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00:00:03,187 --> 00:00:06,422
*THE SIMPSONS*
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00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:10,968
*THE SIMPSONS*
Season 32 Episode 11
3
00:00:11,099 --> 00:00:13,109
Episode Title: "The Dad-Feelings Limited"
Aired on: January 03, 2021
4
00:00:13,493 --> 00:00:15,667
Mm.
5
00:00:17,986 --> 00:00:20,042
Yes, another
glorious Sunday.
6
00:00:20,127 --> 00:00:21,956
Oh.
Scone for my muffin?
7
00:00:22,041 --> 00:00:23,128
Nyum, nyum, nyum,
nyum, nyum.
8
00:00:23,212 --> 00:00:26,248
And for you,
five breakfast burritos.
9
00:00:27,353 --> 00:00:29,322
Ah, the Voltron.
10
00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:31,964
Our lives are
in perfect balance.
11
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:36,089
Oh, it is just last-second
birthday gift shoppers.
12
00:00:36,174 --> 00:00:37,735
Ignore them.
13
00:00:39,416 --> 00:00:41,188
I know you're in there,
you lazy dork.
14
00:00:41,272 --> 00:00:42,795
I can smell the burritos!
15
00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:45,192
Four. No! Five!
16
00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:47,487
They can't be closed.
We're booked solid
17
00:00:47,572 --> 00:00:50,159
with birthday parties today,
and we have no presents.
18
00:00:50,244 --> 00:00:51,832
Don't worry, I got this.
19
00:00:52,642 --> 00:00:54,136
Auto Trader for the girls.
20
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,104
Adult Escort Express
for the boys.
21
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:57,404
Kids are adults, right?
22
00:00:57,488 --> 00:01:00,049
Fine, fine, whatever.
Let's just go.
23
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,331
Let us wander as aimlessly
as the plots
24
00:01:05,416 --> 00:01:08,136
of the four
upcoming Avatar sequels...
25
00:01:08,221 --> 00:01:09,283
I can only assume.
26
00:01:09,447 --> 00:01:12,628
I love your contempt
for things that don't matter.
27
00:01:21,853 --> 00:01:23,283
Do you hear that?
28
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,158
Ah,
silence.
29
00:01:31,353 --> 00:01:32,908
Come on, let's go.
30
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,643
Time to go
to Milhouse's puppy party.
31
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,978
If we go late,
you'll get a crappy dog.
32
00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:39,642
That's it,
I'm coming in.
33
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:44,619
Ow! No! Ow! No!
That's where I had my surgery!
34
00:01:53,963 --> 00:01:58,154
Mm! Miyazaki marathon with
chilled lobster spring rolls.
35
00:01:58,239 --> 00:01:59,588
Mm, mm.
36
00:02:07,064 --> 00:02:08,253
Oh, crap!
37
00:02:08,338 --> 00:02:11,338
I just realized I
haven't eaten anything all day.
38
00:02:11,455 --> 00:02:13,464
They're out of pizza,
but I built you a slice
39
00:02:13,549 --> 00:02:14,882
out of trash scraps.
40
00:02:14,967 --> 00:02:17,416
Well, hide me behind your coat
while I eat it.
41
00:02:20,408 --> 00:02:23,596
I need to be
around grown-ups.
42
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,173
Excuse me.
43
00:02:25,258 --> 00:02:27,041
You just passed my street.
44
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,706
Who the hell are you?
45
00:02:29,791 --> 00:02:31,636
Leland Huebner III.
46
00:02:31,721 --> 00:02:33,909
Go back and get Bart.
47
00:02:34,064 --> 00:02:35,986
Hold on,
this one seems all right.
48
00:02:36,392 --> 00:02:38,455
A little stuck up,
but all right.
49
00:02:39,947 --> 00:02:42,230
Thanks so much for the
last-minute dinner invitation.
50
00:02:42,315 --> 00:02:44,346
There never was any dinner.
