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Hey, jungle monster, you ever been fucked by a girl?

Cause Sally is horny.

Good job, Sally.

When I grow up, I want to be Butch Savage.

I want to be Butch Savage.

Hey, little dudes and dudettes, do you want to be the next Butch Savage?

Then follow Butch's three rules of living savage.

Number one, never settle.

You get too comfortable, you lose your drive.

Number two, work hard.

There are no shortcuts.

Number three, eat sugary savage cereal every day.

It'll give you strong muscles and big brains like Butch.

Get out of here, bananas, I ain't no monkey.

I'm a savage.

- Savage! - Savage!

My name is Luke. I'm from Los Angeles, California.

I live here in Reseda now with my best friend Tanner.

Dude, you're supposed to get the missiles by the silo.

And my favorite dog, Mr. Perfect.

Hey, uh, Luke, you're being a little bitch or are you...

My name's Tanner. I live in Los Angeles.

Look, here's the boob.

I like to say that I am electively a single.

- All right, Henry. - Henry. - Yeah.

I like his new uniform.

Time to go to church.

Finish your beer. We got Bingo at eight.

- Oh, yes, - ♪ Captain Wonder's ♪

♪ Shit Show Bingo ♪

♪ He's a homeless David Bowie With stale popcorn ♪

All right, ladies and gentlemen, this is Shit Show Bingo.

Fine, fine, fine, fine.

Ladies and gentlemen, we got N39.

N39 cocaine time.

That's right, looking for a little white girl.

- By white girl I mean cocaine. - Bingo!

- She told me, no. - Oh, yeah.

Tanner works at my all-time favorite bar No Bar.

That mustache looks like a rat got stuck on a glue trap.

You look like the bad guy from every '80s movie.

You mind if I plug this in?

- Can't you just get a new one if it dies? - Tanner, it's late.

I can't risk this bad boy dying on me.

There's nothing more embarrassing than a grown man pushing a scooter.

I don't want to call it a dive because it's nicer than a dive, it's a lounge,

just the kind of place you go to hang out.

How about a free drink for your old friend, Gerry.

What are you even doing here, Gerry?

- I eighty-sixed you last week. - He eighty-sixed you last week.

That was last week though. It's this week. Okay.

All right, don't talk about me when I'm gone, please.

Yeah. Bye, Gerry.

Aside from Tanner and, of course, Mr. Perfect,

my third favorite person in Los Angeles is Brandy.

She's an angel sent down for the world but mainly me.

Brandy, how's the film industry?

Brandy is great. Luke's got a really big crush on her.

She's super nice. She's also a porn star.

It's fucking exhausting. I had two jobs today. My back is killing me.

Tanner is convinced that Brandy's in porn.

I don't know. And, honestly, if she does do porn, it doesn't bother me.

I respect her right to do what she wants with her body.

My buddy Luke, he's got a pretty sweet gig. He cleans pools.

Um, he does it part time.

I'm an idea man. I'm an entrepreneur.

Okay, I take an idea and I say, "What do we need to turn the idea into reality?"

What I present to you today

is not just an opportunity to change your bank account or your body.

It's an opportunity to change your life.

I don't get it.

Uh, he likes to say he's an idea guy

but usually his ideas involve getting other people to help him sell, uh, teas,

like weight loss teas.

That's right, I sell tea, herbal weight loss tea. But it really works.

I get two dollars and fifty cents from every sale.

And if I recruit someone else, I get a dollar twenty-five from their sales.

It's incredible, man. The sky is endless.

Is that the right analogy?

Anyway, I am about 25 grand in debt from the stuff

but Nicky Steele says...

It takes money to make other people make money to make you money.

My life is good. I have a job sometimes.

But I come from a family of excellence.

There's a part of me that feels like I am destined for bigger things.

Nicky Steele's herbal weight loss tea

starts generating revenue the minute you sign...

- Why aren't you cleaning the pool? - Jimmy.

What are all these people doing here? What's going on?

Did we hire them? They feel old.

- Do they swim? - I can't swim.

- I thought we were getting a free lunch. - Yeah.

My clients' houses are not a backdrop for your pyramid scheme.

Jimmy, is it really a pyramid scheme if everybody makes money?

Yes.

But, Luke, let's put it this way,

his heart's in the right place but his head it's crammed way up his ass.

I'm sorry I... I liked your dad, Luke, he's a great guy, but this is it, you gotta go.

You're fired.

I guess everyone has their own way of wooing a potential mate.

Tanner has this thing.

Unbelievable.

Dinner and a movie.

Well, dinner and a very specific movie.

A moving drama about the Holocaust.

I hate that this works, but it works.

Call me, Tanner.

May the odds ever be in your favor.

Tanner's really great.

He's, uh, got really great hair and, um...

Dude, it's time for us to do something with our lives.

Look, dude, I support your entrepreneurial spirit.

I really do, but the weight loss tea, no, thanks.

I'm not talking about the tea, okay, I'm talking about a real power move, okay?

I'm talking about something to put us on the map, man, get us out of Reseda.

Let's take... let's take Mr. Perfect and get up to the hills.

Of course, I want to take Mr. Perfect to the hills.

But, dude, I make money to drink and hang out with my friends.

My life is pretty great.

I mean, here's the thing. I like working at the bar.

I do. It's easy. It's fun. I'm flushed with cash.

Hell, half the time I take care of Luke's share of the rent and it doesn't even bother me.

But, um, you know, my liver's got its limitations

and, uh, you know, it's... it's a gig with an expiration date.

What's up big guy? What... what's got you talking like a career counselor?

What are you even doing here right now? Did... did Jimmy fire you again?

The little guy caught me selling my tea to some people I met outside the nursing home.

I need a scream shower.

What's a scream shower?

He thinks I can't hear him.

Screaming.

So then he says to me, "Well, if it's a 401(k) and not a 403(b),

are you really diversified?

Okay, okay, okay, settle down, settle down. Come on. Come on.

Let us pray.

Blessed to be here.

Lord, Father, God, thank you for Ryan

who is striving to create job opportunities for those less fortunate.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you. Thank you.

I'm adopted, which I'm thankful for

but I think my dad always wanted my brother

and he got me and then he got my brother.

And, Luke, he's working in pool sanitation, Lord,

it is really something else.

Lord Father God, we give thanks and praise for all these wondrous and bountiful gifts

in your and Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen. Mm-mm.

Apparently, before Luke came along, our family was pretty well off.

But we're glad to have a brother though, you know.

