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1
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:14,630
Mm.
2
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,887
Yes, another glorious Sunday.
3
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,889
Oh. Scone for my muffin?
4
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:23,056
Nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum, nyum.
5
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:26,159
And for you, five breakfast burritos.
6
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:29,429
Ah, the Voltron.
7
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:31,532
Our lives are in perfect balance.
8
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,936
Oh, it is just last-second
birthday gift shoppers.
9
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,771
Ignore them.
10
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,241
I know you're in there, you lazy dork.
11
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:42,759
I can smell the burritos!
12
00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,245
Four. No! Five!
13
00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:47,247
They can't be closed. We're booked solid
14
00:00:47,314 --> 00:00:49,816
with birthday parties today,
and we have no presents.
15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,885
Don't worry, I got this.
16
00:00:52,742 --> 00:00:53,921
Auto Trader for the girls.
17
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:55,923
Adult Escort Express for the boys.
18
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,457
Kids are adults, right?
19
00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:00,060
Fine, fine, whatever. Let's just go.
20
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,032
Let us wander as aimlessly as the plots
21
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,668
of the four upcoming Avatar sequels...
22
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,336
I can only assume.
23
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,439
I love your contempt for
things that don't matter.
24
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:16,487
_
25
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,250
Do you hear that?
26
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:26,186
Ah, silence.
27
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,793
Come on, let's go.
28
00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,362
Time to go to Milhouse's puppy party.
29
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,031
If we go late, you'll get a crappy dog.
30
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,033
That's it, I'm coming in.
31
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:44,571
Ow! No! Ow! No!
That's where I had my surgery!
32
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:57,584
Mm! Miyazaki marathon with
chilled lobster spring rolls.
33
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,186
Mm, mm.
34
00:02:07,054 --> 00:02:08,457
Oh, crap!
35
00:02:08,492 --> 00:02:11,064
I just realized I haven't
eaten anything all day.
36
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,433
They're out of pizza,
but I built you a slice
37
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:14,935
out of trash scraps.
38
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,838
Well, hide me behind your coat
while I eat it.
39
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,690
I need to be around grown-ups.
40
00:02:23,725 --> 00:02:24,731
Excuse me.
41
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,780
You just passed my street.
42
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,449
Who the hell are you?
43
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,418
Leland Huebner III.
44
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,420
Go back and get Bart.
45
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,622
Hold on, this one seems all right.
46
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,258
A little stuck up, but all right.
47
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,962
Thanks so much for the
last-minute dinner invitation.
48
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,064
There never was any dinner.
You fell for a scam.
49
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:46,433
You're babysitting. No money.
50
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,069
- _
- Adults!
51
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,754
Pull over!
52
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:58,311
Wow, Moe, you really gussy up
the place for trivia night.
53
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,247
Hey, where are the regulars?
54
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,082
Ah, keg storage.
55
00:03:02,702 --> 00:03:04,179
Hey! We're thirsty!
56
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,447
Thank you.
57
00:03:08,482 --> 00:03:10,524
I've always wanted to do a trivia.
58
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,793
Who knows what I might know?
59
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,899
Please, join our team.
60
00:03:18,965 --> 00:03:20,901
But they're noobs.
61
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:24,771
Even the humble noob has a
place in the seasons of trivia.
62
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:28,575
Ooh. Once again I am
in awe of your decency.
63
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,010
All right, all right, weirdos.
64
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,012
I want to welcome you
dorks to trivia night.
65
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,614
Now, shut your nerd faces
for the first question.
66
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:38,019
"List the four players with
the most fighting penalties
67
00:03:38,054 --> 00:03:39,386
in NHL history."
68
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,687
Oh, sports.
69
00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,923
The very lowest genus of trivium.
70
00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,791
Let's see.
Tie Domi, Dave "Tiger" Williams,
71
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,460
Dave "The Hammer" Schultz,
and, of course,
72
00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,929
Stu "The Grim Reaper" Grimson. Duh.
73
00:03:50,263 --> 00:03:53,900
All right, next category:
20th Century Vacuum Cleaners.
