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1
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:50,172
Egbert Souse?
2
00:01:50,243 --> 00:01:54,202
- Isn't that an odd name?
- It isn't pronounced Souse.
3
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,148
Accent grave over the "E."
Egbert "Sou-say. "
4
00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,778
Oh, I see.
5
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:08,323
What's he up to now?
What is he up to?
6
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:11,522
Your guess is as good as mine, Ma.
I never know what to expect next.
7
00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:14,863
I bet you anything he's smoking
up in his room again.
8
00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:18,426
This time, Agatha,
you've got to just tell him to stop.
9
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:21,065
- His smokin' gave me asthma.
- Oh, Ma.
10
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:25,475
- If you don't, I'm going on the County.
- Ma!
11
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:28,708
Imagine a man trying
to take care of his family...
12
00:02:28,781 --> 00:02:33,377
by going to theater bank nights, working
puzzle contests and suggesting slogans.
13
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:36,013
Telephone's ringing.
14
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:38,990
Don't answer it, Elsie Mae. It's probably
the Lacavas wantin' their lawn mower back.
15
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,992
We're not
finished with it yet.
16
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:45,360
- Hello, daughter.
- Hello.
17
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:47,262
- Hello, Myrtle.
- Hello.
18
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,301
- Hello.
- Hello.
19
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:54,500
Agatha, this time you've got
to tell him. I just can't stand it.
20
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,805
It's just a lingering death.
21
00:02:57,877 --> 00:03:00,778
If you don't,
I will go on the County!
22
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:06,014
What's eatin' you?
23
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:09,748
My Sunday School teacher,
Mr. Stackhouse,
24
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:15,260
told me that he saw my father coming out
of a saloon the other day!
25
00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:19,856
And that Dad
was smoking a pipe!
26
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,160
Oh, I'll kill myself!
27
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:27,172
What's the matter with her?
28
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,572
I'll starve myself to death.
29
00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:31,701
It's the easiest way out.
30
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,713
It's not so difficult to do.
31
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:37,215
I tried it yesterday afternoon.
32
00:03:40,186 --> 00:03:43,178
That must be Og.
Will you excuse me?
33
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,955
- Nice potatoes.
- Thank you.
34
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:50,188
Why don't we get
any more crumpets?
35
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:53,824
Smoking and drinking.
36
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,131
And reading those
infernal detective stories.
37
00:03:57,203 --> 00:04:00,195
House just smells
of liquor and smoke.
38
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:05,643
There he goes again to the saloon
to read that silly detective magazine.
39
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:09,546
Mother's right.
You've been smoking again in your room.
40
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:27,565
Imagine a man who takes money out of
a child's piggy bank, puts in I.O.U.s.
41
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:34,237
Don't you dare strike that child!
You put that down!
42
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:37,333
Og, I'd like you to meet
my father.
43
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,640
Father, this is Og Oggilby.
44
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:42,943
Og Oggilby.
45
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:46,713
Sounds like a bubble in a bathtub.
46
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:50,244
- I'm glad to have met ya.
- Mighty glad to have met you.
47
00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:53,518
Your father seems awfully nice.
48
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:56,528
Yes... we think so.
49
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,801
What seems to be
the trouble?
50
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:16,103
Are you carrying the proper amount
of air in the tires?
51
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:20,278
Had the brakes tested lately?
52
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:27,317
'Course it may be the wheelbase.
53
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:35,062
- The tools.
- Why don't you go away and mind your own business?
54
00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:37,625
Listen to the gentleman
attentively, James.
55
00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:41,470
- Be polite!
- Thank you, madam.
56
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:44,169
Gimme the shift expander.
I'll fix it.
57
00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:46,177
- A what?
- Monkey wrench.
58
00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:50,238
Give the gentleman
what he asks for, James.
59
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,614
Ow!
60
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:03,094
Here's all you gotta do.
Just open up this nut here.
61
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:20,672
I was down to Cape Cod
most of that year.
62
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:25,207
Say, you oughta Vaseline this place
in here or move the post over.
63
00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:30,586
I have half interest in
a cod liver oil mine down in Cape Cod.
64
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:32,988
Snowed all winter.
65
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:37,359
We did a lot of boondoggling.
You ever boondoggle, Joe?
66
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:40,797
No, I can't say that I have.
67
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:46,499
These cloves are pretty dry.
Better sprinkle 'em with alcohol.
68
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,504
How you do?
69
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:57,743
- Meet you at the Elks Club several weeks ago?
- No.
70
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,785
Never did, eh?
71
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:03,219
- Ever do any boondoggling?
- No. Gimme a beer.
72
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:06,850
Never have, eh?
Mine's a poultice.
73
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,985
Never done boondoggling.
74
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:11,552
Must've been another fella,
I guess.
75
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:17,866
Take off your hat
in the presence of a gentleman.
76
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,737
Well, here she goes.
77
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:23,867
Down the hatch.
78
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,695
I tell you, he's drunk, Q. Q.
79
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,958
Said he had trouble
with his wife.
80
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:50,833
Yes. We have tried.
But he isn't sober.
81
00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:53,064
The best I can.
82
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,630
But you don't understand, Q. Q.
83
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:59,935
Hello?
84
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:03,081
"The best I can. "
85
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,516
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
86
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,987
What can you give me for
shattered nerves? I got the jitters.
87
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:14,755
If the gentleman has butterflies in
his stomach, I suggest a dash of rover.
88
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:19,196
- Rover?
- Dog. Absinthe.
89
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:21,563
It's very good for the nerves.
90
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,594
- That's fine.
- Thank you.
91
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:27,605
That's just what I needed.
92
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,243
My name's Greene.
Mackley Q Greene.
93
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:35,405
And a man more beset by trouble,
you'll never see. Again.
94
00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,472
I'm here in Lompoc
on a movie location.
95
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:40,678
My director started on a bender last
night, and that's good for ten days.
96
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:43,449
We got a 36-hour schedule
and a stinko script.
97
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:48,085
It's a one-reeler, and it opens in
this very town the day after tomorrow.
98
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,129
You're yelling
right down my alley.
99
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:54,963
In the old Sennett days,
I used to direct Fatty Arbuckle,
100
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:58,868
Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton
and the rest of 'em.
101
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:02,601
I can't get the Celluloid
outta my blood.
102
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:05,940
Nights, I used to tend bar.
103
00:09:06,012 --> 00:09:09,607
Would you entertain a proposition
to direct this picture?
104
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:12,810
Take a gambler's chance
on a percentage of the profits?
105
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:17,185
Um, um, yes, just a moment.
106
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:21,386
Was I in here last night,
and did I spend a $20 bill?
107
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,758
Yeah.
108
00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:28,323
Oh, boy! What a load
that is off my mind.
109
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,335
I thought I'd lost it.
110
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,065
Here you are.
Keep the change.
111
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:36,734
I've got a script I've had
in mothballs for 20 years.
112
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:42,441
I read it to Irving and Milton
who run the cinema here.
113
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:48,112
They said to me, "Sous�, it's
better than 'Gone With the Wind'."
114
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:52,146
- My car's outside. Let's get down on the set.
- Okay.
115
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:56,651
I'll bring the glasses back later.
116
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:07,101
Take a note, please.
117
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:10,574
Oh, Mr. Clam,
it's good for you.
118
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:16,240
- Mr. Greene, he's tight as a snare drum.
- We won't bother with him.
119
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:20,274
- Mr. Sous� will take over the direction.
- Fine. Glad to meet ya.
120
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:23,550
Glad to know you.
Must've been a gnat.
121
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,917
Here comes Francois
and Miss Plupp.
122
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:39,763
Oh, yeah.
123
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:43,741
Hi. This is Miss Plupp,
I take it.
124
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,436
Oh.
125
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:47,445
And you are Francois?
126
00:10:47,513 --> 00:10:50,038
This is Mr. Sous�. He's taking over
the direction of the picture.
127
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,607
Did you sleep well
last night?
128
00:10:52,685 --> 00:10:54,846
Oh, I...
129
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,480
Maybe un peu?
130
00:10:57,556 --> 00:10:59,251
Comme ci, comme ca.
131
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:04,388
I don't know whether this part is suited
to my personality or not.
132
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:07,830
Don't give it a thought.
I changed everything.
133
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:11,734
Instead of it being
an English drawing room drama,
134
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,795
I've made it
a circus picture.
135
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,569
Don't just sit there!
Take down everything he says.
136
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,803
- Good morning, Mr. Greene.
- Aaah!
137
00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:21,847
It's Saturday afternoon.
138
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:24,712
You make touchdown
after touchdown.
139
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:28,049
You kick goals.
You make passes.
140
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:33,148
You make the longest run with the ball
that was ever made on the field.
141
00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:35,659
In these clothes?
142
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:39,687
Um, you could
change your hat.
143
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:47,629
Take it easy there.
That's all right.
144
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,938
Everything's gonna be all right.
Just take it easy.
145
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:53,979
He sees you
in the $50 seats.
146
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:58,415
He immediately falls in love with ya.
Can't take his eyes off ya.
147
00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:01,783
- How can he play base... ball,
- Foot.
148
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:06,291
- And watch me in the grandstand?
- Wait. It's part of the plot.
149
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:08,349
Attaboy.
150
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:16,197
That's swell.
Now you're doin' good.
151
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:21,033
We'll play the scene
very digni... fied.
152
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,972
Service, please.
153
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,737
Come on, boys, come on.
154
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:41,685
- It's him.
- For the love of Pete!
155
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,854
Attention.
156
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,558
We'll just walk
through this thing.
157
00:12:47,633 --> 00:12:51,569
Take it, Miss Plupp,
where you come out of the grandstand.
158
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:55,198
- He makes me sick.
- Shall I bounce a rock off his head?
159
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,903
- Respect your father. What kind of a rock?
- Oh, shut up.
160
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:02,607
You're both madly in love
with each other.
161
00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:05,149
Embrace.
162
00:13:07,586 --> 00:13:11,044
- Is she standing in a hole?
- No, sir.
163
00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:12,920
Read your lines.
164
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,718
When does this thing stop?
165
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:20,254
It's all right.
You're doing all right.
166
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:22,766
Got any cigars, kid?
