All language subtitles for Yadrctfvzbguhnijmok,pl.pmjihuzgbt

MOSFILM

MOSFILM cineconcern

KURIER Film Studio

Gagarinsky Commercial Bank

State Russian Committee
for Cinematography

present

A Karen SHAKHNAZAROV film

P O I S O N S

OR THE WORLD HISTORY OF POISONING

Starring

Ignat AKRACHKOV
Oleg BASILASHVILI

Ludmila KASATKINA
Zhanna DUDANOVA

Alexander BASHIROV

Olga TUMAIKINA
Andrei PANIN

That's Screw.

He had your father's watch.

He's yours. We don't want him.

Written by Alexander BORODYANSKY
Karen SHAKHNAZAROV

Directed by Karen SHAKHNAZAROV

The guy who was nabbed

in connection
with your parents' case

is Zvantsev's man.

Director of Photography
Vladimir KLIMOV

He's Screw's gummy.
Screw got lost.

Production Designer
Ludmila KUSAKOVA

Where'd you get that watch?

Music by Anatoly KROLL

Where'd you get that watch,
you scumbag?

Costumes by Svetlana TITOVA

Makeup by Ludmila RAUZHINA

- One dude gave it to me.
- What dude?

Film Editor - Lidya MILIOTI

Sound Director
Gulsara MUKATAYEVA

Executive Producer
Galina SHADUR

What dude?

Kostya the Hammer overdid it.

The order was just to punish.

He owed me.

He got the watch
and fixed the dude.

Whose order?

Zvantsev's lawyer.

- Who's there?
- No idea.

Zvantsev said it
in so many words.

- Who is it?
- Your neighbor.

- Hello.
- Hello.

I'm your new neighbor
from apartment 30.

Good to meet you.

- I'm Arnold.
- I'm Oleg.

Here's some minced meat.

I suggest your wife make us
some meat rolls

and we celebrate it.

Be my guest. Come on in.

Delicious.

The meat's good.
Where did you get it?

I am a fitter
at a meat processing factory.

And may I ask where you work?

I am an actor serving the stage.

Kate is a music teacher.

Great.

Here's to our meeting!

- Got some music?
- Sure.

- A tape recorder. Would you?
- Oh yes, just to cheer up.

May I ask you for a dance?

Sure.

I'd like to say a few words to you.

Shoot.

Let's go to the bathroom.

Kate!

Can I see Kate?

She is coming.

I've get to be going.

- See you.
- See you. Come again.

I will.

What were you doing
in the bathroom?

Talked. Arnold is an interesting
person.

What where you doing
in the bathroom?

What do you think you are doing?

Why those dirty thoughts?
You are drunk.

Kate!

I am sorry.

O, it's tough to have
an unfaithful wife.

She would defile your nuptial bed.

She'd cheat you out of your money.

She'd bring dishonor
to your good name.

And even worse.

you are not just disgraced,
your defiler

will stick an offensive name
upon you.

Ah, those nicknames and monikers!

They dwarf the names of devils -

Satan, Beelzebud, Lucifer.

Barbazone. Sounds beautiful...

But a cuckold!

The Devil himself wouldn't be
given that name.

I'd rather trust

a Fleming with a butter pot,

a Welsh priest
with a chuck of cheese,

an Irishman with whiskey,
and a rustler with a horse

than I'd trust my wife
with my honor.

Your line.

Well...

Well, dear neighbors...

What's done can't be undone.

What's done can't be undone.

With gold we do buy land,

fate sells us

wives.

Enough.

Kate!

Open up!

Open up right now!

What is it, Oleg?

Where's Kate?

Oleg, what's wrong with you?

Why these cries from the heart
and boorishness?

BAR
Chinese flyer Jiao Ta.

Is this seat vacant?

Yes, you are welcome.

Cheers.

Judging by your long face
you are in trouble.

Right.

My wife is unfaithful to me.

A woman's unfaithfulness
is always

a blow to a man's ego.

This happened to me twice.

In 1949 my first wife -

she was an operetta actress -

was on a tour in Sochi

and took up

with Hero of Socialist Labor,
coal mine superintendent

Stepanov Nikolai.

