Original subtitles

So, my team and I visited our client's house,

and we got a bit of a scare.

There's dead bodies in the maze!

Thankfully, Lavinia was just as shocked as we were

that there was a dead body in her maze,

which is a huge relief

because Lavinia Peck-Foster is a dream client.

The judge set her bail at $10,

then paid it himself.

In fact, I think yesterday was probably the greatest day

I've ever had in court,

and that includes my 10th-grade field trip

to the Supreme Court

when I made out with Emily Jacobs.

Josh Segal...

Is he the kid who sat on his balls at prom?

Yeah!

Ahh!

Oh, it's amazing having a client that can do no wrong.

I'm telling you,

winning this case is gonna put us on the map.

Deep in the clogged bowels of South Carolina

is East Peck,

a backwater town

where the only way out is in a body bag.

What is that?

- Shut the up! - Quiet.

Join us as we follow

the trial of Lavinia Peck-Foster.

Welcome to "M-Towne: Where Murder Happens".

Whew.

- Hey, Josh. - You need something, buddy?

- What were you just listening to? - You didn't hear?

We're season two of "M-Towne".

Yeah, she called us the "Fallujah of the South".

- Anne, when you start smoking? - Oh, my God.

I suffer from a mild condition

of Localized Spontaneous Human Combustion.

It can be triggered by drinking rum.

Fantastic.

What about that body we found

in Lavinia's backyard?

Let's see.

- "It was part of a mass grave". - What?!

Most people know East Peck

as the site of the largest lead paint disposal accident

in modern history,

but we also have a rich tradition in rum running,

which is how the Pecks made their fortune.

200 years ago, my ancestors, the Reeds,

built Peck Gardens.

Their hard work was the foundation of this town.

And eight of their bodies, apparently,

are the foundation

of Lavinia Peck-Foster's hedge maze.

that.

They discovered they were Reeds

by their lack of dental records.

I'm sorry about that, Dwayne.

The good news is,

if those bodies were hundreds of years old,

Lavinia had nothing to do with their deaths.

- Unless... - I'm on it.

She's not a vampire, Dwayne.

No bad theories.

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Today is the preliminary hearing,

where the Judge will rule

if there's enough evidence to warrant a trial.

I'm telling you, this thing is getting thrown out.

So far, the only "evidence"

the prosecution has given me is this.

And now, the town of East Peck

braces for yet another murder trial.

Okay, show's over.

Oh, my God, Josh Segal.

I'm Nina Rudolph from "M-Towne".

It's so cool to finally meet you.

Can I interview you?

First of all, my client loved her husband

and is innocent.

And second, whatever I say,

you're just gonna cut it together and make me look bad.

My client cut her husband and loved it.

- Is all that paperwork for this case? - What's it to you?

You are legally obligated

- to show me all of your evidence. - Huh.

I guess the pregnancy's making me a little forgetful.

Oh...

I have never been sharper in my life.

I have two brains inside of me now.

I don't know where the defendant is.

She thinks she's above the law.

Objection. Speculation.

All rise.

Lavinia.

- You don't say that. - Oh, I'm sorry.

You may be seated.

I feel like I'm in a play.

Then it is a play about a woman who sits quietly.

Mm. Sounds like a British play.

I brought everyone scarves.

I have to give everyone a take-home.

I'm not on trial for murdering etiquette.

Your Honor, the people will prove

that despite her image,

Ms. Peck-Foster is a brutal and savage psychopath.

Get her scarf back.

Yes, I do, Your Honor.

The people would like to submit the autopsy photos,

which clearly show contusions on the victim's head

consistent with being struck by a wealthy woman.

Objection! All over the place.

This is the first time I'm hearing

of autopsy photos.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Your Honor.

I'm just feeling a little light-headed

because of the pregnancy.

Oh, thank you.

Well, according to the coroner's report...

Which we have never seen.

Oh, the baby is kicking now.

Aww.

