend is one of the biggest operators we've ever been after.

Does he know you're a detective?

Oh, yes.

But he's going back willingly so I promised to make the trip as pleasant as possible.

Back?

Sing Sing.

- Could I have one of those?
- Oh, yeah, sure. I'm sorry.

For long?

Five years, more or less.

What were you looking for in his luggage?

I was looking for the proceeds of his last job.

You see, we've got Connors, but we still haven't got the bonds.

So the bonds aren't here?

Well, if they are, I'll eat 'em.

That must be quite a disappointment to you.

No, only for the moment.

You sound very sure of yourself.

Not so sure of myself as I am of Connors.

Ace and I have been playing hide and seek for quite a while now.

It's given me a chance to know exactly what makes him tick.

Ace uses poise like some men would a gun.

It's his weapon or his shield.

He's made an art outta working it to the other fellows' disadvantage.

But you let him lose that poise even for a moment and his whole defense is shattered.

Now, I have four days and nearly 3000 miles yet.

I'll wait my chance.

You won't mind if I don't wish you luck?

Of course not.

So you haven't..

What?

'No, it was nothing.'

What?

I hope you're not getting to like him too much.

No, how could I?

I've only known him a couple of days.

'Hmm. He's an awfully easy guy to fall for.'

Yes.

Well, you're getting off at New Orleans day after tomorrow anyway, aren't you?

That's right.

How about that walk you didn't take last night?

Hmm, I'd like to.

I'll get my coat.

Here.

- Well, hi, Ace.
- Hello, kids.

How about a little stroll?
You don't mind, do you?

Oh, of course not.

Little exercise will do me good.

It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

Yes, so full of air.

Wonderful country.

So much of it.

Let's look at the pretty pottery and bead work.

Can I interest you in some souvenirs?

Silver bracelet, perhaps?

Ah, no, thanks.
I never wear them.

They give me claustrophobia.

Ah, me too.

I'm gonna send a post card.

Ricki?

Ah, we get into New Orleans Monday, don't we?

Yes.

Why? Are you in a hurry to get to the end of the line?

To tell you the truth... no.

- Ricki--
- Oh, aren't these cute?

No trip complete without a souvenir of Arizona, madam.

Allow me.

Thank you, Ace.
It's darling.

'All aboard.'

- Bob.
- Yeah, mail that, will ya?

Thank you.

Ricki, could you afford 24 hours in El Paso?

I don't know.
What would I do with them?

Spend a day that you'll never forget.

- That's all?
- That's a lot.

A day to remember for the rest of our lives.

- Are you considering it?
- I'm considering Ricki.

What do you mean?

I'm just considering what happens to Ricki after that beautiful day.

There isn't any "after" for people like us, Ricki.

We're a special kind of breed.

We were born when the clock stopped.

No yesterdays, no tomorrows.

"Make hay while the sun shines," as your aunt would say, huh?

What's happened to you?

When you followed me on this train, easy come-easy go like and I asked you the reason,you gave me a very good one.

We both have larceny in common.

- We still have.
- Good.

I'd be embarrassed to find that you're an honest woman.

I'm embarrassed to find I'm a woman.

I don't wanna bother you, Mr. Connors, but..

...something new has been added.

Why, Miss Woodner... I'm sure it's just a passing fancy.

It could be.

Ricki, look, there's a place I found once years ago

an old Spanish inn.

Like something out of a fairy tale.

Palm trees, walls dripping with bougainvillea

patios with fountains and humming birds and a name to make poems out of.

The Inn of the Four Winds.

What do you say, Ricki?

You're very dangerous for me, Mr. Connors.

To the Inn of the Four Winds?

Pretty sure you can just walk away from this, aren't you?

- You might change too.
- To the Inn of the Four Winds?

If I had any sense,I'd get out now.

You can take it. Or not.
It's up to you.

But I've got a hunch
you will take it.

Listen, wiseguy.

I'll take it.

See what I mean?

Oh, yes, Ace.
It's lovely.

Senor Ace, you did come back.

I said I would.
How are you, Jose?

Gracias, fine. Ynez Maria's expecting you.

And with such expectation.
You have come to stay this time?

Until tomorrow anyway.
Will you help with the luggage, Jose?

It's a pleasure, senor.

- Senor Ace.
- Senora Maria.

Senorita Woodner, Senor Simms,this is Senora Maria.

The loveliest lady south of the border.

One of my first sweethearts.

How do you do?