She went to Vorkuta with him.

Glory to the miners
of the Polar North!

In 1965,

I came back from a business trip

and caught my second wife,

Zinaida,

with the head of our Ministry
finance division, Krasovsky.

Did you suffer?

Sure, I did.

Well, it was a long time ago.

What did you do then?

The first time I got a divorce

and married Zinaida.

And the second?

I killed her.

You what?

Poisoned.

She loved kefir.

She took kefir every morning
and every night.

I couldn't stand it.

Anyway, I added some cicuta

to her kefir.

Cicuta is seldom
to come by today.

Ancient Greek philosopher
Socrates took it

after the Athens court

sentenced him to death
for anti-state propaganda

and impiety.

His friends tried to persuade him

to leave the country
or appeal for pardon

but Socrates did neither.

He was kept in suspense
for thirty days

waiting for the sacred boat

to sail back from Delos island

where sacrifices were
to be offered

to Apollo on the occasion
of his birthday.

The law forbade desecrating
the city

until the sacred boat was back.

On the day the boat showed
on the horizon

a priest brought him
the poison cup

and the philosopher took it.

That was two and a half thousand
years ago.

My friend, take my advice

and kill her. Just give her poison.

Trust me,
this is the only right decision

in your case.

Hi.

You look awful.
Didn't get enough sleep?

Arnold!

I beg you...

- Don't come here.
- I beg your pardon?

Can't you see?
Your relations with Kate

are not quite proper.

What about them?
What are you talking about?

I strongly insist

that you quit coming here.

What's wrong?

I came by and he says
not to come here anymore.

What?

Oleg, how can you
be so mean?

Go on apologize.

It's OK with me
if I never come here.

I just wanted to borrow
some salt

and he pounced on me
with his 'don't come'.

I am sorry, Arnold.
Now go to your place,

I'll come to you right now.

"Forgive me forever."

This is aconite.
It paralyzes nerve-knots.

I love this poison.
It causes instant death.

Caligula poisoned Tiberius with it.

This is asclepite.

It can drive a person to ecstasy

and euphoria.

Personally, I find it overly cruel.

First you give the person
a bliss, then you kill him.

Ancient Aryans deified this poison.

They called it the Drink
of Immortality.

Finally, the famous contarella.

The Pope of Rome

Alexander VI Borgia got its formula
from his aristocratic mother

in the 16th century.

A person thus poisoned

dies an agonizing death.

Pope Alexander VI liked
to poison his cardinals with it.

How come you have them?

I make them and always
carry them with me.

Just in case.

No, I can't.

I wouldn't poison Kate.

You think it was easy for me
to give her the poisoned kefir?

But I pictured her panting

when she was making love
to that bastard --

and my hand didn't falter.

Pussy, I want my kefir.

In a minute.

Here you are.

- Thank you, pussy.
- You are welcome.

For some fleeting moment
I felt pity for her

and was tempted to give her
counterpoison,

a crow's toe with egg powder.

But then I pictured her
in Krasnovsky's arms again

and my pity vanished.

Now you visualize your wife

in the bathroom

wriggling voluptuously

in your neighbor's
iron embraces.

Maybe she wants
to break free but no way.

His fingers of steel are clasping
her tender, rose buttocks.

Isn't it enough for you to be
seized with a righteous anger?

Isn't it enough for you

to inflict a condign punishment?

- I am ready.
- Fine.

Let's see what kind of poison
you'll use.

Do you want your wife
to depart this world

in agonizing torment,

and writhing in convulsions
and being covered in sores

or easily and painlessly?

Easily and painlessly I guess.

A generous decision.

In that case it's going to be
asclepite.

Let's discuss how you
go about it

so you won't be suspected

by law-enforcement agencies.

How?

I'd recommend the method

Persian Queen Parisatida

used in the IV century B.C.

when she poisoned
her sister-in-law Statira.

It was the time when
in the valleys of great rivers

powerful states rose and fell.

The Persian King Xerxes,

after having conquered the Hetts,

founded a great empire.

