Original subtitles

♪ I got the horse Right here ♪

♪ The name is Paul Revere

♪ And here's a guy that says

♪ If the weather's clear

♪ Can do

♪ Can do

♪ This guy says The horse can do ♪

♪ If he says The horse can do ♪

♪ Can do

♪ Can do

♪ I'm taking Valentine

♪ 'Cause on the morning line

♪ The guy has got him Figured at 5-to-9 ♪

♪ I'm taking Epitaph

♪ He wins it By a half ♪

"I'll take better care of myself."

"I won't nag."

"I'll always remember to call."

"I will notlose my temperin public anymore."

"I won't gamble so much."

"I'll worry lessabout money."

"I'llworry less about money."

OK.

Now, synchronize your watch.

OK.

Uh, 10:27. I'll be finished at noon, home by 12:30.

I can shower, shave, take a nap, have lunch.

By 12:45,we could be having sex.

I figured out my problem.

I got the whole thing figured out.

Share it with me.

God hates me.

Jay, God loveseverybody.

Not this horse.

That's why I'd like to have one day, you know?

Ah. You'll never understand.

It's OK. It doesn't mean anything. It's all right.

I'd liketo understand this.

I'll listen.Why don't youexplain this to me?

"You can be walking around lucky and not know it."

Excuse me?

The fortune.

That's what the fortune says.

"You can be walking around lucky and not know it."

Oh.

That's funny.

Well...

you knowwhat mine says?

"Stand by your man."

Fabulous.

I'll save that.

Take another one. Here.

I'll take another one. You ruined that one.

When you touch it, it's not my fortune.

When you touch it, you change the fortune.

It means it's yours.

How do you know?

There are rules. Follow the rules.

The international rulesof fortune-cookie taking?

I'm losing my temper!

Excuse me!

Would you tell my wife what happens

when you touch another person's cookie?

It's no good anymore.

Who the hell's this guy?

I never heard that.

You have to openthe cookie.

That's not true. No.

Shut up! Eat!

You got to eat it or it doesn't count.

Unbelievable.

It's only a cookie.

It is not just a cookie!

Where to, pal?

Ramada Inn.

Stop that.He can hear you.

No, he can't.

OK, OK. But I won'twear the pillowcase.

Can I call my wife?

Bet she'd let go.

♪ Money talks

♪ Mmm, money talks

♪ As it all goes Spinnin' 'round ♪

♪ Keep your feet Upon the ground ♪

♪ Money talks

The horse is worth 5 or 6 grand.

Those the papers?

Yeah.

Wait. You saying you had

the boyhold Charity backthe last eight races?

I'm not saying that. That would be illegal.

Give me the $5,000, Carl.

I'm good for it.

'Cause thetrack officials

will be all overyour ass.

I swear. The only way Charity can lose on Saturday

is if she's struck by lightning

in the starting gate.

♪ Well, there's a fine line Between reality ♪

♪ And a vision In a dream ♪

♪ Who knows which one Is the truth ♪

♪ It's a hard life For the other half ♪

♪ Who can't see What it means ♪

♪ Better listen when The man inside your heart ♪

♪ Begins to call

♪ 'Cause money talks

♪ Mmm, money talks

Bet the horse heavy.

You'll laugh all the way to the bank.

♪ Money talks

♪ Money talks

♪ Mmm ♪

I got some fabuloussmut you'll love.

Listen to whatI got tonight.

I've no interest in listening to your filth.

This guy putsa pillowcaseover this babe's head.

You won't believewhat they said.

Bet the horse heavy.

You'll laugh all the way to the bank.

Wait. I went too far.

What was that?

Nothing.Listen to this.

No, play that back.

It's nothing.

Yeah? Then play it back.

What's my end?

The tip of your life.

Bet the horse heavy.

You'll laugh all the way to the bank.

You saying you had the boy hold Charity back

the last eight races?

I'm not saying that. That would be illegal.

'Cause the track officials

will be all over your ass.

I swear. The only way Charity can lose on Saturday

is if she's struck by lightning

in the starting gate.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

This is incredible!

I can't believe this!

Who would believebullshit like that?

What?

Trotter!

This stuff's too good.

You can't believethat stuff.

You are a jackass.

You know that?

The man just said

the horse can't lose unless lightning strikes.

What do you like, the odds on lightning?

I like the factthese are two guys

rehearsing for a play.

Give me a break.

He said the horse is running Saturday, right?

What is it now?

It's--it's, uh...

It...

It's Saturday right now.

Trotter, what'sthe matter with you?

I don't know. I feel different.

Oh, yeah?Different than what?

I--I can't-- I can't explain this.

Play the tape again.

Trotter,remember something?

You gave up gambling.

This isn't gambling.

This would not be gambling.

Gambling involves risk.

It involves chance.

It involves uncertainty.

This is taking advantage

of an extraordinary business opportunity.

If Charity loses, I want my 5,000

plus an additional 2 grand for the taxi driver.

Hey, watch my lips.

The only way Charity loses this race

is if she gets struck by lightning.

Yeah, lightning.

[tape rewinds]

Sam, are you saying the boy held Charity back

for eight straight races?

I'm not saying that. That would be illegal.

'Cause the track officials

would be all over your ass.

I swear. The only way Charity can lose this race

is if she gets struck by lightning

in the starting gate.

You get the tip of your life.

Bet the horse heavy.

You'll laugh all the way to the bank.

You saying you had the boy hold charity back

the last eight races?

♪ Lots of people walkin'

♪ Around this place

♪ With a different story On every face ♪

♪ Hearts on fire

♪ Will they Make it through ♪

♪ At the wire

♪ Will they win or lose

It doesn't look bad,

but the horse'll probablyswallow its tongueor something.

We're putting everything we've got

on Charity's hot little nose.

Hot nose?Is she sick?

Well, besides.I only got 10 bucks.

Don't worry. I got 100 bucks stashed away

for a day just like this.

Yeah, well,I'm not you.

Lucky me.

Yeah.