You know the brand.
167
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:25,303
We're making
motion picture history.
168
00:13:25,371 --> 00:13:29,102
I want quiet!
Quiet from everybody!
169
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,710
Pa's drunk again.
170
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:44,044
Cut that out. Take your dirty hands
off me and get back to your places.
171
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,985
Here.
172
00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:53,259
Give this that
"number-seven" expression.
173
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:57,462
- "Those eyes! Those ears!"
- I wanna be in a picture.
174
00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:02,866
Uh, I'll put you in
later on, dear.
175
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:05,103
Uh, give me...
176
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:08,203
What's the matter, Pop?
Don't you love me?
177
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,908
Don't you dare strike that child.
178
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:13,679
She's not gonna tell me
I don't love her.
179
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:16,949
- Those eyes.
- Those eyes.
180
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,820
Those ears.
181
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:22,452
That nose.
182
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,520
Oh, Godfrey Daniel!
183
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,998
Mother of pearl!
184
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:32,102
The child's only playing
with you, you fool.
185
00:14:32,171 --> 00:14:35,800
I don't understand her "funning. "
186
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,843
Let's...
187
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,380
Now to continue.
188
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:45,508
Those ey...
189
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:53,414
Uh... Thanks.
190
00:14:53,492 --> 00:14:56,052
Study that script.
Say, Joe.
191
00:14:56,128 --> 00:15:00,656
Mr. Sous�! Mr. Sous�!
How do you like that?
192
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:05,033
Mr. Greene, you haven't
another thing to worry about.
193
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,470
I'm perfectly okay.
194
00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:09,632
You look it.
195
00:15:15,781 --> 00:15:19,012
- Getting quite late.
- It is!
196
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:22,383
- See you're still at it.
- Serves ya right.
197
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:26,618
- Be courteous, James.
- Yes, ma'am.
198
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,259
We'll leave the motor running.
Come on.
199
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:47,006
Pass over all that dough,
and do it quietly.
200
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:50,344
Imagine parking his car in front of a
"no parking" sign with the engine running!
201
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:53,943
Two buck fine will do him a lot of good.
Let's take it to headquarters.
202
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,753
Don't forget to keep
your foot off that alarm.
203
00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:04,922
Somebody must've nailed the car.
Let's take it on the lam.
204
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:09,961
Help! Help! Police, help!
205
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:14,096
Please help! Robbery!
206
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:17,609
Help! Help! Police!
207
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:22,676
- Let's split that money up right now.
- Keep goin'.
208
00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,739
- Supposing we get split up?
- What of it?
209
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,910
- How much money you got? Start counting.
- No!
210
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:30,149
- Don't you trust me?
- I don't trust nobody. Not even my mother.
211
00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:32,247
- Give me my end.
- Turn loose of me.
212
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:38,127
Bank robbers. Two of 'em.
Went down this alley.
213
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:45,928
"Out to tea. Joe. "
Be drinkin' sarsaparilla next.
214
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:51,634
- Gimme half of that dough.
- I will not!
215
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,817
Must be another holdup somewhere.
216
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,775
There they are!
217
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:27,971
Grab him while I put these on.
218
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,607
That's not one of the crooks.
That's Mr. Sous�.
219
00:17:30,682 --> 00:17:33,879
Yeah, Sous�.
Accent grave over the "E."
220
00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:37,854
Fine job apprehending this desperado
and retrieving the bank funds.
221
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:42,360
- What?
- You saved the $50,000. That's the most important part.
222
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,794
Yeah, 50,000 ain't hay.
223
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,127
- Other fella got away on you, huh?
- What happened?
224
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:52,034
Uh, yes! Yes! He got away.
Pulled a knife on me.
225
00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:54,334
- An assegai.
- Lucky you had that revolver.
226
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:57,375
- You always carry it with you?
- Take this.
227
00:17:57,443 --> 00:18:00,207
We detectives gotta do those things.
228
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:02,747
Never know when you're gonna catch
a couple of bank robbers.
229
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:06,478
Mr. Skinner would like to see you and
thank you after what's just happened.
230
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:09,715
- Why don't you drop into the bank?
- I'll tell 'im about it.
231
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:13,121
- Which way did the other fella go?
- There was another fella?
232
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:15,956
- He went away.
- Away where?
233
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:20,226
Look out there!
I'll give him a punch in the nose.
234
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:24,095
See those handcuffs
are on tight, will ya?
235
00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:26,399
- Come to headquarters and identify this fella.
- Okay.
236
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,440
I'll break every bone in his hand.
237
00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:32,443
- Myrtle should be proud to have a father like you.
- I guess she is.
238
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:35,537
No wonder,
after a thing like that.
239
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:42,082
Elsie Mae Adele Brunch Sous�'s father
just caught a burglar.
240
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:45,282
And he tried to cut his throat
with a knife about this long!
241
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:47,291
Yeah.
242
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,021
And he had a gun
about this big!
243
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:53,895
- You don't say?
- Did you kill him with one bullet?
244
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,900
Mm-hmm.
245
00:18:55,968 --> 00:19:00,462
- Ohh, jiminy, you're pretty good.
- Jiminy!
246
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:04,805
One or two bullets. I was so busy shooting
him. That's the way I catch burglars.
247
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:08,677
- Do another!
- Oh, boy!
248
00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:11,181
- Will you teach me?
- Ooh, that's swell.
249
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,411
I'll teach you
when you grow up.
250
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:17,114
I never smoked a cigarette
till I was nine.
251
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:23,127
Sign my autograph book,
Mr. Souse?
252
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:26,995
"Sou-say," son.
Accent grave over the "E."
253
00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:30,626
- There's the accent grave.
- I saw you through the window.
254
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,795
- Oh, did ya?
- A knife four feet long, eh?
255
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:37,103
I'll say that the sword
Lee surrendered to Grant...
256
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,701
was a potato peeler by comparison.
257
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,246
You better come in and have
a little poultice on the house.
258
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,305
Don't mind if I do.
259
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:53,217
Mr. Sous�? Here's the interview
you gave me for my paper.
260
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:56,955
- Look it over and see if it's correct.
- Oh, thanks.
261
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,759
I'll pursue it instanta.
262
00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:02,698
Oh, yes!
"Skinner's National Bank robbed.
263
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:07,262
Egbert Sous� makes daring... "
264
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:08,966
Hey, you!
265
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:14,172
"Of loudmouthed McNasty,
alias the Wildcat.
266
00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:16,976
Drawing his revolver...
267
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,950
which he carries
for such emergencies,
268
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:24,011
he struck McNasty... "
269
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:28,321
You see, putting things like that
on motorcars is what kills people.
270
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:29,826
Get outta there!
271
00:20:31,930 --> 00:20:33,898
"For such emergencies... "
272
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:54,879
The Lompoc Picayune Intelligencer
just got out a special edition...
273
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:57,547
telling how I apprehended
them two crooks.
274
00:20:57,623 --> 00:21:01,059
For heaven's sake, can't you see
we're playing an interesting game?
275
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:06,564
There was an article in there telling
how I apprehended a couple of crooks...
276
00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:11,535
who stole $2 million
from Skinner's Lompoc Bank.
277
00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:14,504
You would.
Skinner's Lompoc Bank.
278
00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:17,633
Them's the shylocks that's got
the mortgage on this house, ain't they?
279
00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:20,872
Haunting you from morning till night.
The old pinchpennies!
280
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,880
Why don't you move...
281
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:25,075
I'm sorry they didn't
get away with the bank.
282
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:27,550
Leave it to him.
He would do a thing like that.
283
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,453
I think I'll go up
to my room for a moment.
284
00:21:31,523 --> 00:21:35,516
They want me to come down to the bank
to get a reward or job or something.
285
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:37,528
I'll go down
in the morning.
286
00:21:39,831 --> 00:21:42,026
Don't you smoke
up in your room.
287
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,364
Oh! No, I won't, dear.
288
00:21:47,339 --> 00:21:49,830
What am I doing?
289
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,569
- Hello!
- Hello, honey.
290
00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:56,841
- That was a great stunt your father pulled today.
- Huh?
291
00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:59,679
Two crooks got in the bank
and stole $25,000.
292
00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:02,652
- I never knew your father had so much intestinal fortitude.
- Are you kiddin'?
293
00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:06,452
- No!
- Come on. Let's talk about us.
294
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:10,484
- Your father took his pistol and hit one of the fellas.
- He hasn't got a pistol.
295
00:22:10,562 --> 00:22:14,965
The paper said your father took a
double-edged assegai from one of the fellas.
296
00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:17,365
- A what's-a-gai?
- An assegai. A sword!
297
00:22:17,436 --> 00:22:19,666
- Where did the newspapers get the story?
- From your father.
298
00:22:19,738 --> 00:22:22,366
He admitted the whole thing
to the police.
299
00:22:22,441 --> 00:22:25,171
Let's talk about us, Og.
300
00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:29,573
Well, I get my bonus pretty soon.
301
00:22:29,648 --> 00:22:32,242
I've already picked out
your engagement ring.
302
00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:35,684
Oh... oh, Oggie.
303
00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:39,681
Oh, golly!
304
00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:41,692
Mmm!
305
00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:45,688
Shucks.
306
00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:53,397
I have an appointment with Mr. Skinner,
president of the bank.
307
00:22:53,472 --> 00:22:56,032
- Step to one side, please.
- Yes.
308
00:22:57,909 --> 00:23:00,343
Thank you, Miss Carroll.
309
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:03,074
I had an appointment
with Mr. Skinner, the...
310
00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:05,173
Please, just to one side.
311
00:23:07,919 --> 00:23:09,853
Oh.
312
00:23:10,922 --> 00:23:12,856
There you go.
313
00:23:12,924 --> 00:23:16,553
- The president...
- Please, will you step to one side?
314
00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:18,619
Just a moment.
315
00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:21,865
- Nice weather we're having.
- Yes, it is.
316
00:23:21,933 --> 00:23:25,391
- Yes, clever observation.
- How've you been, Mr. Penny?
317
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:28,735
- Fine, thank you.
- That's good. It's very interesting.
318
00:23:28,807 --> 00:23:31,503
Ah...
