Original subtitles

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Move! I want to see a weapon here...

...and a weapon there!

Sergeant, split your squad!

Set your weapons for close range.

Laser sight interlock engaged.

You ready to seal the room?

System's armed, sir. Ready on your order.

Prepare to seal the room on my count.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Attention all personnel...

..the room is sealed.

I repeat, the room is sealed.

Control two to building commander...

I'm showing an intrusion beyond perimeter three.

Moving to check it out.

Sector perimeter three, scanning...

I see it.

Opening fire now.

Nabel, this thing's been spotted and targeted already.

Frankly, I was expecting more.

The company's expecting much more.

Mr. Saggs, if you'll just be patient...

Must have missed!

Holly molly, I'm taking shots here.

I'm hit, I'm hit...

AAV 13, do you copy?

We just lost contact with command post three...

...outside the second perimeter.

This is command to chopper 4...

...we lost contact with post three.

Can you drop them some temporary communications gear?

Screw that, command!

You didn't lose contact, you lost them. Over.

I'm putting rockets in that area, hear me? Over.

Check your goddamn screens!

Where is he, Nabel?

Heading this way, Mr. Saggs. He's on his way.

Move the armored personnel carriers...

...and hopscotch from the east sector to the west!

And keep them moving!

Lost the dual sensors!

What the hell is that?

Air 4, what the hell is going on out there?

What are those explosions?

How many of these things are there?

We're eating it bad!

One. Repeat, one!

We took a hit...

...hit bad!

Jesus!

Alright everybody, stay cool.

Holly shit! It's right outside!

Stay cool.

Stay at your work stations.

- Do it! - Open fire!

Hold your position!

Hold your position, damn it...

This exercise has concluded.

Security stand down.

How many people know about this?

I'm the only one with the complete picture, Mr. Saggs.

I split development between divisions, different planets...

That's why it cost so much.

Yeah, it was expensive.

But you know, Nabel, with enough of these...

...we could take over the world!

Which world?

Earth, Nabel!

The government's been hanging by a thread for years.

I mean, with a hundred of these...

How many we got?

Five thousand.

You astonish me!

A particle weapon.

There's nobody within five years of having anything even remotely like it.

Now... This thing turns them on and off.

You want to activate them, you just click here...

...and give them your objectives.

Here...

I assigned your voice primary command authority.

Nabel, you're a genius!

I'm proud of you!

The company will be very proud of you!

If circumstances only permitted...

...I would greenlight one great hellacious bonus for you...

...and a promotion right on the spot.

But with our objective on Earth...

...you can see how that precludes it.

I see...

Well I know you would, Nabel...

I mean, after all, you are a genius.

Of course this all has to be... deniable.

From which you can unfortunately infer that you, too...

Have to be deniable.

Destroy Dr. Nabel.

- No!

No!

This is heavy freight PKF 946...

...requesting clearance in the Inter Pork docks.

PKF, reduce speed to 1500...

...and contact your corporate controller on the designated frequency.

This is John Canyon...

...inbound from Mars City...

...calling Inter Pork.

I've got 147 trailers...

...of Mars' finest genetically squared jacked up hogs...

...which, naturally, I want to dump as soon as possible.

You got dock open?

Canyon, this is Keller at Inter Pork packers dispatch.

You're two day past due!

Check out my regrets, pal.

Do you want these hogs or not, Mr. Keller?

You get them into C Dock, Canyon!

Park your load and park your mouth!

Bitchin' Betty, I'm checking on the cargo.

As you wish, freight driver.

Magnetic floor activated.

How you all doing, huh?

You like that don't you, huh?

Everybody happy?

So... where's my beer and when do I get paid?

You can unhook your rig, Canyon.

Stop by the office in half an hour...

...I'll cut you a check.

I'll unhook when I got my money, no offense.

You know that's not company policy.

Yeah, I know that.

That's why it's my policy not to unhook until I'm paid.

You are late! Plenty late!

You want I apologize?

I got the hogs here in good shape.

I did it as quick as I could.

You knew my rig was slow and you hired me for the job.

I've taken that into consideration.

And that's the reason I'm willing to offer you 1,500 credits.

No, no... you owe me 6,000!

You don't seem to get it...

...that I've only offered you the 1,500 out of impulsive generosity!

I think it's time for you to leave!

You're upsetting my pigs.

Alright, Jackie...

Go get him, Jackie!

My pleasure...