♪ There's a perfect time When you're temptin' fate ♪

♪ And you lay Your money down ♪

♪ And you cross The line ♪

♪ To another place

♪ Comes a time when you've Got to let it ride ♪

♪ There's a perfect time When you're temptin' fate ♪

♪ And you lay Your money down ♪

♪ Then you cross The line ♪

♪ To another place

♪ Comes a time when you've Got to let it ride ♪♪

I had the daily double. Yes, sir.

I had the daily double.

I had the daily double. Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Here you are.

Why are you buying that shit?

He hadthe daily double.

Stop acting like some fresh hick.

18 months ago?

Sue me.

100 tip sheets at $3.00 apiece

at seven racetracks a day.

That makes 700 racing days a year.

That's $1.4 million a year.

It's lots of money, but what can I say?

You really likeChiquita Bananain the first?

Who?

I had the daily double.

I had the daily double.

I got a bad leg.

Why don't you take this $20

and go bet the 6 horse for me?

Bring me back the tickets, honey.

It's a living.

This is your half.

For me?

Goes under your tongue.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's goacross the street,get a beer.

I don't know.I feel different today.

Today isnot like yesterday.

Well, yesterday was hot. Today is very hot.

Hey, how abouta beer and two aspirins?

And two Maalox.

Hello, Vibes.

I think he's dead.

Hey. Hey, Looney, here it is.

Charity, the four horse.

It might bea late scratch.

40-to-1 odds on the morning line.

They'll bet that down.

I like the Packers.

Those guys weren't kidding.

He's lost all meeting.

Listen--"not in this lifetime."

Hmm? Perfect.

I might bet halfon the Packers.

I may not losetoo bad.

Maybe you'll get a discount for coming close.

I'm calling Lufkin.

Trotter, you know about my 32-star system, right?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I haven't put up a 40-star system in years.

First race, blurred image is it.

Blurred image.

This is a namethat trips offyour tongue.

Give me blurred image's number.

7.

No way on Earth.

Bullshit, no way on Earth.

Bet an American horse

with a foreign jockey up, there's--

8 is the one.

There's a $2 minimum bet.

Lo Fat?

Horse stinks,

but I'mbetting on him.

150 what?

The number is the key.

The odds?

I got the number.

I thoughtyou were dead.

I was getting the number.

Listen, the number's 8.

First I clear my mind of everything.

That shouldn'ttake long.

Oh, look at that. It couldn't be worse.

Looney, please.Pay attention.

Just relax.

Don't even thinkof women.

Two jugs pop up,

it'll take 17 minutesto get rid of them.

A number'sgoing to flash--

4, 6, 9--

It'll be moving fast.

You got to keepyour eyes open.

In sports with teams,letters appear.

I see a "D."

That could beDallas, Denver.

Oh, God.

Trotter,what's the matter?

I just saw my life flash before me.

What'd it look like?

It was going down the drain.

You just had a vibeon the 5 horse,sink or swim.

Your life's goingdown the drain?

Sink...drain...

you get thisconnection?

Oh, God.

That's incredible!

Hey, I'm tryingto educate you guys.

2 horse in the second race

is a mortal lock, and I'm going to wheel him.

Boys, meet Evangeline.

Evangeline, meet the boys.

Looney, Vibes, Marty...

Where's Trotter?

I don't believe I'm with these losers.

You know that.

I belong over in the jockey club,

talking to guys with all their teeth.

Aw, look, I--

I know you're trying to give me a break.

Just let me win this one.

Just let me win this one last one.

Then I can make everything up to Pam.

I'll be out of the hole

and on my way, OK?

I will. I swear. I'm due.

[toilet flushes]

Yeah, so's Jesus.

There's no soap here.

No shit.

Let it ride.

Let it ride?

I hate this place.

Got some I.D., miss?

Oh, sure.

She's 19.

I got a dog 19.

Sid?

Who's her orthodontist,Ray Charles?

Sidney?

Oh.

Don't...

Let me.

Watch my teeth.

Let me. I think I got it.

There you go.

That better?

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

Today's main track is listed as fast,

the turf course, firm.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please note that this afternoon's eighth race

has been taken off the turf

and will be run at 1 1/16 mile

on the main track.

That's it?

Yeah, that's the one.

Hi, Evangeline.

Hi. It's my first time at the track.

Trotter.

Over here.

Excuse me. Pardon me. Pardon me.

There you go. Pardon me.

Trotter.

Sidney.

Look. The 5 horse.

Looks like it's asleep.

You take a horse with a large ass

and you got a winner.

Who do you like?

He likesthe 4 horse.

Thanks for shooting your mouth off.

The 4 horse? It's got leprosy.

The coat'sa little rough.

Don't talk to people.

This is a horse race.

This isn't the Olympics.

I like Charity, too.

He's got a cute nose.

The 5 horseis a mortal lock.

You can play a tune on the 3 horse's ribs.

They're so pretty.

Charity's conscious.

Look, there they are!Those two guys--

Keep your voice down, please.

This is in the bag.

Last-minute strategy.

He's probablytelling him

to go wideon the first turn.

"Go fast and win."

Go fast and win.

Oh.

He made the bet.

Let's go.

You really thinkCharity can win?

Do I really think Charity can win?

Yeah.

Well, I am walking around in yesterday's suit,

and I recall recently telling my wife

I was going to stop gambling,

that I was to move back home

after work this morning.

If I listen closely,

I can hear my wife telling her attorney, "Go for his balls."

you're really asking whether I think Charity can win?

Yeah.

Yes! I think Charity can win!

I think Charity'sgoing to loseby a nose.

[horn plays Call to the Post]

We are calling for trainer A.J. Brady.

Trainer A.J. Brady,

please contact the stewards.

Ladies and gentlemen,

in this afternoon's eighth race,

number 7, Hasty Flier,

will now be included on today's Lasix list.

That's the eighth race, number 7...

Some relative die?

I'm sorry.

Hi, cheeseburger.

Hey, Trot. Trot.

Who you like in the first? Who you like?

Come on. Come on. Tell me.

It's cheese. Who you like?

Come on.

Ah. The number 4 horse.

What? Come again. Hmm?

The number 4 horse.

4?

Nobody in his right mind bets the 4 horse!

The 4 horse is a joke, Trotter!

I love this guy.

They put little kids on the 4 horse

to have their pictures taken.

Excuse me.

