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1
00:00:03,567 --> 00:00:05,276
- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
2
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:06,676
- I LOVE YOU.
IT'S GONNA BE FINE.
3
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:08,147
IT'S GONNA BE PERFECT, OKAY?
I'LL SEE YOU IN RECOVERY.
4
00:00:08,171 --> 00:00:09,276
- OH, MY LOVE.
5
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,309
THIS LYME DISEASE HAS TAKEN
THE BEST OF ME.
6
00:00:12,333 --> 00:00:16,976
I HAVE NEVER SUFFERED
THIS DEEPLY IN MY LIFE.
7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,476
- THE PROBLEM IS THERE'S ALL
THESE WINDOWS,
8
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,576
AND I TEND TO WALK AROUND
WITHOUT MY CLOTHES ON,
9
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:22,109
AS YOU KNOW.
10
00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:24,379
I MET J.R. AT THE WHITE PARTY
AT KYLE'S HOUSE.
11
00:00:24,403 --> 00:00:27,710
WE ARGUE A LOT, AND THEN WE HAVE
REALLY GOOD MAKE-UP SEX.
12
00:00:27,734 --> 00:00:29,151
AND THAT'S J.R.
- DO YOU GUYS HAVE KIDS?
13
00:00:29,175 --> 00:00:31,543
- YEAH. 11, 9, AND 2 NEXT WEEK.
14
00:00:31,567 --> 00:00:33,176
YEAH, HE'S CROSS. - CROSS?
15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,109
- YEAH. UM, DESTINY AND MYSTERI.
16
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:36,409
- WHOA, THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
- DESTINY AND MYSTERI.
17
00:00:36,433 --> 00:00:37,576
THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
18
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,443
I LIKE THAT EVEN BETTER
THAN CROSS.
19
00:00:40,467 --> 00:00:42,543
- DON'T [bleep]
WITH MY CHILDREN'S NAMES.
20
00:00:42,567 --> 00:00:44,142
- THIS IS WHERE THE RUMOR COMES
21
00:00:44,166 --> 00:00:45,710
THAT HE'S BEEN SEEN
WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN.
22
00:00:45,734 --> 00:00:47,476
[laughs]
23
00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:48,746
- HOW ARE YOU WITH KYLE?
24
00:00:48,770 --> 00:00:50,244
- I MEAN, I'M NOT
IN A BETTER PLACE
25
00:00:50,268 --> 00:00:52,209
WITH A WOMAN THAT CALLED ME
A LIAR.
26
00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:53,748
- YOU JUST GOT TO PUT YOUR HOUSE
ON THE MARKET.
27
00:00:53,772 --> 00:00:54,744
YOU'RE GOING TO BOND
REALLY QUICK.
28
00:00:54,768 --> 00:00:57,042
[laughter]
29
00:00:57,066 --> 00:01:01,109
- ONE. ARM UP.
30
00:01:01,133 --> 00:01:05,133
- SOME PEOPLE JUST AREN'T
CUT OUT FOR FAKE FAINTS.
31
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,042
- UH.
32
00:01:09,066 --> 00:01:10,043
- [laughs]
33
00:01:10,067 --> 00:01:11,543
[upbeat music]
34
00:01:11,567 --> 00:01:13,009
- I'M FROM THIS TOWN.
35
00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:16,173
I KNOW WHAT'S REAL
AND WHAT'S FAKE.
36
00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:19,376
- DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE MY FRIEND.
37
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,976
ACT LIKE ONE.
38
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,009
- IN BEVERLY HILLS,
THE HIGHER YOU CLIMB,
39
00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:27,009
THE FARTHER YOU FALL.
40
00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:28,409
- EVERYBODY LOVES
A COMEBACK STORY,
41
00:01:28,433 --> 00:01:32,076
ESPECIALLY STARRING ME.
42
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,409
- IN MY WORLD,
MONEY DOESN'T TALK.
43
00:01:34,433 --> 00:01:36,676
IT SWEARS.
44
00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:38,209
- YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO YOUNG,
45
00:01:38,233 --> 00:01:41,476
TOO THIN, OR TOO HONEST.
46
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,976
- LIFE IS A SEXY LITTLE DANCE,
47
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,030
AND I LIKE TO TAKE THE LEAD.
48
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,976
- HI.
- HI, BOO-BOO.
49
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,376
- OH, HI.
- HI.
50
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,976
- I LIKE YOUR BAND-AID.
- I KNOW.
51
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,142
I'M A MESS.
52
00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:12,242
MOVING INTO MY NEW HOUSE,
53
00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:14,276
I HAVE SCRAPES,
AND BRUISES, AND BUMPS,
54
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,247
AND I'M WALKING INTO FURNITURE.
55
00:02:16,271 --> 00:02:19,176
I FELL TWICE, AND I WAS SOBER.
56
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,109
- CAN I GET CHICA?
- I GUESS.
57
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:23,042
- I HAVE TO.
- SHE PEES.
58
00:02:23,066 --> 00:02:24,376
- SHE WON'T PEE ON ME.
59
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,142
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
60
00:02:27,166 --> 00:02:30,109
- I'M GONNA GO OUT WITH J.R.
61
00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:32,343
AND HAVE THE TALK.
62
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:34,109
- AGAIN, OR...
- [chuckles]
63
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:36,280
J.R. STARTED OUT
AS MY MAN FRIEND.
64
00:02:36,304 --> 00:02:38,076
AND THEN, WE BROKE UP.
65
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,309
AND THEN, I NEEDED A HOUSE.
66
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:40,980
SO I SAID I WOULD USE HIM,
67
00:02:41,004 --> 00:02:43,743
AND SO I USED HIM
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.
68
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,176
- TELL ME YOU WANT IT,
AND I'LL GO GET IT.
69
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,576
- GET IT.
70
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,710
DON'T [bleep] IT UP.
71
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,451
BECAUSE HE'S
A REAL ESTATE AGENT.
72
00:02:49,475 --> 00:02:51,276
YES, DUH.
73
00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,176
NO, THIS TIME,
IT'S FOR GOOD, SO...
74
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,576
- NO, BUT YOU GUYS HAVE
BROKEN UP SO MANY TIMES.
75
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,209
IT'S BACK ON. IT'S BACK OFF.
76
00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:58,380
IT'S OFF. IT'S ON.
77
00:02:58,404 --> 00:03:00,543
I MEAN, HE... HE'S NICE,
78
00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,176
BUT I DON'T THINK HE'S FOR YOU.
79
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,647
- NO, I MEAN,
I KNOW HE'S NOT FOR ME,
80
00:03:03,671 --> 00:03:05,543
BUT IT WAS NICE TO PLAY HOUSE
WITH SOMEONE,
81
00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:07,144
AND SPEND THE NIGHT, AND LIKE
82
00:03:07,168 --> 00:03:09,443
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING
TO END BADLY
83
00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:12,042
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
I'M GONNA SEE HIM.
84
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,476
HE'S MAURICIO'S PARTNER.
85
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:17,142
NOW THAT I HAVE A HOUSE,
I DON'T NEED J.R. ANYMORE.
86
00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:18,976
THAT IS HORRIBLE.
87
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,476
BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE.
HE'S DRIVING ME NUTS.
88
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:23,670
HE'S REALLY ON MY LAST NERVE.
89
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,245
OH, THAT FEELS GOOD.
90
00:03:30,269 --> 00:03:32,209
- IS IT WARM?
- I FEEL LIKE A LITTLE KID.
91
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:34,180
SOME PEOPLE DO THEIR BEST
THINKING IN THE SHOWER.
92
00:03:34,204 --> 00:03:36,047
I DO MY BEST THINKING
IN THE BATHTUB.
93
00:03:36,071 --> 00:03:37,209
LOVELY.
94
00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:38,309
- BUT WHAT'S GONNA BE
DIFFERENT THIS TIME?
95
00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:40,576
SERIOUSLY?
- ULTIMATELY, I MEAN...
96
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,710
AND I'VE SAID THIS TO HIM,
SO IT'S NOT LIKE A SHOCK...
97
00:03:43,734 --> 00:03:45,311
WE DON'T GET ALONG, HE AND I.
98
00:03:45,335 --> 00:03:47,509
WE BICKER LIKE
AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE,
99
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:49,176
AND THEN WE HAVE AMAZING SEX.
100
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,576
- YOU MIGHT NEED TO TAKE
A LITTLE BREAK FOR A MINUTE.
101
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,176
- YEAH, FOR SURE,
BUT WHAT HAPPENS
102
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,176
WHEN MY TUB DOESN'T WORK,
AND MY WASHER'S NOT WORKING,
103
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,446
AND I JUST... - GET A HANDYMAN.
104
00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:57,710
- AY, YI, YI, YA.
- YOU DESERVE BETTER.
105
00:03:57,734 --> 00:03:59,611
- YOU LATIN PEOPLE IN MY LIFE
ARE SO ANNOYING.
106
00:03:59,635 --> 00:04:01,673
- I KNOW.
107
00:04:09,734 --> 00:04:11,343
- I'M SO EXCITED FOR TODAY.
108
00:04:11,367 --> 00:04:12,409
YOU'RE GONNA LOOK SO AMAZING,
109
00:04:12,433 --> 00:04:14,343
JUST DRIPPING IN JEWELS.
110
00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:16,409
IVETTE IS THE WINNER OF
THE PAGEANT THAT I CREATED,
111
00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:17,547
"QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE."
112
00:04:17,571 --> 00:04:19,343
- I LOVE IT.
- IT'S GONNA BE BEAUTIFUL.
113
00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:23,242
I WANTED TO EMPOWER GIRLS
AND GIVE GIRLS A PLATFORM
114
00:04:23,266 --> 00:04:25,009
THAT I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE.
115
00:04:25,033 --> 00:04:26,478
SO WE HAVE SO MANY THINGS
COMING UP NOW.
116
00:04:26,502 --> 00:04:28,076
WE'RE GONNA GO TO
THE CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL.
117
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:29,077
- UH-HUH.
118
00:04:29,101 --> 00:04:30,476
- TO THE CANCER PATIENT UNIT.
119
00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,747
I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE
THINK BEAUTY PAGEANTS
120
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,409
ARE FOR DUMB GIRLS,
121
00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:36,509
BUT I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL
WHEN I WAS JUST TURNING 16.
122
00:04:36,533 --> 00:04:39,076
AND THEN I FINISHED MY TWO
B.A.s BY THE TIME I WAS 19.
123
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:40,609
I HAVE A BACHELOR'S DEGREE
IN SOCIAL WORK
124
00:04:40,633 --> 00:04:42,409
AND A BACHELOR'S DEGREE
IN SPECIAL EDUCATION.
125
00:04:42,433 --> 00:04:44,747
IT'S A BIG, BIG FUNDRAISER,
AND YOU'RE ONNG BE THERE
126
00:04:44,771 --> 00:04:46,109
CROWNING LITTLE GIRLS.
127
00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:48,379
IN PUERTO RICO, I WAS
WORKING AT KFC
128
00:04:48,403 --> 00:04:50,446
WHEN THIS GUY OFFERED ME
500 BUCKS
129
00:04:50,470 --> 00:04:52,044
TO DO A CAMPAIGN FOR HIM.
130
00:04:52,068 --> 00:04:53,543
AND I WAS LIKE,
"OH, MY GOD, $500!
131
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:55,710
I'M SO RICH!"
132
00:04:55,734 --> 00:04:59,009
I DID A MILLION PHOTO SHOOTS,
AND A LOT OF THEM WERE SEXY,
133
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,150
BUT YOU COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING.
134
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,543
YOU COULDN'T SEE MY COOCHIE
OR MY BOOBIES.
135
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:04,044
ONE OF THE SHOOTS THAT I DID
136
00:05:04,068 --> 00:05:06,242
SOMEHOW GOT SO MUCH NOTORIETY
137
00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:07,676
AFTER I WON
THE MISS PUERTO RICO.
138
00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:11,976
I DON'T KNOW WHY IT BECAME
THIS MASSIVE SCANDAL.
139
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,242
THANK YOU.
140
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:15,376
AND I CALLED THE OFFICES
OF TRUMP IN NEW YORK,
141
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,576
AND I ACTUALLY GOT A HOLD
OF HIS SECRETARY.
142
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:18,747
I WAS LIKE, "NO,
I DON'T WANT THEM
143
00:05:18,771 --> 00:05:21,067
TO TAKE MY CROWN AWAY."
144
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,643
HI. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?
145
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:26,743
- I'M GOOD.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
146
00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:28,176
HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD.
147
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,176
AND THE NEXT DAY,
SHE CALLED ME BACK,
148
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,609
AND SHE SAID, "SWEETHEART,
MR. TRUMP HAS SEEN EVERYTHING,
149
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,009
AND YOU HAVE NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT."
150
00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,379
SO IT ALL WORKED OUT.
151
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:38,176
SEE, THIS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE
IT'S VERY PRETTY WOMAN.
152
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:39,509
- THIS IS VERY PRETTY WOMAN.
153
00:05:39,533 --> 00:05:41,309
THIS IS ACTUALLY THE SAME STORE
154
00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,643
THAT THEY SHOT PRETTY WOMAN IN.
155
00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:43,644
- YOU DO THAT TOO?
156
00:05:43,668 --> 00:05:45,676
[squeals] [laughter]
157
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:47,710
ABOUT 12 YEARS AGO,
I MOVED TO LOS ANGELES
158
00:05:47,734 --> 00:05:49,609
WITH TWO BAGS AND A DREAM.
159
00:05:49,633 --> 00:05:52,509
OKAY, YOU CAN STAND,
YOU GORGEOUS QUEEN...
160
00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:54,480
- OKAY.
- AND WE WILL CROWN YOU.
161
00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:55,609
- OH, MY GOD.
162
00:05:55,633 --> 00:05:58,042
- I HAD NOTHING
BUT A RESERVATION
163
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,576
AT THE BEVERLY WILSHIRE HOTEL.
164
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,209
WHEN I FIRST MOVED HERE,
I WANTED TO COME HERE
165
00:06:02,233 --> 00:06:03,979
BECAUSE I SAW THE MOVIE
PRETTY WOMAN.
166
00:06:04,003 --> 00:06:05,409
SO I STAYED AT THIS HOTEL.