No no no, Jackie.

That's not the way to throw a punch in zero gravity.

See, this is the recommended technique...

Shit!

What the hell do you think you're doing?

You're gonna depressurize the area and kill us all!

Canyon, these hogs are company property!

They belong to me until you pay me!

Now get the hell off my rig!

I'm gonna get a court order, you hear me?

You'll forfeit your right of any payment!

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

- Do you hear me?

Hey Cindy.

Hi, John.

Gone only four weeks this time, huh?

Yeah. I got lucky.

I picked up a load of square pigs on Mars.

Who is this?

My name is Mike Pucci.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

You are a space trucker, kid?

Not yet.

He's taking a solo today.

- Oh yeah?

Hey Habib, give me a synthburger well done and a side of sham fries.

What kind of rig you driving?

Pachyderm 2000.

Pachyderm? Right...

So you've been driving for a while I guess.

It's hard to beat that old iron, kid.

Student Mike Pucci report to area T.

That's me.

Wish me luck, Cindy.

Good luck, Mike

See you.

Who's the kid? To you I mean.

The customer, like you.

I didn't always use to be just a customer, huh?

- Hey... - Sorry, new rules!

They're recycling all leftovers ok?

Of all the cheap bullshit...

I don't like it any better than you do but I can't afford to get fired...

...especially now.

What's going on?

Well... you know my mother's on Earth, right?

Maybe you mentioned it, yeah.

She's gonna have an operation and it's really serious...

...and I promised that I'll be there with her.

Oh that's rough, I'm sorry. So when are you leaving?

Leaving!? You know what a ticket costs...

I'd have to pull double shifts here for over a year...

...to earn my way out of here.

- Let me ask around, see what I can come up with.

You are a good man, John...

...but you are not a company man.

They only give Earth funds to company people...

...and not of them has the balls to risk taking me.

God, what I wouldn't give...

You know what I want.

Yeah.

How many times I proposed you?

Three?

I think you left out a few.

Last couple of times you were pretty loaded.

Tell you what... You agree to marry me...

I'll get you to Earth!

- Cindy!

- Yeah right!

It's a deal then, huh?

John, you get me to Earth...

...and if you still want to marry me when we get there...

...I'll do it!

Alright, alright!

I'm gonna get back to work, okay?

Right.

Sonic pick. Cool, man.

- Yeah! - Shhh!

Get the tow truck ready.

I'll unhook the load and meet you there.

- OK.

Hey, John.

- Oh, hi! - Still working independent, John?

I still own my own rig, pick my own loads...

...and don't sell ad space on my tits...

...if that's what you're talking about.

You're back for Kev's funeral?

Oh, I didn't hear.

He and his load got into the scum cluster.

Not much of either came out.

Oh. Hijackers killed him, huh?

And then some.

Who do you think got him?

Word is that captain Macanudo stumbled on him.

That guy's a damn depraved animal.

Captured Kevin's load...

All they sent back was his dick.

Using a tennis ball can for a coffin.

Cremation would've had more dignity if you ask me.

Anyways, John, we're planning on having a wake after the service.

Hey John...

You hauled Inter Pork hogs?

Yeah, they're my hogs until I get paid for 'em.

Would you look at that!

Some piece of garbage wrapped in human skin...

...is trying to jack my load!

Yeah?

You wanted to see me, Mr. Keller?

Yeah. I understand you just graduated from space truck school.

Yeah!

I need someone to push a shipment of square hogs...

...to Little Chicago on Titan.

Square pigs?

Isn't that John Canyon's load?

It's an Inter Pork load.

I fired Canyon yesterday.

You got a feeling about that one way or the other?

No.

No, I barely know the guy.

Good.

Cause there's about 1,500 out of work freight pushers here who want that job.

Yeah, well, I'm the best.

Your potential is frightening.

You want the job?

I'll take it.

Pick up your pink probationary coveralls from Ammoson Supply.

See you keep them clean!

Pink, huh?

They're pink.

Hey Mike, congratulations!

Thanks.

John! Mike got himself a new job.

Well, normally we'd have some kind of blowout for that...

...but I see from your pajamas who you're working for.

Which is nothing to celebrate.

John, not everyone can be independent.

Not everyone can drive their own rig, babe.

John, I'm sorry about you losing your job, okay?

This is my only shot.

I'm out of money, I'm out of credit.

Somebody's gotta get these pigs to Titan.

