All language subtitles for Shameless.US.S11E04.Shameless.NIMBY.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

Jesus Christ! What do you want?

Man, I've had, like,
two hours of sleep

in the last six months.

You want me to tell you
what happened last week

on Shameless?

I don't even remember my
own name, for Christ's sake.

Get out of here.

Hey, was waffling
an admission of guilt

out of that guy without
a lawyer present

ethical or whatever?

Our job isn't law
or ethics. It's justice.

That guy was running
away from the cops,

and he admitted
guilt... end of story.

So I was thinking I'm gonna
change out the windows,

and, I was actually
gonna replace 'em

with double glaze, anyway.

We gotta stop
hemorrhaging money.

I gotta get a picture for
Little Miss South Side.

Look how beautiful you are.

My girls have Little
Miss South Side

written all over their faces.

You got a boner?

No, that's my money roll.

Can we have it?

You two need

to pay someone security
for your daily cash run.

So pay me 25 percent
of your gross profits,

I'll do it for you.

Security and armed transport
from the bar to the bank.

I think we should do it.

How about don't
be a little bitch,

and you get to keep your job?

I'm not anybody's bitch.

Rock music.

Think of all the luck you got.

Know that it's not for naught.

You were beaming once before.

But it's not like that anymore.

What is this downside.

That you speak of?

What is this feeling.

You're so sure of?

Round up the friends you got.

Know that they're
not for naught.

You were willing once before.

But it's not like that anymore.

What is this downside.

That you speak of?

What is this feeling.

You're so sure of?

Hey, come on!

Hey, look.

Our new neighbors
came to welcome us,

even my pansy former son
and his stink-dick boyfriend.

I guess the city must've
made good on their threat

to condemn our old house.

That or the meth
lab caught fire again.

Well, what are they
doing here, though?

Terry's been banging the
lady who owns this place

for a couple of years.

Calls it his plan B.

Mrs. McCurdy? She's, like, 90.

Gotta do what you gotta do, man.

What's that smell?

That's the stench of
abject poverty, son.

Sickening, isn't it?

Actually, I think it
might be those chickens.

No, those ain't chickens.

Those are cocks.
Like, for cockfighting?

- Fighting chickens?
- They like it.

If they don't die.

It's natural for 'em.
You know, it's fun.

We have to move.

I don't wanna be the reason

for the next Black
Lives Matter march.

I'll get Trayvon Martin-ed
for sure if we stay here.

Jesus!

! - -Why's he shooting

- random shit?
- Aw...

He's playing "I Spy, You Shoot."

"I Spy, You Shoot"?

It's a kids' game.

Yeah, kid says, "I
spy with my little eye"

"that red stop
sign," or whatever,

and then the adult

shoots the stop sign.

Get off your
fucking high horses.

Anybody here feel
like they're the product

of good parenting,
raise your hand.

Okay, I don't have
time for this shit.

I gotta get Franny ready.

Where is Franny?

Fuck it, just dump the
used motor oil in the yard.

So I was thinking
we could go check out

that street racing club

at the abandoned over on Fulton.

Maybe get into a
high-speed car chase.

Ooh, maybe we could
stake out the First Federal,

stop a bank robbery in progress.

Or we can infiltrate the Mafia,

take down the Bajio
Family from the inside.

Or we down a couple
of these bad boys,

do all of the above.

Hey.

You know, I'm starting
to like you, Gallagher.

Most rooks can't hang,

but it's like police work is sex

and you've been
poppin' Viagra all day.

You hard right now, aren't you?

I'm very hard right now, ma'am.

Fully erect for police work.

Got a 28-05 on Benson

in front of the La Chiquita.

Twenty-eight-five? What's that?

Assault? Human trafficking?

Shots fired.

It's loitering.

Hit it, Billie.

Franny.

Rock music.

I did my hair.

My God!

Again with the back splatter?

Backsplash.

So, um

any interest in brunch?

Are we brunch people now?

An old teacher
of mine invited us.

You're friends
with an old teacher?

Mr. Hanisian.

He just moved
back from St. Louis.

I don't know.

Wasting the rest of the morning

eating pastries
with some old dude

who taught you,
what, pre-algebra?

- History? Creative writing?
- Music.

Great, maybe he can teach us

how to play "Hot Cross
Buns" on the recorder.

So is that a no?

Brunch is a scam.
You know that, right?

Marketers literally just
made up a fourth meal,

and we're all supposed
to go along with it?

Okay.

Well, he really
wanted to meet you,

but I'll just tell him

that you're too big of
an asshole to come.

Everything you wanted

I gave you it...

Well, that must be our perp.

- The loosie lady?
- Know her?

Yeah, she been selling
squares out here forever.

- Is that illegal?
- Gotta have a license.

Look like she has
a license to you?

Hey there, Officer.
Something I can get you?

I got menthol and regular.