167
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,350
BUT THEN I WAS LIKE,
"OKAY, I'M GOING BROKE HERE.
168
00:06:07,374 --> 00:06:09,276
I GOTTA MOVE,
OR IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN."
169
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,276
- NOW YOU NEED TO GO BACK
TO THE STORES ON RODEO
170
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:12,646
AND DO THE SAME THING SHE DID.
171
00:06:12,670 --> 00:06:14,509
"BIG MISTAKE." both: "HUGE."
172
00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:16,009
- REMEMBER THAT?
THAT WAS AWESOME.
173
00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:18,573
I LOVE THAT SCENE.
174
00:06:20,333 --> 00:06:21,550
- HOW LONG DO YOU NEED
TO COOK, BABE?
175
00:06:21,574 --> 00:06:23,076
- TWO MINUTES.
- OKAY.
176
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,376
WE HAVE TWO MINUTES
TO PLAY GOLF, LEO.
177
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,276
CAN WE DO THAT? - THREE MINUTES.
178
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:27,576
PLAY FOR THREE MINUTES.
- OKAY, COME ON.
179
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,009
THREE MINUTES, GUYS.
180
00:06:29,033 --> 00:06:30,309
- I HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN,
181
00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:32,309
LEONARDO AND VALENTINO,
182
00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:36,576
WHO ARE THE LOVE AND THE LIGHT
OF MY EYES.
183
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,710
- NICE ONE.
184
00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:41,376
- LOOK.
- POM. POM.
185
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,076
OH, GO, GO, GO, GO. ALMOST, VAL.
186
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:45,309
NICE JOB, LEO.
187
00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:46,647
COME ON. WE GO EAT, NOW.
188
00:06:46,671 --> 00:06:48,409
- WITH LEO,
PEOPLE THINK I'M THE NANNY
189
00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:50,347
BECAUSE HE'S BLONDE
WITH BLUE EYES.
190
00:06:50,371 --> 00:06:52,109
I WAS ON BED REST FOR THIS BABY.
191
00:06:52,133 --> 00:06:54,209
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- COME, GO EAT SOMETHING.
192
00:06:54,233 --> 00:06:55,250
- [laughs]
- PERHAPS THIS WAY.
193
00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:56,443
COME. [chuckles]
194
00:06:56,467 --> 00:06:58,144
- I HAVE TO THANK GOD
EVERY SINGLE DAY
195
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,276
FOR MY HUSBAND
BECAUSE HE IS A TRUE GENTLEMAN
196
00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,609
AND HE'S THE BEST LOVER
IN THE WORLD.
197
00:07:03,633 --> 00:07:05,547
- NO!
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "NO?"
198
00:07:05,571 --> 00:07:06,976
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
HEY, HEY, HEY.
199
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,476
EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
200
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,076
- I THINK MY LIFE DESCRIBED
IN ONE WORD
201
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:13,209
IS SIMPLY "BLESSED."
202
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,976
- I WANT A BANANA.
- NO.
203
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,076
- I WANT A BANANA RIGHT NOW.
204
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,230
- YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.
205
00:07:28,734 --> 00:07:30,311
- DO YOU WANT TO MOVE
THAT STUFF FIRST?
206
00:07:30,335 --> 00:07:34,276
- I SURE DO.
207
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:37,009
SO I WANT TO MOVE THIS.
208
00:07:37,033 --> 00:07:39,643
- THIS IS HEAVY.
- I KNOW.
209
00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,242
YOU CAN PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT.
210
00:07:41,266 --> 00:07:43,109
- PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT.
- I'LL PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT.
211
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:46,109
- YOU PUT YOUR BACK
INTO MY BACK.
212
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,710
- OKAY. ELIZY IS MY SON'S NANNY.
213
00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:52,176
SHE'S LIKE TINKER BELL ON CRACK.
214
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,976
[laughter]
215
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,247
- IT'S LIKE TWO MONKEYS
TRYING TO HUMP A FOOTBALL.
216
00:07:58,271 --> 00:08:00,643
[laughter]
217
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:04,710
- AND SHE IS BUBBLY,
AND SHE'S BEAUTIFUL,
218
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,511
AND I LIKE MY SON TO BE AROUND
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.
219
00:08:07,535 --> 00:08:09,376
- [groans] OKAY.
220
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,042
- I... I CAN'T... [gasps]
221
00:08:12,066 --> 00:08:15,376
DID YOU DO THAT?
- I'M NOT EVEN OVER THERE.
222
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:16,576
DON'T SCARE ME.
223
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,743
- DAVE'S GONNA BE MAD.
224
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:20,744
- LICK IT.
225
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,976
- SPIT POLISH.
226
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,443
- GOOD.
- ALL RIGHT.
227
00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:26,643
CLASSY BITCHES, WE ARE.
228
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:30,209
THIS HOUSE, BY FAR,
IS MY DREAM HOUSE.
229
00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:32,476
I HAVE MY CRYSTAL BALLS.
230
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,543
I HAVE MY CRYSTALS, CROSSES.
231
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:40,643
IT'S ALMOST
CATHEDRAL/GOTHIC/CHURCH.
232
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:43,242
I MEAN, IT'S A CASTLE.
233
00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:45,609
SO THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO.
- OKAY.
234
00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:48,109
- CRYSTAL BALL, AND THEN I WANT
235
00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:50,509
TO DO ROSES AT EITHER SIDE.
236
00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:52,276
- OF THE TABLE.
- YEAH.
237
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:55,276
AND THEN THIS... - NOT TALL?
238
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:56,476
- NO.
- NOT VASES?
239
00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:57,676
LITTLE ONES? - NO, LITTLE ONES.
240
00:08:57,700 --> 00:09:01,076
- SO YOU CAN SEE
EACH OTHER'S FACES?
241
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:05,009
AND HAVE FUN CONVERSATIONS
AND TALK ABOUT LOVE,
242
00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:06,447
AND LIFE, AND EVERYTHING?
243
00:09:06,471 --> 00:09:07,576
THAT'S FUN. - I HOPE SO.
244
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,109
- YAY!
- OW.
245
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,109
[both laugh]
246
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:12,647
I INVITED THESE LADIES TO LUNCH
247
00:09:12,671 --> 00:09:15,044
BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WANTED
TO GET TO KNOW THEM BETTER.
248
00:09:15,068 --> 00:09:18,476
I KNOW I AM NOT THAT COMFORTABLE
WITH KYLE.
249
00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,509
- OH, MY GOD, THERE'S A BEE.
250
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:20,680
SHARON, KILL IT FOR ME
IF YOU LOVE ME.
251
00:09:20,704 --> 00:09:23,242
- NO! DON'T KILL IT.
- OH, WELL.
252
00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:27,409
- I DO HAVE A RESPECT
FOR BASICALLY GOD'S CREATURES,
253
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:28,976
AND ANIMALS ARE IT.
254
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,176
SO ARE BEES AND INSECTS,
APART FROM THE ANTS.
255
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,346
I DON'T LIKE THE ANTS.
256
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:35,244
- WE COULD HAVE ALL THE LADIES
SIT IN THE BED
257
00:09:35,268 --> 00:09:37,142
AND EAT DADDY'S GRILLED CHEESE.
258
00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:39,176
- NICE. JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT.
259
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,076
- BE LIKE, "IF YOU WANT TO SEE
HOW WE REALLY EAT,
260
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,309
THIS IS WHAT WE DO.
WE SIT IN BED..."
261
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:43,580
- THIS IS THE WAY
I WANT TO ROLL.
262
00:09:43,604 --> 00:09:45,609
- "AND WE EAT GRILLED CHEESE."
- CLIMB IN BED.
263
00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:47,643
- [laughs]
- LIKE.
264
00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:48,743
YUMMY.
265
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:50,509
YOU LOOK GOOD, ELIZY.
266
00:09:50,533 --> 00:09:52,376
- I LOVE YOU.
267
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,710
- COMING UP...
268
00:09:53,734 --> 00:09:55,481
- HAVE YOU EVER EXPLORED
WITH WITCHCRAFT?
269
00:09:55,505 --> 00:09:59,130
- REALLY?
270
00:10:10,066 --> 00:10:11,043
- HI, BRIAN.
271
00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:12,443
- HEY, YOLANDA.
- OH, MY GOD.
272
00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:14,476
I'M SO EXHAUSTED.
273
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:16,109
UGH. WHAT A DAY.
274
00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:18,509
HOW ARE YOU?
- I AM ACTUALLY EXCELLENT.
275
00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:21,247
SO HOW DO YOU FEEL
SINCE I SAW YOU LAST?
276
00:10:21,271 --> 00:10:23,109
- UM, I... YOU KNOW, TIRED.
277
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:25,009
LIKE, JUST REALLY...
I THINK I'M...
278
00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:26,309
[coughs] AND MY... AND THAT COUGH
279
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:28,080
IS COMING BACK, SO...
- SORRY, BRIAN.
280
00:10:28,104 --> 00:10:31,176
- SOMETHING IS BOTHERING
MY SYSTEM, BUT...
281
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,509
- OTHER THAN ME?
282
00:10:32,533 --> 00:10:34,979
- OTHER THAN YOU BOTHERING
ME EVERY DAY, YES.
283
00:10:35,003 --> 00:10:38,047
BRIAN HAS A SERVICE
THAT GOES TO PEOPLE'S HOUSES
284
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,476
TO DO HOLISTIC TREATMENTS.
285
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,476
AT THIS POINT, I'LL DO ANYTHING
TO GET MY BRAIN BACK.
286
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,609
TELL ME TO EAT BARK
FOR THE NEXT THREE MONTHS,
287
00:10:45,633 --> 00:10:47,109
AND I WILL.
288
00:10:47,133 --> 00:10:49,279
SOMETIMES YOU SO NICE,
AND SOMETIMES YOU'RE JUST...
289
00:10:49,303 --> 00:10:51,276
- DID I TELL YOU
IT WAS GOING TO BE PAINLESS?
290
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:52,609
- [laughs]
291
00:10:52,633 --> 00:10:55,343
- EVERY OTHER TIME,
IT'S PAINLESS.
292
00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:58,543
- MY RECOVERY IS A PART
OF MY EVERYDAY LIFE,
293
00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:01,609
AND I THINK IT WAS
HEARTBREAKING FOR GIGI,
294
00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:04,509
AS MY OLDEST DAUGHTER, TO SEE ME
295
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,547
ALMOST DYING FROM LYME DISEASE.
296
00:11:06,571 --> 00:11:08,144
- HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE
TO DO THIS FOR?
297
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:12,743
- WELL, JUST, YOU KNOW,
UNTIL I START FEELING BETTER.
298
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:15,409
I MEAN, I'M ABOUT 70%.
299
00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:18,409
IT REALLY REDEFINED
HER RELATIONSHIPS
300
00:11:18,433 --> 00:11:19,647
WITH HER BROTHER AND SISTER.
301
00:11:19,671 --> 00:11:21,276
ALL OF A SUDDEN, SHE HAD TO BE
302
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,276
THE BIG SISTER
AND TAKE CARE OF THEM,
303
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,576
SO IT REALLY CHANGED
THE DYNAMICS
304
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,145
WITHIN OUR WHOLE FAMILY.
305
00:11:27,169 --> 00:11:29,276
THANK YOU, BRIAN.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
306
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,509
- MM.
307
00:11:30,533 --> 00:11:32,576
- ISN'T IT GOOD?
308
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,209
- LIKE ONCE YOU'RE IN NEW YORK,
309
00:11:34,233 --> 00:11:35,509
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO COOK
EVERY DAY YOURSELF.
310
00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:37,047
- I LOVE THAT.
- OH, YEAH?
311
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,142
- YEAH, LIKE GOING SHOPPING
FOR MY OWN FOOD
312
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,143
IS GONNA MAKE ME SO HAPPY.
313
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:43,509
EVERYTHING IN MY PANTRY
IS WHAT I WANT.
314
00:11:43,533 --> 00:11:45,309
I'M EXCITED. - YEAH.
315
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:46,710
GIGI'S LEAVING
THE END OF THE SUMMER
316
00:11:46,734 --> 00:11:48,543
TO GO TO COLLEGE
IN NEW YORK CITY.
317
00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:49,509
IT'S A BIG STEP.
318
00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:50,976
IT'S GONNA BE HARD
319
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,376
NOT HAVING HER ENERGY
IN THIS HOUSE.
320
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,576
SHE'S... YOU KNOW, SHE'S HERE.
321
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,045
SHE'S LOVING. SHE'S FUN.
322
00:11:56,069 --> 00:11:58,576
SHE'S MOTIVATING FOR
THE OTHER KIDS AS WELL
323
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,509
BECAUSE SHE'S A BALL-BUSTER,
324
00:12:00,533 --> 00:12:03,576
AND SHE GOES OUT
FOR WHAT SHE WANTS.
325
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,646
WHEN YOU GO TO NEW YORK, GIGI,
I REMEMBER
326
00:12:05,670 --> 00:12:07,743
JUST GOING TO WALK ON
THE STREET,
327
00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:09,643
AND I COULD FEEL THE ENERGY
OF THE PEOPLE.
328
00:12:09,667 --> 00:12:12,343
AND EVERYBODY'S THERE
FIGHTING FOR THEIR DREAM,
329
00:12:12,367 --> 00:12:14,042
AND WORKING,
AND GETTING UP EARLY, AND...
330
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,676
- YEAH, WELL THAT'S WHY
I'M GOING TO COLLEGE
331
00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:18,042
TO STUDY CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY
332
00:12:18,066 --> 00:12:19,576
BUT I'M MODELING
AT THE SAME TIME...
333
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,045
- I KNOW.
- AND LIKE...
334
00:12:21,069 --> 00:12:22,676
- IN HOLLAND,
YOU COULD NEVER DO THAT.
335
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,446
LIKE, YOU WOULD EITHER GO
TO COLLEGE AND STUDY,
336
00:12:25,470 --> 00:12:27,209
OR YOU WOULD HAVE A CAREER
IN MODELING.
337
00:12:27,233 --> 00:12:29,650
LIKE FOR ME, I NEVER THOUGHT
I COULD HAVE BOTH.
338
00:12:29,674 --> 00:12:32,209
I HAD TO WORK
BECAUSE WE WERE POOR.