319
00:23:31,576 --> 00:23:33,635
Oh.
320
00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:43,045
- How do you do? Oh, yeah. How do you do?
- How are you, sir?
321
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:47,649
Oh, well as can be expected after that
tussle I put up with those two bandits.
322
00:23:47,726 --> 00:23:50,627
- Oh, yes.
- I went to see the doctor.
323
00:23:50,695 --> 00:23:52,720
He said as a result
of that scrap,
324
00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:57,394
I'll probably have to have a kidney
and gallbladder removed.
325
00:23:57,469 --> 00:24:01,701
- I also may need an appendectomy.
- Mm-mmm.
326
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:04,401
I saw young Oggilby. He told me
to come up to see the president.
327
00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:08,845
Oh, yes, will you step aside please?
Just step one side.
328
00:24:11,249 --> 00:24:12,944
- Good mornin', sir.
- How are you?
329
00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:15,350
I wanna draw my money
outta the bank.
330
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:18,878
- You're not gonna close your account with us, are ya?
- I sure is.
331
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:22,620
- Is there any particular reason?
- Yessir. I'm scared.
332
00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:26,095
Every time I come in here,
you've got your hat on.
333
00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:29,565
Look like you're ready to take off.
It keeps me nervous.
334
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:34,799
I just wear this hat on account
of hay fever.
335
00:24:34,873 --> 00:24:36,670
Excuse me.
336
00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:39,972
That's all right. I hadn't any right
standing in front of the hole.
337
00:24:40,045 --> 00:24:42,843
Where's his office?
Is he in?
338
00:24:42,914 --> 00:24:45,576
Mr. Skinner's office
is right over there.
339
00:24:47,085 --> 00:24:49,553
- Good morning, Mr. Sous�.
- Good morning, good morning.
340
00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:53,717
- Mr. Skinner's expecting you.
- Is he? Oh, thanks. I'll go right in.
341
00:24:53,792 --> 00:24:58,559
- We want to show our appreciation of your gallantry and daring.
- Thank you.
342
00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:02,157
I wish to personally give you
a hearty handclasp.
343
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:05,635
Oh, thanks.
Hearty handclasp. Yes.
344
00:25:05,704 --> 00:25:09,105
And to present you,
with the company's compliments,
345
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:12,234
one of our 1940 calendars...
346
00:25:12,310 --> 00:25:17,475
made especially for this bank,
entitled "Spring in Lompoc. "
347
00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:19,813
Oh!
348
00:25:19,885 --> 00:25:22,615
Doesn't look unlike
the Mona Lisa.
349
00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:26,248
Won't you be seated? I've been
in consultation with our director.
350
00:25:26,324 --> 00:25:31,125
We've decided that what has been needed
in this bank is a special officer.
351
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:35,462
Or to revert to the argot
of the underworld, a bank dick.
352
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:39,163
In lieu of your heroism,
your dauntless courage,
353
00:25:39,237 --> 00:25:42,138
- I have the honor to offer you this position.
- Oh, thank you.
354
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:44,437
The remuneration at first
will be very small.
355
00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:47,171
We're a growing concern.
We're young.
356
00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:49,611
But there are a great
many chances for advancement.
357
00:25:49,681 --> 00:25:53,674
Who knows? Within a short time,
you may become my vice president.
358
00:25:53,752 --> 00:25:56,312
My first and only vice!
359
00:25:57,489 --> 00:25:59,957
Very good.
360
00:26:00,025 --> 00:26:03,290
- Uh, what time in the morning?
- The bank opens at 10:00.
361
00:26:03,361 --> 00:26:05,727
Oh. Well, that's all right.
362
00:26:05,797 --> 00:26:11,133
If I'm not here on time, just go ahead
without me. I'll catch up with ya.
363
00:26:11,202 --> 00:26:15,002
And, oh, yes, we will deduct
a certain amount from your salary...
364
00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:18,600
which will go to pay off the interest
of the mortgage on your home.
365
00:26:18,677 --> 00:26:20,736
Otherwise, it will
necessitate our foreclosing.
366
00:26:20,812 --> 00:26:25,078
And in view of what has transpired,
that would cause us heartfelt contrition.
367
00:26:25,150 --> 00:26:28,916
You took the very words
right outta my mouth.
368
00:26:30,121 --> 00:26:32,055
I'll see you here Monday.
369
00:26:32,123 --> 00:26:37,493
And I'll bring
my detective disguises with me.
370
00:26:44,302 --> 00:26:49,899
Listen, Og, there's more to this
detective business than meets the eye.
371
00:26:49,975 --> 00:26:53,172
It requires cunning
and resourcefulness.
372
00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:55,303
And I have both.
373
00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:58,577
I have a thousand disguises at home.
374
00:26:58,650 --> 00:27:01,175
I'll come in with one
of those disguises on.
375
00:27:01,252 --> 00:27:05,416
If you recognize me, you go...
376
00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:08,857
- Oh, like this?
- Not up high. It's too blatant.
377
00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:12,055
Down there. Just give me
a little one like that.
378
00:27:12,130 --> 00:27:15,361
If you don't recognize me, go...
379
00:27:15,433 --> 00:27:19,164
Well, if you don't recognize me,
you won't know what to do.
380
00:27:19,237 --> 00:27:21,899
And you won't recognize me!
381
00:27:21,973 --> 00:27:25,272
I'll be in later.
382
00:27:48,033 --> 00:27:50,866
You gotta keep in practice
for this game.
383
00:27:50,935 --> 00:27:53,369
You never know
when you're gonna...
384
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,736
have to use your gun.
385
00:27:56,808 --> 00:28:01,074
I really have a reason
for a snort this morning.
386
00:28:01,146 --> 00:28:06,345
After that bout I put up with
those two crooks, I'm still arm weary.
387
00:28:06,418 --> 00:28:10,650
President of the bank called me in.
He says, "Sous�?"
388
00:28:10,722 --> 00:28:12,952
I said, "Yes?"
389
00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:16,084
He says, "I want you
down here for our bank dick.
390
00:28:16,161 --> 00:28:18,459
We've wanted a bank dick
for a long while. "
391
00:28:18,530 --> 00:28:21,158
He says,
"In your Christmas box,
392
00:28:21,232 --> 00:28:24,827
will in all probability
be the vice presidency of this bank. "
393
00:28:24,903 --> 00:28:27,167
What'll it be?
394
00:28:27,238 --> 00:28:29,468
Depth bomb.
395
00:28:37,849 --> 00:28:40,784
Keep your hat off there.
396
00:28:58,870 --> 00:29:01,134
Very tasty. I think
I'll have another one.
397
00:29:03,775 --> 00:29:06,744
Um, some fresh water.
398
00:29:11,049 --> 00:29:13,882
And a towel.
Thank you.
399
00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:17,513
Never like to bathe
in the same water twice.
400
00:29:18,456 --> 00:29:20,390
Neat little trick, isn't it?
401
00:29:22,093 --> 00:29:26,655
Pardon me. I couldn't help
overhearing your conversation.
402
00:29:26,731 --> 00:29:29,791
- Pardon me, pardon me.
- It's quite all right.
403
00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:32,393
Waterbury's my name.
J. Frothingham Waterbury.
404
00:29:32,470 --> 00:29:36,463
- Very glad to know you. My name's Sous�.
- How do you do?
405
00:29:36,541 --> 00:29:39,510
- Accent grave over the "E."
- Oh, so?
406
00:29:39,577 --> 00:29:41,807
I'm in the bond
and stock business.
407
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:46,817
I have 5,000 shares of the Beefsteak Mines
that I want to turn over to your bank.
408
00:29:46,885 --> 00:29:51,117
I like this little town, and I want to get
some contacts. I think you're the very man.
409
00:29:51,189 --> 00:29:56,559
- These shares are selling
for ten cents a share and...
410
00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:03,559
- Ten cents, eh?
- Oh, that's terrible.
411
00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:06,502
These shares are selling
for ten cents a share.
412
00:30:06,571 --> 00:30:09,699
- A telephone company once sold for five cents a share.
- Five cents?
413
00:30:09,774 --> 00:30:14,006
These shares are twice as expensive,
therefore they'll be twice as valuable!
414
00:30:14,078 --> 00:30:16,512
- Sure, they will.
- Naturally you're no dunce.
415
00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:21,245
The telephone is now listed
at $1.73, and you can't buy it.
416
00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:25,756
$3,460 for every nickel
you put into it.
417
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:29,385
The point I'm trying to make
is this...
418
00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:31,587
- Huh?
- The point I'm trying to make is:
419
00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:35,064
These shares sell for ten cents.
It's simple arithmetic.
420
00:30:35,133 --> 00:30:38,193
- If five will get you ten, ten will get you 20!
- Sure.
421
00:30:38,269 --> 00:30:43,605
Sixteen cylinder cars. A big home in
the city. Balconies upstairs and down.
422
00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:47,008
Home in the country.
Big trees. Private golf course.
423
00:30:47,078 --> 00:30:49,308
Stream running through
the rear of the estate.
424
00:30:49,380 --> 00:30:52,645
Warm Sunday afternoon
fishing under the cool trees.
425
00:30:52,717 --> 00:30:55,481
Sipping ice-cold beer.
426
00:30:55,553 --> 00:30:57,919
I can almost see the foam.
427
00:30:57,989 --> 00:31:00,583
- Ham and cheese on rye.
- With mustard.
428
00:31:00,658 --> 00:31:03,354
- Yeah.
- We have plenty of mustard at the house.
429
00:31:03,428 --> 00:31:07,694
And then this guy comes up the shady
drive in an armored car from a bank.
430
00:31:07,765 --> 00:31:10,666
And he dumps
a whole basket of coupons...
431
00:31:10,735 --> 00:31:14,171
worth hundreds of thousands of dollars
right in your lap.
432
00:31:14,239 --> 00:31:17,572
And he says, "Sign here, please,
on the dotted line. "
433
00:31:17,642 --> 00:31:19,576
I'll have a fountain pen
by that time.
434
00:31:19,644 --> 00:31:21,874
And then he's off
to the soft chirping...
435
00:31:21,946 --> 00:31:25,006
of our feathered friends
in the arboreal dell.