The guy here withSammy Davis, Jr.Around his neck

is botheringthe customers.

Can I get some helparound here?

Hey, everybody! Trotter's betting on the 4 horse!

Hey, watch-- Watch the chains!

Hey, Trotter!

The 4 horse is a God damn Clydesdale!

I'd like one win ticket

on the number 4 horse.

This is the $50 window.

The $5 windowis just over there.

Give me a win ticket

on the number 4 horse, Charity, please.

Thank you.

It was nothing.

Yoo-hoo, Trotter.Yoo-hoo.

Isn't this exciting?

The flamingos,the fresh air--

Did you bet?

Oh, yeah.

The horses have reached the starting gate

for the first race of the afternoon.

A reminder of the late scratch.

Scratch Vagabond Star.

Simpson!

Fresh air and conviviality

are important to one's well-being.

It's very important.

Can we have two spots on the rail?

Pay you after the fourth race.

Oh, boy.

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey! Oh! Hey!

Here you go.

$5 a space, 23, 24 spaces a race,

9 races a day's $1,400 a day.

That's a lot of money.

Yeah, for being big.

The horses have now reached the starting gate.

Marty's horselooks suicidal.

Hey, who do you like in the first?

The 4 horse?

Hey, down in front, you big lug!

Who said that?

Here come the assistant starters

to take ahold of the runners.

They're going in.

There's Burgles Delight,

loading into the inside gate,

joined by Dream Roadblock going in quietly.

Shy Ruler is next.

He goes without any problem.

Trot, I gota bad feeling.

No. For you to have a bad feeling,

you first needed a good feeling,

so you've no frame of reference.

Charity hesitated momentarily,

but there goes Charity in quietly now.

Sink or Swim coming forward.

And it'll be Chiquita Banana and Blurred Image.

Guys and Dolls forward.

The flag is up.

Yo! Yo!

Sink or Swim, second. Let it Shine, third.

Get off the rail!

Still a long way to go.

One more word, I'll kill you.

Onto the backstretch they go.

That's the long shot, Charity,

opening up by 3 lengths.

Shy Ruler is racing second,

then it's Sink or Swim.

Blurred Image is in the middle of the pack,

then Lo Fat, and Guys and Dolls is last.

They're coming to the quarter pole.

It's Charity, Blurred Image on the outside...

Come on!

Blurred Image!That's Marty's horse!

He might have pickedhimself a winner!

Don't do this to me!

Blurred Image,

Charity...

She's dying.

Ooh.

Ow!

Charity on the inside,

Blurred Image on the outside.

They're nose to nose...

I thought we had a deal!

Who won? Who won? Who won?

Photo.

Photo?

Who's the photo?

I'm gladI didn't bet.

You didn't bet?

I would've hada heart attack.

I only bet 2 bucks on the longest shot,

so my heart don't break.

Why is it on so long?

If Blurred Imagewas Marty's horse,

he'd be thrilledif he won.

I don't deserve this anguish.

Trotter, are youall right?

Have some nice beer.

I quit drinking.

The photo signwent off.

They got a winner.

The winner of today's first race...

My god!

It's official!You won!

Third, number 2, Dream Roadrun.

The winning time of today's first race--1 minute...

28.40!

You're rich!

Is that official?

Is now official.

I can't believeI didn't bet!

What wonderful people!

I'd hate to haveto walk around this joint

with $700 cash.

710! And you'll never have that problem

because the only reason I won

is that you didn't bet!

You are the unluckiest person in the world!

Am not!

Am.

Am not.

Am! Who do you like in the second?

The 6 horselooks pretty good.

Huh! You got a brother?

In Cleveland.

Call him up. Ask him who he likes.

It's in the blood.

You had it! You knew!

You're the unluckiest person in the world!

You don't have toget personal.

Congratulations.

You got the long shot.

20, 40, 60, 80, 1.

Down paymenton a new fridge.

80, 2.

80, 3.

Towards the rent.

80, 4.

Flowers for Pam.

Dinner for Pam and me.

Parking tickets.

$710.

I'm rich.

♪ I got the horse Right here ♪

♪ The name is Paul Revere

♪ And here's a guy that says If the weather's clear ♪

Trotter, long time, no see.

♪ Can do, can do

♪ This guy says The horse can do ♪

♪ If he says The horse can do ♪

♪ Can do

♪ Can do

♪ I'm takin' Valentine ♪

♪ 'Cause on The mornin' line ♪

♪ The guy has Got him figured ♪

♪ At 5-to-9

♪ I'm takin' Epitaph

♪ He wins it by a half

♪ According to this hereIn the Telegraph♪

♪ For Paul Revere, I'll bite ♪

♪ I hear his foot's All right ♪

♪ Of course It all depends ♪

♪ If it rained Last night ♪

♪ I know it's Valentine

♪ 'Cause on The mornin' line ♪

♪ The guy has Got him figured ♪

♪ At 5-to-9

♪ But just a minute,Boys... ♪♪

♪ Boop boop boop boop

Let me see, what is that,

30-40 a day?

180-200 a week?

That's $720 a month.

It's not lotsof money.

No, no.

Oh, I got kidsin college.

This dollar will payfour minutes' tuition.

Buy a new joke.

♪ Boom boom boom boom

Walking tall.

Thank you.

♪ Boom boom Boom boom ♪

The beer head containsthe vitamins and minerals.

Everything you needto live is right there--

A's, B's, C's.

Hmph.

Here you go.

What do you mean?

You don't take this one?

Are you serious?

♪ Do do do do

♪ Hmm

You look a little taller.

♪ Mm-hmm

Anybody want a beerbefore I go home?

I hear you hada big win, Trotter.

The long shot.

I'm buying.

I may not have a bunch of money,

but I got the peace of mind

of knowing I did the right thing,

which is not betting on a sure thing.

I knew a guy, comes here.

Hits a $75 daily double, borrows money to get home.

I told you guys which horse I was going to pick.

Remember the time

you rat-holed the 5up your ass?

He was so brokeby the last race,

he had to drop his pantsin front of the window

to get at it.

A winner knows when it's time to quit.

♪ Ba ba ba boo

♪ Mm-hmm

♪ Mm-hmm ♪

What a race.We really won.