339
00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:34,050
WE DIDN'T HAVE MONEY FOR ME
TO GO TO COLLEGE,
340
00:12:34,074 --> 00:12:37,109
AND I NEEDED TO SUPPORT MY MOM
AND MY FAMILY.
341
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:40,476
AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS HUNGRY.
342
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:42,576
YOU BETTER ENJOY
THOSE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS
343
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,609
OF YOUR MOMMY SMOTHERING YOU.
344
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:45,610
- I KNOW.
345
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:46,647
GIRL, YOU BETTER ENJOY
346
00:12:46,671 --> 00:12:48,309
THE LAST COUPLE MONTHS
OF ME BECAUSE
347
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:50,679
YOU'RE GONNA WALK IN MY ROOM,
IT'S GONNA BE SO QUIET.
348
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,609
- I'LL BE CRYING. OH, MY GOD.
349
00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:55,279
IT'S NOT THAT IT'S
THE FIRST TIME WE ARE APART.
350
00:12:55,303 --> 00:12:57,676
BUT, YOU KNOW, THIS TIME,
IT'S FOR REAL.
351
00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:59,343
OF COURSE I'M GONNA CRY
MY EYES OUT
352
00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:00,344
WHEN THE DAY COMES.
353
00:13:00,368 --> 00:13:01,576
I MEAN, JUST THE THOUGHT OF IT
354
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:05,076
MAKES ME WANT TO CRY.
355
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,176
I'M SAD.
356
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,643
- ARE YOU CRYING?
- YEAH.
357
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,176
I JUST GOT SAD,
THE THOUGHT OF YOU LEAVING.
358
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,547
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
SOMETIMES EVERYONE'S LIKE,
359
00:13:11,571 --> 00:13:12,576
"WHY ARE SUCH A CRIER?"
360
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:13,976
I'M LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW."
361
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,976
AND THEN, OBVIOUSLY,
'CAUSE YOU CAN CRY OFF
362
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,743
LIKE A FRICKIN' DROP OF A PIN.
363
00:13:18,767 --> 00:13:20,209
- WELL, IT'S NOT
A DROP OF A PIN.
364
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,643
- [laughs]
- YOU'RE MY BABY...
365
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,144
- WELL, I'M NOT GONE, YET.
- AND YOU'RE LEAVING ME.
366
00:13:23,168 --> 00:13:24,976
YEAH, BUT IT'S SAD, YOU KNOW?
367
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,476
- [laughs] YEAH.
368
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,430
I LOVE YOU. - I LOVE YOU, BABY.
369
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,279
- HI.
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
370
00:13:39,303 --> 00:13:41,976
- GOOD, I THINK A RESERVATION
FOR JONATHAN?
371
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,142
- FOR TWO, RIGHT?
- YEAH. THANKS.
372
00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:48,109
THANK YOU.
373
00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:49,650
- DO YOU WANT A BEVERAGE
WHILE YOU'RE WAITING?
374
00:13:49,674 --> 00:13:52,609
- I WOULD LOVE... DO YOU HAVE
A ROSE THAT'S NOT SPARKLY?
375
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:53,650
- MM-HMM.
- PERFECT.
376
00:13:53,674 --> 00:13:57,097
I'LL HAVE THAT. THANK YOU.
377
00:13:59,133 --> 00:14:00,247
- HEY.
- OH, HELLO.
378
00:14:00,271 --> 00:14:02,176
I WAS LOOKING FOR THE WAITER.
379
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,276
- HOW WE DOING?
380
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,643
- YEAH, I WAS...
I WAS LIKE, "I NEED MY WATER."
381
00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:08,276
HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD.
382
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:10,376
I ALWAYS GET WORRIED WHEN
I GET THE DOUBLE KISS HELLO.
383
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,547
- BUT I ALWAYS DO
THE DOUBLE KISS.
384
00:14:12,571 --> 00:14:14,576
I THINK I DO. - NO.
385
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:18,042
- J.R. IS A PAIN IN MY ASS.
386
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:21,676
BUT IT'S HARD BECAUSE YOU GET
ATTACHED TO SOMEONE,
387
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:23,176
AND THEN YOU'RE USED
TO HAVING SOMEONE AROUND
388
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,476
WHEN THE KIDS AREN'T AROUND.
389
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:27,009
AND THEN IT'S LIKE
LONELY, CRICKETS.
390
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,309
SO THEN HE COMES BACK
FOR VISITS.
391
00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:31,676
ARE YOU HUNGRY? - YES.
392
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,176
- HAVE A DRINK 'CAUSE WE NEED
TO HAVE A CONVERSATION.
393
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,347
- OH, ARE WE GONNA HAVE
THE TALK?
394
00:14:36,371 --> 00:14:38,597
- UM...
395
00:14:40,467 --> 00:14:41,976
[sighs]
396
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,347
YOU'RE THE FIRST GUY
THE BOYS HAVE MET
397
00:14:43,371 --> 00:14:46,509
IN LIKE A LONG TIME,
BUT THEY OBVIOUSLY KNOW YOU
398
00:14:46,533 --> 00:14:49,309
AS MY FRIEND,
THE REAL ESTATE AGENT,
399
00:14:49,333 --> 00:14:50,747
AND THEY REALLY LIKE YOU.
400
00:14:50,771 --> 00:14:52,609
- I'VE ENJOYED IT.
THE KIDS ARE GREAT.
401
00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:55,509
IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE
TO BE AROUND THEM.
402
00:14:55,533 --> 00:14:56,976
- OH, THANK YOU.
403
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,176
- THE ROUND ONES ARE
THE CALAMARI,
404
00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:59,509
AND THE HALF ONES
ARE THE SHRIMP.
405
00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,309
- THANKS A LOT.
406
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,176
- I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU
AS A FRIEND.
407
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,447
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
AND I REALLY...
408
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,576
'CAUSE I WANT YOU IN MY LIFE,
409
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:10,100
BUT I THINK THAT IT'S OVER.
410
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:17,409
- I THINK YOU'RE GREAT.
- DITTO.
411
00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:20,543
- AND I ENJOY SPENDING TIME
WITH YOU
412
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:22,076
AND ALL THE TIME
WE SPEND TOGETHER.
413
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,245
AND I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO TURN IT OFF RIGHT AWAY.
414
00:15:24,269 --> 00:15:26,176
- UNLESS YOU GO TO TEXAS
AND FORGET TO TELL ME
415
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,209
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO TEXAS,
'CAUSE THAT'S ALWAYS FUN.
416
00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:29,242
- RIGHT.
417
00:15:29,266 --> 00:15:31,276
- NO ONE JUST
ALL OF A SUDDEN SAYS,
418
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:32,747
"OH, BY THE WAY,
I JUST GOT ON AN AIRPLANE,
419
00:15:32,771 --> 00:15:34,009
AND I'M GOING TO TEXAS."
420
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,180
YOU DIDN'T BOOK THAT ON FRIDAY.
421
00:15:35,204 --> 00:15:36,476
YOU HAVE TO PLAN THAT [bleep].
422
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,176
WITH ALL YOUR COUPLE FRIENDS,
AND YOU DON'T TELL ME,
423
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,609
AND I'M NOT INVITED,
AND IT'S LAST MINUTE,
424
00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:41,976
"OH, BY THE WAY,
I'M ON A PLANE?"
425
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,409
- THIS AWESOME THING IS REALLY...
THIS IS...
426
00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:44,410
THIS IS THE CRUX
OF IT ALL, ISN'T IT?
427
00:15:44,434 --> 00:15:46,209
- EXTREMELY ANNOYING.
428
00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:48,479
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER.
429
00:15:48,503 --> 00:15:50,009
AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE?
430
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:53,209
SO, OF COURSE,
IT TRIGGERS MY TRUST ISSUES.
431
00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:55,179
- THERE WASN'T ANYTHING SHADY,
BUT I'M SORRY.
432
00:15:55,203 --> 00:15:58,176
- YOU WENT ON A "COUPLES' TRIP"
AS A SINGLE GUY
433
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,509
WHEN WE WERE DATING,
WHICH IS A BIG DEAL FOR ME.
434
00:16:01,533 --> 00:16:03,309
- CLEARLY.
- YEAH.
435
00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,450
IT'S A DEAL-BREAKER.
436
00:16:04,474 --> 00:16:08,276
I ABSOLUTELY HAVE A LOT
OF [bleep] UP ISSUES.
437
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,976
ALL RIGHT, WE SHOULD GO.
- I AGREE.
438
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,446
- YEAH, SO LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE.
439
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,443
I DON'T TRUST ANYONE,
AND I'D RATHER
440
00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:16,244
BREAK UP WITH THEM
THAN HAVE THEM BREAK UP WITH ME.
441
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:18,176
SO I'M ALL [bleep] UP, YEAH.
442
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,476
WELCOME TO DIVORCE, BITCH.
443
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,747
I KIND OF AM A LITTLE TIPSY.
444
00:16:21,771 --> 00:16:24,697
YOU'RE DRIVING ME HOME, RIGHT?
- YES.
445
00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:34,543
[dial tone rings]
446
00:16:34,567 --> 00:16:36,109
- HELLO?
- HI, DARLING.
447
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:38,209
IT'S ME.
448
00:16:38,233 --> 00:16:40,047
- HI, MOMMY. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
449
00:16:40,071 --> 00:16:42,743
- I'M OKAY.
I'M STILL NOT FEELING GREAT.
450
00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:46,409
DANCING WITH THE STARS
IS SO PHYSICALLY TAXING.
451
00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:50,142
I'M GOING TO THE STUDIO NOW,
YOU KNOW, TO...
452
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,409
- YOU SHOULD BE IN BED,
NOT DANCING.
453
00:16:52,433 --> 00:16:54,480
- IN ONE WAY, IT WOULD BE GOOD
TO BE VOTED OFF
454
00:16:54,504 --> 00:16:58,309
BECAUSE I FEEL ABSOLUTELY
EXHAUSTED, DEPLETED.
455
00:16:58,333 --> 00:16:59,409
MY GLANDS ARE HURTING.
456
00:16:59,433 --> 00:17:02,009
I STILL GOT A TEMPERATURE.
457
00:17:02,033 --> 00:17:03,209
BUT IT'S A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD
458
00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:05,579
BECAUSE NOBODY REALLY WANTS
TO GO HOME.
459
00:17:05,603 --> 00:17:08,209
IT'S GOING TO BE FINE.
- TEXT ME BEFORE YOU GO ON,
460
00:17:08,233 --> 00:17:10,409
AND I'LL... I'LL TRY AND SEE YOU
BEFORE YOU GO ON.
461
00:17:10,433 --> 00:17:11,550
AND THEN,
I'LL SEE YOU AFTERWARDS.
462
00:17:11,574 --> 00:17:14,144
- COME TO THE TRAILER.
BRING THE SEX MONSTER.
463
00:17:14,168 --> 00:17:15,576
- I WILL.
464
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,676
- THE SEX MONSTER NOT BEING
YOUR FATHER, BY THE WAY.
465
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,176
[laughs]
466
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,547
- OH, DEAR. THANKS FOR THAT.
467
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:24,127
[laughs]
468
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:29,209
- FROM HOLLYWOOD, THIS IS
DANCING WITH THE STARS.
469
00:17:29,233 --> 00:17:33,343
[cheers and applause]
470
00:17:33,367 --> 00:17:35,476
- I COULD HAVE ACTUALLY SKIPPED
THE DANCE
471
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,409
AND REALLY KIND OF BOWED OUT
OF IT.
472
00:17:37,433 --> 00:17:39,142
NOBODY EXPECTED ME TO DANCE,
473
00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:41,042
AND MY DOCTOR SAID,
"I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD."
474
00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:43,042
- THE COUPLE WITH
THE LOWEST COMBINED TOTAL
475
00:17:43,066 --> 00:17:44,343
OF SCORES AND VOTES
AND THEREFORE
476
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,576
LEAVING RIGHT NOW IS...
477
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:47,710
- I THOUGHT,
"YOU KNOW, SCREW IT.
478
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,151
"I'M GONNA PUT MYSELF OUT THERE
479
00:17:49,175 --> 00:17:51,176
AND LET THE AUDIENCE DECIDE."
480
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,443
- LISA AND GLEB.
481
00:17:52,467 --> 00:17:54,443
All: AW.
482
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:55,576
- I WAS OKAY WITH IT.
483
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,242
I ACTUALLY DON'T THINK
484
00:17:58,266 --> 00:17:59,643
I WOULD HAVE HAD THE REST
485
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:01,176
THAT I PROBABLY NEED THIS WEEK
486
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,376
IF I WAS GONNA CARRY ON.
487
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,609
- DO YOU FEEL RELIEVED?
488
00:18:03,633 --> 00:18:05,279
- I MEAN, I'M SOMEWHAT RELIEVED
489
00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:06,476
BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE HONEST,
490
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,446
THIS WEEK'S BEEN
SO DIFFICULT FOR ME
491
00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:09,476
KIND OF PHYSICALLY.
492
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,470
- CHA-CHA...
493
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,346
- MOSTLY ONLINE, I'VE SEEN A LOT
OF SUPPORT FOR YOU,
494
00:18:16,370 --> 00:18:17,976
AND THEY'RE HAPPY YOU DANCED.
495
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,670
THERE ARE A FEW CYNICS THAT
SUGGESTED THAT IT WAS FAKED.
496
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,343
- OH, WELL, THAT'S BULL-[bleep].
497
00:18:25,367 --> 00:18:26,543
NOT INTERESTED.
498
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,543
IF I CARED
WHAT PEOPLE SAID REALLY,
499
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,309
WOULD I BE IN
THIS STUPID GAME ANYWAY?
500
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,409
GIVE ME A BREAK.
501
00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:33,209
I DON'T REALLY CARE,
TO BE HONEST.
502
00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:35,176
IS THAT A TERRIBLE THING?
503
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,476
- HEY.
- HEY.
504
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,476
- SO GOOD.
- GREAT JOB.
505
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,176
- YOU JUST HOPE YOUR FRIENDS
SUPPORT YOU.
506
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,109
BUT THE REST OF THE WORLD
CAN BUGGER OFF.
507
00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,309
- [laughs]
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
508
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,176
IT'S BEEN AMAZING.
509
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,509
I MEAN, IT REALLY HAS.
510
00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:49,250
IT'S BEEN
AN INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE.