74
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,969
Just give me the pencil.
75
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,371
"The mascot for this Boston-based..."
76
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,841
Cuppy, the Dunkin' Donuts coffee cup.
77
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:02,909
"This English prog rock supergroup
78
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:06,513
scored a hit with 1970's "Lucky Man."
79
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,514
Emerson!
80
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:08,515
Lake!
81
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,516
And!
82
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,517
Palmer!
83
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:12,819
Okay, okay.
84
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,921
And the winning team is...
85
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,023
"Han Shot First." What does that mean?
86
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,726
- Is that dirty?
- It's from Star Wars.
87
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,728
I never heard of it. I... Is it dirty?
88
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,730
Who cares, who cares.
Here's your trophy.
89
00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,035
To fat guys with hot wives.
90
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,438
This one's for you, Kevin James.
91
00:04:36,357 --> 00:04:37,533
Take a poncho.
92
00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:41,214
I always carry extras in case
Homer eats anything slurpable.
93
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,182
That's so clever.
94
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:46,686
What other big-and-tall
"wife hacks" do you have?
95
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:50,690
Oh, I've got all kinds of tricks
for fat-proofing your house.
96
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,059
Come over sometime and I'll show you.
97
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:55,728
My chashu!
98
00:04:59,018 --> 00:05:01,634
See? Here I've welded
high-tensile steel
99
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:05,171
under the cushions to reduce sofa-sag.
100
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:09,108
I've lost a lot of furniture
to chubby hubby couch droop.
101
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:13,646
Oh, Maggie's up.
102
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:16,182
Can you go sit with her
while I warm a bottle?
103
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:19,018
Oh, but I don't know much about babies.
104
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,120
Except how to dress like one.
105
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:25,491
All is well.
106
00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:26,692
Silence.
107
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,428
You are loved!
108
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,487
Look how much she likes you.
109
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,389
You're a natural.
110
00:05:56,456 --> 00:06:00,293
I just remembered something
I must tell my husband.
111
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:02,562
Impregnate me at once!
112
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:06,299
But you never wanted children.
113
00:06:06,365 --> 00:06:08,668
You always said our marriage
is perfect as it is.
114
00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:13,306
I mean, can you imagine a
child playing in this room?
115
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:15,475
Uh, it's full of toys.
116
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:17,610
Yes, well, but yeah, but it's selfish
117
00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,813
to bring a new life into a world
with diminishing resources.
118
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,349
The planet is running
out of watchable IP!
119
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,852
They say by 2028 all we will have left
120
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:28,254
is the General Mills Cinematic Universe
121
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,423
starring Hamburger Helper.
122
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,425
If I can't convince you,
123
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,194
maybe she can.
124
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,864
Greta, the sexy Gremlin
125
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:40,833
from the underappreciated-
but-stil-terrible Gremlins 2.
126
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,837
I know this is your ultimate fantasy.
127
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,874
It's time to feed your desires
128
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,375
after midnight.
129
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,480
I must resist.
130
00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:56,949
My will is stronger
than The Great Resisto,
131
00:06:57,016 --> 00:07:00,052
a hero I am inventing
as I reference him.
132
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:03,456
Uh, my darling, my darling, I am sorry.
133
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,759
But I have spent every working
hour of my life around children,
134
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,761
and one thing I know for certain:
135
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:11,097
I don't want any.
136
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:14,233
And... banked.
137
00:07:16,315 --> 00:07:18,137
I want a baby.
138
00:07:18,204 --> 00:07:21,016
I don't want a baby!
139
00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:28,565
Kumiko's baby fever is out of control.
140
00:07:29,267 --> 00:07:30,769
Look at all these comments she left.
141
00:07:30,836 --> 00:07:33,005
It goes really quick from smiley face
142
00:07:33,071 --> 00:07:36,074
to "Without a baby, all is horror."
143
00:07:37,823 --> 00:07:39,477
Well, I think Comic Book Guy
144
00:07:39,522 --> 00:07:41,157
should have kids.