One of Xerxes' wives,

Parisatida, attempted
to enthrone her son.

She seduced
the chief of the King's guard

and urged him to kill the King.

Parisatida doted on her son.

She would do anything for him.

Now that he was made a king
she was happy.

When Artaxerxes got married,

Parisatida grew jealous

of his young wife Statira

whom Artaxerxes loved very much.

She decided to poison
her daughter-in-law.

Being mutually suspicious,
the two women

ate the same food

from one dish and one plate.

One day Parisatida cut the game
that was served for dinner

with a knife

that was powdered with poison
on one side.

Statira died in agony

but before that she managed
to tell Artaxerxes

that his mother
had poisoned her.

Artaxerxes ordered his mother's
servants executed

but didn't do anything to her.

He just exiled her to Babylon

and she had never seen
her son again.

I want a chicken, please.

- Big or small?
- Big.

Are you home?

The rehearsal was canceled.

Oh, what an inviting smell!

- Roasted chicken.
- What's the big idea?

Don't you like chicken?

With peas.

I love it.

Now sit down to table,
I'll serve it.

What a pleasant surprise.

Bon appetit!

Who is it?

No idea.

Hi, Mom!

I've brought you some potatoes.

Hi, precious.

- Hello, sweetie.
- That's a nice hat.

Am I glad to see you.

Hello, son-in-law.

Good day to you,
Evgenia Ivanovna.

Help yourself, Mom.

- Don't touch it.
- What?

Come on, take it, Mom,
that's my piece.

Don't touch it!

What's it about?
How dare you?

Grudging chicken to his own
mother-in-law.

I don't. Have mine.

Why yours when I have
a daughter?

Eat, Mom.

What's going on? The cheek!

For shame! Oh God, how could
I live with this monster!

Son of a bitch!
That's the limit.

I quit.

I owe you nothing
after what you did.

Poor dear.

- D'you take everything?
- Except the TV set.

So she was about to swallow
that piece and you pulled it

out of her mouth and threw out
the window.

The same funny thing happened

to Pope Alexander VI.

He meant to poison his friend,

Cardinal Adriano di Carnetto,

but drank the poison cup himself
by mistake.

No thanks.

Five days later the Pope

died an agonizing death.

So you are fond of your
mother-in-law?

Not really.

Then why didn't you let her
eat that chicken?

The idea was to poison Kate,

not Evgenia Ivanovna.

Being merciful doesn't pay,
my friend.

The trio will grab
your flat now.

What am I to do?

Poison all three of them.

- All three?
- Don't make round eyes.

Nero, incidentally, poisoned
half the Senate.

That famous Neapolitan poisoness
Tofana

in the 17th century killed more
than 600 persons that way.

So I see no reason for rounding
your eyes

because of an old hag, a fitter
and an unfaithful wife.

When all's said and done,

you can first poison the fitter,

then we'll see.

Your wife might have second thoughts
and your family'll be reunited.

- Are you sorry for the fitter?
- Frankly...

I'm not a bit sorry for him,

but I'm not to poison anyone else!

Oleg, where's the coffee grinder?

They said to take the teapot too.

The mother. Does she usually
stay for long?

Can be half a year.

Wow!

What was wrong with
the chicken then?

Why didn't you let her have it?

Now what do we have here?

You have a two-room apartment

and I live in a bedsit with
your wife and her dear mom.

That's not fair.

- Let's swop.
- What do you mean?

You'll have to split it anyway.

Why should I?

My mother bought it

when I got married.

She worked hard in three places
scraping up

to buy this flat.

So I've got to provide
for your wife

and for her mother to boot

and you'll be
happy-go-lucky here?

No way!

It's either we swop

or you can have them both back
and go to hell.

- Get outa here, you bastard.
- What?

I said get outa here,
you piece of shit!

And give that coffee grinder and
teapot back! You're getting nothing.

Oh yeah? We'll see who's going
to laugh the last.

You'll be sorry for this.

And don't brandish

your fist here.

And never set foot in my flat!

Tomorrow you'll take off from your
apartment like a shot from the gun.

You will!