You know I, uh, been having a little, uh, little drama going on at work myself these days.

What's up, Dad?

Well, as you may or may not be aware,

the attendance of the church has been slowly declining since the late 90's.

Our revenue is based mainly on tithing.

So, when the people disappear, so does the money.

We need 75 grand just to make the rest of the year's rent.

And then, eventually, we're going to need another 100 to fix that roof

that's not getting any better.

You know, what we really need is our own version of Love is Underground.

I believe that those are Wild Wood Brothers over in Charleston made.

Oh, I saw that.

The one where the police officers are stuck in the sewer during a hurricane.

You know, they thought they were gonna die

and then they found Jesus and then they didn't die.

Oh, I love that they don't die.

So, this was a financial success?

Oh, yes, the church funded it, completely paid off their mortgage.

No way.

I'm serious. Look it up.

Love is Underground, stars, um, oh,

oh, and wonderfully devout young man from Growing Pains.

And what is his name, uh...

Kirk Cameron.

It's already made three million dollars.

Oh, it's completely revolutionized the church.

Y'all couldn't have gone into the film business.

Well, anyway, I... I suppose it's my fault.

Uh, your mother, God rest her sweet soul.

Well, she wanted to put you all in commercials

to make some extra money to make up for Luke's adoption fee which was pretty exorbitant.

But, well, anyway, I just couldn't stomach

the thought of my child being the face of yogurt.

Oh, baby girl, this is so good. Thank you. Praise God.

Praise God.

Well, Sally, some people might call this a dead end.

What do you say we make it a cul-de-sac?

Can we cease the fucking Butch Savage marathon, please?

Butch Savage is a great American hero.

Can you name another wrestler slash actor slash independent presidential candidate?

- Whatever. - Brandy, looking great like a brand-new pair of socks.

- What? - Never mind.

Tanner, have you heard of a movie called Love Is Underground?

It's about some cops in the sewer.

I guess I must have missed it.

What about God's Not Dead?

It's a Christian movie starring Kevin Sorbo.

That movie starring Hercules was shot for nothing

and now, it's a multi-million-dollar franchise.

What are you saying? You want to go see a Christian movie?

I want to make a Christian movie.

I want to make the best Christian movie Jesus has ever seen.

Nobody buys movies anymore.

I have over 150 credits all online.

That's where it's at.

Wow, look at this. War Room, 73 million.

Courageous, 33 million.

Fireproof, 35 million.

Christians support anything Christian.

Churches, literally, buy out entire theaters, rent buses,

and take their congregation to see movies.

Faith-based, the entire genre is a gold mine.

Yeah.

- Are you in? - What, "Am I in"?

Dude, this is, um, this is a good idea. This is a really good idea.

But I make margaritas and you clean pools.

Neither one of us know anything about making movies.

Exactly.

She knows a lot about making movies.

Yeah, I do. Thank you. I mean, kind of.

Plus, dude, it seems like a lot of work.

Nicky Steele says...

You work hard, you play hard.

You work harder, you play harder.

You work hardest, you play rock hard.

If I see Nicky Steele, I'm going to kick him in the dick.

Uh, Herman, you want another?

Does a tree shit in the woods if you don't hear it fall?

That's a yes.

I hear you, old timer. Just a five-pound bag of flour make a big ass biscuit.

Holy fucking shit. Tanner!

Hey, man, how you doing?

- No, you still work here? - Yeah, man, it's the best.

Whoa. This guy right here is a fucking legend.

What's it been, like, 10 years now?

No, no, no, like, uh, like seven.

Yeah, give or take daylight saving whatnots.

I mean I remember you man.

First time I met this guy, pay attention future me,

it was Halloween, you were dressed as Napoleon Dynamite.

He had his fucking hair permed and all that shit.

It's flipping sweet.

Man, you were going places.

It was 2007, is that right?

2004.

Who's playing pool, motherfuckers?

Hey, come smell my finger.

I'm in.

Man, look at this one.

This is a farming drama called Jesus Plows.

Oh, wow.

Look, this is a religious NASCAR movie.

That's racing on the streets of gold.

Religious NASCAR.

Or maybe we watch the Firefighter saga,

High Risk Higher Purpose one, two and three.

And if they're making three of those, they're making money.

All of these are made by the same company, it's called Christflix.

I'm gonna email them.

"Dear Sir or Madam,

we are two young gentlemen looking to make a Christian movie

for our Lord and savior's body.

We'd love to meet with you before he is risen.

AKA, at your earliest convenience.

Truly...

Amen, Luke and Tanner."

So, we were thinking, what about a family drama?

You know what, I'm gonna stop you right there. I don't give a shit.

For these movies to make money, it needs four things.

Four.

One, two, three, four.

One, you need an A, B, or C list celebrity who's also a Christian,

at the very least a Republican.

I mean Kirk Cameron, Kevin Sorbo, the fat Superman.

- Dean Cain. He's a real deal actor. - Mm-Hmm.

Two, you need some keywords in the title.

I'm talking purpose, faith, prayer, heaven, Huckabee.

Yeah, yeah, think like, you know, Thoughts & Prayers, the movie , you know.

Or like, uh, Faith and Furious, you know.

Uh, like, uh, Prayer and Prejudice, you know.

I Heart Huckabee.

- I think that one's taken. - Oh, that's actually... I think that is a movie.

But anyway, you know, you get the idea.

Three, peril.

Most people become Christians when they are three years old or if they're faced with death.

So, unless you're going to make the Christian look who's talking,

I need some dire straits.

Yeah, I think hikers lost on Everest, you know, a rodeo clown facing his last bull,

or a homeless woman who discovers that her cat is really her guardian angel

and then the homeless woman turns out to be Kentucky clerk Kim Davis.

That'd be awesome. I'm just spitballing.

But, um, lastly, you got to talk about God.

It doesn't have to be God, God,

you can talk about it like a higher power or just straight up JC.

Bonus points if God's actually in it.

Yeah, but good luck. His agent's a real asshole.

Why do all these Christian movies have to be bad?

They don't have to be bad. They just don't have to be good.

Your dad's gonna buy anything that has Jesus in it somewhere.

Get me a movie with those four things

and I will write you a check for two hundred thousand dollars.

Boom.

I mean why don't you just help us finance our movie?

No.

What kind of sucker would invest in an imaginary dream

that might somehow benefit them in the end?

No.

But if you figure out how to make it, I will buy it

and if it costs less than 200k, you can keep the profits.

Would you mind if I prayed over us real quick?