You took a fearless world of inventory, kid...

...and then you took my job?

Well, if you can live with that, great!

But I don't have to!

Now you hump yourself down at the other end of the ball...

Look, I treat you with respect. I'm asking you do the same here.

- Keller's here!

Hey look, kid!

Your boss brought the circus with him!

We've come to pay our respects.

The circus!

A pair of trained turds, right here!

He's just blowing steam, Mr. Keller.

This Kev thing's got people upset.

Slam your teeth, Delia!

I want you off this hub, Canyon!

Oh, I'd like to oblige you...

If you'd paid me, I'd be gone by now.

We fueled your rig.

Now move your ass down there and off of this station!

I don't work for you!

Ok!

What? Somebody say something? Huh?

You don't mess with me, Canyon!

And you never ever mess with the company!

Now hold on, Mr. Keller...

The man's within his rights here.

Step off, kid.

Kid's a real space lawyer!

Get the hell away from me, Canyon!

Mel, Jackie, do something!

Jackie, do something!

Warning, hull breach! Decompression occurring.

Evacuate the area!

My god! Somebody help me!

Help me, please!

Jack, come on!

Grab him!

No, Cindy, get out of here!

Cindy, get out!

Save her!

Give me your hand! Come on!

Come on!

It's the wrong door.

Get in now!

John, it's the wrong door!

Get out! What are you doing?

John, close it.

- This is occupied!

Nice lady.

Come on in the cubicle, both of you.

Alright, check the stalls!

Get out! What are you doing?

Get out! This is occupied!

This wouldn't be strictly a social call, would it?

It's always a pleasure to see you, Mr. Zesty.

I need to get off the hub.

I need a load.

It's problematic, John.

Problematic.

There are people who would like to see you put down like a diseased dog.

Powerful people.

How about I recite all the times that I helped you out?

This and that... Here and there...

An appeal to my sentimental side?

Yeah.

I shall open my heart at once!

I do have something.

Something unpleasant I fear.

We'll take it.

I'm his partner.

Says who?

What? You're saying I'm not?

I lost one job because of you. You owe me!

I stay here, they're gonna mount my ass on the board!

You are a passenger, not a partner.

So what've you got, Mr. Zesty?

It is a rush shipment to Earth.

Two day schedule.

Containers to be left in high orbit on arrival.

He said Earth.

We'll do it.

What's the cargo?

The manifest states... Extruded polymer sexual surrogates.

Sex dolls?

They're paying five times the going rate.

And providing all the paperwork, forged of course.

But undetectable.

I said... done.

I hesitate to caution a man of your experience...

...but the consigners of this cargo were most emphatic...

...that their delivery schedule be adhered to!

And...

...don't temper with those containers!

Is this gonna take long? There's troopers all over the place.

No, I'm almost done. Do you see her coming?

No. You think the law grabbed her?

No, she'll make it.

I like her.

She's friendly.

Yeah, she's got a kindly nature.

You mind if I ask you what the deal is with Cindy?

I don't get you.

I think she likes me.

I'd like to pursue it further.

I'd like to know if you're involved.

If I get your drift, and I do get your drift...

...I must tell you that a gentleman, Mike...

...a gentleman doesn't answer a question like that.

That's a no?

Sorry, I'm late. I had to give them the 30 seconds notice.

Here, help me out.

It's all right.

Geez, my underwear.

I haven't seen this before.

Is this a friend of yours?

Actually that's my mother Carol. It was taken before I was born.

I can see where you got your good looks from.

Thanks.

Wouldn't mind meeting her back then, huh?

- Yeah?

Yeah.

Here we go.

There!

Jeez, I've never seen trailers like these before.

They look...

- Creepy.

They look like they've come a long ways already.

What do you think is in them, John?

I don't.

Something very creepy!

At maximum velocity we're still gonna be 60 hours...

...the wrong side of the delivery time.

If we stay in the shipping lane.

John, you wanna fill me in on your plans here?

I don't ask you yours.

Look...

We're all in this together, okay?

I think you owe me and Cindy the courtesy of an answer here.

All systems functional. Pressure within acceptable ranges.

Electronic subsystems testing.

John, look, the minute we pull outta here...

...the transport troopers are gonna be all over us. Do you get that?

Now you're just gonna have to learn to live with your fear.

If it gets too bad, breathe into a paper bag or something...

...but shut up!

Collar yourself!