You fell for a scam.
51
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:46,135
You're babysitting.
No money.
52
00:02:47,664 --> 00:02:49,370
Adults!
53
00:02:49,455 --> 00:02:51,580
Pull over!
54
00:02:54,853 --> 00:02:58,878
Wow, Moe, you really gussy up
the place for trivia night.
55
00:02:58,963 --> 00:03:00,433
Hey, where are the regulars?
56
00:03:00,518 --> 00:03:02,080
Ah, keg storage.
57
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,447
Hey!
We're thirsty!
58
00:03:07,346 --> 00:03:08,494
Thank you.
59
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,862
I've always wanted to do
a trivia.
60
00:03:10,947 --> 00:03:12,767
Who knows
what I might know?
61
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,086
Please, join our team.
62
00:03:19,213 --> 00:03:20,971
But they're noobs.
63
00:03:21,056 --> 00:03:22,721
Even the humble noob
64
00:03:22,805 --> 00:03:25,245
has a place
in the seasons of trivia.
65
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,510
Ooh. Once again
I am in awe of your decency.
66
00:03:28,659 --> 00:03:30,197
All right, all right, weirdos.
67
00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:32,378
I want to welcome you dorks
to trivia night.
68
00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,924
Now, shut your nerd faces
for the first question.
69
00:03:35,025 --> 00:03:37,438
"List the four players
with the most fighting penalties
70
00:03:37,522 --> 00:03:39,455
in NHL history."
71
00:03:39,603 --> 00:03:40,744
Oh, sports.
72
00:03:40,829 --> 00:03:43,103
The very lowest genus
of trivium.
73
00:03:43,188 --> 00:03:45,198
Let's see. Tie Domi,
Dave "Tiger" Williams,
74
00:03:45,322 --> 00:03:46,816
Dave "The Hammer" Schultz,
and, of course,
75
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,134
Stu "The Grim Reaper"
Grimson. Duh.
76
00:03:50,468 --> 00:03:54,088
All right, next category:
20th Century Vacuum Cleaners.
77
00:03:54,189 --> 00:03:55,861
Just give me the pencil.
78
00:03:55,946 --> 00:03:58,510
"The mascot
for this Boston-based..."
79
00:03:58,595 --> 00:04:00,705
Cuppy, the Dunkin' Donuts
coffee cup.
80
00:04:00,891 --> 00:04:03,096
"This English
prog rock supergroup
81
00:04:03,181 --> 00:04:06,447
scored a hit
with 1970's "Lucky Man."
82
00:04:06,532 --> 00:04:07,886
Emerson!
83
00:04:07,971 --> 00:04:08,679
Lake!
84
00:04:08,787 --> 00:04:09,611
And!
85
00:04:09,696 --> 00:04:10,696
Palmer!
86
00:04:11,978 --> 00:04:13,007
Okay, okay.
87
00:04:13,091 --> 00:04:14,853
And the winning team is...
88
00:04:14,938 --> 00:04:17,550
"Han Shot First."
What does that mean?
89
00:04:17,635 --> 00:04:20,018
- Is that dirty?
- It's from Star Wars.
90
00:04:20,103 --> 00:04:22,080
I never heard of it.
I-Is it dirty?
91
00:04:22,166 --> 00:04:23,918
Who cares, who cares.
Here's your trophy.
92
00:04:27,158 --> 00:04:29,425
To fat guys
with hot wives.
93
00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:32,221
This one's for you,
Kevin James.
94
00:04:36,361 --> 00:04:37,479
Take a poncho.
95
00:04:37,564 --> 00:04:41,057
I always carry extras in case
Homer eats anything slurpable.
96
00:04:41,142 --> 00:04:42,901
That's so clever.
97
00:04:42,986 --> 00:04:46,800
What other big-and-tall
"wife hacks" do you have?
98
00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:50,518
Oh, I've got all kinds of tricks
for fat-proofing your house.