There were traces of gold

found in the gaping wounds of Edgar's head,

suggesting that Lavinia cruelly bashed him

with something gold-plated.

Objection.

The only gold-plated thing I own is this cane.

Gah-ah!

His blood was found by the pool,

and there was water in the victim's lungs,

so we know that she drowned him.

Objection.

The water found in Edgar's lungs was freshwater,

and Lavinia's pool is saltwater,

which means he was not drowned in that pool.

Agreed, agreed.

The toxicology reports confirm

that the water in the victim's lungs

was from the Peck River,

which is adjacent to the defendant's property

and where she drowned him.

Your Honor, this evidence is circumstantial.

There are no witnesses,

no motive, no smoking gun...

Guys, come on!

Your Honor, given the lack of any tangible evidence...

Sorry, I am sorry.

I'm just feeling fatigued due to the baby.

Your Honor, the people are clearly

trying to use their pregnancy to manipulate the court!

Oh, I think the baby's moving a lot

because it can sense evil.

Objection!

Contraction!

So, we're going to trial.

That's what we do.

We... try.

No scarf for you.

Mother-.

Yeah, we're going to trial, but the good news is,

I have the best client a lawyer can have

and the best legal team in a working taxidermy office.

Edgar looks pretty pale in these photos.

Dwayne might be on to something with this vampire theory.

It wasn't a vampire.

Well, then, how do you explain

the two fang marks on his forehead?

What are those?

I mean, it looks like there are two slashes,

but they're different lengths.

Like he was attacked by a burn victim

wearing a glove with knives instead of fingers.

Dwayne, did you just see "Nightmare on Elm Street"?

How'd you know?

Every time Dwayne sees a new movie,

he has a new theory.

It was a Saint Bernard! JOSH: No.

- Wind. - No.

- Mannequin. - No.

What if it was a clock?

No!

Dwayne's right.

Those marks do look like clock hands.

Dwayne, you're a genius.

I just saw "Back to the Future",

so it was either clock or DeLorean.

Or Biff.

If Edgar was struck with a clock,

we should be able to tell the exact time he was hit from the wound.

It looks like he was bit...

I'm sorry, Josh.

HIT AT 5:00.

Hold on. The impression would be backwards,

so it'd be 7:00.

How did you know that?

Oh, I've been hit in the head with a lot of things.

Well, we know he hit the river at 8:15.

- Guys, we have a timeline. - Hold on.

What if it was 7:00 a.m.?

Uh, Anne saw him at the party that night.

Then what we got here

is a classic "Weekend at Bernie's" situation.

Our team is hot!

Oh!

Your Honor, the entire jury pool is tainted.

Everybody say "innocent"!

Innocent!

I don't have a problem.

Lavinia would've had roughly 1 hour and 15 minutes

to drag Edgar's unconscious body

down to the river in a suitcase.

I will play Lavinia,

and the suitcase will play itself.

We were gonna use a dummy,

but in order to be more accurate,

I'll be the dummy.

Dummy time.

The honorable Judge Kamiltow

will now read the rules for jury selection.

This trial is going to cost me a fortune in gifts.

We have to be more careful about who we invite.

Maybe I should explain how this works.

You think I don't know how a murder trial works?

Does the name Jesse Ray Beaumont

mean anything to you?

Jesse Ray Beaumont was Edgar's first clock apprentice

who murdered my brother, Chet.

To be clear, he wasn't the first clock apprentice

who murdered my brother, Chet.

He was Edgar's first apprentice, period,

who happened to murder my brother, Chet.

Oh, he was beloved.

To be clear, my brother, Chet, was beloved.

Not

Jesse Ray.

So you can take your Constitution

and your Land Ordinance of 1784

and stick 'em!

No!

First you kill my brother,

then you insult the Land Ordinance of 1784.

You monster!

I hate you, Jesse Ray!

Oh! Oh!

Let me down! Oh!

Man: Uh-oh. She fainted.

