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1
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Someone once said, "We don't
stop playing because we grow old.
2
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"We grow old because we stop playing."
3
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When you're a kid, you can't imagine
having any other group of friends.
4
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,053
You think you're gonna be
buddies forever.
5
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:52,227
Of course, for most people,
that just doesn't happen.
6
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:57,145
But my friends and I,
we figured out a way around that.
7
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We just never stopped playing.
8
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:04,031
And I like to think that simple thing,
playing a game,
9
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:07,656
is what made me the man I am today.
10
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,784
So the man you are today
wants to be a janitor.
11
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Yes.
12
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,421
Look, Doctor Malloy,
I'm looking at your résumé.
13
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,544
It says you got a Ph.D.
in veterinary medicine
14
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,422
and that you actually
have a successful practice right now.
15
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:28,681
Look, there comes a time
in every man's life
16
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,466
where you just gotta take stock,
17
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:34,887
ask yourself what's really important,
what's on your bucket list.
18
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,397
So let me get this straight.
19
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:41,602
On your bucket list, you don't have,
like, skydiving or rock climbing,
20
00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:43,062
or tap dancing, maybe?
21
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,362
Dancing with wolves,
22
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,815
I believe that has to be a thing.
23
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,524
They wouldn't have made a movie
if it wasn't, you know?
24
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,203
All I know is that, for me,
what I really want
25
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:57,243
is to clean the urine off
of that man's toilet seat.
26
00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,744
Talking about the boss.
27
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,497
Mr. Callahan.
28
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,166
Yeah, he's a great man.
This is a great company.
29
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,048
Anything I can do
to get closer to that guy, sign me up.
30
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,962
Okay, look, man.
31
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,676
Honestly, any other situation,
32
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,975
I would just tell you
to get the fuck out my office, okay?
33
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:16,725
But we do need the help,
so when can you start?
34
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,357
I've already begun.
35
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,608
What the fuck was that?
36
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,697
I haven't even opened that yet.
37
00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:30,697
I'm sorry.
I was trying to be proactive.
38
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,157
Today. I can start today. Um...
39
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:35,781
Why don't I get you another Coke?
40
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,491
- You do that, we good.
- Okay.
41
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,326
But don't throw away no more new stuff.
42
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,335
You will not be disappointed.
43
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,670
We don't have to shake hands, man.
44
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:44,840
- Okay. I'll be right back.
- Sure.
45
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,009
White people.
46
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,351
All right, Bob. You're the CEO
of a Fortune 800 company.
47
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:59,896
You have commanded the respect
of coworkers and vendors alike,
48
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,895
and that is why you're being interviewed
by the big boys.
49
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,353
The Wall Street Journal.
50
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,695
- Miss Crosby.
- Hi.
51
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,609
- Hi. Bob Callahan.
- Rebecca.
52
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,990
Thank you so much
for taking the time.
53
00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,244
Thank you.
54
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,994
Should we just get right into it?
55
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,575
- Yeah, let's jump right in.
- All right.
56
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,127
Well, here's what I would love for your
readers to know about our company.
57
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,416
We are young.
58
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,748
We are dynamic. We are fun.
59
00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,671
So let's talk about diabetes.
60
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,469
Mr. Callahan,
how do you respond to the idea
61
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,843
that your industry
uses captive insurance
62
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,344
to move risk off balance sheets?
63
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,933
Well, great question. Tough, but fair.
64
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:45,393
Um, I guess I would say that
what I love about Freedom Atlantic
65
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,648
is that we're not like
other insurance companies.
66
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:51,949
We're big, but small.
67
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,233
... Small.
68
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:56,032
We are, um...
69
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,362
You know, we're complex...
70
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,707
...and yet, also simple.
71
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:04,670
And we are global...
72
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,169
Yet local.
73
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,545
That's exactly right.
74
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:10,625
Sorry, one second.
75
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:13,212
Hey, could you maybe come back
at another time?
76
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,842
We're just right in the middle
of something. Sir?
77
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:18,346
I'm afraid not, Bob.
78
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,177
Jesus Christ, Hoagie!
79
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,512
What are you doing here?
80
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,596
How did you get past security?
81
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,306
I didn't. I work here.
82
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:28,818
You got a job at my company,
so you could try to tag me?
83
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,396
Come on. Bob, it's over.
84
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:32,652
You don't think I can escape
from my own conference room?
85
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,857
Where are you gonna go?
86
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,534
Well, guess what? Watch now
'cause this is happening.
87
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:40,827
- God dang it!
- Okay.
88
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,162
- ... Ouch.
- You okay?
89
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,622
God. Okay.
90
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,786
You're right.
91
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,204
It's over.
92
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,591
- Well, you're it.
- Yeah, I know. All right.
93
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,384
It's good to see you.
Good to see you, pal.
94
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,712
- Good to see you.
- Have you lost weight?
95
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,639
Yeah, a little bit.
Hey, listen, this is serious. Um...
96
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,466
Jerry's quitting.
97
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:00,596
What? Bullshit.
98
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,978
I swear to God.
End of this season, he's retiring.
99
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:07,558
Well, okay. But, lam in the middle
of an interview. So can I--
100
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,985
- Wall Street Journal, that's so coo“
- Thank you.
101
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,312
No, thank you, by the way,
102
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,737
'cause this was the distraction
I needed.
103
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,315
You get Bob talking about himself...
104
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,195
It is just a feedback loop. Non-stop.
105
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,867
- Can we talk about this outside, please?
- Yeah.
106
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,071
Can we talk about this outside?
I'll be right back. I promise.
107
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:21,988
There's three days left in May.
108
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:24,996
That gives us 63 hours
to round up the guys and get him.
109
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,077
Great. We can talk about this
over dinner.
110
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,503
What? No, no, no. We have to go now!
111
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,664
Don't you have bathrooms to clean
or something?
112
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,082
Technically, yes, I do.
113
00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,250
All right, well, you know what?
114
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,676
Take this ridiculous thing off...
115
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,636
...and get to it.
We'll talk about this later.
116
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,884
I'll resign, Bob.
117
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,386
You don't have to. You're fired.
118
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,222
Good. 'Cause the benefits here suck!
119
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,476
No, they don't.
120
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,762
That's true. Benefits are really good.
121
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,983
Hey, sorry about that.
Where were we?
122
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,936
- Diabetes. Yes.
- Explain.
123
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,738
Well...I'm not a doctor,
but there are two types.
124
00:05:56,231 --> 00:06:01,283
Type one is called "Type One".
And Type Two is more of an adult onset.
125
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,908
No. Him.
126
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,457
- What are you doing?
- Hoagie, what do you want?
127
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,750
You tagged me. I'm it, okay?
128
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,828
You're sitting there
like I didn't just tell you
129
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,333
we gotta deal with this right now.
130
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,583
Because we got a real shot
at Jerry this year.
131
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:15,792
You say that every year.
132
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,004
- Yeah, but this year's different.
- You say that every year.
133
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,384
- But this year's really different.
- You said that last year.
134
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:21,760
I know, you're right.
135
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,600
But this year's actually different
136
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,563
because we know exactly
where he's going to be and when.
137
00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,856
"The wedding celebration
of Susan and Jerry.
138
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,107
"Saturday, May 31st."
139
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,401
He's a sitting duck!
140
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,075
We gotta join forces. We get Jerry now,
141
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,194
or we die.
142
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,365
- What?
- Eventually. You know what I mean.
143
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,500
Come on, Bob.
144
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,583
You gonna grow old,
or you gonna keep playing?
145
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,086
Keep playing.
146
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,723
That is the right answer.
Nice to meet you.
147
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,883
I'm sorry. I have to go.
148
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:05,967
No....
149
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,136
Hold on. Hold on.
150
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,937
I can't believe he's getting married,
and he didn't even tell us.
151
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:12,311
I know. I was mad at first, too,
and then hurt.
152
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,939
But, you know, he just realized
he'd be a sitting target.
153
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,603
That's insane, even for him.
154
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,064
Will one of you please tell me
what's going on here?
155
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:20,440
Are we off the record?
156
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,158
No, definitely not.
157
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:23,234
Awesome. Okay.
158
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:25,912
Our group of friends has been playing
the same game of tag for 30 years.
159
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,284
What?
160
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,709
For the entire month of May,
every year, we play tag.
161
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,785
Just like when we were kids.
162
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,791
But we're not on a playground,
and we all live in different cities.
163
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,168
So you don't ever know
when someone's gonna pop up.
164
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,499
You could be shopping at the mall,
165
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,084
and then your buddy
jumps out of the trunk
166
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,965
and, boom, tags you. You're it.
167
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,128
Here's the craziest part.
168
00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:44,715
Our buddy, Jerry, never been tagged.
169
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:48,348
What do you mean he's never been tagged?
You never put your hand on his body?
170
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,645
Not during the month of May.
For like, 3O years.
171
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,724
Why don't you just go over to his house
and tag him?
172
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,772
- It's not that easy.
- Why not?
173
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,443
Because...
174
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:02,991
Well, for starters,
because he's so freaking fast.
175
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,659
You just can't catch him.
176
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:08,580
Yeah,
and if you do manage to catch him,
177
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,501
then he goes feral and turns into
some kind of crazy wild animal.
178
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:19,458
And if you manage
to trap the wild animal,
179
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,794
he still finds a way.
180
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:25,922
What just happened there?
181
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,300
To this day, I have no idea. No idea.
182
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,433
He's the best that ever played. Yeah.
183
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,018
And now, he wants to retire
with a perfect record,
184
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:39,194
make us all look like fools. Fools!
185
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,150
He gets very excited.
186
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:43,439
There he is.
187
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,033
Wait. You're not leaving.
188
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,360
Look, Ms. Crosby, I apologize.
189
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,325
I will have someone from my office
reach out to you.
190
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,156
We will reschedule this
as soon as I'm back in town.
191
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,578
Nope.
192
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,164
- Nope?
- No. Change of plan.
193
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,335
I'm coming with you.
194
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,958
This is a story.
195
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,039
What? No.
196
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,216
Yes. This is the coolest game ever.
197
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,634
I don't think that's gonna be her angle.
198
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,256
I don't know what my angle is,
199
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,089
but I do find it very interesting
that we live in a world
200
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,015
where grown men take an entire month
201
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,558
out of every year
to play a child's game.
202
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,766
It's very interesting.
You're right. Let's go.
203
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,351
I don't think she means interesting
in a good way.
204
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,149
- Get in, Bob.
- Fine! Fuck it, I'm going.
205
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,750
All right, it's all ready for you, Dad.
206
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,926
Hey! Thank you. Thank you.
207
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:53,264
I'll be honest with you.
Ever since my wife died,
208
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,062
you've really been the rock
holding me down.
209
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,856
So thank you.
210
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,446
Well, I appreciate that.
I really do.
211
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,194
But your wife is not dead.
212
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,152
Well, she's dead to me.
213
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,488
What?
214
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,368
Yeah.
215
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,575
- That's right.
- That's right.
216
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,285
Listen to me.
217
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:22,539
"To live in the past is
to die in the present."
218
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,748
Now, who said that?
219
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,376
- You did.
- Bill Belichick said that!
220
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,052
God love him. Yes, sir.
221
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,596
All right, I'm gonna get us more weed.
222
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:30,672
God bless you, son.
223
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,720
Damn, that was fast!
224
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,682
- Hey!
- Hey, Anna.
225
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,893
- Hey, Chilli. How are you?
- Good, nice to see you.
226
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,102
What are you doing here?
227
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,654
I was... I was walking by
228
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:50,655
and thought I'd pop in
and say hi to you and Roger.
229
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,235
Yeah, we're doing great. Where's Hoagie?
230
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,614
Um... He's, um...
You know...
231
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:59,122
- Shit!
- Hogan's in, the library.
232
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,082
Is it... Dad, what month is it?
233
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,126
May.
234
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,083
You're not getting by me.
235
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,421
Anna, are you okay?
236
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,423
He's loose! He's loose!
237
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,507
Fuck it.
238
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:15,592
Hogan, honey, he's coming.
239
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,222
He's heading down the east stairwell.
240
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,814
- Hey. Hogan!
- Hey, Chilli!
241
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:30,899
I haven't seen you in a while, man.
How's everything?
242
00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:32,734
- Pretty good. Yeah, what about you?
- Good, yeah.
243
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,364
Everything's good, man. Yeah, work.
I mean, I'm going through that divorce.
244
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,321
- You sure?
- But, everything's fine. It's fine.
245
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,286
Hey, also, side note.
Stop bringing your wife into this, man.
246
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,663
That's bullshit.
She's way too intense for the game.
247
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,541
You're just jealous
'cause she's such a badass.
248
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,039
She's my secret weapon.
Kind of worked 'cause you're trapped.
249
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,549
- Am I trapped?
- Yeah.
250
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,254
I am?
251
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,052
Damn you, Chilli!
252
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:01,809
Jesus, Chilli!
253
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,185
That's trash!
254
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,412
Fuck me!
255
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,489
Hey, Martin!
256
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,038
Hi. Sorry.
257
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,092
Excuse me, Mrs. Martin.
Coming through.
258
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,018
'SWFY. sorry, sorry.
259
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,013
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
260
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:47,397
My God! I'm so sorry.
So sorry. Wow. Okay.
261
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,897
Get him, Andy!
262
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,700
Good, Andy, good!
263
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,204
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
264
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,207
Chilli, Chilli, Chilli...
265
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:11,166
Chilli! No, no, no!
266
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,181
Fuck!
267
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,065
You okay, buddy?
268
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,315
Just great. Great.
269
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,693
You ain't getting me today, man.
I'm not losing.
270
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,898
There's only one problem, Chilli.
271
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,984
On, yeah? What's that?
272
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,820
I'm not it.
273
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,329
The fuck you mean,
you're not it?
274
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,580
I am, motherfucker!
275
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,038
- It! Come on. Get up.
- Goddamn!
276
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,296
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
277
00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:52,919
You took a pretty big hit there. My God.
278
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,296
Yeah, I thought I got away.
279
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,174
- Set him up. Knock him down.
- My God!
280
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:58,254
- Good idea.
- All right, fair and square.
281
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,339
- I'm it, right?
- Yes.
282
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:00,469
And now you're it.
283
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,846
- Whoa. Nope.
- Yeah.
284
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,393
Nope. I'm not taking it.
285
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,641
No, I'm not. No!
286
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,100
- No.
- We're not... No!
287
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,310
Guys, we're too old for...
288
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,025
No, don't start hitting. God.
289
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,524
No, no, you're it.
I don't know who is it.
290
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,486
- You're it. You're it.
- Guys, guys!
291
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,738
- This is ridiculous.
- Son of a bitch! You sack punched me!
292
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,490
- Well, you punched me!
- You sack punched him?
293
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:22,949
Yeah, you went crazy, and now you're it.
294
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,113
- Sorry.
- Okay, I'm it.
295
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,699
Truce, truce, truce.
296
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:26,783
Deal.
297
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,334
This isn't about us anyway.
298
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:31,663
This is the year we get Jerry.
299
00:14:31,746 --> 00:14:33,373
- We're not gonna get Jerry.
- He said the same thing.
300
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,879
No, no. I said the same thing.
We got a plan, all right?
301
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:39,921
Guys! Guys, let's go.
302
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,466
She's so intense, man.
She takes it too far.
303
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,801
You know what? If it wasn't for me,
you guys would be day drunk,
304
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,261
playing mini-golf with 12-year-olds.
305
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:49,018
Let's go. I know where Sable is.
Get in the car, ladies.
306
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,724
Yeah, we're going right to the airport,
so grab a bag, grab a...
307
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,935
- A toothbrush or whatever.
- I'm good. Let's go.
308
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,273
- Really?
- Wow!
309
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,478
- That's gross.
- Well, he's gung-ho. That's good.
310
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,234
Hey, Rebecca,
we're gonna go get Sable now.
311
00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:58,819
Who is Sable?
312
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,454
I know you think
she's not cheating on me.
313
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,081
But what about the possibility
314
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,459
of her knowing that I'm following her
to Pilates class,
315
00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:11,582
and on the days
when it's not Pilates class,
316
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:15,040
that's when she has all the free time
to ride random dick.
317
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,634
Okay, riding dicks.
318
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,929
Kevin, you're really focused
on other dicks.
319
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,557
But what about yours? What about you?
320
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,054
If you don't focus on the other dicks,
321
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:28,762
those dicks will plug up
the places you wanna go.
322
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:33,351
What about mentally
going into each of those holes
323
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:38,397
and unplugging every one of those dicks.
Pulling out, pulling out, pulling out.
324
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:41,486
And then you have a clear mind.
Dickless.
325
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,824
Well, I'm paranoid
that my original paranoia
326
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,370
might turn on my paranoia.
327
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,032
It sounds like there are
some fundamental trust issues.
328
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,791
You can't trust anybody.
329
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,289
I don't think anyone's out to get you.
330
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,995
I don't think anyone is following you.
331
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,170
Stop!
332
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,247
I can't take it anymore.
