All language subtitles for el.favor.2004.dvdrip.xvid-hls

THE FAVOR

Mora! Morita!

- Mora!
- What?

It's today.
Today's the day.

- We'll do it.
- Yes.

Is everything ready?

- We need the cocktail.
- Now?

He's about to get here.

- What time is it?
- Late.

It's this one. Don't forget.
What are you doing?

- Are you nervous?
- No, you are.

No, I'm not.
Besides, it can't fail.

- Depends on us.
- On him too.

One... two

How much?

Enough.

Ready.

Could you get undressed?

There he is.

"Not recommended for
those with heart condition."

Take it easy. Two drops.

- Put one more in.
- One more, and that's it.

Throw him the keys.

There go the keys.

Was it him?

No. Supermarket.

How can you throw the keys
to someone you don't know?

I don't know your
brother either. - True.

- Is he cute?
- Who?

Who? Your brother.

Wait. Look at you.
I'll go.

Can you make it?
I live high up. This way.

There's the kitchen.

What do you think?

Nice, huh?
You like it?

You can't wear that, Roberta.
Go change.

- Why not?
- Go change!

It's too much?

She looked good to me.

You... Here. Bye.

Hurry. He'll be here
any minute.

Something more discreet.
He's not supposed to notice.

How about this one?

It looks like a costume.

- Mora, can you help me?
- What is it?

I'm in a crisis.

- You like my hair like this?
- No, put it up.

I'll do it.

- It's him.
- It's him!

Felipe!

It's me!

It's Felipe. Hey!

- Is it Felipe?
- Yes.

Get dressed fast.

It's Felipe.

- Mora!
- What?

The most important
thing's missing.

- What?
- What do I wear?

Cover yourself up with
something. I don't know.

There they go.

Thanks.

All the way up.

- You're nervous.
- Me?

You can tell.
It's obvious.

Wait for my signal, OK?
Don't hurry.

I know him.
Don't hurry.

Hi!

How are you?

- You put on some weight.
- Your nose grew.

- Noses never stop growing.
- You stink.

- I brought you a trout.
- How disgusting. It's rotten.

- No, it's fresh. I fished it.
- When?

A couple of years ago.
Yesterday.

Come in, Felipe.
Make your self at home.

You've been living
here for a while now.

Yes, and you never visit me.

- I have a lot to tell you.
- So do I.

Get ready.

You like it?

You don't.

You're going to kill him.

- Felipe, this is Roberta.
- What's up?

- Nothing.
- I mean, hi.

Your keys.

Nice house. It's like
living in a playground.

You want me to attack
your friend? - Yes.

- No.
- Are you crazy?

Don't you know my
girlfriend's coming?

Your girlfriend?

Where'd you find that hottie?

Where did I find what?

Nothing.

Where did you two meet?

- Posing.
- You're an actress too?

No, she's an artist.
I pose for her.

Is that you?

No, it's a self portrait.
I'll be right back.

- How was your trip?
- Freaky.

Flying scares me.
Nice paintings.

Do you have fun when
you're in the city? - No.

I like the country.
I'm wild.

Wild. Wild men drive
me crazy.

- Are you sleeping over?
- I have no idea.

- Are you tired?
- No, I'm fine.

Stay over.

I haven't seen my girlfriend
in 2 months...

and since I'll only be here
one night... Otherwise I'd stay.

- We have to hurry.
- First let me talk to him.

There's no time.
Is girlfriend's coming.

Don't you dare.

When's your girlfriend coming?

As soon as she leaves
her post.

- Is she in the service?
- Yes, she's a captain.

- Of course she's not.
- Didn't you have a park ranger?

So what? This one's
an obstetrician.

- Did you see what she did?
- Who?

Your friend. She hit on me.

- Because you're so cute.
- Honest.

She lives near by.

- The girl I had 3 years ago.
- The one with the freckles.

We broke up right away.
She liked cold weather.

Where does your current
girlfriend live?

Nearby too.
Her name's Faustina.

Can you believe this guy
went out with a girl 10 years,

and as soon as they got
married, they got divorced.

9 months later.

After that you had
a bunch of girlfriends.