Jesse Ray got off with a slap on the wrist...

life in prison.

And I sit...

I sit here on trial for my life.

Where is the justice, L-Lawyer?

I can't bring back Edgar.

- Or my mother, who died two weeks prior. - Right.

Or my father, who killed himself.

Or my first cat.

No one's coming back.

But rest assured

that you have the best legal team possible.

Stop.

Ohh!

Oh,

I waive that right.

Wait, what right did you waive?

A jury of my peers?

No offense, Lawyer,

but I don't want to disturb Jackie Onassis

while she's on holiday.

Your Honor, I suppose the people

would be okay with a bench trial.

The defense is not.

A bench trial means there's no jury,

so a judge decides the verdict.

That is my only shot

since the entire town loves Lavinia.

Now I have to be careful how I bring it up,

as the prosecution cannot make that request.

Fortunately, I am a woman of subtlety and nuance.

Does anyone here feel

that they could not be an impartial juror?

No.

We love Lavinia!

And I you.

- Yes, we do! - Oh, gosh, Lavinia!

I take it back.

This might be my best day ever in court.

Is anyone here currently employed

by the Peck-Fosters?

And has anyone here ever had any family

employed by the Peck-Fosters?

Goodbye, Charles.

Who here enjoys Peck Rum?

- Where are all my fans going? - Don't worry.

She can't get rid of everyone.

And how many people have ever attended

the annual Peck Gala?

Wow.

She just got rid of everyone.

Lookie here. A bench trial.

Don't worry. We still have the timeline.

Josh, bad news.

Lavinia had more than enough time

to kill Edgar and drag him to the river.

Also, I can't find the key to the suitcase.

Hey, the good news is they're in my pocket.

Whew.

Well, that could not have gone worse.

Aah!

Oh,.

Well, I brought some photos from my party,

but I'm afraid you won't find me in any of them.

Josh...

- So, Lavinia... - Mm-hmm.

...we're trying to place you at the party

between 7:00 and 8:15.

Oh, well, let's see.

At 6:30, I had my solo.

How long did your solo last?

Well, there's only one way to find out.

♪ The ballroom was filled with fashion's throng ♪

♪ It shone with a thousand lights ♪

♪ And there was a woman who passed along ♪

♪ The fairest of all the sights ♪

♪ A beautiful sight to see ♪

♪ You would think she is happy and free from care ♪

♪ She's not, though she seems to be ♪

Wow!

That was beautiful.

So, we're trying to figure out...

♪ 'Tis sad to think of her wasted life ♪

♪ She's a bird ♪

♪ In a gi-i-i-i-i-i-lded cage ♪

Spectacular.

When was the last time...

♪ I stood in a churchyard just at eve ♪

♪ When the sunset adorned the west ♪

♪ Than to have people sa-a-a-a-a-a-y ♪

♪ When seen ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ah ♪

Thank you, thank you.

Lawyer.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Where are you going?

Oh, I must leave on the applause.

Enjoy the rest of your show.

Good night. Au revoir.

Ta-ta.

Wow.

Her solo was 25 minutes,

which does not help our timeline.

And is there anything in those pictures?

Um...

They all look the same.

It's like they're wearing masks.

They are wearing masks, Anne.

Well, these are useless.

Except it looks like her grandfather clock

is off by an hour,

judging from the time stamp on the pictures.

Oh, no. Her clocks are on North Peck time.

Peck County has two proud distinctions...

fewest surnames per capita

and two separate time zones.

The people of North Peck

are one hour ahead of their neighbors to the west,

the people of East Peck.

One town, two time zones!

Whoo!

Our timeline assumes

that Edgar was hit at 7:00 p.m. North Peck time,

but if he was struck by an East Peck clock,

that would mean he was hit

at 8:00 p.m. North Peck time,

which would shrink our timeline down to 15 minutes!

And since her car was blocked in,

there is no way she would've had enough time

to kill him and get him down to the river.