99
00:04:50,603 --> 00:04:52,939
Come over sometime
and I'll show you.
100
00:04:53,402 --> 00:04:55,087
My chashu!
101
00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:01,628
See? Here I've welded
high-tensile steel
102
00:05:01,713 --> 00:05:04,556
under the cushions
to reduce sofa-sag.
103
00:05:04,717 --> 00:05:06,602
I've lost
a lot of furniture
104
00:05:06,686 --> 00:05:08,570
to chubby hubby
couch droop.
105
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,234
Oh, Maggie's up.
106
00:05:13,361 --> 00:05:15,770
Can you go sit with her
while I warm a bottle?
107
00:05:15,994 --> 00:05:18,854
Oh, but I don't know much
about babies.
108
00:05:18,939 --> 00:05:20,708
Except how to dress
like one.
109
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,394
All is well.
110
00:05:25,479 --> 00:05:26,596
Silence.
111
00:05:26,681 --> 00:05:27,916
You are loved!
112
00:05:43,532 --> 00:05:47,009
Singing Japanese lullaby...
113
00:05:51,971 --> 00:05:54,075
Look how much
she likes you.
114
00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,721
You're a natural.
115
00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:59,572
I just remembered something
I must tell my husband.
116
00:06:00,182 --> 00:06:02,291
Impregnate me at once!
117
00:06:03,968 --> 00:06:06,143
But you never wanted
children.
118
00:06:06,228 --> 00:06:08,573
You always said our marriage
is perfect as it is.
119
00:06:08,658 --> 00:06:12,893
I mean, can you imagine a child
playing in this room?
120
00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:15,062
Uh, it's full of toys.
121
00:06:15,236 --> 00:06:17,448
Yes, well, but yeah,
but it's selfish
122
00:06:17,533 --> 00:06:20,620
to bring a new life into a world
with diminishing resources.
123
00:06:20,705 --> 00:06:23,300
The planet is running out
of watchable IP!
124
00:06:23,385 --> 00:06:25,815
They say by 2028
all we will have left
125
00:06:25,900 --> 00:06:28,363
is the General Mills
Cinematic Universe
126
00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:29,861
starring Hamburger Helper.
127
00:06:29,946 --> 00:06:32,026
If I can't convince you,
128
00:06:32,111 --> 00:06:34,956
maybe
she can.
129
00:06:35,988 --> 00:06:37,541
Greta, the sexy Gremlin
130
00:06:37,626 --> 00:06:40,697
from the underappreciated-
but-still-terrible Gremlins 2.
131
00:06:41,946 --> 00:06:44,877
I know this is
your ultimate fantasy.
132
00:06:44,962 --> 00:06:47,494
It's time
to feed your desires
133
00:06:47,579 --> 00:06:48,997
after midnight.
134
00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:54,400
I must resist.
135
00:06:54,485 --> 00:06:56,870
My will is stronger
than The Great Resisto,
136
00:06:57,048 --> 00:06:59,930
a hero I am inventing
as I reference him.
137
00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:02,876
Uh, my darling, my darling,
I am sorry.
138
00:07:03,712 --> 00:07:06,868
But I have spent every working
hour of my life around children,
139
00:07:06,953 --> 00:07:08,555
and one thing
I know for certain:
140
00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,665
I don't want any.
141
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:13,274
And... banked.
142
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,837
I want a baby.
143
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,571
I don't want a baby!
144
00:07:26,157 --> 00:07:28,844
Kumiko's baby fever is
out of control.
145
00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:30,821
Look at all these comments
she left.
146
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:33,352
It goes really quick
from smiley face
147
00:07:33,437 --> 00:07:36,219
to "Without a baby,
all is horror."
148
00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:39,587
Well, I think Comic Book Guy
149
00:07:39,672 --> 00:07:41,090
should have kids.