Any friends of Senor Ace are welcome here.

- Welcome to Mexico.
- Thank you.

Wait a minute.
What is this?

Welcome to Mexico.

You mean to say we've crossed the border.

Of course, when we came over the bridge. Didn't you notice?

Perhaps, he was too interested in that story you were telling.

Ah, yes.

Where do we stand right now, Ace?

- Where do we stand?
- Yeah.

At the Inn of the Four Winds cleaning up for dinner.

- In Mexico.
- Mm-hmm.

Would you hand me one of those towels please, Bob?

I didn't know that Mexico was on our schedule of stopovers.

Well, uh, that was a surprise.

You weren't deliberately distracting me when we crossed that bridge, were you?

Oh, but definitely.

What about that deal we made before we left California?

- The deal?
- Yes.

Oh, yes, I remember.

So I take it now that I'm the goat?

And all bets are off, huh?

Well, congratulations, Ace.
You ought to be proud of yourself.

I don't think I get you, Bob.

Well, then, I'll make it clear.

I never had you pegged as a double-crosser.

But you're at the head of the class.

This is way over my head.

As far as I'm concerned,we're in Mexico for a good time.

Think you're the goat?
Why don't you come here?

I can have Jose bring you a knife.

If you think you're gonna make a getaway from here..

...don't forget, I can still have the Mexican authorities pick you up and hold you for extradition.

- But you won't.
- I wouldn't bet on that.

I'm betting.

In the first place, they'll take a long time to extradite me if I wanted to be difficult about it.

Second place, it'll be curtains for you and your pension.

If you had to go crying to New York and say "He lured me over the border when I wasn't looking," they would fire you so fast, you'd think you've come out of a gun.

So until you're quite sure that I'm going to make a break you won't do a thing.

You know, uh, Mexicans are kind of fussy about foreigners flashing artillery without a license.

Just try and keep this out of sight or I might have to bail you out of the local hooska.

- Ricki.
- 'Hello out there.'

- How you doing?
- 'Fine.'

'I'll be with you in a second.'

'Hello.'

You're beautiful, Ricki.

Ace.

"Listen"

"I looked for a rose and found a garden"

"I looked for adventure and found love"

I don't want to shock you, Mr. Connors.

But you have changed.

It's the song.
That's it.

- Something new in you.
- Uh-uh, in you.

- Still no tomorrows, Ricki.
- Why not?

We'd be good for each other with larceny.

That would be easy.
I'll admit that.

But the joke will be on you.

- I can take a joke.
- This one wouldn't be funny.

Look, Ricki.

By instinct, by training,I believe in flying.

Whoever wants to fly with me, fine.

My philosophy is to get away fast and clean.

Maybe that's because I never ran into you.

What you're doing is shaking that philosophy and this happens to be a particularly bad time for me to discard my ideas.

Would you care to tell me why particularly?

I've trusted my life to no one but myself.

Trust it to me, Ace.

If it could be to anyone,it will be to you.

Right now, I want to kiss you.

Ace.

Ace. We know each other pretty well, don't we?

Yes.

'Almost everything about each other.'

Yes.

- No illusions.
- Many.

Thanks.

But your reason for asking me here.

My reason for coming...weren't very important.

'Maybe tomorrow, tonight won't seem important.'

But, Ace, we were pretty nice people tonight.

For all the larceny that's in us.

Are you very good at wishing, my darling?

Yes, I think so.

If it's something you wanted very much.

Then, wish that someday we'll come back here.

I did... quite a while ago.

Goodnight, my darling.

Goodnight.

Hi, Ricki.

You looked very pretty out there.

Now, don't say a word.

I know. The guy left town in a hurry.

You were lucky enough to find out where he was going.

'You didn't have time to let me know' 'but you were going to drop me a postcard.'

How did you find out where we were going?

Check up.
I always check up.

Especially on dames.

I almost lost you in El Paso, but here I am.

I see. Nice work.

Not as nice as yours.
I saw you out on the balcony.

I liked the way you put your heart into it.

Fly. Do one nice thing in your life.

Leave us alone.

I like that fella.

Well, Ricki Woodner, gone soft.

Now, who'd believe that.
Snap out of it beautiful.

Get that Mexican moonlight out of your eyes.

How long do you think that guy would be on the level with ya?

Connors, hasn't got the bonds on him.

You don't say.

I made a mistake about you.
You're not so smart after all.

Connors has got the bonds with him.

