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1
00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,047
.
2
00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:05,396
- Grass. Reefer.
3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,399
Jazz cigarettes.
Jamaican caviar.
4
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:12,186
Whatever you call it, legalized
marijuana is here to stay.
5
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,665
- Did you not review
his remarks beforehand?
6
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,102
- I wrote them.
7
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,364
I looked up all the slang
on my church's website.
8
00:00:16,407 --> 00:00:19,193
- Today, the legal
marijuana business
9
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:21,499
is a financial boon
to our city.
10
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:24,067
So I am proud to be here
at the grand opening
11
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:26,417
of L.A.'s 10,000th dispensary.
12
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:29,072
[scattered applause]
You ready, L.A.?
13
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:33,076
Go...buy drugs now!
14
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,035
- He improv'd that.
15
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:38,995
[uplifting music]
16
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:46,350
♪
17
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,353
- At 10:00, we go to
Alf Junior High School,
18
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,834
which he named after
Alf from the show "Alf."
19
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:53,183
So much history in this city.
20
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:54,663
- It's a photo op
21
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,056
for the Meatless Monday
school lunch initiative.
22
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:57,361
- Yeah, should bea total lay-up.
23
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,407
- We just don't want
to get meme-ed.
24
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:01,583
You know,
the funny internet photos?
25
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:03,585
- Oh, like the one
with the happy baby,
26
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,891
and underneath it says,
"When you hit the fairway."
27
00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:09,547
It's funny because how would
the baby know, right?
28
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:11,723
- That's hilarious, sir,
but as a public figure,
29
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,377
you don't want
to become a funny picture.
30
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:14,596
- Okay.
- That's why we avoid
31
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:17,468
bathing suits,
dancing at a cultural day,
32
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,383
and, above all,
eating on camera.
33
00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,211
- Got it, no eating.
- After Meatless Mondays,
34
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:24,127
we go to El Segundoto open up a community center.
35
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,086
And I figure we caneat in the car.
36
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,609
It's my turn to pick,and I pick tacos.
37
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,089
- In the car, Jayden?
- Tacos is a terrible car food.
38
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:30,264
- I pick tacos!
39
00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:31,830
- Okay.
- After that, we go to
40
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:34,833
Tujunga to judge
a Cutest Grandpa competition.
41
00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:36,226
That sounds fun.
- A what?
42
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:37,880
- No, I'm the mayor.
43
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,838
I shouldn't be spending my day
going to a ceremony
44
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:43,668
celebrating zero deaths
at Six Flags this summer.
45
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,540
- Oh, no, they actually
canceled that this morning.
46
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,933
They checked the bushes.
- Now, what I'm saying is
47
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:51,241
we have real problems here--
homelessness, infrastructure.
48
00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:52,764
- The Oscar host situation.
49
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:54,418
God, that group thing
does not work.
50
00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:56,942
- These photo ops
and canned speeches--
51
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:59,510
it's just pointless.
I want to do something.
52
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:02,818
Let's fix the traffic problem.
Build a subway.
53
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,733
- L.A. has a subway, sir.
54
00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,169
- Well, it stinks.
55
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,214
- Hey.
- What?
56
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,172
- I hate my job too.
57
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,695
But you know
how I get through the day?
58
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,262
- We all knowhow you get through your day.
59
00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:14,873
- This is what change
looks like.
60
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:18,442
I am the first woman of color
without a master's degree
61
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:20,140
to serve as chief of staff.
62
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,881
Hashtag progress,
hashtag one filter.
63
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:24,840
My first act as "the boss"--
64
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,321
changing the code
on the executive bathroom
65
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:30,237
to the birthday
of a feminist icon.
66
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,673
Katniss Everdeen.
67
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:35,198
Hey, I'm not perfect.
My nails are chipped.
68
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,026
I get UTIs.
69
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:39,594
My car is filthy.
70
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,335
[rapid beeping]
Oh!
71
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:44,338
Hey guys.
I mean, good morning, sir.
72
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:45,817
- Good morning.
Apparently, I'm not
73
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:47,732
gonna be in the office
at all today
74
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:51,475
because being mayor is 90%
photo ops and animal funerals.