- All with freckles.
- Freckles turn me on.

Are you going out
with someone?

Your sister told me you
do artificial inseminations.

Yes, with turkeys.
Get me a screwdriver.

We have a great cocktail.
A normal screwdriver.

I don't have one.

A blunt knife then.

Insemination. That must
be exciting.

Not really. You have to hold
the turkey legs up.

Then you blow the semen
into her.

Exciting.

Then the turkeys go faster
and you...

It's fascinating to be in
contact with nature like that.

We're in warehouses,
actually.

Roberta!

See? Is she drunk?
What's the matter with her?

Open up.

I told you to take it easy.
You're nervous. - You are.

Darn.

- Don't force yourself on him.
- OK.

- Is there a problem?
- Not at all. Want a drink?

We made a cocktail.

What's in it?

Vodka, grapefruit, ice.

It's just a cocktail, Felipe.
Here.

- I don't want it.
- I made it.

I drank too much
on the plane.

Afterwards?

- No, on the way over.
- You can drink it afterwards.

No, get me an orange juice.

This is fixed.

- There's no orange juice here.
- I'll put all of the juice in it.

Aren't you tired of
living in the north?

- I live in the south.
- It's the same thing.

Yeah, right.
Like in the center.

The people in the center are
all the same, like cemeteries.

I want to move there.

I want to have my own breeding
ground, not work for others.

- But I need a partner.
- You do?

I almost got one.
We're meeting later.

- Where?
- Here.

- When?
- Now.

Is this an office?

I have to take
advantage of it.

He must be some wise ass.

Who's got money?
The assholes.

No wonder you're
all dressed up.

Do I look bad?
I've got a tie.

Are you asking for
money or charity?

- It doesn't match?
- No.

Having a partner is like
having a husband.

I invented an electro-ejaculator
for turkeys.

An electro-what?

The word is self explanatory.

You put it up their ass and...

Felipe!

If you need a boyfriend,
I'll lend it to you.

What a great invention.

You know what really bugs me?

That I'm working for people who
don't know a thing of breeding.

Of course. Who wants to go
to the desert? Come here.

- What do you do?
- I inseminate.

- Once Faustina came.
- Did you inseminate her?

Don't you dare say that.

Tell me the truth.
What do you really do?

What? Justice.

- Sheep?
- In winter.

And you don't do anything
in summer?

What was that play you
worked in called?

- Don't start...
- The Stud.

That's right!

It was an elegant
erotic play.

- Right, you're an artist.
- I am.

Are you doing anything
in the theater now? - No.

Before all your friends
come over, I wanted to say...

Here's your orange juice.

The color. Is it orange juice
or meatball juice?

It's orange juice but
I can get you another one.

Is she a call girl? You give
her a percentage of what I have?

Don't pay attention to her.

Right, but I've been in the
desert for almost a year.

Listen, I have something
important to tell you.

You want me to pay
for the trout?

- You broke my couch!
- It was already broken.

Stop it, you're breaking
it even more. Listen...

Get me the pepper, Mauricia.
I want to try this.

Don't call me Mauricia.
It's horrible.

What do they call you?

Mora.

Mora?

- Is that your artistic name?
- Yeah, so what?

Listen, people change and
one day you discover...

you're not what you thought.

- Get me some wine.
- Don't you want the cocktail?

- No, wine. White wine.
- People do change.

I work in a museum now.

You're always on exhibition.

I send souvenirs at
the coffee shop.

I'll be right back.
We're out of juice.

Don't worry. I'm having wine.

You guys go ahead and talk.

I suppose you have a lot
to catch up on.

- What's with her?
- With who?

- Her. What's with her?
- Nothing.

What is she? A whore?

How can you say that?

She's driving me crazy.
She's hitting on me.

- You like her.
- She's great.

But I can't, Faustina's coming.

Here, this is fixed.
Try it.

I'd like to get to know her.

She's sweet, nice...

I'd really like to get
to know her.

I'd go over every inch
of her body.

She's...

I understand her.
They see me...

a man from the country,
and they go crazy.

I don't know.

Is she always like that?

Or does the turkey smell
drive her crazy?

She's nervous.