Exactly. That photo finish--

Excuse me.

My name is Trotter.

I have a very close friend who drives a cab.

It's just a coincidence,

but what he does to pass the time

is to make tapes.

I knew something would go wrong, God damn it!

How much you want?

No. I just won $710 on Charity.

I came to thank you.

How much?

I was only here for the first race.

What do you want?

I'm not a blackmailer.

How much?

Take the tape.

Where's the original?

That's it. There are no copies.

I'm not a crook.

Neither am I.

I thought she'd win,

but you never know.

Right. Even when you know, you never know.

I know.

Exactly. This is the only tape?

Yeah, that's it.

How did youlike that photo?

Tense. Yes, yes.

You didn't make a copy?

I just came down here to say hello.

I'm on my way home.

There's a horse in the third race.

Got a good chance.

This isthe only tape?

Absolutely.

The reasonI like this horse

is that my jockey says

that the jockey ridingthis Faith Healer

has got a grand

riding on him.

The last grandthis loser sawwas the Grand Canyon.

He must have borrowed it.

Faith Healer, huh?

7 horse.

I got a couplebucks on him.

Put 10 bucks on him.Who knows?

Who knows?

Exactly.

Yeah.

I have to go home.

Take my seat at the jockey club.

Take this.

You might need it, you know?

You never know.

You never know.

You never know!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Ha ha!

Oh, yeah.

Give me a burger.

One burger.

Why you likethis Faith Healer?

You talking to me?

I hear you're hot,Trotter.

'Cause I won one lousy race?

Well, you never know.

I've seendumber guys than youwin two in a row.

And 25, 2, 3--

if I'd only bet $2.00, I'd be up $28.

Doesn't a hamburger cost $1.50.

Honest mistake.

Why do you likethis Faith Healer?

How do you know I like Faith Healer?

You might bewalking around lucky

and not even know it.

You know what I mean?

Mmm!

I just work here.

Bah!

You finished with that?

Knock yourself out, pal.

Yo, Mr.. Trotter.

Mr. Trotter, do you have a minute?

Yeah.

Who you like in the third, huh? Huh?

Yeah. The 7 horse.

The 7 horse.

All right!

I won't forget this.

I will not forget this.

680, 700.

Ahem.

Let it ride.

Welcome home.

On what?

The win tickets on Faith Healer.

Most guys get lucky,

they bet $3.00in the next race.

Just give me the $50 win tickets on the 7 horse.

Hey, Trotter, you've shrunk.

We can make lots of money.

Take the tape to the stables.

Confront the trainer with the evidence.

With what he made,

he won't mind slipping us 5 grand.

I got ridof the tape.

Aah!

I saved you froma lengthy jail sentence.

I'll get you for this!

The horses have now reached the starting gate.

50 bucks on June Bug to win.

It's the same name as my cat.

And away they go!

Oh, yeah!

Come on!

Faith Healer is going best of all...

Faith Healer's going best of all...

Come on,Faith Healer!

And it's Faith Healer...

Yes! Yes!Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes!Yes! Yes!

I'm never, nevergoing to forget this!

Never!

And June Bug was the last one over the line.

Well, well, well.

This will require your autograph.

And so will the IRS.

You can't win that much without owning up.

$2,450.

Shoes?

Ah!

Mm-hmm.

Ah!

Thank you very much, sir.

My name is Greenberg.

Vicki.

Trotter.

I'm pleased.

I didn't realize

we were havinga beauty contestat the track today.

He thinks you wona beauty contest.

I could have.

If you didn't,I'd have bought it.

Bernie's rich.

Nice meetingboth of you.

Thank you.

Likewise.

What are you on in the fifth?

Who do you likein the fifth?

Hmm?

Bernie lost his assalready today.

Whoa! Zip it.

You want to know my philosophy?

Mm-hmm.

If nobody knows you got money,

what the hell's the use of having it?

I got a condo worth 700% more

than I paid for it.

I don't need a place that big, huh?

Mm-mmm.

But I like space.

Space.

He likes space.

Guess how many bathrooms it has.

I don't know.

That's how many.

He found six.

Six bathrooms.

I got to get even. I'll bet a grand.

Excuse me.

She, uh...

She's got very long legs.

That's right.

They go from my ass to the floor--

My legs.

True.

What would you like to drink, sir?

Any Wild Turkey in season?

Kill one for me.

Thank you.

Have you a pen I might borrow?

Will a pencil do?

Yes, thank you.

You're welcome.

May I buy you a drink?

Sure. I'm on the pill.

Rum.

The horses for the fifth race

now entering the track.

I likethe number 6 horse.

Lord Byron.

Mmm.

I enjoy gambling.

I'm having a good day.

Mmm.

Lord Byron. Lord Byron.

Byron--poet,

poetas, poetamus,

poetatus.

Poetic...

Like this room.

Yes.

Normally, I don't like to bet the favorite,

but $2,500 times 2 is 5 grand.

Do you...

come here...

often?

Every day.

Really?

You gamble every day?

Of course.

Do you...

Has gambling affected your home life?

[wheezing]

Ruined it.

Ha ha ha ha.

Has gambling affected your...

reputation?

Honey, some peoplelike to rub me for luck.

Hurry up with that rum!

You feel lucky?

I'm hot.

I can tell.

Lord...

Byron.

I like Lord Byron.

I love Lord Byron.

I think I'll go bet it.

Hi, Charlie.

Hi, Vicki.

Yo! Aah!

Sorry.

I'm terribly sorry.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Can I get you anything?

No, thank you.

Flowers?

No, thank you.

Quaaludes?

One more collisionlike that,

and you're gettingfitted for glasses.

Hey, what did I do?

Ah.

What did I do?

There he is!

You won't be picking more pockets.

What the hell's happening?

Show me your I.D.

You have the rightto remain silent.

I want the right to bet Lord Byron.

Let's go, Morgan.

Morgan? I'm not Morgan.

Shut up.

Tell them who I am.

Tell the police officers who I am.

I've never seenthis man beforein my life.

I'll kill you!

I can't believe you did this!

We got Morgan here.

I'm not Morgan!