He took them out of a safety deposit box

the day before he left.

It would be very foolish of you to try to double-cross me again.

Oh-oh, I forgot to tell you.

I ran into a friend of yours the other day.

A fellow from Hot Springs.

He tells me they're anxious to see you back there about that hotel job.

It seems you left town before you did a little time for them.

They asked me to let them know if I... ever ran across you.

But you haven't got a thing to worry about.

As long as we're partners like I said.

And if you ever do get into any trouble, beautiful..

...I'll be around.

Senora. I'm in trouble.

You're in love.

What can I do, my friend?

Two things.

I've changed my plans.
I want to stay here for a few days.

Of course, but Senor Simms?

I thought you were in a hurry to New York.

He will get there when I'm good and ready.

Si.

One other thing, Senora.

You wish to leave her with me.

Take care of her.

Hello?

- Senor--
- 'Good morning.'

Good morning, good morning.
It's really a beautiful morning.

Oh, I beg your pardon.
This is Senor Rodriquez.

Mr. Connors.

I'm most glad to meet you,Senor Connors.

Oh, glad to meet you.

Oh, churros and chocolate.

Yes, Jose was just bringing them up.

Oh, thank you very much.

Oh, Senor Rodriquez,is uh... uh, connected with the Department of Animal Husbandry.

Oh, something
to do with horse-racing?

Only remotely.

- May I?
- Of course.

Uh, Senor Simms, informed me of your predicament.

- I came at once, of course.
- Yeah, of course.

Uh, won't you be seated, gentlemen?

Gracias, Senor.
For me, no. I stand.

- Oh. Well, may I?
- Of course.

As I was saying,a friend of Senor Simms..

...is a friend of mine.

Of course.

And a friend of mine shall not spend 30 days in quarantine if I, Angelo Danilo Rodriquez,can help it.

And fortunately... I can.

If, uh, I'm not being crude about it.

Could I know what the predicament is and what your friend of Mr. Simms is involved?

Of course. Article six,
rule 20, page 77.

Fruit, plant, vegetable..

Perhaps I'm a bit dense but..

Shall bring no fruit,plants, vegetable without proper inspection across the border.

Well, yes, but..

Trufells.

Truefells?

Truffles.

Si, trufells.

Only because of my friendship for Senor Simms and the great urgency of his friend to be in New York,an exception is being made.

'Senor Connors,my car is outside.'

'I'll accompany you to the bridge myself.'

'Just to make sure that there are no difficulties' about your being permitted to leave the country at once.

You're very kind, Senor.

I'll think it over.

On the other hand, gentlemen.
Why not leave now?

There's nothing here to keep me.

Well, it's beginning to be about time for lunch, eh?

Does that everyday.

After all, this is gonna be kind of tough gettin' back to hamburgers and hash.

Certainly is.

When do we reach New Orleans?

Tomorrow.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

- Hello, Ace.
- Hello, Ricki.

My aunt said it isn't etiquette for a lady to leave her shoes in a gentleman's suitcase.

The aunt with a cook named Katushka.

You cheated.

- So did you.
- How?

By not telling me you're on your way to Sing Sing.

How did you know?

Simms.

Well, that was friendly of him.

He couldn't help himself.

I caught him going through your bag.

Seems he was looking for some bonds.

You had the same idea.

Yes.

And where did you think,you'd find them?

I thought you'd tell me.

- Do you still want the bonds?
- Do you still have them?

And if I did, how would you expect to get them?

I don't know, yet.

Two smart people.

Well, anyway, we handed each other a lot of laughs.

To be honest, that's what I was lookin' for.

Only now, I..

'Now what?'

Now, I don't feel like laughing.

- That's funny.
- 'What?'

Neither do I.

There's only tomorrow.
Then you're goin' to New York.

And you?

It's etiquette to leave when the party is over.

I had an aunt who said that.

I've come to a conclusion about our aunts.

What's that?

They're are a couple of old fuddy-duddies who've never made distinction between theory and practice.

They never heard of, um..

...Mardi Gras.

'Lift me up.'

Hello?

- Hello?
- Hello?

Excuse me, I was watching the parade.

Mademoiselle. Gentlemen.

We want clothes.
Fantastic, fabulous clothes.

I have very little left now.

Ricki.

This was made for you.

Oh, it's lovely.

Oh, but... it is not for sale.

Oh.

- Not for anything.
- Oh, no, monsieur.

There is no price.

I..

That was my wife's.

Our only Mardi Gras together.