About what? Is it obvious I
haven't done it in 2 months?

You did have juice.

How's the grinder?
You broke it again?

Come over here.
I have to talk to you.

- Come here, sit down.
- This doesn't work.

- It's just the remote control.
- What's wrong with it?

Come here.

You need a man fast.

So he can fix things
like you do. Come here.

- The video doesn't work either.
- Don't touch. It still works.

You probably have
a porno film on.

It is! I can't believe it.

I rented it for you
because...

I've seen them all
in the south.

- They're all the same.
- No, they're not.

This one reminds me of
the play you did.

- What an asshole!
- Celery?

All this that happened
to me was a surprise.

I didn't think it would.

That woman's getting
a big surprise.

Remember I was saying
that people change?

I changed a lot.
Well... that's it.

Wow. You won't be able
to sit down for a week.

I'm talking about her.

Can you listen to me?

This is so embarrassing.
I know you'll understand me.

No... I thought I'd seen it,
but I didn't.

I woke up one morning and
I had her sleeping next to me.

I couldn't go away.

We've been living together
since that day.

What?

Roberta and me...

You share the apartment.
Is that it?

No...

Everything?

That's OK.

Listen, there's no law
against it.

Really. I can't judge
anyone, Mauricia.

I can't judge you,
I'm your brother.

If you're happy, I'm happy.

I really mean it.

I understand you.

I knew you would.

Is there more upstairs?

Hey... there's only one bed.

Where is that bitch?
I'm going to kill her.

- She's a bitch!
- What happened?

She left.

Didn't you see she was
hitting on me in front of you?

I'd be jealous if I were you.

Just the opposite.

Were you always like this?

How?

Like this.

How?

I'll tell you how.

Gay.

No, Felipe, it's the first time.
I fell in love.

You did?

And are you getting married?

When I saw her, my heart
would beat fast.

That could be high
blood pressure.

I resisted, but she listened
to me, and I was seduced.

What did she see in you?

Something no one saw in me.
Look what she gave me.

Is this your engagement
ring? - Yes.

- She really loves you.
- It's love.

That's not love,
you're confused.

I can't believe what
we're talking about.

I've always wondered.
Are you the man?

There aren't any men.
We're two women.

I know. That's why
nothing works here.

And how do you do it?

Do what?

I don't want to know.
I don't want any details.

What will Faustina say?
She's Catholic.

Everybody doesn't have to know.

See? Who knows?

- Mom? Dad? Matias?
- Mom.

Dad'll be pleased. He won't
have to pay for a wedding.

You're so funny. Who tells
you jokes, the turkeys?

Who is it?

Faustina.

- Who?
- Faustina.

Shit.

Faustina, that's great.
I'll throw you the keys.

Don't throw them.
She's won't catch them.

She's useless with
her hands.

Worse even if it's
something difficult...

like closing doors
and catching keys.

Here they go.

Sorry, what a pity.
Don't worry.

She dropped them
in the gutter.

She probably drops
newborns too.

Don't say anything.

- My love.
- Hi, Felipe.

Hi, honey.
I'll be right down.

I missed you.

So did I.

- Have you been together long?
- What?

- Have you been together long?
- Sort of.

- You get along?
- Yeah.

We hardly see each other.

No wonder you get along.

When you act like
an actress,

you always have to have
the last word.

- Where did you meet?
- In a chat room.

- Chatting.
- So now you chat.

- You know what my name was?
- What?

Wild One.

- And hers?
- Heidi.

- Is she a real girlfriend?
- Yes.

She wants to get married,
have kids.

I'm kind of scared.

- Why?
- I don't know.

She's religious.

Really? She doesn't have sex?

Come on, tell me.

We only did it once.

Once?

Is that too little?

I don't know why
I'm telling you this.

Coming, my love.

- Let's go open.
- Just a minute.

You really live together?

- Again?
- I'll fix this.

Leave that.

- It goes up or down.
- Come here.

I don't want to.
Does she really live here?

- I told you.
- I can't believe it.

- Ask me if I have a screwdriver.
- You have a screwdriver?

Why doesn't this work?
Nothing works here?

If I could reach this.

Shit.