Do I looklike a Morgan?

Sit down and shut up.

We got Morgan here.

I am not Morgan, God damn it!

Swearing in public'sillegal.

So is false arrest.

Home address?

You're calling my wife?

The horses have now reached the starting gate.

This is costing me $5,000.

Quiet.

Hey!

Blast him!

You can't shoot a pickpocket!

Out of the way!

It must be a commercial.

Why are you handcuffed?

Move!

He's going in.

Gay Lady a little restless inside the gate.

The flag is up.

Don't! No!

And away they go!

He did it!

What did I do?

Everything.

Paris Red is wide.

Mismatched moves up on the outside,

4 lengths off the lead...

How do you explain $2,400

you got hidden in your shoes?

I'm having a very good day!

We're checking outa Mr. J. Trotter.

I'm going to kill you!

2232-1/2Flamingo Lane.

Aah!

Lord Byron's in front.

He said he usedto work for you.

There's a shocking incident of bumping,

and Lord Byron has lost the rider.

Splendid Reason gets up late to win it.

You do know him?

Splendid Reason wins it.

Lord Byron is in front.

There's a shocking incident of bumping,

and Lord Byron has lost the rider.

Oh! That is a shocking incident of bumping.

Splendid Reason gets up late to win it.

I didn't lose.

Weirder and weirder.

I had the winner.

I didn't lose.

I should have lost, but I didn't lose.

There's a fine line

between winningand losing.

Yes. The finish line.

When you have money,

you don't have toworry about losing.

I sell envelopes, see.

If I lose 10 grandat the track,

I add a half a centto the prices

of my oversizedbirthday envelopes.

I'll take six dozen.

Dr. Trotter, Dr. Jay Trotter,

please pick up the nearest courtesy phone.

I'll be right back. Excuse me.

Come back, doctor.

Hmm.

Some doctor.

It's right over there, sir.

We're calling for trainer Mel Stute.

Please contact the jockey's room.

This is Dr. Trotter.

Follow me, please, sir.

Miss Vicki.

Some caviar, please.

Yes, sir.

And a littlechampagne.

Excellent.

Honey, I knewit was you.

What's happening?

Trotter, sweetheart, honey, darling,

what day is it?

It's, uh,Saturday, babe.

Why?

Saturday. Good.

I see.

I don't want to assume something I shouldn't.

What time is it exactly?

It's, uh, 1:45, doll.

It's 1:45, doll.

And where are you right now?

In the jockey club.You called me, remember?

Yes, of course.

If what you're saying is true,

you're in the jockey club at the racetrack

at 1:45 Saturday afternoon

when you were supposedto be home at 12:30,

startingour marriage over!

You lowlifeson of a bitch!

You lousy bum!

I hate your guts!

Pam, listen--

How could you--

Excuse me. What the hellam I saying?

How could younot do this?

How could I expectanything but this?

You know something? You're hopeless.

I'm just as hopeless to even conceive

you'd have a smidgen of consideration

for my feelings. Jesus!

Excuse me. This is a private conversation.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

You're lying, you're gambling,

you're making me hate you.

Pam, I'm not gambling.

I am not gambling.

I am winning.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

I wouldn't kid you. I'm up $2,500.

I'm having a very good day.

Having a good day?

Well, good day this,baby.

I'm calling my attorney.

I'll tell himto go for your balls.

Pam, listen--

Trotter, this is it.

I really do.I'm finished.

We are history.

Listen to me. Don't panic.

Get all gussied up--

All gussied up?

I want you to come on down here

and see for yourself.

You won't believe it.

If I come down,

you won't believewhat's going on.

Be here in 30 minutes. I love you.

Trotter?

Trotter?

♪ Ba ba ba boom

♪ Ba boom

[dial tone]

Bastard.

Maybe one,one more time,

but after that, no more.

I thought we'd find you at that dump across the street.

That dump, Marty's, where all the pigs wallow.

I like your shoes.

Buy themat a carpet sale?

Let's throw him out the window.

I hope someday you're two seconds late.

Where's your friend?Looney?

He's not my friend.

Well, he's late.He's late with some money.

I wouldn't know.

Hundreds late.

Sickeningly late. Late.

Bernie.

I swear to God,I hate this.

Makes my stomach turn.

Next week is megiving you this back.

Huh?

The racesmake me nervous.

You can't beat an animal.

Your friend Looney'sin trouble.

He betthe Packers today.

So?

So he bet thempretty hard.

They lost 75 to 10.

Your pal Looney went in for a nickel.

I thought he only bet $50.

Your friend Looney'sdown 800.

Which is a lot for a bum.

When you seeyour buddy,

please, pleasepass along this message--

Pay up.

P.S.

Or else.

I don't really think

I'll be seeingMr. Looney any time soon.

Excuse me.

Let's have another beer.

Anybody seen Looney?

I may draw some savings

and get back what we lost.

I am pretty mad.

You seen Looney?

Everybody's looking for Looney.

Looney saidyou were a jerk.

Where is he?

Lufkin was looking for him.

He left a number.

Looney said youturned on your friends.

Where is he?

He's giving blood.

We can give blood.

I am pretty cheesed off about that jockey

falling off that damn horse, Sid.

Looney.

Looney.

What?

Looney,

what are you doing?

I'm being embalmed,

if it's any business of yours.

Lufkin islooking for you.

So?

He saysyou're over the limit.

Dead men can't pay up.

Don't go backto the track.

I can't believe you screwed me.

I didn't screw you.

I made the betthat we both bet.

I lost $50 on the one named after my cat.

In the seventh, there's one named after my apartment.

I'm going back.

Great place to spend the afternoon

with your friend, until he sneaks off and screws you!

I did not!

You, out.

Give my regards to your pals

at that whorehouse where you're sitting.

Look, uh...

tell the guy back therehis blood is rare.

He gets 20 ratherthan the regular 10.

His blood is rare.

He gets $75.

75?

75 twice a weekis $150.

That's a lotof money.

A round of banana daiquiris.

There's a Banana King in the next race.

You're kidding. Where?

Where's the money?

We're married.

Oh, well,

we're not.

Give me the moneyfor safekeeping.

It's in my shoes.

Give me the money.