You better power down, Canyon!

I'm sorry, boys, I got a...

...priority load of perishable goods here.

It's not a request!

We got questions about Keller.

Last time I saw him...

...he was being sucked ass first into the outer darkness.

John, I think these guys are getting serious.

We better stop.

Yeah!

Not while I still have an option open.

All units converge!

Abandon pursuit.

Repeat, do not pursue.

We can get them, damn it!

The orders are to abandon pursuit!

I love taking orders.

Looks like we lost 'em.

More like they stopped chasing us.

That was some of the best driving I've ever seen.

Oh thank you.

Just put the pedal to the metal and play footsie with fate, son.

Breakfast is ready.

Turn your cortexes on up there. Food's ready.

Mike, Cindy... Come on.

We on time?

We will be.

We left the space lanes.

About six hours ago.

What is this?

Saliva activated cappuccino and eggs.

Don't you like it?

What the hell is that?

Some kind of floating junkyard?

Welcome to the scum cluster.

What the hell happened to them?

Asteroids got some of them.

Asteroids? Where are they?

Where are they?

Yeah, where are they?

Warning! Density 10 asteroid field.

Freight driver...

You're approaching too fast for evasive maneuvers.

Don't make me turn you off, Betty.

John, this shows a big cluster coming straight ahead.

I don't see anything.

It's got to be a malfunction, right?

It's black rock!

- What? - Strap yourselves in!

I think we're clear.

I've never been so afraid in my life.

Look out!

Ok. Cindy?

Yeah.

Mike?

Yeah.

I'm going for some light.

How bad do you think it is?

It felt bad.

Sure did.

Betty, confirm what I'm seeing here.

Freight driver, main and secondary engines are down...

...due to pressure constriction of components in direction control...

Thanks, Betty.

...and internal coolant system has also shut down.

You're welcome, freight driver.

No chance for a fix?

Sure.

After a five hour cool down.

We'll roast in here before then.

It's getting hot in here.

Yeah, I figure we got about two hours before we burn up.

Escape pod is no good.

Too far away from the nearest colony to make it.

Anyway, it only holds two.

So what's that mean? We're gonna die?

There's always a chance that our emergency locator beacons...

...will draw somebody before that happens.

Somebody? What do you mean somebody?

John!?

Sure... There's always a chance, baby.

Always a chance.

We got a little juice left in the parking rocket.

If we can cut the load loose...

...we should be able to put ourselves in the shadow of one of them asteroids.

Yeah, that'd give us enough time to fix the main engines.

Let's go.

It's a one man job.

Be careful.

You were born on Earth, weren't you, Cindy?

Yeah, New York City.

That's technically a part of Earth.

Earth... I've always dreamed about going to that place.

That's great.

You know... birds, trees...

Those things living in the rivers...

Yeah, fish.

My mother used to take me to see them a couple of times.

Earth is an amazing place.

It's so hot.

Yeah.

Do you mind?

No.

I'll do the same.

I feel so much better.

John, how you doing out there buddy?

There's some kind of automatic seal deal here.

I'm gonna have to try cracking it off.

Alright, you do that. Let me know if I can help you out, okay?

Mike, we gotta stop.

Wait... wait.

Stuff like this happens all the time.

We got to realize one thing...

...I'm engaged.

What?

It started out as a joke. John asked me to marry him...

...and I said sure, if you take me to Earth.

That's total bullshit!

A promise is a promise, okay? John's a good man.

I don't have to justify myself to you or to anybody...

We gotta stop.

I'm sorry.

This here is not gonna work.

It's awfully warm in here.

It's awfully hot in here, isn't it?

So... let's take her clothes off, be more comfortable, huh?!

Right?

Yeah.

Would that have been your idea?

Yeah it was my idea. So what?

Well I think it's a pretty cheesy way to get a look at my fiance's tits.

Knock it off, John.

Look, that's not what's going on here, John, at all!

I got to hand it to you, Mike. King of the smooth dogs.

"Oh, it's hot in here..." "Your husband's outside..."

- We're not married, alright? - You know what I think of a guy...

who forces a girl to marry him in exchange for giving her a lift?

I'd like to know what you think...

Hey, hey, stop it...

Stop fighting over a girl!

There's gonna be two scoops of ashes in about two hours, alright?

We're gonna die here, ok?

Why don't we try for a little dignity for a change?

I can't unhook the load.

There's some kind of an auto defense mechanism on the containers.

