Original subtitles

>> MM, HI.

>> TODD, WE NEED TO TALK.

>> HEY, LOOK, A CUTE, LITTLE

PUPPY DOGGY!

>> I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

>> IT'S OKAY, LURLENE.

I FOUND YOUR PUNCH CARD.

I KNOW THEY'RE FAKE.

>> YES, BUT NO.

>> YOU SLEPT WITH THE FOOTBALL

TEAM AGAIN?

IT'S OKAY.

>> YES, BUT NO.

I'VE MET SOMEONE ELSE.

YOU'RE JUST TOO...NICE.

I WANT A BAD BOY.

>> HEY!

>> [ GASPS ]

>> LET ME IN!

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

>> YOU MUST BE LURLENE'S BAD

BOY.

HI!

>> HEY, THOSE ARE FAKE!

YOU'RE DISGUSTING!

>> I DON'T KNOW THIS GUY!

>> BYE!

IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU!

>> NO! NO!

AGH! AAH!

>> Tommy: MR. PICKLES!

>> * MR. PICKLES

* GOOD BOY

* HE'S A DOG

* PEOPLE'S BEST FRIEND

DIE!

* PICKLES

>> Tommy: MR. PICKLES!

>> * HERE HE COMES FOR YOU

>> Tommy: THERE YOU ARE!

GOOD BOY!

HMM, THIS MILK TASTES FUNNY.

>> Beverly: WELL, TOMMY, OUR

COW, BETTY, IS PREGNANT, SO

RIGHT NOW, WE'RE DRINKING SOY

MILK.

>> Stanley: UGH!

I'VE READ THAT SOY HAS ESTROGEN

IN IT.

>> Tommy: WHAT'S THAT?

>> Stanley: WELL, IT'S WHAT

MAKES A LADY A LADY.

>> Beverly: A LITTLE SOY MILK

ISN'T GOING TO TURN ANYBODY INTO

A LADY OVERNIGHT.

>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ]

>> Beverly: OH! [ LAUGHS ]

MR. PICKLES.

DAD?

>> I'M MRS. MILTON.

MY SUZIE AND I FOUND THIS ONE

SLEEPING ON OUR FARM THIS

MORNING.

>> Tommy: [ SIGHS ]

>> Beverly: DAD, YOU LOST YOUR

SHOE AGAIN?

>> Grandpa: BUT MR. PICKLES DID

THIS TO ME!

LAST NIGHT, I SAW MR. PICKLES

HUFFING GAS, THEN GETTING INTO

THE TRUCK.

HEY!

NEXT THING I KNOW, I WOKE UP IN

A CRIB NEXT TO A BABY MAN AT ONE

OF MR. PICKLES' FETISH PARTIES.

A HORSE MAN WHIPPING A PIG LADY

STARTING GRABBING MY NIPPLES.

THEN A ROBED MAN POPPED OUT OF A

CAKE.

>> SHOW US YOUR FACE!

>> Grandpa: BUT IT WAS

MR. PICKLES IN A DOCTOR'S MASK.

HE STARTED CUTTING PEOPLE UP

WITH A CHAIN SAW!

>> NO! NOOO!

>> Grandpa: HE PUT HUMAN HEADS

ON HIS PAWS AND STARTED DANCING,

THEN HE PUT ME IN A TRUCK WITH A

BUNCH OF BODY PARTS AND DROVE ME

TO THE MILTON'S FARM WHERE HE

STOLE MY SHOE!

HEY!

AND THAT'S HOW I LOST MY SHOE.

>> Beverly: YOU AND YOUR CRAZY

STORIES.

>> ANYWAY, BYE NOW.

>> Beverly: PLEASE STOP BY

ANYTIME!

>> Tommy: DAD, WHAT DO YOU DO

WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE?

>> Stanley: UGH, TOMMY,

NOWADAYS, LOVE IS COMPLICATED,

BUT WHEN YOU REALLY LOVE

SOMEONE, JUST TELL THEM HOW YOU

FEEL.