I'll leave you to rot.

- What's going on?
- He won't give me anything.

Neither the coffee grinder,
nor the teapot, and yells to boot.

I'll call the police and they
will hold you inside for 15 days.

How dare you?

Give me my things, now.

- It's my coffee grinder.
- Since when?

Since my mother gave it to me.

You don't have any conscience.

Cut the conscience talk.
That's your problem.

Your mother never gave us
anything.

Maybe an iron for our wedding
but it was broken.

And this coffee grinder.
I bought it with my own money.

- Hard earned money.
- Aren't you a S.O.B.?

Your money!
It can't even buy a panty.

You are a terrible man.

I'm going to sue you for
division of the flat and property.

You'll never ever bring
floozies here.

I didn't expect it from you, Oleg.

I didn't.

Hello.

Do you often use
the pros' services?

The pros' services?
Don't listen to her.

I can't afford them,
with my earnings.

They've become
quite affordable after the crisis.

Especially uptown.

Wait a minute.

How did you get in here?

Me? I was passing by
and just dropped in.

May I come in?

Yes, of course.

Is the lady on the staircase
your wife?

- Yes.
- And that guy

is the fitter-cum-lover?

That's him.

I'm surprised you are hesitating
to poison them.

One glance at them is enough
to realize

this duo will lay their hands

on your flat without qualms.

Not only has your wife
got herself a lover,

she is set on kicking you outa
your own home, with that lover.

Having less potent grounds,

King of England Henry VIII

decapitated two of his six wives.

French Marshal Giles de Rais
nicknamed the Blue Beard,

dismembered 12 wives
and mistresses.

Even Ivan the Terrible,

who was more tolerant,
drowned one wife

and banished six others
to a monastery.

- You...
- What?

Just imagine

that in this flat of yours

on this bed

they will be copulating -

and having a good laugh at you.

Shamelessly

and impudently.

While you, like a stray dog,

will lie in the gutter

in the rain.

What a storm!

God forbid being out
in the street now.

Is he over there?

Sure. Where else.

Go see what he's doing.

I bet he's lying in the gutter

soaked to the skin.

- Doesn't he have an umbrella?
- I don't think so.

We've legally seized
all his property.

I am ready.

Give her a pair of gloves.

The Queen of France Catherine Medici
did that in the 16th century.

The power-hungry Queen presented
Jeanne d'Albrais,

the Queen of Navarra,
with poison-soaked gloves.

Poor Jeanne wore them at a ball.
Poisonous fumes got into her brain

and she departed this beautiful,
if vicious, world.

What fireworks!

What fireworks!

What a treat!

What wines, what victuals!

What women!

Beauties! Come on, my friend.

- Don't touch it.
- Why not?

No hurry. Let's see
what will happen.

What's the matter with her?

The red wine is poisoned,
meaning vodka is not.

Vodka?

- D'you see what he had?
- Jellied fish.

Don't eat fish.
Eat black caviar.

Right. Thank you.

Gentlemen,

it is a privilige to see
so many celebrated persons

at my birthday party.

Thank you.

You look very much
like this gentleman.

Many people say it
but it is a pure coincidence.

- No relations.
- Who is he?

Pope Alexander VI Borgia.

- How did he get here?
- I don't know.

He might come
by car or by train

for all I know.

- Didn't he live in the 16th century?
- Next to him is his son Cesare.

To his left is his daughter
Lucrezia.

Both her Dad and her sib
sleep with her.

- And who are you, may I ask.
- I am Cardinal di Carnetto.

- And you are?
- Prokhorov Ivan Petrovich.

And this is my friend Oleg.
He is an actor.

- A stage actor.
- Hello.

- I've never seen him around here.
- It's his first time.

He poisoned his wife, mother-in-law
and fitter Sharapov.

Many thanks.

Ladies and gentlemen!

What rules this world?

Passions.

What human passions are
most powerful and beautiful?

Covetousness, envy,
jealousy and power lust.

Who wouldn't want to roll up
his posh Jaguar

to the Sheraton-Hawaii hotel
crunching 100-dollar bills?