- Get me a stool.
- No.

- Your house is falling apart.
- Here's a stool.

You know what I
can't believe?

I'm blind.

I can't believe you
changed so much.

It's as if you said you
became a vegetarian.

I am.

Why are you eating salami?

I don't know,
it's abstract.

Well she isn't abstract,
she's carnivorous.

Will you listen to me?

Get me a light bulb.

I don't have a light bulb
or a screwdriver.

I'll get one.

You're going to get electrocuted.

Leave things the way
they are.

I'm going to go deaf with
this music.

Did you get it at a madhouse?

Coming!

Coming.

Coming!

What did I drive
all those guys away?

See? It was your fault.

I thought you were going
out with your friends.

Don't touch me.

Can we talk like two adults?

You're like the Coyote.
Everything goes wrong.

You told her not to ring
the doorbell, and she does it.

Maybe it's Roberta.

No, it's not.

Be a little patient.

Don't worry, it's nothing.
I'll fix this in no time.

Cut the power and
give me a flashlight.

Felipe, being the girl
I am,

you think I know
where you cut the power?

Leave that and stop
bugging me! Come here.

- What a temper.
- Come here.

- Sit down.
- Masculine, I'd say.

I want to ask you
for something.

- With Roberta...
- What does her mother say?

When I told her
we cried together.

You did?

Since Mom went through
the same experience.

What? What?

- Oh, you don't know.
- Come here.

What experience?

Remember when Mom
and Dad got separated?

Come here.
You're not going to tell me?

A girlfriend used
to visit her. A big girl.

- The one we called Tyson.
- That one.

- What?
- Mom and Tyson...

Mom?

My mother?

- You're crazy.
- You know how I found out?

I don't want any details.
You want me to cut my balls?

No, not your balls.

What's the matter?

Touch my heart!

Hold me please!

They tried to rob me
and I got so scared!

There's a woman on the
ground downstairs!

She could be dead!

Faustina! Faustina!

Don't touch each other!

My love, are you OK?

Don't touch each other!
Don't touch each other!

My love, are you OK?

I think my blood
pressure dropped.

I rang the bell because
I wasn't feeling well.

- But I'm not upset with you.
- People are annoying.

- Am I annoying?
- No.

- What's this?
- Mauricia.

What's wrong?

You came into the house
of the 10 capital sins.

- Aren't they 7?
- Well they're 10 here.

- You scared me.
- I'm OK. How are you?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Do it to me.
- No, not here.

Come on.

1, 2, 3, 4, testing.
How's my Wild One?

How's Heidi?

- Sorry.
- Just like always.

How cute.

Don't feel forced to stay.
You might be better at home.

- This is my sister's home.
- And mine.

- Did I do something wrong?
- No.

But you might feel
better in your house.

This is my night.

That's great.
It's mine too.

And mine.

Let me explain.

I'm waiting for a guy to make
the deal of a lifetime...

and I don't plan
on leaving.

But she could.
Look at her, poor thing.

Really, honey. Go home
and take a nice hot bath.

Let me say this:

If someone touches you,
tell me.

Let's calm down.
I'm Mora.

- Mora?
. Mauricia. She changed her name.

Your sister!

- He told me so much about you.
- Forget everything I said.

- You want to embarrass me.
- Embarrass you?

Why doesn't she leave?

Go to the kitchen and
wait for me to choke you!

She's Roberta and
she's a little nervous.

She'll be more nervous
when I kill her.

And turn that music off!

- What's going on?
- Nothing.

We were talking about news
with your sister-in-law...

and your sister-in-law's
girlfriend.

- Oh, Matias' girlfriend.
- No, that's the news.

I don't get it.

You're going to find out
sooner or later.

- I have to tell you something...
- You're going to faint.

What's going on, Felipe?

- You know what?
- What?

There's nothing to hide.
It's not wrong.

Those two...
just as they are.

No, Felipe.
You're dreaming.

You're getting strange thoughts.

Why don't we leave?

I have to...

There's this guy...

Felipe can't leave.
Mora needs to talk to him.

I know, Dad's a transvestite.

Let's eat something first
and then we can talk.

There's no time.
Talk now.