- I mean, I just feel like... - You know what, no. Fuck no.

So, how do you know this woman?

Um, me and Tiff dated back in 2014.

- Damn. - It ended well.

- Did it? - Pretty well.

Hey, Tanner.

- Hey. - Hi.

How are you doing?

Wow.

- You... you look... you look amazing. - Uh... Hi.

- Hi. Hello. Hi. How are you? - Hi.

I'm... Wow, I'm good.

You are good.

- You are good. Yeah. - Ah... Thanks. Thanks.

Hey, um, where am I?

This is the Encino Velodrome.

It was built in 1962.

They did the Olympic trials here.

That's Henry, he practices on Sundays.

That's great. Wow.

So, uh, what's... what's going on?

Why'd you call?

Um, we want to make a movie.

We're going to make a movie.

We're... we're going to make a movie

and, uh, we thought it would be smart to enlist the help of a filmmaker friend.

Tanner told me all about your short film at Sundance. Sounds awesome.

I... wanted to preface just kind of by saying what we're about to tell you is a great opportunity.

Who is this?

- Um, this, you might remember, is my friend Luke. - I'm Luke.

- Luke. Oh. - Mm-hmm.

Um, wow.

- Yeah, so you and Luke want to make a movie. - Mm-hmm.

Do you have a director who's directing?

- Co... - You're... you're directing with him?

Do you have a script?

- Writing it. - Working on it.

- Okay, you're gonna write a script. - Mm-hmm.

Do you have a producer?

You know you need a producer, right?

Like, you have to have somebody who can connect all the dots and make all the things happen.

You gotta get your shit together, guys.

What about post-production? Have you thought about that?

Have you thought about who's gonna do your editing?

You've got color correction to deal with. You've got special effects.

- Mm-hm. Tiffany. - Yeah.

You are so smart.

Will you help us, please?

Please, please, please, will you help us? Come on.

We want to make a really good movie.

Only because you are still clearly doing CrossFit,

- your abs are popping, I... I will help you a little bit. - Okay.

What are you doing later?

You know what I'm doing later.

- Yeah. I don't feel great. - Okay.

Hey, you two tried, uh, not sucking at this?

Okay.

- These guys, every fucking Tuesday. - Every fucking Tuesday.

Anyway, I think we write something original.

You know it's like, uh, Shawshank.

It's a guy in prison, he doesn't want to be there anymore and so, he breaks out.

- It's cliché. - Yeah.

You two are getting schooled by this rookie, I found.

You seen this guy? Call him Scottish Thor.

Found him up at this, uh, liquor store up Lankershim.

Guy was already holding an ax in his hand.

Perfect.

Come on, go play dart.

- Every Tuesday, he's the worst. - Every Tuesday, these guys.

So, what do you want to do? You just write something ourselves?

No man, Nicky Steele says...

You really want the job done, you've got to do it...

All by yourself. Yeah, I know.

Hey, Nicky Steele doesn't rely on other people.

Nicky Steele should have relied on a lawyer.

The guy spent years in prison before he came up with the tea scam.

Apples and oranges, Tanner.

Apples and...

oranges.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

- Huh? - Yo, where you at?

The crew's going to be here any minute?

Shit! Dude, I'm sorry I totally blanked.

Why are you out of breath?

What?

Wait, is that Gaga in the background?

Yeah, that's definitely a weight dropping. Dude, are you doing CrossFit?

What? No, no, no, that's crazy.

It's too much, man. You gotta stop.

There is nothing weird about it.

Great job, Tanner. Awesome elbows.

Dude.

Okay, listen up, just gather up the troops

and I'll be there in an hour to pound out the script.

There they are, the mighty ducks.

Why do we need to do this on Monday?

Jesus, Herman.

It's Saturday, man.

Yeah, I guess my eyes are bigger than my liver.

Uh, well, right now, I'm, uh, working on this movie.

Beer.

- There he is. - Oh.

Ah, Luke's offered to, uh, pay me with, uh, free drinks and, uh, that's fine.

Isn't it a little early?

I don't need a clock to tell me I'm thirsty.

I think I have a lot to offer. Um, I'm... I mean, I'm in the film industry,

so, I have a lot of hands-on experience, um, myself.

But, like if this were Dumb and Dumber,

Tanner would be the dumb and Luke would definitely be the dumber.

So, it could be a giant shit show.

We're going to assign some tasks.

This is a little thing my filmmaking for dummies book calls pre-production.

I can tell you one thing.

We're going to need a green screen.

Marlon, how hard would it be to blow up something?

I have an idea. For such an epic in shot it could only be pulled off by someone...

Somebody who specializes in explosives in Iraq War Part 1.

Exactly.

Give me the date of the shoot, motherfucker.

I asked Luke what the fuck is a faith-based movie.

He said, no, you know, essentially, it's about religion

and keep those answers short because if you start getting I...

I lose my concentration.

Brandy, some problems can only be solved over a meal.

- PJ's Diner has a special... - Not gonna happen.

Okay.

Let's talk cameras.

Who here understands how they work?

Gotta get some det cord.

Yeah, is, uh, Mel Harris still alive?

Mel?

Mel, this is Herman.

I know it's been like 35 years,

but I've got a picture that I'm producing here I'd really like you to be a part of it.

- Let's think prayer. - Mm-hm.

Where have we never seen one done?

Uh, prayer and war.

They pray in like every war movie.

Saving Private Ryan, Platoon.

Blow up a tank, a jeep.

What about a prayer at sea?

Titanic. Sharknado.

I blew up a whale one time.

You know what movie they never pray in?

Alien.

A prayer in space.

Blow up alien.

The first prayer ever to be prayed in space.

An astronaut stuck on Mars

being chased by aliens and crazy creatures shouts out to her creator...

"Lord, save me from these space monsters."

And whose face burst through the clouds to save her?

God!

- God. - God.

We've got the crew. We're working on the cast.

Now we just need to find the golden goose.

That means money. We're looking for money.

All right. So then, it's like...

...the spaceship lands perfectly on Mars.

Boom.

This has been a Luke and Tanner production.

Uh, it's beautiful.

Hey, how are you thinking we finance this thing?

We, like, try to get a loan or talk to a rich friend?

Dude, you remember what Jane said?

She said what kind of suckers would give money to some sort of imaginary dream

in hopes that in the end it would benefit them?

Yeah, but Nicky Steele says...

Don't bother finding the people who believe in you.

Find the people who believe in the idea of you and the idea of your ideas.