145
00:07:41,224 --> 00:07:43,359
Oh, that's so sweet.
146
00:07:43,426 --> 00:07:45,361
'Cause screw that jerk!
147
00:07:45,428 --> 00:07:49,031
Thinks his childless life is
so great just because it is.
148
00:07:49,098 --> 00:07:50,666
Wakes up whenever he wants.
149
00:07:50,733 --> 00:07:53,469
Doesn't have to lug car
seats onto the plane.
150
00:07:53,536 --> 00:07:56,172
He can store poison in the
fridge so it's nice and cold.
151
00:07:56,239 --> 00:07:58,808
And don't get me started
on their sex life.
152
00:07:58,874 --> 00:08:00,310
They can do it anywhere:
153
00:08:00,384 --> 00:08:03,713
kitchen floor, bathroom floor,
on the microwave.
154
00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:07,917
Set that baby on "popcorn."
Pop! Pop! Pop!
155
00:08:07,984 --> 00:08:10,419
So... we'll help them?
156
00:08:10,486 --> 00:08:13,789
Anything to destroy their paradise.
157
00:08:13,790 --> 00:08:15,617
_
158
00:08:19,829 --> 00:08:21,764
Remember, it's up to you two
159
00:08:21,831 --> 00:08:24,500
to make children seem like a blessing.
160
00:08:24,567 --> 00:08:27,770
Got it. And when she pops out that kid,
we each get a 20.
161
00:08:27,837 --> 00:08:30,906
- Or equivalent gift card.
- Whoa! That's the stuff.
162
00:08:30,973 --> 00:08:34,610
Oh, look, it's our trivia buddies!
163
00:08:34,627 --> 00:08:37,530
You see movies at the
same cemetery we do?
164
00:08:37,597 --> 00:08:39,533
What a pleasant surprise.
165
00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:41,534
Speaking of children,
166
00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:44,971
these two were completely
planned and wanted.
167
00:08:47,673 --> 00:08:49,542
Shrug, he shrugged.
168
00:08:49,609 --> 00:08:51,844
Uh, why don't we get some more snacks?
169
00:08:53,579 --> 00:08:55,581
Hello, little azuki bean.
170
00:08:57,984 --> 00:08:59,552
Yo, Kingpin!
171
00:08:59,619 --> 00:09:01,087
How's the ponytail hanging?
172
00:09:01,154 --> 00:09:03,689
Don't patronize me, Bart and She-Bart.
173
00:09:03,756 --> 00:09:06,125
I need silence to watch the iconic '80s
174
00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:08,828
time travel epic, Forward to the Past.
175
00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:10,863
Never heard of it. Is it any good?
176
00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:13,900
Okay, it's a consensus top
ten family action comedy
177
00:09:13,966 --> 00:09:15,902
that has been delighting
bedwetting piglets
178
00:09:15,968 --> 00:09:17,670
like yourself for eons!
179
00:09:17,737 --> 00:09:20,873
Feh! Wah! Hooof! And again, feh!
180
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:22,875
- Oh.
- Huh.
181
00:09:22,942 --> 00:09:26,379
It's so sweet you're helping
the Book Guys become a family.
182
00:09:26,446 --> 00:09:28,548
I mean, without kids, come on,
183
00:09:28,614 --> 00:09:30,183
they're just dating with rings on.
184
00:09:31,584 --> 00:09:35,188
Oh, Marge, I love your takes.
185
00:09:35,254 --> 00:09:36,823
Ooh, model crypt.
186
00:09:36,889 --> 00:09:40,226
Fancy! Want to see
how the other half dies?
187
00:09:40,739 --> 00:09:42,228
Oh!
188
00:09:42,295 --> 00:09:44,430
We can return to our time
189
00:09:44,497 --> 00:09:46,566
if we can just get this paddle steamer
190
00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:48,568
up to 99 miles an hour.
191
00:09:48,634 --> 00:09:51,170
Is that relative to
the shore or the water?
192
00:09:51,237 --> 00:09:53,940
Great Steve, Mickey! I don't know!