511
00:18:49,274 --> 00:18:52,343
- IF YOU'D DONE
THAT CHA-CHA HEALTHY...
512
00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:53,376
- WATCH OUT.
- WATCH OUT.
513
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,276
- IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
514
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,476
- AMAZING, I THOUGHT YOU WERE.
515
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,547
- YEAH, YOU WERE GREAT.
- YOU WERE GREAT.
516
00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,109
- I DON'T THINK
YOU SHOULD HAVE...
517
00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:00,580
THEY SHOULD HAVE
VOTED YOU OFF, ACTUALLY.
518
00:19:00,604 --> 00:19:03,346
- SIX WEEKS, WE SET ASIDE
EVERYTHING FOR SIX WEEKS.
519
00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:05,076
- WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOU.
- I KNOW.
520
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,209
- THIS IS HOW YOU GO OUT
FOR DINNER, LIKE THIS?
521
00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:07,979
YOU JUST PUT IT OVER
YOUR CHA-CHA UNIFORM?
522
00:19:08,003 --> 00:19:10,276
- YEAH, EXACTLY, I'M GONNA
CHA-CHA MY WAY OUT OF HERE.
523
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:13,609
BUT IT'S BEEN... I CAN GO BACK
TO BEING YOUR WIFE.
524
00:19:13,633 --> 00:19:16,050
I'VE BEEN A LOUSY MOTHER,
A LOUSY FRIEND,
525
00:19:16,074 --> 00:19:19,042
A LOUSY WIFE,
A LOUSY BUSINESSWOMAN.
526
00:19:19,066 --> 00:19:22,109
MY WHOLE LIFE WAS ON HOLD JUST
FOR DANCING WITH THE STARS.
527
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:24,009
BUT WOW, WHAT AN EXPERIENCE.
528
00:19:24,033 --> 00:19:25,147
- I THINK YOU GET THE AWARD
529
00:19:25,171 --> 00:19:27,343
FOR THE COOLEST MOTHER
EVER, ACTUALLY.
530
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,109
- AND THE COOLEST WIFE.
531
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:30,409
- COMING UP....
532
00:19:30,433 --> 00:19:32,747
- LET'S TALK ABOUT LISA
ON DANCING WITH THE STARS.
533
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:35,509
- I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE FAINT
SO PRETTY AND PERFECT.
534
00:19:35,533 --> 00:19:39,009
[sighs]
535
00:19:39,033 --> 00:19:41,103
[laughs]
536
00:19:50,166 --> 00:19:52,109
- ELIZY?
537
00:19:52,133 --> 00:19:54,443
- YEAH?
538
00:19:54,467 --> 00:19:57,309
- IRONICALLY, I DON'T THINK
I HAVE ENOUGH ALCOHOL.
539
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:58,509
- REALLY?
- NO.
540
00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:01,343
- MOST LADIES DRINK WHITE WINE
OR CHAMPAGNE.
541
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,643
I DON'T KNOW.
- I HAVE WHITE WINE.
542
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,976
- OKAY.
I LOVE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING.
543
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,976
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.
544
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,009
- YAY.
- I LOVE YOU.
545
00:20:08,033 --> 00:20:09,209
- [laughs]
- I DO.
546
00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:12,042
- [bleep]
- ARE YOU EXCITED FOR TODAY?
547
00:20:12,066 --> 00:20:14,042
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
548
00:20:14,066 --> 00:20:16,096
YEAH.
549
00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:22,109
[door closes]
550
00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:24,009
- HI.
- HI.
551
00:20:24,033 --> 00:20:25,580
- OH, YOU GOT THE GIFT?
- I HAVE A GIFT.
552
00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:27,242
- OH, GOOD.
553
00:20:27,266 --> 00:20:28,443
- MWAH.
- OOH.
554
00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:30,109
OH, OH. [laughs]
555
00:20:30,133 --> 00:20:31,180
- I'M NOT KISSING BOTH
OF YOUR CHEEKS.
556
00:20:31,204 --> 00:20:32,476
YOU'RE MY SISTER.
557
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,176
- HI.
- HI.
558
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,409
- HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, YOU LOOK PRETTY.
559
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:37,480
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW ARE YOU? GOOD?
560
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:38,710
- GOOD.
- HELLO.
561
00:20:38,734 --> 00:20:40,476
MWAH. MWAH. [laughs]
562
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,509
- LOOK HOW TALL I AM.
- WHAT?
563
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,080
- IT'S A BLACK PARTY ALMOST,
EXCEPT FOR...
564
00:20:44,104 --> 00:20:46,245
- I KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT...
- CO... COLORFUL HAIR.
565
00:20:46,269 --> 00:20:48,009
- I LOVE IT.
- NOT FOR YOU.
566
00:20:48,033 --> 00:20:50,543
- OH. THANK YOU SO MUCH,
567
00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:52,209
- I'M LIKE, "NICE."
SHOULD WE OPEN IT?
568
00:20:52,233 --> 00:20:53,609
- WE CAN,
569
00:20:53,633 --> 00:20:54,750
BUT THEN I WON'T HAVE ANYTHING
TO GIVE CARLTON.
570
00:20:54,774 --> 00:20:56,209
- OH, NEVER MIND. [laughter]
571
00:20:56,233 --> 00:20:58,509
- I FIND CARLTON TO BE LIKE
A LITTLE DARK AND EDGY,
572
00:20:58,533 --> 00:21:00,409
AND I LIKE THAT,
SO I'M THINKING HER HOUSE
573
00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,279
IS GONNA BE
A LITTLE DARK AND EDGY.
574
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:03,710
LISA IS AT THE RESTAURANT.
575
00:21:03,734 --> 00:21:06,011
SHE'S GONNA COME LATE, AND
YOLANDA'S DRIVING BY HERSELF.
576
00:21:06,035 --> 00:21:07,042
SO...
577
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,242
- WHY IS YOLANDA GOING
BY HERSELF?
578
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:09,509
- WELL, SHE'S COMING
FROM MALIBU,
579
00:21:09,533 --> 00:21:11,580
SO IT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE
FOR HER TO COME UP HERE.
580
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,710
PLUS, SHE HATES YOU. - YEAH.
581
00:21:13,734 --> 00:21:17,042
- SO THERE'S ALWAYS THAT.
- NO LOVE LOST THERE.
582
00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:18,710
- WE COULD ACTUALLY MIX
THIS WHOLE THING TOGETHER.
583
00:21:18,734 --> 00:21:20,042
- OKAY.
584
00:21:20,066 --> 00:21:21,710
WHOO! OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
585
00:21:21,734 --> 00:21:23,142
- MY KIND OF SALAD.
586
00:21:23,166 --> 00:21:24,643
I DON'T COOK IN THE KITCHEN.
587
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:26,343
THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE I COOK.
588
00:21:26,367 --> 00:21:30,309
- I CAN'T FIND
A CHAMPAGNE BUCKET ANYWHERE.
589
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:31,250
- I KNOW I HAVE ONE.
590
00:21:31,274 --> 00:21:33,443
ELIZY IS GOING TO DOUBLE
591
00:21:33,467 --> 00:21:35,543
AS ONE OF MY SERVERS TODAY.
592
00:21:35,567 --> 00:21:37,376
AND THEN I HAVE ANOTHER
GIRLFRIEND, CARLYN,
593
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,609
ALSO HELPING WITH THE SERVING.
594
00:21:38,633 --> 00:21:40,009
WELL, I LOVE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN,
595
00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:42,076
AND THAT'S
WHAT I SURROUND MYSELF WITH.
596
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,047
- YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A THING
OF MAYONNAISE ON THE TABLE,
597
00:21:44,071 --> 00:21:46,142
AND THEY'RE GONNA BE LIKE,
"WHAT IS GOING ON?"
598
00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:47,476
- I'M [bleep] ENGLISH.
599
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:50,700
I EAT [bleep] MAYONNAISE
WITH EVERYTHING.
600
00:21:53,633 --> 00:21:55,633
[doorbell rings]
601
00:21:58,667 --> 00:22:00,376
- HELLO?
602
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,009
- HI. OH, MY GOD.
603
00:22:02,033 --> 00:22:03,010
YOU LOOK STUNNING.
604
00:22:03,034 --> 00:22:04,409
- HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
605
00:22:04,433 --> 00:22:05,650
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
606
00:22:05,674 --> 00:22:07,643
YOU'RE LOOKING GREAT.
- THANK YOU.
607
00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:09,609
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
MY FAVORITE CANDLE.
608
00:22:09,633 --> 00:22:11,380
THERE'S TIMES
WHEN YOU MEET A WOMAN
609
00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:14,142
THAT YOU'RE INSTANTLY
ATTRACTED TO,
610
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,443
AND I HAD THAT WITH CARLTON.
611
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:16,676
- THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND, A.C.
612
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:18,209
- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, A.C.
613
00:22:18,233 --> 00:22:20,047
I'M YOLANDA.
- VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
614
00:22:20,071 --> 00:22:22,009
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- JUST ONE WATER, BABY.
615
00:22:22,033 --> 00:22:23,409
- THAT'S IT?
- YEAH.
616
00:22:23,433 --> 00:22:24,609
- THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT HER
617
00:22:24,633 --> 00:22:29,009
THAT IS VERY GROUNDED AND REAL
THAT I LIKE.
618
00:22:29,033 --> 00:22:31,009
SO HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD.
619
00:22:31,033 --> 00:22:32,276
- YOU'RE GOOD?
- YEAH.
620
00:22:32,300 --> 00:22:33,409
- HOW ARE THE KIDS?
- LOVELY.
621
00:22:33,433 --> 00:22:35,579
- AND DESTINY IS... IS HOW OLD?
12?
622
00:22:35,603 --> 00:22:37,746
- UM, SHE'S GONNA BE 11 IN JUNE.
623
00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:39,743
- MY GIGI, MY OLDEST ONE,
IS MOVING TO NEW YORK.
624
00:22:39,767 --> 00:22:41,976
- HOW OLD IS SHE AGAIN?
- 18.
625
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,409
JUST TURNED 18.
626
00:22:43,433 --> 00:22:44,679
- MY SON JUST TURNED TOO.
627
00:22:44,703 --> 00:22:46,609
- SO SPECIAL, OOH.
BOYS ARE SO YUMMY.
628
00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:48,609
- I KNOW. I DO THAT TO MY SON.
629
00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:50,209
- SO CUTE.
- SO INAPPROPRIATE.
630
00:22:50,233 --> 00:22:51,242
- ISN'T IT?
631
00:22:51,266 --> 00:22:52,643
- WELL, I ASKED
FOR HIS TONGUE, SO...
632
00:22:52,667 --> 00:22:54,576
- [laughs] YOU DIDN'T.
633
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,209
- DID TOO.
- OH, MY GOD.
634
00:22:56,233 --> 00:22:57,280
- YOU CAN'T DO THAT MUCH LONGER.
635
00:22:57,304 --> 00:22:58,409
[laughter]
636
00:22:58,433 --> 00:23:00,047
THAT IS NAUGHTY. - YOU'RE FUNNY.
637
00:23:00,071 --> 00:23:02,443
YOLANDA HAS A GREAT SENSE
OF HUMOR, WHICH I LOVE.
638
00:23:02,467 --> 00:23:05,376
I LOVE A WOMAN THAT IS SECURE
IN HERSELF,
639
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,676
THAT CAN LAUGH AT HERSELF,
640
00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:09,576
AND DOESN'T TAKE THINGS
TOO SERIOUSLY.
641
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:13,576
- SO LAST NIGHT,
OUR NEW PUPPY HAS HAD DIARRHEA.
642
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,576
SO I PUT HER IN
SOPHIA'S BATHROOM
643
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:16,609
'CAUSE IT'S ALL TILE.
644
00:23:16,633 --> 00:23:18,650
3:30 IN THE MORNING, I WAKE UP.
645
00:23:18,674 --> 00:23:20,176
DIARRHEA EVERYWHERE.
646
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,209
3:30 IN THE MORNING,
HAVING TO CLEAN IT UP.
647
00:23:22,233 --> 00:23:23,550
- PUPPIES ARE HARDER
THAN BABIES.
648
00:23:23,574 --> 00:23:25,543
- THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HER.
- I REALLY THINK SO.
649
00:23:25,567 --> 00:23:28,009
- BRANDI, 1,000%.
650
00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:30,047
ANYWAY, LET'S HAVE
A BETTER CONVERSATION.
651
00:23:30,071 --> 00:23:32,409
THIS IS A VERY
GLAMOROUS CONVERSATION.
652
00:23:32,433 --> 00:23:34,409
OKAY, LET'S TALK ABOUT
MORE INTERESTING THINGS.
653
00:23:34,433 --> 00:23:36,710
LET'S TALK ABOUT LISA
ON DANCING WITH THE STARS.
654
00:23:36,734 --> 00:23:38,648
- DID YOU GUYS WATCH LAST NIGHT?
- NO.
655
00:23:38,672 --> 00:23:40,009
- I DID.
- WHAT HAPPENED?
656
00:23:40,033 --> 00:23:41,209
- OH, IT WAS GOOD.
I MEAN, IT WASN'T GOOD.
657
00:23:41,233 --> 00:23:42,380
SHE GOT ELIMINATED. SORRY.
658
00:23:42,404 --> 00:23:43,643
- AW.
- NO.
659
00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,309
BUT I THINK
THAT SHE WAS SO EXHAUSTED.
660
00:23:45,333 --> 00:23:46,976
I THINK SHE REALLY WANTED
TO GO HOME.
661
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:48,647
- I THINK SO TOO.
- YEAH SHE WAS JUST LIKE...
662
00:23:48,671 --> 00:23:50,209
- SHE WAS LIKE,
"GET ME OUT OF HERE."
663
00:23:50,233 --> 00:23:51,309
- SHE WAS LIKE...
- SHE'S LIKE, "WHATEVER."
664
00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:53,079
- SHE DID HER LITTLE FAINT
AND WAS LIKE...
665
00:23:53,103 --> 00:23:55,247
"OH, I HAVE
AN E-TICKET OUT OF HERE."
666
00:23:55,271 --> 00:23:56,676
- SHE FAINTED?
667
00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:59,346
- I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE FAINT
SO PRETTY AND PERFECT.
668
00:23:59,370 --> 00:24:01,276
[laughter]
IT WAS A PRINCESS FAINT.