75
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:53,390
- Not just any animal.Dog with a Blog.
76
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,176
- So I'm putting you
in charge today, Mikaela,
77
00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:58,134
and you have one job--
78
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,136
babysit Arpi Meskimen.
79
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,399
Keep your friends close
but keep your enemies closer.
80
00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:04,662
- That's why I'm
so nice to my sister's baby.
81
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:06,664
- I don't trust
the deputy mayor,
82
00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,492
so keep her distracted, okay?
83
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,494
- I'll be cigarette lighter.
She'll be my sister's baby.
84
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,409
- Thank you Mikaela.
85
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:14,324
[phone beeps]
86
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,021
I'm not saying this
about a dog.
87
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:17,240
- I'll show you a picture, sir.
88
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,676
For a dog he was pretty hot,
89
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,201
and for a blogger,
he was very hot.
90
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,377
- This is my office.
91
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,248
Still got
a lot of work to do.
92
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,641
- I heard
you wanted to see me.
93
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:28,251
- [gasps]
- I'd been hoping
94
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,339
to get a minute
with you as well.
95
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,732
I'd love to show you
"Pee-pee porn."
96
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,691
- Ew, no.
Wait, is that sex negative?
97
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:36,216
- It's an acronym
for Private Plane Paths
98
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,695
Over Residential Neighborhoods.
99
00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:40,437
I been working on this
ever since the Richie-Riches
100
00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:43,266
in Santa Monica got the FAA
to ban private jets
101
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,225
at their airport
because of noise pollution.
102
00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:46,704
The problem is,
103
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:49,229
now Van Nuys airport
is getting twice the traffic,
104
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,579
which means twice the noise
over poorer neighborhoods.
105
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:53,711
And it's really affecting
the kids there.
106
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,497
I mean, did you see this year's
L.A. County Spelling Bee?
107
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,934
- Your word is syzygy.
108
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:01,197
- What?
- Syzygy.
109
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,416
- What?
110
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,418
- Syzygy!
- What?
111
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,768
- Mm.
- I'd love...to take PPPORN
112
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:09,205
to the Council
with Mayor Bremer's support.
113
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,555
And since he's out,
his [ahem]
114
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:14,079
chief of staff
is the boss.
115
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,168
So, boss...
116
00:04:16,212 --> 00:04:20,695
- Arpi, obviously,
PPPORN is worth looking at,
117
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:23,611
but it's not going to be
our priority today.
118
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:26,614
- Fair enough.
So what is?
119
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:29,138
- Um...today, I was thinking
120
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:32,881
that we could all settle in,
set up our offices.
121
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:35,405
I'm sure you have a lot
of unpacking to do.
122
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:37,712
- No, I asked them
to not give me an office.
123
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,714
This is all of the desk I need.
124
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,846
Inbox, outbox, pepper spray,
125
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,371
trail mix,
and a David Baldacci novel
126
00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,416
for red lights
while I'm on my bicycle.
127
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,852
- Well, as you can see,
128
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,506
my office still needs
a lot of work.
129
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:51,595
- I get it.
Optics are important.
130
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,423
You're the chief of
frickin' staff.
131
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:54,772
You got
the cherry parking spot
132
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,034
and the code to
the good bathroom.
133
00:04:56,078 --> 00:04:58,036
You need an office space
that reflects that.
134
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,908
So how can I help?
135
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:03,607
- Okay, great.
Well, I got some magazines.
136
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:05,043
- Looking for ideas.
Smart.
137
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:06,871
- I was going
to make a vision board.
138
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,438
- See it all together.
Find a theme.
139
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,005
- But I couldn't
find any tape.
140
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,224
- Well, then let's
get you some tape.
141
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,444
To the supply closet, boss.
142
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,620
- [small laugh]
143
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,230
- Why am I
sitting in traffic?
144
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,928
Where's my police escort?
145
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,625
- Okay, so I did order
a police escort
146
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,627
off of the internet,
but when she showed up,
147
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:24,889
she was a stripper.
[phone buzzes]
148
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,413
So I told her to go home,
and she said,
149
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:27,849
"I don't have a home,"
so I said, "Come live with me."