Oh.

Oh, I understand.

Come with me.

Ready, monsieur.

Mind your own business.

Ricki.

'Hey, I can't get into any of these clothes.'

Oh.

Try these for size.

Monsieur.

Monsieur. You take care of these for me.
I'll pick 'em up later.

Of course, Monsieur.

The final touch.

♪ Yo ho and a bottle of rum ♪

Now, uh..

- I understand.
- You see..

- Yes.
- Thank you very much.

And now..

Mademoiselle.

Lovely lady garmented in light from her own beauty.

Thank you, again.

Hey, Ace.

- Hey.
- Oh, monsieur looks fine.

Yeah? Not bad as bad, isn't it?

Is the tie alright?

Allow me to.

♪ Yo ho ho ♪

Hey, where are the others?

- They've already left.
- They left?

Well, monsieur, the gentleman said that he would see you at Andre's for dinner.

- Andre's for dinner.
- Yes, monsieur.

Alright, thanks very much.

Oh, say, how are they dressed?

As a pirate and a princess.

Princess and a pirate, eh?

Well, was it worth it?

I've never been so happy.

How did you ever find anything like this?

I know you arranged it.
You're so modest.

But so fast,with that magic wand.

Oh, Monsieur Connors.

Everything is ready,just as you ordered.

Then, let's have it.
Champagne right away.

Well, well. The princess and the pirate.

You thought you'd get away..

Something you want, Bub?

- Oh. Yeah, you got the time?
- No, I haven't.

I'm late. Then I'm sorry.
I've gotta... pardon me, will ya?

Why can't this go on forever?

Because that would be a contradiction in terms.

You know what the word "carnival" means?

Fun, I suppose. Everybody having a good time.

Yes but only because the good times are coming to an end.

In Latin, it's "carnivale."

It means "farewell to the flesh."

That'll teach you to have a college education.

It's a very old idea.
There's a Mohammedan saying.

"Paradise is under the shadow of the sword."

None of this would have any meaning unless

it was defying a time limit.

Is that the meaning of Mardi Gras?

Mardi Gras is only Shrove Tuesday.

After that comes Ash Wednesday.
The beginning of Lent.

Tomorrow, this goes to ashes.
The fasting and... repentance.

Let us here drink and be merry.
Tomorrow we die.

This isn't tomorrow.

No. It isn't.

- Monsieur?
- Do you know Mr.Connors?

Mr. Connors. Of course monsieur.
There is a reservation.

Mr.Connors made all arrangements.

The dinner is ordered.
Entrée's superb.

- This table's only for one.
- Yes, monsieur.

He said he'll join you for a midnight toast.

- Midnight toast?
- Yes, monsieur.

Ah, shall I start with hors oeuvre?

No, uh. You just hold the table.
I-I'm goin' for a little walk.

Yes, monsieur.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

'It's a few minutes of 12.'

'And the masks come off and it's all over.'

'Our masks are off now.'

Two sharp people.

Always ahead of everyone.

Ace, you're not going through with this.

Why not? I've made a deal.
It's a good one.

I don't wanna be fighting and hiding all my life.

Why not get away? You don't have to stay here and take any rap.

I know a place to go.

- Where?
- In South America.

I was gonna go there myself if I'd been successful with Chadwick or if I'd got those bonds from you.

There's a ship in the harbor now.

- Now?
- Skipper's an old friend.

I heard from him just before we left.

I was goin' to catch him on his next trip.

But we don't have
to wait for that.

We?

That is, if you still aren't laughing.

Would you like to spend your life somewhere in South America?

With you, I wouldn't mind a bit.

I could be tired of hiding and running away too.

Even I could know when I found what I want.

You don't pick your friends very well.

Neither do you.

If I'm a liability,I'll stay behind.

But I'd still want you to go.

- When does the ship leave?
- Ace! In two hours.

- We're going, both of us.
- Oh, you do mean it then?

Of course. You go ahead,make arrangements.

It leaves from the Afelia Street wharf.

I've got to make
some arrangements too.

What?

- Well, sit down, Ricki.
- What?

The bonds.

We're gonna let Simms take them back with him.

- What?
- Ah ah ah.

Ace, are you crazy?
A half-million dollars?

It'll be weeks before Simms finds out about us.

Weeks aren't enough.

Someday, it'll be another Simms.

If I take you to the top of a mountain

I won't want to leave 'cause Simms is close.

I want to leave because

I'll think of a more wonderful place to take you.