We should talk alone.

Go on, what is it?

Roberta and I want
to have a child.

Well, we're leaving now.

No, stay. I'll go to
the kitchen to see...

Excuse me.

Great.

Pretend you didn't say anything.

Keep the trout and
get me my bag.

- Try to understand.
- I can't.

I inseminate turkeys because
I don't get women.

- You want me to inseminate her?
- Something like that.

Are you crazy?
What's wrong with you?

I can't believe it.
What happened to you?

- We need your help.
- I don't want to hear it.

Let's go, Faustina.

Let's go.

- I feel sick.
- So do I.

I feel like throwing up.

And I'm going to throw
my sister off the balcony.

I feel sick.
I'm going to throw up.

What is it?

I'm going to be sick.

Take her to the bathroom.

I don't want to bother you.

Don't touch her.

Hold it in,
we're almost there.

We're there, we're there.

Don't touch her.
Here's the bathroom.

- Not there, it's broken.
- Can't she throw up there?

Throw up on the floor.
You need a special place?

Don't worry.
What a shitty house!

How disgusting. She's going
to throw up in the bathroom.

- We have to open some more.
- Yeah.

Mora, we have to get rid
of Faustina.

- She's pregnant.
- Obviously.

Perfect. Felipe works.

You take her away
and I'll stay with him.

How am I going
to take her away?

Excuse me.

- Who are you?
- Excuse me.

Don't be afraid.
Felipe told me to come here.

We have a meeting.

- Hello. I'm Felipe's sister.
- Nice to meet you.

- I'm his sister's friend.
- Nice to meet you.

How did you get in?

I thought you left the door
open for me.

- It's open?
- But I closed it.

- You're Felipe's partner?
- Not yet.

We're working on it.
We're almost there.

He's the best inseminator
in the country.

You can't imagine how well
your brother inseminates.

Take a seat.
I'll tell Felipe you're here.

If there's a problem,
I can come back later.

No, Felipe was expecting you.
Seat down.

- What delicious things.
- Serve yourself.

No, the doctor prohibited
everything.

I'm getting nervous too.

But I'll try one.

What's he doing here?

It's important for Felipe.
I'll explain later.

Tell him to go.

Excuse me.

I live alone and I
don't like to cook.

Get rid of him.

Sensational!

Delicious!

Shit.

Better yet, I'll tell
Felipe you were here.

I was told they're
an aphrodisiac.

- Exactly...
- Delicious.

He's eating all the oysters.

- Fantastic. Did you prepare them?
- No.

- Your friend?
- My girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

Take it easy.

It's been so long since
I ate this well.

- Ever since my wife left.
- With someone else?

- No, she died.
- Too bad.

I loved her so much,
but that was 20 years ago.

She gave me 9 children.

Excuse me.

- With him?
- Yes.

- We said not just anyone.
- I don't care anymore.

We'll have a fat, bald child.

Like all babies.

- Congratulations.
- You liked them.

A poem.

Apolo's your name, right?
You're such a gentleman.

That's good too, isn't it?

Have some more.

That's it.

All of it.

Do whatever you want
with me, Apolo. - Me?

You don't understand...

It's been over 20 years...
I'm a widower.

Sweetie, you're all hot inside.

You can give a lot of love.

I love older men.
You're so hot, Apolo.

You're like a god.

What did you do?

No.

Don't you dare!

We have to take advantage.

You can't fuck a dead guy!

- He's dead?
- Yes.

No, he's alive.

- Hey! Can you help me?
- Coming.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Can't you wait a second?

Get out of there.

I'm sorry. I just
saw him there.

To the hospital!

- Let's hide him.
- We can't.

Just hide him.

- Where?
- In the kitchen.

1, 2, 3...

They'll find him here.

We went all around.

- In the sideboard.
- The sideboard?

- This is making me nervous.
- Why?

- You are nervous. - No

We have to turn him around.

Ready? 1, 2, 3.

You added more drops
to the drink.

Me? You wanted him
to eat the oysters.

Mauricia! Roberta!

I need clean clothes.
She's all dirty.

Coming!

- She's like Roberta, isn't she?
- What do you mean?