333
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,879
I can't take it. I can't listen to this.
334
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,042
Are you shushing me?
335
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,464
What the fuck?
336
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,351
- Wow!
- How are you?
337
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,394
- Doctor!
- You're there.
338
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,396
Hi, Hogan. Nice to meet you.
339
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,689
Bob Callahan. How do you do?
340
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,232
- Sorry, this is a terrible idea.
- Who are you?
341
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,685
We're friends of Sable's.
342
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,646
We thought it'd be really funny
to hide in there,
343
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,652
but then we overheard way too much.
344
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,325
Yeah, buddy, you're clearly
going through a lot of shit.
345
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:25,819
All right, get here, man.
346
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,405
And, um, also, you're it, so...
347
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,074
I don't care. I miss you.
How are you, buddy? Good to see you.
348
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,625
- I'm good.
- Yup.
349
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,077
- Now you're it.
- I know. I know. I'm it.
350
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,629
Anyway, yeah, we came to get you,
so come on.
351
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:37,955
- Sable. Come on.
- Come on.
352
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,917
I got 40 minutes left in the session.
353
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,298
- So what? This is important.
- Yeah.
354
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,430
Pack your bags. We're going home.
355
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,634
I don't have my bags here.
356
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,010
- Yeah, we know.
- Obviously.
357
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,094
- For fuck's sake.
- I know that. It's just--
358
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,521
We will go by your house
and get your stuff.
359
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,018
You should've just went to my house
in the first place
360
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,098
if we were gonna go to my house anyway.
361
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:58,150
- This seemed like a better idea.
- It was a whole bit! Let's go.
362
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,569
Yeah, come on, we'll figure it out.
363
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,112
Okay, you'll still owe me for this hour.
364
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,188
Thanks, Doctor.
365
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,273
You guys aren't taking
my mental health seriously.
366
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,675
Look at those little assholes.
367
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,306
- Calm down.
- It's awful to be back.
368
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,603
It's gonna be fun.
369
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,999
It still smells the same.
370
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,541
...Here we go.
371
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,006
All right!
372
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,645
Okay, yeah.
373
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,155
Yeah, it's still there.
374
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,406
Guys, we're back in the war room.
375
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:33,738
You know what that means.
376
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,243
No, I don't know what that means.
377
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,334
It means we're going to war, Sable.
Now, just to be clear,
378
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,834
we're not gonna tag Jerry
at the actual wedding ceremony
379
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,506
because, frankly,
that would make us giant assholes.
380
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:46,004
I'm sorry. I thought that was
the whole point of this.
381
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,962
I took two weeks unpaid vacation
for that exact reason.
382
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,592
- Two weeks?
- Yeah.
383
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,302
I'm going zip-lining after this.
384
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,594
Okay. There's gonna be plenty of time
to get him before the ceremony.
385
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,973
There's a rehearsal dinner.
386
00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,933
There's a luncheon, photo shoot.
Just don't worry. We're gonna get him.
387
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,393
Very official plan. Who wants to smoke
some weed with me? Sable!
388
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:04,602
I'll take a toke.
389
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:06,395
What?
390
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:11,076
Yeah, I've been, you know,
experimenting with pot recently.
391
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,035
Mostly medicinal, but hey.
392
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:17,199
I've wanted to get high with you
my entire life, Hogan.
393
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,499
- Honestly.
- Let's do it.
394
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,373
- This is the best gift of all time.
- Okay.
395
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,748
This is exactly how I imagined it,
by the way.
396
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:29,919
Hoagie's mom.
397
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:33,590
I've got pizza rolls
for my pizza roll boys.
398
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,516
Ooh. Pizza rolls.
399
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,562
Is that marijuana I smell?
400
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:45,442
No. What?
401
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,650
It's my pot. I'm really sorry.
I was smoking pot. It's an old habit.
402
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,487
So it's your weedie.
403
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:55,199
I think I'm getting a contact high.
404
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,362
- _Qkay.
- _
405
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,078
Hits me deep. Below the belt, you know.
406
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,958
I've got a belt upstairs.
407
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,040
I use it on naughty little boys.
408
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,168
What the fuck is going on?
409
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,045
I hope you don't hurt those boys.
410
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,552
I don't mean to.
411
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,384
It was really nice speaking with you.
Thank you for the pizza rolls.
412
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,552
Mom, stop flirting with Chilli.
413
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,597
Linda, have you seen Jerry lately?
414
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,355
I mean, do you still play tennis
with his mom?
415
00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:24,891
Because we need to find him
before the wedding,
416
00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,066
and we've got no clues.
417
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,023
I don't even talk to her.
I never see her at the club.
418
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,655
But I'm thrilled for Jerry.
Susan is such a nice girl.
419
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,825
- We just need the information.
- Yeah, we need to find him. Yeah.
420
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,111
Have you taken the guys
over to the Sandpiper?
421
00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:40,453
Lou does nothing but talk about you
and the old days and Jerry.
422
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,867
You know, I think he's lonely.
423
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,456
Okay, that's not helpful. But it...
424
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:46,620
My God!
425
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:48,289
Lou knows everything
going on in this town.
426
00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,333
Guys, we're going to the Sandpiper.
427
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:53,386
I don't wanna go to the Sandpiper.
I'm having a great time here.
428
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,638
I miss this basement.
We don't have any more beer.
429
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,093
Let's go to the Sandpiper.
430
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:10,644
Lou!
431
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,735
Gentlemen! And ladies.
432
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,323
How are you guys?
Hey, we have new summer stouts on draft.
433
00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:19,908
Lou, we don't give a shit about summer
stouts. We're just looking for Jerry.
434
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,615
Ooh, I hate to be the bearer
of bad tidings, Anna,
435
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,284
but you are technically
still banned from here.
436
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:26,581
- HOAGIEI What? Still?
- What?
437
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:28,037
It was dollar margarita night, Lou.
438
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,372
Hey, I don't make the rules.
439
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:30,664
Fuck you, Lou.
440
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,385
You know something about Jerry.
I can see it in your eyes, you rat fuck.
441
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,800
I don't know where Jerry is.
442
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,179
Fuck you. Tell us.
443
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,218
I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.
444
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,303
How are you'? How's your mom?
445
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:45,722
- Fantastic.
- That's good.
446
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,057
- Fit as a fiddle.
- Tell her I said hi.
447
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,140
I will, for sure.
She'll love hearing that.
448
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,316
And fuck you.
I don't wanna be in this bar anyway.
449
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,768
- Okay, okay.
- We're gonna wait outside.
450
00:21:50,935 --> 00:21:53,654
Look forward to catching up with y'all.
Whoo!
451
00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,448
Listen, I'll tell you everything
you need to know about Jerry
452
00:21:56,607 --> 00:22:00,908
if you tag me just one time.
It is all I ask. I will spill.
453
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:02,322
Why Can't I tag you?
454
00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,996
Because I'm not officially in the game.
455
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,205
What's the good word, Lou?
456
00:22:07,368 --> 00:22:09,541
We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old.
457
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:11,705
We grow old because we stop playing.
458
00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,340
You are not part of this game.
459
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:14,500
Benjamin Franklin.
460
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,176
- Lou.
- Yeah?
461
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,336
Where's Jerry?
462
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:19,092
I'm afraid I can't help you out
with that, boys.
463
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,882
- Really?
- Yeah, you see,
464
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:22,675
Jerry and I struck a little deal.
465
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,846
I say nothing about his whereabouts,
and then I get to play tag next year.
466
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,604
- Jerry made that deal with you?
- Yeah.
467
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,266
And I am unbreakable, boys.
468
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:32,730
Cannot penetrate this Iron Curtain.
469
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,271
The vault is closed.
470
00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:38,445
Well, Lou, that is a real shame because
I was gonna introduce you to Rebecca,
471
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:42,077
who is writing an article about tag
for The Wall Street Journal.
472
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:43,369
How cool is that?
473
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:44,617
- So cool.
- Isn't that exciting?
474
00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,916
Is there any way
that Lou could be in your article?
475
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,075
Yeah.
476
00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:49,368
Right? It's an interesting angle, right?
477
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,913
Probably has to be a story
for that to happen, right?
478
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,919
What do you mean,
there has to be a story?
479
00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,504
Well, I mean, no Jerry, no story.
480
00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:58,044
You need Jerry for the story?
481
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,928
Could you imagine that thing
printed out here, framed?
482
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:01,722
- Hanging on the wall? With this guy?
- Yeah.
483
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:03,014
Which will get published everywhere.
Everyone will see.
484
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,846
- Nationally.
- Don't you wanna be in the article?
485
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,977
Yeah, dude.
I would love to be in an article.
486
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:08,850
Well, we're not gonna break
Fort Knox here.
487
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,105
Fuck, man. All right.
488
00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:11,982
- I was really excited about that story.
- Good to see you, buddy.
489
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,893
- Good luck, man.
- Look, look, look.
490
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:18,273
My mom talked to his mom,
491
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:21,693
and she said that the rehearsal
is at the Deer Creek Country Club.
492
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,031
- Deer Creek.
- There it is.
493
00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:25,070
Anyways, the name is Louis Seibert.
That's S-E-I-B...
494
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,410
- I'll remember that. Thank you.
- She's got a great memory.
495
00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,079
Big Lou, thank you, buddy.
496
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:30,788
- Thank you.
- Yeah, you bet.
497
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,588
Hello, Ms. Rollins?
498
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,875
This is Margaret from
the Deer Creek Country Club.
499
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:39,715
I'm just calling to let you know
we won't be able to refund your deposit
500
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:42,255
since you canceled the rehearsal
on such short notice.
501
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,594
- SUSAN". What? My God.
- I think you have a mistake here.
502
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,475
We didn't cancel
the reception.
503
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:50,935
I'm afraid we have unfortunately booked
something else in that time slot now.
504
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,315
- A quinceafiera.
- A quinceafiera.
505
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:55,397
- A what?
- The fuck's a quinceafiera?
506
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:57,061
A celebration of womanhood.
507
00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:58,444
It's a celebration of womanhood.
508
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,151
- This is bullshit.
- My God!
509
00:24:00,314 --> 00:24:01,531
We're coming to the club right now.
510
00:24:34,515 --> 00:24:35,562
Hello?
511
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:40,066
Hello?
512
00:24:44,024 --> 00:24:45,025
Hello, boys.
513
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:47,861
Who is it?
514
00:24:48,779 --> 00:24:49,780
I am.
515
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,412
Callahan approaches
from the left.
516
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,288
Engage no-contact protocol.
517
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,000
No hand shall touch my body.
518
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:10,560
JERRY". Mental note. Bob slapped Hoagie
with his hand. Hoagie is now it.
519
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:15,472
Chilli.
520
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:18,309
He dives at me in a pussy-like fashion.
521
00:25:19,268 --> 00:25:21,236
Poor planning. Poor execution.
522
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:25,445
Piece of cake.
523
00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,651
I head for the door to escape.
524
00:25:27,818 --> 00:25:29,070
Sable blocks it.
525
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:31,242
It's showtime.
526
00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:37,203
Hoagie has tagged Sable.
He is now fair game.
527
00:25:39,329 --> 00:25:40,376
I speedbag him.
528
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:58,440
Jerry! You okay?
529
00:26:00,559 --> 00:26:01,981
I've never been better.
530
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:04,772
Welcome home, boys!
531
00:26:07,691 --> 00:26:08,988
Hey, who's this with you?
532
00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,995
This is Rebecca. She's a reporter.
533
00:26:12,071 --> 00:26:13,163
Very famous.
534
00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:15,536
Did they, mention that
I haven't been tagged in 30 years
535
00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:17,042
'cause they suck at this game?
536
00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:18,164
Extensively.
537
00:26:18,243 --> 00:26:19,665
Never been tagged. Just saying.
538
00:26:19,828 --> 00:26:20,875
I can't believe you would rather
539
00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:22,706
not invite your closest friends
to your wedding
540
00:26:22,873 --> 00:26:23,999
than risk getting tagged.
541
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:27,386
Hey, Bob, look, you're here, ain't you?
Right? I knew you'd come.
542
00:26:27,461 --> 00:26:28,963
Cookie, the valet needs the keys.
543
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:30,722
Hi, baby. Come here, honey. Come here.
544
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:32,758
We didn't invite you.
545
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,973
- Yeah. Sorry.
- Guys.
546
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:36,808
This is Susan, my soon-to-be-bride.
547
00:26:36,970 --> 00:26:38,563
- Hi. Nice to meet you, Susan.
- Hey.
548
00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:39,848
- Hi.
- She'll explain why.
549
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:43,110
It's just...
I know it sounds really crazy.
550
00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:46,442
It's just, everyone on my mother's side
have had May weddings,
551
00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:49,108
and I don't want
my wedding ruined over...
552
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:52,536
I swear, I don't wanna be that woman,
553
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:57,329
but I do feel like that woman is kind
of understandable in this situation.
554
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:59,501
Don't make excuses, baby.
You don't have to. Come on.
555
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,583
Look, I already broke a fucking window.
What are we gonna do here, guys?
556
00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:05,795
- Amendment.
- Amendment.
557
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:07,050
Amendment. All right. Get in here.
558
00:27:07,209 --> 00:27:08,756
Truce. Truce, bitches.
559
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:13,181
No tag at the rehearsal.
No tag at the luncheon.
560
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:16,810
No tag at the dinner. And do not
even mention tag at the ceremony.
561
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,971
Ceremony.
562
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:20,852
- We got it.
- Thank you.
563
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,140
No way, I'm not signing this.
564
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,775
You're officially re-not invited.
How's that?
565
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:24,935
Okay, then fine.
566
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:26,649
I'll crash your fucking wedding,
567
00:27:26,728 --> 00:27:28,230
and I'll tag you
as you try to kiss your bride.
568
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:29,656
Hey, hey, hey-
569
00:27:29,815 --> 00:27:31,192
Look, Susan.
You seem like a lovely person,
570
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:33,076
and I'm sure this will all be fine.
571
00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:36,739
We just need to formalize it, something
we've been doing a long time and...
572
00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:39,621
Sign it.
573
00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:42,286
What the...
574
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:44,626
"No mention of tag is..."
575
00:27:44,788 --> 00:27:46,540
- Ridiculous.
- It's unreasonable.
576
00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:47,879
Thank you, GUYS-
577
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:49,631
Here.
578
00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:52,213
All right, boys.
579
00:27:55,340 --> 00:27:56,683
- All right.
- So good to see you, Bob.
580
00:27:56,842 --> 00:27:59,061
You know what? Don't touch me when
we're on a truce. It's very patronizing.
581
00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:00,892
Yeah, it's a little weird for me, too.
582
00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:03,474
Well, it was really nice
meeting everyone,
583
00:28:03,557 --> 00:28:07,312
and I look forward to getting to know
you guys better this weekend and just...
584
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:10,318
I don't know. I've just dreamt
about this day my whole life, so...
585
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,232
- Congrats, Susan. We're happy for you.
- It's gonna be great.
586
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:13,400
Thank you.
587
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,484
It's really good to see you, boys.
588
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:15,777
Cheers.
589
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:18,655
Six tequilas, please.
590
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:23,995
- To Jerry.
- Wait.
591
00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:29,750
So, boys, how did it go?
592
00:28:29,917 --> 00:28:31,009
- Not good.
- So bad.
593
00:28:31,168 --> 00:28:32,920
So, so bad.
594
00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:35,756
Did you guys just sign away
your chance to tag him?
595
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:40,515
Yeah, but we're still okay
because non-wedding times are fair game.
596
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:41,974
We just gotta find the right window.
597
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,431
- What happened?
- He kicked our ass.
598
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,728
- Well, technically, he punched my ass.
- Punched your ass.
599
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:46,933
- Repeatedly.
- Hard.
600
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:48,610
Well, according to the bylaws,
that is highly illegal.
601
00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:50,988
Except he didn't hit my asshole,
602
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:52,443
-so it's legal.
- It's legal.
603
00:28:52,606 --> 00:28:54,199
Okay, what are you talking about?
604
00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:55,821
Here.
605
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,201
Page...
606
00:28:57,361 --> 00:28:59,034
Yes! Right there.
607
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:00,952
No asshole punching.
608
00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:05,335
Why would you play a game where
you're constantly punched in the ass?
609
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:07,746
Fair question, Rebecca.
610
00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:08,914
Beep. I'll take this.
611
00:29:09,039 --> 00:29:12,259
Tag is more than a game.
It's a way of life.
612
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:13,509
No, buddy.
613
00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:15,967
That's exactly right. You nailed it.
614
00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:18,257
Facial disgracial.
615
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:19,766
Okay, Lou, thank you.
616
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:22,348
We'll take it from here....
617
00:29:22,511 --> 00:29:23,558
But he's exactly right.
618
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:25,017
It's so much more than a game.
619
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:27,933
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
Say I'm LeVar Burton.
620
00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:30,102
I was there
when Sable lost his virginity.
621
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,187
God damn it, Hoagie!
I was almost finished!