WELL, I'M OFF TO WORK. BYE!

>> Tommy: DAD'S RIGHT!

I'M GONNA TELL SUZIE I LOVE HER!

COME ON, MR. PICKLES!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]

>> Tommy: LET'S FIND SUZIE'S

FARM!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKING ]

>> Tommy: WHEE!

HI!

I'M TOMMY, AND THIS IS

MR. PICKLES!

[ COW MOOS ]

[ SQUIRT! ]

>> OOPS. SORRY ABOUT THAT.

>> Tommy: THAT'S OKAY.

AT LEAST IT'S NOT SOY MILK.

>> I'M SUZIE, AND THIS IS

GERTIE.

SHE'S OLD, AND HER MILK'S GOING

BAD.

[ SQUIRT! ]

OOPS!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]

[ GROWLING DEMONICALLY ]

>> Tommy: SUZIE, I WANTED TO

TELL YOU SOMETHING.

I LOVE YOU.

>> LOOK, TOMMY, SINCE MY PA

STARTING DRINKING AGAIN, I GOT

TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE --

MILK THE COW, FEED THE PIGS,

EVEN PAY THE BILLS.

COME BACK WHEN YOU GOT A JOB.

[ COW COUGHS ]

>> Tommy: OKAY!

COME ON, MR. PICKLES!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]

>> Stanley: * LA-LA LA LA LA LA

LA *

* AND A LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

>> AAH!

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

AGH, HE HIT ME!

HE HIT WANDA!

>> Stanley: H-HEY, NO, I DID

NOT.

A-ARE YOU OKAY?

>> AT LEAST TAKE ME TO MOTEL

WHERE WANDA LIVE.

>> Stanley: [ GRUNTS ]

LISTEN, I'M SORRY, BUT I REALLY

HAVE TO GET TO WORK.

>> HELP! HE HURT ME!

>> Stanley: [ SIGHS ]

>> [ GIGGLES ]

WANDA MAKE A FRIEND!

[ GIGGLES ]

>> Tommy: WELL, MR. PICKLES, I

GUESS NOBODY WILL GIVE ME A JOB.

>> JOBS!

GET YOUR JOBS HERE!

>> Tommy: I NEED A JOB.

>> YOU THERE, STEP RIGHT UP!

>> Tommy: BUT I'M OVER HERE.

>> [ Laughing ] WELL, OF COURSE

YOU ARE!

RIGHT THIS WAY.

[ HORSE SNORTS ]

SORRY FOR THE MESS.

I-I-I'VE LOST MY SPECTACLES.

SO, WHAT KIND OF JOB ARE YOU

AFTER?

>> Tommy: I NEED A JOB THAT WILL

HELP ME PAY BILLS

'CAUSE SUZIE --

>> SAY NO MORE!

[ Laughing ] I KNOW JUST THE JOB

YOU NEED, LITTLE LADY.

>> Tommy: HUH?! [ SIGHS ]

WHAT HAPPENED?

>> NOW, IT'S OFF TO

JIGGLY WIGGLIES WITH YOU!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ WHIMPERING ]

>> JUST GO THERE, AND SOON

YOU'LL BE ABLE TO PAY ALL YOUR

BILLS, INCLUDING THIS ONE FOR

$20,000!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ GROWLS ]

>> Tommy: COME ON, MR. PICKLES!

>> OH, AND HERE!

FIVE MORE VISITS, AND YOUR NEXT

JOB IS FREE!

>> [ HUMMING ]

>> Beverly: LINDA!

WHAT ARE YOU SELLING TODAY?

>> UH, UH, UH, H-HOW ABOUT THIS

SHAKE-A-BABY, HUH?!

>> Beverly: A SHAKE-A-BABY?

>> IT TELL YOU THE TRUTH!

SHAKE-A-BABY, DO BIRDS FLY?

[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

MM, NO!

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

UH, SEE, THAT IS TRUE!

BIRDS DON'T FLY!

