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1
00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:33,827
Ah, the Heckler & Koch G36.
2
00:01:33,911 --> 00:01:36,246
Quite deadly in the right hands.
3
00:01:58,853 --> 00:02:01,563
Ah! Agent One.
4
00:02:03,316 --> 00:02:06,109
I have been so looking forward
to this moment.
5
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:11,031
Well, in that case, I'll try not to disappoint.
6
00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:16,411
You overestimate your power
over women, Mr English.
7
00:02:18,039 --> 00:02:20,624
I'd say that would be virtually impossible.
8
00:02:34,096 --> 00:02:37,682
Sir? Sir?
9
00:02:39,268 --> 00:02:40,852
- Sir!
10
00:02:40,937 --> 00:02:42,229
- Have you got them?
- Hmm?
11
00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:44,564
The mission documents.
Agent One's flying to Biarritz tonight.
12
00:02:44,649 --> 00:02:47,234
Yes, yes, the mission documents.
They're here somewhere. Don't worry.
13
00:02:47,610 --> 00:02:49,402
Ah! Here we are.
14
00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:55,242
Agent One.
15
00:02:56,327 --> 00:02:57,661
Gentlemen.
16
00:03:03,501 --> 00:03:04,501
I'm here for my documents.
17
00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:08,880
Bough, Agent One's documents, please.
18
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,469
- Thank you.
19
00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:16,096
Your mission documents, Agent One.
20
00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:19,849
Including the codes for the submarine hatch,
which I've checked myself.
21
00:03:22,687 --> 00:03:25,188
- Thank you.
- So, is it just France tonight,
22
00:03:25,273 --> 00:03:28,817
or will you be slipping
over the Pyrenees as well?
23
00:03:29,819 --> 00:03:33,071
If I told you that,
I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
24
00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:35,740
Oh!
25
00:03:37,660 --> 00:03:41,871
Oh, yes, yes.
Well, I expect you would.
26
00:03:42,873 --> 00:03:44,791
Cheerio, Agent One.
27
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,376
Bonne chance!
28
00:03:46,877 --> 00:03:48,128
Arrivederci.
29
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:54,050
Such class. Such distinction.
30
00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:08,606
The greatest secret agent England's
ever had, snuffed out in an instant.
31
00:04:08,691 --> 00:04:10,233
Terrible.
32
00:04:11,694 --> 00:04:15,155
Do you know what makes us envied
the world over, Bough?
33
00:04:15,239 --> 00:04:18,575
That there's always another agent waiting
to step into the breach.
34
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:19,701
Absolutely, sir.
35
00:04:19,785 --> 00:04:22,746
And every last one
of them is gathered round that grave.
36
00:04:23,372 --> 00:04:27,375
It is our honour and privilege
to guard them while they grieve.
37
00:04:28,377 --> 00:04:30,503
Their lives are in our hands, Bough.
38
00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:43,725
Everything in order, English?
39
00:04:44,477 --> 00:04:47,103
I think you'll find it's rather more than just
in order, sir.
40
00:04:47,605 --> 00:04:51,274
You're now entering the most secure location
in the whole of England.
41
00:04:59,617 --> 00:05:01,951
Pegasus, we face a national crisis.
42
00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:05,413
Agent One was clearly onto something,
and we have to find out what.
43
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,124
I need another agent on this immediately.
Who else is there?
44
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:12,504
No one, Prime Minister.
They all died in the explosion.
45
00:05:13,297 --> 00:05:14,631
All of them?
46
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,675
Well, luckily there is one who survived.
47
00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:19,302
Who?
48
00:05:20,012 --> 00:05:23,807
One eye on the shadows
Protecting his fellows
49
00:05:24,183 --> 00:05:25,266
From sunup to the moon on his back
50
00:05:27,353 --> 00:05:29,687
Sendin' villains to Hades
A hit with the ladies
51
00:05:29,772 --> 00:05:31,147
Johnny. Hello.