We're not buying. We just...

Gallagher.

Any relation to Lip?

Yeah, he's my brother.

He used to be my best customer.

I haven't seen that handsome
face in a month of Sundays.

- Did he get busted again?
- No, he actually had a baby.

Them newborn babies
is bad for business.

- Hey.
- So look, unfortunately...

Y'all still live over there
by the Washingtons?

You know the Washingtons?

Ooh, yeah, we used to...

Fucking move your ass!

I catch you selling
out here again,

I'm busting your ass,
and I'm taking you in.

Okay! Miss June
respects the police.

Yes, she does.

All lives matter.

Blue lives. Them
blue lives matter.

Especially them blue lives.

I was doing it.

Could've fooled me.

It's me, dickhead.

By the way...

Hey, what you doin' today?

"It's me, dickhead,"

or just "me, dickhead"?

Yo...

Ian.

I'm just trying to
find the strength

to get off the couch
and search for another

minimum-wage,
dead-end, soul-crushing job

to appease my parole officer.

Yeah, well... what
if I offer you a job?

As what, getaway car driver?

Come on, weed money
security for the Alibi.

It's your lucky day, bitch.

- Come on.
- Yeah, thanks but no, thanks.

Fuck you. Why not?

I'm not doing anything illegal.

Weed's legal now.

Look, stop eating your
weight in Froot Loops.

Go get dressed.

Go on.

I don't think it's a good
idea for us to work together.

Well, let's get this
shit straight, then,

'cause it's not
"workin' together."

You're workin'
for me, all right?

I'm the boss.

Rock music.

No, thanks.

First comes crime,

then drugs.

Then they impregnate our women,

take over our schools,

drain and defraud
our public safety nets,

and finally,

the introduction of some
rare, communicable diseases

which they brought from

whatever exotic or savage
place they originally came from.

Weren't they living, like,
five minutes from here?

That's beside the point.

Our pure immune systems

can't handle a
Milkovich virus this close.

It's like living right next door

to a nuclear waste dump.

Sooner or later, the
radiation's gonna get ya.

This only ends with death.

We're gonna die? For real?

Odds just shot up considerably.

So we should move.

Move.

We don't cut and run.

That's not the Gallagher way.

We have a history
to defend here.

A culture.

A community.

No, we gotta figure
out how to stop them

before their slimy
poverty tentacles unfurl

and devour everything
on this block.

What are you
starin' at, Gallagher?

Just watching the
neighborhood go to shit

in real time.

We're the reason

the neighborhood's
goin' to shit?

You were here first.

What makes the Gallaghers

so much better
than the Milkoviches?

You mean other
than, daily showers

and the lack of swastikas?

It's a long list, Terry.
We'll be here all day.

You think you're better'n me?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

I am. We're all better than you.

The only thing
you're better than

is the blacks and the Mexicans

and the Jews.

Otherwise, you're a grade-F
lowlife like the rest of us.

Take that back.

Fuck no.

I said take that back.

Why don't you come
over here and make me?

You're lucky my
son's here, Terry.

'Cause if I wasn't trying

to set a positive
example for him...

Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk.

Baaaawk, bawk, bawk.

Drumming Bird's
"Second Best" playing.

Don't harass me
if I'm here on time.

Another day on
the assembly line...

- Fuck you do to that kid?
- She did it herself.

Thought superglue was hair gel.

Kids are idiots.

- No offense, Franny.
- Her head size?

Small? Extra-small.

She just turned five, so
whatever your smallest...

Okay. No problem.

Literally nobody

carries wigs for kids.

How 'bout you just let her
compete with her new do?

This stuff ain't comin' out,

and she actually
looks kind of punk rock.

No way. That
shit looks terrible.

Yeah, that's exactly
what I'm talking about.

I mean, how am I gonna
stand a chance with the judges

if even Mickey can see
that my kid looks like a

walking, talking dumpster fire?

No offense, Franny.

You're both conditioned to think

girls have to
look, like, one way.

Why does Franny have to conform?

You're just piling your
princess complex on her

'cause of your own childhood.

Break the cycle.

I am totally committed

to tearing down false
ideals of feminine beauty

after Franny wins
Little Miss South Side.

You guys should check out the,

children's hospital.

They got all the cancer
kids with the bald heads.

I mean, they gotta
have wigs over there

so they don't scare the
other kids when they go home.

- If they go home.
- That's a great idea, Mickey.

I'm declaring a Gallagher war.

- Debbie, can I count on you?
- Shh. On the phone.

A war on what?

A war to rid this community
of the Milkovich scourge.

You realize I'm
a Milkovich, right?

Yeah, me too.

Well, some Southerners
fought with the North

against slavery.

You can join our cause
if your heart is true.

Yeah, you're not gonna win.

Milkoviches are
an invasive species.

We don't die. We multiply.

