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1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:02,534
-Mmm.
2
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,937
-Listen, Max.
-Hm?
3
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,372
-Ever since we got
back together,
4
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:09,375
there's a question I feel
like I have to ask you.
5
00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:10,843
-Sure. Anything?
6
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:13,245
-Did we get better at this?
7
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,681
-Well, we have to give
a little bit of credit
8
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,950
to that performance enhancer
you gave me.
9
00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:21,053
This knee brace
is a game-changer.
10
00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:23,956
-Alright, got to go get
ready for Halloween.
11
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:26,425
Though, what we did was a treat
and involved a few tricks.
12
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,360
-Mm.
13
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,195
Maybe we should just
blow off the costume.
14
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,830
I mean, you already are
a sexy nurse.
15
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,332
-Hey, that's demeaning.
16
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:36,769
Sexy nurse practitioner.
17
00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:38,704
But we're doing the costumes.
18
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,172
-I can't wait. Ooh!
19
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,474
But before you go,
there is something
20
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,176
I want to give you.
21
00:00:47,515 --> 00:00:49,214
In the shower.
22
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:55,888
-God bless that knee brace.
23
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,322
-♪ This is it ♪
24
00:00:57,324 --> 00:00:58,724
♪ Oh, oh, oh, whoa ♪
25
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,759
♪ One day at a time ♪
26
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:07,332
-Oh, good!
You are going out for Halloween.
27
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,534
-Mm-hmm.
28
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,269
I'm climate change activist
Greta Thunberg,
29
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:14,473
and Syd is a melting iceberg
because you're too hot.
30
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:16,141
-Oh!
31
00:01:16,143 --> 00:01:18,844
-We're Thunberg and iceberg!
32
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:21,747
-Why can't you just be cats?
33
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,983
You're already got the whiskers.
34
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,552
-Well, we are not going
trick-or-treating.
35
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,554
We are going door to door
to collect signatures
36
00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,589
and inform people
about man-made climate change.
37
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:34,026
-Oh, shouldn't we say
person-made climate change?
38
00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:37,596
-I'm good with men taking
the credit for this one.
39
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,331
-Halloween is the perfect night
40
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,167
because suckers will
open the door for anybody.
41
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:43,735
-Oh, yeah.
You ring the doorbell,
42
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:44,903
and before they even know
what's happening,
43
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,472
we hit them with the facts.
44
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:50,776
-Bam! Damage will be
irreversible by 2030.
45
00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:54,379
-Bam! Welcome to
the insect apocalypse.
46
00:01:54,381 --> 00:01:59,718
-Bam! That is the sound of
a door slamming in your face.
47
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,120
Put this outside.
48
00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:02,621
-Ugh, with that bobo
in the White House,
49
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,390
I can't stand to look
at an orange face right now.
50
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,425
-He's like a pumpkin.
51
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,827
He will get thrown out
in November.
52
00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:18,504
-Well, guess what we are?
53
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:22,608
-A reminder to shave my legs?
54
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,643
-No! Come on!
55
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,212
This is serious!
56
00:02:27,214 --> 00:02:29,982
-It's okay, babe.
They just -- They need a hint.
57
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,387
-Okay, okay.
58
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:39,758
You are a cow, and you
have stepped in the cow caca.
59
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,661
-Goat yoga!
60
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,229
Go-o-o-oat.
61
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:45,397
Yoga.
62
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,965
Obviously!
63
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,501
Ugh, we're never gonna win.
64
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,270
-He's got a lot riding
on winning tonight's
65
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:54,373
Halloween costume contest
at the Echo Park country club.
66
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:56,275
-We have a country club
in Echo Park?
67
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,177
-Oh, no, it's the Beverly Hills
Country Club.
68
00:02:58,179 --> 00:02:59,845
They just call it
Echo Park on Halloween
69
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,915
to make it sound scary.
70
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,316
-I've never won.
71
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,385
But this year, I can't lose
because I have
72
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,853
Avery in my life,
73
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,389
and I'm finally
in a loving relationship.
74
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:11,423
-Aww.
75
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,525
-And couple's costumes
always win!
76
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,428
The prize is an iPad mini,
and I never win anything.
77
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,730
-You're a rich, straight,
cisgender white dude.
78
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,733
You won at life.
79
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,902
-But I want an iPad mini.
80
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:27,773
-Ooh! Hey!
81
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:30,876
What are you, Little Bo Peep
and a messed-up sheep?
82
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,682
-Come on.