Aah!

There are purse snatchersall over this joint!

Put this on your list,

Mr. I-Won't-Gamble-Anymore.

What happened to that, huh?

Why don't yougive me some money

and you can keep $10if you have to bet.

Why can't youwatch the horsesrun around the track

and not bet on them?

She's new.

What's so damn funny.

Because there is no racing without betting.

That's poetic.

Oh, please! Airhead.

Excuse me?

I don't want you to lose all our money.

Pam, darling, sweetheart,

I'm begging you,

be quiet.

Give me that money,

or I'll cause a scene.

Rememberyour mother's house?

The plate glass window?

OK.

Ok, what?

I'm going to the men's room.

Why?

Take my shoes off.

I don't trust you!

You don't want meto make a scene here.

Terribly sorry.

Here comes the champ!

I mean it, you are the champ.

You've got more guts than sense.

What do you want?

I don't know.

Give me a number.

I'll be right back.

I believe you will.

I'm taking a survey.

Who do you like?

The 2 horse. He's got front wraps.

I always bet a horse with front wraps.

I'm taking a survey.

Go with your lungs.

Lay big money on the 4 horse.

Who do you like?

6 is the horse.

I always bet on 5.

Who do you like?

Up yours. The number 1 horse.

Thank you.

I like the 4.

These other nags will die.

At the eighth pole,

they'll look like they're at a bus stop.

I'm taking the survey.You take your own.

I like the 6.

The 4.

1 horse.

I like the 6 horse.

3.

What do you mean, 3?

3 to win.

Let it ride.

Do you know what you're doing?

Of sound mind?

I'm not askingfor a will.

I'm asking for 48$50 win tickets

on the 3 horsein the seventh race.

You want 48 $50 win tickets

on the 3 horse in the seventh race?

So I have to give you 48 $50 win tickets

on the 3 horse in the seventh race.

How much does48 $50 win tickets

on the 3 horsein the seventh race pay?

Hmm.

48 $50 win tickets

on the 3 horse in the seventh race

at...

25 to 1...

will pay you...

approximately $69,000.

This isa lot of money.

Don't you want to hold back some just in case?

Why?

In case you get hungry or thirsty.

Aha.

Thanks.

It's quiet.

I do this for a living.

Been doing it for 15 years.

I play the circuit.

Mm-hmm.

One track closes, another one opens.

Some big places,

some dumps.

I met all kinds of characters.

But believe me, pal, you are the champ.

I really hope you win.

Yep. You're the greatest I've ever seen.

I'll tell my grandchildren about you.

Thanks.

[buzz]

will you escort this gentleman

to his seat and stay with him if necessary.

Yes, sir.

Hi.

Coming through.

You've been arrested?

Where's the money?

No.

No, please!

No!

I had to.

You lyingson of a bitch!

Lay off.

Mind yourown business.

She's pert, if you like pert.

Although nobody likes the 3.

What is shetalking about?

You want another round?

You're sick.

You shouldbe hospitalized.

I just got it.

I just got something real important.

After all these years,

it's not my gambling you despise,

it's been my losing.

I'm going to endthis marriage now

because if I don't,

I'll havea nervous breakdown.

I'm going home.

Good.

Want me to call youwhen I win?

Yes! Call this!

We're having some problems.

Poor Trotter.

Poor, poor Trotter.

You're lookingat 69 grand

or you'relooking at nothing.

I have a housein the Bahamas.

He's mine.

You're mine.

The horses are approaching the starting gate.

The horses have now reached the starting gate.

[coughing]

The horses are all in line.

The flag is up.

And away they go!

Up Yours, Rock It and Moonbeams

broke on top.

Idle Threat behind them.

Banana King

and Fleet Dreams is the trailer.

Come on, Fleet Dreams!

It's Up Yours on the inside...

Come on. Come on, 4!

Come on, 4!

Come on, Fleet Dreams!

Come on, 4!

Come on! Come on!

Come on.

Come on, 4!

Get up there!

Come on, baby!

Come on, baby!

Come on, baby!

Come on, baby!

Come on,you son of a bitch!

And Banana King is on the outside...

Come on, Trotter's horse.

Come on.

Come on, 4!

Up Yours now at the rail...

Moonbeams is in front...

Come on!

Come on, baby!

Moonbeams on the inside...

Come on, Fleet Dreams.

Come on, baby!

Come on!

Come on.

Moonbeams...

Come on.

Fleet Dreams on the inside...

Come on!Come on! Come on!

Moonbeams gets the lead...

Come on! Come on!

We won!

Fleet Dreams has won it...

You're a millionaire.

I've had enough of that.

Trotter won all that money.

Get up,you crazy bitch!

Get out of here.

Jesus Christ!

Did I win?

Son of a bitch!

I won!

I won. Son of a bitch!

Son of a bitch fucking flying,

son of a bitch fucking flying whore.

God likes me!

He really, really likes me!

What a day! What a day!

What a fabulous day!

I'm having a fabulous day!

They ought to guardthe back door,

so that sortdoesn't get in.

Fix your God damn skirt.

OK, Bernie.

Can't hold his liquor.

You might have mentioned.

What?

The 3 horse.

You might have mentioned you liked him.

I could use some extra money.

Want to knowhow I got the 3 horse?

You want to know?

I went outin the thing,

and, I, I...

Oh, screw it.

I hate people who sneak around and bet.

A classmate covered up his answers like a sissy.

Who cares? Who cares?

Waiter, more champagne.

We're verybusy now, sir.

Bllll!

That's for all you stuffy rat bastards.

I'm going to collect $69,000.

Grrr.

I'm hiring you. 100 bucks an hour.

Don't worryabout anything.

Anybody who makes a funny move,

shoot them.

Hey, Trotter!

No. That's OK.

I know this guy!

Hey! Pay up, you deadbeat!

No. Don't shoot anybody yet!

I haven't collected my money.

I don't like you one fuck.

If I hearanother profanity,

I'll blastyour head off.

Oh, really?

That's correct.

I lost the moneyfrom the blood bank.

I'm not surprised.

My pocket was picked.

Is this the social hour?

You owe me, you greasy deadbeat.

I'm going to get it.