Come on, you're
making our family sound

way worse than
they actually are.

Didn't your dad try to kill you?

Whatever.

Look, the point is,
I'm not just gonna

sit here and let you
shit-talk my family.

If you're content to fall on
the wrong side of history,

suit yourself.

Just know that you
will be judged harshly

for years to come.

Debbie! War?

Saint Brigid's gift shop

carries a whole
line of kids' wigs.

If we leave right
now, we can make it

in time for Little
Miss South Side.

Eee!

You see this?

Two eggs and toast for 14 bucks?

It's a total scam.

- There he is!
- It's crazy.

- ! There she is.
- Hi!

My gosh.

Wow.

And this must
be the lucky fella.

Hey, yeah, the famous
Mr., Hanisian, right?

I'm, Lip.

Jesus! "Mr. Hanisian"? Please.

It's Marcos.

I haven't been Tam-Tam's
teacher for a very long time.

- "Tam-Tam."
- Yes.

It's a long story, but
it has something to do

- with the tragic fate of a...
- The drum!

My God.

The drum!

I totally forgot
about that, but...

My gosh.

My fiancée sends her regards.

She was gonna join
us, but she got this call

for a last-second interview.

- Fiancée?
- Yes.

- Congrats!
- Thank you.

I made the reservation.

Let me just go tell
'em we're only three.

Yeah!

Upbeat music.

What are you doin'?

- Cleaning my gun.
- Yeah. Why?

Gotta transport
cash for the Alibi.

I thought you said
this job was legal.

- It is.
- Is the gun even registered?

Of course not.

You're a convicted felon.

Are you allowed
to have a gun at all?

That's why it's not
registered, dumb-ass.

Yeah, so weed might be
legal, but carrying a gun

as a convicted felon is
about as illegal as it gets.

What happens if
you get arrested,

get sent back to prison?

Look, I'm doin'
security. Need a gun.

Do you have anything
resembling an imagination

in that fucking skull of yours?

No. I like facts.

Things that are
real. Shit I can hold.

Like a gun.

Kev, where's Amy? Can't be late!

- She doesn't wanna go.
- What? She's goin'!

I'm sorry you didn't make
the cut for the contest

and Gemma did.

I know how bad you wanna
be standing beside her,

competing for the title,

but it's a cold
world, baby girl,

and it ain't gettin'
much warmer,

so fix your face,
put your mask up,

and get ready to
cheer for your sister.

- We got a problem!
- Jesus, Frank!

Where's your mask?

You can't just
walk into our house.

- It's an emergency!
- What happened?

Our community has been
infiltrated by undesirables.

- The Milkoviches.
- We gotta ban together

and figure out a way
to drive them back

to the vermin-infested
hellhole they crawled out of.

I will make them a pie.

It's the best way to win
over problem neighbors,

the good, old-fashioned way.

- Kev, I gotta go.
- You know, Frank,

the Milkoviches might be awful,

but living next to them

can't be much worse
than living next to you.

Soft rock music.

Hell no.

Handle this.

I'm on it.

Take it easy, Paul Bunyan.

Chop you down
to size real quick.

How do we get rid
of these fuckers?

I-I don't know.

Still poutin' over
that loosie lady stop?

No. I'm good.

Could've just shot her.
You know that, right?

- Would've been way quicker.
- Or you could've just

- gave the woman a break.
- That ain't no woman.

Don't you recognize big-dick
energy when you see it?

Look, we are cops.

We stop crime, period.

Fuck all this
community policing shit.

We bust heads. We arrest people.

That is our job.

Plus, all that jaw-jackin'
you were doin' with that lady,

you let your guard down.

That's exactly what
some of these mopes want.

Get you comfortable,
get familiar,

get close,

then they take out a
blade and they slice you.

Seen it a thousand times.

I don't think the loosie lady

would try to cut me.!

You think that she's made
it out here on these streets

for this long without
cuttin' somebody?

Shi-i-it.

I got a bridge to sell you.

You'll see.

Eventually, we're gonna
have to do something

about your relatives
living next door.

I can't even park my
truck outside anymore.

Yeah, that's a smart move.

My cousins will
break into it for sure.

I mean, there is one
silver lining, though.

What's that?

Well, you know, now you and I

live right next to each other.

Um

I mean, I don't live
with them anymore.

You don't?

- Then where do you live?
- Debbie?

Hey!

My gosh.

Look at you, Gemma.

Don't you look pretty?
Where you guys headed?

Little Miss South Side.

Franny's a finalist in
Little Miss South Side.

You're kidding.

No.

I-I didn't know you entered.

I didn't know you
entered either.

It's getting hot in here...

The more, the merrier, right?

A little friendly competition
never hurt anyone.

Exactly. This'll be fun.

So much fun.

This'll be so much fun.

Rock music.

Welcome to the lion's den.

You want me to replace
my gun with this shit?

No, look.