150
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,894
- Hey, sweetheart.
- We watched your press
151
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:32,157
conference this morning
in civics--we're doing a unit
152
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:35,683
on the boomer generation's
failure and hypocrisy.
153
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:37,380
Like how a certain
powerful boomer
154
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,600
wouldn't let me buy
a CBD mud mask,
155
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,384
but this morning
he told the whole city
156
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:42,951
to go and buy drugs.
157
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:45,780
- Okay, all right, look,
that was the mayor talking.
158
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:49,827
Cannabis is legal for adults.
You're 15, Orly.
159
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,351
- You do know
that legalization
160
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,788
is racist and classist,
right?
161
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,833
A lot of marginalized
communities
162
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:58,358
depend on the illicit drug
trade to live.
163
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:02,187
The poor, surfers, DJs
with crushing DJ school debt.
164
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:05,452
- You are so smart.
I'm so proud of you.
165
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,844
[beep]
166
00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:10,021
- Ooh, sir,
we are back on for Six Flags.
167
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:11,632
That body they found
turned out to be
168
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:12,763
a very realistic sex doll.
169
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:15,331
- And we're celebrating that?
170
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,246
Really?
171
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,596
Yes. Jared, yes!
172
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,512
That was the best Spider-Man.
Yeah!
173
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:23,948
- Someone's mood has improved.
174
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:25,515
- Yeah, I had
a couple pudding cups.
175
00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:28,039
- That's a very cool blouse.
176
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:31,521
[laughs]
Wait, that was just a heart.
177
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,131
And now it's a soccer ball?
178
00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:35,046
Are you kidding me, Chloe R.?
179
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,005
Did you--
Oh, yeah.
180
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,310
- Okay, let's just
get this over with.
181
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,834
Okay, everybody.
182
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:43,359
- Sir, sir, remember.
Don't eat.
183
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,361
- Whisper,
whisper, whisper.
184
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,058
- So "meatless Mondays"
on three!
185
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,886
One, two--
186
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,106
- Oh my God, what is he doing?
187
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:53,325
Is he rolling it up,
tip to crust?
188
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:56,285
- No, no, please don't eat it.
- Don't eat it, don't eat it,
189
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:59,897
Don't eat it! Oh!
- Oh!
190
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,551
- Sir.
191
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,076
- [muffled] Meatless Monday.
[laughing]
192
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,252
I have so much food
in my mouth.
193
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,645
I couldn't say it.
194
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:10,299
.
195
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,823
- Shoot.
Looks like we're out of tape.
196
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:14,782
This tends to happen towards
the end of the fiscal year.
197
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,479
- We run out of tape?
198
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,698
- City government, boss.
199
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,527
It ain't Google
with their free breakfasts
200
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:24,095
and meditation rooms,
and all the tape in the world.
201
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:26,054
- Well, I guess
we could go buy some.
202
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:28,665
- Or we make like
government workers
203
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,188
and get resourceful.
204
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:31,799
This is an opportunity
for you to learn
205
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,975
how things get done
around here, ma'am.
206
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:35,542
Let me show you the ropes.
207
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:38,240
- Well, I don't want
to waste your whole day.
208
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,937
- Waste?
Hey, I'm here to help you.
209
00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:42,287
And I know a guy
who might just have some tape.
210
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:45,290
Double sided.
The good stuff.
211
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:48,250
- I'm not sure why you think
I'd have double-sided tape.
212
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,078
I'm just a normal guy.
213
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:54,561
- Well, sorry
to waste your time, Herb.
214
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:55,997
Let's go, Ms. Shaw.
215
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,826
- However,
perhaps I could find some.
216
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:02,133
I don't know where,
just off the top of my head.
217
00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:05,441
I mean, not there.
[laughing] What?
218
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,270
But you need
to do me a favor first.
219
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:09,880
- I'm not letting you
draw me again.
220
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:13,231
- My council parking
placard was revoked recently.
221
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:14,537
Yes, I parked at a fire hydrant
222
00:08:14,581 --> 00:08:16,496
so I could run into
the drugstore,
223
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:19,629
but that's only because
if my mistress gets pregnant,
224
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,936
that would affect
my work for the city.