52
00:05:31,649 --> 00:05:34,526
A stallion in the sack
53
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,862
You can't get your life back
when right follows left, jack
54
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,242
The more you see, the less you know
55
00:05:43,327 --> 00:05:47,288
When others would leak it
His service is secret
56
00:05:47,373 --> 00:05:50,375
Plays God when it's your time to go
57
00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:54,337
Hey, fellas
Don't be jealous
58
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,757
When they made him, they broke the mould
59
00:05:57,842 --> 00:06:01,970
So charismatic
With an automatic
60
00:06:02,054 --> 00:06:05,765
Never prematurely shooting his load
61
00:06:07,518 --> 00:06:11,187
Queen and country safe and sound
With villains six feet underground
62
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:14,274
And no one knows
'cause no one's found any trace
63
00:06:14,358 --> 00:06:19,028
Of a man for all seasons
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
64
00:06:19,864 --> 00:06:21,990
So alone
65
00:06:22,825 --> 00:06:26,786
And you and I wouldn't have a clue
Who's doin' what, why, when and who
66
00:06:26,871 --> 00:06:28,621
Up a creek with no canoe
67
00:06:28,706 --> 00:06:32,041
Watch out for the man for all seasons
68
00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:35,003
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
69
00:06:35,087 --> 00:06:40,884
So alone
But safe at home
70
00:06:43,596 --> 00:06:45,096
Yeah, yeah
71
00:06:46,223 --> 00:06:49,601
But safe at home
But safe at home
72
00:06:53,898 --> 00:06:57,817
And you and I wouldn't have a clue
Who's doin' what, why, when and who
73
00:06:57,902 --> 00:06:59,652
Up a creek with no canoe
74
00:06:59,737 --> 00:07:03,031
Watch out for the man for all seasons
75
00:07:03,115 --> 00:07:06,075
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
76
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:11,915
So alone
But safe at home
77
00:07:14,210 --> 00:07:15,793
Right.
78
00:07:16,587 --> 00:07:18,838
Johnny English. I'm here to see Pegasus.
79
00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:22,967
Still, no sense rushing things.
80
00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:28,139
There are some items you need
to sign before your briefing.
81
00:07:28,599 --> 00:07:30,934
This is your new retinal ID card,
82
00:07:31,936 --> 00:07:34,854
- and this is your level nine security clearance.
- Mmm-hmm.
83
00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:36,314
Sign and date, please.
84
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,734
Ah!
85
00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:44,280
Oh, reminds me
of the old service-issue ballpoint.
86
00:07:44,907 --> 00:07:48,117
I remember every agent would carry a pen
that looked just like this.
87
00:07:48,285 --> 00:07:51,704
Completely innocent to the untrained eye,
but click it twice...
88
00:07:55,251 --> 00:07:57,418
Ah, English, there you are.
89
00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:00,463
Have you seen my secretary?
90
00:08:00,965 --> 00:08:02,048
Um...
91
00:08:03,425 --> 00:08:04,467
She went out.
92
00:08:05,636 --> 00:08:06,761
Um...
93
00:08:08,806 --> 00:08:09,806
Shall we?
94
00:08:12,601 --> 00:08:13,768
Now, Agent One believed
95
00:08:13,852 --> 00:08:16,854
that there was a plot
to steal the Crown Jewels.
96
00:08:16,939 --> 00:08:19,607
Now, they've recently been
through a multimillion-pound restoration,
97
00:08:19,692 --> 00:08:21,859
largely paid for
by a corporate sponsor, of course.
98
00:08:21,944 --> 00:08:24,320
And they're due to be unveiled tonight
at the Tower of London.
99
00:08:24,947 --> 00:08:28,199
Unfortunately, the Queen is insisting
that the ceremony goes ahead,
100
00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:29,701
so what we want you to...
101
00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:34,789
Ha!
102
00:08:34,873 --> 00:08:36,916
Who... Who...
103
00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:39,419
Who is the sponsor, sir?
104
00:08:39,878 --> 00:08:41,671
Pascal Sauvage.
105
00:08:42,131 --> 00:08:45,091
What, that flouncy Frenchman
who owns a couple of prisons?
106
00:08:45,676 --> 00:08:48,469
Sauvage's ÂŁ7-billion empire, English,
107
00:08:48,554 --> 00:08:51,347
operates over 400 prisons in 60 countries.
108
00:08:51,682 --> 00:08:53,808
- He's built 25 of them here.
- Right, sir.
109
00:08:53,892 --> 00:08:56,603
The man's related to the royal family,
for goodness' sake.
110
00:08:56,854 --> 00:08:58,521
As far as the prime minister's concerned,
111
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,648
he's one
of the greatest friends England's got.
112
00:09:02,401 --> 00:09:06,070
Now, English, I want you
at the Tower tonight,
113
00:09:06,155 --> 00:09:08,031
monitoring this unveiling.
114
00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:10,617
Any chink in security, any weakness,
115
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:13,620
however slight,
must be plugged immediately.
116
00:09:14,580 --> 00:09:16,414
Do we understand each other?
