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Soon it will be spring again.
Grass sprouting.
Then comes summer,
tall grass,
SUD.
Then comes autumn,
leaves dropping;
and then
winter.
Spring
summer
autumn
winter!
There are situations of course
that leave you utterly speechless.
All you can do is hint at things.
Words, too, can't do more
than just evoke things.
That's where dance comes in again.
Pina was a painter.
She consistently questioned us.
That's how we became the paint,
to color her images.
For example she'd ask for
โthe moonโ?
I depicted the word with my body
so that she could see and feel it.
I danced in โCafรฉ Mullerโ myself.
We all have our eyes closed.
When we did a reprise,
I couldn't get the feeling back,
a feeling that mattered so much to me.
All of a sudden I noticed
that it makes a big difference,
behind closed lids,
whether I look down, or like this!
That made all the difference!
The right feeling was there immediately.
Unbelievable how crucial that is!
The tiniest detail matters!
It's all a language
that you can learn to read.
We developed the piece
in two weeks, Dominique!
The speed was unbelievable!
Amazing how the idea materialized...
from just a table and four chairs.
Typical Pina! I remember.
Then BANG, chairs! - Exactly.
Then BANG! Rolf played with the chairs,
and they became integral to the piece.
So beautiful!
1,2...7,8,10. I'm coming!
Kazuo Ohno also left us
not too long ago.
I imagine him and Pina up there
dancing together...
leaping from one cloud to another.
Pina had the most penetrating eyes!
No one has ever read me that way.
Everything I tried or pretended to be
disappeared under her gaze.
Instead, she saw something
I was afraid of
as I didn't know it yet.
Who was Pina?
She combined fragility and strength.
She was also capable of
endlessly listening and watching,
and overcoming all her limits.
So I imagine her like a house
with a huge attic full of treasures.
Pina wasn't going to dance.
You always forgot your moves.
We refused to do it without her!
She got involved because you insisted...
...to show me the moves? Come off it!
But it's true!
I insisted that she dance!
That was the only way for people
to see her on stage!
I never wanted to dance โCafe Muller.โ
When Pina asked me to dance her part
I said yes.
But I never really learned it.
I wanted her to dance forever.
I saw her do โCafรฉ Mullerโ so often.
I wanted to sense what she was feeling.
She moved
as if she had a hole in her tummy,
as if she'd risen from the dead.
When I'm on stage today,
I try to imagine Pina
in her pain,
but also in her strength
and her loneliness.
How often
did I dance โCafรฉ Mullerโ with Pina,
and see her hair, back, arms,
knew, with my eyes shut,
that she was aware of us all!
She saw everything,
even with closed eyes!
We danced and laughed all the time.
We were always together
until four o'clock at night
to devise something for the next day.
That was at the beginning of the company.
We'd meet at Barmen station
every morning
for coffee and a sandwich
and go over the day's work.
You always felt more than just human
working with Pina.
It was good
being an older dancer with Pina!
Well, the younger years were good, too.
I was 24 when I came to Wuppertal.
But at 40, more and more,
I thought
All this space, all these opportunities!
Pina's eyes turn everything we do
into something even more beautiful.
To be old and a child at the same time.
After an awful rehearsal of โIphigenieโ
Pina didn't say a word to me.
Before the performance,
she came and said as usual,
โLuetzchen, be good!โ
And I replied as always,
โPinchen, enjoy!โ
She left, turned at the door, and said,
โDon't forget, you have to scare me!โ
Right away my head started to spin.
That was more to the point than talking for hours.
New in the company, I didn't yet grasp,
how Pina worked.
And she didn't explain it.
I was lost.
Until I realized
I had to pull myself up by my own hair.
This is veal!
What is honesty?
What's our responsibility
even when we dance?
Pina taught us
to stand for what we do
for every gesture,
every step and every move.
Pina always wanted to bring out
the best in all her dancers.
Once she told me,
โYour fragility
is also your strength!โ
For โFull Moonโ
she requested a gesture related to โjoyโ
or to the pleasure of moving.
The question really inspired me.
From the movement I presented,
she created an entire scene.
I was always in a corner
or hiding behind someone,
when she was giving corrections.
Perhaps because I respected her so much.
Once she caught me.
She asked me with a sad voice,
โDitta, why are you so afraid of me?
I didn't do anything.โ
She was right.
And I gradually lost my shyness.
Sometimes she said things like,
โGo on searching!โ
But that was all she said.
It meant you had to keep searching
without knowing where to look,
nor whether you were on the right track.
Pina, I still haven't dreamed about you!
Please visit me in my dreams.
I got news from Daphnis,
who dreams of you all the time.
It's not the same.
It would be nice if you showed up!
I'm waiting, Pina.
Pina left us so quickly,
so surprisingly.
I think that in the end
she left everything behind
and was free.
That's why I wanted to give her
this moment of lightness,
this feeling of weightlessness.
As the daughter of Dominique and Malou
I was the first child in the company.
I grew up inside the โTanztheater.โ
Life without Pina?
I just don't know what it is.
When I was new in Wuppertal
and confused about a few things
she simply said:
For Pina,
the elements were very important.
Whether sand or soil,
stones or water...
Somehow, even
icebergs and rocks appeared on stage.
When we dance, they become...
obstacles.
You have to go against or through them,
or climb over them...
Pina was a radical explorer.
She looked deep into our souls.
There was one particular subject she kept asking us about:
What are we longing for?
Where does all this yearning come from?
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