Let's go back to our apartment.
83
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:39,484
-Oh!
It's a Halloween miracle.
84
00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:41,386
-A hardy-har, har-har-har!
85
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,656
-Mom, we're gonna go now.
86
00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:46,158
-Ooh!
You two look great.
87
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,492
This is a lot better
than last year's
88
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,529
toxic drinking water
and tumor costumes.
89
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:51,863
-Yeah.
90
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:55,300
We really bummed out
that senior center.
91
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:57,002
-Bye-bye.
92
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,938
-Lupita, you look so happy.
93
00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,673
Did you enjoy your walk?
94
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,776
-Walk?
-Of shame!
95
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:08,480
I know you were with Max
doing hanky-panky
96
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:12,651
when you needed to be here
doing tricky-treaty.
97
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,253
-Mami, I don't know
what you're talking about.
98
00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,955
We were knitting sweaters
and reading the Bible.
99
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,558
-What is wrong with you?
100
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,961
I would have broken him down
like a cardboard box.
101
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:26,965
Put this outside.
102
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,034
-Okay, I'll do that.
103
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:35,107
Hey, take it somewhere else,
you old creep!
104
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,975
-Oh! Hey, Mom.
105
00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,879
-Whoa!
106
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:42,547
Look at that hair!
107
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:43,715
What's your costume?
108
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,251
Anderson Cooper, Billy Idol,
Steve Martin?
109
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:49,655
-I don't know who
any of those people are.
110
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,823
-Doesn't he look like
he could be in a boy band?
111
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:55,527
-Yeah, Boyz II Old Men.
112
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,462
-Mom, wait.
This isn't my costume.
113
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,564
I dyed my hair.
114
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,300
-Like, permanently?
115
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:03,702
How could you do that
without asking me?
116
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,270
-I did ask you.
117
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:08,674
I said, "Mom, on Halloween,
can I dye my hair silver?"
118
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,642
-Why would you use Halloween
in that sentence?
119
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,377
That is so misleading.
120
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,047
-[ Gasps ]
121
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:18,650
Papito, what have you done?
122
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,686
-Mm-hmm.
123
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,789
-You look just like your abuelo.
124
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:26,358
[ Chuckles ]
125
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:30,929
Tonight, I will put you in
his suit, and we will dance.
126
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:34,833
-Oh, I've made a big mistake.
127
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,401
-Yeah, you did.
128
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,003
We'll talk about it later
when you get back
129
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,204
from trick-or-treating.
130
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,606
-Uh, yeah,
I think I'm over that.
131
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,775
-Wait, so you're doing
trick-or-treating?
132
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:46,345
Was last year your last year?
Why didn't you tell me?
133
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:48,280
-How could I tell you last year
was the last year
134
00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:51,249
if I didn't know
until this year?
135
00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:54,653
-Well, you're a wise old man,
figure it out.
136
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:55,787
-I'm sorry.
137
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,055
But can I please go to Nora's?
138
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,423
Her parents are having a party.
139
00:05:58,425 --> 00:05:59,991
-Don't worry,
he'll be home in time
140
00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,460
to take his arthritis pills.
141
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:04,196
-Ooh!
That's a good one.
142
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,864
Yes, you can go to Nora's house.
143
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:09,301
But make sure you're home in
time to spoon your grandmother.
144
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,072
Bye, papito!
145
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:17,476
[ Cellphone rings ]
146
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:21,680
Hello, Max.
147
00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:24,516
What are you wearing?
148
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,284
-Rubber.
149
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,253
But not in a fun way.
150
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,288
Just got done
cleaning my bathroom.
151
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,494
-Oh!
152
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,462
-Well, I can't wait to see you.
153
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:44,069
-Pregnancy test?
154
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,437
-Oh, I can't wait to see you,
too.
155
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,139
I was just about to head over.
156
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:49,141
Are you sure you have
enough candy?
157
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:52,978
-Completely sure, positive.
158
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,679
-I can stop.
159
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,115
-I've been through this
a couple times before.
160
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,483
100% sure.
161
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,453
-You want to come over here
162
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,188
instead of handing out candy
all night?
163
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,656
-What am I supposed to do,
leave it in a basket
164
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,225
outside the door
and hope someone takes it?
165
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,730
That's not how I was raised.
166
00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,732
-Eso!
167
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:14,933
-What, Mami?
168
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,302
-Queso!
169
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:20,705
It's Spanish for "cheese."
170
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:26,044
Sa-Heh!t.