Whatever's in them, it ain't no sex dolls.

A plastic date doesn't need that kind of protection.

Yeah, tell me about it.

So what are we gonna do now?

Why don't we divert the coolants from the refrigerator...

...through the inside plumbing?

That's a great idea.

It would give us something to do anyways.

The Pachyderm 2000 rig... It don't have a refrigerator.

Why the hell not?

Because it's an option.

I don't buy options, you know?

Like... it's either suede seats or...

...half tinted four port, or... silent suck toilets.

I don't buy options.

Great.

But I did bring this.

Suck a ZOX.

Well, at least we got some notice.

It gives us time to prepare ourselves for the end.

However you do that.

Attention, freight driver!

We've been approached by an oligarch class passenger liner.

Passenger liner. We're being saved.

There's likely gonna be some conditions attached to that.

Liner identified as former vessel A7-N843.

Vanished 10-24-92.

It didn't vanish. It was jacked.

These are the jackers, man.

If it's who I think it is...

...boy are you lucky you're not wearing those company pajamas.

Move out, come on. Let's go.

Come on, hurry up.

Get that hatch open! Come on!

John, how many guns you got?

I'm not even sure this one works.

They'll be in here in a minute...

If you're not gonna use it give it to me. I'll use it!

You're gonna make one of them desperate last stands?

Look, set aside what this scum might have in mind for us...

...what do you think they're gonna do to her, huh?

Mike, there's not a lot we can do.

We just hope that our cooperative attitudes and our sunny disposition see us clear.

What did you have in mind, Mike?

We hold them off as long as we can and then...

What?

I'll save two shots for the both of us.

Oh, great... yeah.

Can you put that thing away someplace safe, ok?

We're not gonna let them take us! Give me the gun!

Mike, I gotta go to Earth, okay?

So if I got to wait through neck-deep crap, I'm still going!

Everybody, come on, move!

We don't work for the company, remember that!

We're friendly, friendly.

Drop it!

We don't work for the company.

Over to the control panel! Move it, now!

We're going, we're going.

You're all prisoners of the Regalia, if anyone's curious.

If you try to escape, you will be killed!

If you resist, you will be killed!

If you fail to obey orders, you will be killed!

Ah, what the hell...

...we'll probably kill you anyway.

Alright, get them out of here!

Come on. Move it! Get out!

Move 'em out!

Come on.

- We don't work for the company

Move it!

Sorry.

Come on.

Stay with me!

Look at that, huh!?

Salvage specialist.

Shut up. What are you hauling?

- We don't know. - You don't know?

I'm telling you that we don't know. Never cared.

It's a mistake to give up caring.

That's too much. Macanudo wouldn't like it.

You leave the captain to me!

My pleasure.

Cutt, man...

Manifest says what they're carrying is sex dolls.

Sex dolls?

What do you think they're really carrying?

Gotta be something hot. Drugs maybe.

You like drugs or guns best, Lou?

I like drugs.

I like guns better.

- Scummy. - Yeah?

- Hook 'em up. - This way...

Where's Captain's equipment?

Over here.

Manifest says they're carrying sex dolls.

Thank you for apprising me, Mr. Cutt.

Well I do know how you love to be apprised, sir.

You have been perspiring.

It was about 170 in the cab.

I compliment you, my dear.

You have a strong, distinctive...

...and not altogether unpleasant body odour.

It's gratifyingly approachable.

Captain... we want to thank you for saving us.

We're real grateful about it, Captain. Thank you.

I didn't save you, you company scumbag. I jacked your load!

Well, whatever, we appreciate it.

I think it's important that you understand we do not work for the company.

I want to know what your cargo is...

...who's the shipper and who's the consignee?

We don't know none of that.

You're gonna kick yourself later.

If you have trouble to inform yourself.

I wouldn't have to slice off your manly process.

Is he talking about my dick?

Captain, we're just independent contract haulers.

We're trying to make a living.

We don't ask a lot of questions.

What we do know...

...is whatever's in those cars is not something to mess with!

Do I look like someone to mess with?

No, sir.

Like I have the IQ of an egg timer?

No.

Those are high security double-due containers you're hauling.

I say the pair of you are company butt boys!

Wrong!

If you're gonna hack off my dick, do it!

And I'll change my name to Terry or Lee or something neutral.

That ain't gonna change what I know!

Your dick?

Is this your dick?

No.