Hey dad, I'm with Tanner.

What's your weekend look like?

♪ I hung a cross To remember you by ♪

♪ It's eight feet tall And six feet wide ♪

♪ To remember The things you said ♪

♪ I hung it over my bed ♪

♪ That monstrosity That was your tomb ♪

♪ Oh, it takes up Most of the room ♪

♪ I hung a huge cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ And if it fell When I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

♪ Because they hung... ♪

This one pours a hazy golden yellow color with a white head that clings to the glass,

aroma of rye and spice and even some grassy notes.

It's coffee?

Oh, yes.

Grown in Chile in the southernmost...

I just want a coffee.

But why Guatemala?

Because, basically, it's sunny in Guatemala 270 days a year.

Seriously, that many.

- Two hundred and seventy? - Yeah.

Um, have you ever seen a little movie called Schindler's List?

It's church.

Come to see if my dad...

All right, put your hands up, Elevates.

How big is your love?

- My love is big. - Yeah, my love is big, too.

You know whose love is the biggest?

- Christ's. - Wow.

So, how big is your love?

And how big is your cross?

- There's a symbol of that love. - I'll just sit in the back.

I've a very, very small room but my cross is still enormous.

It's big.

- It's enormous. - Oh, Jesus.

Here we go.

♪ If I had a life-size cross ♪

♪ It could hold A real human being ♪

♪ And in my living room I built a huge ♪

♪ Nativity scene I hung a monster cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ It's so pure If it fell when I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure ♪

Thank you.

All right, you can have a seat, Elevate Church.

Hello, Elevate.

Let's give it up one more time for the Incredible Band.

Right.

Well, before you all leave,

I do want to let you know what our mission's team members were up to.

Did you guys... Did you guys see that?

She was looking like right at me.

So, that's it for today, you guys. Have a wonderful Sunday.

And remember, stay woke.

I want to get out of here as soon as possible.

Hey. Aloha, amigos, welcome to Elevate.

I'm Hoyt.

Is this your first time here?

Elevate is a community of people just looking to do life together.

Anyway, we're just here to meet my dad.

He's actually the pastor here.

Oh, you're Pastor Michael's son?

- Yeah, I'm Pastor Michael's son. - Wow.

But he's...

You know and you're not...

I'm adopted.

Oh.

- Jesus. - Oh, easy, bud.

Listening.

We're good guy.

Let's go find my dad.

You're not gonna believe this.

Christflix said they'll give us two hundred thousand dollars.

We split it, 50/50.

Elevate pays off their mortgage.

Tanner and I get a film career and you would be the executive producer.

We do an offering, like you do for the mission's trips.

What's the budget of this so-called movie?

Um, we're gonna need food, cameras, um, sound design.

Sound design. Sound design has to be epic.

- It's gotta be right up there with Sharknado. - Yeah.

You know, that's the....

- Yeah, so probably at least a thousand there, maybe. - Yeah.

Also, the actor's probably gonna be pricey.

We're planning to get some real star power.

Nobody wants to watch a movie starring somebody they don't know.

You boys clearly haven't thought this through.

Actually, Sir, we have.

What do you two even know about making a movie?

We... we know everything about movies.

I've been watching movies in your basement since I was seven.

You do realize that watching a movie and making movie...

Never mind, Lord.

Tanner, did you know that I had to get Luke that pool cleaning job

from the man who cleans our baptismal?

And I told Jimmy my son was reliable.

Guess what Jimmy told me last week?

That good help is hard to come by, impossible even.

Tanner, look, now, I'm not worried about you, but Luke...

Well, come on, son, let's face it,

we all know that you love finding a deal that's too good to be true.

I mean, you should see the stack of tea I have in my closet down and, oh, floor to ceiling, son.

Floor to ceiling.

Dad, we can do this.

We just need a little help.

This could be like that church in South Carolina.

Okay?

Your version of Love is Undergroun.

We could save the church.

We could be your Wild Wood Brothers.

I... suppose you could.

But let's be honest, boys...

you'll not.

You know how a lot of people say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

when it comes to kids and their parents?

Well, with Luke and his dad, it's like Luke, the apple, was falling out of the tree

but before it hit the ground, somebody grabbed it

and then chunked it into the neighbor's yard

because they're not alike at all.

- He never saw potential in me. - That's not true.

No, it is true. My dad's the nicest guy in the world to everybody but me.

When we were in the fourth grade.

Ryan wanted to do a lemonade stand, okay.

Bought the lemons, set up a table, made a colorful sign.

I went to do it and my dad stopped me.

He said, "We can't risk what happened with the boy scouts happening again."

What happened with the boy scouts?

There's a reason they don't sell cookies anymore.

It's time to show my dad what we can do.

What?

Let's sell these people on funding our dream.

You want to take advantage of these people?

- I want to help them. - We're gonna...

I got an idea.

Matthew, Mark, Luke and...

Uh, Tanner.

Tanner, this is Troy.

He's done the videos of my dad's church for like 20 years.

He went to film school.

The Oxnard School for the Cinematic Arts.

The Oxnard School.

Troy, Tanner and I want to make an incredible Christian feature film.

We were thinking you could help us,

show the church people our potential.

The Prodigal Son Returns.

But to reach the flock, he needs a master.

Okay.

Oh, um, Luke and I know a lot about movies,

we just don't know a lot about making a Christian movie.

I think you've come to the right Christian, filmmaker.

Now, if there's one thing I learned at Oxnard School for the Cinematic Arts,

it's that if you want to make a feature film, you've got to start with a short...

A short what?

A short film.

All right, next.

Hi. My name is Rheagann and I really like space.

- I love kids, man. Kids are honest. - Yeah.

Hey, big nose, you got a big nose.

- You set up these auditions? - Look, you said kids were honest.

You look like if you took off your glasses, your nose would come with it.

Thank you very much. You did great.

You look like if Draco Malfoy drank Monster and listened to Nickelback.

- Hear me. - We gotta find somebody to play God.

What do you think about Hulk Hogan?

Oh, Christermania, brother.

Next.

How dost thou leave thine craft mindfully towards the heavens.

Thou art not one with Earth and yet art.

I didn't understand a whole lot of it but it sounded like music.

- I'm classically trained, so. - Oh.

Midpoint montage.

See what I'm doing?

- When it's separate? - Yes, exactly.

And then together, they learn and they go.

Act three.

Okay, do we have to do that now?

Next.

I believe the best way to experience space is through dance.