Her size.

- What did you eat at the ER?
- You're making me feel worse.

We're leaving as soon
as you feel better.

- Wait a little longer.
- I want to leave now!

Here are your things.

- You want some water?
- Yes, please.

- You're not leaving.
- I'm leaving.

- Wait, Felipe.
- Get your stuff.

Here's your water.

We're having a baby,
so you're not leaving.

I'm leaving now.

You're staying.
You want to know why?

Watch this.

Having a baby will
do you good.

Drink it on your way out.

Come on.

Let's go.

You can drink
the water outside.

- You're going to help us. See?
- Give me those keys.

No.

- Give me those keys!
- No.

Give me the keys.

Damn you!

Shit!

- You locked the door, right?
- Yes.

Give me the keys, Mauricia.

- Given them to me.
- I threw them away.

- Give me another one.
- She lost them in the gutter.

Sorry.

We're hostages.

Great, we're hostages.
Why don't you tie us up?

You want to blindfold us?

Two crazy women that want
a baby are keeping us hostages!

You want me to call the BBC?
The Discovery Channel!

- Where's the helicopter?
- Shut up.

That's it.

Tie us up.

- You want something?
- Water.

Water! Tie us up.
I'll get the rope.

Have some more.
It's OK.

- Can't you see she's...
- It's good.

Felipe, try to understand.

- Want some bread?
- It's delicious.

Even though people are different,
we need the same things.

It's true.

You're drilling my head in.
Shut up.

- What's that?
- Oysters.

- They're delicious.
- Can I have some?

Here.

Do you like them?

- They're great.
- I'll get you some more.

- Great.
- Fantastic.

If we're hostages,
we might as well eat.

This is celery.

- Want some?
- No, you eat it.

The oysters are great.
It's working.

Isn't it normal for a couple
to have a baby?

It's normal for
a normal couple.

Think about me.
Want some wine?

- You want a kid?
- Yes.

Then go find a
pregnant woman.

She doesn't want just anyone,
she loves Roberta.

- At last. Thanks, Faustina.
- You're welcome.

Why don't you listen
to your girlfriend?

She's talking about something
you don't understand.

What you don't know...

is that they want an
artificial insemination.

No, I think she meant
a natural insemination.

I'm the only idiot who
didn't notice. - Yes.

Why do you think I
wanted you so bad?

This is great!
Very good.

Great.

Felipe...

But they love each other.

I can't believe I'm such
an asshole. How exciting.

Exciting, you idiot!

- I...
- What?

Nothing.

- Want something else?
- Something good.

You have a craving.
What do you want?

- Chocolate.
- We have some.

We can't live without chocolate.

- White or dark?
- Here. Chips.

Do you have a craving
because you're pregnant?

You're pregnant!

- Felipe doesn't know yet.
- Congratulations!

I knew it!

I don't know how he'll take it.

What am I? The bionic man?
I'm a jackass.

I don't want to have kids!
I'm not interested.

The three of you are mad!
So are you, Faustina!

I'm no jackass.

I just want to live in peace.
That's why I went south.

Felipe...

Stop bugging me.
This is like incest.

- I don't want any problems.
- You won't.

We'll have him, raise him,
educate him. Everything.

And you don't have to make
a gift for Father's Day.

But there's two on Mother's Day.

You're brothers. You have
the same DNA. It's perfect.

What?

You want a kid?
Let's go have kids anywhere.

Felipe, you know what
a sterile relationship is?

No, I don't. I only do
artificial inseminations.

You know what we do with
sterile turkeys? - No.

It's thrilling.

If Faustina couldn't have kids,
what would you do?

If you want a kid,
adopt one.

Who's going to give us a child?

No one, really.

I...

I could be the godfather.

If my brother doesn't help,
who will? - Come on.

You could hire an
anonymous donor.

- He could be a serial killer.
- And it costs a fortune.

A fortune!

But in this case,
it's... And that's it.

It's not that fast.
Plus he's not a stranger.

You convince him, Faustina.

You're crazy. Crazy.
And I'm...

If I ever get out of here,
I'll lock you up.

You're not leaving until
you get me pregnant.