All you need is your
reputation as a Milkovich

and a little help
looking the part,

and no one will fuck with you.

Job's gonna be
fuckin' sweet, man.

I get to transport drugs
and money legally.

- Sky's the limit, bitch.
- Right.

Hey, thought you'd
be happy, man.

I can get us a new place.

Gotta move out of your house

now that my fuckin'
dad moved next door.

So you admit having
the Milkoviches next door

- is a problem.
- Fuck yeah.

We're loud, violent,
racist homophobes

with serious hygiene issues.

My dad tried to fuckin' kill us.

I just didn't wanna say
that in front of your family

'cause... fuck 'em.

Gallaghers are only, like, one
small step above Milkoviches

on, like, the shitty
family ladder.

Jesus.

You want me to play
fuckin' dress-up G.I. Joe?

Look the part.

Everyone will think
you're some sort

of special forces military
badass or somethin'.

Yeah, I'm not wearin' that shit

unless you're
wearin' it with me.

No way.

Okay, good.

Take my chances
with my regular clothes

and my real fuckin' gun.

Easier like that anyway.

Mick.

Wait.

See? What'd I say?

No dead cop.

Freeze! Police!

Wait. Solo?

White Boy Carl?

That's when all the altos

became the "alt-nos"!

Ooh!

My God!

- You're still funny.
- Aw.

And you still do that thing
where you crinkle your nose

and snort.

Nature calls.
I'll be right back.

So... what do you think?

What do I think? I think, um.

I think he definitely has a

has a thing for you, right?

Mellow music.

What?

I mean, yeah, I'm-I'm
gettin' this vibe that

I don't know, it's
weird, but he's

he's crushin' on you.

You-you don't see it?

Nope. I mean

not really.

Don't mean I'm
not worth the heat.

You're passing into section.

Cost collection of regression...

Okay, some for you

and some more for you

and just enough to
count as a felony for you.

Come on, man.
This some bullshit.

Damn.

Hey, Leesie.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah.

Down low, baby.

What are you doing?

Planting evidence.

Not all of them
were sorting pills.

Some of them were
just sitting there.

- So what are you suggesting?
- Let a few of 'em walk.

Like Solo. He's
actually a good dude.

He's a drug dealer.

There's always gonna be
a drug dealer on this block.

Solo's our best option.

Come on.

He sponsors a kids'
basketball team,

gives out turkeys
on Thanksgiving.

You know who's gonna replace
his spot if he gets locked up?

The cartel. They cut heads off.

You wanna be back
here in two weeks

matching heads with bodies?

Okay, we need at least two.

You pick. I'ma take these pills

back to the car, log
'em in as evidence.

Wait, which two?

I don't give a shit.

Let's spitball. Rapid fire.

What do you got?
No wrong answers.

How 'bout we all just move?

Wrong answer. Not an option.

How 'bout we just pay someone
to burn down their house?

You know how close
our houses are to theirs?

Might as well just
set ourselves on fire

and cut out the middleman.

Is there any value in
letting loose a bedbug

and-and lice infestation?

Bedbugs and lice
will just spend a week

training at the Milkoviches',

Learning, evolving,

getting strong and shit.

Then they'll attack our
houses with maxed-out abilities.

- We won't stand a chance.
- Here's an idea.

We find a new house,

pack up all our stuff,

and take that stuff
to the new house

and live there forever,
away from the racists.

Maybe we're going
about this all wrong.

This is exactly the-the
low-rent line of thinking

we're trying to protect
this neighborhood from.

We need classy solutions.

What would a well-established,
civilized homeowner do?

How should I know?

Start a neighborhood watch.

- A homeowner's association.
- Frank,

that'll take weeks to set up.

We need them out ASAP,

preferably by the
time V gets back.

We need to go right at 'em.

Match their
aggression, their crazy.

Scare the shit out of 'em
the same way they scare us.

Right.

Fear and intimidation's
probably the only way.

Fear? Intimidation?

Who's gonna scare
the Milkovichesus?

Not us, son.

But I know who will.

Rock music.

What's goin' on here?

This?

Just wanted to freshen
up Franny's look.

And this is the look

you think screams
Little Miss South Side?

Yeah, sure is.

Upbeat music

I never thought I'd live
in the fancy part of town,

but the older I get, the
more I appreciate space,

quiet.

So when we decided to move back,

Near North just made sense.

- Do you rent or own?
- Own.

It's-it's the only way to go.

So I hear.

I'm actually somewhat of a

real estate
enthusiast, you know?

Buy, sell, fix 'em, flip 'em.

Nothing huge, but
if I see the potential,

I'm willing to make that
investment, you know?

Rolling up my sleeves and

getting to work.

Lip's been doing all the
renovations at our place.

It was basically a tear-down,
but now... looks pretty great.

- Thank you.
- Good for you, Lip.