436
00:31:25,083 --> 00:31:27,551
- That's what these bonds mean.
- They do, eh?
437
00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:31,817
I'd rather part with my dear old grandmother's
paisley shawl or her wedding ring...
438
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:33,949
than to part with these bonds.
439
00:31:34,025 --> 00:31:38,291
It must be tough to lose
a paisley shawl.
440
00:31:38,363 --> 00:31:40,831
Thank you.
That's fine.
441
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,629
- Gosh! Oh, pardon my language.
- It's all right.
442
00:31:43,701 --> 00:31:46,727
- I swear sometimes myself.
- I feel like a dog.
443
00:31:46,804 --> 00:31:51,503
But it's now or never.
It must be done, so take it or leave it.
444
00:31:51,576 --> 00:31:56,104
- I'll take it.
- Fine, fine, fine!
445
00:31:56,180 --> 00:31:59,707
- Meet me down at the bank in about an hour.
- Certainly! My card.
446
00:31:59,784 --> 00:32:01,843
Thanks.
447
00:32:12,797 --> 00:32:14,765
I got you set for life.
448
00:32:14,832 --> 00:32:17,494
I don't hang around
that Black Pussy Cafe for nothing.
449
00:32:17,568 --> 00:32:19,661
I met a poor fella
who's in trouble.
450
00:32:19,737 --> 00:32:22,171
Something the matter
with his grandmother's paisley shawl.
451
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,573
He has 5,000 shares
in the Beefsteak Mine,
452
00:32:25,643 --> 00:32:28,510
and you can buy them
for a handful of hay.
453
00:32:28,579 --> 00:32:30,547
Hay? And they're worth...
454
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:32,549
Ten cents a share.
455
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:35,211
Telephone sold
for five cents a share.
456
00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:38,483
How would you like something better
for ten cents a share?
457
00:32:38,556 --> 00:32:41,992
If five gets you ten,
ten'll get you 20.
458
00:32:42,060 --> 00:32:46,087
Beautiful home in the country.
Upstairs and down.
459
00:32:46,164 --> 00:32:51,693
Beer flowing through the estate
over your grandmother's paisley shawl.
460
00:32:51,769 --> 00:32:54,704
- Beer?
- Beer!
461
00:32:54,772 --> 00:32:57,536
Fishing in the stream...
462
00:32:57,608 --> 00:33:00,736
that runs under the arboreal dell.
463
00:33:00,812 --> 00:33:03,747
A man comes up from the bar.
464
00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:07,148
Dumps $3,500 in your lap...
465
00:33:07,218 --> 00:33:09,743
for every nickel invested.
466
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:14,121
Says to you, "Sign here
on the dotted line. "
467
00:33:14,192 --> 00:33:18,720
And then disappears
in the waving fields of alfalfa.
468
00:33:18,796 --> 00:33:22,027
Gosh. Do you think
he was tellin' the truth?
469
00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:25,536
You don't think a man
would resort to taradiddle, do you?
470
00:33:25,603 --> 00:33:27,935
Why, he sobbed
like a child...
471
00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:30,941
at the very thought
of disposing of these shares.
472
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:33,341
How does a bank
make its money?
473
00:33:33,411 --> 00:33:35,174
- By investing.
- That's the point.
474
00:33:35,246 --> 00:33:37,714
You don't wanna work all your life.
475
00:33:37,782 --> 00:33:41,411
Take a chance!
Take it while you're young.
476
00:33:41,486 --> 00:33:44,353
My uncle,
a balloon ascensionist,
477
00:33:44,422 --> 00:33:47,880
Effingham Hoffnagle,
took a chance.
478
00:33:47,959 --> 00:33:50,723
He was three miles and a half
up in the air.
479
00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:53,457
He jumped out of the basket
of the balloon,
480
00:33:53,531 --> 00:33:56,864
and took a chance
of lighting on a load of hay.
481
00:33:56,934 --> 00:34:00,199
Golly!
Did he make it?
482
00:34:00,271 --> 00:34:05,140
- Uh... no, he didn't.
- Oh.
483
00:34:05,209 --> 00:34:09,043
Had he been a younger man,
he probably would've made it.
484
00:34:09,113 --> 00:34:13,641
That's the point!
Don't wait too long in life.
485
00:34:17,922 --> 00:34:20,516
I've never done anything
like this.
486
00:34:20,591 --> 00:34:23,253
And another thing,
I haven't got the money.
487
00:34:24,629 --> 00:34:28,531
'Course my bonus comes due
in four days. That's $500.
488
00:34:28,599 --> 00:34:30,794
I could buy 'em then,
and with all that money,
489
00:34:30,868 --> 00:34:33,166
I really might be worthy
of your daughter's hand.
490
00:34:33,237 --> 00:34:36,434
Women really appreciate
the fine things in life.
491
00:34:36,507 --> 00:34:40,944
- You don't wanna die and leave your wife and children paupers, do you?
- No.
492
00:34:41,012 --> 00:34:44,004
Borrow the $500 from the bank.
493
00:34:44,082 --> 00:34:48,075
- You intend to pay it back when your bonus comes due, don't ya?
- Oh, sure.
494
00:34:48,152 --> 00:34:52,748
Surely! Don't be a luddy-duddy.
Don't be a mooncalf.
495
00:34:52,824 --> 00:34:56,851
- Don't be a jabbernowl. You're not those, are you?
- No.
496
00:34:56,928 --> 00:35:00,489
I guess there's no way you could
confuse it with stealing, is there?
497
00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:03,398
Ha. Nothing
could be more absurd.
498
00:35:03,468 --> 00:35:05,561
All right,
send him in.
499
00:35:05,636 --> 00:35:08,730
He won't be here
till 11:00.
500
00:35:21,686 --> 00:35:24,519
- Got him! Back, back!
- Oh, what do you mean?
501
00:35:24,589 --> 00:35:26,682
The idea!
502
00:35:26,757 --> 00:35:30,853
- Is that gun loaded?
- Certainly not. But I think you are.
503
00:35:30,928 --> 00:35:34,796
Mommy, doesn't that man
have a funny nose?
504
00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:36,891
You mustn't make fun
of the gentleman, Clifford.
505
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:40,768
You'd like to have a nose like
that full of nickels, wouldn't you?
506
00:35:40,838 --> 00:35:44,934
I'll throw him in the wastepaper basket
the next time he comes in here.
507
00:36:10,902 --> 00:36:12,870
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
508
00:36:12,937 --> 00:36:15,064
I'm the officer.
Can I help you?
509
00:36:15,139 --> 00:36:17,073
I'd like to see Mr. Skinner,
the president of the bank.
510
00:36:17,141 --> 00:36:21,271
Oh, yes, he'll be very glad
to see you, I'm sure.
511
00:36:21,345 --> 00:36:23,643
Very glad.
512
00:36:23,714 --> 00:36:26,945
J. Pinkerton Snoopington,
bank examiner, is that right?
513
00:36:27,018 --> 00:36:29,179
- Yes.
- He'll be...
514
00:36:29,253 --> 00:36:31,915
He'll be very glad
to see you, but...
515
00:36:31,989 --> 00:36:34,583
he's gone out to
the golf course on business.
516
00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:37,389
Probably won't be back
till midnight.
517
00:36:37,461 --> 00:36:39,292
If he does return,
where can he call you?
518
00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:42,161
I'm stopping at the New Old Lompoc House
down the avenue.
519
00:36:42,233 --> 00:36:46,636
Oh, New Old Lompoc House!
Frank Cridellhoffer, the management.
520
00:36:46,704 --> 00:36:49,867
I know him well.
If you need anything during the night,
521
00:36:49,941 --> 00:36:52,535
- Just mention my name.
- Yes, yes, I will.
522
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:54,635
That's fine. Yes.
523
00:36:58,916 --> 00:37:03,979
Got some bad news for ya. Can you
take it now, or shall I hold off?
524
00:37:04,055 --> 00:37:06,819
That was the bank examiner,
wasn't it?
525
00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:10,622
- You guessed it the first time.
- Oh, I knew this would happen.
526
00:37:10,695 --> 00:37:12,856
I was a perfect idiot
to ever listen to you.
527
00:37:15,132 --> 00:37:17,794
You listen to me.
528
00:37:17,868 --> 00:37:21,235
There's nothing in this world
that is perfect.
529
00:37:21,305 --> 00:37:25,674
It'll be four days before I get
my bonus, and can replace that money.
530
00:37:25,743 --> 00:37:28,576
Oh, was I a dope!
I've sacrificed everything:
531
00:37:28,646 --> 00:37:31,444
my job, my marriage
to your daughter.
532
00:37:31,515 --> 00:37:34,040
Keep my daughter's name
outta this.
533
00:37:34,118 --> 00:37:38,987
Don't you ever tell me again
I'm not a jabbernowl and a mooncalf!
534
00:37:40,491 --> 00:37:43,551
Please get out of the office, Mr. Sous�.
This is terrible.
535
00:37:43,628 --> 00:37:48,156
I reiterate.
Leave everything to me.
536
00:37:48,232 --> 00:37:51,326
Don't worry about a thing.
537
00:37:54,138 --> 00:37:56,163
Hello! Hello.
538
00:37:56,240 --> 00:38:00,233
Give me the
New Old Lompoc House.
539
00:38:00,311 --> 00:38:03,769
Yeah, the New Old.
540
00:38:03,848 --> 00:38:06,408
Is Charlie
on the desk?
541
00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:18,121
- What's a six-letter word
meaning embezzlement? - Prison.
542
00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:23,396
I'll bet that's Og.
543
00:38:23,467 --> 00:38:26,436
He's got her bettin' now.
She never gambled 'fore she met him.
544
00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:30,235
- Hello, Og.
- Hello, dear.
545
00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:32,970
Still working on
your crossword puzzle book?
546
00:38:33,044 --> 00:38:35,512
Uh-huh.
I'll tell you one on Grandma.
547
00:38:35,579 --> 00:38:38,742
I asked them to give me
a six-letter word meaning embezzlement,
548
00:38:38,816 --> 00:38:42,616
and she said, "Prison. "
549
00:38:42,687 --> 00:38:45,281
Isn't that a hot one?