622
00:29:32,354 --> 00:29:33,355
Get over here!
623
00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:36,282
And Callahan was there
when Anna and I had our first child.
624
00:29:37,859 --> 00:29:40,612
Congratulations, buddy.
You're it. Doing great, Anna.
625
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,578
And all the guys were there
for me when my father died.
626
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:47,461
I think your dad would have
really wanted you to be
627
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:49,792
it in this moment.
628
00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:53,459
This game,
629
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:56,512
it's given us a reason to be
in each other's lives all these years.
630
00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:59,844
The last it from each season
will live in shame for one year.
631
00:30:00,007 --> 00:30:01,805
- So what happens if you lose?
- You lose.
632
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:03,135
- You're it.
- What does the winner get?
633
00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,725
There are no winners. Just not losers.
634
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:09,767
I would love to sit here and deconstruct
the spirit of competition with everyone,
635
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,276
but Jerry's still on the loose,
636
00:30:11,435 --> 00:30:12,732
and we've got to get him where it hurts.
637
00:30:12,894 --> 00:30:14,896
- Not in the asshole.
- Not in the asshole. Obviously.
638
00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:16,736
Guys, let's go to his house.
639
00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:18,275
He wouldn't be at his house.
It's too obvious.
640
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:21,366
Yeah, it's too obvious,
so he's gonna be there. This is Jerry.
641
00:30:21,528 --> 00:30:24,953
Maybe it's so obvious that
it's not obvious that he will be there.
642
00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:26,913
- So he's at the house.
- He's not gonna be there.
643
00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:30,420
If he's there, then it'll be obvious
for him to be there,
644
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:31,671
so he wouldn't be there
645
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:34,709
because he would think that we would
automatically come there, obviously.
646
00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,168
What?
647
00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:37,423
You know what? One way to find out.
648
00:30:37,586 --> 00:30:38,587
Let's go.
649
00:30:38,712 --> 00:30:39,759
It'll be obvious to...
650
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,173
Come on!
651
00:30:58,565 --> 00:31:00,158
It's locked.
652
00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:08,124
What do you see?
653
00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:09,284
It's nice.
654
00:31:09,451 --> 00:31:12,546
There's lot of attention to detail,
but not too overdone.
655
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:15,378
Well, can you just unlock it?
656
00:31:17,626 --> 00:31:18,843
This is breaking and entering.
657
00:31:19,002 --> 00:31:21,096
No, it doesn't count
if you know the person.
658
00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,224
That is not true.
659
00:31:25,092 --> 00:31:27,971
"Did you guys really think
I would be home?"
660
00:31:30,055 --> 00:31:31,056
Feels like a trap.
661
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:32,691
All right, let's split up.
We'll cover more ground.
662
00:31:32,849 --> 00:31:33,850
No, that's a terrible idea.
663
00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:35,519
He'll never expect it.
664
00:31:35,685 --> 00:31:37,528
Now help me out of the door, please.
665
00:31:40,816 --> 00:31:42,944
Jerry!
666
00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,821
He's gotta be here.
667
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,576
Have you ever even been here before?
668
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:57,920
Ooh.
669
00:31:58,667 --> 00:31:59,759
Deviled eggs.
670
00:32:01,128 --> 00:32:03,096
Delicious. These go fast.
671
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,097
What the fuck?
672
00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:13,814
Man.
673
00:32:15,308 --> 00:32:17,151
Whoa.
674
00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:18,979
Jerry got chloroform?
675
00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:22,992
What the fuck? He has stepped it up.
676
00:32:23,150 --> 00:32:26,996
Aerial maps of the city.
Bunch of blueprints.
677
00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:29,782
Five different hats? Wow.
678
00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:32,580
People change.
679
00:32:40,208 --> 00:32:41,710
Did you...
680
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:43,503
I didn't do anything.
681
00:32:53,221 --> 00:32:56,771
Who is that scampering around my house?
682
00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:59,982
Hello, boys, did you really think
I'd go home?
683
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,442
- You idiots.
- I knew it.
684
00:33:01,605 --> 00:33:03,699
- It's too obvious.
- Yep.
685
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:05,359
I mean, that's just a lucky guess.
686
00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:06,526
Okay, Jerry, where are you?
687
00:33:06,693 --> 00:33:07,740
You know, seeing you guys tonight
688
00:33:07,903 --> 00:33:09,951
made me wanna take a walk down
memory lane.
689
00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:11,490
Ta-da!
690
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:12,999
- Is that your...
- That's my bedroom.
691
00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:14,831
You're at my parents' house.
Why are you at my parents' house?
692
00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:16,336
It's a little smaller than I remember.
693
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,997
You broke into my house!
694
00:33:18,163 --> 00:33:19,460
We broke into his house.
695
00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:21,250
Yeah, we broke into your house.
696
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:22,963
JERRY". Hey, hey! Look who I found, Hoag.
697
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:25,170
Hoagie, I miss you so much!
698
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,714
What are you doing with Mr. Stubbles?
699
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,052
This little guy
got you through
700
00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:29,383
a lot of troubles in life, didn't he?
701
00:33:29,549 --> 00:33:30,926
All right, Jerry.
702
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:34,596
Let's see where this one goes.
703
00:33:34,763 --> 00:33:37,141
Mr. Stubbles has something to say.
What was that?
704
00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:40,151
He says that his skin's very dry.
It needs to be moisturized.
705
00:33:40,310 --> 00:33:42,984
Jerry, put down Mr. Stubbles.
So help me God.
706
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:45,906
What's happening here?
707
00:33:46,066 --> 00:33:48,489
I think he's about to masturbate
in Hoagie's childhood bedroom.
708
00:33:48,652 --> 00:33:50,325
No.
709
00:33:50,487 --> 00:33:52,410
It's the ultimate act of dominance.
710
00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:54,165
I'm gonna stay here until you come.
711
00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:56,915
Unless I come first.
712
00:33:58,370 --> 00:33:59,371
You sly dog.
713
00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:04,009
- Go! Go! Go!
- Did you get him?
714
00:34:04,167 --> 00:34:05,919
- Start the car!
- I started it. I started it.
715
00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:07,258
Everybody put their seat belts on.
716
00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:08,763
Go! Go! Go!
717
00:34:08,922 --> 00:34:10,424
- Everybody in.
- Hold on.
718
00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:12,433
Is everybody in?
719
00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:18,765
This is gonna be nice and smooth,
Mr. Stubbies.
720
00:34:18,932 --> 00:34:20,730
This isn't gonna hurt whatsoever.
721
00:34:20,892 --> 00:34:23,441
Stay put. We're coming for you.
We're coming for you.
722
00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:26,823
Yeah, but hurry up! Daddy, hurry up!
723
00:34:26,982 --> 00:34:28,734
Mr. Stubbles is not into you.
He can't be into you.
724
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,073
He's not a sexual being, okay?
So put him down!
725
00:34:37,993 --> 00:34:39,495
Hey, team.
726
00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:49,258
Jerry, how are you in my room right now?
727
00:34:49,379 --> 00:34:50,676
We're all in my room.
728
00:34:50,755 --> 00:34:54,350
No, of course I'm not there. I'm here.
In my basement.
729
00:34:54,676 --> 00:34:55,677
Where are you guys?
730
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,017
Are you fucking kidding me?
731
00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:01,149
He built a replica
of your bedroom in his basement?
732
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:02,651
Good night, gentlemen.
733
00:35:11,401 --> 00:35:13,824
Amateurs.
734
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:16,285
Let's begin. Um...
735
00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:19,034
So kind of a rough start.
736
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:22,129
That was pretty standard, actually.
Yeah, Jerry's extreme.
737
00:35:22,287 --> 00:35:25,086
The masturbation was fake,
but the pleasure was real.
738
00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:27,876
I mean, I've said it before,
but we're not gonna tag him because,
739
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:30,762
you know, he's better at tag
than us.
740
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,843
I'm obviously going to be the one
that tags Jerry.
741
00:35:33,006 --> 00:35:36,260
I've been working
with this Japanese guy. Sensei.
742
00:35:36,426 --> 00:35:38,929
He knows zero karate.
743
00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:41,814
He doesn't know karate.
He's claiming to know karate?
744
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:45,394
He doesn't know karate.
I don't think he knows karate.
745
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,609
Well, then what does he call it when
I roundhouse kicked him in 10th grade?
746
00:35:48,772 --> 00:35:51,070
Callahan and Chilli did get in a
huge fight sophomore year of high school
747
00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:56,113
and Callahan did just tag Chilli
with a beautiful roundhouse kick.
748
00:35:56,279 --> 00:35:59,829
But in Chilli's defense, when Callahan
kicked him...
749
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,243
He shit in his pants!
750
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:03,161
Yeah, okay, that never happened.
751
00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:06,423
And it's nice to actually get
an opportunity to address it directly.
752
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:07,753
By all means. I'm all ears.
753
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:11,261
I mean, I was very sweaty.
It was warm out.
754
00:36:11,461 --> 00:36:15,511
The sweaty ass defense?
He's been banging that drum for years.
755
00:36:15,674 --> 00:36:17,597
Hottest October on record, if I recall.
Look it up.
756
00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:19,181
Wall Street Journal,
you have fact checkers
757
00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:20,728
for this exact scenario, right?
758
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,772
Yeah.
759
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:24,815
While you're at it,
can you have the fact checkers look into
760
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:27,898
if The Maury Povich Show is staged?
'Cause it feels staged,
761
00:36:28,061 --> 00:36:30,029
but he swears it's not staged.
762
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:32,737
But they do the exact same thing
every time.
763
00:36:33,608 --> 00:36:34,951
What?
764
00:36:49,457 --> 00:36:53,837
Sable, I know where
Jerry's gonna be. I need the tag.
765
00:36:57,465 --> 00:37:00,594
Yeah. Just picked up the tux.
766
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:01,977
All right, see you soon, babe.
767
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:05,306
Hey, Rob, how're you doing, bud?
Good to see you.
768
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:06,690
You, too, man.
769
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,818
Gloria, ma'am.
770
00:37:08,977 --> 00:37:10,194
- My balloon!
- Whoa!
771
00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:12,981
Hey, this must be yours, buddy.
772
00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:14,149
Thanks, mister.
773
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:15,407
Look at that.
You gonna eat that whole thing?
774
00:37:16,276 --> 00:37:18,370
You know what? You should consider
some alternative snacks.
775
00:37:18,737 --> 00:37:20,705
Keeping fitness fun, buddy.
776
00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:30,256
Excuse me, ma'am.
777
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,292
You dropped your...
778
00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,420
Men's athletic crossover-style boot,
779
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:37,134
size nine and a half.
780
00:37:37,630 --> 00:37:39,473
Suggests a man
that is neither fashionable
781
00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:41,430
nor athletic.
782
00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:42,594
Hoagie.
783
00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:54,151
JERRY". Little does Hoagie know
784
00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:57,033
I've been teaching a women's
self-defense boot camp for six years.
785
00:37:57,942 --> 00:37:59,159
First defense 101.
786
00:37:59,319 --> 00:38:00,616
Class is in session.
787
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:11,956
Holy shit!
788
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,502
- You're done, Hoagie.
- Never!
789
00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:54,666
You're done.
790
00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:55,834
Never!
791
00:38:58,127 --> 00:39:00,095
All right, I'm done.
792
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:02,924
Dude, you look amazing, by the way.
You've really upped your game!
793
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:04,764
How'd you know I was gonna be here?
794
00:39:04,843 --> 00:39:06,436
Aha! Surprised you, right?
795
00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:08,851
I saw the pick-up ticket for your tailor
796
00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:10,022
when we broke into your house
the other night.
797
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:14,018
Impressive.
798
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:15,482
I'm taking you down, Jerry.
799
00:39:15,645 --> 00:39:17,522
Well, we both know
that's never gonna happen.
800
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,657
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through. Excuse me.
801
00:39:19,816 --> 00:39:21,944
Boy. Cavalry's coming in.
802
00:39:22,110 --> 00:39:23,532
Hey, Jerry.
803
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,117
This old lady bothering you?
804
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,703
I'm good, Marvin. Thanks, man.
Everything's all right.
805
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,083
It's just a friend of mine.
806
00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,459
Hey, it's good to see you.
Looking good, brother.
807
00:39:30,577 --> 00:39:32,625
- My man.
- Yeah, staying in shape.
808
00:39:34,289 --> 00:39:35,962
What the fuck?
809
00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:38,252
All right, well, maybe
I'll call the police. All right?
810
00:39:38,418 --> 00:39:40,386
This is assault.
You willing to go to jail for this?
811
00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:42,635
You're goddamn right, lam.
812
00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:48,395
Okay, then maybe I will cause
a big scene and get arrested also.
813
00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:51,056
Then, once we both get to jail,
I'll just...
814
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,348
What? Bribe a guard?
815
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:54,935
Be put in my cell? Yeah, I figured
you'd say that. It's pretty obvious.
816
00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,149
Hoag, you have to realize
that's gonna take hours,
817
00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:58,564
during which time
818
00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:00,448
I'll have fashioned
a shiv from my toothbrush
819
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:01,945
and used it to murder my cellmate.
820
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:03,234
You'd just shiv your cellmate?
821
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:05,870
Don't worry. He's a bad person
who's done terrible things,
822
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:07,030
so justice is served.
823
00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,332
It gets me thrown in solitary
confinement, which is what I want.
824
00:40:10,700 --> 00:40:13,670
Out of reach. Completely untaggable.
825
00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:15,296
Damn, you have thought this through.
826
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:18,132
Pretty good, right?
827
00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:20,172
Look, understand two things, Hoagie.
828
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,050
First, you're not gonna screw up
this wedding. Okay?
829
00:40:23,212 --> 00:40:26,216
And secondly,
I will never let you tag me.
830
00:40:26,382 --> 00:40:28,601
You're gonna die before that ever
happens. You understand that, right?
831
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:32,310
I don't fear death, Jerry.
And I'm not gonna give this up
832
00:40:32,472 --> 00:40:33,598
till I die.
833
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,310
Okay. Good luck.
834
00:40:45,902 --> 00:40:47,904
See you at the rehearsal, Jerry.
835
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:56,546
These hushpuppies are insane.
836
00:40:56,621 --> 00:40:57,622
All right, listen.
837
00:40:57,705 --> 00:41:01,960
T-minus 34 minutes until this rehearsal
dinner is over, and Jerry's fair game.
838
00:41:02,043 --> 00:41:04,762
There's four of us. There's four exits.
Let's fan out and trap this rat.
839
00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:06,173
Okay? Synchronize your watches.
840
00:41:06,339 --> 00:41:08,137
- I don't know how to do that.
- I don't wear a watch.
841
00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:10,176
Time is a construct.
842
00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:12,937
Okay, 5:00.
843
00:41:13,096 --> 00:41:14,723
Could have said that at the beginning.
844
00:41:15,264 --> 00:41:16,265
Well, we said it now.
845
00:41:16,432 --> 00:41:18,935
- OO, how hard is that?
- 5:00, yeah, it's easy.
846
00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:21,070
- Hi, guys. How are you?
- How are you?
847
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:22,606
Sorry about the other night.
That wasn't...
848
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:23,898
Yeah, that wasn't cool.
849
00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:26,193
No. I mean, listen,
I know it's not just you guys.
850
00:41:26,359 --> 00:41:28,407
I mean, Jerry's worse than all of you.
851
00:41:28,569 --> 00:41:30,162
He's very competitive.
852
00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:31,538
When we were kids, we had a contest
853
00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:34,201
to see who could hold their breath
for the longest underwater.
854
00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:36,373
He almost died.
855
00:41:36,452 --> 00:41:39,205
He won, but at what cost? Really?
856
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:43,384
I hope he's this competitive
when it comes to being a father.
857
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:45,461
Are you pregnant?
858
00:41:46,045 --> 00:41:48,173
- Really?
- Yeah, that's why the Shirley Temple.
859
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:49,636
- My gosh!
- I know.
860
00:41:49,799 --> 00:41:51,096
- Here, cheers!
- Congratulations, that's great!
861
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:52,385
- Cheers, thank you!
- My gosh!
862
00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:53,849
- That's such good news.
- Thank you. Yeah.
863
00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,889
- We're not telling that many people.
- Okay.
864
00:41:56,055 --> 00:41:58,023
Listen, I know
it's gonna get a little wacky
865
00:41:58,182 --> 00:41:59,684
over the next couple of days
with you guys.
866
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,524
- Sure the fuck is, yeah.
- Okay.
867
00:42:01,602 --> 00:42:04,105
Just don't go too far
868
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:07,488
and go out there and play golf.
It's amazing. Do something fun.
869
00:42:07,567 --> 00:42:10,070
- Okay? Okay. Bye, guys.
- See you.
870
00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:12,531
I like her.
She has a beautiful personality.
871
00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:14,574
Very effervescent. Good energy.
Good vibes.
872
00:42:14,699 --> 00:42:16,167
Don't believe a word
she fucking says.
873
00:42:16,325 --> 00:42:17,622
She's a hired hand. She's an actress.