Love to check it out sometime.

Yeah, sure, yeah,
come by anytime.

I bet Tam-Tam remembers
that first house I owned,

that two-bedroom fixer-upper?

Yes. Yeah, it was cute.

Sorry, wait, so you
went to his house

when you were a student
and he was a teacher?

She was over all the time.

It was a different era, okay?

People weren't so
uptight back then.

It was 2010.

How 'bout that, little studio
I built in the basement?

Yes!

What was that song we recorded?

My heart can be.

Such a stranger to me.

We come and we go.

The only way we know how.

If love's a fortune-teller.

We belong together.

'Cause I can't.

Lose you now.

No, I can't.

Lose you.

You can't help the one you love.

The one you love is
the one you love, so

bluesy music.

So you not gonna arrest me?

No, but for this to
work, you gotta tell me

which two of your
boys go in your place.

Word.

A'ight, let me think

you can take Cam.
He owe me money.

How's he gonna pay you
back if he's in prison, though?

Good point. Leave him.

You can take him.

Yeah, he was supposed to
borrow his mom's AC unit,

but he forgot; That's
part of the reason

why we outside and not in
the house in the first place.

All right, who else?

Twist.

Yeah, you can take Twist.

He talk too much.

Well, think he's a snitch?

Nah, not like that.
No, he just talk a lot.

Mainly about, you know,
the TV and shit he watches.

He really into all
of that British shit.

You know, like Downton
Abbey, The Crown.

I don't know, man.

You want the
Milkoviches gone fast,

these are the guys to do it.

I don't think these
guys are gonna help us,

- considering how white we are.
- I'm right here.

Frank, if you were any
more white, you'd be clear.

I shared a cell
with the head guy

back in the '90s.

I speak the lingo.

I understand their ideology.

I'm practically an
honorary member.

Come on.

As-salaam alaikum.

How are y'all?

No need for pleasantries.

We've got sort of a...
neighborhood situation

which might be of
interest to you gents.

Why would this interest us,

the Lost Tribe of Shabazz,

poor righteous teachers,
the fruit of Islam?

Because they're racist.

I'm sure you don't
want racists here.

So you want us to, what,

go over there, strike
the fear of Allah into 'em,

drive 'em out, use
force if we have to?

Yeah, that. Exactly that.

Go jihad if you have to.

I'm glad we're on the same page.

You know what this
sounds like to me?

A perfect opportunity
for us all to work together

against a common enemy.

Sounds like a
Yacubian devil problem,

and we got no
business joinin' one devil

in his fight against the other.

I'm sorry, um... I
missed that first part.

- Yacubi what?
- It means white people.

We're the devil.

Right, got it. Carry on.

If not for us

do it for him.

Little brother, is it true
what this devil is saying

about the more
devilish devils next door?

- You scared?
- Terrified.

We'll do it but
only to demonstrate

the awesome power the
Asiatic Black man possesses

when we stand fearlessly
against the wicked ways

of those who would oppress us.

Now, who are these
devils we evictin'?

What are their names?

Well, these particular devils

go by the name of Milkovich.

You know, I forgot.

I forgot we got a pray
thing that we gotta do.

We-we pray, like,
five times a day.

So we gon-we gonna do that.

Good luck to you fellas.

Peace and blessings.

Come on, Franny, the judges
asked you what you like to do.

What'd you tell me last week?

You like to, dress
up like a princess.

You your doll house collection.

Tell 'em about that.

Why don't we just skip
on to the talent portion?

Right... come on,
baby. Sing your song.

. Sing your song, Franny.

Don't do this to me.

Scuse me.

I just wanna remind the
panel of esteemed judges

about the strict time limit.

Unfortunately, this
contestant's time has elapsed

98 seconds ago.

Thank God. She's right.

- That is all!
- But she...

Miss Gallagher, your time's up.

Upbeat music.

Look, it's SEAL Team Dicks.

No, they're trying to
infiltrate our breach

from the rear.

Jesus.

A little overdressed,
don't you think?

Look, you want your
money to be safe or not?

Let's get to it. What's the job?

Pretty straightforward.

Just take the money
to the grow house

so we can get on the
regular delivery list.

Grow house? I thought
I was your supplier.

Supply and demand leveled out.

Everyone's got
legal product again.

Well, for fuck's sake, Kev.

All right.

Chop-chop. Collect the money.

You collect the money.

I'm the boss, 'member?

I just supervise and
shit; You do all the work.

Fuck you. I don't work for you.

You're making me
look bad, asshole.

All right, I got two of these

in case you got too
much cash to move.

All right. Turn around.

Where I keep my
money's for my eyes only.

I'm serious! Turn around.

Put your head down.

Funky music.

Okay.

There ya go.

What's this?

Yesterday's profits.

This is only, like, 1,500 bucks.

$1,653.

Take that money, minus
your cut, to the grow house.