That one's mine.

Ok. I'm gonna run a proof of Fermat's last theorem in my head.

That takes between 8 and 17 seconds.

And then we'll begin again.

Captain's a genius.

Yeah.

I was head of company research and development.

Top man.

Slotted for the big job.

I was betrayed by that bastard E.J. Saggs.

Fool though he'd killed me.

Made the mistake of having it done in the laboratory.

I was able to save myself.

Recreate my body.

You are a very attractive woman.

In the normal course of human affairs...

...you probably wouldn't look twice at me.

Captain, where are we going with this?

I am drawn to beauty like other men.

The beauty... beauty gives me a wide birth in life's halls, so to speak.

Were you not chained to a major support beam of my ship...

...I wouldn't stand a chance of having sex with someone so...

...alluring as you.

Leave her alone you half-electric asshole.

He didn't mean that!

He respects the brave way you confront your disability.

Kill him.

- Wait! - Mr. Cutt...

Look, I've got to get to Earth. I've got to see my mother.

So keep the load and give us the rig, and...

I'll have sex with you.

Really?

Yeah.

Right there on the floor if that's what you want.

I think we should prepare to my quarters, my dear.

Scummy.

John, we gotta do something!

What are we gonna do? Just sit here?

Don't corrupt the right to be indignant, kid.

She's my fiance.

What would make you more comfortable, my dear?

I have seven different forms of sedation.

Alcohol.

The usual pharmacology.

Let's not fool ourselves, Captain, alright?

I just want to get this over with.

I can accept that.

However, I'm confident that I can make you a favorable impression.

I rebuilt my own mind.

So you got a homemade brain.

I rebuilt everything.

Every organ.

I emmit a low-amp electrical whang pulse...

...designed to drive women wild with pleasure.

Stop, you're gonna make me puke.

Quit talking or the deal's off, okay?

I pray you allow me a few moments to coordinate my...

...seldom used reproductive sequencer.

Yeah, sure.

This casing's made out of some exotic alloy...

...and these security seals, man, they're something new.

I wouldn't mess with that load.

It's bad. It'll eat you alive

My heart is racing, Mr. Truckman.

Ok, Sam...

Hit it!

- God... - You alright?

That's a diamond blade that just shattered.

What the hell does that?

One of those things.

We gotta try something else, Lou

Yeah.

What the hell is that?

Sam...

Sam... are you alright?

What's cooking? Something's cooking.

What are you talking about?

Smells like somebody's been making hamburgers.

God damn, Sam! It's you.

It is?

Sam...

What did I tell you?

Shut up!

I gotta tell the captain.

John, we gotta do something!

What do you think they're doing to her up there, huh?

It's not the first time, kid, and she's doing it for the team.

We're a hundred percent operational, my dear.

Hey, you wanna lose the manlidge or you're gonna give me a nosebleed.

It's a good luck charm, I never take it off.

Just close your eyes and think of Brooklyn.

You treacherous bitch!

Nothing personal.

You just made the biggest mistake of your life!

Big talk for a guy who can't get up off his back.

You'll never get off this ship!

Oh yeah? Watch me!

Mr. Cutt!

There you are, Captain.

Lou just went looking for you... The load...

You want me to leave... okay.

Alright, Captain, ok.

Back awfully quick, aren't you, Captain?

Did she ride you out?

Kill 'em, huh?

What? What?

Oh, you want to kill them. Absolutely, touchdown.

You wanted to cut them down?

You don't mind if I tenderize them a little bit first?

Scummy.

You overblown cretin.

Well, aren't you a regular Mr. Fix-it?

I'm sorry you couldn't find it in your heart to give me a chance.

You could've been my beloved concubine....

...and shared my position here.

Well, I guess it wasn't in my fortune cookie.

Now all you'll share is my crew...

...312 of them in random order.

But first, you can watch me kill your friends.

Or, if you prefer, you can scrunch up your cute little nose and turn other way.

Do it, Captain.

Captain, did it occur to you that a load with that kind of protection

ought to be checked out first thing?

After you, Mr. Cutt.

Yes, sir.

Right behind you, Lou.

Come on, get in there.

Oh wow.

Oh man!

Holly shit.

What the hell is all this junk?

These...

...are my babies.

Captain...

State of the art disintegrators, boys.

This baby will bake a man in 500 milliseconds...

...and leave his watch and small change lying on the deck.

Just what have we got here, sir?