Even if you lock me up,
you can do whatever you want,

but if I don't want to,
I won't.

If you don't want to...
Like the turkeys.

Where did you find
this mad person?

No wonder you fell
in love. Crazy!

You're crazy!

Today's the day.

I'm ovulating.
I can feel it.

What does that prove?

You don't know a thing
about women.

Not all women are the same.
But some are.

- Look at my temperature.
- No, thanks.

Mora, men are all alike.

The stars say that...

Very scientific. Why don't
you go to Lourdes?

What's wrong with that?
I went to Lourdes.

My baby went to Lourdes.

How do you know
I can have children?

What am I? A sniper?
Bull's eye very time?

I need a glass.
That's why it fell.

You think I'm irresistible?
You're not my type of woman.

All men are boys.
Boys.

I'd like to say something.

I'd like to say something.

With just one ejaculation...

One's enough.
You're so selfish.

The atmosphere's dry.

Yes, one's enough.

- I'd like to say something.
- What?

I know, you fell in love
with Roberta. Is that it?

One time is enough.

That's it.

No...

You're really pregnant?

Yes. I'm so hungry.

What news!

It's impossible.

How can this be?

What is this?
"The Passion" by St. Felipe?

How many stations of the cross
do I have to go through?

Lady!

Come on up!
I'm the Latin stud.

Tell your husband to come.
And to the dog as well.

Felipe, stop making noise
and see to your girlfriend.

It's like living in Bagdad.

The only thing I need now
is Calligari here.

I don't think Calligari
will come.

- I'm not ready.
- Sit down.

- I live far away.
- I could go with you.

- How far along are you?
- 8 weeks.

I know exactly because
I saw it once. - Once?

I found out last night.
I did the test.

Last night? And now
you tell me?

That's why I came.
To tell you personally.

Where will you have it?
Here or in the south?

Don't ask me anything.
I'm only the father.

OK?

Where will you both
be having it?

I just found out.

- Just one time.
- Yeah, once.

How do I know it's
not someone else's?

You're an animal.

I went to visit him.
I didn't do it on purpose!

Let him miss out on it.

No, it's not what I wanted.
I can't force Felipe.

I have an idea.
Open up.

No.

I have to talk like this?

I just got an idea
that solves everything.

- You want my baby?
- Yes.

Keep the baby.

You're a beast!

Only once.
Just one time.

Mauricia.

Mauri!

Mora...

- Morita.
- Don't talk to me.

Listen.

I'm sorry, I know
that was uncalled for.

Why don't you look
for someone else?

- You have a brother.
- One.

- Tell him to do it.
- He's 11.

- Kids today are fast.
- Don't be an idiot.

- Don't cry.
- . Don't touch me.

- What about the girls?
- I don't know.

I don't want to feel
like an inseminator.

Just come once,
like a summer storm.

You get her wet,
and then you go.

- Don't be a fag.
- Look who's talking.

Can you excuse us?
We have to talk.

I don't know what to say.

- When did we meet?
- The 5th.

If it's not born on May 5th,
it's someone else's.

- You can't be so exact.
- Yes, you can.

You're saying I did it
with someone else?

We met chatting, right?

How do I know he's not
Lagarto 24's?

Lagarto 24's 86 years old
and lives on a canoe.

Wait. Our problem is
that we don't have space.

We don't have time.

Let me get used to this.
I need time.

OK.

Well?

Well?

- Are you really pregnant?
- No.

No?

Then I got my hopes up
for nothing. - Yes.

- Not so fast.
- Well? Well?

It's OK to begin with.
But we still have to see.

- He's be wild, like me.
- Wild ones drive me crazy.

What if he says yes?

You really want to come
down south?

Yes. We can set up a breeding
ground with my savings.

Weren't you going to see
the Pope?

I changed my mind.

Let's not talk about us.
Think about your sister.

- They love each other.
- You're Catholic.

I'm Catholic,
not a monster.

God will punish you.

You know what you're
asking me to do?

Yes, to help them.
To do them a favor.

- A favor to Roberta.
- Don't be rude.

It's hard enough for me.
Think about it scientifically.

Did you see Roberta?
How can it be scientific?