They're waiting.

This is...

What are we gonna do
about the Milkoviches?

We could go to the
Nation of Islam for help.

- Those guys are...
- We just did that, Frank,

literally less than an hour ago.

I know that.

Th-th-that's-that's
not what I meant!

I meant we could go back

or we could get to Mrs. McCurdy,

talk to her,

try to convince
her to evict them.

Record her living conditions.

It's gotta be horrific in there

now that the Milkoviches
have moved in.

There's no way
they'd let 'em stay there

if there was proof
of elder abuse.

There's no way they're
gonna let you get near her.

They got that place surrounded.

If we created a distraction,

draw them to the
front of the house,

I could sneak in the back.

What gets white
trash's attention?

A Trans Am that needs fixin'?

A Black athlete
disrespecting our flag.

- A gun rally.
- A Klan rally.

A monster truck rally.

Well, any rally, really.

I think I know what
might do the trick.

Let me get my running shoes.

I am just a fan of all
your power and might

I know you can,
you're the man...

Well, let's get goin'

Let's get goin'

You got it.

Let's get goin'

You got it.

All right, you haven't
said a word since brunch.

Well, that is because I'm
pretty much speechless.

Okay.

Why?

Maybe 'cause you fucked
your teacher in high school?

What? No.

No, so-so you didn't
fuck your teacher.

We dated..

It was a serious relationship.

Okay, yeah, we slept together.

- But it was beautiful.
- God, I knew it.

You couldn't have given me
a heads-up before brunch?

No, because I figured
you wouldn't get it.

Nobody gets it.

Look, you're already judging me.

You were a kid. That's
some pedophile shit!

I was mature for my age,
and I went after him, so...

You don't know how
it was between us.

Okay, I wasn't a child.

He saw me for me.

I saw him for him.

That's what made it beautiful.

I gotta go work on my bike.

What the hell was that in there?

Just making sure the judges
are abidin' by their own rules.

- Nothing personal.
- It sure feels personal.

It feels like you're trying
to sabotage Franny.

When you're used to privilege,
equality feels like oppression.

Privilege? Me?

I grew up worse off
than you... with Frank!

Yeah, who ever heard
of a little blonde girl

getting special treatment?

Scuse me. Amy has
to go to the bathroom.

That bitch.

Maybe you should just drop it.

Fuck that.

Hey, Franny, I
have a great idea.

Do you wanna help
Gemma with her makeup?

I think that you could
make her look really pretty.

- Wanna do it?
- Debbie, don't.

V started it.

This lady sure does have
a massive set of balls.

Dramatic music.

Well, hey there, Officer.
Something I can get you?

Whatow! Are you...
What is wrong with you?

Get off of me! Hell
is wrong with you?

You crazy! Aah!

Fucking get off of me!

- What are you do...
- Hey!

No!

Last... warning.

Well, fuck you, then,
you raggedy old,

dusty old, musty old, oink-oink,

Porky Pig, Oscar
Mayer bacon bitch!

Fuck the police!

What did you just say to me?

You really expect
me to repeat all that?

Strip.

Bitch, I said strip!

Lose the dress now.

Wig too.

- Leesie.
- No, she gonna learn.

Wig!

Come on, now!

Let's go to the car
and get a Red Bull.

I'm having a 2:30 in the
afternoon sorta feeling,

know what I'm saying?

Death metal music.

Enough is enough!

We won't tolerate hate
in this neighborhood.

- This is stupid.
- You say stupid.

I say necessary.

Hey, buddy.

How ya doing?

It's Frank. Remember me? I'm

I mean, yeah, I
live in the hood.

You remember? Yeah, you know me!

Yeah!

Yeah.

That one's gotta hurt?

I got a whole stack of these.

I'm thinkin' about
burning all of 'em.

I think we just
spooked him. Come on.

Jesus! Okay! Okay!

Ooh, ooh, easy,
easy, easy, easy.

Holy shit! Even
their dog is racist.

How 'bout that?

I think you gotta go in.

The Milkoviches have
probably fantasized

about finding some Black
kid breaking into their house.

Every cause needs a martyr.

No, Frank.

I-I'm the only one who
can keep the dog quiet.

If he keeps barking,
we're gonna get caught.

I'm counting on you, son.

We all are.

Easy.

What are you gonna do?

You gonna chase me?

Gonna try to stop
me, beat me up?

Why would we do that?

I'm literally torching
your entire belief system.

It's incredibly disrespectful.

I don't know. It's
just paper, man.

Yeah, symbols are just symbols.

I mean, even that big
old flag back there...

It's meaningless, really.

What are you talking about?

Real racism...
it's in our hearts,

in our minds, in our souls.

Can't burn that, dude.

Are you okay?

Are you being held
here against your will?

Have all these people
moved into your house

without your permission?

Mrs. McCurdy,

is there anything you can
tell me about Terry Milkovich?