171
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:31,149
[ Both humming ]
172
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,985
[ Both laugh ]
173
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:37,756
-Oh, I got to admit, "Grease"
was a great costume idea.
174
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:41,259
-Right?
Because we go together.
175
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,128
-Is it weird that
I'm really attracted to you
176
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,298
even though you're technically
dressed as a high-school girl?
177
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:50,302
-Nah. Every teen in that movie
was pushing 40.
178
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:54,773
Instead of zits, they were
worried about liver spots.
179
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:58,176
-Presenting
the House of Schneider!
180
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:05,784
-Serving Halloween Extravaganza
realness.
181
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,691
Well, do you get it?
182
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,860
-Drag...race.
183
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,995
You're drag race.
-Yes!
184
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,463
Thank you!
185
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,665
I mean, it's really more
of a history lesson in heels.
186
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:25,637
The full title is "Drag Race --
A Drag Queen Started Stonewall."
187
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,140
-Oh, "Drag Race." That's cute.
188
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:32,377
-Oh, no, don't say that.
189
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,812
-Cute?
190
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:37,883
Do you think I tucked
and taped for cute?
191
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,217
-You're in a dress.
192
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,853
I think you tucked and taped
for nothing.
193
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,889
-Cute's for losers.
194
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:46,558
Last year, I went as
the "Hang in There" cat.
195
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,895
Nothing.
196
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:51,730
I almost gave up for good,
and then I looked in the mirror,
197
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,132
and something inspired me
to keep going.
198
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,570
Anyway, back
to the drawing board.
199
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,542
-He actually draws on a board.
200
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,609
Stick figures.
201
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:07,546
It's very sad.
202
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,481
I can fix him.
203
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:12,684
[ Door closes ]
204
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,452
-She's a lucky woman.
-Yeah.
205
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,022
Alright, now it's time
for a little summer lovin',
206
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,024
and, by summer, I mean, October,
and by lovin',
207
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:21,693
I mean wine.
[ Knock on door ]
208
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,562
[ Pounding on door ]
209
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,063
-Ooh! Candy duty calls!
210
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,565
-Ooh, our first
trick-or-treaters.
211
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,668
I love seeing those
little cuties all dressed up!
212
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,509
-The Beast is here!
213
00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:39,744
-So is the Beauty!
214
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,381
-Wow!
215
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,616
Beauty and the Beast!
216
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,952
You guys did a couple's costume,
too!
217
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,821
-They were a couple?
218
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,923
I never saw the movie.
219
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,792
I thought it was about
a beautiful woman
220
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,394
and her pet dog in a tuxedo.
221
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:02,000
Leslie, may I see you
in the kitchen?
222
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:02,968
-Oh!
223
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,303
Shall I be your guest?
224
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:08,873
-Why are you being weird?
225
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,775
Get in the kitchen!
226
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,987
Look.
227
00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,900
-I don't know who the father is,
but, I assure you,
228
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:39,304
I will raise this baby
as my own.
229
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,372
-No, Leslie.
230
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:41,806
It is not my baby!
231
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,776
-Oh, thank God.
I can't raise a baby.
232
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:50,782
I -- I can't even get up
off of this knee.
233
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,851
Maybe I should try one of
those knee braces
234
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,021
Penelope's raving about at work.
235
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:59,624
-Penelope is pregnant.
236
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:02,927
-Dios mio!
237
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,330
Does Max know about this?
238
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:08,733
-I think that is what they are
talking about right now.
239
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,902
They deserve privacy.
240
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:15,206
They're not gonna get it,
but they deserve it.
241
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,409
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
242
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:19,744
Okay. What should we hit them
with first?
243
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:23,014
How rising sea levels will
destroy coastal communities,
244
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,416
or the coming political chaos
245
00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:27,185
caused by widespread
food insecurity?
246
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,588
-They're both so inevitable.
247
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:33,491
Okay. You decide,
and I'll use what I learned
248
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:37,862
from my summer improv course
to "Yes, and" whatever you say.
249
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,498
-Okay.
250
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,770
-Ooh, ooh, ooh!
251
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:50,341
Anna and Olaf from "Frozen"!
252
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:51,509
-What? No, no, no.
253
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,211
We're not from "Frozen."
254
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:57,916
-Yes, and what's not frozen
is the Arctic!
255
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,351
-So cute.
Two pieces of candy each!