874
00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:19,625
- What?
- I mean, look at this son of a bitch.
875
00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,664
- This is Colonel Sanders in the flesh.
- That's, like, her uncle.
876
00:42:21,831 --> 00:42:23,879
- It's the fucking Truman Show.
- Will you stop?
877
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:26,302
The whole thing. Jerry set it up.
I guarantee it.
878
00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:28,129
Every single person here has been hired.
879
00:42:28,212 --> 00:42:29,589
You have gotta calm down.
880
00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:32,676
Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm his wife.
881
00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:36,104
Jerry, is that Cheryl Deakins?
882
00:42:41,934 --> 00:42:43,231
Yeah. Good. Hey!
883
00:42:43,770 --> 00:42:44,942
- You invited her?
- Yeah, of course.
884
00:42:45,104 --> 00:42:46,105
What?
885
00:42:46,272 --> 00:42:47,990
What? We're all old friends.
886
00:42:48,649 --> 00:42:49,650
Makes sense.
887
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:51,034
I'm not buying this.
888
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:55,239
Is that...
889
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:57,033
Cheryl Deakins.
890
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,247
You know she was coming, Bob?
891
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,419
- I did not.
- I didn't either.
892
00:43:00,578 --> 00:43:01,579
She looks good.
893
00:43:01,746 --> 00:43:03,339
- Great. She always does.
- Yeah.
894
00:43:04,082 --> 00:43:05,334
Wow!
895
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:07,628
Who is Cheryl Deakins?
896
00:43:07,794 --> 00:43:10,638
Is she like the Yoko or something?
897
00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:12,344
I don't get that reference,
898
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:15,351
but she's someone whose presence
causes strain on our group.
899
00:43:15,885 --> 00:43:17,603
We've known her since grade school.
900
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:22,608
She was the first girl that Chilli
and Callahan had a crush on.
901
00:43:23,226 --> 00:43:25,900
When we were kids,
Cheryl was into Chilli,
902
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:28,690
much to Callahan's chagrin.
903
00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:31,075
But young love is unpredictable.
904
00:43:31,234 --> 00:43:34,204
Later that same year, she decided
she was into Callahan,
905
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:36,785
much to Chilli's chagrin.
906
00:43:37,490 --> 00:43:40,710
But she always had
a place in her heart for Chilli.
907
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:50,800
And this went on for decades.
908
00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:53,135
And all of a sudden,
she just married an orthodontist.
909
00:43:55,341 --> 00:43:56,593
They get all the chicks.
910
00:43:56,676 --> 00:43:57,677
What?
911
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:59,228
How long has it been
since you've seen her?
912
00:43:59,387 --> 00:44:01,139
About 10 years for me. How about you?
913
00:44:01,764 --> 00:44:02,981
Same, I guess.
914
00:44:04,433 --> 00:44:05,901
- Been a while.
- Sure has.
915
00:44:05,977 --> 00:44:07,820
You sneaky trickster.
916
00:44:07,979 --> 00:44:10,778
She looks amazing, and you know it.
Think about this.
917
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:14,319
What if Cheryl ended up getting back
together with our boy?
918
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:15,782
- Chilli?
- Callahan?
919
00:44:15,945 --> 00:44:17,071
Obviously.
920
00:44:17,155 --> 00:44:18,372
- Wait. What?
- Duh.
921
00:44:18,531 --> 00:44:19,953
- Did you say Chilli?
- You're Team Callahan?
922
00:44:20,116 --> 00:44:21,993
- Yeah!
- We've been married all this time,
923
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,503
and you think she should end up
with Callahan?
924
00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:26,005
Of course. Wait, you think Chilli?
925
00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:28,633
Wait, do you know those guys at all?
926
00:44:28,916 --> 00:44:30,213
Who are you right now?
927
00:44:30,293 --> 00:44:31,294
- What?
- You're freaking me out.
928
00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:32,378
I feel like I don't even know you.
929
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:33,925
You're like this foreign person.
930
00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:38,222
Do you want me to be a foreign person?
931
00:44:38,759 --> 00:44:39,760
What?
932
00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:41,972
Here? Right now?
933
00:44:42,054 --> 00:44:43,476
Because, um...
934
00:44:43,556 --> 00:44:45,604
I just got lost
on the way to bibliothéque,
935
00:44:45,766 --> 00:44:47,985
and I don't know
where all my other French friends are.
936
00:44:48,144 --> 00:44:49,191
Chantelle is here?
937
00:44:49,353 --> 00:44:50,570
Chantelle is here with...
938
00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:51,731
My God!
939
00:44:55,067 --> 00:44:56,819
Honey, it's almost 5:00.
940
00:44:57,653 --> 00:44:59,200
Keep your head in the game.
941
00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:00,364
You're so good.
942
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,953
Come on, we'll go to the bathroom
for five minutes.
943
00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:03,117
All right.
944
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:04,536
It's crazy.
945
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:06,704
- Hey, you should go talk with her.
- No, you should go.
946
00:45:06,871 --> 00:45:07,963
Neither of you should.
947
00:45:08,664 --> 00:45:10,382
- Thanks.
- You're welcome. Neither one.
948
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:11,922
Shut up, Sable.
949
00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:13,378
No, honestly, it should be you, Bob.
950
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:15,091
No, I think she really
wants to talk to you
951
00:45:15,171 --> 00:45:18,095
'cause I think girls really like,
you know,
952
00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:21,431
depressed guys that still have a name
for their bong.
953
00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:26,728
Get a good one.
954
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:30,732
This is gonna go great.
955
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:32,696
Thank you.
956
00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,573
All right, good advice.
957
00:45:36,192 --> 00:45:37,193
Good luck.
958
00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:40,196
Tell her I said hi.
959
00:45:44,533 --> 00:45:45,534
Cheryl Deakins.
960
00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:47,712
Chilli Cilliano.
961
00:45:48,037 --> 00:45:49,209
How'd you know it was me?
962
00:45:49,372 --> 00:45:52,216
I'd know that faint smell of sativa
and Old Spice anywhere.
963
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:54,127
Yeah. I had to get a little stoned.
964
00:45:54,293 --> 00:45:56,216
I can't be sober at these things.
They're awful.
965
00:45:57,380 --> 00:45:58,927
That was the wrong choice, man.
966
00:45:59,298 --> 00:46:00,299
What?
967
00:46:00,466 --> 00:46:04,471
Neither of you should have gone,
but if one of you should have went,
968
00:46:04,637 --> 00:46:05,980
then it should have been you.
969
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:07,644
How many wines have you had?
970
00:46:09,350 --> 00:46:11,853
How many legs does an octopus have?
971
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:13,817
Well, eight.
972
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:19,986
I see that you've been
rejecting fashion trends
973
00:46:20,152 --> 00:46:22,951
and haircuts and maybe hygiene.
I respect that.
974
00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:27,585
Well, I think respect is the key to the
beginning of rebuilding a friendship.
975
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:29,955
- Is that a saying? Maybe?
- Yeah, sure. Who said that?
976
00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:33,295
I don't know. I wanna hear
about this husband of yours.
977
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:38,172
What's the story?
Is he still charming, sensible, rich?
978
00:46:38,713 --> 00:46:40,511
No. Dead.
979
00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:42,763
Yeah, same with me.
980
00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:44,723
Dead to me. Divorced.
981
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:49,482
No, I mean he's "dead" dead.
He actually died.
982
00:46:49,932 --> 00:46:51,024
He's dead?
983
00:46:51,934 --> 00:46:53,106
For real?
984
00:46:54,687 --> 00:46:56,860
Yeah, he, um...
985
00:46:56,939 --> 00:46:59,488
He died in a car crash.
We were separated already.
986
00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:00,944
You already separated.
987
00:47:01,277 --> 00:47:02,904
- Yeah.
- And now he's dead. He's gone.
988
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,162
- He's gone.
- Officially.
989
00:47:04,322 --> 00:47:06,916
Act a little more upset about it.
990
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:09,577
I know, but, anyway, how are you?
How's your life?
991
00:47:09,702 --> 00:47:13,923
Great. I lost my business. Divorced.
Playing tag competitively.
992
00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,128
Pretty much rock bottom.
993
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,589
- Are you trying to make me horny?
- Fuck yes, lam.
994
00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:19,045
-'Cause it's happening.
- It is?
995
00:47:19,128 --> 00:47:21,222
Yeah.
996
00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:23,967
So have you tried the hushpuppies,
or what?
997
00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,427
What do you think they're talking about?
998
00:47:27,303 --> 00:47:29,431
I don't know, and I don't want
you to worry about it.
999
00:47:29,597 --> 00:47:30,723
We've got 15 minutes.
1000
00:47:30,890 --> 00:47:35,316
Chilli, I think about you
all the time, Chilli.
1001
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,943
Yeah? But what about
Callahan? He's so handsome.
1002
00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:41,359
He's very handsome,
but he's a selfish lover
1003
00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:42,822
with a small dick.
1004
00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:44,070
Really?
1005
00:47:44,153 --> 00:47:45,496
Plus he sobs after he comes.
1006
00:47:45,654 --> 00:47:47,031
Okay.
1007
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,240
Wow.
1008
00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:50,910
It's okay, Callahan.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
1009
00:47:50,993 --> 00:47:52,620
Okay, you know what?
You guys are all 12-year-olds.
1010
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:53,704
Chilli.
1011
00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:56,462
Hey, Cheryl, I want to reconnect.
1012
00:47:56,791 --> 00:48:00,091
Yeah.
1013
00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:01,671
- What's happening now?
- Bob!
1014
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:04,932
Yeah, I'm just...
I'm just feeling the vibes.
1015
00:48:05,049 --> 00:48:08,474
I mean, who wants to have sex
with a guy named Bob?
1016
00:48:08,636 --> 00:48:11,606
"Bob." Just doesn't sound right.
"Bob."
1017
00:48:11,764 --> 00:48:12,981
- "Bob."
- "on, Bob."
1018
00:48:13,140 --> 00:48:15,234
- "Bob. Bob, Bob."
- "Robert."
1019
00:48:15,309 --> 00:48:16,401
"Bob."
1020
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:17,937
I wasn't gonna text you, you know?
1021
00:48:18,104 --> 00:48:19,401
I didn't wanna mess with you
when you were married.
1022
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:21,156
No, I think that's nice. Respectful.
1023
00:48:21,315 --> 00:48:22,612
If I knew he was dead,
I would have texted right away.
1024
00:48:22,775 --> 00:48:23,776
All right. Okay.
1025
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:26,366
- No! Please don't leave on that!
- No, it's fine.
1026
00:48:26,529 --> 00:48:28,372
We're good. We're good.
I'm just gonna use the ladies' room.
1027
00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:29,490
- I'll see you later.
- Okay.
1028
00:48:29,573 --> 00:48:30,574
- It's nice to see you.
- It's great to see you.
1029
00:48:30,783 --> 00:48:31,784
You too.
1030
00:48:36,038 --> 00:48:37,039
Widowed.
1031
00:48:54,682 --> 00:48:56,104
Cheryl Deakins.
1032
00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:58,019
What are you doing here?
1033
00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,186
And where are the urinals?
1034
00:48:59,728 --> 00:49:00,980
Probably in the men's room.
1035
00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:04,233
- You haven't changed a bit.
- Thank you.
1036
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,743
No, that was not a compliment.
1037
00:49:05,901 --> 00:49:07,778
Well, I have matured.
1038
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:09,288
Have you? Really?
1039
00:49:09,447 --> 00:49:11,870
Because this old move where you
follow me into the bathroom,
1040
00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:13,454
it's exactly what you did
atjunior prom.
1041
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:15,961
It was a good move then,
and it's a good move now.
1042
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:17,713
Marginally nicer bathroom.
1043
00:49:18,497 --> 00:49:19,498
Do you wanna get a drink?
1044
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:21,129
Actually, I think
I'm gonna head home.
1045
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:22,384
Can I give you a ride?
1046
00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:24,379
- Sure.
- Great.
1047
00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:25,887
Right after we have that drink.
1048
00:49:26,046 --> 00:49:27,514
I see what you did there.
1049
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:35,144
Okay, guys. It's almost go time.
ls everybody in position? Over.
1050
00:49:35,514 --> 00:49:37,437
Sable is in position.
1051
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:40,986
- Chilli!
- Yeah. Let's get him.
1052
00:49:41,145 --> 00:49:44,240
HOAGIE". Callahan. Callahan,
do you read me? Over.
1053
00:49:46,275 --> 00:49:48,528
Callahan. Where are you, buddy?
1054
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,911
Callahan!
1055
00:49:53,073 --> 00:49:55,292
We got an unguarded exit, okay?
1056
00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:56,952
Hi.
1057
00:49:57,703 --> 00:49:59,250
Callahan!
1058
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:07,384
Go! Go! Go! Go!
1059
00:50:07,463 --> 00:50:08,464
Go!
1060
00:50:08,631 --> 00:50:10,178
Not today, motherfucker!
1061
00:50:12,426 --> 00:50:14,099
Hey, thanks for coming. Appreciate it.
1062
00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:20,483
GO! Go!
1063
00:50:20,643 --> 00:50:22,896
Come and get it, bitches!
1064
00:50:24,730 --> 00:50:26,482
- Get in! Get in!
- We're close. We're close.
1065
00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:28,026
Go!
1066
00:50:42,331 --> 00:50:43,708
- Hold on! Hold on!
- Go, go!
1067
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:47,260
Go faster! Go faster!
1068
00:50:47,336 --> 00:50:48,713
Giddy up!
1069
00:50:49,797 --> 00:50:51,094
We're coming for you!
1070
00:50:52,841 --> 00:50:54,843
Go, Hoagie, go!
1071
00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:01,517
Jesus!
1072
00:51:03,894 --> 00:51:04,986
Incoming!
1073
00:51:06,564 --> 00:51:07,690
- Son of a bitch!
- Come on!
1074
00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:09,241
CHILLII Go! Go!
1075
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,028
God, I wish I had my gun here.
1076
00:51:12,194 --> 00:51:14,322
There are so many good birds to shoot.
1077
00:51:15,948 --> 00:51:17,291
So this is a vacation for you?
1078
00:51:17,449 --> 00:51:21,420
Yeah. I mean, some couples go
on cruises. Some couples go camping.
1079
00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:25,379
Some couples go to strip clubs
and have gangbangs,
1080
00:51:25,541 --> 00:51:27,293
and this is just what we do.
This is what we love.
1081
00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:28,881
This is our gangbang.
1082
00:51:29,712 --> 00:51:32,056
You know, it seems to me like
you'd be really good at the game.
1083
00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:33,215
- Why don't you play?
- Well,
1084
00:51:33,382 --> 00:51:36,352
they came up with the rules
when they were nine. No girls allowed.
1085
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:39,688
And to be honest, I can get a little
1086
00:51:39,763 --> 00:51:42,607
overly aggressive
and competitive sometimes.
1087
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:44,439
Come on, Jerry.
You're dead meat!
1088
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:46,270
Yeah, kick his ass!
1089
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:48,155
Keep your eyes downfield!
1090
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:49,782
Cut across the fourth fairway!
1091
00:51:49,940 --> 00:51:51,783
Don't fuck this up!
1092
00:51:52,026 --> 00:51:53,619
Yeah. Well.
1093
00:51:54,987 --> 00:51:57,536
I have to show you
pictures of our kids.
1094
00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:00,914
Go, go, go!
1095
00:52:02,870 --> 00:52:03,917
Get him, Hoagie. Get him!
1096
00:52:04,079 --> 00:52:05,251
Hold on. Hold on.
1097
00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:08,216
Hoagie, stop!
1098
00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:11,553
- Hoagie, what are you doing?
- I can't see!
1099
00:52:20,471 --> 00:52:23,190
Wh00!
1100
00:52:24,933 --> 00:52:25,934
Everybody good?
1101
00:52:26,018 --> 00:52:28,567
I'm fine. I'm fine.
1102
00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:31,774
Well, that happened.
1103
00:52:31,857 --> 00:52:33,404
Onward.
1104
00:52:34,902 --> 00:52:35,903
Let's get him.
1105
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,238
Whoo! That was invigorating.
1106
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:50,050
on.
1107
00:52:50,209 --> 00:52:53,304
That is psychological warfare
right there.
1108
00:52:54,046 --> 00:52:55,047
That's impressive.
1109
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:56,261
Yeah, that's a good move.
1110
00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:57,800
Good one, Jen!
1111
00:53:01,553 --> 00:53:02,554
There he is!
1112
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:05,433
Hello, boys.
1113
00:53:08,143 --> 00:53:09,941
What?
1114
00:53:10,521 --> 00:53:11,522
What the...
1115
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:12,902
How's he doing this?
1116
00:53:13,065 --> 00:53:14,157
All right, Jerry, stop!
1117
00:53:14,316 --> 00:53:15,568
He's multiplying!
It's happening!
1118
00:53:15,734 --> 00:53:16,735
- What the fuck?
- There's one!