Terry Milkovich?

I'll tell you about Terry.

He's a beast.

Death metal music.

How was I supposed to know

they didn't have any money?

Well, you should have
checked how much

we'd actually be transporting.

Well, it wouldn't matter
if you hadn't made us buy

this stupid-ass SWAT team shit.

Which wouldn't fucking matter

if you made half as
much as you promised.

"Could be thousands,
maybe millions.

Be fucking billionaires
by Tuesday."

You know what?
You're fuckin' fired.

You can't fire somebody
you never employed.

I was trying to help you out.

Angelic music.

Holy shit!

Hey, Tam, where's my soap?

You know, the
grease pumice stuff.

- I put it under the sink.
- Why?

I want the nice shit out.
We're having company.

- We are?
- Yeah.

Marcos and his fiancée.

Twice in one day?

I mean, brunch was
more than enough,

don't you think?

Well, you're the
one who invited him.

The fuck I did.

You said, "Come by anytime."

Well, he's taking
you up on your offer.

- Hi.
- Hi!

This is Kelly

my fiancée.

Hi.

You okay, Eilish?

All right, well, good
shift today, man.

You're really taking
to this police shit.

You gonna be a decent cop.

Just clean out the
car, go on home,

get some rest

back at it again tomorrow.

More heads to bust.

Funky music.

Before we make
our final decision,

we'd like to ask
each of the mothers

to explain what
excites them most

about the Little
Miss South Side title.

We can start with
you, Miss Gallagher.

Well

I think that Franny is

most excited about
becoming an ambassador

for our community,

showing the rest of the city

what the South Side's all about.

Whether it's, going
to a little league game

or a parade or the grand
opening of a new Arby's,

there's no place
that we won't go.

Do you even go to those places?

Excuse me?

I'm just saying,
given your status,

are you allowed to
go to those events?

Are you allowed to be here?

I got special permission.

I'm sorry, what status?

She's a registered sex offender.

Hot lesbian convict? That's her.

You bitch!

Who you callin' a bitch, bitch?

You, you drug-dealing bitch!

She's a drug dealer.
She deals drugs.

I am a legal cannabis
entrepreneur!

What, a Black woman can't be...

Technically, I am a
registered sex offender...

And look what she did
to my daughter's face.

I would never touch a child!

A broke-down little
1980s pageant little girl!

Rock music.

Okay, I guess this is enough

to keep them back on
our delivery schedule.

- Barely.
- All right, thanks.

I'll let 'em know.

You guys new?

Haven't seen you around before.

What are you guys

ex-military, Rangers,

SEALs, Delta Force?

Y-yeah, yeah. All that shit.

I... I-I just got back from,

mowin' down terrorists
overseas, you know?

Took out a whole

village. Fuck those guys.

- Right on.
- Yeah.

I could need another pro
security firm on our roster.

Business... is booming.

We can't keep up with all
the pickups and deliveries.

I am your man, you
know? Very professional.

Extra professional.

How much are we gonna get paid?

It's gotta be worth our time.

Going rate is a grand a day.

That's a little lower
than what I'm used to,

but

we'll make it work, ya know?

So, yeah, we still
got a lot of work

we wanna do in here.

Um... maybe some
under-cabinet LEDs.

Exhaust hood here, obviously.

Yeah, yeah, no, I like how
you smoothed the grout

where you really should
have used some quarter round.

They didn't have any
quarter round available?

- Well, shit's expensive, so...
- Yeah.

But it's worth it.

When I was young like you,

I went for efficiency.

But eventually, I learned
the value of quality.

No rush.

That's the advantage
of experience.

You just take it nice and slow

and get it all the way right.

Kelly, we weren't sure

we'd get the chance to meet you.

Um, how did that
job interview go?

Job interview?

Yeah, that's where Marcos
said you were today, right?

Admissions interview for school.

What-what schools
you lookin' at,

Northwestern, Columbia, Loyola?

Greenfield Prep. High school.

I'm one semester
short of graduating.

Wait. So you were his student?

Technically, I guess.

But... he saw me for me.

And I saw him for him, and

that's what makes us so special.

Right.

Okay.

After careful deliberation,

we'd like to
announce the winner.

Wait.

Before you announce the winner,

I never got a chance to say

why my family is
excited about this title.

I grew up on the South Side.

And I know what it would mean

to the little Black
girls who live here

to see someone
who looks like them

wearing that tiara and sash.

I know what it will mean
to them to have someone

who looks like my Gemma.

The South Side
doesn't really feel like

the South Side anymore,

at least not in the
way that I remember it.

But that doesn't mean
we should stop trying

to preserve what makes
our community special.

And it's not just about race.

It's about pride. It's
about perseverance.

It's about working together

to strive for the
American dream,

even though it feels
a million miles away.