193
00:09:54,006 --> 00:09:57,443
Golfer Aoki, four letters.
194
00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:58,544
"Isao."
195
00:09:58,611 --> 00:10:00,179
Hello? Hello?!
196
00:10:00,246 --> 00:10:02,381
The show is up there, not on your lap.
197
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:03,850
Look, I got to be honest.
I only like movies
198
00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:05,551
where Deadpool talks to the camera,
199
00:10:05,618 --> 00:10:07,353
so I'm watching Deadpool.
200
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,622
Okay, eyes up, TikToks!
201
00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:12,592
Tonight, you watch a screen
that is unswipeable!
202
00:10:19,098 --> 00:10:22,101
Premium sound system. Sweet.
203
00:10:24,537 --> 00:10:25,938
Honey, just think.
204
00:10:26,005 --> 00:10:27,440
Someday, you and I will be
205
00:10:27,507 --> 00:10:30,143
snuggling next to each
other for eternity.
206
00:10:30,209 --> 00:10:33,479
Oh, Homie,
I never thought about it that way.
207
00:10:36,849 --> 00:10:40,119
'Till death do each other.
208
00:10:42,388 --> 00:10:45,992
Rivers? Where we're going,
we don't need rivers.
209
00:10:55,468 --> 00:10:56,903
Yes, all right, you little trolls.
210
00:10:56,969 --> 00:10:59,572
If you must, tear the classic down
211
00:10:59,639 --> 00:11:02,508
with your snarky little remarks. Go.
212
00:11:02,575 --> 00:11:05,745
An emotionally satisfying ending.
213
00:11:05,811 --> 00:11:08,681
Are you sure this is an American movie?
214
00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:10,416
I can't believe it.
215
00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:12,585
I... cared what happened.
216
00:11:14,187 --> 00:11:16,689
Oh. What is that thrill I'm feeling?
217
00:11:16,756 --> 00:11:20,760
You are experiencing this
movie again for the first time,
218
00:11:20,826 --> 00:11:23,196
but through the eyes of children.
219
00:11:30,937 --> 00:11:34,073
Oh, Homie, that was so dangerous.
220
00:11:34,140 --> 00:11:36,409
I feel like Mrs. Dracula.
221
00:11:36,475 --> 00:11:38,311
I definitely had a...
222
00:11:38,377 --> 00:11:40,613
good evening.
223
00:11:41,647 --> 00:11:43,382
Hey, it's locked.
224
00:11:43,944 --> 00:11:45,218
Oh, no!
225
00:11:45,284 --> 00:11:47,887
We're trapped in a crypt full of...
226
00:11:47,954 --> 00:11:49,589
smooth jazz.
227
00:11:56,662 --> 00:11:58,431
Little known trivia:
228
00:11:58,497 --> 00:12:01,400
the time travel vehicle was
originally a tanning booth.
229
00:12:01,467 --> 00:12:04,270
- Whoa!
- That's crazy!
230
00:12:04,337 --> 00:12:06,772
The little ones love
your useless knowledge.
231
00:12:06,839 --> 00:12:10,276
Yes, my factoid will be
passed on for generations,
232
00:12:10,343 --> 00:12:13,346
and in that way, I will never truly die.
233
00:12:14,395 --> 00:12:16,349
You know, maybe I was wrong
234
00:12:16,415 --> 00:12:20,086
to dismiss the idea of children
so... so quickly.
235
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:21,787
Do you mean it?
236
00:12:21,854 --> 00:12:23,889
Hurry. Let's return these loaner kids
237
00:12:23,956 --> 00:12:27,260
and go home to make a mixed-race nerd.
238
00:12:27,326 --> 00:12:31,097
Hey, shouldn't Mom and Dad
be showing up about now?
239
00:12:32,531 --> 00:12:36,035
Mom? Dad? Where are you?!
240
00:12:36,102 --> 00:12:38,404
We are in a cemetery,
241
00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:40,573
so maybe they were attacked by zombies.
242
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,276
Stop it! Stop saying that!