669
00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:03,476
SHE FELL LIKE THIS. [sighs]
670
00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:05,346
- CLEARLY KIM AND I ARE NOT
THE ONLY ONES
671
00:24:05,370 --> 00:24:07,009
WHO ARE SUSPICIOUS
OF LISA'S FAINT,
672
00:24:07,033 --> 00:24:10,242
BECAUSE BRANDI DEFINITELY HAS
HER OPINIONS
673
00:24:10,266 --> 00:24:12,443
ABOUT LISA'S
"PERFECT FAINT" TOO.
674
00:24:12,467 --> 00:24:15,042
- WAS IT A FAKE FAINT?
I WANT TO SEE IT.
675
00:24:15,066 --> 00:24:16,409
- WELL, YOU HAVE TO DECIDE
FOR YOURSELF.
676
00:24:16,433 --> 00:24:18,247
FOR ME LIKE JUST WATCHING IT,
677
00:24:18,271 --> 00:24:20,609
I WAS LIKE, "ARE YOU SURE
YOU DIDN'T JUST WANT TO LEAVE?"
678
00:24:20,633 --> 00:24:23,280
AND SHE'S LIKE,
"BRANDI, I HURT MY SHOULDER
679
00:24:23,304 --> 00:24:25,142
"SO HARD GOING DOWN.
680
00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:26,576
"I HAD ALL THE BODY WEIGHT
681
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,009
ON MY SHOULDER WHEN I FELL."
682
00:24:28,033 --> 00:24:30,209
I'M LIKE,
"HE WAS HOLDING YOUR HAND."
683
00:24:30,233 --> 00:24:31,609
[laughter] - TO THE VERY END.
684
00:24:31,633 --> 00:24:35,409
SHE WAS HOLDING HIS...
THEY LIKE...
685
00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:37,433
[sighs] OH.
686
00:24:39,233 --> 00:24:41,233
[laughs]
687
00:24:43,367 --> 00:24:44,643
- THIS LOOKS LIKE A...
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
688
00:24:44,667 --> 00:24:45,743
IT LOOKS VERY GOTH.
- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
689
00:24:45,767 --> 00:24:47,176
- IT'S VERY GOTH. I LIKE IT.
690
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,242
- MY GOSH.
691
00:24:49,266 --> 00:24:51,509
IT'S LIKE A...
692
00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:53,743
- LIKE A CHURCH.
- BLESSED BE.
693
00:24:53,767 --> 00:24:55,710
- CARLTON'S HOUSE IS INCREDIBLE.
694
00:24:55,734 --> 00:24:57,311
IT LOOKS LIKE A BABY CASTLE.
695
00:24:57,335 --> 00:24:58,979
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN
A MOVIE SET,
696
00:24:59,003 --> 00:25:00,547
LIKE THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK.
697
00:25:00,571 --> 00:25:03,343
I'M THE BLOND ONE, MICHELLE.
698
00:25:03,367 --> 00:25:05,376
- AND WHAT IS THIS?
LIKE A CRYSTAL BALL.
699
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,647
- WE'RE AT HARRY POTTER'S HOUSE.
700
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:08,142
[laughter]
701
00:25:08,166 --> 00:25:09,543
- AREN'T WE SUPPOSED
TO JUST WALK IN?
702
00:25:09,567 --> 00:25:10,476
- I DON'T KNOW HER
WELL ENOUGH YET.
703
00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:11,746
- HI, SORRY. all: HI.
704
00:25:11,770 --> 00:25:13,343
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HELLO.
705
00:25:13,367 --> 00:25:14,743
- WE'RE ALL TRYING
TO BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE.
706
00:25:14,767 --> 00:25:17,276
- NICE TO SEE YOU.
- NICE TO SEE YOU, HOW ARE YOU?
707
00:25:17,300 --> 00:25:20,576
- HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING
FROM MY SISTER, KIM, AND ME.
708
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,443
- WOW, THIS IS GORGEOUS.
709
00:25:23,467 --> 00:25:25,076
- MWAH. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
710
00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:26,176
- THIS IS FOR YOU.
- THANK YOU.
711
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:27,443
- IT'S ALCOHOL.
712
00:25:27,467 --> 00:25:28,676
- BEAUTIFUL HOUSE.
- THIS IS AMAZING.
713
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:30,409
IT'S LIKE A CASTLE.
- I LOVE YOUR HOME.
714
00:25:30,433 --> 00:25:32,548
- I WAS SAYING IT'S VERY GOTH.
IT'S VERY ROCK AND ROLL.
715
00:25:32,572 --> 00:25:33,576
I LOVE IT, BEAUTIFUL.
- THANK YOU.
716
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,643
- HI.
- HELLO.
717
00:25:36,667 --> 00:25:37,644
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.
718
00:25:37,668 --> 00:25:40,176
- HI, MAMI.
- MWAH.
719
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,045
HOW ARE YOU? - HOW ARE YOU?
720
00:25:42,069 --> 00:25:45,176
- GORGEOUS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
721
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,276
- WHEN I SAW YOLANDA AT MY HOUSE
722
00:25:46,300 --> 00:25:47,710
FOR THE CHAMBER
OF COMMERCE PARTY,
723
00:25:47,734 --> 00:25:50,009
IT WAS ABSOLUTELY UNCOMFORTABLE.
724
00:25:50,033 --> 00:25:51,409
- HAVE YOU SAID HELLO TO KYLE?
725
00:25:51,433 --> 00:25:52,980
- NO, WE JUST WALKED IN.
- OKAY.
726
00:25:53,004 --> 00:25:54,343
- OH, LORD.
727
00:25:54,367 --> 00:25:56,976
- BUT I FEEL LIKE
WE ALREADY BROKE THE ICE.
728
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,309
AND HOPEFULLY,
WE CAN JUST MOVE FORWARD.
729
00:26:00,333 --> 00:26:01,710
- DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A DRINK?
- YES.
730
00:26:01,734 --> 00:26:03,151
OH, MY GOD, THIS IS...
- DO YOU WANT TO MOVE IT...
731
00:26:03,175 --> 00:26:04,543
- SO BEAUTIFUL.
732
00:26:04,567 --> 00:26:08,209
- I'M NOT WAITING FOR
KYLE RICHARDS TO LIKE ME.
733
00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:12,609
I HAVE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO DO THAN THAT.
734
00:26:12,633 --> 00:26:14,976
- THANK YOU.
735
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,042
- SO WERE YOU RAISED CATHOLIC?
736
00:26:18,066 --> 00:26:20,443
NO, I'M JUST WONDERING
BECAUSE OF ALL THE CROSSES.
737
00:26:20,467 --> 00:26:22,643
CHRISTIAN OR CATHOLIC.
738
00:26:22,667 --> 00:26:25,443
- IT IS TAKING A LOT OF ME
TO CONTROL MYSELF.
739
00:26:25,467 --> 00:26:26,676
[laughs] - I'M SORRY.
740
00:26:26,700 --> 00:26:28,309
WHAT WAS THAT? [laughter]
741
00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:30,080
- I DON'T EVER MEET PEOPLE
FOR THE FIRST TIME
742
00:26:30,104 --> 00:26:31,609
AND ASK THEM
WHAT THEIR RELIGION IS.
743
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:35,209
I THINK IT'S RUDE
AND INAPPROPRIATE.
744
00:26:35,233 --> 00:26:37,576
- HELLO?
745
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,309
- HI.
- [gasps]
746
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:43,543
I CAN SEE THAT YOU DON'T
LOVE PINK, BUT...
747
00:26:43,567 --> 00:26:45,543
- YOU LOOK [bleep] GORGEOUS.
- EVERYTHING WAS ROSES OUTSIDE.
748
00:26:45,567 --> 00:26:47,543
- OH, MY GOSH, THANK YOU.
- OH, THEY'RE FROM MY GARDEN.
749
00:26:47,567 --> 00:26:48,676
SO I THINK I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT
750
00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:51,309
SOME DARK BLOOD
RED ROSES INSTEAD.
751
00:26:51,333 --> 00:26:52,980
I THINK I CALLED IT WRONG.
752
00:26:53,004 --> 00:26:55,476
- HELLO, DANCING QUEEN.
- HELLO, HI.
753
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:57,076
- HOW ARE YOU?
- HI. OH.
754
00:26:57,100 --> 00:26:59,476
OKAY. MWAH. MWAH.
755
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:01,509
HELLO. - YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.
756
00:27:01,533 --> 00:27:03,579
- HOW ARE YOU?
EXHAUSTED FROM DANCING?
757
00:27:03,603 --> 00:27:05,376
- YEAH.
WHAT'S EVERYBODY DRINKING?
758
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,676
IS IT... - TEQUILA SHOTS.
759
00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:08,976
- NO, I'LL HAVE A CUP OF TEA.
[overlapping chatter]
760
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,142
IS THAT OKAY? - I'M JOKING.
761
00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:11,109
WE'RE NOT DRINKING
TEQUILA SHOTS.
762
00:27:11,133 --> 00:27:12,242
- I'LL HAVE WHATEVER.
763
00:27:12,266 --> 00:27:13,443
- OKAY, LET ME SHOW YOU
THE DOLLS.
764
00:27:13,467 --> 00:27:15,009
- PINKY, YOU MADE IT.
765
00:27:15,033 --> 00:27:16,478
- WHY DO DOLLS FREAK ME OUT?
- WAIT.
766
00:27:16,502 --> 00:27:18,647
- I DON'T KNOW WHY DOLLS...
YOU KNOW, AS A LITTLE GIRL...
767
00:27:18,671 --> 00:27:20,609
- THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.
- NO, THEY'RE GORGEOUS.
768
00:27:20,633 --> 00:27:22,109
- THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.
- LOOK AT THIS DRESS.
769
00:27:22,133 --> 00:27:24,309
- BUT THEY ALSO LOOK LIKE...
THEY'RE SO BEAUTIFUL,
770
00:27:24,333 --> 00:27:26,509
BUT THEY ALSO LOOK LIKE,
AT NIGHT... THAT THEY'LL WAKE UP...
771
00:27:26,533 --> 00:27:27,550
- AND COME AND MURDER YOU.
772
00:27:27,574 --> 00:27:29,076
- YEAH, LIKE COME DOWN
THE HALLWAY.
773
00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:30,576
- LIKE CHUCKY.
♪♪ DUN, DUN, DUN, DUN ♪♪
774
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,576
- IF I WERE TO SHOW
ONE OF THOSE DOLLS TO PORTIA,
775
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,276
SHE MAY CRY.
776
00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:35,409
CREEPY.
777
00:27:35,433 --> 00:27:37,379
- OUR SISTER KATHY
COLLECTS DOLLS.
778
00:27:37,403 --> 00:27:38,509
- DO THEY SCARE YOU TOO?
779
00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:40,509
- WELL, SHE JUST DOES
LIKE MADAME ALEXANDER,
780
00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:43,379
NOT LIKE THESE KIND OF FACES.
- THIS ONE IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
781
00:27:43,403 --> 00:27:45,009
- I CAN JUST SEE THEM LIKE
782
00:27:45,033 --> 00:27:46,350
WALKING THROUGH THE HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
783
00:27:46,374 --> 00:27:49,276
WHILE EVERYBODY'S SLEEPING,
LIKE "OOH, OOH."
784
00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:51,245
YOU KNOW, JUST KIND OF...
[gasps].
785
00:27:51,269 --> 00:27:53,009
- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FAINTED.
786
00:27:53,033 --> 00:27:55,379
- THE WHOLE THING WAS REALLY...
- YEAH, A NIGHTMARE.
787
00:27:55,403 --> 00:27:56,976
- BUT YOU...
- BUT IT'S DONE.
788
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,447
- A BIT OF CONTROVERSY
IN THE CAR ON THE WAY OVER
789
00:27:58,471 --> 00:28:01,543
ABOUT WHETHER YOU FAINTED
FOR REAL OR FOR NOT REAL.
790
00:28:01,567 --> 00:28:02,544
- FOR REAL OR NOT REAL?
- SHE FAINTED.
791
00:28:02,568 --> 00:28:04,244
- [laughs]
- FAKING HER FAINTING?
792
00:28:04,268 --> 00:28:06,476
- YES, THERE'S JUST A CON...
IT WAS A CONTROVERSY.
793
00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:09,009
- WHAT'S THE UPSIDE OF...
- I DON'T KNOW.
794
00:28:09,033 --> 00:28:10,609
- THEY THOUGHT
SHE FAKED FAINTING?
795
00:28:10,633 --> 00:28:12,309
- WHO DID?
- YEAH!
796
00:28:12,333 --> 00:28:14,047
- OH, MY GOD.
- NO, IT WAS JUST THEY...
797
00:28:14,071 --> 00:28:16,609
THEY SAID, "DO YOU THINK
IT'S REAL OR NOT REAL?"
798
00:28:16,633 --> 00:28:18,142
- OH, GOD.
799
00:28:18,166 --> 00:28:19,643
HAVE THEY GOT NOTHING
ELSE BITCHY
800
00:28:19,667 --> 00:28:21,042
TO TALK ABOUT APART FROM ME?
801
00:28:21,066 --> 00:28:22,376
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE
GOT HERE EARLIER.
802
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,376
YOU THINK MAYBE YOUR FRIENDS
WOULD BE SUPPORTIVE,
803
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,446
OR WOULD THAT BE TOO MUCH
TO ASK?
804
00:28:26,470 --> 00:28:29,309
AND I HOPE THAT BRANDI
HASN'T BEEN PART OF IT.
805
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:30,609
WHAT... WHAT, WAS I GOING TO FAKE
806
00:28:30,633 --> 00:28:32,509
THE SWOLLEN GLANDS AND FEVER
AS WELL?
807
00:28:32,533 --> 00:28:34,409
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I WENT
STRAIGHT TO THE DOCTOR.
808
00:28:34,433 --> 00:28:35,547
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
809
00:28:35,571 --> 00:28:36,676
- WE WERE ALL JUST JOKING.
810
00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:37,746
IT WASN'T A BAD THING.
811
00:28:37,770 --> 00:28:39,409
- I'M SURE YOU HAD MY BACK.
812
00:28:39,433 --> 00:28:41,042
- [laughs] NO, I DID.
813
00:28:41,066 --> 00:28:42,710
I SAID THAT YOU SAID
YOU FAINTED.