225
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,764
- Preaching to the choir,
Councilman.
226
00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:27,768
- So if you could arrange
for the return of my placard,
227
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:30,074
I might just be able
to secure
228
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:32,947
some very sticky tape for you.
229
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,383
[Bremer laughing]
230
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,038
- We've been meme'd.
Hard.
231
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:39,475
- You just got a targeted ad
for a pillow with a heartbeat?
232
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,737
- Okay, that's private, Tommy.
233
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,522
- Well, do you think
I wanted to see it?
234
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,436
- You guys,
I'm loving the banter.
235
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,004
- Sir, why did you
do that with the pizza?
236
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:49,224
- Why are you guys so serious?
237
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,443
I'm in a good mood now.
238
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:54,621
- Oh my God.
- Wink.
239
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:56,448
- Wait, Mr. Mayor,
back at the weed dispensary--
240
00:08:56,492 --> 00:08:59,843
- I got a bear.
Then I ate a bear.
241
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,541
[imitates explosion]
Puhhh!
242
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,934
- Hey, I just want to say,
it was really cool
243
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:07,459
meeting someone as tall as you,
so feel free to partake.
244
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:09,070
- I haven't smoked in years.
245
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:11,899
- You don't have
to smoke, man.
246
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:14,510
They're edibles,
you just eat them.
247
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,730
An hour later, you'll forget
all about the backstabbing
248
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:18,645
in the unicycle community.
249
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:20,472
- [chuckles softly]
250
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,605
It would've been rude
if I'd said no.
251
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:24,738
- But you didn't need
to actually eat one of them.
252
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,391
- Yes, I did.
253
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:29,786
'Cause you guys keep dragging
me all over town for nothing.
254
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,309
So yeah.
255
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,877
Oh, come on.
It was just a couple of bears.
256
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,662
Whoever got hurt by bears?
257
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,272
- Well, when my aunt
was having her
258
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:39,100
last-ever period,
she went to the woods--
259
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,363
- Sir, what do you mean,
a couple of bears?
260
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,539
- Shh-shh, Tommy will get mad.
261
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:47,369
[laughs] Oh wait, I just--
I did that--
262
00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:48,631
[laughs]
263
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,808
- It's funny you ask
about placards, Arpi.
264
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,550
Because my brother-in-law
is the DOT liaison
265
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,379
with the L.A.P.D.
traffic coordination section.
266
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,903
- Huh.
What do you know?
267
00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:03,167
And hey, if there's anything
the chief of staff
268
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,300
and I can do in return...
269
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,258
- Look, the mayor's office
270
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:09,260
issues an official proclamation
271
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:11,393
for pretty much
every day of the year.
272
00:10:11,436 --> 00:10:12,568
- Yes, sir, today I believe
273
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,223
is Ugly Nanny Day
here in Los Angeles.
274
00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:17,138
- Well, my twin daughters--
275
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:19,401
- Cameron and Sophie.
Lovely girls.
276
00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:21,621
- Well, thank you.
They turn 16 in May.
277
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:24,319
My ex-wife's new husband
works for Disney.
278
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:27,017
So every birthday,
I get my ass handed to me.
279
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:29,585
Last year,
they got to melt Olaf.
280
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,108
- Divorce is
toughest on the dads.
281
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,763
- But this year,
I'm going to bury Kevin.
282
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:35,591
I want the twins' birthdays,
283
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,420
May 5th, to be declared
Sophie and Cameron Higbee day.
284
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,465
- Well, that's something
285
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,946
the mayor's office
would have to approve.
286
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,687
- Absolutely.
287
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,515
Arpi, why don't we spend
the afternoon
288
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:49,300
getting the proc language
just right.
289
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:51,694
Frank, tell us
about your daughters.
290
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,261
- Wonderful.
291
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,524
For starters,
the divorce was their fault.
292
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:57,700
- That's one hell
of a proclamation.
293
00:10:57,744 --> 00:11:01,661
Now, let's get the mayor's
Jane Hancock on this.
294
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:04,054
Feminism.