Unless...

Dwayne, she's not a vampire.

All right.

We have to prove

the marks on Edgar's head

were made by an East Peck clock,

so we need to consult a clock expert.

There were only two in town.

One was found dead in my client's trunk.

The other, the monster who killed Lavinia's brother.

Right now, the monster is our only option.

Hm.

Jesse Ray.

Thank you for...

Shh.

Is that a Tissot PRS 516 Chronograph?

Oh, my watch.

It is. It's two minutes fast.

What are you running from?

I don't think I'm running from anything.

- Ooh, do me, do me. - You're not wearing a timepiece.

Oh, this guy's good.

So, listen, the reason we're here is...

You want to talk about the death of Edgar Foster.

- You got all that from my watch? - No.

I listen to "M-Towne".

Such a good season.

- I know, right? Oh. - Oh.

- Okay, guys. - Thank you.

So, this may be a long shot,

but can you tell what kind of clock

made these marks on Edgar's head?

Well, not only can I tell you

what kind of clock made those marks,

I can tell you the exact clock and who owns it.

- You are a lifesaver. - Yeah.

I just need one little thing in return.

I got you.

No.

I want to talk about the conspiracy

surrounding the murder of Chet Peck.

Yeah, yeah, we can arrange that.

And I want to tell it to Lavinia Peck-Foster.

Mother-!

No way I'm gonna talk to that

piece of.

Hey! No!!

So, she said no.

Mother-!

Lady driver coming through!

Lady driver!

Since Lavinia made it very clear

that she wants nothing to do with Jesse Ray,

I need to find someone else for him to tell his story to.

I want you to talk to Jesse Ray Beaumont.

Fine. I'll help you.

But I need more.

Okay. Yeah.

I'll give you the interview,

but under one condition...

you have to stop ripping on East Peck.

The town flag is a cartoon

of an owl saying "Hoo Farted?".

In fairness, it was a contest.

Nobody expected the elementary-school voter turnout

to be that high.

- What? - God.

Dude, you're from New York.

How could you love this place so much?

I don't know.

I gave up everything I had to be here.

And it's just got a certain charm.

- Is that the charm? - No, no, we're just colleagues.

Oh, wow.

How dare you call me in the middle of a workday

when I'm about to put coconut oil on my nethers?

You called me.

And, um... why are you naked?

Sorry, I thought you'd be in your office.

You know what? I think I'm gonna go.

Uh... Who is that in the background?

Uh...

Oh! Hi.

It's, um...

It's Nina Rudolph.

I just called to tell you

I have your stupid murder book, jackass.

What the hell was that on the phone?

One second you're withholding evidence,

the next, you're coming on to me.

I offered to help with the baby, you said no.

So, either we are going to act like professionals

or we're gonna have no relationship at all.

I am tired of playing games with you.

Mm.

Okay, one quick game.

But all that talk about Area 51...

why is nobody talking about Area 52, huh?

Does that answer your question?

I don't even remember what the question was.

Hey, there. Sorry I'm late.

So, now will you tell us

what kind of clock caused these marks?

Okay.

That is a one-of-a-kind Zuccarello FX-413.

It's been in the Jessup family for generations.

Who are the Jessups?

They're the craziest family in town.

Bunch of weirdos, if you ask me.

But they're also from East Peck,

which means Edgar was struck by an East Peck clock,

which means...

We've got our timeline.

Murder board!

Murder board! Murder board!

Murder board!

Care for a shot of Peck Rum?

It's the official rum of Peck Elementary.

Man, they really got to raise the voting age.

I'm gonna pass.

I got to work tonight.

On what?

We just proved that Lavinia couldn't have done it.

Plus, the Jessups are now suspects.

I don't know.

In my experience,

"M-Towne" always has a twist.

Well, this isn't "M-Towne".

And our client may be eccentric,

but she is not a criminal.

- Yeah! - Yeah!

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