I'LL SELL IT TO YOU FOR $2!

THAT'S PRETTY CHEAP FOR A

SHAKE-A-BABY NOW!

[ BETTY MOOS ]

>> Grandpa: WHAT IS IT, GIRL?

IS IT TIME FOR THE BIRTH?

DON'T WORRY.

I'VE BEEN TAKING LA-MOO'S

CLASSES.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, BETTY, WE HAVE SOME FUN.

[ BETTY MOOS ANGRILY ]

OKAY, OKAY, I'M READY!

HERE IT COMES!

IT'S A...

[ BETTY MOOS ]

IT'S A -- MY SHOE!

MR. PICKLES PUT MY SHOE IN --

[ BETTY MOOS ]

HEY! GET BACK HERE, BETTY!

>> Tommy: [ HUMMING ]

HIYA, THERE!

>> SALUTATIONS, YOUNG TOMMY!

HOW YOU DOING TO-- DAMN, TOMMY!

>> Tommy: HI, MR. BOJENKINS!

DO YOU KNOW WHERE

JIGGLY WIGGLIES IS?!

>> WAIT, DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW

ABOUT YOUR, UH -- HMM.

>> Tommy: THANKS! BYE!

>> UH, THAT WAS NOT GOOD, BUT

DAMN, THAT BOY GOT SOME BIG OL'

JIGGLY WIGGLIES!

[ LAUGHS ] OH.

[ REINS SNAP ]

>> ALL RIGHT, NOW GET OUT THERE

AND SHOW THEM YOUR TALENTS!

>> Tommy: HUH?!

>> BOT OF THEM! GO!

>> Tommy: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

SIR, YOU DROPPED THIS!

HERE YOU GO!

>> YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB.

JUST KEEP MOVING LIKE US!

>> Tommy: OKAY, LIKE THIS?

>> [ Chanting ] BOOBS! BOOBS!

BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS!

BOOBS! BOOBS!

>> Tommy: WHOA, WHOA!

OHH!

>> WELL, HELL-O!

[ LAUGHS ]

>> Mr. Pickles: [ WHIMPERING ]

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ WHIMPERS ]

>> * PICKLES

>> Mr. Pickles: [ GROWLING

DEMONICALLY ]

[ HORSE SNORTS ]

[ PANTING ]

>> Stanley: AH, DONE.

WELL, I GUESS I SHOULD GET TO

WORK NOW.

>> OH, NOBODY WANT TO BE MY

FRIEND!

>> Stanley: UH, I --

>> AGH, HELP ME!

PLEASE, YOU STAY!

>> Stanley: BUT I'M LATE FOR

WORK.

GOODBYE!

>> BUT IF YOU DON'T STAY AND

WATCH TV SHOW TOGETHER, I TELL

THEM YOU RAPED ME.

>> Stanley: WHAT?!

>> HELP, HE RAPED ME!

>> Stanley: HEY, SHH, SHH, SHH!

LISTEN, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> SIR, THE PRINCE OF SATURN HAS

BEEN MURDERED!

>> SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR

ASTRONAUT DOLPHIN DETECTIVE.

>> BUT, SIR,

ASTRONAUT DOLPHIN DETECTIVE WAS

ARRESTED AFTER THAT SPACE

GOBLIN TOLD YOU HE RAPED HER!

>> GET HIM OUT!

[ DOLPHIN SQUEAKING ]

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> Stanley: [ SIGHS ]

>> Tommy: AND THAT'S WHY BLUE'S

MY FAVORITE COLOR!

>> [ Slurring ] OH, YOU'RE SO

INTERESTING!

SAY, DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT

FIRST SIGHT?!

>> Tommy: I SURE DO!

I'M IN LOVE NOW!

>> ME TOO!

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA!

DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?!

>> Tommy: THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!

>> [ LAUGHS ]

I JUST GOT TO BREAK THIS TO MY

WIFE!

WELL, THEN YOU CAN COME HOME AND

MEET MY SUZIE!