Who wouldn't want to bake

in the sun with a glamorous mulatto
on the Acapulco beach?

Who hasn't seen himself,
even for a minute,

the master of
the White House,

the Buckingham Palace
or the Kremlin?

Who wouldn't feel
a burning hatred for a friend

who got an inheritance?

Who wouldn't be enraged
seeing that his wife

couldn't tear her eyes off
some cute youth?

Gentlemen, poison every one of those

who stand in your way to
power, wealth and glory.

Poison your fathers, mothers,
brothers, sisters,

friends, enemies and rivals.

Poison the loved and hated ones.

Poison the righteous,
whores and villains.

Saints too.

And you will obtain immortality.

For immortal

is just one divine beverage.

It is called poison.

Waltz!

Madame, your perfume is terrific.

You like it? It's Bianca.

The Florentine formula.

And these gloves are a gift
from the Queen of France,

Catherine Medici.

Who are you?

I am Jeanne d'Albrais,
the Queen of Navarra.

What's happened?

My wife's back from the dacha.

For shame!

This bad woman called me
a whore

and hit my mother -
and you didn't say a word.

What can I do? Beat her up?

She is a master of sports
in boat-racing. She is strong.

I can give her a bloody mug too.

So she couldn't leave the house.

Now wait a minute. Are you going
to live here?

We can't help it.
She wouldn't let us in.

Forget it. I don't want
to share my flat with you.

You don't want us to live
on the street, do you?

You can lodge with
Evgenia Ivanovna in Khimki.

Your wife's been insulted
and disgraced and you?

Instead of showing
this slut her place

you are wrangling over the flat.

You are forcing your own wife and
mother-in-law out into the street.

I said for you to go
to Evgenia Ivanovna's place.

Buster! It's your cherished
dream to get rid of me

and turn our home into a brothel.
Never!

Frankly, Oleg,

it's you who should go to Khimki.

Forget Khimki. That's my home.

Where would he go?

He can go to his bints. You have
never been faithful to me.

- You are a sex maniac.
- Shut up, you fool.

Shut up everybody,

you shameless creatures.

Who is it?

Hi. My name is Zoya.

I am the wife
of your neighbor Arnold.

Come on in.

Zoya!

My gems are gone.

So?

Give them back if you don't
want me to search you.

And it will turn out badly
for the thief.

What exactly is missing?

Granate earrings, a golden
pendent and a silver chain.

I count till three.

I didn't take them.

Your face looks familiar.

Are you actor Oleg Volkov?

Yes. That's me.

I was crazy about you.

I went to all your plays.
You were in the Gogol theater.

Right. Not anymore.

I even wrote you a letter.

You probably didn't read it.

An ordinary girl wrote a letter
to a well-known actor.

Why, I did.

I remember your letter.

I do.

When night descends onto
the city, I am thinking of you.

When I am in Morpheus' arms,

I am whispering: "Come to me."

- Filimonova Zoya.
- That's my letter.

Well, well.

And what are you doing here, Oleg?

I live here.

This is my ex-wife,

this is my ex-mother-in-law
and this is...

This is my ex-husband.

Come with me, I'll treat you to tea.

Right.

Did you ever want to kill
your wife?

Why do you ask?

You see,

sometimes I wanted to kill
my husband.

- Jealousy?
- Oh no.

No.

One day he was sitting
where you are sitting now.

He was having tea and I was
eating meat pancakes.

Suddenly I thought: I want
to thrust my fork into his eye.

I was dying to do that so much

so I had to go to the kitchen.

Another time he was smoking
on the balcony in his trunks.

I was looking at his back
and picturing myself

to run up to him,

take him by the feet
and throw him out.

You hate him that much?

Not at all.

I like him.

Still, lying in bed I often
think like this.

Here is a dead man.

As soon as I turn over to him
I'll see his glazed eyes.

I remember when I first saw you.

You were Evdokimov
in "104 Pages about Love".

I was.

I liked you in this role,

especially in the finale

when Evdokimov learns
that his girlfriend,

air hostess Natasha,
died trying to pull children

out of the flaming jet.