256
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,854
-Oh! Thank you, but we actually
are here because --
257
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,489
[ Both speaking indistinctly ]
258
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,092
-We need a --
259
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,129
He totally didn't realize
that our costumes
260
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,865
are making
a radical political statement.
261
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,568
-He just thought
we were adorable.
262
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,804
-[ Scoffs ] Men.
263
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:23,041
Okay, well, let's not panic
264
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:26,845
because we can get it right
on this one.
265
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:34,352
Hi. We're here to talk
about climate --
266
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,020
-Oh, my stars!
267
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:40,291
What very clever
and timely costumes.
268
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,693
-Thank you!
269
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:44,195
-Dorothy and the tornado!
270
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,033
-We really didn't
think this through.
271
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,368
-Well, here we go.
272
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,604
-Oh, uh, thank you so much,
but, actually --
273
00:12:52,606 --> 00:12:54,973
-We wanted to talk to you
about climate change!
274
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,946
What is going on?
275
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,082
-I'll tell you what's going on.
276
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,518
Full-size candy bars!
277
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:07,685
Let's try the next door.
278
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,287
-Oh, to see if they'll sign
the petition.
279
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,223
-No, to see
if they have Snickers.
280
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,726
-Yes, and maybe Twix?
281
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:17,629
-Yes.
282
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,164
-Alright, I'm calling it.
283
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,299
Once the 30-year-old Spongebob
comes around,
284
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,636
it's time to close up shop.
285
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,271
-Well, we did it.
-Yes!
286
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,107
-Thanks for having me over.
This was fun.
287
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,609
-Well, when Alex said
he was done trick-or-treating,
288
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:35,914
I realized a part of my life
was ending, but...
289
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,982
I guess another part
is beginning.
290
00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,787
-Sounds like we should
make a toast.
291
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,189
-Yes.
292
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,924
To new beginnings!
293
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,560
-Chardonnay is not for babies!
294
00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:49,627
-What?
295
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,600
What is happening?
296
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,669
-You are pregnant.
297
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,204
-You're pregnant?
298
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:02,507
-No!
-Well, how do you explain this?
299
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,875
-How do you explain this?
300
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,877
-Um, it's not mine.
I'm not pregnant.
301
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,412
-So nobody's pregnant?
302
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:11,482
-Somebody is pregnant,
according to the trash.
303
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,617
-Hold on.
304
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:15,019
You found a pregnancy test
in our trash can?
305
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,921
-Well, if it's not yours,
then...
306
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,089
[ Gasps ]
307
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,458
Oh, could it be Elena's?
308
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,996
Do you think she fell off
the wagon?
309
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,639
-No, she really loves
that wagon.
310
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,979
Which means it could only be...
311
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,416
-I think the only one --
-Alex, yes!
312
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,985
I know, Doc!
313
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,626
[ Doorbell rings ]
314
00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:56,160
-[ Breathes sharply ]
315
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,697
-Okay, let me guess.
316
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,734
The "kids" are in the car.
317
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,435
-No, no, no. Melba, hi.
318
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,771
Soy Penelope Alvarez,
le mama de Alex.
319
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,206
We've spoken on the phone
a couple times.
320
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:09,974
It's so nice to meet you
in person.
321
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:11,943
-Hi, Penelope.
Que gusto conocerte.
322
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:15,079
Este es mi esposo, Ramón.
323
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,248
-Hola, Ramón. Como estas?
324
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,283
This is my boyfriend.
325
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,018
-Me llamo es Max.
326
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:22,987
-No, don't do that right now.
327
00:15:22,989 --> 00:15:27,191
Hi! Que bonita tu casa.
328
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,727
Perdón, tengo que hablar con Alejandro.
329
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:30,762
Alex!
330
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:33,097
Get out here right now!
331
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,533
Ustedes son de Puerto Rico?
332
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,135
-Sí. Cómo sabías?
333
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,270
-Que me encanta ese acento.
334
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,872
-Ay, gracias.
335
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:42,273
-What are you doing here?
336
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:45,543
Why are you dressed
like an old biker dude?
337
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:46,978
-I am Sandy from "Grease."
338
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,646
You don't know who that is,
either.
339
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:49,847
Look.
340
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,150
We need to talk about this.
341
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:55,153
-And we would love to be part
of that conversation.
342
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,387
Norita!
343
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,822
[ Speaking Spanish ]
344
00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,457
She'll be out in a minute.
345
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,292
-Why are you showing me
a pregnancy test?
346
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,429
-Don't give me that crap,
you silver fox.
347
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:06,397
We found this at home.