>> Tommy: YOU KNOW SUZIE?!

>> [ BURPS ]

>> NOW THAT TODD'S OUT, WE CAN

BE TOGETHER.

>> YEAH, WHATEVER.

YOU STILL GOT TO LOSE THOSE

5 POUNDS.

>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]

>> WHO'S TOO NICE NOW?

DIE, YOU CHEATING -- HOLY

SMOKES!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]

>> HUH?

UH, CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE LET ME

OUT?

>> Mr. Pickles: [ WHIMPERING ]

>> HEY, LOOK, A CUTE, LITTLE

PUPPY DOGGY!

>> DO I WISH MISS GOODMAN WOULD

BUY THIS SHAKE-A-BABY FOR $2?

[ SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY ]

NO?!

IT REALLY WORKS 'CAUSE I WAS

WISHING YOU WOULD BUY IT FOR $3,

MISS GOODMAN!

MM-HMM!

>> Beverly: MRS. MILTON, BACK SO

S-- OH!

>> CAN YOU BELIEVE MY NO-GOOD

DRUNK OF A HUSBAND IS LEAVING ME

FOR SOME STRIPPER SKANK?!

>> Beverly: OH, DEAR!

>> ALL MEN ARE CHEATERS!

>> Beverly: NO, NOT MY STANLEY!

>> [ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

>> LINDA, I DON'T WANT THE BABY!

IT'S ALWAYS WRONG!

>> SHAKE-A-BABY, DO I HAVE 10

FINGERS?!

[ SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY ]

HMM, NO? SEE, THAT IS TRUE!

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

AAH!

>> Beverly: GOODMAN RESIDENCE.

>> IS MR. GOODMAN COMING IN

TODAY?

I WANT TO SHOW HIM MY ARMY FORT.

[ MUNCHES ] OKAY, BYE!

>> TELL GOODMAN UNDER THERE TO

GET TO WORK!

>> Beverly: STANLEY NEVER MADE

IT IN TO WORK.

>> HE'S CHEATING ON YOU!

>> IS MR. GOODMAN CHEATING ON

MISS GOODMAN?!

>> Beverly: LINDA, PLEASE, IT'S

ALWAYS WRONG!

>> [ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

OH!

>> Beverly: I THINK WE'D BETTER

GO FIND MY HUSBAND.

STOP, THERE'S HIS TRUCK OVER

THERE!

>> ASTRONAUT DOLPHIN DETECTIVE

SAYS THE SPACE GOBLIN KILLED

THE SPACE PRINCE!

>> [ MOANING ]

>> WAIT, WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?!

>> ASTRONAUT DOLPHIN DETECTIVE

HAS FALLEN IN LOVE.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE'D

DOUBLE-CROSS US!

>> Stanley: [ SIGHS ]

RIDICULOUS! NOW I'M LEAVING!

>> BUT IF YOU NO STAY, I TELL

THEM YOU RAPE ME!

[ GIGGLES ]

>> Stanley: I WOULD NEVER TOUCH

ANOTHER WOMAN!

>> AGH, HELP ME!

>> Stanley: [ SIGHS ]

[ GRUNTS ]

>> Beverly: STANLEY GOODMAN, HOW

COULD YOU!

>> Stanley: AH, BEVERLY!

>> Beverly: GET ME OUT OF HERE!

>> HEY!

>> WHOO-HOO-HOO!

>> THERE GOES MY CHEATING

HUSBAND WITH THAT SKANK!

>> Stanley: BEVERLY, WAIT A

MINUTE!

>> DRINK YOUR TEA, ABIGAIL.

OH, ABIGAIL, PRETTY SOON, YOU'LL

BE GOING OFF TO COLLEGE.

>> HEY, OUT OF MY WAY, MAN!

>> SPEEDERS!

>> GET BACK HERE, YOU CHEATING

DRUNK!

>> Stanley: BEVERLY!

>> SLOW DOWN!

>> OH, ABIGAIL, WATCH OUT!