150
00:07:41,175 --> 00:07:43,293
Oh, that's so sweet.
151
00:07:43,524 --> 00:07:45,258
'Cause screw that jerk!
152
00:07:45,343 --> 00:07:48,610
Thinks his childless life
is so great just because it is.
153
00:07:48,703 --> 00:07:50,262
Wakes up whenever he wants.
154
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,047
Doesn't have to lug car seats
onto the plane.
155
00:07:53,132 --> 00:07:55,751
He can store poison
in the fridge so it's nice and cold.
156
00:07:55,845 --> 00:07:58,797
And don't get me started
on their sex life.
157
00:07:58,882 --> 00:08:00,266
They can do it anywhere:
158
00:08:00,351 --> 00:08:03,571
kitchen floor, bathroom floor,
on the microwave.
159
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:07,633
Set that baby on "popcorn."
Pop! Pop! Pop!
160
00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:10,274
So... we'll help them?
161
00:08:10,405 --> 00:08:13,477
Anything
to destroy their paradise.
162
00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:21,790
Remember,
it's up to you two
163
00:08:21,906 --> 00:08:24,344
to make children seem
like a blessing.
164
00:08:24,686 --> 00:08:27,524
Got it. And when she pops out
that kid, we each get a 20.
165
00:08:27,609 --> 00:08:30,594
- Or equivalent gift card.
- Whoa! That's the stuff.
166
00:08:30,679 --> 00:08:34,286
Oh, look,
it's our trivia buddies!
167
00:08:34,410 --> 00:08:37,505
You see movies
at the same cemetery we do?
168
00:08:37,590 --> 00:08:39,613
What a pleasant surprise.
169
00:08:40,227 --> 00:08:41,466
Speaking of children,
170
00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:44,930
these two were completely
planned and wanted.
171
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:49,335
Shrug,
he shrugged.
172
00:08:49,498 --> 00:08:51,982
Uh, why don't we get
some more snacks?
173
00:08:53,538 --> 00:08:55,523
Hello, little azuki bean.
174
00:08:57,982 --> 00:08:59,302
Yo, Kingpin!
175
00:08:59,387 --> 00:09:00,838
How's the ponytail hanging?
176
00:09:00,988 --> 00:09:03,834
Don't patronize me,
Bart and She-Bart.
177
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,178
I need silence
to watch the iconic '80s
178
00:09:06,263 --> 00:09:08,770
time travel epic,
Forward to the Past.
179
00:09:08,854 --> 00:09:10,805
Never heard of it.
Is it any good?
180
00:09:10,974 --> 00:09:13,841
Okay, it's a consensus
top ten family action comedy
181
00:09:13,925 --> 00:09:16,022
that has been delighting
bedwetting piglets
182
00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:17,612
like yourself for eons!
183
00:09:17,747 --> 00:09:21,233
Feh! Wah! Hooof!
And again, feh!
184
00:09:21,318 --> 00:09:22,817
- Oh.
- Huh.
185
00:09:22,901 --> 00:09:26,321
It's so sweet you're helping
the Book Guys become a family.
186
00:09:26,405 --> 00:09:28,357
I mean, without kids,
come on,
187
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,200
they're just dating
with rings on.
188
00:09:31,607 --> 00:09:34,708
Oh, Marge,
I love your takes.
189
00:09:34,793 --> 00:09:36,897
Ooh, model crypt.
190
00:09:36,982 --> 00:09:40,168
Fancy! Want to see
how the other half dies?
191
00:09:40,642 --> 00:09:41,943
Oh!
192
00:09:42,253 --> 00:09:44,161
We can return
to our time
193
00:09:44,246 --> 00:09:46,506
if we can just get
this paddle steamer
194
00:09:46,591 --> 00:09:48,631
up to 99 miles an hour.
195
00:09:48,716 --> 00:09:51,112
Is that relative
to the shore or the water?
196
00:09:51,196 --> 00:09:53,881
Great Steve, Mickey!