Then do it coldly.
Cold.

I'll go to the freezer
and think about it.

And you won't have a jealousy
attack afterwards, will you?

- Just a little.
- And you'll want to get married.

Call the girls.
They must be nervous.

- You didn't listen to what I said.
- What?

Don't play the fool.

I won't pressure you
to marry me.

- I don't want to get married.
- Call the girls.

I don't know if
I want to get married.

Come on.

- I'd rather be with you.
- First, your duty.

- Girls!
- It wasn't bad that time.

Come on!

Well?

- He accepts.
- We accept.

I feel like a turkey champ.

Hey, this wasn't the deal.

What football team will you
make him a fan of?

- Quite making excuses.
- Really, I need to know something.

It's important to me.

Was that thing about
mom a joke?

Whenever you say.
I'll be waiting upstairs.

You can start without me.

- Is she a virgin?
- Yes.

Of course not?

What did you say?

That I love you.

I hope you don't like it.

Get up.

Don't worry,
I don't like women.

- Go on, Felipe.
- I'm going.

Good luck.

I'm going to make
the Wild One a cousin.

What if I fall in love?

- I'll kill you.
- I'll kill her.

I have to kill her first.

I want something.

Felipe...

What do I want?
Wine?

Didn't Calligari come?

Come on, Felipe.

I can smell the trout.

You have to put it in
the refrigerator.

Come on.

What are you doing here?

Come here.

Come here.

Come on.

Move it!

- Is Roberta healthy?
- Yes. Don't be a coward.

Wait.

You know what I am?
The Latin stud.

In this case, the male
is only a sex object.

The female is the master
of the situation.

Mauricia...

Don't touch her.
We're not swingers.

If Calligari comes,
tell him I started inseminating.

At last. Want something
to eat?

- Something salty.
- Coming.

It was hard to convince him.

What will my son be to yours?
Cousins, right?

Yeah. Direct cousins.

- And he's two fathers put together.
- Father, uncle...

Uncle, brother...

Don't be afraid.

- He's Felipe's partner.
- What happened?

- He's just resting.
- Is he OK?

Leave him alone, because
if Felipe comes...

I told her, don't rush it.

- It won't work.
- Why?

- I can't.
- Didn't you say you could?

- It's not just a procedure.
- What's wrong?

- You want me to be explicit?
- Yes.

The bird won't fly.

You sound like Kung Fu.

She's looking at me like
a turkey in heat.

Sorry.

Need an electro-ejaculator?

- Why don't you have a drink?
- A cocktail.

No, I'm crazy.

Drink it. It's got an
aphrodisiac.

What's this?
Who put the knife here?

I'll help you.

- No.
- Relax.

Hello. Hello, Wild One.

1, 2, 3, testing.

Don't get used to this.

That was fast.

I'm modest.

Don't get stuck up.
If it weren't for Faustina...

We never would've thought
this. Look at me now.

And I just bought
the book of names.

We're not going to name
him Felipe.

Please not Felipe.
We need to keep the secret.

About the favor or about
the bird not flying?

Women are so ungrateful?

What about Roberta?

She's with her legs up.
Like she's doing yoga.

Make yourselves at home.
You can use the couch.

That thing about Mom
and Tyson...

was a lie.

Thank goodness.

If I have another night like
this, I'll go to Lourdes.

You're not nervous anymore.

Neither are you.

Don't put your legs down.
They have to be up.

Don't put them down.

It's better this way.

Honey, honey, please.

Don't leave me.

Remind me how it was
that time.

That time.

Like this. We were together
and I touched your hair...

- Is that OK?
- Fine.

- And then?
- We hugged.

- Wait!
- What did I do?

Move over.

Then came the best part.

We sinned again.

Excuse me.

What are you doing there,
Calligari?

And you even laugh?

You're a day late.
I expected you yesterday.

How can I be a partner
with a guy's who's late?

You think this is funny?

This isn't a good way
to start off.

OK. I already changed them.

I have to make their bed
and prepare their food.

Thanks, honey.

Let's make a toast.

Take the candle.

Cheers.

Felipe... we've been thinking.

We want another one.

I'm getting burned.