1119
00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:19,822
One is there!
1120
00:53:19,988 --> 00:53:21,114
- Hey!
- What?
1121
00:53:21,490 --> 00:53:22,912
You guys, there's so many.
There's so many!
1122
00:53:23,075 --> 00:53:24,076
What the...
1123
00:53:24,493 --> 00:53:26,495
There he is! I'm coming for you, Jerry!
1124
00:53:26,578 --> 00:53:27,704
Chilli, you're not even it!
1125
00:53:35,921 --> 00:53:37,389
I'm on your ass!
1126
00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:40,467
Come on!
1127
00:53:49,893 --> 00:53:51,691
Shit!
1128
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:53,397
Shit!
1129
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:04,040
This is terrible. This is pure bullshit.
1130
00:54:04,199 --> 00:54:05,200
We should not be here.
1131
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:07,794
This is getting way too extreme.
1132
00:54:07,870 --> 00:54:09,622
I need you to buck up, Sable.
1133
00:54:09,788 --> 00:54:11,040
- Yeah.
- Come on, let's stay focused.
1134
00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:13,797
Yeah, we bucked up
out of the goddamn golf cart.
1135
00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:20,299
You smell that?
Do you smell it?
1136
00:54:20,466 --> 00:54:21,763
It's Jerry. I smell him.
1137
00:54:21,925 --> 00:54:23,017
It's leaves and grass.
1138
00:54:23,969 --> 00:54:25,095
And centipedes.
1139
00:54:25,721 --> 00:54:26,973
Just typical woods stuff.
1140
00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:29,441
He's close.
1141
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:30,772
I can feel it.
1142
00:54:30,934 --> 00:54:32,151
I can feel something.
1143
00:54:33,812 --> 00:54:34,859
Shit!
1144
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:39,276
- Jesus! My God!
- Shit.
1145
00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:41,445
- My, God!
- Wow, that's crazy.
1146
00:54:42,654 --> 00:54:45,282
Our friend is a psychopath,
and this is scary.
1147
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,293
He got me. I'm down.
1148
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:51,088
This is on you now. Come here.
1149
00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:52,919
Let me tag you.
1150
00:54:53,707 --> 00:54:55,300
Come on!
1151
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:56,960
All right.
1152
00:54:58,337 --> 00:54:59,338
I can see him.
1153
00:54:59,505 --> 00:55:02,850
He's at three o'clock. 50 yards out.
1154
00:55:03,008 --> 00:55:04,760
- Three o'clock. Got it.
- Three o'clock.
1155
00:55:06,678 --> 00:55:07,725
Sable!
1156
00:55:10,724 --> 00:55:12,101
That three o'clock.
1157
00:55:12,267 --> 00:55:14,235
- You didn't say which time zone, man!
- There's no time zones.
1158
00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:16,613
Why didn't you just point
the first time? Next time, just point.
1159
00:55:16,772 --> 00:55:17,944
It's that way. Go!
1160
00:55:18,106 --> 00:55:19,107
- Okay.
- GO, go:
1161
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:20,609
Go, Sable, go!
1162
00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:46,510
I see you.
1163
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:50,060
Yeah, motherfucker.
1164
00:55:55,269 --> 00:55:56,270
You're it!
1165
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:09,874
I don't like that.
1166
00:56:17,291 --> 00:56:18,292
Sleep.
1167
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:24,882
Sable?
1168
00:56:25,966 --> 00:56:27,218
Sable?
1169
00:56:41,690 --> 00:56:43,033
What happened?
1170
00:56:43,108 --> 00:56:44,325
Well, you got chloroformed.
1171
00:56:44,401 --> 00:56:46,028
Chloroformed? What?
1172
00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:47,909
Bob took our car,
and now we're in a Lyft.
1173
00:56:47,988 --> 00:56:49,114
We're going to the Sandpiper.
1174
00:56:49,698 --> 00:56:50,699
I don't wanna be it anymore.
1175
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:52,994
I don't wanna be it.
Hoagie, it's on you, bud.
1176
00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:54,077
Now, what the fuck?
1177
00:56:54,161 --> 00:56:56,414
Wait. I'm confused.
Whatjust happened in there?
1178
00:56:56,580 --> 00:56:59,129
Well, Jerry woke up early,
got some grounds crew
1179
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:02,261
to go out in the woods, build some
snares and a swinging log trap,
1180
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:04,968
and, wear matching outfits
to act as decoys.
1181
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:06,340
Maniac.
1182
00:57:09,092 --> 00:57:10,139
Are you okay?
1183
00:57:10,218 --> 00:57:13,313
Yes, yes. I am. I am... I'm good.
1184
00:57:13,805 --> 00:57:16,479
I am amazed that you're able to stay
so optimistic after all that.
1185
00:57:16,642 --> 00:57:19,145
Well, some have said
I am the heart and soul of the game.
1186
00:57:19,311 --> 00:57:20,528
No, you've said that.
1187
00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:22,064
You're the only person
I've heard say that.
1188
00:57:22,230 --> 00:57:25,985
Well, technically "just me"
fits the legal definition of "some,"
1189
00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:27,778
so suck a dick.
1190
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:32,416
Well, it seems like the game
has really kept you guys connected.
1191
00:57:32,574 --> 00:57:34,167
- Exactly.
- Well, except Jerry.
1192
00:57:34,326 --> 00:57:35,703
What? Don't say that.
1193
00:57:35,869 --> 00:57:37,371
How often do you see Jerry
outside of tag?
1194
00:57:37,454 --> 00:57:40,378
...Well, not super frequently, but--
1195
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:43,089
I mean, would you consider that
a close friendship?
1196
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:47,844
Well, that's kind of a dicky question.
1197
00:57:57,265 --> 00:57:58,312
Thank you.
1198
00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:03,773
All I'm saying is,
Callahan better fucking be here.
1199
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:11,113
What's up? What?
1200
00:58:11,279 --> 00:58:12,496
Look who decided to show up.
1201
00:58:12,656 --> 00:58:13,999
What? I had a business call
with Beijing.
1202
00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:15,075
Couldn't be helped. I'm sorry.
1203
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:17,794
Business call with Beijing? It would
have been 8:00 a.m. Saturday out there.
1204
00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:19,955
You doing business calls
at 8:00 a.m. Saturday morning?
1205
00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:21,749
Why do you know so much
about Beijing time zones?
1206
00:58:21,915 --> 00:58:24,759
2008 Olympics. Michael Phelps, baby.
1207
00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:27,550
Fair enough.
Okay, anyway, I have an idea.
1208
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:28,885
- Anybody want to hear it?
- Yes.
1209
00:58:29,047 --> 00:58:30,924
- What is it?
- Jerry's gym.
1210
00:58:31,383 --> 00:58:32,930
Someone there's gotta know where he is.
1211
00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:35,221
- I like this. That's a good idea.
- Great!
1212
00:58:35,387 --> 00:58:37,230
- Up top! Buckle up, gang!
- Yes! Giddy up!
1213
00:58:37,389 --> 00:58:38,766
- You're it, by the way.
- What's wrong?
1214
00:58:38,932 --> 00:58:40,605
- My fucking knee.
- What's wrong with your knee?
1215
00:58:40,767 --> 00:58:41,768
I got hit by a log.
1216
00:58:41,852 --> 00:58:42,944
You got hit by a log, what?
1217
00:58:43,020 --> 00:58:45,068
We were chasing him. I got hit
by a fucking log. It really hurts.
1218
00:58:45,147 --> 00:58:47,525
I'm gonna go in. Fuck, I'm pissed off
about this, but go.
1219
00:58:47,607 --> 00:58:48,950
You want me to call the pediatrician?
1220
00:58:49,067 --> 00:58:50,444
I'm an adult.
I don't need a pediatrician.
1221
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:51,528
You're not coming?
1222
00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:53,659
I think I'm gonna slow you down.
Why don't you guys go?
1223
00:58:53,822 --> 00:58:54,994
After the gym, let's meet up.
1224
00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:56,158
All right, fine.
1225
00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:57,325
Trust me, I wanna go, but I just--
1226
00:58:57,492 --> 00:59:00,120
Y'all need a sub? I'm in!
1227
00:59:00,287 --> 00:59:01,834
We're super good, man. Thanks!
1228
00:59:01,913 --> 00:59:03,665
We're good.
1229
00:59:03,832 --> 00:59:06,085
Who's banned now, bitch?
1230
00:59:06,668 --> 00:59:10,138
I'm okay.
All right, guys. Take it easy!
1231
00:59:21,683 --> 00:59:23,481
That knee healed up fast.
1232
00:59:23,643 --> 00:59:25,270
Stay out of this, Lou.
1233
00:59:29,524 --> 00:59:31,492
You saucy devil.
1234
00:59:42,496 --> 00:59:45,875
Hey, there, welcome to Granite Fitness.
Get hard, stay hard.
1235
00:59:46,041 --> 00:59:49,011
Just so you guys know, we're going
to be closing in five short minutes,
1236
00:59:49,169 --> 00:59:51,171
but is there anything
I can help you with?
1237
00:59:51,379 --> 00:59:53,507
Yes, Dave, in fact, there is something
you could help us with.
1238
00:59:53,673 --> 00:59:55,926
How would you like to earn $500?
1239
01:00:03,266 --> 01:00:06,190
Okay, just so you guys know, I'm not
sucking your guys' dicks, all right?
1240
01:00:06,353 --> 01:00:07,980
And I'm not letting you
suck my dick either.
1241
01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:11,116
No one is talking about anyone
sucking anyone's anything.
1242
01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:14,278
You sure about that?
'Cause this guy's eyeing me hard.
1243
01:00:14,653 --> 01:00:15,654
What?
1244
01:00:15,821 --> 01:00:17,073
I'm just saying, man,
you've got that vibe.
1245
01:00:17,155 --> 01:00:18,748
- Yeah?
- Stop it.
1246
01:00:18,907 --> 01:00:20,250
Hey, Sable, seriously. Chill.
1247
01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,580
- Just stop it.
- Stop it.
1248
01:00:21,785 --> 01:00:25,460
It's too sexual. You're undressing me,
literally, right now with your eyes.
1249
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:31,512
Dave. 500 bucks, and all we want
is to know where Jerry is.
1250
01:00:33,130 --> 01:00:36,430
Jerry. Yes, okay, shit.
1251
01:00:36,508 --> 01:00:39,808
He did mention that some people
were gonna swing by looking for him.
1252
01:00:40,053 --> 01:00:42,772
He left a message. Um, yeah.
1253
01:00:42,931 --> 01:00:44,399
Go fuck yourselves.
1254
01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,852
Okay, look. $1,000.
All right? Easy money.
1255
01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,144
Jerry won't even know
that you sold him out.
1256
01:00:48,311 --> 01:00:50,188
I got a better idea.
Why don't you go back
1257
01:00:50,355 --> 01:00:52,699
to the little Best Western
that you're staying in
1258
01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:54,952
and jerk each other off in the nude?
1259
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:57,283
Why do you keep taking this conversation
into a sexual direction?
1260
01:00:57,445 --> 01:01:00,540
Listen, Dave. $1,500. Don't be an idiot.
1261
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,872
Not a chance,
you dick-sucking homophobes.
1262
01:01:02,951 --> 01:01:04,248
- Hey!
- What?
1263
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:05,495
Dave?
1264
01:01:06,621 --> 01:01:07,793
Do you know what we're gonna do?
1265
01:01:07,956 --> 01:01:08,957
What?
1266
01:01:12,586 --> 01:01:14,964
We're gonna waterboard you.
1267
01:01:26,099 --> 01:01:27,601
Don't be a hero, Dave.
1268
01:01:27,767 --> 01:01:29,394
Jerry doesn't give a shit about you.
1269
01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:32,113
So tell us where he is.
1270
01:01:32,564 --> 01:01:33,907
I'm never gonna tell you.
1271
01:01:34,941 --> 01:01:35,988
Last chance, Dave.
1272
01:01:37,819 --> 01:01:41,198
You're not gonna go through with this
for some game, so quit jerking me off!
1273
01:01:43,074 --> 01:01:44,075
Jesus.
1274
01:01:44,242 --> 01:01:45,789
No one's jerking you off, kid,
1275
01:01:45,952 --> 01:01:47,670
'cause Jerry has pushed us
to the fucking edge.
1276
01:01:47,829 --> 01:01:49,923
If you don't tell us
what we need to know,
1277
01:01:49,998 --> 01:01:51,625
you're going over the edge with us.
1278
01:01:51,791 --> 01:01:52,917
You ready to die for this shit?
1279
01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:55,212
I'd rather die than get sucked off
by you homophobes.
1280
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:58,257
We're not gonna suck you off.
We're gonna waterboard you.
1281
01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,300
I'm just taking
a principled stand right now.
1282
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:02,720
Okay. Well, guess what.
Now, this is gonna happen. All right?
1283
01:02:02,886 --> 01:02:04,638
Are you ready?
I hope you can hold your breath, son!
1284
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:05,722
Do it!
1285
01:02:05,805 --> 01:02:07,523
'Cause this is going right down!
1286
01:02:07,682 --> 01:02:09,605
- Yeah!
- Yeah! You son of a bitch!
1287
01:02:09,768 --> 01:02:10,860
Here it comes!
1288
01:02:11,019 --> 01:02:12,191
It's coming!
It's coming! It's coming!
1289
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:14,152
Yeah. You know, we should not.
1290
01:02:14,314 --> 01:02:16,487
I feel like it would be way too much.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1291
01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:17,697
That got out of hand.
1292
01:02:17,859 --> 01:02:19,532
My heart is beating
really fast right now.
1293
01:02:19,694 --> 01:02:21,788
We were just Kidding.
We were just bluffing.
1294
01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:24,541
- No, we weren't fucking bluffing!
- Anna, Anna, Anna!
1295
01:02:24,699 --> 01:02:26,827
- My God, no. Just, no.
- Sweetheart.
1296
01:02:26,993 --> 01:02:29,837
It's a war crime, right?
It's not really who we are.
1297
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:30,997
Yes, sorry.
1298
01:02:31,164 --> 01:02:33,041
We got a kinky cat over here.
1299
01:02:33,375 --> 01:02:34,797
- Okay.
- Fuck you, Dave.
1300
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,803
God, I love your passion.
1301
01:02:36,962 --> 01:02:38,589
I'll tell you what.
1302
01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:43,477
I will tell you where Jerry's gonna be
1303
01:02:44,302 --> 01:02:47,977
for $2,000. Cash. American.
1304
01:02:48,139 --> 01:02:49,140
- Okay, fine.
- No problem.
1305
01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:50,650
Why didn't you say that
in the first place?
1306
01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:52,356
Why did you take us
down this whole road?
1307
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,192
Well, it looked like
there was room to negotiate,
1308
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:55,397
and I was all prepared to do that.
1309
01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:57,736
But then we went down
the whole torture track,
1310
01:02:57,899 --> 01:03:00,994
and I just dug
my heels in, philosophically.
1311
01:03:01,069 --> 01:03:02,696
I happen to be an objector.
1312
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,202
- We are too, obviously.
- Not really.
1313
01:03:05,365 --> 01:03:06,366
It was a bluff.
1314
01:03:06,533 --> 01:03:08,035
You know what?
You should probably not write this down,
1315
01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:09,327
and if it does come up,
1316
01:03:09,494 --> 01:03:12,589
just mention that
we didn't actually waterboard him.
1317
01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:13,748
No waterboarding.
1318
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:16,134
Just a lot of talk about
sucking each other's dicks.
1319
01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:17,669
Yeah.
1320
01:03:18,670 --> 01:03:20,013
Okay, look, you know what? Here.
1321
01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:26,224
I'm gonna give you $2,000,
and I'm gonna give you an extra $500.
1322
01:03:26,386 --> 01:03:28,434
You just carry around that kind of cash
all day?
1323
01:03:28,596 --> 01:03:30,598
You were mentioning something
about Jerry, I think.
1324
01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:34,110
Yeah, Jerry is in AA.
1325
01:03:34,269 --> 01:03:36,818
- Wait, what?
- Yeah. Alcoholics Anonymous.
1326
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,982
I know what it stands for. Wait, did you
guys know anything about this?
1327
01:03:39,357 --> 01:03:42,076
He goes there every morning
at a church on Brunswick.
1328
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:43,953
Looking back, I can kind of see it.
1329
01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:46,581
I mean, the first step is recognizing
you have a problem.
1330
01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:49,705
I'm just glad
he's getting the help he needs.
1331
01:03:50,327 --> 01:03:52,000
Sorry, did you say
that church is on Brunswick?
1332
01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:53,163
- Yes.
- Okay!
1333
01:03:53,288 --> 01:03:54,631
- Let's go! Clean up the water!
- Thank you!
1334
01:03:54,789 --> 01:03:56,132
So sorry.
1335
01:03:57,584 --> 01:03:59,882
I told you this wasn't gonna be just
another boring corporate profile, right?
1336
01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:01,547
Right. This is definitely different.