I don't know!
197
00:09:54,247 --> 00:09:57,364
Golfer Aoki,
four letters.
198
00:09:57,567 --> 00:09:58,763
"Isao."
199
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,044
Hello? Hello?!
200
00:10:00,129 --> 00:10:02,200
The show is up there,
not on your lap.
201
00:10:02,285 --> 00:10:04,162
Look, I got to be honest.
I only like movies
202
00:10:04,247 --> 00:10:05,493
where Deadpool talks
to the camera,
203
00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:06,927
so I'm watching Deadpool.
204
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,733
Okay, eyes up, TikToks!
205
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:13,036
Tonight, you watch a screen
that is unswipeable!
206
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,958
Premium sound system.
Sweet.
207
00:10:24,379 --> 00:10:25,763
Honey, just think.
208
00:10:25,848 --> 00:10:27,506
Someday,
you and I will be
209
00:10:27,591 --> 00:10:30,084
snuggling next
to each other for eternity.
210
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:33,421
Oh, Homie, I never
thought about it that way.
211
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,849
'Till death do each other.
212
00:10:42,347 --> 00:10:45,933
Rivers? Where we're going,
we don't need rivers.
213
00:10:55,427 --> 00:10:57,092
Yes, all right,
you little trolls.
214
00:10:57,177 --> 00:10:59,686
If you must,
tear the classic down
215
00:10:59,771 --> 00:11:02,607
with your snarky little remarks.
Go.
216
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,936
An emotionally satisfying
ending.
217
00:11:06,021 --> 00:11:08,709
Are you sure
this is an American movie?
218
00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:10,208
I can't believe it.
219
00:11:10,293 --> 00:11:12,904
I... cared what happened.
220
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,772
Oh. What is that thrill
I'm feeling?
221
00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:20,685
You are experiencing this movie
again for the first time,
222
00:11:20,896 --> 00:11:23,239
but through the eyes
of children.
223
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:34,147
Oh, Homie,
that was so dangerous.
224
00:11:34,232 --> 00:11:36,350
I feel like Mrs. Dracula.
225
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:38,252
I definitely had a...
226
00:11:38,336 --> 00:11:40,013
good evening.
227
00:11:41,849 --> 00:11:43,324
Hey, it's locked.
228
00:11:43,408 --> 00:11:45,159
Oh, no!
229
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:48,115
We're trapped
in a crypt full of...
230
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,530
smooth jazz.
231
00:11:56,621 --> 00:11:58,083
Little known trivia:
232
00:11:58,191 --> 00:12:01,561
the time travel vehicle
was originally a tanning booth.
233
00:12:01,646 --> 00:12:04,212
- Whoa!
- That's crazy!
234
00:12:04,296 --> 00:12:07,053
The little ones love
your useless knowledge.
235
00:12:07,138 --> 00:12:10,428
Yes, my factoid will be
passed on for generations,
236
00:12:10,513 --> 00:12:13,169
and in that way,
I will never truly die.
237
00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,444
You know,
maybe I was wrong
238
00:12:16,529 --> 00:12:20,282
to dismiss the idea
of children so... so quickly.
239
00:12:20,650 --> 00:12:21,881
Do you mean it?
240
00:12:21,966 --> 00:12:24,053
Hurry. Let's return
these loaner kids
241
00:12:24,138 --> 00:12:27,201
and go home
to make a mixed-race nerd.
242
00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,872
Hey, shouldn't Mom and Dad
be showing up about now?
243
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:36,256
Mom? Dad?
Where are you?!
244
00:12:36,341 --> 00:12:38,346
We are in a cemetery,
245
00:12:38,544 --> 00:12:40,748
so maybe
they were attacked by zombies.
246
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:43,217
Stop it!
Stop saying that!
247
00:12:43,301 --> 00:12:45,326
Our parents are undead.