I guess all I'm sayin' is,

Little Miss South Side

should represent the South Side,

not just in the way she looks

but also in the way
she can inspire.

She should show little girls

that you can still
aim to be something

and maybe those dreams

are just a little closer
than you think they are.

Stirring music.

If there are no more speeches.

Your new Little Miss South Side

from Aleppo, Syria,

visiting Chicago for her
spina bifida treatment,

Amena Farah Uri Abbasi.

Terry Milkovich?

I'll tell you about Terry.

He's a beast.

A beast in the sack.

And I thank God every day

that he came into my life.

And then I ask God
to avert his eyes,

because what we do

it's a sin.

Have you ever heard
of something called

fisting, young man?

That's where Terry makes a fist

and shoves it up my...

All right, all right, enough.

We pissed off the Milkoviches,

and we managed to
make things worse.

Well, chin up, lad. We'll
be at it again tomorrow.

What time should I come
by so we can get started, 11?

And they're still comin'.

How many more of these fuckers
can they cram into that dump?

Hey, neighbors!

I hope you don't mind

our takin' over the
empty lot next door to ya.

House was gettin' crowded.

But this works, right?

Jesus, now we're
surrounded by Milkoviches.

Can you believe that little
Syrian heifer stole our crown?

I know.

I mean, we're from
the South Side.

What the hell has
she been through?

I'm sorry, Debs.

Me too.

- We cool?
- Yeah.

Well, if you two are done
kissing and making up,

- I sort of wanna...
- Yeah, let's get out of here.

Get the fuck out.

- See ya, V.
- Bye, girl.

I almost forgot.

Miss Fisher.

Alderman Jenkins.

I really enjoyed your speech.

Not enough to vote for my Gemma.

Look, between you,
me, and the lamppost,

this event is put on by
the Chamber of Commerce.

Their goal is to
generate commerce.

They see all these gentrifiers
as a way of making more money.

And that Syrian girl's sob story

appeals to millennials
and bleeding hearts.

The Chamber is
a major contributor

to my reelection campaign.

Can't bite the hand
that feeds me, but

I could use you.

Democratic Party of
Chicago could use you.

Someone with your passion,

with your gift for
persuasive speech

you've got talent.

Thank you.

I'd love to pick your
brain sometime,

get your opinion
on local issues,

see where there
might be an opportunity

to get you involved.

Okay, drive safe. Thanks again.

Yeah, appreciate
you guys coming by.

Again soon, okay?

Maybe we can get together...

What... the... fuck?

I-I mean, what's
the matter with him?

- She's, like, ten!
- Seventeen, she said.

Eighteen soon.

Age ain't nothin'
but a number, right?

It's gotta be,
what... it's, what

daddy issues?

I mean, I didn't
have daddy issues.

I don't have daddy issues.

I mean, I love my dad, yeah,

but in a completely
normal, healthy way.

Right.

You think I have daddy issues.

You know what?

Fuck off! I do not!

Come on, you've
been around my family.

Yeah, we have our quirks,
but we're pretty normal.

And sure,

I guess, you know,
when my mom died,

we all got thrown for a loop.

But that's normal.

And Cami, she took the reins

and she went from
being my big sister

to de facto mom, and
my dad, he stepped up

and he put all of
his attention on Cory

'cause she was the baby
and she needed her dad.

And that you know, that left me

in the middle

alone

desperate for attention.

And that's

right when I started
dating Marcos.

My God.

I have daddy issues.

I thought I was... so smart

and mature.

But really, I was needy
and daddy-starved

and dumb.

I mean, I got played
by a pedophile.

God, I am a fucking cliché.

Soft music.

You're not dumb..

All right?

You were immature
and vulnerable,

and he took advantage of you.

Now you're smarter.

You make great decisions,

like choosing an
age-appropriate,

handsome stud like me.

I don't want no smoke.

Po-po, go away.

Go away!

Look, you can just
leave me the hell alone,

because I ain't sellin' shit.

Somme's "Goin' On" playing.

A little older, I don't mind it.

'Cause she's got
her shit together.

Like nobody else I know.

She's pretty much a batter.

But she'll never
let you call her that.

She's humble so I run from her,

Steady on the daily, no,
she's never acting shady...

You wanna keep selling,

gotta move east a little bit,

over by the Five-Star
Check Cashing.

We don't roll
through there much.

All that I need.

Thank you...

Officer Gallagher.

And everyone agrees.

She's got it goin' on.

She's got it goin' o-on.

She can do no wrong.

'Cause she's got it goin' on.

[REO Speedwagon's
"Can't Fight This Feeling".

How you like it?
Come on! Come on!

Come on! Take your teeth out!

Yeah!

Come on! Come on! You like that?

Terry, Terry, you're a beast!

Come crashing through your door.

God!

Baby, I can't
fight this feeling.

Anymore.

Hoo-ooh.

Ooh-ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo-hoo