Five, six, seven, eight.

What are you doing later? Are you busy?

Oh, man, you think...

you think there's any chance Butch Savage would do this movie?

Butch Savage would be the all-time win.

Wide shot, medium, close-up, extreme close-up.

When you look back and you see only one set of footprints,

my astronaut, that is when I carried you.

It's good.

It's really good.

Yeah.

Do you think it's epic enough?

I mean, it's pretty epic.

What else? What else could go in there?

I asked for a fucking God wig. This is like Gandalf.

I think we got to get an actor, man.

You think we try Stallone, Chuck Norris?

We could get... we could get Butch Savage.

Butch Savage.

Motherfucker won't last a day in Iraq.

Well, you know, I actually heard that Butch Savage is Born Again.

- Oh, no way. - Mm-hm.

Look... look what just came up on the Google!

It's a Butch Savage commercial about the church.

- Did he just say the Google? - He did, yeah.

I'm Butch Savage and I like to pray.

Where? Costa Mesa, Grace Bible Church of the Most High,

where we are getting jacked for Jesus,

shredded for Solomon, absolutely abdominal for Abraham.

Chicken for Christ.

Mm. Both powerful.

I choose this.

Holy shit.

I'm gonna call. We gotta call.

Grace Bible Church of the Most High reflecting God's love since 1964.

Yeah, hi. Uh, is Butch Savage there?

Butch Savage? Why would he be here right now?

We're doing a Christian movie, uh,

and we'd love to cast Butch in the role of God.

Well, this is his church, not his agent.

I'm sorry, maybe I wasn't clear. This is a...

It's an independent film, we're funding it mainly out of pocket but we were...

She hung up.

Dude, we got to get Butch Savage.

Hey, I'm calling because I saw that you worked with Butch Savage.

I'm trying to get his phone number.

I'm just no good at asking people for money, you know.

I know, but I run the announcements so we can do an offering there to fund it.

I'm telling you, everyone would be really excited about it.

- Do you mean like in the main service? - Yeah.

Stick with me.

- That's crazy. - I know.

So, when I'm doing yogurt, I like to put as many...

Son of a bitch.

No, not you.

Mr. Perfect. Mr. Perfect.

Evidently, preachers and bartenders have a lot more in common than you may think.

Why? Because if they both do their job right, they're making at least 10 percent.

- Hello, Elevate. - So, what we're gonna do

is take a little bit of that preacher tip,

put it in the prayer and space pocket.

Before you guys leave today, I want to share a very special video with you

from two of our newest members, Luke and Tanner.

Enjoy.

This is Houston Contact with a test One, two, three, four...

...four, three, two, one.

Troy, what the itchy double hockey sticks is this? Turn that off.

When you see only one set of footprints,

it was then my astronaut I carried.

Christian movies are a great way to impact the world

and they're also very lucrative.

Now, obviously, all of us have eternal security

but financial security is also very important.

We've been working really hard on a story about an astronaut who finds God

only after being pushed to her limits by desperation.

And space monsters.

Um, we've started the casting process, which is a little tricky,

we want to get the right actors for the right roles.

Ladies and gentlemen, in the role of God,

I present to you Butch Savage.

I have to be honest right now with myself.

We don't exactly 100 percent have Butch Savage.

So... so to make this movie, which could impact the lives of millions,

we're going to take up an offering today.

So, let's make it a reality.

There's two offering buckets upfront, if you're feeling generous.

We really appreciate it.

Have a wonderful Sunday.

Dude, you got Butch Savage?

Luke got Butch Savage. Oh, my gosh. I am so excited.

Butch Savage has been my favorite actor since I was a kid.

Luke's my best friend.

Do you know how you're actually gonna...

Yeah, I'm thinking like Jessica Chastain, Matt Damon in the Martian

but not Jessica Chastain and Matt Damon in Interstellar. You know?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah. I like it. - Yeah.

- You want to... you want to run it? - Let's do it.

Okay.

I think we overdid it with the green screen suits.

What?

No way. All these people walking around, you got to be safe.

A Prayer in Space, day one could not be going better.

We're talking green screen suits.

These things fit like a fucking glove.

I look like an Avenger.

Let's try one. Let's... let's get one of these going. Astronaut, you ready?

Yeah.

Get in there.

Uh, camera's spinning. Sound, how we feeling?

Sound is feeding.

The movie's great, the script's great, Tanner's great

and, you know, it's hard to make something bad that's about God and praising Him.

And I'm excited for everyone to see it.

- Ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-row your boat. - Action!

Do I sound like a director?

Cut!

Moving on. Action!

Action!

All right.

Action, astronaut!

Hey, Mom, we're finally here.

On Mars?

Yeah, Mom, on Mars.

It's pretty scary.

Always remember, if you're ever feeling alone or end up actually alone on Mars,

God is always with you.

Come on, Mom, I am a scientist now.

I'm not allowed to believe in God anymore.

And cut!

Fucking perfect.

Stinking perfect.

- That was really good. - Felt good.

- Yeah, yeah. - That one felt good.

Yes.

We're saving Butch Savage to the end, right?

Oh, yeah, last day.

Gives us time to really grease the wheels.

I, honestly, have no idea if he's gonna show up at all.

I... I've left close to a hundred messages.

Nicky Steele says...

The only thing standing between you and your dreams

is you and your dreams.

Action, astronaut!

Mom, the crew is gone.

All of them.

You're alone?

I'm alone, Mom, on Mars.

Oh, don't be scared, it's just me Herman.

And I'm having a great time.

Did you see that space monster?

Uh...

- Uh, back to one. - Okay.

Ah, the only reason that I'm here, it's Tanner.

I don't know, I guess I... I felt bad for them.

Okay, I'm gonna go back in there, pretend like I care.

So, that was her crying out.

Now we've just got God coming through the heavens.

- And the explosion. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

What do you think he likes to be called?

BS, the Savage.

I think, it's probably just Butch, you know.

Anyway, stop worrying, okay.

Butch is gonna show up and he's going to crush it.

Okay, this guy's a pro, you know.

It's what pros do. I'm positive.

I got a missed call from the old lady.

I was hoping it was about Butch Savage.

But the voicemail just said, "Is my prescription ready?"

I don't know what that means.

That's a wrap on week one, everybody.

Let's go to bingo.

Hey, jungle monster, I don't think you have a balanced diet.

You needed more lead.

All right, first pull out of the soup shoot, pay attention.

We got B-6, 6, 6.

Hail Satan.

Dude, where's Tanner?