248
00:12:45,411 --> 00:12:47,188
Dad will eat your head.
249
00:12:53,474 --> 00:12:55,803
Let us out!
250
00:12:55,888 --> 00:12:58,842
Great Steve!
They are zombies!
251
00:13:05,174 --> 00:13:07,325
They demand...
emotional support.
252
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:08,843
You can do it.
253
00:13:08,927 --> 00:13:10,344
Give them comfort.
254
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,263
Must... act like...
loving father.
255
00:13:16,411 --> 00:13:17,602
I flee.
256
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,021
But you caved!
257
00:13:26,232 --> 00:13:29,177
Mom! Dad!
You're okay!
258
00:13:29,619 --> 00:13:30,837
Hey, where'd the dork go?
259
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,975
Your children's
emotional needs
260
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:34,576
have pushed him
away.
261
00:13:34,661 --> 00:13:37,305
If I know him,
and I don't,
262
00:13:37,389 --> 00:13:39,040
I'm sure
he'll be back.
263
00:13:39,202 --> 00:13:43,794
No. He has run to a place
where there is no hope.
264
00:13:49,771 --> 00:13:52,247
I have returned. Forever.
265
00:13:52,435 --> 00:13:55,943
Your room is unchanged...
as are your sheets.
266
00:14:01,796 --> 00:14:05,091
So... your husband ran away
to his childhood home,
267
00:14:05,232 --> 00:14:06,741
leaving you alone.
268
00:14:06,872 --> 00:14:09,264
Maybe forever.
Also, childless.
269
00:14:10,513 --> 00:14:12,498
I'm sure
you're experiencing
270
00:14:12,583 --> 00:14:14,748
a lot of feelings
right now.
271
00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:16,551
It's okay
to let them out.
272
00:14:19,013 --> 00:14:22,037
I hate you,
you shameless womb tease!
273
00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,115
You're like
a baby drug dealer!
274
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:27,217
You give me a taste,
and now I'm hooked!
275
00:14:27,302 --> 00:14:29,186
This is on you, too!
276
00:14:29,271 --> 00:14:31,897
You've crushed
my only chance at happiness,
277
00:14:31,982 --> 00:14:34,600
you ape-faced
cheeseburger goblin!
278
00:14:37,169 --> 00:14:38,576
Make this right.
279
00:14:38,661 --> 00:14:40,786
Bring back my husband!
280
00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:50,381
Whoa. So this is where
Comic Book Guy grew up.
281
00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:54,006
We'll finally see what kind
of "its" created a "that."
282
00:14:57,411 --> 00:15:01,529
Ah, you must be delivering
my 1912 Polish coronation stamp.
283
00:15:01,614 --> 00:15:03,373
Actually,
we're looking for someone
284
00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:05,061
we call "Comic Book Guy."
285
00:15:05,146 --> 00:15:08,670
Enter.
My son is in here... somewhere.
286
00:15:08,911 --> 00:15:11,873
Oh, well, thank you,
Mr., uh...
287
00:15:12,113 --> 00:15:15,919
You may refer to me
as "Postage Stamp Fellow."
288
00:15:19,391 --> 00:15:21,626
What is this crazy place?
289
00:15:26,638 --> 00:15:27,872
This crazy place
290
00:15:27,957 --> 00:15:30,037
is Comic Book Guy's
childhood home.
291
00:15:30,122 --> 00:15:32,045
An only child,
he grew up surrounded
292
00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:36,200
by an eccentric extended family
of childless aunts and uncles.
293
00:15:36,285 --> 00:15:39,389
However, his family poured their
love into their collections,
294
00:15:39,474 --> 00:15:43,264
instead of into the lonely
little boy wandering the halls.
295
00:15:43,349 --> 00:15:46,615
His aunt collected taxidermized
chestnut-tailed starlings,
296
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:49,897
causing her to form a tacit
alliance with her twin brother,
297
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:52,497
who collected
brutalist birdhouses.