814
00:28:42,734 --> 00:28:46,409
IT WAS REAL.
- ALSO I HURT MY ROTATOR CUFF.
815
00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:49,147
SO WHAT'S THIS?
SO I HEAR YOU GUYS THINK,
816
00:28:49,171 --> 00:28:51,042
AFTER ALL THIS TIME
YOU'VE KNOWN ME,
817
00:28:51,066 --> 00:28:53,009
BRANDI SAID THAT...
- I DIDN'T SAY THEY THINK.
818
00:28:53,033 --> 00:28:56,609
I SAID THERE... THERE WAS A
CONVERSATION ABOUT THE FAINTING.
819
00:28:56,633 --> 00:28:58,343
- I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN IT.
820
00:28:58,367 --> 00:29:00,509
I HAVE TO WATCH IT.
- I DON'T FAKE ANYTHING.
821
00:29:00,533 --> 00:29:02,347
YOU KNOW THAT THE MORE
YOU GET TO KNOW ME.
822
00:29:02,371 --> 00:29:04,176
- I SAID THAT YOU DON'T
LOOK LIKE A FAKER,
823
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,443
BUT I WANTED TO SEE IT
824
00:29:05,467 --> 00:29:07,009
BECAUSE EVERYBODY
WAS TALKING ABOUT IT.
825
00:29:07,033 --> 00:29:08,050
- I SAID YOU LOOK HONEST.
- WHO SAID THAT?
826
00:29:08,074 --> 00:29:09,443
WHO JUST SAID THIS?
827
00:29:09,467 --> 00:29:12,176
- I SAID THERE WAS
A CONVERSATION ON THE WAY...
828
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,609
- YOU SHOULD SHOW IT TO ME
RIGHT NOW SO I CAN SEE IT.
829
00:29:14,633 --> 00:29:16,150
- I ACTUALLY DON'T WANT
TO SEE IT AGAIN, THANK YOU.
830
00:29:16,174 --> 00:29:17,376
- NO?
831
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,476
- I DIDN'T START
THE CONVERSATION.
832
00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:20,676
- OH, I THOUGHT YOU DID. OKAY.
833
00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:23,009
- I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN IT,
SO I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING.
834
00:29:23,033 --> 00:29:25,576
- THE LAST THING I NEED IS
MORE PROBLEMS WITH LISA.
835
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:27,276
WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO PUT
THE BLAME ON ME?
836
00:29:27,300 --> 00:29:28,509
THANKS, BRANDI.
837
00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:31,047
- BRANDI SAID YOU DID
FALL BEAUTIFUL,
838
00:29:31,071 --> 00:29:33,209
LIKE A SOAP OPERA.
839
00:29:33,233 --> 00:29:34,309
- WITH GRACE?
840
00:29:34,333 --> 00:29:35,509
- ANYWAY, AT LEAST WE'VE GOT
841
00:29:35,533 --> 00:29:37,450
THAT LITTLE ISSUE
CLEARED UP, RIGHT?
842
00:29:37,474 --> 00:29:39,209
- HEY, LISA.
843
00:29:39,233 --> 00:29:42,076
- AND SHE'S IRRITATED.
- DON'T BE UPSET.
844
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:45,009
- I FEEL REALLY CRAPPY
ABOUT TALKING IN THE LIMO
845
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:46,150
ABOUT LISA FAINTING.
846
00:29:46,174 --> 00:29:50,026
IT CAME OUT REALLY
KIND OF BITCHY.
847
00:29:53,533 --> 00:29:54,976
- COMING UP...
848
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,509
- WHEN YOU SPEND SIX WEEKS
IN SOMEBODY'S ARMS...
849
00:29:56,533 --> 00:29:58,250
- DO YOU FEEL HORNY WHEN
YOU'RE DANCING WITH HIM, OKAY?
850
00:29:58,274 --> 00:30:00,476
[laughter]
- YOU WERE HAVING A HARD TIME.
851
00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:05,130
AND HE HAD A HARD-ON. [laughter]
852
00:30:06,533 --> 00:30:08,350
- CARLTON, WHAT IS THIS?
- IT'S A CONFESSIONAL.
853
00:30:08,374 --> 00:30:10,643
- A CONFESSIONAL?
- ARE... A PRIEST IS IN THERE.
854
00:30:10,667 --> 00:30:13,309
- THAT CONFESSIONAL HAS SEEN
QUITE A BIT OF ACTION,
855
00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:15,376
NOT JUST FROM ME OR DAVID.
856
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,009
- COOL. I WANT TO CONFESS.
857
00:30:17,033 --> 00:30:18,142
COME. GO, GO.
858
00:30:18,166 --> 00:30:20,042
LET'S DO IT.
- IT'S A CONFESSIONAL.
859
00:30:20,066 --> 00:30:21,509
- OH, MY GOSH.
860
00:30:21,533 --> 00:30:23,650
BRANDI, YOU'RE GONNA BE
IN THERE AWHILE.
861
00:30:23,674 --> 00:30:26,376
- I ACTUALLY DON'T SIN
THAT MUCH,
862
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,476
BUT WHEN I DO,
THEY'RE GOOD ONES.
863
00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:33,009
I'M GONNA...
I HAVE TOO MANY SECRETS.
864
00:30:33,033 --> 00:30:35,676
[laughter]
865
00:30:35,700 --> 00:30:39,230
NO WAY.
866
00:30:45,533 --> 00:30:47,550
- I LOVE ALL YOUR MAGIC BALLS.
867
00:30:47,574 --> 00:30:50,476
[laughter]
868
00:30:50,500 --> 00:30:52,576
- I LOVE THEM.
- THERE'S A BALL THEME GOING ON.
869
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,276
- WHAT... WHAT DO
THE BALLS REPRESENT?
870
00:30:54,300 --> 00:30:55,576
- THERE'S A COUPLE OF WORDS
FOR THEM.
871
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,976
THEY'RE WITCHES' BALLS
OR VICTORIAN BALLS.
872
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,376
THEY JUST... THEY GRAB NEGATIVE
ENERGY, AND THEY TRAP IT.
873
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,576
- OH, I LOVE THAT.
874
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:04,609
I OUGHT TO BE CHOCK FULL
OF THOSE AT MY HOUSE.
875
00:31:04,633 --> 00:31:06,142
[laughter]
876
00:31:06,166 --> 00:31:09,126
- WELL, HAVE YOU EVER EXPLORED
WITH WITCHCRAFT?
877
00:31:12,433 --> 00:31:13,643
- REALLY?
878
00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:16,343
KYLE WITH THE BLOODY
DUMB QUESTIONS.
879
00:31:16,367 --> 00:31:18,443
IT'S BLOODY RUDE.
- NO, I DON'T KNOW.
880
00:31:18,467 --> 00:31:20,409
I MEAN LIKE FUN WITCHCRAFT.
881
00:31:20,433 --> 00:31:22,447
- YOU WANT TO FIND OUT ABOUT ME?
882
00:31:22,471 --> 00:31:25,710
GET TO KNOW ME, BUT DON'T TRY
AND SHOCK VALUE ME
883
00:31:25,734 --> 00:31:27,448
IN FRONT OF PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW.
884
00:31:27,472 --> 00:31:29,244
I KNOW HOW THAT [bleep] WORKS.
885
00:31:29,268 --> 00:31:30,543
I'VE KNOWN GIRLS LIKE YOU.
886
00:31:30,567 --> 00:31:34,009
- I MEAN, I DON'T LIKE MEAN
CAST A SPELL
887
00:31:34,033 --> 00:31:35,443
OR FLY ON A BROOM.
888
00:31:35,467 --> 00:31:37,009
- YES, I AM A WITCH.
889
00:31:37,033 --> 00:31:39,079
WICCA, WHICH IS WHAT I PRACTICE,
890
00:31:39,103 --> 00:31:41,576
THE WHITE SIDE,
WHICH IS MOTHER NATURE,
891
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:46,209
ALL-ENCOMPASSING,
IS TRULY ABOUT THE MIRACLES
892
00:31:46,233 --> 00:31:47,647
THAT EXIST ON THIS PLANET.
893
00:31:47,671 --> 00:31:50,643
- I HAVE A FRIEND WHO IS A JET...
LIKE SHE IS A WITCH.
894
00:31:50,667 --> 00:31:52,176
- WHAT DOES A WITCH
REALLY MEAN, THOUGH?
895
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,309
I PICTURE LIKE A BROOM AND
A WART ON THE END OF HER NOSE.
896
00:31:54,333 --> 00:31:57,976
- I HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN WICCA
SINCE SEVEN YEARS OLD.
897
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,643
MY GRANDMOTHER WAS PRACTICING.
898
00:32:01,667 --> 00:32:04,242
AND MY MOM, SHE WAS PSYCHIC.
899
00:32:04,266 --> 00:32:07,609
- WELL, I BELIEVE IN SPIRITS,
BUT DOESN'T MEAN I'M A WITCH.
900
00:32:07,633 --> 00:32:10,242
- WELL, MY MO... OUR MOM USED
TO SAY SHE WAS A WITCH.
901
00:32:10,266 --> 00:32:11,609
MY MOM USED TO SAY
SHE WAS A WITCH.
902
00:32:11,633 --> 00:32:14,109
- HAVE I PRACTICED DARK?
I HAVE PRACTICED DARK.
903
00:32:14,133 --> 00:32:16,309
BUT NOW, I PRACTICE LIGHT,
904
00:32:16,333 --> 00:32:18,350
AND THAT'S ALL I PRACTICE
BECAUSE I HAVE CHILDREN.
905
00:32:18,374 --> 00:32:20,543
I WOULD NEVER GO
TO THE DARK SIDE.
906
00:32:20,567 --> 00:32:22,076
NOT AGAIN.
907
00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:23,077
- DIDN'T MOM USED
TO ALWAYS SAY THAT?
908
00:32:23,101 --> 00:32:24,609
- WHAT?
- SHE SAID, "WELL, I'M A WITCH.
909
00:32:24,633 --> 00:32:25,976
I KNOW EVERYTHING."
910
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,343
- I THINK SHE DID THAT
TO LIKE SCARE US.
911
00:32:28,367 --> 00:32:30,176
- THERE ARE A COUPLE OF WITCHES
IN OUR GROUP,
912
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:34,109
BUT I DON'T THINK
CARLTON'S ONE OF THEM.
913
00:32:34,133 --> 00:32:35,479
CAN I HAVE A LOOK AROUND, YEAH?
914
00:32:35,503 --> 00:32:38,276
- I LOVE THIS FEELING, THOUGH.
IT FEELS LIKE A CHURCH FEELING.
915
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:42,576
- YEAH, I WANTED... THE IDEA WAS
THAT WE WANTED TO HAVE,
916
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,576
KIND OF, THE CHURCH,
THE CASTLE, FEEL.
917
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,176
SO THEN I MADE IT GOTHIC.
918
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,609
THIS IS OUR BOUDOIR.
919
00:32:49,633 --> 00:32:52,647
- OKAY, THAT LOOKS LIKE...
- OH, THAT IS HUGE!
920
00:32:52,671 --> 00:32:54,443
- UH-OH, THAT SAYS
A LOT ABOUT CARLTON.
921
00:32:54,467 --> 00:32:57,676
- OH, MY GOD! REALLY?
- OH, OH, CARLTON.
922
00:32:57,700 --> 00:33:00,245
- HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN HERE?
- SEXY HEXY.
923
00:33:00,269 --> 00:33:03,309
- YOU COULD DO SOME CRAZY THINGS
ON THAT BED, I'M SURE.
924
00:33:03,333 --> 00:33:06,042
I'M GOING TO GET ONE
WHEN I'M RICH.
925
00:33:06,066 --> 00:33:07,710
- OH, MY GOD.
WE COULD ALL SLEEP IN THERE.
926
00:33:07,734 --> 00:33:09,211
- YES.
- THAT IS HUGE.
927
00:33:09,235 --> 00:33:10,976
- YES. [all laugh]
928
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,247
- DON'T YOU FEEL GUILTY HAVING
SEX WITH A CROSS ABOVE YOUR BED?
929
00:33:13,271 --> 00:33:14,609
- NO, NOT AT ALL.
930
00:33:14,633 --> 00:33:15,647
I WELCOME IT. - [laughs]
931
00:33:15,671 --> 00:33:17,044
- I REALLY WOULD NOT WANT TO
932
00:33:17,068 --> 00:33:19,509
HAVE A CROSS HANGING
ABOVE MY BED.
933
00:33:19,533 --> 00:33:21,747
LIKE SOMEONE'S
WATCHING DOWN ON ME.
934
00:33:21,771 --> 00:33:24,109
THIS HOUSE MAKES ME WANT TO GET
THE OUIJA BOARD OUT.
935
00:33:24,133 --> 00:33:25,747
- MAYBE IT IS A LITTLE UNUSUAL
936
00:33:25,771 --> 00:33:27,609
TO HAVE THIS
KIND OF GOTHIC ARCHITECTURE.
937
00:33:27,633 --> 00:33:30,979
WHERE I COME FROM IN ENGLAND,
IT'S REALLY QUITE COMMON.
938
00:33:31,003 --> 00:33:33,476
BUT THIS IS TAKING IT
TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL.
939
00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:34,676
- WHY DON'T YOU GO IN THE MIDDLE
WHERE THE KITTY CAT IS?
940
00:33:34,700 --> 00:33:36,647
- I'M... BUT,
I'M NOT SITTING HERE,
941
00:33:36,671 --> 00:33:38,042
JUST SO YOU KNOW.
942
00:33:38,066 --> 00:33:39,710
I DON'T ACTUALLY
LIKE HEADS OF TABLE...
943
00:33:39,734 --> 00:33:41,051
- RIGHT.
- OR ANY OF THAT SILLY [bleep]...
944
00:33:41,075 --> 00:33:42,509
SO... - SO ONE OF US HAS TO
945
00:33:42,533 --> 00:33:44,179
BECAUSE WE'RE AN ODD NUMBER.
- PLEASE.
946
00:33:44,203 --> 00:33:46,476
- PLEASE, GO AHEAD.
- WELL, THEN I FEEL... WELL.
947
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:47,609
I MEAN... STOP.
948
00:33:47,633 --> 00:33:49,280
- SHE'S LIKE,
"IF YOU ALL INSIST."