How much exactly does Mr. Looney owe you?

850.

Grrr.

I was at Marty'son the phone.

I was goingto bet $50.

Then I said, "give me500 on the Packers."

It was likesomebody else saying it.

Let him kill me.

I'll pay for Looney when I settle here, OK?

You don't have to do that.

I'll get my own money.

I'll kill somebody.

Watch it!

When's the last time I won? Look it up.

December 3rd. Three years ago.

22 bucks.

I'm a loser. I deserve to die.

When I collect here,I settle Looney's sheet.

I'm committed to you for my life.

You're the greatest man that ever lived.

That soundsfine to me.

$69,000.

I want champagne sent to Fleet Dream's stall

and two dozen roses sent to the owner.

A case of light beer sent to the jockey.

The government's taking half. That's...

34,5.

8 on the Buick, 4 1/2 on the furniture.

Pam wants a water cruise. That's 4.

12 years rent, 200 for champagne,

100 for the roses.

40.

100 for the broken glass at the jockey club.

50.

8 1/2 for Looney's tab,

that leaves me with...

zero...

zero...

zero.

Congratulations.

I'm broke.

Looney.

About that 850 you owe.

There's all kindsof love.

I've got bad news.

My love is man to man,friend to friend.

You're a prince,my king.

Aw, hell.

You'll be back.

Not me.I've seen the light.

Excuse me.

I hate to interrupt,

but somebody owes me some change.

Nobody make a false move.

He looks different.

I have peripheral vision. It's a gift.

I can see my ears.

A guy's throwing up on a pool table to my left.

Two guys are sleeping on the right.

A bulb's burned out.

There's a fly on the money box.

What is this crap?

[ring]

Hello.

Hi, honey.

Don't honey me.

Besides, I'm drunk.

Pam, um...

you know that race,

the one you left before?

I've decidedto become an alcoholic.

It's the healthiestthing I've ever donefor myself.

I won.

We're pretty rich.

I'm goingto drink every day.

Bottles of gin,six packs.

I'm going to hidebottles around the house.

I'm never goingto cook or clean

or, or, take baths.

You can sellthe bed if you want,

make bets with it

because I'll bepassing out on the floor

from now on because...

Pam!

You can sellthe refrigerator, too.

All of the money is in a little green box.

Pam?

I'm drinking gin andflicking ashes on the floor.

I couldn't leave you,

so I decidedthis is the only way.

Pammie, honey...

Go and make your bet.

Give me a call.

I'll be here,passed out in vomit.

We have to talk.

You can move back, Jay.

I missed youall the time.

Oh, Pam.

I really love you.

Oh, that's...

very sweet.

Pamela?

I'm sorry.I dropped the phone.

Could youpick up some wine?

I love you.

Do you--Do you mean that?

Of course I do.

Mean what?

Honey?

Yeah? Good night.

Hel--

What do you want to do with the assets?

[snoring]

Honey, I'm home.

Pam?

Pammie?

I didn't bet.

Pam, we're rich.

I got you a little bubbly,

and...

I got you a nice little gift here.

Huh?

Huh?

Honey?

Honey?

Sweetie, honey?

OK.

Ah.

$69,000.

Nine...

Piles of tiles?

What does it mean?

5 of clubs.

This horse could onlybe ridden

by a Chinese jockey.

Yeah, in the first race.

The racehorse was four generations.

It's him!

It's him! He's here!

[crowd roars]

I knew it! I knew it!

Thank you.

Trotter!

Trotter! Trotter!Trotter! Trotter!

Trotter! Trotter!

Trotter!Trotter!Trotter! Trotter!

Now, that's a man.

You know,all these bums here

said youwere a quitter.

But I defended you.

A toast...

to Trotter!

You're all great friends.

And who needs money

when you got friends?

That's right.

And don't worry

because we'll all be here

to pick you up when it's over.

I, uh...

I got an idea.

You got a horse picked out?

Now...I'm hot, right?

I am truly hot.

And there is nothing more important than friendship.

Now, here's what we're going to do.

We're going to take everything we've got--

everything I've got,

and everything you've got.

Every last cent...

we're going to put it all together

into one big pile.

And we're going to bet it together!

Looney.

I'm hot.

[groans]

I'm hot! Listen to me!

This is the chance

that you have all been waiting for.

The next race, I'm putting a 27 star.

It's good, but I wouldn't bet my grandmother.

I wouldn't either.

You don't understand.

Chocoholic.

Sashay around.

Chocoholic!

Sashay around.

What's the name of that 6 horse?

Sinking? No, that'sthe name of the jockey...

something about the sound diamonds,

I don't know what it is...

That's the guy.

Yes.

Stay.

Guess who.

A football salesman.

No, it's me.

It's Vicki.

Hi, Vicki.

Hi, Trotter.

What are you doing here?

Nothing. What are yougoing to do, Trotter?

I don't know.

Where's your friend?

Who, Bernie?

You know, you can do better than that.

A girl's got to decidewhat's important--

Money or love.

No one's givinganything away.

Bernie hasa lot of money,

which cancome in handy sometimes.

You're a wonderful girl.

Thank you, Trotter.

I'm gettinga little nervous now.

I was just thinkingI'd come down

and ask youto go to bed with me

'cause I thinkyou're kind of funny.

Am I having a good day or what?

Vicki.

What?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

But I'm in love with my wife.

Oh...

well...

I just thoughtI'd ask, that's all.

What is it they say?

"Nothing ventured,nothing...ventured."

Ah, here's Trotter.

Hi.

What are yougoing to do?

I know what he's not going to do.

What are yougoing to do?

I don't know.

Are you bettingon this race?

I don't know.

Whatever you do,

don't bet on that horse.

Why not?

Something's wrongwith its eyes.

How can they racea horse like that?

Let me get this straight.

Whatever I do, don't bet this horse.

Looney, Vicki. Vicki, Looney.

Nice to meet you.

I may faint.

Don't worry.

We got fullmedical coverage.

I'll be OK.

Let it ride.

Is it all there?

I spent some on the little woman,

but it's all there.

There are all kindsof balls.

One of his is crystal.

I--I can't give you$50 win tickets.

That's over 1,300win tickets.