298
00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:55,951
His great step-uncle,
299
00:15:56,036 --> 00:15:58,678
who had once had his heart
broken by a meter maid,
300
00:15:58,763 --> 00:16:01,864
was a gatherer of discredited
obstetric equipment,
301
00:16:01,949 --> 00:16:03,583
while his younger
dowager aunt
302
00:16:03,668 --> 00:16:06,086
collected antique
Chinese cricket boxes
303
00:16:06,171 --> 00:16:07,927
and filled them
with live crickets,
304
00:16:08,012 --> 00:16:09,396
who frequently escaped.
305
00:16:10,593 --> 00:16:12,026
The only thing of value
306
00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:14,966
the family did not display
in the home was love.
307
00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:17,732
And the love he sought most
was that of his father,
308
00:16:17,817 --> 00:16:20,753
who spent his days
as an avid philatelist.
309
00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:40,755
Mint. Mint.
Near mint. Very fine.
310
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,216
Hi, um, there.
311
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:46,544
Maybe you might feel better
if you came home with us?
312
00:16:46,651 --> 00:16:48,498
I am home.
From now on,
313
00:16:48,583 --> 00:16:51,169
my only companion is
my comic book collection.
314
00:16:51,316 --> 00:16:53,267
Mint. Mint.
Near mint.
315
00:16:53,488 --> 00:16:55,198
Gem mint. Mint.
Mint...
316
00:16:55,334 --> 00:16:58,086
- Look at the sad little boy.
- Mint. Mint. Mint. Mint.
317
00:16:58,256 --> 00:16:59,966
Is that you?
318
00:17:00,736 --> 00:17:03,255
Worst... day... ever!
319
00:17:04,035 --> 00:17:06,880
There's got to be more
to this story.
320
00:17:06,965 --> 00:17:08,927
There was more to this story.
321
00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:13,927
Without anyone to play with, the
lonely boy turned to baseball.
322
00:17:14,012 --> 00:17:15,943
His favorite pitcher
was Sandy Koufax,
323
00:17:16,028 --> 00:17:19,380
and he perfected a curveball
of rare devastation.
324
00:17:19,715 --> 00:17:22,419
However, his team
would never give him a chance.
325
00:17:22,762 --> 00:17:24,622
But on the day
before the big game,
326
00:17:24,707 --> 00:17:27,958
all the starting pitchers were
injured in a multi-canoe pile-up
327
00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:31,723
caused by the sighting of
an unusually large lake sturgeon.
328
00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:35,575
He got the call to pitch.
329
00:17:35,979 --> 00:17:38,498
His dearest hope was that
his father would finally see
330
00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:40,466
his masterful curveball
in action.
331
00:17:40,677 --> 00:17:43,130
But during the biggest moment
of his young life,
332
00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:46,224
his dad was
nowhere to be seen.
333
00:18:10,849 --> 00:18:12,279
He escaped his sadness
334
00:18:12,363 --> 00:18:16,052
into a world of heroes,
villains and Jugheads.
335
00:18:19,122 --> 00:18:22,841
In that moment, he became more
than a boy but less than a man.
336
00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:26,950
He became
Comic Book Guy.
337
00:18:28,076 --> 00:18:30,350
Marge then confronted
Postage Stamp Fellow
338
00:18:30,435 --> 00:18:33,138
about this life-changing
incident with his son.
339
00:18:33,223 --> 00:18:36,099
What?
Oh. Okay.
340
00:18:38,223 --> 00:18:41,404
Why weren't you there
for your son when he needed you?
341
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,607
This is not a family
to rummage through the past.
342
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:45,980
Emotionally.
343
00:18:46,064 --> 00:18:49,049
You tell me why you didn't go
to your son's baseball game,
344
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:50,318
or I'll lick it.
345
00:18:50,403 --> 00:18:51,987
My Inverted Dendermonde?