550
00:38:45,356 --> 00:38:47,847
Huh?
551
00:38:55,800 --> 00:39:00,396
- She's right.
- What's the matter with you?
552
00:39:00,471 --> 00:39:04,874
I've got something to confess.
Our engagement is off.
553
00:39:04,942 --> 00:39:08,275
Og, what are you saying?
554
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:11,042
Oh, well, it's only off
for a while, dear.
555
00:39:11,115 --> 00:39:13,640
That is, if you're willing
to wait until I get out of prison.
556
00:39:13,718 --> 00:39:17,711
Og, don't scare me!
Oh, stop fooling.
557
00:39:17,788 --> 00:39:21,485
- What do you mean?
- Oh, I don't know. I can't think straight.
558
00:39:21,559 --> 00:39:23,925
Your father brought a man
into the bank who sold me...
559
00:39:23,994 --> 00:39:28,192
his grandmother's paisley shawl
with a beer river running through it.
560
00:39:28,265 --> 00:39:30,290
I don't know
what it was!
561
00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:34,532
Are you sick? Let me feel your head.
You've got a fever.
562
00:39:34,605 --> 00:39:37,073
I don't know what I've got,
but your father got me...
563
00:39:37,141 --> 00:39:40,076
to take $500 from the bank funds
and invest it and...
564
00:39:40,144 --> 00:39:42,669
- Og!
- Shh. Not so loud.
565
00:39:42,747 --> 00:39:45,511
I don't want your mother
or grandmother to hear.
566
00:39:45,583 --> 00:39:50,077
And he got me to invest it in telephone,
telegraphs, an electric light company...
567
00:39:50,154 --> 00:39:54,022
No, it wasn't a telephone or telegraph.
It was a Beefsteak Mine.
568
00:39:54,091 --> 00:39:58,118
A Beefsteak Mine...
Og, have you been drinking?
569
00:39:58,195 --> 00:40:02,131
I'm going to tell my mother that my father
got you to drink and steal money from the bank.
570
00:40:02,199 --> 00:40:04,929
- No, listen...
- I'm going to tell my mother right away...
571
00:40:05,002 --> 00:40:08,802
that my father got you to steal money from
the bank and invest it in a Beefsteak Mine.
572
00:40:08,873 --> 00:40:11,034
Oh, now, Myrtle!
573
00:40:11,108 --> 00:40:14,043
It was very nice of you
to call me, Mr. Sous�.
574
00:40:14,111 --> 00:40:18,445
Not at all. I knew you were a stranger.
I wanted to make your stay happy.
575
00:40:18,516 --> 00:40:21,952
I work for the Chamber of Commerce
when I'm not on my regular...
576
00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:24,112
- Would you like to weigh yourself?
- No.
577
00:40:24,188 --> 00:40:28,716
I know the manager here. He'll let
you weigh yourself for nothing.
578
00:40:28,793 --> 00:40:32,889
This Lompoc is noted
for its beautiful girls.
579
00:40:32,963 --> 00:40:36,091
- I imagine you've noticed them.
- Yes, I have.
580
00:40:36,167 --> 00:40:38,863
I'm a married man with a grown daughter,
18 years of age.
581
00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:43,066
Oh, I'd like to meet her.
I'm very fond of children.
582
00:40:43,140 --> 00:40:46,041
Girl children
around 18, 20.
583
00:40:46,110 --> 00:40:50,604
I have a young daughter of
marriageable age. Also a small daughter.
584
00:40:50,681 --> 00:40:54,879
Nice wife, and a mother-in-law
that loves me like her own son.
585
00:40:54,952 --> 00:40:57,420
Would you like to give the town
a double-o?
586
00:40:57,488 --> 00:41:00,286
A little constitutional
couldn't possibly hurt.
587
00:41:00,357 --> 00:41:04,794
No. Ah! The Black Pussy Cafe
and Snack Bar.
588
00:41:04,862 --> 00:41:08,423
Hello. How would you like to go in
and have a little spot?
589
00:41:08,499 --> 00:41:12,458
No, no,
I never drink during business hours.
590
00:41:12,536 --> 00:41:17,633
Just a little spot, and we'll find out
how Gumlegs came out at Del Mar.
591
00:41:17,708 --> 00:41:21,474
This... this place
isn't crowded, is it?
592
00:41:21,545 --> 00:41:24,708
No. If it wasn't for me,
the place would starve to death.
593
00:41:24,782 --> 00:41:28,548
- I'll dawdle for about ten minutes.
- We'll dawdle together.
594
00:41:28,619 --> 00:41:31,486
Oh, after you.
595
00:41:31,555 --> 00:41:33,785
Thank you.
596
00:41:34,758 --> 00:41:37,818
Nice little place here.
597
00:41:37,895 --> 00:41:40,989
Could we find a secluded spot
where we won't be observed?
598
00:41:41,065 --> 00:41:44,432
Oh, surely. Sit right down there.
Nobody'll see ya.
599
00:41:44,502 --> 00:41:48,302
Just a couple of
local beer guzzlers.
600
00:41:48,372 --> 00:41:50,533
Could we pull the shade?
601
00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:54,874
You can pull anything you want. It's
a regular joint. I know Joe very well.
602
00:41:54,945 --> 00:41:57,539
- What's your pleasure?
- Rye highball.
603
00:41:57,615 --> 00:42:00,175
Rye highball.
604
00:42:00,251 --> 00:42:02,549
- Make it light.
- Light rye.
605
00:42:03,554 --> 00:42:06,148
Mr. Sous�, what'll it be?
606
00:42:06,223 --> 00:42:09,158
I want two highballs.
607
00:42:09,226 --> 00:42:13,128
One very light.
You can double up on mine.
608
00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:16,894
Has Michael Finn
been in here today?
609
00:42:16,967 --> 00:42:18,901
No, but he will be.
610
00:42:18,969 --> 00:42:20,527
That's good.
611
00:42:20,604 --> 00:42:24,870
- How'd Gumlegs come out in the fifth?
- He ran sixth.
612
00:42:24,942 --> 00:42:27,274
The dog!
613
00:42:27,344 --> 00:42:30,040
- You ever bet on the races?
- No, I never wager.
614
00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:33,948
You never wager. That's not a bad idea.
It's a good system.
615
00:42:34,018 --> 00:42:37,454
I bet on that Gumlegs once.
616
00:42:37,521 --> 00:42:40,581
He won, but the jockey
got off at the three-quarters,
617
00:42:40,658 --> 00:42:44,059
and had to carry him
across the tape on his back.
618
00:42:44,128 --> 00:42:48,326
He's a beetle. The jockey
was a very insulting fellow.
619
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:51,095
He referred to my proboscis...
620
00:42:51,168 --> 00:42:55,036
as an adsatitious excrescious.
621
00:42:55,105 --> 00:42:58,165
I had to tweak his nose.
622
00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:01,734
I was compelled...
That's fine, thank you.
623
00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:07,317
Well... no one's lookin'.
624
00:43:07,384 --> 00:43:11,411
- Down the hatch.
- Down the h...
625
00:43:46,790 --> 00:43:50,351
I feel deathly ill.
626
00:43:50,427 --> 00:43:54,557
Well...
Fill 'em up again, Joe.
627
00:43:54,632 --> 00:43:56,725
No, no, please.
628
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,769
I've never had such a feeling
in all my life.
629
00:43:59,837 --> 00:44:02,601
Probably it's something
you've eaten.
630
00:44:02,673 --> 00:44:06,404
- I haven't eaten anything.
- There you are! You haven't eaten anything!
631
00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:09,969
Come on. I'll get you
some nice chili con carne.
632
00:44:11,849 --> 00:44:15,080
Or it may be the altitude.
Come on.
633
00:44:15,152 --> 00:44:18,883
Don't worry about a thing.
You're all right.
634
00:44:18,956 --> 00:44:23,655
It may be the altitude.
This town has an altitude of 500 feet.
635
00:44:23,727 --> 00:44:26,321
Population is 4,500.
636
00:44:26,397 --> 00:44:31,926
Schools, churches, public library.
637
00:44:32,002 --> 00:44:35,165
Three blocks of paved streets.
638
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:39,608
Two trains a day, not counting
the milk train at 4:00 in the morning.
639
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:43,408
- We have three drugstores. One actually sells medicine.
- Stop.
640
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:47,177
Stop, I'm dying.
Could you direct me to a culvert?
641
00:44:47,251 --> 00:44:50,584
Why don't you wait till you get
to the hotel? It's only six blocks.
642
00:44:50,654 --> 00:44:54,988
We pass the Spanish Americo
Chili Parlor on the way up.
643
00:44:58,629 --> 00:45:03,692
Maybe you've eaten an oyster
in a month that had an "R" in it.
644
00:45:03,767 --> 00:45:06,930
Don't let these people know.
It's a very respectable place.
645
00:45:07,004 --> 00:45:10,633
That's all right.
Come on.
646
00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:12,801
Equilibrium's the thing.
647
00:45:12,876 --> 00:45:15,868
If your friend is drunk,
don't bring him into this hotel.
648
00:45:15,946 --> 00:45:20,212
He's already registered.
J. Pinkerton Snoopington.
649
00:45:20,284 --> 00:45:23,253
Little case of
ptomaine poisoning.
650
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,118
- Something he ate.
- Get him out of sight as quickly as possible.
651
00:45:26,190 --> 00:45:29,591
- He's in room five.
- Room five. Come on, old boy.
652
00:45:29,660 --> 00:45:33,061
Come on.
This won't last forever.
653
00:45:33,130 --> 00:45:36,930
Come on, look out!
Look out!
654
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,059
That's it.
Now, you're all right.
655
00:45:39,136 --> 00:45:42,230
You'll be fine...
656
00:45:42,306 --> 00:45:46,538
or I'll fix it
so you will be in due time.
657
00:45:46,610 --> 00:45:51,309
I shall make it my business to see the
Lompoc Ladies Auxiliary will be informed.
658
00:45:51,381 --> 00:45:55,249
- I thought this was a family hotel.
- Yes, indeed it is.
659
00:45:55,319 --> 00:45:57,981
Uh, Mr. Snoopington
has a touch of ptomaine.