1337
01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:04,216
And I know I'm no longer
the center of the story,
1338
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:06,510
which is fine with me.
I don't mind giving up the...
1339
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:11,477
Bob, can I buy you a drink?
1340
01:04:11,639 --> 01:04:13,357
Can you fucking believe this?
Hold on one second.
1341
01:04:13,558 --> 01:04:15,310
- Maybe...
- One second, one second.
1342
01:04:15,477 --> 01:04:17,320
Terrible experience.
So that we will never do it...
1343
01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:20,983
Hi! Hi! WOW! L00k at this.
1344
01:04:21,149 --> 01:04:22,196
- How you doing?
- Good.
1345
01:04:22,359 --> 01:04:23,531
Pretty good.
Yeah, we're just catching up.
1346
01:04:23,693 --> 01:04:25,070
That's so nice. How's that knee?
1347
01:04:25,236 --> 01:04:26,988
- It actually does hurt.
- Yeah.
1348
01:04:27,155 --> 01:04:29,783
But resting and talking to an old friend
has actually really helped.
1349
01:04:29,949 --> 01:04:31,121
Thank you for asking.
1350
01:04:31,201 --> 01:04:32,703
Hey, how was the business call
with Beijing?
1351
01:04:33,244 --> 01:04:34,245
- Super good.
- It was?
1352
01:04:34,329 --> 01:04:36,252
- Yeah, I got a lot done.
- Great.
1353
01:04:36,331 --> 01:04:38,379
What, you think I faked
my business call to Beijing
1354
01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:39,675
like you faked hurting your knee?
1355
01:04:39,834 --> 01:04:42,178
You know what, dude?
I'm sick of this shit, Bob.
1356
01:04:42,337 --> 01:04:43,930
- You're it. How about that?
- No! Pass.
1357
01:04:44,089 --> 01:04:45,887
- You can't pass. And you can't tag back.
- You're it. I pass.
1358
01:04:46,049 --> 01:04:47,517
- My God.
- It's like literally the first rule.
1359
01:04:47,675 --> 01:04:49,097
- You're it! You're it! You're it!
- You cannot tag me back!
1360
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,851
- I'll rewrite the fucking rule book!
- Shut up!
1361
01:04:51,930 --> 01:04:52,931
Why're you acting like children?
1362
01:04:53,181 --> 01:04:54,433
-'Cause he started it.
- You started it.
1363
01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:55,608
You literally started it.
1364
01:04:55,683 --> 01:04:56,730
- No, you started it!
- "My knee hurts."
1365
01:04:56,810 --> 01:04:57,857
What do you think they're talking about?
1366
01:04:57,936 --> 01:04:59,062
Are we off the record?
1367
01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:00,572
Yeah, sure, sure.
1368
01:05:01,648 --> 01:05:02,695
No idea.
1369
01:05:02,857 --> 01:05:04,404
You know what?
I shouldn't have come.
1370
01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:06,111
Jerry always gets in your head.
1371
01:05:06,277 --> 01:05:07,950
Did Jerry tell you to say that?
1372
01:05:08,113 --> 01:05:09,660
You part of the whole
Truman Show of it all?
1373
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:11,825
I mean, Jerry invited me
to the rehearsal dinner
1374
01:05:11,991 --> 01:05:14,585
because he thought it would distract
you guys, which it did.
1375
01:05:14,744 --> 01:05:18,294
But, um, I wanted to see you. So I came.
1376
01:05:18,373 --> 01:05:19,420
Sure.
1377
01:05:19,499 --> 01:05:20,500
My God.
1378
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:23,962
You guys are fucking idiots.
Both of you. But I love you both.
1379
01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:26,218
I'm gonna go. Maybe I'll see you later.
Or not.
1380
01:05:26,381 --> 01:05:29,555
- Cheryl...
- Go get Jerry. He fucking deserves it.
1381
01:05:30,969 --> 01:05:32,221
Bye, Cheryl.
1382
01:05:32,971 --> 01:05:34,268
Wow!
1383
01:05:34,431 --> 01:05:35,432
What do you want?
1384
01:05:35,557 --> 01:05:38,731
There's gonna be plenty of time
to get rejected by Cheryl
1385
01:05:38,893 --> 01:05:41,567
after 12:00 a.m. on June 1st.
1386
01:05:41,729 --> 01:05:46,986
So what I need you guys to focus on,
is the fact that we're a team.
1387
01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:50,497
Right? We love each other,
and we love this.
1388
01:05:50,655 --> 01:05:54,580
Let's bask in that.
Stay focused on our mission. All right?
1389
01:05:54,742 --> 01:05:56,369
Let's get back on this horse and ride.
1390
01:05:56,536 --> 01:05:58,004
Let's get this asshole.
1391
01:05:58,163 --> 01:06:00,336
Lou, not part of it. Not at all.
1392
01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:01,715
Now, shake.
1393
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:03,793
Shake!
1394
01:06:06,588 --> 01:06:09,216
All right. Now we got some work to do.
1395
01:06:21,644 --> 01:06:22,645
Got it.
1396
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:24,655
Go get him, sweetie.
1397
01:06:43,041 --> 01:06:45,715
Hey, do you think we should talk
to Jerry about being an alcoholic
1398
01:06:45,877 --> 01:06:48,346
-before we get into all this?
- No.
1399
01:06:50,715 --> 01:06:55,312
But now, I've been clean and sober
for almost four years.
1400
01:06:55,887 --> 01:06:59,482
Thanks to all of you
and that higher power. Amen?
1401
01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:01,769
- Amen.
- Amen.
1402
01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,939
Jerry, you about ready to share?
1403
01:07:06,397 --> 01:07:08,240
Come on, y'all,
let's give it up for Jerry.
1404
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:18,330
- My name is Jerry.
- Hi, Jerry.
1405
01:07:21,704 --> 01:07:26,835
JERRY". The slight scent of weed. Chilli.
He thinks he's caught me off guard.
1406
01:07:27,418 --> 01:07:29,341
My God!
I've caught him off guard.
1407
01:07:32,799 --> 01:07:34,517
He rushes in from behind.
1408
01:07:35,176 --> 01:07:37,474
Idiot. I give him a wake-up call.
1409
01:07:43,601 --> 01:07:47,276
Hazelnut coffee?
What kind of bitch drinks hazelnut?
1410
01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,826
Holy! Chilli! Hit me!
1411
01:07:53,027 --> 01:07:54,028
Get him!
1412
01:07:54,362 --> 01:07:57,491
I'm going to trap him
and tag him in the face,
1413
01:07:57,991 --> 01:08:01,586
and yet, in my heart of hearts,
pretty sure it's not gonna work.
1414
01:08:04,289 --> 01:08:07,338
Hoagie's attempts to face me fail
because he lacks confidence.
1415
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:10,254
Also, I think it's fair to say,
1416
01:08:10,962 --> 01:08:14,307
I'm fucking surgical
with these complimentary donuts.
1417
01:08:18,219 --> 01:08:21,814
And this is why
print journalism is dying.
1418
01:08:25,059 --> 01:08:28,108
BOB. Yes! This is the moment
I've been waiting for.
1419
01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:30,649
I'm going to be the one who tags Jerry.
1420
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,204
JERRY". Callahan will become distracted
by his own arrogant thoughts,
1421
01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:39,995
which I will exploit.
1422
01:08:40,158 --> 01:08:41,626
BOB". This will be my victory,
1423
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:44,250
which makes sense
because success breeds success...
1424
01:08:45,163 --> 01:08:46,164
God.
1425
01:08:57,550 --> 01:09:02,556
How come "bi-weekly" means both
twice a week and every other week?
1426
01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:06,568
That's mad confusing
and it's just linguistically lazy.
1427
01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:13,775
Shit!
1428
01:09:25,495 --> 01:09:27,088
- Holy shit!
- Excessive.
1429
01:09:35,880 --> 01:09:38,224
Feeling trapped, Jerry?
1430
01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:39,808
No.
1431
01:09:39,967 --> 01:09:40,968
Nice.
1432
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:45,181
Holy shit!
1433
01:09:47,392 --> 01:09:48,393
No, no, no!
1434
01:09:49,894 --> 01:09:52,192
No, no, no!
1435
01:09:52,313 --> 01:09:54,315
We got you, Jerry! You're trapped!
1436
01:09:54,482 --> 01:09:57,486
Five hours till your wedding!
We can wait it out if you can!
1437
01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:15,928
Shit. You know what I just realized?
1438
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:18,340
There's a lot of sacramental wine
and wafers in there.
1439
01:10:18,506 --> 01:10:19,678
He could survive for quite a while.
1440
01:10:19,841 --> 01:10:21,013
No, he can't drink.
1441
01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:23,269
- Yeah, but it's not real wine.
- Yes, it is.
1442
01:10:23,428 --> 01:10:24,896
It's just grape juice. It's not wine.
1443
01:10:25,054 --> 01:10:28,775
I mean, I was once so fucked up
that I took a shit in my niece's crib.
1444
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:31,436
Twice, if you ask my sister-in-law.
1445
01:10:32,353 --> 01:10:33,605
So how long you been sober?
1446
01:10:33,771 --> 01:10:35,899
No, I'm not sober.
I'm high right now.
1447
01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:37,404
I'm just here to tag my friend.
1448
01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:41,743
Good luck with the sobriety, man.
That's cool. Definitely.
1449
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:43,827
It's awful quiet in there.
1450
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,038
You know what he's doing?
It's a classic ruse.
1451
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,919
Make them think there's an exit
and he already escaped. Not buying it.
1452
01:10:49,078 --> 01:10:51,046
I buy it. I bet he has a secret door
back there.
1453
01:10:51,205 --> 01:10:53,207
Refrigerator turns into an elevator.
1454
01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:54,292
What?
1455
01:10:54,375 --> 01:10:56,548
Takes the elevator down to the basement.
That's his lair.
1456
01:10:56,627 --> 01:10:58,345
- Different outfits, computer screens.
- What are you talking about?
1457
01:10:58,421 --> 01:11:00,640
- Cameras watching us.
- He's not Batman.
1458
01:11:03,801 --> 01:11:05,144
Told you. In there.
1459
01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:06,395
What's it say?
1460
01:11:07,722 --> 01:11:10,851
-"Eat my dick."
-"Eat my dick." "Balls." "Ass"?
1461
01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:12,064
"Butt."
1462
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:13,190
"Ice cream."
1463
01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:14,270
- What?
- What?
1464
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,815
Yeah, he's taunting me.
He knows I'm lactose intolerant.
1465
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,902
What is going on? Where is he?
1466
01:11:21,694 --> 01:11:23,662
Where is he?
1467
01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:30,832
Jerry?
1468
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:33,999
We're supposed to be getting
our wedding photos done in an hour.
1469
01:11:34,081 --> 01:11:35,458
What are you doing?
1470
01:11:35,625 --> 01:11:37,343
- Come on out, Jerry.
- Jerry, you can come out.
1471
01:11:37,502 --> 01:11:38,549
We're not gonna get you, Jerry.
1472
01:11:38,711 --> 01:11:40,258
Babe, look, calm down.
Look, I'm sorry.
1473
01:11:40,421 --> 01:11:42,594
Shut up, Jerry.
I can't fucking take this, Jerry.
1474
01:11:42,757 --> 01:11:44,134
She can't take it. Come on out.
1475
01:11:44,300 --> 01:11:46,519
Honey, why are you playing this game
right now?
1476
01:11:46,594 --> 01:11:48,722
Why are you playing this game
with your friends right now?
1477
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:50,773
Why is he playing this game right now?
1478
01:11:50,932 --> 01:11:52,855
Hey, babe, look.
You gotta calm down, okay?
1479
01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:54,561
Listen to me! It's very hard
1480
01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:57,901
because you have decided
to ruin everything.
1481
01:11:58,064 --> 01:12:00,158
And so have you.
1482
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:03,286
With your stupid face,
and your stupid beard,
1483
01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:05,071
and your stupid glasses,
1484
01:12:05,238 --> 01:12:07,036
and that stupid jumpsuit.
1485
01:12:07,114 --> 01:12:10,038
There's only so much
a girl can take,
1486
01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:12,920
and then you want me
on top of that, just to...
1487
01:12:15,706 --> 01:12:17,333
My God. Are you okay?
1488
01:12:17,500 --> 01:12:20,754
- Babe? Suz? Sue?
- Jerry. My God.
1489
01:12:21,128 --> 01:12:22,721
- Boo? Boo-boo?
- Sue'?
1490
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:24,598
Boo-boo? Boo-boo?
1491
01:12:24,757 --> 01:12:26,179
What happened? Wait, wait, wait.
What happened?
1492
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:27,343
Susan, are you okay?
1493
01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:29,353
- Sit down, sit down, sit down.
- It's the baby. It's the baby.
1494
01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:31,480
It's finally happening. He's right here.
Who's it? Bob, tag him.
1495
01:12:31,639 --> 01:12:32,811
- Are you kidding me?
- What?
1496
01:12:32,974 --> 01:12:33,975
There's something wrong with her baby.
1497
01:12:34,141 --> 01:12:35,859
There's nothing wrong with that baby.
It's a fake.
1498
01:12:36,018 --> 01:12:37,520
If you won't do it, then tag me.
I'm gonna do it.
1499
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,530
Yeah. Fine.
You want me to tag you, then?
1500
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:40,986
Oops, I missed.
1501
01:12:41,148 --> 01:12:42,320
As usual, you're completely wrong.
1502
01:12:42,483 --> 01:12:44,451
This? You think I'm wrong?
This is so over the top!
1503
01:12:44,610 --> 01:12:45,782
This is obvious.
1504
01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:49,157
Tag me, and I'll give him a hug.
1505
01:12:49,323 --> 01:12:50,666
And I'll say,
"if she's having a miscarriage,
1506
01:12:50,741 --> 01:12:52,084
"this is awful, and you're it."
1507
01:12:52,410 --> 01:12:54,208
Are you kidding me right now?
1508
01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:56,498
You know what? This feels like a scene
from What Would You Do?
1509
01:12:56,664 --> 01:12:59,008
You get put in a precarious situation,
1510
01:12:59,166 --> 01:13:01,089
and you have to make the right decision.
1511
01:13:01,252 --> 01:13:02,299
It's all actors and cameras.
1512
01:13:02,461 --> 01:13:06,182
It's not great television,
but it hooks me in.
1513
01:13:06,340 --> 01:13:07,341
What?
1514
01:13:07,425 --> 01:13:08,802
Come on.
1515
01:13:08,968 --> 01:13:10,470
All right, we're good.
We're gonna get to the hospital.
1516
01:13:11,762 --> 01:13:15,687
Jesus. Hey! Jerry? Jerry, if you need
anything I could easily--
1517
01:13:15,766 --> 01:13:17,268
You come near her or my baby,
1518
01:13:17,435 --> 01:13:18,857
I'll crush your windpipe, Bob.
1519
01:13:20,438 --> 01:13:22,190
This ain't no fucking game.
1520
01:13:27,945 --> 01:13:29,447
I'm pretty sure it's real, guys.
1521
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:32,743
I will be so pissed
if she didn't have a miscarriage.
1522
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:33,910
Chilli!
1523
01:13:34,327 --> 01:13:35,328
We all would be.
1524
01:13:35,494 --> 01:13:36,871
- It's just a thing you don't...
- Say.
1525
01:13:37,038 --> 01:13:38,381
It's implied.
1526
01:13:58,643 --> 01:14:00,737
Hey, Linda. Namaste.
1527
01:14:03,064 --> 01:14:04,907
Shouldn't you boys be getting cleaned up
for the wedding?
1528
01:14:05,066 --> 01:14:07,239
Not you, Chilli.
You're perfect.
1529
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,240
Thanks, Linda.
1530
01:14:09,403 --> 01:14:11,371
I don't think
anybody's gonna be freshening up.
1531
01:14:14,700 --> 01:14:16,577
Hoagie, you can't go looking like that.
1532
01:14:19,914 --> 01:14:23,544
"To everyone asking,
the wedding has been postponed.
1533
01:14:23,709 --> 01:14:25,757
"Thank you for your thoughts
and prayers."
1534
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,172
It's from Jerry's mom.
1535
01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:30,258
- Well, maybe we're bad people.
- Maybe?
1536
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:32,017
Yes, I think we definitely are.
1537
01:14:32,093 --> 01:14:33,094
We might be.
1538
01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:36,647
Tag used to be a thing
that made me really happy.
1539
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:40,273
But now, it's destroying me. I feel sad.
1540
01:14:40,434 --> 01:14:41,777
Shut the fuck up, Sable.
1541
01:14:41,936 --> 01:14:44,940
Has anyone seen
the bridesmaids' lnstagram stories?
1542
01:14:45,982 --> 01:14:47,609
Check it out.
1543
01:14:48,234 --> 01:14:51,534
"Wedding's canceled."
Sad face emoji.
1544
01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:54,324
"I can't wear the dress.
Such a pretty dress.
1545
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:56,413
"So sad." Goodbye emoji. "Was it a..."