You just stood there

looking into the hall.

Guess who you could play.

Cesare Borgia.

Cesare?

- The son of Pope Alexander VI?
- Yeah.

He was an outstanding
son of a bitch.

He slept with his half-sister.

When he learned she was also
sleeping

with his half-brother,
he killed the guy.

He got any woman he fancied.

Whenever he had enough of them,
he'd kill and throwthem into a Tiber.

When he seized Capua

he slaughtered seven thousand
people.

Three hundred noble women locked
themselves in a tower.

Cesare broke down the door

and picked forty most
beautiful women.

He gave the others
to his soldiers.

Once Cesare and his father
decided to poison

three Cardinals to get hold
of their money.

Alexander VI asked them
to dinner in a garden

not far from the Vatican.

Cesare gave two bottles
of poisoned wine

to his servant.

I make a signal --

and you give the wine to whoever
I point to.

I'll carry them myself.

See that you don't
make a mistake.

Well, let's have dinner.

Cesare, I left my medallion.

So what?

You know that my astrologist
Rimolino said

neither iron, nor poison
can harm me

as long as I wear that medallion
with holy gifts.

Carnetto,

will you run to
the palace and fetch my medallion.

You know the table
in my bedroom?

There's the Scriptures book
on it. The medallion is there.

Jiovanni,

get me a glass of wine.

For me too.

His Grace wants two glasses
of wine.

What are you doing, fool?
I said this bottle.

God bless me!

God bless me!

Alexander VI died 5 days later.

His body was so bloated
and stinking

that nobody dared kiss his hand

in defiance of the custom.

Cesare was struggling for life
tooth and nail.

He did not want to leave
this world

full of pleasures and delights.

In order to detoxify
his organism

he was taking bull's
blood baths.

Whether thanks to those baths,

or to his strong constitution

Cesare had pulled through.

What makes you think
I could enact Cesare?

I don't know.

Maybe because I am partial
to you.

- Oh, cheese pancake.
- Have some.

- I know they are good.
- You like them?

My mother

always gave me cheese pancakes
for breakfast.

I am going to make them
for your breakfasts.

Who is it?

No idea.

Hey. What can I do for you?

Hey. I am Prokhorov,

Oleg Volkov's friend.
Can I see him?

Sure. Oleg, your friend
wants to see you

- So that's where you are.
- Hello.

I called on your place

and your mother-in-law said
you don't live there anymore.

That's right. I left my place.

Please meet Zoya.
Zoya, this is Ivan Petrovich.

- Gee, cheese pancakes.
- Would you like some?

- I'd love to, mon chere.
- Will you go on

into the room.

- Are you crazy, Oleg?
- Why?

You are not yet through
with your first wife.

You can't live by instincts.
You are not an animal after all.

I love Zoya. And she fell
in love with me years ago.

When she saw me on the stage.

Well, friends, you are full
of surprises.

Now to the point.
You got the gloves?

- No.
- Good.

I've got a new plan.

You'll get rid of your wife
and her mother and lover.

Then with a clear conscience

you could build a new family.

I appreciate it really

but that won't be necessary.

You mean you are willing to leave
your mother's flat to those rogues?

Let them go. I'll stay here
with Zoya.

The pancakes are served!

How sweet the wife
before marriage!

Thanks, honey, but I've got to go.

And the cheese pancakes?

Next time better luck,
mon chere.

- See you.
- See you SOON.

Who is he?

An acquaintance.

What does he do?

He is a pensioner.

Look...

Why don't you bring your things
here?

We'll be together from now on.

Forever.

The court'll give this flat to him
since you are not registered here.

We can move into yours.

And they'll live in this flat.

- I'm not registered there.
- You aren't?

- Where ARE you registered?
- At my Dad's in Odintsovo.

With my brother and his family.

You're a fine fellow indeed.
Why didn't you tell me?

Why?

You didn't ask.

So there's only Khimki left.

Forget Khimki.

We're in shit up to the ears

and Oleg has it all.

He and Zoya will live here and
rent that flat for 300 bucks.

What are we going to do?

- Poison them.
- Poison Oleg?