295
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,752
- Look, I don't
want this to take
296
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:09,103
any longer than it needs to,
but before we use the AutoPen,
297
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,018
I should probably
call the mayor.
298
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,281
- Sure thing.
Due diligence.
299
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:15,544
I'll just be over here
doing my stretches.
300
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:19,679
[phone rings]
301
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:22,290
- Guys, guys, guys.
It's Mikaela from work.
302
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,901
Act like we're not high.
303
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:27,295
Hello, Officer.
- Sir, it's Mikaela.
304
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:29,645
I just wanted to let you
know that Arpi and I-
305
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,300
- Hello, sir.
- Have been together all day--
306
00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:33,693
- Haven't even bathroomed.
307
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,346
- And right now,
we were wondering
308
00:11:35,390 --> 00:11:37,958
if we can maybe use
the AutoPen to make
309
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,743
next May 5th Sophie
and Cameron Higbee Day?
310
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:44,007
- That sounds amazing.
Hey. We should meet up.
311
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:46,531
Wherever we are in our lives,
we should be together
312
00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:49,273
for Sophie
and Cameron Higbee Day.
313
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,319
Okay? Love you.
314
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,586
- Sir, maybe we should go ahead
and cancel our next stop.
315
00:11:57,629 --> 00:12:00,502
- No, no, no, come on.
Look at me. I can maintain.
316
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:04,854
I've been maintaining
on real pot since--
317
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,334
since before your parents
318
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:07,901
even thought about
having a child.
319
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:10,468
- Thought about?
I was an accident, sir.
320
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:12,122
- Mr. Mayor,
I'm not a drug expert.
321
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,429
But according to a "Fresh Air"
interview with Calvin Broadus,
322
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:18,389
aka Snoop Dogg, quote,
"That bleep be strong now.
323
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:21,305
Your body be like, what?
That bleep go hard."
324
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,046
It's not like
it was in the '70s, sir.
325
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,613
- Tommy, I'm good.
326
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:27,181
I'm actually enjoying
this boring pointless day now.
327
00:12:27,224 --> 00:12:29,487
In fact,
what's next on my schedule?
328
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:32,795
Opening a community center.
That's going to be fun.
329
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:35,929
Really. Pot almost never
makes me paranoid.
330
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,540
- And helping Mayor Bremer
cut the ribbon today,
331
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,761
the L.A. King's mascot,
Bailey the Lion.
332
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:44,546
[theme music]
333
00:12:44,589 --> 00:12:46,287
What the hell is that thing?
334
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,723
♪
335
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,420
It can fly?
336
00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:54,208
Get the--get--
He's got two swords.
337
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:56,123
[grunting]
338
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,994
- Oh, no, no.
- No, no, no--
339
00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:00,040
- Fly back to hell!
340
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,433
[crowd oohs]
341
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:05,045
What?
What are you looking at?
342
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,568
No!
343
00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:08,178
.
344
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:10,833
- May 5, 2021
is now officially
345
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:13,140
Sophie and Cameron Higbee Day.
346
00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,837
- Now, the one little hiccup
347
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:18,841
is that May 5th
is also Cinco de Mayo.
348
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:21,539
And the Mexican community
understandably expects
349
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:24,281
the proclamation for that day
to be honoring them.
350
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,761
- I see.
351
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,242
So if the girls are going
to get their proclamation...
352
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,852
- We have to move
Cinco de Mayo.
353
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,855
- Sounds time consuming
and probably impossible.
354
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,552
Let's do it.
355
00:13:34,596 --> 00:13:36,859
- That's the City Hall spirit.
356
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,121
Andale!
357
00:13:39,209 --> 00:13:42,865
- You want me to
move Cinco de Mayo.
358
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,867
- Ocho de Mayo
is wide open, Maria.
359
00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:48,175
- Look, I would be willing
360
00:13:48,218 --> 00:13:50,830
to make some calls
on your behalf, if...
361
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,745
- Ah! I love that word.
Go on.
362
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:57,227
- Are you aware of
the bathroom situation up here?