243
00:12:43,342 --> 00:12:44,877
Our parents are undead.
244
00:12:44,944 --> 00:12:47,246
Dad will eat your head.
245
00:12:53,386 --> 00:12:55,554
Let us out!
246
00:12:55,621 --> 00:12:59,037
Great Steve! They are zombies!
247
00:13:05,231 --> 00:13:07,400
They demand... emotional support.
248
00:13:07,466 --> 00:13:08,901
You can do it.
249
00:13:08,968 --> 00:13:10,403
Give them comfort.
250
00:13:12,104 --> 00:13:14,907
Must... act like... loving father.
251
00:13:15,975 --> 00:13:17,643
I flee.
252
00:13:21,113 --> 00:13:23,449
But you caved!
253
00:13:25,685 --> 00:13:29,422
Mom! Dad! You're okay!
254
00:13:29,488 --> 00:13:30,723
Hey, where'd the dork go?
255
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:32,758
Your children's emotional needs
256
00:13:32,825 --> 00:13:34,260
have pushed him away.
257
00:13:34,327 --> 00:13:37,363
If I know him, and I don't,
258
00:13:37,430 --> 00:13:39,098
I'm sure he'll be back.
259
00:13:39,165 --> 00:13:43,502
No. He has run to a place
where there is no hope.
260
00:13:49,642 --> 00:13:52,278
I have returned. Forever.
261
00:13:52,345 --> 00:13:55,614
Your room is unchanged...
as are your sheets.
262
00:14:01,835 --> 00:14:04,984
So... your husband ran
away to his childhood home,
263
00:14:05,131 --> 00:14:06,800
leaving you alone.
264
00:14:06,866 --> 00:14:09,556
Maybe forever. Also, childless.
265
00:14:10,527 --> 00:14:12,372
I'm sure you're experiencing
266
00:14:12,439 --> 00:14:14,574
a lot of feelings right now.
267
00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:16,609
It's okay to let them out.
268
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:21,981
I hate you, you shameless womb tease!
269
00:14:22,048 --> 00:14:23,917
You're like a baby drug dealer!
270
00:14:23,983 --> 00:14:27,120
You give me a taste, and now I'm hooked!
271
00:14:27,187 --> 00:14:28,922
This is on you, too!
272
00:14:28,988 --> 00:14:31,758
You've crushed my only
chance at happiness,
273
00:14:31,825 --> 00:14:34,394
you ape-faced cheeseburger goblin!
274
00:14:36,996 --> 00:14:38,431
Make this right.
275
00:14:38,498 --> 00:14:40,500
Bring back my husband!
276
00:14:47,563 --> 00:14:50,143
Whoa. So this is where
Comic Book Guy grew up.
277
00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:54,237
We'll finally see what kind of
"its" created a "that."
278
00:14:57,016 --> 00:15:01,187
Ah, you must be delivering my
1912 Polish coronation stamp.
279
00:15:01,254 --> 00:15:02,889
Actually, we're looking for someone
280
00:15:02,956 --> 00:15:04,924
we call "Comic Book Guy."
281
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:08,728
Enter. My son is in here... somewhere.
282
00:15:08,795 --> 00:15:11,931
Oh, well, thank you, Mr., uh...
283
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:15,135
You may refer to me as
"Postage Stamp Fellow."
284
00:15:18,972 --> 00:15:21,207
What is this crazy place?
285
00:15:24,482 --> 00:15:26,678
_
286
00:15:26,679 --> 00:15:28,114
This crazy place
287
00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:29,816
is Comic Book Guy's childhood home.
288
00:15:29,883 --> 00:15:31,885
An only child, he grew up surrounded
289
00:15:31,951 --> 00:15:35,822
by an eccentric extended family
of childless aunts and uncles.
290
00:15:35,889 --> 00:15:39,125
However, his family poured their
love into their collections,
291
00:15:39,192 --> 00:15:43,164
instead of into the lonely
little boy wandering the halls.