660
00:45:58,055 --> 00:46:02,082
Hmm. Didn't smell
like ptomaine.
661
00:46:04,027 --> 00:46:05,517
Well!
662
00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:08,360
Drat, drat, drat, drat!
663
00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:11,697
Come on.
Here you are.
664
00:46:14,104 --> 00:46:16,265
- Okay, okay.
- What are you trying to do?
665
00:46:16,340 --> 00:46:19,867
Fill this hotel full of delirium
tremens? We've a reputation to uphold!
666
00:46:19,943 --> 00:46:23,174
It's the same man.
Just fell out the window.
667
00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:26,273
- Friend of mine caught him on the first bounce.
- Oh, yeah?
668
00:46:26,350 --> 00:46:29,251
- Face up.
- I'll see that he doesn't bounce again.
669
00:46:29,319 --> 00:46:33,688
Come now, Mr. Snoopington.
Let's pull ourselves together now.
670
00:46:33,757 --> 00:46:36,453
Here we go.
Up, up, up.
671
00:46:36,527 --> 00:46:41,294
- Oh, yes, he's blotto. Isn't he...
- Oh!
672
00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:52,434
When you hear the tone,
673
00:46:52,509 --> 00:46:56,502
it will be 22 and
one half minutes till 7:00.
674
00:46:56,580 --> 00:46:58,912
Listen,
I'm calling Dr. Stall,
675
00:46:58,982 --> 00:47:01,951
and as a matter of fact,
when I hear the tone,
676
00:47:02,019 --> 00:47:06,513
it'll be 22 and
one half minutes till 6:00.
677
00:47:06,590 --> 00:47:10,424
- Give me Dr. Stall.
- I'll give you information please.
678
00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:15,830
I don't want information please,
or Professor Qiz, or calling all cars.
679
00:47:15,899 --> 00:47:19,562
- I want Dr. Stall.
- Louder, please.
680
00:47:19,636 --> 00:47:24,630
"Louder, please. " If I spoke any louder,
I wouldn't need a telephone.
681
00:47:24,708 --> 00:47:26,903
Gimme Dr. Stall.
682
00:47:54,471 --> 00:47:56,962
Hello.
683
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:58,974
Just a moment, please.
684
00:47:59,042 --> 00:48:02,773
The first thing you've got to do
is cut out all health foods.
685
00:48:02,846 --> 00:48:07,510
That'll be $ 10.00. The nurse will return
your clothes with the receipt.
686
00:48:08,819 --> 00:48:10,753
Hello.
687
00:48:10,821 --> 00:48:13,813
This is Sous� speaking, Doc.
How are ya?
688
00:48:13,891 --> 00:48:17,327
I'm here at the
New Old Lompoc House.
689
00:48:17,394 --> 00:48:21,262
There's a bank examiner
in town, an old friend of the family's.
690
00:48:21,331 --> 00:48:25,700
He's evidently been on a bender.
He's full of nose paint.
691
00:48:32,276 --> 00:48:35,734
Hello, Snoopy, old boy!
How do you feel?
692
00:48:35,812 --> 00:48:40,647
I feel as though I've been poisoned.
693
00:48:40,717 --> 00:48:43,242
You look the picture of health.
694
00:48:47,157 --> 00:48:49,751
Ooh.
695
00:48:52,329 --> 00:48:56,390
Shame. Agony.
696
00:48:57,234 --> 00:48:59,930
My poor wife.
697
00:49:00,003 --> 00:49:03,336
Little Doret.
698
00:49:03,407 --> 00:49:06,535
I forgot to telephone them last night.
699
00:49:06,610 --> 00:49:09,738
Why don't you let me
get you something to eat?
700
00:49:09,813 --> 00:49:13,681
How'd you like some breaded veal cutlet
with tomato sauce?
701
00:49:13,750 --> 00:49:17,686
- Ooh!
- A chocolate �clair with whip cream?
702
00:49:17,754 --> 00:49:20,222
Poor fellow hasn't had
anything to eat.
703
00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:23,623
Oh.
704
00:49:23,694 --> 00:49:26,185
I guess that's the doctor.
705
00:49:28,732 --> 00:49:31,166
Hello, Doc.
How are ya?
706
00:49:31,234 --> 00:49:33,759
- How's business?
- Oh, fair, fair.
707
00:49:33,837 --> 00:49:36,806
I don't suppose we'll ever get another
whooping cough epidemic again.
708
00:49:36,873 --> 00:49:39,205
No, I don't suppose we will.
709
00:49:39,276 --> 00:49:43,542
This is the eminent, uh, Dr. Stall.
710
00:49:43,613 --> 00:49:46,605
Diagnostician,
our town's leading physician.
711
00:49:46,683 --> 00:49:51,552
- What's the name?
- J. Pinkerton Snoopington.
712
00:49:51,621 --> 00:49:53,589
- Business?
- Bank examiner.
713
00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:55,591
- Bank examiner?
- Yes.
714
00:49:55,659 --> 00:49:58,127
Quite a lucrative occupation.
715
00:49:58,195 --> 00:50:01,562
Do you mind, uh,
showing me your tongue?
716
00:50:07,104 --> 00:50:10,403
You must eat more solids...
meats and sauces.
717
00:50:10,474 --> 00:50:12,408
You need iron...
liver and bacon.
718
00:50:12,476 --> 00:50:15,343
You lack vitamins A, B and C.
719
00:50:15,412 --> 00:50:20,850
Skip the rest down to X and Y. If Z
is necessary, we'll give you that later.
720
00:50:20,917 --> 00:50:23,852
What you need
most of all is rest.
721
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:27,151
Rest will do more for you
than all the doctors in the world.
722
00:50:27,224 --> 00:50:30,660
- No exercise!
- No.
723
00:50:30,727 --> 00:50:34,094
Now, you take two of these...
724
00:50:34,164 --> 00:50:39,932
in a glass of castor oil for two nights
running, then you skip one night.
725
00:50:40,003 --> 00:50:44,940
- But I thought you said I wasn't to take any exercise.
- You take me too literally.
726
00:50:45,008 --> 00:50:46,942
What I should say is,
727
00:50:47,010 --> 00:50:50,673
you take two for
two nights consecutively.
728
00:50:50,747 --> 00:50:54,308
- And then you, uh...
- Refrain from taking them one night.
729
00:50:54,384 --> 00:50:56,614
Yes.
730
00:50:56,686 --> 00:51:00,816
That's absolutely true and
they're tasteless. Good with goulash.
731
00:51:00,891 --> 00:51:04,884
With the proper rest,
I'll get you out of here in three days.
732
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:11,967
- Yes, sir, I'll get
you out in three days.
733
00:51:15,238 --> 00:51:20,232
- Three more days and you'll be outta here.
- Fore!
734
00:51:20,310 --> 00:51:23,438
Careful waving that cane.
You might hit something.
735
00:51:23,513 --> 00:51:27,040
Yeah, I might hit
that globe up there.
736
00:51:27,117 --> 00:51:30,985
That'll be just one day before
the boys at the bank get their bonus.
737
00:51:31,054 --> 00:51:33,079
Yes, sir, I'll have you out
in three days.
738
00:51:33,156 --> 00:51:36,148
- Unless, of course, complications set in.
- Oh, yes.
739
00:51:36,226 --> 00:51:40,253
- That'll naturally take an extra day.
- Yes!
740
00:51:40,330 --> 00:51:42,298
Now, leave everything to me.
741
00:51:42,365 --> 00:51:45,994
I'll do the worrying.
Be happy and gay!
742
00:51:46,069 --> 00:51:49,232
I'll have the management
send you up a radio.
743
00:51:49,306 --> 00:51:53,367
Come on, Doc.
We better be going.
744
00:51:53,443 --> 00:51:56,708
Toodle-oo!
745
00:51:56,780 --> 00:52:01,774
Gonna have the missus bake you a nice
coconut custard pie with Savaloi pudding.
746
00:52:04,354 --> 00:52:06,515
You haven't a thing
to worry about.
747
00:52:06,590 --> 00:52:10,583
I've got Snoopington down at the
New Old Lompoc House. He's still in bed.
748
00:52:10,660 --> 00:52:13,857
Oh, much obliged.
I gotta put on my work clothes now.
749
00:52:13,930 --> 00:52:16,057
Okay, go ahead.
750
00:52:16,133 --> 00:52:18,363
Uh, what do you mean?
751
00:52:21,471 --> 00:52:24,065
Ha, yeah.
I thought I lost it.
752
00:52:31,081 --> 00:52:33,379
How-dee-do, Mr. Skinner?
753
00:52:36,453 --> 00:52:40,116
Mr. Sous�, we appreciate
the capture you made...
754
00:52:40,190 --> 00:52:42,420
and the manhandling
you gave those criminals.
755
00:52:42,492 --> 00:52:45,552
Oh, nothing at all!
Nothing really.
756
00:52:45,629 --> 00:52:47,688
They were a couple
of tough fellows.
757
00:52:47,764 --> 00:52:49,755
One of them pulled
a knife on me.
758
00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:53,701
Pulled a knife that
was really... It was...
759
00:52:53,770 --> 00:52:56,830
It was about that...
760
00:52:56,907 --> 00:52:59,501
It was about that long.
It was really an assegai.
761
00:52:59,576 --> 00:53:03,307
Doesn't anyone ever pull
a short knife on you, Mr. Sous�?
762
00:53:03,380 --> 00:53:05,678
A little one...
about that long?
763
00:53:05,749 --> 00:53:08,843
Oh, yes!
Yes, yes.
764
00:53:08,919 --> 00:53:12,548
Major Moe one time, a little
colored midget, pulled one on me.
765
00:53:12,622 --> 00:53:16,319
It was just about that long.
Wasn't really a knife. It was a razor.
766
00:53:16,393 --> 00:53:19,123
We're grateful to you for
retrieving the bank's funds.
767
00:53:19,196 --> 00:53:22,097
Oh, that was in
the line of duty.
768
00:53:22,165 --> 00:53:26,158
And we feel we've shown our gratitude by
giving you a position as bank's officer.
769
00:53:26,236 --> 00:53:29,137
But when you caution
Mrs. Muckle's little son...