I'm sure he's on his way.

Yeah, so it's just G, C, D, you're throwing some lyrics

about God equals nature type stuff, everybody cries.

- Yeah. Cool. - Yeah.

All right, you want to play some tunes?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - All right.

Maybe let's pray first.

Okay.

All right.

Cool.

So, the entire crew goes into the cave

- but only the astronaut comes out. - Okay.

And then we...

Hey, man, uh, I was talking with some of the crew

and, uh, we've got some, uh, some notes for the script.

You asked for notes?

Well, I mean Hoyt was talking about the astronaut's arc and how...

Yes, the astronaut's arc is one of the best aspects of the film.

But what if she reconnects with her mom right before the space mons...

We're good on notes, guy.

Actually, dude, Hoyt writes on a FOX show.

He's got some really great ideas to make this thing pop.

I think A Prayer in Space is just the beginning for Tanner.

I think this is really just gonna be a...

a launching pad for him, you know, into space.

Dude, we have to stick to the original vision

or this whole thing could go off the rails.

And between you and I, Hoyt is weirding me out.

Hoyt is trying to help us.

That's what we have Herman for.

That's what we have Tiffany for.

Um-um, don't bring me into this.

Actually, Tanner, I've been meaning to bring up the whole bar crew situation.

Look, I only have two goals in life,

that's to make the best Christian movie that's ever been made and to marry Brandy.

Dude, Brandy is never going to.

Never mind.

Can you believe that shit?

I've never said Luke is right about anything

but I gotta tell ya, Luke is right.

Hoyt, mm-hmm, not to be trusted.

They don't blink, none of them, they just...

No, no, no, nobody goes inside without wearing one of these.

Excuse me?

It doesn't make any sense to me either.

No, no, no, no, young lady, I am not putting that on.

Okay, so, uh, why don't you just wait right here and, um, I'll go and get them.

Luke, Tanner.

- Pastor Mike. - Hey, boys, happy last day.

Hey.

Yeah. Where's Butch Savage? Can't wait to meet him.

Uh, the Savage is in his dressing room. Right?

- Yeah, of course. - Okay, okay.

Oh, FYI, I saw one of your crew members pouring alcohol into his coffee.

Herman.

Well, anyway, look, I... I only have an hour and I wanted me Butch.

And come on, it's time.

- Before we do that... - Let's go meet him.

I've been waiting all day.

- Okay, let's go. - Come on.

Hey, Butch Savage, are you sleeping?

My father is here. He wants to meet you.

Sorry, come back another time.

What the fuck?

Uh, Butch or... or, uh, Mr. Savage, this is Pastor Mike.

Our church funded this little mission

and, uh, I'm such a big fan and all

and well, I was just wondering, I would love to come in and just say a little quick hello.

Just a minute.

I'm doing Savage sit-ups.

Something's off.

Something's off my butt.

Busted.

Oh, I knew it.

It's not that, Dad.

It's just not clear from the agent.

Uh, he's got the whole day to show up.

Oh, Luke, I am ashamed. How could you, son.

You know we can't afford to be just donating money.

I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to shut this down.

Dad, it's the last day. We can still finish.

Look, I can play God or Jesus,

the prodigal son that's come down from heaven to fix all the problems.

Ladies and gentlemen, my son...

Well, I'm guessing he convinced you all to be part of this little movie

by promising something he clearly could not deliver.

I'm sorry you've all wasted your time.

But the movie is cancelled.

Tanner, thank you for being so nice to my son.

But you might want to consider getting yourself some more trustworthy friends.

Some people just never seem to change.

Fuck.

I need a drink. No Bar?

We were so close to finishing.

We can still finish, man.

Your dad just canceled us.

I can't believe you didn't get Butch. You told me you got Butch.

I just know how much you love him, okay, all the marathons.

I didn't want to disappoint you.

Luke, we're supposed to be teammates.

Teammates have to communicate in order to work. There's no lying in team.

Besides, I could use a break.

What does Nicky Steele have to say about this one?

Hey, at least there's one good thing left in the world.

You want to go get a drink?

Thanks, Luke.

Now that the shoot is canceled, I guess I have to go back to my other projects.

We don't wake up this early.

Mr. Perfect heard you.

I told you, this is the only time I could help you move.

You're helping a buddy move or you're leading a meeting of the Dead Poets Society.

Why are you being so weird?

Come on, Mr. Perfect.

Let's see what daddy number two is really doing.

What the fuck?

This is the address but I don't see a moving truck.

Do you?

Okay, so then he says,

"Hey, silly boy, I think your fish put on a few pounds."

I get it.

What the hell is going on?

Sorry, friend, I think you're in the wrong abode.

I'm at the right abode all right ,funny guy.

Tanner, what the fuck is this shit, man?

Uh, guys, I... I am very sorry.

Can we talk about this outside?

Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry.

Luke, I joined a small group that some of the younger people from the church hosts.

What the fuck is a small group, man? They didn't look small.

They looked fucking normal size to me.

No, it's...

Look, it's just a smaller gathering than the Sunday service, okay?

We get together, we talk about life, uh, we help each other out, it's awesome.

This is officially the only thing worse than CrossFit, man.

All right, look, man, I wanted to invite you

but I don't know with your dad and stuff, you clearly hate this.

My dad.

Fuck you, man.

Come on, Jolene, not now.

Not now.

The battery life on these things is just...

Are you okay?

I'm fucking fine.

Mr. Perfect and I have never been better.

Uh, I'm sorry, guys.

Yeah, I thought we were getting robbed or something.

It's kind of weird. I've never seen him like that.

Let's lighten the mood.

All right, let's get back to Romans.

"The result was that their foolish minds became dark and confused.

Claiming themselves to be wise without God,

they became utter fools, instead.

And then, instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God,

they took wood and stone and made idols for themselves."

No way!

So really, I just wanted you two to meet.

Tanner here is one of the funniest guys I know.

He's an actor, a writer, director.

He's a creator.

Well, you guys know it's a tough business

but I got the feeling that you guys are even tougher.

So, what are you thinking like comedy, drama?

Oh, um, is it too soon to reboot Two and a Half Men?

Yeah, like a... like a really intelligent poignant comedy.

All right, and next fall we got Dirty 30.

Dirty 30, I-30.

Bingo!

Proud of you, buddy.

Make sure you get at the micro fungus. It hides in the cracks.

It's sneaky. But that's the good stuff.

I tied up the hose the way you like.

You still going over to Riverside?