1546
01:14:56,575 --> 01:15:00,170
Really? ls there any chance
that all these women could post banal,
1547
01:15:00,329 --> 01:15:02,457
minute-by-minute moments from their day,
1548
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,668
with mind-numbing captions
at the same time?
1549
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,677
- Totally.
- Absolutely. That's all lnstagram is.
1550
01:15:06,752 --> 01:15:09,130
- Yeah.
- I don't know about this, guys.
1551
01:15:09,296 --> 01:15:11,674
It doesn't feel right. I smell a rat.
1552
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:12,804
That's what I've been saying.
1553
01:15:12,883 --> 01:15:13,884
I have been actually saying this
the whole time.
1554
01:15:14,051 --> 01:15:17,726
Hey, sweetheart, can we just move on?
It's over.
1555
01:15:17,888 --> 01:15:19,731
But it's not. Now, come on, guys.
1556
01:15:19,849 --> 01:15:21,351
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
1557
01:15:21,517 --> 01:15:23,019
- Bob.
- What'd I do?
1558
01:15:23,185 --> 01:15:24,277
Can I take a photograph of you?
1559
01:15:24,562 --> 01:15:25,814
No. Okay.
1560
01:15:25,896 --> 01:15:26,897
Cute.
1561
01:15:27,231 --> 01:15:28,608
I'm gonna set up
an lnstagram account for you.
1562
01:15:28,774 --> 01:15:29,775
Please don't.
1563
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:32,403
Rachel Ditmus is the only bridesmaid
with a private lnstagram account.
1564
01:15:32,570 --> 01:15:34,823
She's been wanting you to finger bang
her since the sixth grade.
1565
01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:38,125
If anybody's stupid enough
to fall for our request,
1566
01:15:38,200 --> 01:15:40,828
it will be that dum-dum.
1567
01:15:40,911 --> 01:15:44,040
And sent.
All we've got to do now is wait.
1568
01:15:44,123 --> 01:15:46,296
And accepted!
1569
01:15:46,459 --> 01:15:47,927
- Really?
- That was weirdly fast.
1570
01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:49,337
Do not finger bang her.
1571
01:15:49,503 --> 01:15:52,256
My God. I was right.
1572
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,551
- What? What are we looking at here?
- What the hell is this?
1573
01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:55,809
A wedding dress.
1574
01:15:55,968 --> 01:15:56,969
What the fuck?
1575
01:15:57,553 --> 01:15:58,930
They faked the fucking miscarriage!
1576
01:15:59,096 --> 01:16:01,519
No, no, no. Jerry's going down.
We're gonna destroy that wedding.
1577
01:16:01,682 --> 01:16:03,355
- Let's go!
- This is bullshit. That is so fucked up.
1578
01:16:03,517 --> 01:16:04,518
Absolutely.
1579
01:16:07,938 --> 01:16:08,939
Hoagie?
1580
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:12,610
Hoagie, what are you doing?
1581
01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:14,074
Damn it!
1582
01:16:14,695 --> 01:16:16,117
- Sweetie.
- Hoagie?
1583
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:17,623
Be careful.
1584
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,167
Should we stop him, or...
1585
01:16:20,326 --> 01:16:22,545
I'm not getting near him.
He's swinging that bat around.
1586
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:27,208
- Sweetie, that's your mom's.
- Yeah, you're gonna hurt yourself.
1587
01:16:35,424 --> 01:16:40,976
We lost! He beat us! The game is over!
1588
01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:44,392
We can't tag Jerry.
1589
01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:49,526
It's just time for us to come to terms
with that. He's untouchable. That's it.
1590
01:16:49,688 --> 01:16:51,281
What do you wanna do?
You wanna just give up?
1591
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:53,943
Yeah, Bob. I wanna give up.
It's time to give up.
1592
01:16:54,110 --> 01:16:55,703
Come on, Hogan. You're not a quitter.
1593
01:16:55,861 --> 01:16:57,204
What's the alternative?
1594
01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:00,204
We go to the wedding.
We try to tag him. We fail.
1595
01:17:00,783 --> 01:17:02,285
And we fuck up the wedding?
1596
01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:03,870
That's not a cool move.
That's a dick move.
1597
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:05,583
That's not what friends do.
That's what assholes do.
1598
01:17:05,746 --> 01:17:08,545
Hoagie! He faked a fucking miscarriage.
1599
01:17:08,707 --> 01:17:10,801
This is a miscarriage ofjustice.
1600
01:17:11,836 --> 01:17:13,179
This is where we get him.
1601
01:17:13,337 --> 01:17:14,554
He deserves to pay for that.
1602
01:17:15,422 --> 01:17:17,766
Even if we wanted to do that,
we all signed an amendment.
1603
01:17:17,925 --> 01:17:21,179
Amendments are null and void
if you fake a miscarriage.
1604
01:17:21,345 --> 01:17:22,892
That's just basic contract law.
1605
01:17:23,055 --> 01:17:24,648
- That's law. Basic contract law.
- Law.
1606
01:17:24,807 --> 01:17:25,808
Like he said.
1607
01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:28,273
- I literally said exactly that.
- I know. We're saying it together.
1608
01:17:28,435 --> 01:17:31,780
But I was also right earlier
because I said the miscarriage was fake.
1609
01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:35,986
The amendment stands,
and maybe that's a good thing.
1610
01:17:36,610 --> 01:17:39,489
Maybe it's time to grow up a little.
1611
01:17:39,864 --> 01:17:41,787
I'm going to the wedding.
1612
01:17:42,533 --> 01:17:46,959
And you guys can do what you want.
I hope you come too.
1613
01:17:47,121 --> 01:17:48,964
Chilli, just put on a tie.
1614
01:17:52,376 --> 01:17:53,423
Sweetie.
1615
01:17:57,214 --> 01:17:58,306
Do you even have a tie?
1616
01:17:58,465 --> 01:17:59,637
Yes, I have a tie.
1617
01:17:59,717 --> 01:18:01,435
- Do you need to borrow a tie?
- Yes, I need to borrow a tie.
1618
01:18:44,595 --> 01:18:47,769
Hi! I'm so glad you made it!
1619
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,100
Is that champagne?
1620
01:18:49,183 --> 01:18:51,231
I know.
1621
01:18:51,644 --> 01:18:53,362
I'm the girl who cried miscarriage.
1622
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:56,865
But I had to get him out of that room
and distract you for a couple of hours
1623
01:18:57,024 --> 01:18:58,492
so that the amendment could kick in.
1624
01:18:58,651 --> 01:19:00,278
Wait. Are you even pregnant?
1625
01:19:00,361 --> 01:19:01,783
No, I was never pregnant.
1626
01:19:01,946 --> 01:19:03,072
You were never pregnant?
1627
01:19:03,155 --> 01:19:04,281
Whoa.
1628
01:19:04,365 --> 01:19:05,867
Just listen. Jerry knew
1629
01:19:06,033 --> 01:19:07,831
that you guys might get the drop on him
1630
01:19:07,993 --> 01:19:10,712
so "Operation Miscarriage"
was our fail-safe.
1631
01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:13,044
- It was an operation?
- It was actually my idea.
1632
01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:14,751
- Brilliant. Brilliant!
- Thanks.
1633
01:19:14,917 --> 01:19:16,089
That's diabolical.
1634
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:19,256
Everyone's just pissed because you won,
and they're boys.
1635
01:19:19,338 --> 01:19:22,638
They can't get pregnant,
so they can't fake a miscarriage.
1636
01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:24,180
It's true.
1637
01:19:24,343 --> 01:19:26,562
Look, I'm not saying I want you
to have a miscarriage.
1638
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:27,721
Then don't.
1639
01:19:27,888 --> 01:19:31,062
'Cause that would be terrible.
But if you ever do have a miscarriage,
1640
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,774
I don't wanna say that you would
deserve it 'cause that's too far,
1641
01:19:33,936 --> 01:19:36,314
but what I will say and what I do feel
1642
01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:38,448
is that's what you get.
1643
01:19:38,983 --> 01:19:42,078
Okay. It's fine.
We can all have different feelings.
1644
01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:44,826
But it's our wedding day, you guys.
Come on.
1645
01:19:44,989 --> 01:19:47,117
And we came up with this great amendment
1646
01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:51,914
so that we could all enjoy this day
together and have fun and relax.
1647
01:19:52,079 --> 01:19:53,171
Are we cool?
1648
01:19:53,872 --> 01:19:55,874
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Not yet.
1649
01:19:56,250 --> 01:20:00,676
Sorry. Not cool yet.
It's just, you did murder a child.
1650
01:20:00,754 --> 01:20:01,755
No.
1651
01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:02,886
She didn't.
No, it was a fake miscarriage.
1652
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,927
Yeah, not the imaginary child
that was inside of you,
1653
01:20:06,093 --> 01:20:09,848
but the actual inner child
that lives inside of me
1654
01:20:10,014 --> 01:20:11,266
got decapitated.
1655
01:20:11,390 --> 01:20:15,816
Head flew up, did flips in the air,
blood spurting everywhere.
1656
01:20:15,978 --> 01:20:19,482
Hoagie, Jerry has a perfect record,
1657
01:20:19,648 --> 01:20:21,116
and we're a team now.
1658
01:20:21,567 --> 01:20:22,693
The winning team.
1659
01:20:22,860 --> 01:20:25,613
And I just feel like, Hoagie,
if you're gonna play
1660
01:20:25,779 --> 01:20:28,953
a children's game as a grown man,
1661
01:20:29,116 --> 01:20:31,869
maybe, next time,
don't play like a child.
1662
01:20:33,912 --> 01:20:37,507
Anyways, I am really excited
you guys are here.
1663
01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,215
Try the raw bar. It's off the hook.
1664
01:20:40,377 --> 01:20:42,505
It's my wedding!
I'm getting married!
1665
01:20:42,671 --> 01:20:45,299
- Congratulations.
- Come on! Grab it!
1666
01:20:49,970 --> 01:20:52,849
I take back everything I said
about her being effervescent.
1667
01:20:53,599 --> 01:20:55,442
I met Jerry in AA.
1668
01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:58,525
You see, people,
I got a lot of problems.
1669
01:20:58,687 --> 01:21:03,739
Anger issues. I left my wife.
I have many kids.
1670
01:21:03,901 --> 01:21:07,155
And this man
got me to turn to the cloth.
1671
01:21:07,321 --> 01:21:09,119
It was a low point in my life.
1672
01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:11,454
There was jail time involved.
1673
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:13,836
I briefly converted to Islam.
1674
01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:18,249
I lost a long legal battle
with Jo-Ann Fabrics.
1675
01:21:18,415 --> 01:21:21,669
During that time, I got to know
Jerry and Susan as a couple.
1676
01:21:21,835 --> 01:21:22,961
And that is a true blessing.
1677
01:21:23,128 --> 01:21:25,551
What's the difference between
Episcopalian and Lutheran?
1678
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:28,183
Episcopalians don't eat fish.
1679
01:21:29,343 --> 01:21:33,018
That's pescatarian.
That's not a religion.
1680
01:21:33,180 --> 01:21:34,853
They're all fanatics. I don't know.
1681
01:21:35,599 --> 01:21:38,443
Remind me again, is it on the kiss
or after they walk back down the aisle?
1682
01:21:38,602 --> 01:21:41,355
Seriously?
You said you'd worked weddings before.
1683
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:45,447
The kiss, the doves, end of ceremony.
The groom was very specific about this.
1684
01:21:45,609 --> 01:21:48,328
...and finds new ways
of expressing love
1685
01:21:48,404 --> 01:21:51,283
through the ups and downs of life.
1686
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:54,827
Susan, do you take Jerry
to be your husband?
1687
01:21:55,536 --> 01:21:58,005
Do you promise to love, honor,
cherish and protect him,
1688
01:21:58,163 --> 01:22:02,168
forsaking all others,
holding only to him forever more?
1689
01:22:02,835 --> 01:22:03,927
I do.
1690
01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:05,087
Beautiful.
1691
01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:07,097
There's gonna be a window.
1692
01:22:07,256 --> 01:22:09,258
- What, sweetie?
- The doves.
1693
01:22:09,967 --> 01:22:11,389
What about the doves?
1694
01:22:11,593 --> 01:22:13,220
There's an opening.
1695
01:22:13,637 --> 01:22:15,389
Just relax, honey.
1696
01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:17,771
You seem stressed.
1697
01:22:19,017 --> 01:22:21,645
Jerry, do you take Susan
to be your wife?
1698
01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:25,737
Do you promise to love, honor, cherish,
and protect her
1699
01:22:25,899 --> 01:22:30,029
forsaking all others,
holding only to her forever more?
1700
01:22:30,112 --> 01:22:31,329
I do.
1701
01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:33,286
I mean, this is actually
kind of beautiful.
1702
01:22:33,449 --> 01:22:35,292
It really is, man.
1703
01:22:35,367 --> 01:22:38,041
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
1704
01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:41,628
You may kiss the bride.
1705
01:22:41,748 --> 01:22:43,466
I love you.
1706
01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:30,298
- Hoagie!
- Go, go, go!
1707
01:23:30,464 --> 01:23:32,683
- God! Guys, go!
- Hoagie! You okay?
1708
01:23:32,841 --> 01:23:34,138
Jesus.
1709
01:23:34,718 --> 01:23:35,719
Hey, man.
1710
01:23:36,178 --> 01:23:37,179
Buddy?
1711
01:23:37,304 --> 01:23:39,102
- You scared away the swans.
- Hoagie?
1712
01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,725
- Hogan? Hogan.
- Hoagie!
1713
01:23:41,892 --> 01:23:44,236
I can't believe that you guys did this.
Right now.
1714
01:23:44,394 --> 01:23:47,568
Well, I don't think you get to claim
the moral high ground over us, actually.
1715
01:23:47,731 --> 01:23:48,823
Yeah, you're not better than us.
1716
01:23:48,982 --> 01:23:50,780
You and your wife pretended
to have a goddamn miscarriage.
1717
01:23:50,943 --> 01:23:52,695
Misunderstanding! Misunderstanding.
1718
01:23:52,861 --> 01:23:55,080
- Misunderstanding.
- In her vagina.
1719
01:23:55,489 --> 01:23:56,741
Wow. Boy.
1720
01:23:56,907 --> 01:23:58,284
Guys, call a doctor!
1721
01:23:58,450 --> 01:23:59,872
- Can you hear me?
- Buddy?
1722
01:24:00,244 --> 01:24:01,917
- Hey!
- Somebody get a doctor!
1723
01:24:02,079 --> 01:24:04,457
- Bud?
- He's gone full loss of consciousness.
1724
01:24:04,623 --> 01:24:06,000
That's impressive.
1725
01:24:06,166 --> 01:24:07,918
Even better
than your performance. Right?
1726
01:24:08,001 --> 01:24:09,753
I know! It's so good!
1727
01:24:09,920 --> 01:24:11,922
Excuse me, everyone...
1728
01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:13,632
Everything's fine.
1729
01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:15,559
This is all just a game.
1730
01:24:18,512 --> 01:24:20,480
He's still unconscious, but he's stable.
1731
01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:23,392
He really should never have been
this active given his condition.
1732
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,527
- You can see him when he wakes up.
- Thanks.
1733
01:24:27,104 --> 01:24:28,526
I got this.
1734
01:24:28,689 --> 01:24:31,317
Excuse me, Doctor. Hey, how are you?
1735
01:24:31,483 --> 01:24:34,532
- Yeah.
- Doctor...Doctor Yoon, is it?
1736
01:24:34,695 --> 01:24:36,072
- Yes.
- How do you spell that?
1737
01:24:36,989 --> 01:24:39,788
- You're looking right at it.
- I know, but I'm just asking you.
1738
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:41,581
What exactly are you asking me?
1739
01:24:41,952 --> 01:24:44,455
My friends and I do this thing.
It's this really weird game.
1740
01:24:44,913 --> 01:24:47,041
Is there any chance this is all fake,
that you could just tell me.
1741
01:24:47,207 --> 01:24:48,925
I won't tell the others.
1742
01:24:49,251 --> 01:24:50,343
Is this fake?
1743
01:24:50,586 --> 01:24:52,839
- This hospital?
- The whole thing, yeah. Is it fake?
1744
01:24:53,005 --> 01:24:54,302
That's the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.
1745
01:24:54,381 --> 01:24:56,054
He told you to say that, right?
1746
01:24:56,216 --> 01:24:58,844
- Look, I gotta prep a surgery.
- Will you just do me one quick favor?
1747
01:24:59,011 --> 01:25:01,105
Could you recite
the Hippocratic Oath for me?
1748
01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:02,890
That's not a thing doctors memorize.
1749
01:25:05,809 --> 01:25:07,402
Still unsure.
1750
01:25:08,061 --> 01:25:09,654
It's gonna be fine.
It's just, it was a lot.
1751
01:25:09,813 --> 01:25:11,235
I mean, how does that all happen
at a wedding?
1752
01:25:12,316 --> 01:25:13,317
Hey, boss.