- Both of them.
- Right.

I don't see any other option.

We'll ask them to have meat rolls

and sprinkle them
with rat poison.

The things you are saying!

Where would we get poison?

I am sure Albert has it.

Yes, sure.

What about your things, Oleg?

- What's wrong?
- Vile creatures!

What are you trying to say?

- Vile creatures!
- What's wrong?

They are plotting to poison us.

Who? What creatures?

Kate, Arnold
and Evgenia Ivanovna.

- No!
- I heard it with my own ears.

They want to poison us
and get our apartment.

They do? How mean.

I'll go there and beat
the hell out of them.

Hold it.

Hold it.

We've got to do away
with that bunch

once and for all.

They are coming.

Let's pretend we know nothing.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Come on in.

- Thanks.
- We won't stay long.

Why not?

You don't come often.

- Let me make some tea.
- Don't bother.

- Albert...
- Arnold.

We want to ask you to dinner.

- Ask us to dinner?
- Yes.

We'll sit and drink
like good neighbors.

Why bear a grudge
against each other?

- We don't bear a grudge against you.
- Neither us.

- We want to be friends.
- Us too.

So you want us to come?

Right.

We'll eat and drink.

With pleasure.

Does Sunday suit you?

Sure.

That's it for now.

- See you.
- See you.

Hypocrites! I could hardly
restrain myself

from punching them.

Relax.

The cat chasing a mouse

will get into the mouse-trap.

Actor Oleg Volkov?

- That's him.
- Yes.

Pope Alexander VI would like
to see you.

- I am honored.
- Follow me please.

This way.

- Wait!
- Let go of me.

Are you actor Oleg Volkov?

Yes.

Did you plan to poison

yourwife, her lover
fitter Sharapov

and your mother-in-law...

Evgenia Ivanovna Kholodkova.

Right, Mrs Kholodkova.

- I did.
- Excellent.

May I ask you to dinner?

My pleasure.

- Who are you?
- Prokhorov Ivan Petrovich.

In the past I worked for
the Heavy Machine Building Ministry.

I am on pension now.

Bingo! He poisoned
his second wife.

With cicuta.

- You remember the story?
- And?

Your Excellency, I am kind of
Mr Volkov's tutor,

sort of his spiritual teacher.

Alright. Damn you, let him go.

Let me make introductions.

This is the celebrated
Roman Emperor

of the Claudius' dynasty,
Gaius Caligula.

He knows all about poisons.
He tested them on his slaves.

Among others, he poisoned
his stepfather Emperor Tiberius.

This is one more outstanding
emperor, Nero,

and his accomplice
poisoner Lacusta.

Tha Persian Queen Parisatida.

Queen Catherine Medici of France.

Marquise Marie Madelaine
de Brenvillier.

She poisoned her father.

Also she visited hospitals

and tested her poisons
on patients.

Doctor Edma Corsta.

He poisoned all of his brothers

hoping to grab their fortunes.

Man, what a beauty!

Crimean ruler
Khan Mengli Guirei,

he personifies Oriental perfidy.

This is American schoolboy
Bill Holmes.

His granny gave him
a Christmas gift,

a Young Chemist kit.

Within two years the smart kid

poisoned his parents,

granny, sister, Uncle John

and PT instructor.

Okay, go have dinner.
Interestingly,

he made all poisons himself.

My daughter Lucrezia.

Lucrezia!

She cohabits with me and my son

and her brother Cesare.

Oh you haven't met my son Cesare.

- I've heard a lot about you.
- Sit next to me.

Gentlemen, it's time for dinner.

Take pot luck with us.

Take your seats everybody.

Gentlemen!

I raise the first glass
for our guest.

Mr Volkov is scheming to poison
his wife,

her lover fitter Sharapov
and his mother-in-law.

er...

Kholodkova Evgenia Ivanovna.

Oh yes, Mrs Kholodkova.

Let's wish him luck.

- Good luck!
- Thank you.

What was it that prompted
your decision?

- Jealousy?
- Yes, jealousy.

His wife and the fitter shut
themselves in the bathroom.