363
00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,969
Besides me, this floor houses
the Mayor's Commission
364
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,753
on Gender Equity and Brunch,
365
00:14:01,797 --> 00:14:04,017
the Health Department's Office
for Yogurt Safety,
366
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,889
and someone rented space
to an Ann Taylor Loft.
367
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:10,284
It's all women.
With one bathroom.
368
00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,374
I can't take it.
369
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:15,898
Sometimes people just leave
their tights in there.
370
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:19,467
Why? What happened to them?
371
00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:24,385
- I think we can help you,
Councilwoman.
372
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:34,612
[energetic music]
373
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:41,576
♪
374
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:57,897
- Let's see. Tape, right?
Do I have any tape?
375
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:02,162
Tape. Tape, tape.
376
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,859
[buzzing]
That's not tape.
377
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,556
[chuckles]
378
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,559
Tape, tape--here we go.
379
00:15:08,603 --> 00:15:11,432
Regular old tape.
380
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:18,091
[dialogue not audible]
381
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:24,445
- Why is the sun
following us?
382
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:25,925
- This is bad.
383
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:28,057
We cannot cancel
our next meeting.
384
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:30,016
It's a work safety forum
with local 300,
385
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,148
and you do not stand up
the construction unions.
386
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,497
- But the good news, sir,
387
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:35,021
is at least your current
state of mind
388
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,500
is appropriate for this.
389
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:39,155
All you really need to do
is listen and act concerned.
390
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:42,158
- I am concerned.
About everything.
391
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:45,335
I mean, this dumb day
should have been easy as pie.
392
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,251
But everything's all goofed.
Goofed.
393
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:50,514
- Okay, let's use that.
394
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:52,386
Let's say
I'm a construction worker.
395
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:53,996
And I'm telling you
how worried I am
396
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,868
about unsafe scaffolding
around business sites.
397
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,567
- Oh, that's awful.
Those poor sites.
398
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:00,655
- Oh, good, good, good.
399
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,092
It's my turn.
It's Bob's birthday.
400
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,876
While he helps Farmer Pickles,
401
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,791
let's plan a surprise party.
402
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,184
- Was that Bob the Builder?
403
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,446
- I'm just doing
what you're doing.
404
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:12,145
- Oh, God I forgot
Bob's birthday.
405
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,669
[light music]
406
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:17,193
This is all very concerning.
407
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:19,587
I do not like this.
408
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:24,026
Oh, you poor, poor man.
Are you Bob?
409
00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,723
- My name is Manny Petty, sir.
- Oh.
410
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,029
- I was working
with unlabeled chemicals--
411
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:29,553
- Your name is what?
- Manny Petty.
412
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:31,686
My hands and feet got
burned when I was working--
413
00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:34,515
- [laughs]
414
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:37,039
Of course,
your hands and feet--
415
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:39,868
You're Manny Petty!
416
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:43,698
Hey, his name is Manny Petty.
417
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,221
And look what got hurt!
418
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,267
Oh, my God,
you're so funny.
419
00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:48,964
[laughing]
[commotion]
420
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:54,274
.
421
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:57,277
- Looking good.
We did it, boss.
422
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,366
- Yeah, but I feel bad.
423
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:00,802
I wasted
your whole day on this.
424
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:04,197
- How much do you charge
for babysitting anyway?
425
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,242
- I'm sorry, what?
426
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:07,983
- You babysat me all day.
That was your job, right?
427
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,116
- [laughs] I-I--
428
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,031
I don't even know
what you're talking about.
429
00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,597
- Oh, save it.
430
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,947
If the mayor didn't
ask you to keep an eye on me,
431
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:18,254
he's even dumber
than I thought.
432
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:20,822
- Fine.
Well, it worked, didn't it?
433
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:23,825
I kept you busy all day.
434
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:25,218
- Is that what you think
happened?
435
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,742
- Mm-hmm.
- That's real cute.
436
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:31,963
'Cause all anyone else saw was
me helping the chief of staff,
437
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:33,487
the woman who speaks
for the mayor.
438
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:34,836
- Mm-hmm.
439
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,751
- And since Arpi Meskimen
does not waste her time,
440
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,145
they know I'm getting
something in return.
441
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:42,452
What have I been trying
to make happen for months?