We've got Saggs, boys.

We've got E.J. Saggs...

....right by his shriveled little scrotum.

A little reprogramming and the company is mine.

Ours, if you will.

And then I'll feed Saggs' liver to the ship's rats.

Hey... look at this. This one's missing.

What?

Damn!

What's that do, Captain?

Quiet!

It's coming!

Kill it!

What the hell is going on here?

I don't know but I bet we'll get blamed.

Let's get out of here.

Bite it deathnut, asshole.

Get ready. Let's go!

Five minutes to complete cool down.

We ain't got five minutes!

Fire it up, will you, Mike?

We made it!

I can't believe we got out of there.

I gotta say I'm very very happy to be here.

God damn I am!

Me too.

Of course you always feel that way after a near miss.

It wears off.

Attention, freight driver...

...there is a breach in the exterior hull of container 1.

Pressure and oxygen loss is total.

If we got a vacuumed container, too bad, you know.

If the load's perishable it's already perished.

Yeah, so forget it.

Wait a second, does somebody hear something back there...

...that sounds like there's something back there?

I do.

Bitchin' Betty, take over!

Mike, suit up.

Cindy, move over here.

Ok, sit here. You watch these gauges.

You see a red light come on...

...you shout at me on the radio, okay?

Alright.

I will need you to elaborate on your instructions.

Bitchin' Betty, you hold the course toward Earth!

You better keep this, ok?

It's an SOS.

Yeah, that can also be a trap.

Light me.

There's a flame in my pocket.

Maybe I should get the first aid kit.

Forget it.

I cauterized the main arteries...

...but I don't have much time left.

What happened back there at the Regalia?

Soldier...

...a warrior...

...activated and did what it's programmed to do.

And what about our cars here? You know what's in them?

An army.

What?

I made them for the company.

Genetically engineered...

...biomechanical super warriors.

My babies.

You can't stop them.

There's gotta be some way to shut those bastards off!

We're doomed...

...I'm afraid.

If I had an anus...

...I'd probably soil myself.

You gotta tell us how to stop these things!

They activate in waves.

1,2,4,8...

This thing here locks them up.

You boys got a use for this?

- He's gone. - Yeah.

For a son of a bitch gamp rapist murderer...

...he died ok. Come on.

John...

John! Do it!

Wow.

We should go check it out in there.

We need some light in here.

I've got a flashlight.

It ain't exactly made for the space.

It's made for reading under the blanket, isn't it?

Damn!

This thing doesn't work until they're all grown up.

Let's... get back outside and wait for 'em.

Yeah.

Come on.

Here.

John!

Is everything ok back there?

We don't know yet.

I can't see anything.

Isn't there supposed to be four of them?

Yeah.

Where's the other two?

Cindy, put your space suit on!

They're headed toward the cab.

Do it, John!

Freeze 'em!

Do not damage or destroy...

...your means of transport to Earth!

Do not destroy your means...

It's programming. They can't wreck the truck.

John, he's got a Swiss army knife!

Oh shit, I made it mad!

Cooking time estimated 45 seconds.

Next time there's gonna be eight.

We're in a qucik decaying Earth orbit.

So when I cut the load loose it'll drop into the atmosphere...

...and incinerate those mutant guys.

I want the two of you to get in the escape pod and get out of here.

No, we'll go with you!

You ain't being asked.

Mike, you drive the pod.

So what's the plan, John?

Well...

I'm gonna try to free the coupling.

Blow it if I have to.

And then I'm gonna ride the rig down.

Look, John, the goddamn rig will never make it through the atmosphere.

Get serious.

Kid, this is a Pachyderm 2000 rig!

It was mine before you were born...

...I know what it'll do.

Now I got something I want to say to both of you.

Cindy, I'm releasing you of all your obligations...

...to marry me right now. Alright?

And I want to apologize for the way I've done it.

It weren't right.

And... you know, I guess I've been jealous...

...since I saw the way you two behaved with each other together.

Look, John, you don't have to apologize, really.

Well, I don't do it so well anyway.

Probably 'cause you've never done it before.

My advice to you is you take this woman to the church...

...at the first exit off the freeway and you get hitched!

You are a lucky man.

Ok? Alright, partner. Kick butt!

We're about ready here, John. How is it going buddy?

Oh, it's hanging by a thread.

I'll have it cut in no time.

I can practically kick it apart.

No sign of any genetic deal, so...