>> Grandpa: GET HER!

[ BETTY MOOS ]

MR. PICKLES PUT MY SHOE IN THAT

COW'S LADY PARTS!

>> NOT NOW, GRANDPA!

[ IMITATING SIREN WAILING ]

>> Grandpa: OH, NO!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ PANTING ]

>> Tommy: SUZIE! I GOT A JOB!

WILL YOU MARRY --

>> MEET YOUR NEW MOTHER!

>> I HATE YOU!

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!

>> I'M GONNA GUT YOU LIKE A HOG,

YOU SKANK!

>> Beverly: HEY, THAT SKANK IS

MY SON!

>> Stanley: BEVERLY!

>> CARRY ME, OR I TELL THEM YOU

RAPE ME!

>> Tommy: HI, DAD!

>> Stanley: TOMMY?!

>> Tommy: I'M GETTING MARRIED TO

SUZIE!

>> YOU CHEATING SKANK!

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MARRY ME!

>> Stanley: HEY, DON'T YOU EVER

TOUCH MY SON AGAIN!

>> Beverly: STANLEY, YOU'RE OUT

OF CONTROL!

DID YOU FORCE YOUR LOVE ON THIS

WOMAN?!

>> HE NO RAPE ME, BUT IF YOU

DON'T RAPE ME, I TELL THEM YOU

RAPE ME!

>> [ IMITATING SIREN WAILING ]

EVERYBODY SLOW DOWN!

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

NOW, WHAT DID I MISS?

[ ALL SIGH ]

>> [ CRIES ] OH, NO!

GERT HAS PASSED ON!

[ ALL SIGHS ]

[ BETTY MOOS ]

>> Tommy: LOOK, EVERYBODY!

BETTY CAME TO TELL US THAT HER

BABY'S COMING!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ]

>> Tommy: I THINK YOU SHOULD

HAVE IT, SUZIE.

>> AWW!

>> AWW, LOOK, THEY RAPE EACH

OTHER!

>> [ COUGHS ]

>> OOPS!

>> Tommy: LOOK, BETTY MUST BE

HAVING TWINS!

[ BETTY MOOS ]

>> GET OUT OF THERE!

>> Grandpa: IT WAS MR. PICKLES!

>> Beverly: NOW, WHO WANTS REAL

MILK WITH THEIR STEAK?

>> Tommy: I DO!

GERTIE SURE IS TASTY!

>> Grandpa: I DON'T EVER WANT TO

SEE THE INSIDE OF A COW AGAIN!

>> Tommy: SHAKE-A-BABY, DOES

SUZIE LOVE ME?

[ GRUNTS ]

RECHARGE?

OH, MAYBE THE BABY NEEDS SOME

MILK!

>> Stanley: TOMMY, NO!

>> Tommy: HUH?

>> Stanley: UM, HOW DID YOU, YOU

KNOW, UH --

>> Tommy: YOU WERE RIGHT, DAD!

LOVE SURE IS COMPLICATED.

>> Beverly: AND LOOK AT WHAT THE

ESTROGEN FROM THAT SOY MILK DID

TO OUR SON.

WE'LL GET YOU TO THE DOCTOR IN

THE MORNING, TOMMY.

>> Stanley: JUDGING BY THE WAY

MR. PICKLES DELIVERED BETTY'S

CALF, SEEMS WE ALREADY HAVE A

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ]

>> Tommy: GOOD BOY, DR. PICKLES!

>> Mr. Pickles: [ BARKS ]

>> HUH?!

THERE ARE MY SPECTACLES!

HUH?!

[ OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING ]

NO!

>> [ High-pitched voice ] MAMA,

MAMA! BABY WANT MILKY!

[ Low-pitched voice ] BABY WANT

MILKY! MILKY, MILKY!

[ High-pitched voice ] MILKY!

>> * MR. PICKLES

* GOOD BOY KLES *

* HE'S A DOG

* PEOPLE'S BEST FRIEND

DIE!

* PICKLES