In the end she left him
for the fitter.

To cap it all,
she is claiming my flat.

What? How come?

My mother bought it
with her own money.

Kate is registered in Evgenia
Ivanovna's apartment.

So when Evgenia Ivanovna dies,

the apartment would be hers.

Let them go to Khimki.

That's what I said:

"Go to Khimki." They won't.

Damned cheek!

My father attempted to take
our family castle away from me.

He failed.

How do you intend to poison
those people?

What's your plan, so to say.

The New Year is coming.

Who the hell is it?

Could be my brother Nikolai.

Happy New Year!

- Is this Volkov's flat?
- No, this is our flat.

Actor Volkov
doesn't live here anymore.

That's okay. Take a present
from Moscow's City Hall.

- How about a drink?
- Thanks, we've got 6 more addresses.

Okay. Now the fir-tree
will thaw out

and poisonous fumes will reach
their brain

and central nervous system.

I adore you!

That's a great plan.

And what kind of poison
are you going to use?

I can recommend
the Bianca perfume.

Ivan Petrovich is for cantarella.

It's a good poison.

It causes the eyes to burst
and the hair to fall out,

with the person's body
covering with festering sores.

Good substance.

Are you afraid of death?

Of death?

I guess so.

Everybody is afraid of death.

On the night when the Senate
proclaimed me an enemy of the people

I decided to take my life
by poisoning myself.

But I was afraid to die and
couldn't bring myself to do it.

I asked my slave to thrust
a sword in my throat.

I felt nothing.

The plotters approached me
from behind

and chopped my head off.

Then they killed my children.

I was dying hard.

I don't want to speak about it.

And how did you die, Cesare?

I died four years after you.

Fortune turned her back on me
after you died.

My enemies who once shuddered

at the mere mention of my name

began to chase me
like an animal.

Friends...

I never had friends.

March 10, 1507, I got
into an ambush.

You could have saved.
You had a fine horse

and you were one of the best
horsemen in Europe.

The people I met on my life-path

experienced a variety
of feelings for me -

admiration, fear, hatred, envy.

But not one of them ever loved me.

I got tired of life

and was seeking death.

In 1492,

when Columbus was sailing
toward American shores,

young Cesare Borgia
was heading to Rome

summoned by his father

who was elected Supreme Pontiff
of the Roman Catholic Church.

Within half an hour's
ride from Rome

he came upon a beautiful valley
and dismounted.

He knew that awaiting him
ahead were battles and glory,

love and treachery,
murder and wealth,

i.e. the life he had
always craved.

But at that moment a thought
pierced though him.

He wished he could stop and live

in that blessed valley
till the end of his days.

This film is based on real facts.

These developments unfolded
in 2000 in Moscow.

Oleg Volkov divorced Kate

and married Zoya.

Kate married Arnold.

Both couples are quite happy

and even visit each other
occasionally.

Evgenia Ivanovna died
of a heart attack.

Prokhorov exchanged
his Moscow flat

for an apartment in Yalta, Crimea.

He was granted
Ukrainian citizenship.

Oleg is still treading the stage -
and not without success.

One young and promising director

staging a production
on the Borgia family

has taken Oleg on as Cesare.

CAST

Oleg - Ignat AKRACHKOV

Prokhorov and Alexander VI Borgia
Oleg BASILASHVILI

Kate - Zhanna DUDANOVA

Arnold - Alexander BASHIROV

Zoya - Olga TUMAIKINA

Evgenia Ivanovna
Ludmila KASATKINA

Cesare Borgia - Andrei PANIN

Scriptwriters
Alexander BORODYANSKY
Karen SHAKHNAZAROV

Directed by Karen SHAKHNAZAROV

Director of Photography
Vladimir KLIMOV

Production Designer
Ludmila KUSAKOVA

Music by Anatoly KROLL

Executive Producer
Galina SHADUR

Costumes by Svetlana TITOVA

Makeup Artists
Ludmila RAUZHINA, Elmira ZOTOVA

Film Editor - Lidya MILIOTI

Sound Supervisor
Gulsara MUKATAYEVA