770
00:53:29,206 --> 00:53:33,336
about carrying a toy pistol
into the bank, that's going too far.
771
00:53:33,410 --> 00:53:36,072
I cannot impress upon you
too firmly,
772
00:53:36,146 --> 00:53:39,138
the Skinner Bank is
a dignified institution.
773
00:53:39,216 --> 00:53:42,583
Yeah, that's the way
I always figured it.
774
00:53:42,652 --> 00:53:46,349
I guess you figured it the same way,
working here the same as I do.
775
00:53:46,423 --> 00:53:49,586
Furthermore, I've been informed
that you are a frequenter...
776
00:53:49,659 --> 00:53:51,786
of a cafe known
as the Black Pussy.
777
00:53:51,861 --> 00:53:54,386
Oh, yes, say,
that reminds me.
778
00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:58,730
- One of the customers gave it to me. Smoke it at your leisure.
- Thank you.
779
00:53:58,802 --> 00:54:00,861
By the way,
780
00:54:00,937 --> 00:54:05,840
accept this silver-plated napkin ring
with my compliments.
781
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:09,538
- I won it over at the bowling alley last night.
- Thanks.
782
00:54:09,613 --> 00:54:12,309
- You're welcome.
- Why, Mr. Snoopington!
783
00:54:12,382 --> 00:54:15,510
Aaah!
784
00:54:16,753 --> 00:54:19,586
I beg your pardon.
785
00:54:19,656 --> 00:54:22,090
It's an unexpected pleasure
to see you in Lompoc.
786
00:54:22,158 --> 00:54:24,786
It's no pleasure for me.
787
00:54:24,861 --> 00:54:29,059
I'm a very sick man...
but I'm also a man for duty.
788
00:54:29,132 --> 00:54:32,124
If you don't mind, I'd like
to look over your books.
789
00:54:32,202 --> 00:54:36,161
Aaah!
790
00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:38,173
Of course we don't mind.
791
00:54:38,241 --> 00:54:41,176
This bank is always ready
for an audit, yessiree.
792
00:54:41,244 --> 00:54:45,078
Mr. Sous�, our special officer,
will give you every assistance you wish.
793
00:54:45,148 --> 00:54:47,082
Come in.
794
00:54:47,150 --> 00:54:51,052
- Not feeling well, Mr. Snoopington?
- No, I'm not feeling very fit.
795
00:54:51,121 --> 00:54:53,749
Well, I'll leave you
to Mr. Sous�.
796
00:54:53,823 --> 00:54:57,190
And rest assured
you are in proper hands.
797
00:54:57,260 --> 00:54:59,194
Thank you.
798
00:55:03,833 --> 00:55:07,166
Are you, um...
799
00:55:07,237 --> 00:55:11,037
Are you still suffering from
that slight nausea you had yesterday?
800
00:55:11,107 --> 00:55:14,167
- Yes, I haven't quite gotten over it yet.
- Well, listen,
801
00:55:14,244 --> 00:55:16,610
I don't want to be
a crepe hanger,
802
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:21,811
but in your weakened condition,
you're subject to all sorts of maladies.
803
00:55:21,885 --> 00:55:26,219
- Now, I want to tell you something very confidentially.
- Yes?
804
00:55:26,289 --> 00:55:31,784
I know positively that
our good friend Dr. Stall...
805
00:55:31,861 --> 00:55:36,594
has treated this boy who thumbs
the pages of these books...
806
00:55:36,666 --> 00:55:39,999
for Malta fever, beriberi,
807
00:55:40,070 --> 00:55:45,474
and that dreaded of all
diseases, Mogo on the Ga-Go-Go.
808
00:55:45,542 --> 00:55:48,272
Mr. Sous�, if duty called,
809
00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:52,372
I would go into the tsetse fly country
of Africa and brave sleeping sickness...
810
00:55:52,449 --> 00:55:55,816
- If there were books to be examined.
- Hmm.
811
00:56:00,590 --> 00:56:02,683
- This way?
- Uh, yeah.
812
00:56:02,759 --> 00:56:07,025
Would you like to examine the books
of the Black Pussy Cafe?
813
00:56:07,097 --> 00:56:09,930
Thank you.
814
00:56:13,570 --> 00:56:17,233
- What you need to get is a description of that place.
- Okay.
815
00:56:21,044 --> 00:56:23,512
Og, what's the matter?
816
00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:25,605
Exactly what I suspected!
817
00:56:25,682 --> 00:56:29,311
- What?
- The old Mogo on the Ga-Go-Go.
818
00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:31,980
Og?
Whiskey!
819
00:56:32,055 --> 00:56:33,750
Whiskey? Look out!
I'll get it!
820
00:56:33,823 --> 00:56:35,984
- Whiskey.
- What's the matter? Speak to me!
821
00:56:36,059 --> 00:56:38,084
- What happened to him?
- I don't know.
822
00:56:38,161 --> 00:56:42,063
Help me lift him up.
Just wet his lips.
823
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:44,464
Okay.
824
00:56:44,534 --> 00:56:47,025
Here you are.
825
00:56:55,945 --> 00:56:58,209
Uh...
826
00:56:58,281 --> 00:57:02,149
- Ooh!
- Something in the clamp?
827
00:57:02,218 --> 00:57:04,584
Oh, that's a good question.
828
00:57:04,654 --> 00:57:09,887
Ah, unfortunately you
must've had your hand in there.
829
00:57:09,959 --> 00:57:12,484
That'll interfere with
your writing, won't it?
830
00:57:12,562 --> 00:57:15,463
It won't interfere with my writing.
Fortunately, I'm left-handed.
831
00:57:15,532 --> 00:57:19,195
Oh, that's unfort...
Oh, yeah.
832
00:57:19,269 --> 00:57:22,261
Get him a glass of water,
will you, Scotty? Feel better?
833
00:57:32,515 --> 00:57:36,417
Psst!
Mr. Sous�.
834
00:57:36,486 --> 00:57:40,217
Did I see that
bank examiner here?
835
00:57:40,290 --> 00:57:42,258
Why, I don't imagine so.
836
00:57:42,325 --> 00:57:46,056
With my introspective eye
as a detective,
837
00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:49,360
I would naturally
have seen him...
838
00:57:52,702 --> 00:57:56,934
Ah, just as I thought:
recurring fever.
839
00:57:57,006 --> 00:57:59,474
I'm sorry to appear
overzealous,
840
00:57:59,542 --> 00:58:02,739
but these books
have got to be examined.
841
00:58:04,481 --> 00:58:07,973
- Let me help you, Mr. Snoopington.
- Oh, thank you.
842
00:58:08,051 --> 00:58:11,418
Here you are, sir.
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
843
00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:14,480
That's all right.
I can't see a thing without my glasses.
844
00:58:14,557 --> 00:58:18,084
- Here you are, sir.
- Thank you.
845
00:58:18,161 --> 00:58:21,756
- I'll be right over here if you need me, sir.
- All right.
846
00:58:41,651 --> 00:58:43,585
If I can be of...
847
00:58:46,089 --> 00:58:48,853
Oh, sorry.
And I try to be so helpful.
848
00:58:48,925 --> 00:58:52,361
Well, oh.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
849
00:58:52,428 --> 00:58:55,920
I hope that won't interfere
with your auditing the books.
850
00:58:55,999 --> 00:58:58,797
It certainly will not!
851
00:58:58,868 --> 00:59:01,769
Oh, that's good, that's good.
852
00:59:15,151 --> 00:59:17,745
It couldn't be possible
that Mr. Sous� is trying...
853
00:59:17,820 --> 00:59:21,051
to keep me from examining
the books?
854
00:59:48,384 --> 00:59:50,375
There, you see?
855
00:59:50,453 --> 00:59:53,251
Mr. Sous�, I've done Mr. Oggilby
a great wrong.
856
00:59:53,323 --> 00:59:55,382
And I'm here to rectify that wrong.
857
00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:58,450
I was hoodwinked into believing
that those bonds were 100%%.
858
00:59:58,528 --> 01:00:01,827
I've never been guilty of
a dishonest act in my life.
859
01:00:01,898 --> 01:00:05,390
So I'll take those bonds off his hands
if I have to pay for them with my blood.
860
01:00:05,468 --> 01:00:07,595
- Transfusion?
- Anything.
861
01:00:07,670 --> 01:00:12,164
There you are. The man is willing to buy
the bonds back with his own blood.
862
01:00:12,241 --> 01:00:16,678
I don't want blood. I want money.
Let him give me back the $500.
863
01:00:16,746 --> 01:00:20,307
The boy needs money.
He doesn't want blood.
864
01:00:20,383 --> 01:00:22,943
He's got high
blood pressure already.
865
01:00:23,019 --> 01:00:24,953
Give him what he paid
for the bonds in cash.
866
01:00:25,021 --> 01:00:27,251
I'm the saddest man in the world.
867
01:00:27,323 --> 01:00:30,258
You may be the second saddest,
but he's the saddest.
868
01:00:30,326 --> 01:00:32,954
I'm prepared to pay you $350 cash.
869
01:00:33,029 --> 01:00:36,430
I'll pay the rest in
weekly installments of $25 per week.
870
01:00:36,499 --> 01:00:39,832
I'll even give you my favorite aunt's
wedding ring as security.
871
01:00:39,902 --> 01:00:42,462
I want to prove that
I am honest in the worst way.
872
01:00:42,538 --> 01:00:45,871
The worst way.
873
01:00:51,147 --> 01:00:56,050
Thanks. I was a fool to listen to Mr. Sous�
in the first place. In the second place too.
874
01:00:56,119 --> 01:01:00,146
- Paper, mister?
- How'd Gumlegs come out in the fourth today?
875
01:01:00,223 --> 01:01:03,624
- I don't know.
- Let me see your paper.
876
01:01:05,895 --> 01:01:10,628
A bonanza!
Beefsteak Mine.
877
01:01:10,700 --> 01:01:13,464
Godfrey Daniel!
878
01:01:17,373 --> 01:01:21,002
Oh! What are you doing? Just as
I was getting some of my money back!
879
01:01:21,077 --> 01:01:24,240
You read this paper.
You're a millionaire!
880
01:01:24,313 --> 01:01:27,043
Go away, Mr. Sous�.