I can't afford any time for running.

I want to give all my time to Ricki.

It's nearly twelve.

I want you in my arms for that.

- Ace, those bonds!
- Ah ah ah.

You think you can dodge Simms for an hour?

You bet I can.

- Where did you hide them?
- That's very simple.

You take two very large plums.
Place an ortolan on each.

- No!
- Yes.

- The cookbook.
- Uh-huh.

Why didn't I think of that?

Once or twice, I thought you had.

'Now, we light 'em up.'

'Ready? One, two, three.'

What's your hurry, princess?

You getting on a boat with your boyfriend?

- Mr. Connors won't live long.
- You're not very bright.

I only did so he'd tell me where the bonds are.

- Did he tell you?
- Yes.

Good thing. That man from Hot Springs is here.

- Is our deal still 50-50?
- Now, you're getting smarter.

Ricki? Ricki?

Ricki.

- Oh.
- Wish I were Ricki, pirate.

Rick..

Well, did the lady come back here?

No, monsieur.

Hello, pirate.

I told you you could twist him around your finger like a pretzel.

He was easy.

I'll change my things,then we go to the hotel

and get the bonds.

Excuse me, please.

Sure.

Hey, beautiful, are you ready?

You ready, beautiful?

Hey, Ricki!

Monsieur!

Monsieur. Monsieur!

Oh, hello, Ace.

Kind of forgot our midnight toast, didn't you?

Had me worried for a while.

Then, I remembered where you left your clothes.

I figured you couldn't get very far in that outfit.

Where's the princess?
Isn't she with you?

Why don't you shut up?

So the honeymoon's over, eh?

Well, we'll be on our way to New York in the morning anyway.

'I won't.'

- You're crazy?
- Maybe.

As you said just now,the honeymoon's over.

- I'm not going back with you.
- No?

No, something more important's come up.

And I gotta get going pretty quick to get it done.

You can't get away with this, Ace.

Get back, you won't get hurt if you behave.

- Give me my gun.
- Don't be a fool.

This means just as much to me as it does to you.

I'm gonna take you back with me or get carried out myself.

Don't try it, Bob!
You haven't a chance.

Maybe not.

Don't come any closer.

Okay, Ace, drop it.

Get your hands up, both of you.

Get over there.

Now, I'm sure I've met you some place before.

Could be.

His name is Feletti.
He wants grow up to be a bond hijacker.

There's one lot of bonds I want.
Where are they?

- You wanna know?
- I'm asking you.

You mean our girlfriend stood you up?

Skip the comedy, Ace.

I want those bonds now.

You're still playing way over your head, Fly.

If I don't get those bonds,you'll never live to use them.

This man's my prisoner, Feletti.

You're gonna have him when I'm through. In a coffin!

'He's no good to me that way.'

'Don't get ambitious, copper.'

Don't try anything, Bob.
He isn't kidding.

Hold it!

Where are the bonds?

- I haven't got them.
- Get 'em.

You were in a hurry to go someplace when I came in.

I'll keep you company.
Get going.

Don't Ace. Don't try it.

Wow! Oh! Alright.
Go ahead.

I didn't shoot to miss, Ace.

Get going.

I don't know whether I'd rather have those bonds or kill you.

Ace!

Duck, Ace.

Okay, Ace. Put 'em on.

I got five bullets left in this.

Told you, I had something more important to do.

Okay, Bob. I guess it doesn't matter now.

Let's go.

'Hello.'

What happened to you, Ricki?
You missed a lot of fun.

Yes, I know. I read about it.

- How are you, Bob?
- Oh, I'm alright, thanks.

I think you wanted Bob to have this.

Oh, yes.

Bob, I've a little present for you.

After all, we won't need it.

All we'll need is the breast of a lark.

Few ortalans and a bag of prunes.

- Ricki, show the gentleman.
- Oh, wait. Just a moment.

Do either of you recognize these?

But... when? Where?

Ricki, remember I once told you that I'd wait for the one moment when Ace would lose his poise?

Mm-Hmm.

In Mexico, Ace.

You know, Bob. I always wished we might have teamed up.

- What a conman you'd have made.
- Oh, you really think so?

Oh, yes, with that brilliant mind and that dumb act.

Brooklyn Bridge would have changed hands a thousand times.

'All aboard.'

Well, ah--

I'll think about you.

- Where you going now?
- Hot Springs.

Some unfinished business.

Good luck.

'Board'