117
00:09:16,999 --> 00:09:18,791
- Perfectly, sir.
- Good.
118
00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:21,919
- Oh, yes.
- And, English,
119
00:09:22,004 --> 00:09:25,381
we can't afford any mistakes. Not tonight.
120
00:09:25,924 --> 00:09:29,677
The word "mistake," sir,
is not one that appears in my dictionary.
121
00:09:36,226 --> 00:09:37,810
Fantastic car, sir!
122
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:52,533
Mr English, Colonel Sir Anthony Chevenix,
head of royal security.
123
00:09:52,618 --> 00:09:54,369
Ah, Colonel, good evening.
124
00:09:54,453 --> 00:09:56,663
Snipers posted on the roof
as per my request?
125
00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:58,331
- Thirteen of them.
- Windows?
126
00:09:58,415 --> 00:10:01,084
Refitted with bullet- and shatter-proof glass,
as ordered.
127
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:07,423
I shall now mingle inconspicuously
with the guests.
128
00:10:07,966 --> 00:10:10,718
- Let me know when Her Majesty arrives.
- Very good.
129
00:10:11,637 --> 00:10:13,346
Shall I mingle with you, sir?
130
00:10:13,931 --> 00:10:16,974
Oh, yes, Bough.
Once you've checked the roof.
131
00:10:39,957 --> 00:10:42,041
Help! Help!
132
00:10:42,126 --> 00:10:44,043
Well, hello.
133
00:10:46,130 --> 00:10:47,296
Hello, yourself.
134
00:10:47,798 --> 00:10:50,216
Johnny English.
135
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,844
Lorna Campbell.
136
00:10:52,928 --> 00:10:55,179
A Bloody Mary, please, not too spicy.
137
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,934
So, are you here
in some professional capacity?
138
00:11:00,310 --> 00:11:02,145
I worked on the restoration of the Jewels.
139
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,981
- Intriguing.
- And yourself?
140
00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:09,444
If I told you that,
I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
141
00:11:09,987 --> 00:11:11,404
I'd like to see you try.
142
00:11:17,411 --> 00:11:20,747
Monsieur Sauvage, on behalf of Her Majesty,
143
00:11:20,831 --> 00:11:22,832
may I welcome you to the Tower.
144
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,500
Merci, monsieur.
145
00:11:25,335 --> 00:11:27,754
So, are you here alone, Mr English?
146
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,673
That's how I choose
to live my life, Miss Campbell.
147
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:35,845
Women want safety, security.
I can offer them nothing but danger.
148
00:11:36,597 --> 00:11:38,848
Some women find danger very attractive.
149
00:11:39,975 --> 00:11:42,018
Women like you, Miss Campbell?
150
00:11:44,146 --> 00:11:49,025
Women like me expect men like you
to find that out for yourself.
151
00:11:50,319 --> 00:11:51,402
Hmm!
152
00:11:53,197 --> 00:11:55,239
Madame.
153
00:11:55,324 --> 00:11:56,657
Oh, it's for me, actually.
154
00:11:56,742 --> 00:11:57,742
And could you rustle up
155
00:11:57,826 --> 00:12:00,036
some of those cheesy niblets
that are going around?
156
00:12:00,662 --> 00:12:02,371
Now, where were we?
157
00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:05,708
You obviously haven't met our host,
Monsieur Sauvage.
158
00:12:06,043 --> 00:12:08,127
No, thank God.
159
00:12:08,212 --> 00:12:12,715
You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom
impaled on a giant cactus
160
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,551
than exchange pleasantries
with that jumped-up Frenchman.
161
00:12:16,386 --> 00:12:17,470
As far as I'm concerned,
162
00:12:17,554 --> 00:12:20,681
the only thing the French
should be allowed to host is an invasion.
163
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,436
Sorry, can I help?
164
00:12:25,521 --> 00:12:28,981
Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman.
165
00:12:29,066 --> 00:12:32,068
Lorna Campbell.
I've been so looking forward to meeting you.
166
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,152
Enchanté.
167
00:12:34,863 --> 00:12:38,366
But of course! You're Johnny English.
I've heard all about you.
168
00:12:38,450 --> 00:12:42,161
And between you and me,
I'm not so keen on the French myself.
169
00:12:42,246 --> 00:12:44,080
But, please, don't tell them that.
170
00:12:44,623 --> 00:12:47,333
Let me go and search
for your nibbly cheese bits.
171
00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:48,709
No, no, I don't...