Look at that window.
881
01:01:27,116 --> 01:01:29,311
Read that paper.
882
01:01:32,422 --> 01:01:36,290
Oh! Now I can put the money back
without waiting for my bonus.
883
01:01:36,359 --> 01:01:39,522
Mr. Snoopington is no longer a nightmare.
Bring him in here, I'll kill him.
884
01:01:39,595 --> 01:01:42,792
Calm yourself, Oggilby, my boy.
Calm yourself.
885
01:01:42,865 --> 01:01:46,198
- Golly. Oh, Mr. Sous�!
- Cut it out.
886
01:01:46,269 --> 01:01:49,534
Oh, Mr. Sous�, I don't need
all this money. I don't deserve it.
887
01:01:49,605 --> 01:01:52,301
You engineered the whole thing.
You're a financial wizard.
888
01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:55,503
- I'm gonna split with ya. I'll give you half of 'em.
- Thank you, Og.
889
01:01:55,578 --> 01:01:57,512
Wait. I'll follow ya.
890
01:01:57,580 --> 01:02:02,643
- Anything I can do for you?
- You sure can, brother.
891
01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:06,621
Turn around and start walking toward
the cashier's cage and keep quiet.
892
01:02:06,689 --> 01:02:09,715
Ooh! That tickles.
893
01:02:09,792 --> 01:02:12,192
You remember me, don't you?
894
01:02:12,261 --> 01:02:17,722
Ah, you remember the gentleman, Og?
895
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:20,769
Yes, sir. That's the man
that held me up the last time.
896
01:02:20,837 --> 01:02:24,238
Ah, mind your, uh,
mind your language, Og.
897
01:02:24,307 --> 01:02:28,607
Here. Hate for you to be the fall guy,
but fill that up.
898
01:02:28,678 --> 01:02:32,136
- Do what the gentleman tells you to, Og, quickly.
- Yes, sir.
899
01:02:32,215 --> 01:02:34,183
- Don't, oh, don't.
- Shut up.
900
01:02:37,053 --> 01:02:40,545
- This is my Beefsteak stock.
- Fill that up.
901
01:02:40,623 --> 01:02:43,319
Do what the gentleman
tells you to, Og.
902
01:02:45,628 --> 01:02:47,926
Thanks.
903
01:02:47,997 --> 01:02:52,491
- Do you mind accompanying me to the door?
- Not at all, no.
904
01:02:52,568 --> 01:02:55,537
How-dee-do, Mrs. Chiselbottom?
905
01:02:55,605 --> 01:02:59,564
- Keep your foot off the alarm or I'll come back and plug you.
- Are you still there?
906
01:02:59,642 --> 01:03:02,202
Hello, Mr. Sous�.
Making more movies?
907
01:03:02,278 --> 01:03:05,839
- Sous�, huh? Get in that car and start driving.
- We're goin' for a ride.
908
01:03:05,915 --> 01:03:08,349
Reach for the sky
and back up there.
909
01:03:13,122 --> 01:03:18,355
- Oggilby, you're arousing the bank. You set the alarm off.
- What's the matter?
910
01:03:18,427 --> 01:03:22,329
- Like to see some of the places of interest in town?
- No, keep driving.
911
01:03:27,670 --> 01:03:31,071
- There's the Black Pussy Cafe.
- Be careful!
912
01:03:35,611 --> 01:03:38,808
Help! We've been robbed!
913
01:03:38,881 --> 01:03:41,816
Johnson, get on that phone and get
the police. There's been a robbery here.
914
01:03:41,884 --> 01:03:44,216
- Help!
- Police!
915
01:03:44,287 --> 01:03:48,417
- He took Mr. Sous�?
- He certainly did, right from under my contract.
916
01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:51,654
I've just called the police.
917
01:03:51,727 --> 01:03:55,060
- Follow that gray car.
- Come on, come on!
918
01:03:55,131 --> 01:03:58,100
Holdup!
Bank robbers up that way.
919
01:04:00,736 --> 01:04:04,467
- Don't let that car out of your sight.
- Hurry. That police car.
920
01:04:16,152 --> 01:04:18,416
- These are catalpa trees.
- Step on that gas.
921
01:04:18,487 --> 01:04:20,887
- Keep moving!
- I'm stepping on it.
922
01:04:20,957 --> 01:04:24,586
- Mr. Sous�'s liable to get hurt.
- And me with $10,000 in the briefcase for him.
923
01:04:24,660 --> 01:04:27,561
- For Sous�? What for?
- For a story he told me while he was directing.
924
01:04:27,630 --> 01:04:29,928
I sent it in with the day's report,
and the boss went nuts about it.
925
01:04:29,999 --> 01:04:32,900
He wants it and Sous� too.
926
01:04:33,936 --> 01:04:36,632
There goes the helmet.
927
01:04:51,954 --> 01:04:55,549
Come back here, you.
928
01:05:15,144 --> 01:05:17,704
There's more catalpa...
I'm sorry.
929
01:05:17,780 --> 01:05:20,374
Never mind about those trees.
Keep stepping on the gas.
930
01:05:20,449 --> 01:05:22,713
- You know who's in that car with Sous�?
- No, who?
931
01:05:22,785 --> 01:05:26,915
- Repulsive Rogan. - There's a
$5,000 dead-or-alive reward on him.
932
01:06:21,877 --> 01:06:24,539
- Stay awake!
- Be careful, driver.
933
01:06:27,316 --> 01:06:30,979
- Hey!
- Magic carpet.
934
01:06:35,925 --> 01:06:39,759
- Wipe off that windshield, you.
- Here.
935
01:06:39,829 --> 01:06:43,060
You wipe it off, I'm driving.
936
01:06:51,874 --> 01:06:54,900
Lake Shoshobogomo is right
over the top of this mountain.
937
01:06:54,977 --> 01:06:56,706
Get out and push!
938
01:06:56,779 --> 01:07:00,681
What do you think this is,
a kiddy-kar?
939
01:07:00,750 --> 01:07:02,843
Can't push
a hulking truck like this.
940
01:07:02,918 --> 01:07:05,716
Start pushing.
941
01:07:28,611 --> 01:07:32,069
Seems to be a great deal of traffic here
for a country road, don't you think?
942
01:07:32,148 --> 01:07:34,082
- Keep going.
- Yeah.
943
01:07:43,926 --> 01:07:46,224
Hiya, toots!
944
01:07:46,295 --> 01:07:48,229
Look out!
945
01:07:52,034 --> 01:07:56,733
The resale value of this car is gonna
be nil after you get over this trip.
946
01:07:59,475 --> 01:08:02,000
You're goin' too fast!
Slow down.
947
01:08:05,147 --> 01:08:08,742
- Foot brake's gone.
- Where's your emergency?
948
01:08:12,054 --> 01:08:15,319
Here it is, but it won't do you
any good in that backseat.
949
01:08:17,726 --> 01:08:21,093
Gimme that wheel.
Here, grab it.
950
01:08:21,163 --> 01:08:25,099
- Put it on there!
- We're gonna have an accident if you're not careful.
951
01:08:25,167 --> 01:08:27,431
You're gonna have a
real accident in a minute!
952
01:08:39,615 --> 01:08:43,312
- The wheel is comin' off!
- That's what I thought.
953
01:08:43,385 --> 01:08:46,445
Going to be very dangerous.
954
01:08:48,457 --> 01:08:50,448
- I'm gonna jump.
- Huh?
955
01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:01,960
Have to take the boat
from here on, anyway.
956
01:09:10,312 --> 01:09:12,940
Looking for someone?
957
01:09:23,626 --> 01:09:27,392
You better stop by the station and
see about that $5,000 reward, Mr. Sous�.
958
01:09:27,463 --> 01:09:29,658
This sure is your
lucky day, Mr. Sous�.
959
01:09:29,732 --> 01:09:32,929
Here's a check for $10,000 from the
Tela-Vis Company for that story you told us,
960
01:09:33,002 --> 01:09:35,334
as well as a contract
for you to bring it to the screen.
961
01:09:35,404 --> 01:09:38,840
Looks like it's all here, Mr. Skinner,
including the Beefsteak Mine.
962
01:09:38,908 --> 01:09:42,742
I don't know whether it is or not, but allow
me to give you another hearty handclasp.
963
01:09:52,721 --> 01:09:57,283
Judkins, has Mr. Sous�
had his cafe rum a la papa?
964
01:09:57,359 --> 01:10:01,295
- Yes, ma'am.
- Thank you, dear, I've had a double noggin.
965
01:10:01,363 --> 01:10:06,858
- What time is it, daddykins?
- It's one minute till 9:00.
966
01:10:06,936 --> 01:10:10,428
I gotta get down to the sal...
The, uh, office.
967
01:10:10,506 --> 01:10:12,406
Good-bye, Daddy dear.
968
01:10:12,474 --> 01:10:14,908
- Good-bye, dear.
- Gimme a kiss.
969
01:10:14,977 --> 01:10:18,811
- I'll give you two of 'em.
- Good-bye, pater noster.
970
01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:21,315
- Good-bye, dear.
- Take care of yourself.
971
01:10:21,383 --> 01:10:24,682
- I shall, dear.
- Good-bye, my darling.
972
01:10:24,753 --> 01:10:28,689
Hurry home if you feel like it.
I'll be waiting up as usual.
973
01:10:28,757 --> 01:10:31,692
Oh, thank you, dear.
I'll be home early.
974
01:10:45,474 --> 01:10:47,567
Hey, that doesn't look bad,
does it?
975
01:10:47,643 --> 01:10:50,703
I think, sir, this
is the more appropriate.
976
01:10:50,779 --> 01:10:54,476
Yeah, that's nice
and cool though. Thanks.
977
01:10:54,550 --> 01:10:56,484
Thank you.
978
01:11:00,222 --> 01:11:02,247
Good-bye.
979
01:11:07,096 --> 01:11:10,327
Thanks.
Thank you.
980
01:11:12,167 --> 01:11:15,193
What a changed man.
981
01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:19,469
- You deserve a lot of credit, Agatha.
- Hasn't been easy.
982
01:11:34,890 --> 01:11:37,586
Uh, say! Hey!
80832
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