No.

Come here.

Come here.

Where I'm about to send you is a gift.

A gift given to you by me, Jimmy.

And it's one that will change your life.

This, my young friend, is my best customer.

Traditionally, I'd handle it myself

but my daughter is up for American Ninja Warrior teen edition

and I want to be able to give her my good juju.

Yeah, okay, cool. It's no problem.

"Yeah. Okay, cool. No problem."

No, that's not gonna cut it.

I need this man's pool to sparkle.

I need it to look like a bee has never died in it.

I need it to look like not one kid has ever taken the tugboat

to brown town in the shallow end.

I need it to look like the Olympics.

And I'm not talking about the shitty ones that took place in Russia

where they killed all the dogs. No.

I am talking about motherfucking Sydney.

Okay, I'm on it.

My man.

That last meeting, you killed it in there. You know that.

I... I feel like it went really well.

And these new head shots, they look great. You look great.

You're gonna be on a show in no time. I know it.

Dude, thank you so much, um, honestly, I...

I... I've never felt so good about the way things are moving.

You don't have to thank me.

If anything, I... I appreciate what we have here.

It's been really great spending so much time with you.

Yeah.

Um, well you know, fingers crossed, it all works out.

I truly think God put you in my life for a reason.

God is good.

Oh, okay, I'm... I'm sorry.

Hoyt, you know about me and Lisa.

I, uh, I guess I... I misread something.

You know, it's fine.

Let's just forget it ever happened.

Let's go grab a bite.

Hoyt, I'm...

I'm gonna go.

You know, you look like, um,

You look like a really handsome version of Owen Wilson.

Welcome, friend.

I'm so glad you decided to join us.

You know, when you hold these kinds of parties...

...sometimes, only the weirdos show up.

I'm actually here to clean the pool.

My God

So wrong of me to assume you were part of the lifestyle.

Well, welcome.

Ah, the Roman bath could really use some scrubbing.

Hey, I gotta ask.

You're Nicky Steele, aren't you?

Why are you following me?

Who do you work for, fucker?

CIA? IRS? Yelp?

Oh, I actually work for you.

Sales.

Oh. Shit. Hey, guy, you got to speak up.

What do you know about the yo-yo?

Not much, I guess.

Then I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

The key to success is the yo-yo.

Check it. It goes down, it goes up.

It can walk the dog. It can go around the world.

But at the end of the day, it always rises back up to its little blue home.

Now, you being a fine tea salesman,

you spend your days talking about tea, talking about weight loss,

but you do it, so that at the end of the day,

you can go to your little blue home.

Now you keep at it and one day, that home is going to look just like this.

What a relief.

Man, I didn't know what to expect.

I walk in, I get kicked in the balls, you know,

but is there anything you could give me to increase my sales?

Well, yes.

It's all about recruitment.

Selling the tea is for suckers. You got to sell the sellers. Check it.

You sell bucks worth of tea, what do you get?

- Five bucks? - 250.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, 250. Now, let's say, you recruit your buddy and he sells 50 bucks,

you get a buck and a quarter for doing nothing, all right?

Plus, you make money on the inventory you have to sell him.

You get money from him twice.

So it really is a pyramid scheme?

Pyramids are great, guy, if you're on top.

You want to take a real little peek into the Nicky Steele crystal ball?

You want to see what the future of entrepreneurial sales is really like?

Do you?

- Do you? - Yeah.

Yeah.

Shazam, the Amish.

Any questions?

Yes.

So, the... the future of entrepreneurial sales

is the one group of people that doesn't believe in technology?

These guys can't do shit, they can't smoke, they can't get high,

they can't get drunk, they can't see tits,

except for one year when they turn and they go on Rumspringa.

And these bad boys are ready to burst.

Now who do you think the first person they see is going to be?

You?

No.

You.

The minute they step off the compound,

the first person they're gonna see is you and you have got a kit.

Five hundred bucks buys them a bottle of Nicky Steele vodka,

a carton of Nicky Steele cigarettes,

a genuine certified Nicky Steele vape pen.

Oh, Chihuahua.

And a coupon for 30 minutes with Destiny.

Not that these bad boys are gonna need 30 minutes.

It's gonna be the quickest 25 dollars she ever made.

So, the future is swindling the Amish, making readymade Rumspringa's?

Readymade Rumspringa.

Readymade Rumspringa.

Fuck me.

Would you just sign that?

Don't worry, I will photocopy your signature onto a legal document at another time

because you, my friend, have just made yourself a fast one-y honey.

Yeah.

I'm going to need the yo-yo back, too.

Thank you.

Hey, man, can... can we talk?

It's been a weird couple of weeks.

Honestly, aspects of it are great.

You know, the, uh, community sense of something bigger than yourself,

it's like a, uh, healthier less drunk version of the bar.

Dude, I get it, man, I grew up there.

I think I'm less jaded by the people than the religion.

Hmm.

Half of them babysat me.

I do like how the people at your dad's church don't

try to pretend like they know everything

or try to shove it all down my throat.

Just the rules, you know, this idea of being afraid to be who you really are.

Hey, man, are we cool?

We're cool.

You look like the Lannister that works at Urban Outfitters.

You look like Sean Penn if you couldn't change a tire and he had a nut allergy.

Shit.

Check it out.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, okay.

This might be our best one yet.

Why did I have to be Khaleesi?

Hello.

Yeah.

Are you serious?

Well, no, no, exactly. What... what role is bigger than God?

Wow.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, thank you.

We're back on.

Thank you all so much

for coming out to the last day of filming A Prayer in Space.

Now, you may or may not believe in God,

but it's clear that you believe in us.

Now, we all have our differences, especially you and I, Hoyt,

but there's one thing that the church

and the bars have in common, that's community.

So, let's come together and crush this.

Marlon, how are we looking with the explosives?

TNT, baby.

The bad boys are straight out of 1991 and they're packing motherfucking heat.

Great. We're gonna need to get this shot off before he gets here.

We've got an hour.

- Hey. - Hmm?

Bring it in. Bring it in. Space shot.

- What's the frame for this per shot like kind of... - Shh.

I made a hot sexy mistake with my best friend

but this movie is bigger than me.

It's bigger than any of us.

I mean it's, you know, so...

He... he called it a sexy mistake?

I mean, that's a compliment.

Okay, we're gonna need all hands on deck.

- You, too, Tiff. - Hmm?

Get in there.

- Oh, - Need you in.

Come on.

Everybody in position.

All right, here we go.