292
00:15:43,199 --> 00:15:46,332
His aunt collected taxidermized
chestnut-tailed starlings,
293
00:15:46,399 --> 00:15:49,569
causing her to form a tacit
alliance with her twin brother,
294
00:15:49,636 --> 00:15:51,838
who collected brutalist birdhouses.
295
00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:55,775
His great step-uncle,
296
00:15:55,842 --> 00:15:58,178
who had once had his heart
broken by a meter maid,
297
00:15:58,244 --> 00:16:01,781
was a gatherer of discredited
obstetric equipment,
298
00:16:01,848 --> 00:16:03,416
while his younger dowager aunt
299
00:16:03,483 --> 00:16:05,919
collected antique Chinese cricket boxes
300
00:16:05,985 --> 00:16:07,620
and filled them with live crickets,
301
00:16:07,687 --> 00:16:09,789
who frequently escaped.
302
00:16:10,497 --> 00:16:11,524
The only thing of value
303
00:16:11,591 --> 00:16:14,794
the family did not display
in the home was love.
304
00:16:14,861 --> 00:16:17,430
And the love he sought most
was that of his father,
305
00:16:17,497 --> 00:16:20,433
who spent his days as
an avid philatelist.
306
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:23,364
_
307
00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:40,853
Mint. Mint. Near mint. Very fine.
308
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,489
Hi, um, there.
309
00:16:43,556 --> 00:16:47,026
Maybe you might feel better
if you came home with us?
310
00:16:47,092 --> 00:16:48,661
I am home. From now on,
311
00:16:48,727 --> 00:16:51,330
my only companion is my
comic book collection.
312
00:16:51,397 --> 00:16:53,365
Mint. Mint. Near mint.
313
00:16:53,432 --> 00:16:55,434
Gem mint. Mint. Mint...
314
00:16:55,501 --> 00:16:58,270
- Look at the sad little boy.
- Mint. Mint. Mint. Mint.
315
00:16:58,337 --> 00:17:00,906
- Is that you?
- Mint. Mint.
316
00:17:00,973 --> 00:17:03,509
Worst... day... ever!
317
00:17:03,576 --> 00:17:07,279
There's got to be more to this story.
318
00:17:07,346 --> 00:17:09,014
There was more to this story.
319
00:17:09,015 --> 00:17:10,815
_
320
00:17:10,850 --> 00:17:14,186
Without anyone to play with,
the lonely boy turned to baseball.
321
00:17:14,253 --> 00:17:16,288
His favorite pitcher was Sandy Koufax,
322
00:17:16,355 --> 00:17:19,391
and he perfected a curveball
of rare devastation.
323
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:22,995
However, his team
would never give him a chance.
324
00:17:23,062 --> 00:17:24,997
But on the day before the big game,
325
00:17:25,064 --> 00:17:28,000
all the starting pitchers were
injured in a multi-canoe pile-up
326
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:31,804
caused by the sighting of an
unusually large lake sturgeon.
327
00:17:31,805 --> 00:17:33,405
_
328
00:17:33,939 --> 00:17:36,141
He got the call to pitch.
329
00:17:36,208 --> 00:17:38,310
His dearest hope was that
his father would finally see
330
00:17:38,377 --> 00:17:40,579
his masterful curveball in action.
331
00:17:40,646 --> 00:17:43,382
But during the biggest
moment of his young life,
332
00:17:43,449 --> 00:17:46,585
his dad was nowhere to be seen.
333
00:18:10,676 --> 00:18:12,378
He escaped his sadness
334
00:18:12,444 --> 00:18:15,881
into a world of heroes,
villains and Jugheads.
335
00:18:19,051 --> 00:18:22,788
In that moment, he became more
than a boy but less than a man.
336
00:18:24,123 --> 00:18:26,592
He became Comic Book Guy.
337
00:18:28,227 --> 00:18:30,362
Marge then confronted
Postage Stamp Fellow
338
00:18:30,429 --> 00:18:33,332
about this life-changing
incident with his son.
339
00:18:33,399 --> 00:18:35,434
What? Oh. Okay.