346
00:18:52,072 --> 00:18:53,356
You wouldn't dare!
347
00:18:55,282 --> 00:18:56,635
All right, all right!
I'll tell you!
348
00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:58,161
I was buying him that.
349
00:19:01,846 --> 00:19:04,265
Go ahead.
Tell him.
350
00:19:05,154 --> 00:19:06,545
I didn't go to your game,
351
00:19:06,630 --> 00:19:08,553
because I was afraid
if you lost,
352
00:19:08,638 --> 00:19:10,704
I wouldn't know how
to comfort you.
353
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:13,274
So I supported you
the only way I knew how.
354
00:19:13,358 --> 00:19:15,042
I purchased you
a collectible.
355
00:19:15,263 --> 00:19:18,012
Which I never had the heart
to give you.
356
00:19:18,536 --> 00:19:19,880
Sandy Koufax,
357
00:19:19,964 --> 00:19:22,049
the left arm of God!
358
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:25,483
Son, perhaps we should
do something we've never done.
359
00:19:25,568 --> 00:19:26,754
Have a catch?
360
00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:28,753
I think
I would like that.
361
00:19:30,975 --> 00:19:32,526
- Ow!
- Ow!
362
00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:34,428
- Ow!
- Ow!
363
00:19:34,512 --> 00:19:38,725
Everyone,
my son and I are having a catch.
364
00:19:38,903 --> 00:19:41,612
Love was finally on display.
365
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:44,364
- Ow.
- Ow.
366
00:19:44,482 --> 00:19:49,428
Well, maybe Comic Book Guy won't
be so afraid to be a father.
367
00:19:51,208 --> 00:19:52,244
Sucker.
368
00:19:55,786 --> 00:19:58,285
Wife, I have returned...
healed!
369
00:19:58,369 --> 00:20:01,528
I am now...
Changed Better Guy.
370
00:20:02,067 --> 00:20:04,058
My ultimate fantasy.
371
00:20:04,142 --> 00:20:07,962
Mr. Beaver from The Lion,the Witch and the Wardrobe.
372
00:20:08,069 --> 00:20:10,452
You are ready
to make a baby.
373
00:20:10,536 --> 00:20:12,536
Sync corrections by srjanapala
374
00:20:14,943 --> 00:20:18,575
Instrumental intro
to "Ooh La La" plays...
375
00:20:36,074 --> 00:20:38,755
♪ Poor old Granddad ♪
376
00:20:39,036 --> 00:20:41,695
♪ I laughed at all his words ♪
377
00:20:42,247 --> 00:20:45,389
♪ I thought he wasa bitter man ♪
378
00:20:45,474 --> 00:20:47,888
♪ He spoke of women's ways... ♪
379
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:53,808
♪ They trap youand they use you ♪
380
00:20:53,893 --> 00:20:57,033
♪ Before you even know ♪
381
00:20:57,118 --> 00:21:00,174
♪ But love is blindand you're far too kind ♪
382
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,150
♪ Don't ever let it show ♪
383
00:21:03,439 --> 00:21:07,861
♪ I wish that I knewwhat I know now ♪
384
00:21:08,236 --> 00:21:09,869
♪ When I was younger ♪
385
00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:14,290
♪ I wish that I knewwhat I know now ♪
386
00:21:14,634 --> 00:21:16,229
♪ When I was stronger ♪
387
00:21:16,314 --> 00:21:19,166
♪ The can-can'ssuch a pretty show ♪
388
00:21:19,251 --> 00:21:22,197
♪ Will steal your heart away ♪
389
00:21:22,494 --> 00:21:25,884
♪ But backstageback on Earth again ♪
390
00:21:25,969 --> 00:21:28,673
♪ The dressing rooms are gray ♪
391
00:21:29,134 --> 00:21:31,078
♪ They come on strongand it ain't too... ♪
392
00:21:31,162 --> 00:21:32,361
Shh!
29226
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