949
00:33:49,304 --> 00:33:53,276
- I THINK IT'S REALLY POMPOUS
FOR ME, IN MY HOME,
950
00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:58,109
TO SIT AT THE HEAD OF THE TABLE
AND HAVE ALL OF MY LITTLE LADIES
951
00:33:58,133 --> 00:33:59,409
SIT EITHER SIDE OF THIS TABLE.
952
00:33:59,433 --> 00:34:01,242
I DON'T DO THAT.
953
00:34:01,266 --> 00:34:03,710
- THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.
954
00:34:03,734 --> 00:34:05,211
WELL, THIS FEELS
INCREDIBLY AWKWARD.
955
00:34:05,235 --> 00:34:06,476
[laughs]
956
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:09,109
- I'M ASSUMING THAT CARLTON'S
GOING TO SIT THERE
957
00:34:09,133 --> 00:34:11,609
AND, YOU KNOW,
PLAY THE QUEEN BITCH.
958
00:34:11,633 --> 00:34:15,176
BUT SHE KIND OF LEFT IT
FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.
959
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,109
[all laugh]
960
00:34:17,133 --> 00:34:18,976
- THANKS, BABY.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
961
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:19,977
[indistinct chatter]
962
00:34:20,001 --> 00:34:23,309
- THERE YOU GO.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
963
00:34:23,333 --> 00:34:25,180
- I SEE ALL THESE PRETTY WOMEN
RUNNING AROUND.
964
00:34:25,204 --> 00:34:27,009
- THERE ARE HOT GIRLS.
- WHO ARE THEY?
965
00:34:27,033 --> 00:34:28,448
- THERE'S A LOT OF HOT GIRLS
IN THE HOUSE.
966
00:34:28,472 --> 00:34:29,509
- WHO'S THE GIRL IN THE BLUE
DRESS THAT JUST WENT BY?
967
00:34:29,533 --> 00:34:31,079
- OH...
- AND THERE'S ANOTHER GIRL.
968
00:34:31,103 --> 00:34:33,076
- ELIZY'S THE BLOND
IN THE BLUE DRESS.
969
00:34:33,100 --> 00:34:35,476
SHE'S MY NANNY FOR MY SON. - OH.
970
00:34:35,500 --> 00:34:37,676
- I BELIEVE IN HAVING
A HOT NANNY FOR MY SON.
971
00:34:37,700 --> 00:34:39,309
- REALLY?
- YEAH. SHE'S FUNNY.
972
00:34:39,333 --> 00:34:41,579
SHE HAS, LIKE, SOMETHING
THAT MAKES MY TOES CURL.
973
00:34:41,603 --> 00:34:43,042
- MY HUMOR MAKES YOUR TOES...
974
00:34:43,066 --> 00:34:44,142
BECAUSE I HAVE TOILET HUMOR.
975
00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:45,443
THAT'S WHY. - YES, EXACTLY.
976
00:34:45,467 --> 00:34:47,144
- IT'S FUNNY
BECAUSE I WAS ON VACATION
977
00:34:47,168 --> 00:34:49,609
AND CINDY CRAWFORD WAS IN OUR
GROUP AND SHE WAS, LIKE...
978
00:34:49,633 --> 00:34:51,209
SHE HAD THE HOTTEST NANNY.
979
00:34:51,233 --> 00:34:54,242
I ASKED HER... I SAID, "WHY DO YOU
HAVE SUCH A HOT NANNY?
980
00:34:54,266 --> 00:34:55,243
"ARE YOU NOT WORRIED?
981
00:34:55,267 --> 00:34:56,509
"LIKE, 'CAUSE I WOULD BE WORRIED
982
00:34:56,533 --> 00:34:58,176
WITH MY EX-HUSBAND."
983
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,047
AND SHE GOES, "BRANDI,
I HAVE TO LOOK AT HER, TOO."
984
00:35:00,071 --> 00:35:01,276
- YEAH.
- OOH!
985
00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:02,347
- SO I WANT HIM
TO KNOW BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.
986
00:35:02,371 --> 00:35:04,309
- THERE'S NO 200 POUND MINIMUM
IN THIS HOUSE?
987
00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:05,280
- [bleep] NO.
- [laughs]
988
00:35:05,304 --> 00:35:06,376
- BON APPETIT, GUYS.
989
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:07,609
I AM SO HUNGRY.
990
00:35:07,633 --> 00:35:10,309
I'M GOING TO TAKE A BITE.
- ME, TOO.
991
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:12,042
- SO, CARLTON?
- YEAH?
992
00:35:12,066 --> 00:35:14,009
- I LOVE YOUR HOUSE
AND WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
993
00:35:14,033 --> 00:35:15,343
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.
994
00:35:15,367 --> 00:35:17,244
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU GUYS
TO BUILD THIS HOUSE?
995
00:35:17,268 --> 00:35:19,476
- TO BUILD IT?
PROBABLY ABOUT THREE YEARS.
996
00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:21,609
- AND YOUR HUSBAND'S
FROM NEW YORK, RIGHT?
997
00:35:21,633 --> 00:35:24,547
- YEAH, DAVID WAS BORN
IN BROOKLYN, NEW YORK.
998
00:35:24,571 --> 00:35:26,042
- WELL, BACK TO HOW WE MET YOU.
999
00:35:26,066 --> 00:35:27,443
HOW DID YOU... CARLTON,
WHAT DO YOU GUYS...
1000
00:35:27,467 --> 00:35:29,376
- YES.
- WHAT IS YOUR ASSOCIATION
1001
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:30,646
WITH THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE?
1002
00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:32,509
- DAVID'S FAMILY,
UM, THEIR BUSINESS
1003
00:35:32,533 --> 00:35:33,980
IS PART OF THE CHAMBER
OF COMMERCE.
1004
00:35:34,004 --> 00:35:35,509
- OH, OKAY.
- YEAH.
1005
00:35:35,533 --> 00:35:38,576
- AND WHAT'S YOUR BLOOD TYPE?
[all laugh]
1006
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,343
I'M JUST FOOLING WITH YOU.
1007
00:35:40,367 --> 00:35:43,242
[cat growl]
- BLOOD TYPE. THAT'S FUNNY.
1008
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:45,242
- NO, I'M JUST
TRYING TO GET, YOU KNOW,
1009
00:35:45,266 --> 00:35:46,676
TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER.
1010
00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:47,976
- BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S FUNNY.
1011
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:49,176
WHEN I MET YOU... - YEAH?
1012
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,376
- I FELT YOU HAD,
LIKE, AN EDGE TO YOU.
1013
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,576
I SAID THAT TO YOU. - SHE DID.
1014
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:54,743
NOT IN A BAD WAY.
1015
00:35:54,767 --> 00:35:55,744
- NO, NO, NO, NO.
- NO, MEANING...
1016
00:35:55,768 --> 00:35:57,176
- SHE SAID THAT SHE LIKED YOU.
1017
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:59,770
LIKE YOU'RE...
LIKE A GOOD [bleep].
1018
00:36:01,533 --> 00:36:04,076
- NICE. I LIKE THOSE.
1019
00:36:04,100 --> 00:36:07,609
NOW THIS IS A WORD
THAT I REALLY HATE.
1020
00:36:07,633 --> 00:36:10,009
BUT BRANDI USED IT WITH ME,
1021
00:36:10,033 --> 00:36:13,047
AND I HONESTLY WAS NOT
OFFENDED BY IT AT ALL.
1022
00:36:13,071 --> 00:36:15,176
- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
- LIKE A GOOD ONE.
1023
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:16,546
LIKE, [bleep] IN A GOOD WAY.
1024
00:36:16,570 --> 00:36:18,176
- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, BRANDI.
1025
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:22,276
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, BECAUSE
KYLE SAYS SOMETHING SO LITTLE
1026
00:36:22,300 --> 00:36:24,276
AS, "WHAT'S YOUR RELIGION?"
1027
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:26,676
AND CARLTON TAKES IT PERSONAL.
1028
00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:31,710
BUT THEN BRANDI CALLS CARLTON
A "SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY,"
1029
00:36:31,734 --> 00:36:32,711
AND SHE DOESN'T REACT.
1030
00:36:32,735 --> 00:36:34,710
I DON'T GET IT.
1031
00:36:34,734 --> 00:36:36,076
- WHO SAYS THAT?
1032
00:36:36,100 --> 00:36:37,647
CAN'T YOU THINK
OF SOMETHING ELSE?
1033
00:36:37,671 --> 00:36:39,476
- SHE SAYS.
- COME ON.
1034
00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:40,746
- IT'S BRANDI, BABE.
1035
00:36:40,770 --> 00:36:42,209
- I KNOW.
- LET HER BE.
1036
00:36:42,233 --> 00:36:44,109
- NO, I LIKE IT.
- GOSH!
1037
00:36:44,133 --> 00:36:48,109
THESE ARE THE MOMENTS
I WANT TO TAKE YOU OUTSIDE.
1038
00:36:48,133 --> 00:36:50,579
- GO BACK TO YOUR SWEET
SHUT THE [bleep] UP DAYS.
1039
00:36:50,603 --> 00:36:51,710
THEY WERE SO MUCH NICER.
1040
00:36:51,734 --> 00:36:54,247
- YEAH, YOUR INNOCENT...
THOSE INNOCENT DAYS.
1041
00:36:54,271 --> 00:36:56,676
- REMEMBER WHEN YOU
ONLY USED THE F-WORD?
1042
00:36:56,700 --> 00:36:58,376
THOSE WERE THE DAYS.
1043
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,647
- BUT YOU KNOW,
YOU NEED TO LEARN
1044
00:36:59,671 --> 00:37:00,710
THAT YOU'RE NOT HER
1045
00:37:00,734 --> 00:37:01,711
MOTHER. YOU'RE HER GIRLFRIEND.
1046
00:37:01,735 --> 00:37:03,211
-I KNOW, BUT I'M STILL...
1047
00:37:03,235 --> 00:37:05,242
- SO YOU GOTTA LET IT GO.
1048
00:37:05,266 --> 00:37:07,076
BRANDI IS BRANDI.
1049
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:09,743
SHE IS PLAYFUL WITH WORDS.
1050
00:37:09,767 --> 00:37:10,710
THAT'S WHO SHE IS.
1051
00:37:10,734 --> 00:37:12,279
YOU CAN'T TAKE IT SERIOUS.
1052
00:37:12,303 --> 00:37:13,646
- JUST PUT SOME HANDCUFFS ON ME.
1053
00:37:13,670 --> 00:37:15,109
- I DON'T... NO. KEN CAN DO THAT.
1054
00:37:15,133 --> 00:37:17,050
- I HANDCUFFS
IF WE NEED THEM RIGHT NOW.
1055
00:37:17,074 --> 00:37:18,509
[laughs]
1056
00:37:18,533 --> 00:37:20,750
- SHE DID SAY THAT YOU'RE
A NICE [bleep], YOU KNOW?
1057
00:37:20,774 --> 00:37:25,176
I SUPPOSE THAT'S SOMEWHAT OF
A COMPLEMENT COMING FROM BRANDI.
1058
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,076
- SO, LISA, HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THE WHOLE...
1059
00:37:28,100 --> 00:37:30,145
- THE WORD [bleep]?
- NO, NOT THAT WORD.
1060
00:37:30,169 --> 00:37:31,409
- GLEB.
- IS IT GLEB OR GELB?
1061
00:37:31,433 --> 00:37:32,480
- DANCING WITH THE STARS...
- GELB.
1062
00:37:32,504 --> 00:37:33,546
- ARE YOU GLAD IT'S OVER?
1063
00:37:33,570 --> 00:37:35,109
- IT'S HER BOYFRIEND.
- ARE YOU...
1064
00:37:35,133 --> 00:37:36,609
- SHE'S MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM.
1065
00:37:36,633 --> 00:37:38,676
- OH, STOP.
- NO, SHE IS.
1066
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:40,643
- WHEN YOU SPEND SIX WEEKS
IN SOME...
1067
00:37:40,667 --> 00:37:42,109
- DO YOU FEEL HORNY
WHEN YOU'RE DANCING WITH HIM?
1068
00:37:42,133 --> 00:37:45,276
[laughter]
1069
00:37:45,300 --> 00:37:48,343
LET'S JUST
CUT TO THE CHASE, LISA!
1070
00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:50,609
ENOUGH OF YOUR ENGLISH
BEATING AROUND THE BUSH.
1071
00:37:50,633 --> 00:37:53,209
NO PUN INTENDED. [laughs]
1072
00:37:53,233 --> 00:37:55,209
- LET ME TELL YOU.
- HE TOLD ME HER FAVORITE MOVE
1073
00:37:55,233 --> 00:37:56,279
WAS TO GRIND ON HIM.
1074
00:37:56,303 --> 00:37:57,509
- YOU WERE HAVING A HARD TIME
1075
00:37:57,533 --> 00:37:59,209
AND HE HAD A HARD ON. - [laughs]
1076
00:37:59,233 --> 00:38:01,209
- [mimics Lisa]
SHE WILL TELL YOU
1077
00:38:01,233 --> 00:38:04,309
THAT THERE IS A SENSE
OF LOVE THERE, DARLING.
1078
00:38:04,333 --> 00:38:06,543
YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER
1079
00:38:06,567 --> 00:38:09,209
WITH YOUR BODY
ON THE OTHER PERSON'S BODY.
1080
00:38:09,233 --> 00:38:11,609
OF COURSE YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
SOME... NOW I WENT, LIKE,
1081
00:38:11,633 --> 00:38:14,079
BRITISH AND THEN DUTCH
AND THEN IRISH.
1082
00:38:14,103 --> 00:38:15,646
- I WANT A MAN LIKE MY HUSBAND
1083
00:38:15,670 --> 00:38:17,643
WHO'S GRATEFUL
WHEN I TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF.
1084
00:38:17,667 --> 00:38:20,343
NOT LIKE SOME 29-YEAR-OLD
WHO'S LIKE,
1085
00:38:20,367 --> 00:38:21,509
"OH, I'VE COME TO SHAG HER
BEFORE SHE CROAKS."
1086
00:38:21,533 --> 00:38:23,109
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- OH, [bleep] THAT.
1087
00:38:23,133 --> 00:38:24,509
NOBODY LOOKS AT YOU
AND SAYS THAT.