340
00:18:38,304 --> 00:18:41,473
Why weren't you there for
your son when he needed you?
341
00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,176
This is not a family to
rummage through the past.
342
00:18:44,825 --> 00:18:46,078
Emotionally.
343
00:18:46,145 --> 00:18:49,148
You tell me why you didn't go
to your son's baseball game,
344
00:18:49,214 --> 00:18:50,549
or I'll lick it.
345
00:18:50,616 --> 00:18:52,217
My Inverted Dendermonde?
346
00:18:52,284 --> 00:18:53,585
You wouldn't dare!
347
00:18:55,387 --> 00:18:56,655
All right, all right! I'll tell you!
348
00:18:56,722 --> 00:18:58,757
I was buying him that.
349
00:19:01,927 --> 00:19:04,363
Go ahead. Tell him.
350
00:19:05,216 --> 00:19:06,332
I didn't go to your game,
351
00:19:06,398 --> 00:19:08,334
because I was afraid if you lost,
352
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,803
I wouldn't know how to comfort you.
353
00:19:10,869 --> 00:19:13,372
So I supported you
the only way I knew how.
354
00:19:13,439 --> 00:19:15,140
I purchased you a collectible.
355
00:19:15,207 --> 00:19:17,176
Which I never had the heart to give you.
356
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:19,979
- Until now.
- Sandy Koufax,
357
00:19:20,045 --> 00:19:22,147
the left arm of God!
358
00:19:22,214 --> 00:19:25,317
Son, perhaps we should do
something we've never done.
359
00:19:25,384 --> 00:19:26,852
Have a catch?
360
00:19:26,919 --> 00:19:28,787
I think I would like that.
361
00:19:31,056 --> 00:19:32,624
- Ow!
- Ow!
362
00:19:32,691 --> 00:19:34,526
- Ow!
- Ow!
363
00:19:34,593 --> 00:19:38,497
Everyone,
my son and I are having a catch.
364
00:19:38,564 --> 00:19:41,600
Love was finally on display.
365
00:19:42,601 --> 00:19:44,236
- Ow.
- Ow.
366
00:19:44,303 --> 00:19:49,141
Well, maybe Comic Book Guy won't
be so afraid to be a father.
367
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:52,411
Sucker.
368
00:19:55,748 --> 00:19:58,384
Wife, I have returned... healed!
369
00:19:58,450 --> 00:20:01,353
I am now... Changed Better Guy.
370
00:20:02,052 --> 00:20:04,156
My ultimate fantasy.
371
00:20:04,223 --> 00:20:08,060
Mr. Beaver from The Lion,
the Witch and the Wardrobe.
372
00:20:08,127 --> 00:20:10,596
You are ready to make a baby.
373
00:20:36,155 --> 00:20:38,557
* Poor old Granddad *
374
00:20:38,624 --> 00:20:41,794
* I laughed at all his words *
375
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:45,197
* I thought he was a bitter man *
376
00:20:45,264 --> 00:20:48,196
* He spoke of women's ways... *
377
00:20:50,731 --> 00:20:54,039
* They trap you and they use you *
378
00:20:54,106 --> 00:20:57,242
* Before you even know *
379
00:20:57,309 --> 00:21:00,045
* But love is blind and
you're far too kind *
380
00:21:00,112 --> 00:21:03,248
* Don't ever let it show *
381
00:21:03,315 --> 00:21:08,053
* I wish that I knew
what I know now *
382
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,155
* When I was younger *
383
00:21:10,222 --> 00:21:14,426
* I wish that I knew
what I know now *
384
00:21:14,493 --> 00:21:16,328
* When I was stronger *
385
00:21:16,395 --> 00:21:19,164
* The can-can's
such a pretty show *
386
00:21:19,231 --> 00:21:22,401
* Will steal your heart away *
387
00:21:22,468 --> 00:21:26,171
* But backstage back
on Earth again *
388
00:21:26,238 --> 00:21:28,774
* The dressing rooms are gray *
389
00:21:28,841 --> 00:21:31,176
* They come on strong
and it ain't too... *
27949
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