1753
01:25:14,026 --> 01:25:15,027
How did that go?
1754
01:25:15,193 --> 01:25:16,490
I'm all turned around.
1755
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:17,654
About what?
1756
01:25:18,530 --> 01:25:20,077
If he's an actor or if he's not.
1757
01:25:20,240 --> 01:25:23,369
He's not. He's a doctor.
We're in a hospital.
1758
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:27,126
You're drinking the Kool-Aid.
1759
01:25:33,962 --> 01:25:36,215
All right. What do we do?
1760
01:25:36,381 --> 01:25:38,850
Look, Chilli, what's wrong with you?
Just go talk to the girl.
1761
01:25:39,009 --> 01:25:40,010
Could be a trap.
1762
01:25:40,093 --> 01:25:42,642
She's here for a friend
who is in the hospital. Okay?
1763
01:25:43,388 --> 01:25:44,890
You know I'm right. I'm always right.
1764
01:25:45,057 --> 01:25:47,901
Okay, you're right about this,
but you are not always right.
1765
01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:49,357
Buddy, I'm always right,
and you know it's true.
1766
01:25:49,436 --> 01:25:50,437
Bob, you're not always right.
1767
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:51,897
-100%...
-1989.
1768
01:25:52,272 --> 01:25:53,273
Come on.
1769
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:55,488
Ken Griffey Jr. enters the league,
and what do you say?
1770
01:25:55,776 --> 01:25:57,028
"He will never be
as good as his father."
1771
01:25:57,194 --> 01:25:58,411
And he's better than his father.
1772
01:25:58,570 --> 01:26:00,789
- Where are the rings?
- You are so wrong!
1773
01:26:00,947 --> 01:26:03,496
The historical record
has proven that I am right.
1774
01:26:03,659 --> 01:26:05,878
You know what? Time will tell.
1775
01:26:05,952 --> 01:26:08,751
You will never admit
that you are wrong about anything.
1776
01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:10,166
I'm not wrong.
1777
01:26:10,332 --> 01:26:12,255
Come on, it's been a while
since we've done this.
1778
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:13,464
Come here, man.
1779
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:15,838
This was a fun few days, man.
1780
01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:17,381
- I really missed you.
- I missed you too, man.
1781
01:26:18,256 --> 01:26:20,384
- You want a breath mint?
- No, I don't want a breath mint.
1782
01:26:20,550 --> 01:26:21,767
- Stop it.
- You want a breath mint?
1783
01:26:21,843 --> 01:26:24,813
I would love a breath mint.
I got a gross taste in my mouth.
1784
01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:33,064
Hey, mind if I sit?
1785
01:26:33,230 --> 01:26:34,231
No.
1786
01:26:36,858 --> 01:26:37,859
Thanks for coming.
1787
01:26:38,402 --> 01:26:40,951
- I hope he's okay.
- Yeah, me too.
1788
01:26:44,783 --> 01:26:46,000
Um...
1789
01:26:52,541 --> 01:26:55,886
I don't know if that...
We're in a hospital and...
1790
01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:57,421
- You know?
- Yes.
1791
01:26:57,587 --> 01:27:00,306
My friend is possibly dying.
1792
01:27:00,465 --> 01:27:04,311
But it feels like a time I need
to tell you how I feel about you,
1793
01:27:04,594 --> 01:27:07,313
and I am so pumped
that your husband's dead.
1794
01:27:07,723 --> 01:27:09,066
- No.
- No.
1795
01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:12,444
But I'm really happy to see you, Cheryl.
1796
01:27:14,187 --> 01:27:17,407
You are broke and divorced
1797
01:27:17,566 --> 01:27:19,944
-and just a fucking mess, really.
- Yeah.
1798
01:27:20,110 --> 01:27:21,362
But it's fun to see you, too.
1799
01:27:21,528 --> 01:27:23,576
Good. All right. I'll take that.
1800
01:27:23,739 --> 01:27:26,993
I actually think that...
1801
01:27:27,159 --> 01:27:30,083
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but I would see you again.
1802
01:27:30,996 --> 01:27:32,873
- For real?
- Yeah.
1803
01:27:33,039 --> 01:27:35,087
- Like a little date.
- No, definitely didn't say that.
1804
01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:37,298
- Like a dinner.
- Smaller than that.
1805
01:27:37,669 --> 01:27:39,592
- Like a lunch.
- How about a snack?
1806
01:27:40,756 --> 01:27:42,724
I'll take what I can get.
1807
01:27:43,008 --> 01:27:46,012
Hoagie, I know you're fucking with me.
1808
01:27:46,845 --> 01:27:52,602
I'm not. I've got a tumor on my liver
the size of my right nut.
1809
01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,397
Jesus.
1810
01:27:56,980 --> 01:27:57,981
Yeah.
1811
01:27:58,148 --> 01:28:00,867
I know you're fucking with him,
but what are you doing? What's the plan?
1812
01:28:01,026 --> 01:28:03,529
- Tell us what's going on.
- Chilli, there's no plan.
1813
01:28:03,695 --> 01:28:04,912
What's going on?
1814
01:28:05,071 --> 01:28:06,618
There's no plan, Chilli.
1815
01:28:06,990 --> 01:28:08,207
Stop winking at me.
1816
01:28:08,366 --> 01:28:10,084
Think it's real.
This looks like it's doing something.
1817
01:28:10,243 --> 01:28:12,792
Something real is happening
on this thing right here.
1818
01:28:12,871 --> 01:28:14,168
How long have you known this?
1819
01:28:14,331 --> 01:28:15,583
For three weeks.
1820
01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:17,092
Three weeks.
1821
01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:20,629
Right nut.
Too specific, I call bullshit.
1822
01:28:20,796 --> 01:28:22,298
That's a lie. Right? It's a lie.
1823
01:28:22,464 --> 01:28:23,465
I'm not lying.
1824
01:28:24,090 --> 01:28:26,934
Although I did lie about one thing.
1825
01:28:27,719 --> 01:28:29,721
Jerry's not quitting
at the end of the season.
1826
01:28:29,888 --> 01:28:31,435
JERRY". What? Why the fuck would I quit?
1827
01:28:31,598 --> 01:28:33,066
Yeah, I just... I said that
1828
01:28:33,225 --> 01:28:36,195
to get everyone together,
you know, for one last round.
1829
01:28:36,353 --> 01:28:39,197
Hoagie, tell me you are fucking joking
about this.
1830
01:28:39,356 --> 01:28:40,608
No.
1831
01:28:41,608 --> 01:28:47,832
There is a decent chance
I will not be around for next season.
1832
01:28:56,665 --> 01:28:57,666
Damn.
1833
01:29:00,085 --> 01:29:02,304
And, I mean, plus,
even if you were, you'd be,
1834
01:29:03,547 --> 01:29:05,675
you know. Really slow.
1835
01:29:05,757 --> 01:29:07,600
A total sitting duck.
1836
01:29:07,676 --> 01:29:10,475
Carrying like an IV bag around,
that's easy.
1837
01:29:10,554 --> 01:29:11,851
I had an uncle that went through chemo,
1838
01:29:11,930 --> 01:29:13,853
and afterwards,
he was terrible at games.
1839
01:29:14,266 --> 01:29:17,019
But I guess that makes sense.
It would be weird if he got better.
1840
01:29:18,186 --> 01:29:19,688
Then everybody would be getting chemo.
1841
01:29:22,607 --> 01:29:24,359
I love you guys.
1842
01:29:25,902 --> 01:29:28,496
I love... I love this game. You know?
1843
01:29:29,197 --> 01:29:32,792
I don't know what it is.
ltjust brings out the best in us.
1844
01:29:34,536 --> 01:29:35,958
Except today.
1845
01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:38,962
Today, I don't know.
1846
01:29:39,749 --> 01:29:44,220
I really fucked up your wedding, Jerry,
and I am super sorry.
1847
01:29:45,422 --> 01:29:46,423
Jerry?
1848
01:29:47,090 --> 01:29:49,843
.Has he hung up?
- Jerry?
1849
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:57,734
You didn't fuck up my wedding, Hoagie.
Come on.
1850
01:29:59,644 --> 01:30:01,362
- Right?
- No.
1851
01:30:01,438 --> 01:30:02,860
You might have
ruined a moment.
1852
01:30:03,940 --> 01:30:06,739
I screwed it up.
You should've been up there with me.
1853
01:30:06,902 --> 01:30:07,903
All you boys should've.
1854
01:30:08,945 --> 01:30:09,946
That's my fault.
1855
01:30:10,530 --> 01:30:14,160
I always thought that you guys were just
much closer to each other than to me...
1856
01:30:14,242 --> 01:30:15,243
What?
1857
01:30:15,619 --> 01:30:17,587
I mean, if it seems like we were closer,
1858
01:30:17,662 --> 01:30:20,256
it's only because
we're physically closer
1859
01:30:20,415 --> 01:30:21,667
because you always ran away.
1860
01:30:21,833 --> 01:30:23,335
Successfully. You know, I mean,
1861
01:30:23,501 --> 01:30:25,503
not for nothing, you might actually be
1862
01:30:25,587 --> 01:30:27,715
the very best person at this game
on the planet.
1863
01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:29,716
He might be, right?
1864
01:30:30,216 --> 01:30:32,093
Yeah, you're really good at tag.
1865
01:30:33,053 --> 01:30:35,852
Yes, but you've kind of missed
the point.
1866
01:30:36,014 --> 01:30:39,188
I mean, it's not about trying
to get away from each other.
1867
01:30:39,267 --> 01:30:44,273
It's actually about having a reason
to be around each other. You know?
1868
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:45,611
Yeah.
1869
01:30:45,982 --> 01:30:47,905
I mean, Ben Franklin said it best.
Am I right?
1870
01:30:48,068 --> 01:30:50,662
"We don't stop playing
'cause we grow old..."
1871
01:30:50,737 --> 01:30:52,284
"We grow old
because we stop playing."
1872
01:30:52,364 --> 01:30:55,288
I've been wanting to say for a few years
that quote is not Benjamin Franklin.
1873
01:30:55,367 --> 01:30:57,369
That is German anthropologist,
Karl Groos.
1874
01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:59,454
- La, la, la, la, la...
- Why are you ruining the moment?
1875
01:30:59,621 --> 01:31:00,713
- I just don't even want to know.
- He's in the hospital.
1876
01:31:00,789 --> 01:31:02,757
- It felt like the right moment.
- It's not the right moment, so...
1877
01:31:02,832 --> 01:31:03,879
- It is the right moment.
- It isn't.
1878
01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:05,089
So, Jerry...
1879
01:31:09,005 --> 01:31:10,302
It's 11155.
1880
01:31:10,465 --> 01:31:13,093
Get in here, and let me tag you.
1881
01:31:17,514 --> 01:31:19,357
You know, I've been so attached,
I suppose,
1882
01:31:19,432 --> 01:31:21,105
to my perfect record all these years,
1883
01:31:21,184 --> 01:31:22,982
dominating you fools.
1884
01:31:23,144 --> 01:31:25,943
Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't.
1885
01:31:26,106 --> 01:31:29,076
If you think about it,
Jerry is a tag virgin.
1886
01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:30,448
Or champion.
1887
01:31:30,527 --> 01:31:32,575
Just let us deflower you.
1888
01:31:32,737 --> 01:31:34,080
We'll be gentle.
1889
01:31:34,572 --> 01:31:36,165
I can't.
1890
01:31:38,034 --> 01:31:39,035
Come on.
1891
01:31:40,704 --> 01:31:41,705
I can't do it.
1892
01:31:41,788 --> 01:31:45,634
Then I'm not gonna tag anybody,
and the game ends with me.
1893
01:31:45,709 --> 01:31:47,006
That's dark.
1894
01:31:47,085 --> 01:31:49,463
Or you just let me tag you.
1895
01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:53,513
All right, fuck it.
1896
01:32:00,015 --> 01:32:01,016
- God!
1897
01:32:01,099 --> 01:32:02,316
Loser! Loser!
1898
01:32:02,392 --> 01:32:03,689
You suck!
1899
01:32:04,644 --> 01:32:05,645
Awesome.
1900
01:32:07,105 --> 01:32:09,733
- Yes!
- You officially suck.
1901
01:32:09,816 --> 01:32:10,908
You're so it!
1902
01:32:11,067 --> 01:32:13,240
Goddamn! All right!
1903
01:32:15,488 --> 01:32:16,740
I love you guys.
1904
01:32:17,741 --> 01:32:18,958
Love you too, man.
1905
01:32:22,996 --> 01:32:26,626
You know we got five minutes
left of May.
1906
01:32:27,292 --> 01:32:29,386
I ain't gonna be last it. Bitches!
1907
01:32:48,646 --> 01:32:49,989
Look, Bob!
Where are you gonna go, Bob?
1908
01:32:50,148 --> 01:32:51,149
No!
1909
01:32:57,072 --> 01:32:59,575
Verbal amendment?
That women should be playing.
1910
01:33:01,034 --> 01:33:03,207
- Amendment.
- Yeah, amendment.
1911
01:33:05,538 --> 01:33:07,540
You just made a big mistake.
1912
01:33:09,292 --> 01:33:11,920
- You're it, bitch!
- You're it now!
1913
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:13,304
- You're going down!
- You're too intense!
1914
01:33:13,463 --> 01:33:15,340
You're gonna suck my tiny ginger balls.
1915
01:33:15,507 --> 01:33:16,850
ON. Gross!
1916
01:33:17,008 --> 01:33:19,386
You're gross!
1917
01:33:29,020 --> 01:33:30,488
Come on! Shit! No.
1918
01:33:36,152 --> 01:33:37,825
- You're it.
- No, I can't get involved in the story.
1919
01:33:37,904 --> 01:33:38,996
We made an amendment!
1920
01:33:39,072 --> 01:33:41,951
Come on, it's a little bit fun, right?
You have about three minutes.
1921
01:33:55,588 --> 01:33:58,717
Sable! Come on.
Where are your ethics, buddy?
1922
01:33:59,884 --> 01:34:01,682
Come on. Just reach out.
1923
01:34:01,845 --> 01:34:02,846
- No!
- You got it.
1924
01:34:04,347 --> 01:34:05,348
Shit, hang on a second.
1925
01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:06,732
You Okay?
1926
01:34:06,891 --> 01:34:08,484
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1927
01:34:10,478 --> 01:34:11,604
You're it!
1928
01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:50,734
Tag, brother!
1929
01:34:52,937 --> 01:34:54,985
You're it!
1930
01:34:55,148 --> 01:34:56,946
- I'm it?
- You're it?
1931
01:34:57,859 --> 01:34:59,156
Now you're it.
1932
01:34:59,319 --> 01:35:01,697
You got me. No way!
1933
01:35:04,115 --> 01:35:06,618
- Not bad? Pretty hot?
- Wow.
1934
01:35:17,086 --> 01:35:19,134
You're it!
1935
01:35:21,966 --> 01:35:23,263
Yeah, baby.
1936
01:35:25,094 --> 01:35:27,643
Hey, fucker. You're it!
1937
01:35:29,641 --> 01:35:31,393
You're it! Yeah!
1938
01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:34,066
You're it, baby!
1939
01:37:31,763 --> 01:37:36,860
Once, there was a kid who
1940
01:37:37,018 --> 01:37:41,524
Got into an accident
and couldn't come to school
1941
01:37:41,689 --> 01:37:47,446
But when he finally came back
1942
01:37:47,612 --> 01:37:54,336
His hair turned
from black into bright white
1943
01:37:56,537 --> 01:37:59,962
He said that it was from when the cars
1944
01:38:00,124 --> 01:38:05,346
Had smashed him so hard
1945
01:38:16,849 --> 01:38:21,730
Once, there was this girl who
1946
01:38:21,896 --> 01:38:26,948
Wouldn't go and change
with the girls in the change room
1947
01:38:27,110 --> 01:38:32,367
- But when they finally made her
1948
01:38:32,532 --> 01:38:38,915
They saw red marks all over her body
1949
01:38:41,332 --> 01:38:44,256
She couldn't quite explain it
1950
01:38:44,419 --> 01:38:50,597
They'd always just been there
1951
01:38:50,967 --> 01:38:53,686
Baa, baa, baa, baa
1952
01:38:53,761 --> 01:38:56,560
Baa, baa, baa, baa
1953
01:38:56,681 --> 01:38:59,651
Ooh
1954
01:38:59,725 --> 01:39:01,352
Yeah
1955
01:39:01,769 --> 01:39:06,570
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
1956
01:39:12,655 --> 01:39:17,252
Both the girl and the boy were glad
1957
01:39:17,994 --> 01:39:23,376
'Cause one kid had it worse than that
1958
01:39:41,017 --> 01:39:45,193
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey
1959
01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:54,160
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
1960
01:39:54,322 --> 01:39:59,203
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
1961
01:40:02,997 --> 01:40:04,169
- You're it.
- Fucker!
1962
01:40:21,849 --> 01:40:22,850
English - SDH
148005
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