1088
00:38:24,533 --> 00:38:25,648
- OH, COME ON.
- OH, PLEASE.
1089
00:38:25,672 --> 00:38:26,644
- WOULD YOU WANT TO GO TO BED
WITH SOMEBODY
1090
00:38:26,668 --> 00:38:28,009
WHO'S 29 YEARS OLD?
1091
00:38:28,033 --> 00:38:29,643
- YOU?
- WOULD YOU?
1092
00:38:29,667 --> 00:38:31,109
- GO TO BED WITH SOMEBODY
WHO'S 29?
1093
00:38:31,133 --> 00:38:32,509
- YEAH. NO, NOT REALLY.
1094
00:38:32,533 --> 00:38:33,980
- NO, 'CAUSE I CAN'T EVEN...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
1095
00:38:34,004 --> 00:38:35,976
HOW TO TAKE THAT. - EXACTLY.
1096
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,309
- WOULD I GO TO BED WITH YOU?
1097
00:38:37,333 --> 00:38:38,579
- ME?
- I'D BE GRATEFUL...
1098
00:38:38,603 --> 00:38:39,976
- WHAT, TO GO TO... [laughs]
1099
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,109
- IF YOU GOT NAKED.
- WELL, YOU...
1100
00:38:43,133 --> 00:38:45,543
LISTEN, I'M A HUGE SUPPORTER
OF THE GAY COMMUNITY.
1101
00:38:45,567 --> 00:38:47,976
I THINK EVERYBODY SHOULD BE ABLE
TO DO EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT.
1102
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,976
BUT IT'S NOT UP MY ALLEY.
1103
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,409
LITERALLY.
1104
00:38:51,433 --> 00:38:53,547
- I'M JUST SAYING, I'M...
- HE'S 29 YEARS OLD.
1105
00:38:53,571 --> 00:38:54,676
- I KNOW THAT.
- I'M 52.
1106
00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:57,276
- WELL, MY VAGINA'S 17, SO...
- EXACTLY.
1107
00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:58,710
[all laugh]
1108
00:38:58,734 --> 00:39:00,479
- I HEARD ABOUT
THAT LITTLE SURGERY.
1109
00:39:00,503 --> 00:39:01,546
- TIGHT AS A TIGER.
1110
00:39:01,570 --> 00:39:03,244
IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID? [laughs]
1111
00:39:03,268 --> 00:39:07,710
- BRANDI HAS CORNERED
THE MARKET ON INAPPROPRIATENESS.
1112
00:39:07,734 --> 00:39:09,343
SHE'S BRILLIANT AT IT.
1113
00:39:09,367 --> 00:39:11,643
- I'M SO TIGHT, IF I DO
A NIP-TUCK, HE WOULDN'T FIT.
1114
00:39:11,667 --> 00:39:16,343
- [laughs]
1115
00:39:16,367 --> 00:39:17,576
YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.
1116
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,109
- BUT HEARING IT FROM JOYCE...
1117
00:39:20,133 --> 00:39:21,476
[gags]
1118
00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:23,009
I MAY HAVE THROWN UP
IN MY MOUTH.
1119
00:39:23,033 --> 00:39:24,010
I'M NOT SURE.
1120
00:39:24,034 --> 00:39:26,209
- 'CAUSE HE'S SO BIG.
1121
00:39:26,233 --> 00:39:28,347
- HOW TIGHT YOU ARE
AND HOW BIG YOUR MAN IS?
1122
00:39:28,371 --> 00:39:29,509
WHO TALKS LIKE THAT?
1123
00:39:29,533 --> 00:39:31,150
MY HUSBAND'S HUNG
LIKE A [bleep] DONKEY,
1124
00:39:31,174 --> 00:39:33,042
BUT I DO NOT GO AROUND
TELLING PEOPLE THAT.
1125
00:39:33,066 --> 00:39:34,309
- HOW 'BOUT THAT CHICKEN?
1126
00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:36,109
- I'M VERY PROUD OF MY BABY.
1127
00:39:36,133 --> 00:39:39,142
- HE DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE A BABY THOUGH.
1128
00:39:39,166 --> 00:39:40,443
- SO WHAT IS IT ABOUT YOU
1129
00:39:40,467 --> 00:39:42,044
THAT YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT
FOR US TO KNOW?
1130
00:39:42,068 --> 00:39:43,543
- TELL US YOUR DARKEST SECRET.
1131
00:39:43,567 --> 00:39:45,643
- I LOVE WOMEN.
1132
00:39:45,667 --> 00:39:47,443
I THINK THAT WE WOULD RULE
THE UNIVERSE
1133
00:39:47,467 --> 00:39:50,044
IF WE JUST GOT THE [bleep] OUT
OF THE WAY OF OURSELVES.
1134
00:39:50,068 --> 00:39:52,076
IF THERE WASN'T... - SO TRUE.
1135
00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:55,076
THE CATTINESS AND THE JEALOUSY
AND THE INSECURITY AND...
1136
00:39:55,100 --> 00:39:57,647
- IF EVERYONE WOULD STOP
[bleep] OUR HUSBANDS.
1137
00:39:57,671 --> 00:39:59,176
- [laughs]
1138
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:00,347
- KYLE, THERE
IS THAT... THAT STORY
1139
00:40:00,371 --> 00:40:01,976
ABOUT MAURICIO CHEATING
AND WHATNOT.
1140
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,576
LIKE, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
1141
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:05,747
- WHY WOULD YOU BRING THAT UP?
1142
00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:07,443
YOU KNOW THAT IT'S NOT TRUE.
1143
00:40:07,467 --> 00:40:10,743
YOU KNOW HOW HURTFUL AND PAINFUL
IT'S BEEN FOR MY FAMILY AND ME.
1144
00:40:10,767 --> 00:40:14,109
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT AT A TABLE
LIKE THIS, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?
1145
00:40:14,133 --> 00:40:17,173
[bleep] YOU.
1146
00:40:20,667 --> 00:40:22,276
- COMING UP...
1147
00:40:22,300 --> 00:40:24,710
- A LOT OF TIMES,
THESE STORIES COME OUT.
1148
00:40:24,734 --> 00:40:26,351
- YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S
NO SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE.
1149
00:40:26,375 --> 00:40:30,197
- EXACTLY.
1150
00:40:31,300 --> 00:40:32,746
- KYLE, THERE IS THAT STORY
1151
00:40:32,770 --> 00:40:34,276
ABOUT MAURICIO CHEATING
AND WHATNOT.
1152
00:40:34,300 --> 00:40:35,376
LIKE, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
1153
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:37,042
- COME ON, EVERYTHING THEY SAY
1154
00:40:37,066 --> 00:40:38,609
IS A LOAD OF CODSWALLOP.
- THEY'VE DONE IT TO YOU.
1155
00:40:38,633 --> 00:40:40,409
- SORRY, THEY'VE DONE IT TO ME...
- THEY'VE DONE IT TO ALL OF US.
1156
00:40:40,433 --> 00:40:42,609
- IT'S A... REALLY?
- NO, BUT I MEAN, IT STILL SUCKS
1157
00:40:42,633 --> 00:40:44,343
TO HAVE THAT OUT THERE.
1158
00:40:44,367 --> 00:40:46,743
- IN L.A. EVERYTHING... IT'S
A TABLOID [bleep] SOCIETY.
1159
00:40:46,767 --> 00:40:50,242
YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER
WHEN MASON SAW HIS DAD
1160
00:40:50,266 --> 00:40:51,543
ON THE COVER OF STAR MAGAZINE
1161
00:40:51,567 --> 00:40:53,676
IN A BATHING SUIT,
HUGGING LEANN.
1162
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,476
SO I JUST WANTED
TO GIVE HER A HEADS-UP,
1163
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:57,676
BECAUSE IT'S REALLY DIFFICULT
TO GET YOUR HEAD AROUND THAT.
1164
00:40:57,700 --> 00:40:59,676
- YOU JUST HAVE TO IGNORE IT.
I REALLY DO.
1165
00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:02,047
I THINK IF YOU RESPOND TO IT,
IT MAKES IT BIGGER.
1166
00:41:02,071 --> 00:41:03,276
LET IT GO.
1167
00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:04,646
THAT WOULD BE MY ADVICE.
1168
00:41:04,670 --> 00:41:06,743
- YOU KNOW, BEING IN
THE LIMELIGHT LIKE THAT...
1169
00:41:06,767 --> 00:41:08,376
- RIGHT.
- AND BEING IN THAT POSITION
1170
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,209
IS TERRIBLE, BUT IT'S... YOU
REALLY DON'T BELIEVE...
1171
00:41:11,233 --> 00:41:13,080
- IT COMES WITH THE TERRITORY.
- IT REALLY IS.
1172
00:41:13,104 --> 00:41:15,309
- ON THE OTHER HAND, THOUGH,
A LOT OF TIMES
1173
00:41:15,333 --> 00:41:18,109
THESE STORIES COME OUT,
AND I'M NOT SAYING, YOU KNOW...
1174
00:41:18,133 --> 00:41:19,509
- YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S
NO SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE.
1175
00:41:19,533 --> 00:41:21,743
- EXACTLY.
1176
00:41:21,767 --> 00:41:24,743
THERE'S ALWAYS A LITTLE BIT OF
TRUTH OF WHAT'S IN THE TABLOIDS.
1177
00:41:24,767 --> 00:41:27,042
LET'S NOT SAY
THAT NONE OF IT IS TRUE.
1178
00:41:27,066 --> 00:41:28,242
- WELL, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED
WHEN EDDIE... LIKE,
1179
00:41:28,266 --> 00:41:29,710
THESE STORIES STARTED
COMING OUT ABOUT EDDIE
1180
00:41:29,734 --> 00:41:31,281
AND CERTAIN SOAP OPERA PEOPLE
AND HE WAS LIKE,
1181
00:41:31,305 --> 00:41:32,509
IT'S JUST NOT TRUE.
1182
00:41:32,533 --> 00:41:34,109
AND I REALLY BELIEVED
THAT IT WASN'T TRUE.
1183
00:41:34,133 --> 00:41:35,309
- RIGHT.
- AND IT JUST SUCKED
1184
00:41:35,333 --> 00:41:37,009
TO BE ME BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.
1185
00:41:37,033 --> 00:41:40,009
- MY HUSBAND AND I ARE
IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER,
1186
00:41:40,033 --> 00:41:43,076
AND NO TABLOID OR ANY GROUP
OF MEAN GIRLS
1187
00:41:43,100 --> 00:41:45,409
CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM US.
1188
00:41:45,433 --> 00:41:48,647
ANYBODY WANTS TO BE THAT SICK
AND LIE AND BE VICIOUS
1189
00:41:48,671 --> 00:41:51,576
AND [bleep] WITH US,
IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
1190
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,176
WE'RE THAT STRONG, SO...
1191
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:56,109
I'VE NEVER BROUGHT UP LIES
IN TABLOIDS ABOUT THEM.
1192
00:41:56,133 --> 00:41:58,176
I'VE NEVER DONE THAT.
1193
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,009
[voice breaking] I'VE HEARD LIES
ABOUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.
1194
00:42:00,033 --> 00:42:02,276
I'VE NEVER SAID THAT.
I WOULD NOT DO THAT.
1195
00:42:02,300 --> 00:42:03,545
- THERE IS A LOT OF LIES...
- OKAY.
1196
00:42:03,569 --> 00:42:05,109
- OUT THERE, BUT THERE'S
ALSO A LOT OF TRUTH.
1197
00:42:05,133 --> 00:42:06,550
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE MEAN AND
DO THINGS LIKE THAT, THOUGH.
1198
00:42:06,574 --> 00:42:07,676
YOU WISH IT WERE TRUE.
1199
00:42:07,700 --> 00:42:11,409
EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW IT ISN'T,
YOU WISH.
1200
00:42:11,433 --> 00:42:14,433
AND [bleep] ALL OF YOU.
1201
00:42:18,767 --> 00:42:22,209
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS.
1202
00:42:22,233 --> 00:42:23,210
- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
1203
00:42:23,234 --> 00:42:25,643
ANY OF THESE [bleep] GIRLS
1204
00:42:25,667 --> 00:42:29,244
CAN DO A LIE DETECTOR TEST
WITH ME TOMORROW AND NO PROBLEM.
1205
00:42:29,268 --> 00:42:31,242
- OH, MY GOD.
1206
00:42:31,266 --> 00:42:33,376
THERE'S NOT... YOU HAVE
THE TINIEST WAIST.
1207
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,045
- NO, IT'S 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
BIG BOOBS AND A BIG ASS.
1208
00:42:36,069 --> 00:42:38,276
- WELCOME TO CIRQUE SCHOOL.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
1209
00:42:38,300 --> 00:42:40,209
- [groans]
- I FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF MEAT
1210
00:42:40,233 --> 00:42:41,380
HANGING IN THE BUTCHER.
1211
00:42:41,404 --> 00:42:43,009
- BRANDI, COME ON.
1212
00:42:43,033 --> 00:42:44,447
YOU'VE DONE THAT BEFORE.
1213
00:42:44,471 --> 00:42:46,643
- YESTERDAY, I'M GETTING
CHASED DOWN IN CALABASAS
1214
00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:49,343
BY THE PAPARAZZI SAYING KYLE
RICHARDS IS CALLING ME A BULLY.
1215
00:42:49,367 --> 00:42:52,044
IT JUST SUCKS TO BE CALLED
A BULLY IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN.
1216
00:42:52,068 --> 00:42:54,309
- ENOUGH OF THIS MEAN,
MEAN TALKING
1217
00:42:54,333 --> 00:42:55,676
AND MEAN... I CAN'T TAKE IT.
1218
00:42:55,700 --> 00:42:57,209
- WHEN I'M ON MY PERIOD,
I'M A TOTAL BITCH.
1219
00:42:57,233 --> 00:42:58,379
SO SOMETIMES I GET UPSET.
1220
00:42:58,403 --> 00:43:00,147
- SO YOU'RE ON YOUR PERIOD NOW?
1221
00:43:00,171 --> 00:43:03,209
- [laughs]
1222
00:43:03,233 --> 00:43:04,550
- TO LEARN MORE
ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,
1223
00:43:04,574 --> 00:43:06,197
GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.
90023
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