442
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:46,108
[dramatic classical music]
443
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:53,202
♪
444
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,294
PPPORN.
445
00:17:58,338 --> 00:17:59,469
- Wait, so you're telling me
446
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,254
that everyone
we talked to today,
447
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,734
they all think that
the mayor supports PPPORN?
448
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:06,085
- Herb, Frank, Maria.
They were the three hold-outs
449
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:08,348
keeping PPPORN
from passing the council,
450
00:18:08,391 --> 00:18:10,611
but all three have pledged
their support
451
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:13,396
now that the mayor
is so obviously onboard.
452
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,660
Now who's the baby, Ms. Shaw?
453
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:19,663
Yeah. You going to want
to say goo-goo-gah-gah.
454
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,404
- I'll tell the mayor.
455
00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:22,797
- Let's think about that
for a second.
456
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,713
You're gonna tell your boss
that the first time
457
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:29,369
he left you alone here,
you got played like a garawon?
458
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:33,286
That's a traditional Honduran
drum I play at night to relax.
459
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,636
Look, It's not so bad.
460
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:38,378
PPPORN is the right
thing to do.
461
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:41,250
- Oh.
- Take the win.
462
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:43,513
Go home.
Open a bag of wine.
463
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:47,082
And wake up,
ready for another big day.
464
00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:49,998
I told you this morning
I was going to show you
465
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,174
how things worked around here.
466
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,220
So you're welcome, boss.
467
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:55,699
[light music]
468
00:18:55,743 --> 00:18:58,311
- [sighs]
469
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,443
[indistinct chatter]
470
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:07,189
- Oh, damn it.
- How was your day, Mr. Mayor?
471
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,364
- What are you doing here?
472
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:10,714
- You're on my way home.
473
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:14,544
I head down Highland
before I bike onto the freeway.
474
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:17,199
- Arpi, I've had a rough day.
475
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:20,463
- So I heard.
But all that dumb stuff today?
476
00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:22,683
People showed up 'cause
you were going to be there.
477
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:25,294
- And I made
Manny Petty's wife cry.
478
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:26,600
- Manny Petty?
479
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,167
- Mm.
- That's hilarious.
480
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,691
[both laughing]
481
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,259
- I get it, I get it.
482
00:19:33,302 --> 00:19:35,652
I just want to do
all the shiny stuff,
483
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:36,958
be a hero.
484
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:39,221
But I'm the mayor.
485
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:43,486
And all that dumb stuff
matters to someone.
486
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:48,230
- Now, those people
487
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,667
are going to be expecting
a statement.
488
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,800
And I'm not looking
to help you,
489
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,932
but if you don't want
to talk about
490
00:19:54,976 --> 00:19:57,805
how you fell into
an open dog grave today...
491
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:01,591
Mikaela signed off on it.
492
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:04,246
- What?
493
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,422
I'm changing the name.
494
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:11,427
Which is why I'm proud
to announce a new initiative--
495
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:15,083
Rerouting air traffic
for at-risk towns.
496
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:17,259
Or...RATFART.
497
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:19,130
Damn it.
- [laughing]
498
00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:22,786
- Sorry. Sorry.
499
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,658
Stupid, stupid day.
[Arpi laughing]
500
00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:27,226
- Sir, did you say
"rat fart"?
501
00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:31,534
- Oh, there you are.
502
00:20:31,578 --> 00:20:34,798
- Oh no, please, please don't.
I've had a long day.
503
00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:40,978
You made grilled cheese.
504
00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:42,328
Is this a trap?
505
00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,808
- No. I feel bad.
506
00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:47,158
They don't get to yell
at my dad.
507
00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:49,552
Only I get to yell
at my dad.
508
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,946
- Works for me.
[chuckles]
509
00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,954
- ...after returning home
from Afghanistan,
510
00:20:59,997 --> 00:21:01,956
all Sergeant Cusack
wanted to do
511
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:03,131
was surprise his daughter
512
00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:05,264
dressed as her favorite
mascot.
513
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:10,225
- It's okay.
514
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,707
- Could I maybe have
a glass of wine?
515
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,796
- Good night, everybody.
- Good night.
35828
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