-Sí, Mami?
348
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,968
-Norita, what were you doing
at Alex's house today?
349
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,235
-What? Nothing.
350
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:12,837
-Well, then somebody
explain this.
351
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:14,439
-It's not ours.
352
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:15,940
-Alex, we found it in the trash.
353
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,309
It's not mine, no Abuelita's,
not Elena's.
354
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,511
How is it not yours?
-Because it's not, all right?
355
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,813
What other explanation is there?
356
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,748
-It's impossible!
357
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,819
We haven't had sex, okay?
358
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,858
-Really?
359
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,760
Look at me.
360
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:40,298
No sex at all?
361
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,567
-Oh, my God! No sex.
362
00:16:42,569 --> 00:16:44,402
-Just over the shirt stuff!
363
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,173
You probably didn't need
that information.
364
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:52,043
-Can we all stop talking
about this now, please?
365
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:56,414
-Yeah. Ooh!
366
00:16:56,416 --> 00:17:00,918
What a memorable first meeting,
huh, Melba?
367
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,153
I'm glad we figured this out
368
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,889
without too much
embarrassment, right?
369
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,591
Mucho gusto.
370
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:07,825
-Sí.
371
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,127
-Sí, mucho Halloween!
372
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,228
-Hey!
373
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,797
-Sorry!
I took German in high school.
374
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:17,335
-I thought you were out
doing a political crusade.
375
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:20,104
-Oh, we tried, believe me,
but sometimes you dress up
376
00:17:20,106 --> 00:17:21,839
to discuss the coming
global disaster,
377
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,574
but people think
you're the Swiss Miss girl
378
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,543
and mashed potatoes.
379
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,912
But that's okay because
this is gonna give us
380
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:30,348
so much energy
to fight harder tomorrow!
381
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:35,720
Yeah.
-Who knew Halloween was fun?
382
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,256
-Literally everybody.
383
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:45,730
-Elena, is there any way
384
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:49,834
this positive pregnancy test
is yours?
385
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,305
-How many times do you
want me to come out?
386
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,612
You do know you need a man
for that, right?
387
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:05,783
-Excuse me, I think the
Virgin Mary would clap back.
388
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,458
-Alright, well,
I'm not pregnant.
389
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:16,160
-Oh! For a second,
they had me convinced.
390
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,463
I mean, you are a saint.
391
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,033
-Well, this has to belong
to someone.
392
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,302
It didn't just appear by magic.
393
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:30,775
-Oh, my God!
394
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,544
-Whoo!
-No!
395
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,745
Don't compliment us.
396
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:35,780
We came in second.
397
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,182
We lost to Elton John!
398
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:40,952
-Oh, who was dressed
like Elton John?
399
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:45,189
-No, we lost to Elton John,
400
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:47,959
who was dressed as Garfield
eating lasagna.
401
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,894
It was adorable!
402
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:58,402
-Where did you find that?
403
00:18:58,404 --> 00:19:00,104
-Is this yours?
404
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:10,915
-Congratulations!
405
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,083
-Lovely!
406
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:13,885
-Why are you congratulating her?
407
00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:16,053
I told you, we lost!
408
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,357
Hey.
409
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,092
Don't cry.
410
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:22,860
Hang in there.
411
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,767
-Okay.
412
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:33,004
Well, I didn't think
I'd be telling you like this.
413
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,438
That's why I put it
in their trash
414
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,542
because I wasn't sure
how you'd react.
415
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:40,144
Well, I mean, it's not like
we planned this.
416
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,949
-So what are you saying?
417
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,620
-I'm pregnant.
418
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:58,462
So, does this mean you're happy?
419
00:19:58,464 --> 00:19:59,597
-Yes!
420
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,365
Are you?
421
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,466
-Yeah.
422
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:04,936
[ Laughs ]
423
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:14,745
-This is so much better
than an iPad mini.
424
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:19,116
-Oh!
Congratulations, you two!
425
00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:22,687
-Oh, yes, and we are here
for you if you need us.
426
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:26,090
And you will.
427
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:27,758
-I'm gonna be a tío.
428
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,193
-I'm gonna be a tía.
429
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:32,396
-I'm gonna be a tí-x!
430
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,066
-Well, this calls
for a celebration.
431
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,634
Hey, Grandpa.
432
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:39,036
Will you take us all out
for ice cream?
433
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,006
Let's keep the hair.
434
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:44,441
It's silver,
but the jokes are gold.
32512
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