Action, space monsters!

And action, explosives!

And action, explosives!

I don't know what you want from me, motherfuckers.

This shit is like 30 years old.

Okay, guys, it's fine, just crop out the explosives

and I'll add that in VFX.

I can fix this whole thing in the edit.

You know how to edit?

Uh, yeah, I'm an editor.

Worked for Nat Geo, Disney, Marvel.

I mean, I do all their digital content.

What... what did you guys think I did?

- Oh. - But I talk about it all the time.

I'm so sorry.

He's here.

Oh, my gosh. Dude, that is so much fun. You're totally right.

- In the future, cars won't even exist. - Yeah, yeah.

wait, wait, wait, wait, I've got another piece of big news.

- To PR your backspot? - Yes.

Um, actually I...

I think I'm gonna ask Lisa to marry me.

- No shit. - Yeah.

I'm happy for you, man.

- Thanks. Thanks. - Genuinely.

Thank you. Um, will you be my best man?

Who else are you gonna ask? Herman?

Fair point.

Hey, reps for Jesus, right?

- Yeah? - The shirts are perfect.

Let's get in there.

Are you ready for this?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We made a movie.

We made a movie.

Uh, Elevate Church, thank you so much for coming.

Uh, before we get started, Luke and I just wanted to say a real quick thank you.

Um, we put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this over the last few months

and none of it would be possible without you.

So, thank you. Thank you very much.

And now, without further ado,

the world premiere screening of A Prayer in Space,

the story of the first prayer ever to be prayed in space.

Enjoy the movie, everybody.

Hey, Mom, we're finally here.

On Mars?

Yeah, Mom, on Mars.

It's pretty scary.

Always remember, if you're ever feeling alone

or end up actually alone on Mars, God is always with you.

Come on, Mom, you know I'm a scientist.

I'm not allowed to believe in God anymore.

Mom, the crew is gone.

All of them.

I'm alone on Mars.

Lord, save me from these space monsters.

Astronaut, you have come closer to touching the hand of God

than any other astronaut before you.

Leap up and use the lower gravitational pull to fly yourself toward me.

You are the first astronaut to give a prayer in space

and I have heard you loud and clear.

Heaven, the final, final frontier.

Boom.

Mom, my body is coming back home and my soul is coming back to Jesus.

With this check for one hundred thousand dollars,

you two have saved our mortgage and our church.

Now, I'll admit I had my doubts.

But at the end of the day, I will always invest in family.

My dad, eventually, came around.

In fact, he saved the movie.

And even though we didn't get Butch Savage, Christflix still bought it.

I love you, Son.

Now, I know we've had our differences, but I am truly, truly proud of you.

Love you.

Thank you, Son.

And to you, our wonderful congregation,

I am so glad that you all felt the same way.

Thank you for investing in our church family.

Now, we still desperately need to fix that roof.

So please, please pray that we find the funds.

But for now, what did you all think of the film?

♪ There is a world up above us ♪

♪ And man, it's pretty great ♪

♪ Yeah, clouds and golden walkways ♪

♪ And around it there's a gate ♪

♪ But you got to ignore The doorman ♪

♪ If you wanna get inside ♪

♪ 'Cause we got boots On the ground in the sky ♪

Could I have used the 50 grand?

Sure.

But Jimmy gave me back my pool gig.

And my dad, well, it's the least I could do.

Something else will come along.

Oh, uh, you and your dad are hanging out a lot together now which is cool.

You've got a weekly activity.

Guy throws some mean axe.

Deep breath, follow through it. It's in the follow through. Come on, son.

Ah... Yes.

Oh. That's all right, that's all right.

You'll get it next time. You'll get it next time.

He probably won't get it next time.

Actually, he hasn't gotten it ever.

Hey, where's your little blond bitch?

Excuse me, Sir, now, this young man that you're talking to,

well, he happens to be my son.

So, if you're looking for his little blond bitch,

all you need to know is that I am the little blond bitch now.

So, why don't you go throw your hatchet?

♪ 'Cause we got boots On the ground up here ♪

♪ Oh we got boots on the ground In the sky ♪

♪ There's an army Keepin' a watch for you and I ♪

Hey, pause, I got a missed call.

Hi, Luke. My name is Sarah Watkins and I work for the Syfy Channel.

A Prayer in Space, it blew us away.

I was really sad they replaced your dad with Kevin Sorbo though.

We'd like to talk to you and Tanner about Sharknado 12 .

We want you two to write and direct. Call me back when you get this.

♪ Boots on the ground in the sky ♪

Yeah, so, uh, after making the movie, Herman got sober.

- For... for a while. - For a little bit.

And that first communion came around and hit him hard.

Lot of wine.

And Brandy, she saved our movie.

She really did.

Turns out she's an editor for a lot of very reputable companies.

And we brought Marlon on to Sharknado 12.

So...

...the guy finally got his explosion.

Yeah!

♪ I hung a cross To remember you by ♪

♪ It's eight feet tall And six feet wide ♪

♪ To remember The things you said ♪

♪ I hung it over my bed ♪

♪ That monstrosity That was your tomb ♪

♪ Oh, it takes up Most of the room ♪

♪ I hung a huge cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ And if it fell When I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

♪ Because they hung you For your gospel of love ♪

♪ I added paint To simulate blood ♪

♪ And nails And remnants of hair ♪

♪ And pieces of the shroud You did wear ♪

♪ And because some still Do not believe ♪

♪ My roommates They asked me to leave ♪

♪ I hung a huge cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so deep ♪

♪ And now I dream about you Dying every time I sleep ♪

♪ I hung a life-size cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ And if it fell When I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

Come on.

Everybody now.

How big is your love?

Jesus' love was big.

It was big enough for all of us.

So, how big is your love?

And how big is your cross?

It's a symbol of that love.

And don't tell me you just have a small house, a small room.

My room is very small but my cross is still enormous.

Enormous.

Everyone...

♪ I hung a huge cross ♪

♪ 'Cause your love's so deep ♪

♪ Because your love is so deep ♪

♪ And now I dream ♪

♪ And now I dream about you Dying every time I sleep ♪

♪ I hung a life-size cross ♪

♪ It could hold A real human being ♪

♪ And in my living room I built a huge nativity scene ♪

♪ I hung a monster cross ♪

♪ Because your love's so pure ♪

♪ It's so pure ♪

♪ And if it fell When I was sleeping ♪

♪ I'd be crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure Crushed for sure ♪

♪ Crushed for sure ♪

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