Go on, get out of here.

John, I figure we'll try for the Palmdale space port.

You can bring your rig in there.

Yeah, that sounds good.

I'll see you there.

Betty, how much time before we hit the atmosphere?

32 seconds, freight driver.

Entering atmosphere.

Had enough for you?

Wow, man.

There he is.

- Look, Mike, is that smoke? - There's bound to be smoke!

The shielding will be burning off.

Come on, John! Come on, baby!

- Come on. - He's getting closer.

He's gonna make it.

He's gonna make it, Cindy.

Here he comes.

Oh my god.

My god, Mike.

Hey... hey...

Hey, look here.

You married yet?

Good to see you.

We interrupt this program for a special news update.

Two space truckers and a waitress...

...have saved the Earth from an invasion from outer space.

The three discovered they were carrying an army of robotic warriors...

...sent by persons unknown to conquer our planet.

Mom...

I have Mike and John here with me.

Oh, just a second.

Would you like us to come back when you're a little more recovered, maybe?

Nah, I'll be right with you.

Sit down.

Can we get you anything, Mrs. Welch?

Get this Mike... call me Carol.

Mom?

Mom!

This is Mike.

Oh, Mike, yeah, welcome to the family.

This is John.

Oh yeah...

You are Carol Welch?

Cindy's your daughter? This Cindy?

What? Do I look weird or something?

You look great...

...and beautiful, like the picture that I saw of you, but...

...that picture was taken twenty years back.

Could somebody tell me what's going on here?

You see when I got sick, they offered me a choice.

Die or get frozen.

Anyway, I got the deep freeze...

...they thawed me, they cured me...

...here I am.

They froze you?

Well, there's a lot of fancy names for it but...

Yeah.

I don't look freezer burnt, do I?

Not from what I can see.

Special agent Rigid, I'm taking charge here!

What do you want?

Pat 'em down.

What?

I'm head of presidential security.

We're securing this room for a presidential visit.

The president?

The president of the world is coming here?

Yeah?

- Mr. President, I... - Ok, Rigid, move along.

Shoo...

I'm president Saggs.

And I'm here to express the gratitude of my administration.

And my constituents. All the people of this system.

Saggs? E.J. Saggs?

I thought that the president's name was Dobey.

Dobey is the former president.

He resigned last week.

Government's been privatized.

High time.

We know who you are Saggs, ok?

You sent those things to Earth...

...and you cost us a good rig...

...and you almost got us killed about fifty times, okay?

Take it easy!

You're talking to the president here.

I'll grant you there've been mistakes made...

...and there have been lies told.

But I assure you, whatever you've been told...

...I was not aware, and I was not involved.

You were not aware, right!

I mean, could it be that some individual in the company...

...just overreached himself?

He sent these things to Earth as a kind of insurance policy...

...in case the merger talks broke down.

But I wouldn't like this sort of rumors to be circulating...

...during the first crucial days of my administration...

...or ever!

No problem.

Now... just so happens there's a new rig ready to take off...

...and it's waiting for you there on gantry F.

What did you think you could do? Buy us like a tuna for sandwich?

I've also arranged to have your mother's hospital bill taken care of.

Now hold on a second...

And for your other troubles...

...maybe this will compensate to some small degree.

We didn't do what we did for money...

...and money doesn't fix anything, alright?

You have our cooperation and our silence, sir.

Oh good. Good!

Well, I must run.

Remember now, hush-hush!

Yes, sir.

Thanks... for everything.

- Mr. Independent. - What was that about?

- You're gonna keep this? - No, we're not gonna keep it!

We don't want no part of that money.

You know, you guys could really use that money.

Getting married and all.

Hey, we don't want that kind of money!

You two don't get it, do you?

If you don't take this money...

...and shut up about what happened...

...they're gonna come after you, and you'll disappear.

Now you got to take it!

We got to take the money!

We got to take this...

...and become company butt boys for the rest of our lives, yeah?

I want to make sure that you understand the facts.

You gonna take it, John?

- Are you gonna take it? - No!

But I don't want you to end up like me!

God forbid.

Somebody fragged Saggs.

You know, I think it was us!

Oh, my god.

We better get out of here.

- Yeah. - Come on.

Too bad Saggs blew himself up.

Never got to thank him for the new rig.

Alright, here we go.

I've never done this before.

Any chance I'll lose my lunch?

You'll be fine.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

We have booster ignition!

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