It'll jam the machine.

We'll be heretill Christmas.

The counting room.

Right. Now, I'll issue you a receipt

to the value of your wager,

which is $68,000,

on the number 2 horse,

which is called... Hot-to-Trot.

Should you lose this receipt--

He's not going to lose his receipt.

Right. Your bet will immediately be routed

through the computer

that adjusts the odds on the tote board.

Hot-to-Trot's sitting at 40-to-1, but...

a wager this size will knock it down

to...maybe 8-to-1.

I must say, you're very calm.

Most guys come in here,

they're ready to gnaw the legs off the tables.

Well, that's 'causeI'm going to win.

You're a wonderful guy.

What a guy.

Some coke dealer went nuts again.

Heavy bettor. Make room.

Heavy bettor. Heavy--hey!

Who do you like, Evangeline?

I am going to betall 200 of my dollars

on the 4 horse,Stargazer, to show.

Of course I couldlose.

Stay calm.

What if I lost?

OK, OK. Come on, Trotter. It doesn't matter.

I had a lobster, some drinks,

bought my wife a diamond necklace.

I'm OK. I'm OK.

I settled Looney's tab,

made a few friends like you and Vicki,

the ticket seller--

Can't put a price tag on a day like that.

Got some money for a ride home

and dinner out somewhere if I lose.

But if I win, Reardon, if I win...

Trotter, I was gettingworried about you.

I bet 20 on the favorite.

I put every penny on the number 2 horse,

Hot-to-Trot.

When the oddswent 8-1, I knew it.

He pissed itall away!

Yay! Yay!

May the best horse win.

The 2 horse!

The 2 horse was limping

coming outof the gate!

Shut up, you pessimistic jinx!

I can't see!I'm going blind!

Run, you son of a bitch!

Come on, Hot-to-Trot!

Please, I swear I'll stop!

I always swear to GodI'll quit smoking.

I don't think so.

I bet you sworesomething secretly.

Who do you think you are, Jimmy Swaggart?

This is a horse race!

It doesn't workthat way!

If my horse loses,

I'll wring your chicken neck!

I can't see the 2 horse!

What do you see?

Come on!

Your horse is on the outside.

Stay on the track!

The horsecan't hear you!

Come on, Stargazer, move it!

Move it!

Just make her lose.

I'll give up my smut collection.

Hey, there's two horses pulling away.

One of them's yours.

More ground to cover.

I'll leave Bernie.

Pure love from now on.

I'll go for some poor guy with nothing.

Let him have it.

I don't care about the lousy 200.

Marry me?

Come on, now!

Aah!

Whoa. They'repecker to pecker.

Who?

It's Stargazer on the inside...

Come on, 2! Please!

You can't shinea flashlight between them!

It's Stargazer on the outside...

I'm getting something.

Lord, give that punk a break.

It's the 2.It's the 2. Come on, 2!

2!

2, 2!

You can do it!

Yes. Yes.

I got it.

Stargazer just in front,

but Hot-to-Trot's coming in on the outside.

Hot-to-Trot or Stargazer.

And at the wire it's... My God.

Were did My God come from?

Oh, man,I'm glad I'm poor

and don't have to worryabout finishes like that!

I knew it.

I knew it.

What the helldid he know?

Weknew it.

Wouldn't it be hellif that horsegot disqualified

for bumpingor something?

I knew it.

Pardon me.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Thank you, sweetheart.

That was reallyvery sweet, honey.

And this.

Ah.

I bet it all, honey.

I let it all ride.

It's only money.

Let the guy have it, will you?

He's a sweet little fellow.

Winner of the 10th race, number 2.

Why are they cheering?

Because I'm having a very good day.

♪ I got the horse Right here ♪

♪ The name is Paul Revere

♪ And here's a guy that says If the weather's clear ♪

♪ Can do, can do

♪ This guy says the horse Can do ♪

♪ I'm takin' Valentine ♪

♪ 'Cause on The mornin' line ♪

♪ The guy Has got him figured At 5-to-9 ♪

♪ I'm takin' Epitaph

♪ He wins itBy a half ♪

♪ Accordin' to this hereIn the Telegraph ♪

♪ But just a minute, boys

♪ I got some feedbox noise

♪ It says the great-grandfather Was Equipoise ♪

♪ I tell you Paul Revere ♪

♪ Now, this is No bum steer ♪

♪ It's from a Handicapper that's Real sincere ♪

♪ So make it Epitaph,He wins it by a half ♪

♪ According to this hereIn the Telegraph... ♪♪

♪ There's a perfect time When you're temptin' fate ♪

♪ And you lay Your money down ♪

♪ When you Cross the line ♪

♪ To another place

♪ Comes a time when you've Got to let it ride ♪

♪ Mm-mmm

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ A victim of circumstance

♪ Or a master of fate

♪ When it comes To takin' a chance ♪

♪ It's never too late

♪ Hearts on fire

♪ You got to Make it through ♪

♪ And at the wire

♪ You win or lose

♪ There's a perfect time When you're temptin' fate ♪

♪ And you lay Your money down ♪

♪ When you cross the line To another place ♪

♪ Comes a time when you've Got to let it ride ♪

♪ Mm-mmm

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

♪ You can take me To the cleaners ♪

♪ Where I lay My money down ♪

♪ You can take me To the races again ♪

♪ These are hard times For a bettin' man ♪

♪ But this is A sure thing ♪

♪ You better listen

♪ When the voice inside Your head begins to call ♪

♪ 'Cause money talks

♪ Mmm, money talks

♪ As it all Goes spinnin' round ♪

♪ Keep your feet Upon the ground ♪

♪ Money talks

♪ Mmm, money talks

♪ Mmm, money talks

♪ Money talks

♪ Well, there's a fine line Between reality ♪

♪ And a vision in a dream

♪ Who knows which one Is the truth ♪

♪ It's a hard life For the other half ♪

♪ Who can't see What it means ♪

♪ You better listen

♪ When the man inside your Heart begins to call ♪

♪ 'Cause money talks

♪ Mmm, money talks

♪ As it all comes Crashin' down ♪

♪ You keep your feet Upon the ground ♪

♪ 'Cause money talks ♪