172
00:12:48,794 --> 00:12:52,463
Please, I insist.
The French are, after all, fantastic waiters.
173
00:12:52,756 --> 00:12:54,215
- The best in the world.
- Well, but... But...
174
00:12:54,299 --> 00:12:57,301
- Wait here, and I will wait on you.
- No, no, really. There's no...
175
00:12:57,386 --> 00:13:00,304
No, no. Please, please, please, please!
176
00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,726
Les Français.
177
00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:11,482
Ils sont very... N'est-ce pas?
178
00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:30,543
Ladies and gentlemen,
mesdames et messieurs,
179
00:13:30,627 --> 00:13:35,298
bienvenue, welcome tonight
to this wonderful occasion.
180
00:13:35,757 --> 00:13:39,218
As we stand here in the Tower of London,
181
00:13:39,303 --> 00:13:41,512
the most famous prison in the world,
182
00:13:41,597 --> 00:13:46,934
where these wonderful Jewels will rest safely
under lock and key,
183
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:53,065
I want to thank you
for giving me this wonderful experience
184
00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:58,112
to contribute to the restoration
of these Jewels.
185
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:02,825
- It was, as we say in France, le top, le best of.
186
00:14:02,993 --> 00:14:04,452
- And what a beautiful...
187
00:14:26,808 --> 00:14:31,479
It's Colonel Chevenix!
He's got a nasty wound, sir. Who hit him?
188
00:14:32,356 --> 00:14:34,815
The assailant. He ran in here.
189
00:14:36,026 --> 00:14:37,526
Bough, you guard the door.
190
00:14:38,028 --> 00:14:39,111
A-ha!
191
00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:47,453
Oh, for God's sake, Bough, don't come in.
The man's a maniac!
192
00:14:49,998 --> 00:14:51,457
You don't frighten me!
193
00:14:51,541 --> 00:14:52,583
- Missed!
194
00:15:24,741 --> 00:15:26,575
I have managed to subdue the assailant.
195
00:15:27,119 --> 00:15:30,287
The panic's over. Everything's under control.
196
00:15:34,918 --> 00:15:37,169
Thank you. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
197
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:40,464
we should compose ourselves
for the arrival of Her Majesty
198
00:15:40,716 --> 00:15:47,304
and return to the site of our great nation's
magnificently restored Crown Jewels.
199
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:54,353
I know. I feel it, too.
200
00:15:55,022 --> 00:15:57,356
The very symbols of our island nation,
201
00:15:57,441 --> 00:16:01,027
so close we could almost reach out and...
202
00:16:03,113 --> 00:16:05,656
MAN: Pray silence for Her Majesty the Queen.
203
00:16:07,451 --> 00:16:09,452
Oh, where are the Jewels?
204
00:16:10,704 --> 00:16:12,872
It's an unmitigated disaster,
English.
205
00:16:12,956 --> 00:16:14,540
I couldn't agree more, sir.
206
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,627
Well, we need to get these Jewels back,
English, and fast.
207
00:16:22,632 --> 00:16:26,177
Tell me about this assailant,
because when they searched the room later,
208
00:16:26,261 --> 00:16:27,303
there was no sign of him.
209
00:16:27,512 --> 00:16:29,847
Well, the man was clearly a professional.
210
00:16:30,474 --> 00:16:33,642
He must have escaped
while the Queen was being sedated.
211
00:16:33,727 --> 00:16:36,270
But he's the only lead we've got, English.
We have to find him.
212
00:16:36,354 --> 00:16:40,566
Come in. This is...
This is Roger from Data Support.
213
00:16:41,359 --> 00:16:44,528
Please sit down. He'll produce a likeness
based on your description.
214
00:16:45,489 --> 00:16:47,740
So tell us, what did this man look like?
215
00:16:48,325 --> 00:16:49,450
Um...
216
00:16:49,785 --> 00:16:51,368
Well...
217
00:16:51,453 --> 00:16:53,913
He was big.
218
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,247
Hair colour?
219
00:16:56,333 --> 00:16:57,416
Um...
220
00:16:59,544 --> 00:17:00,544
Orange.
221
00:17:00,629 --> 00:17:03,631
- Orange?
- Mmm. And curly.
222
00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:06,884
Well, frizzy, actually. Frizzy sort of thing.
223
00:17:06,968 --> 00:17:10,513
- Frizzy.
- An eye patch.
224
00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:13,933
Broken nose. Very few teeth.
225
00:17:14,351 --> 00:17:15,976
Two, I would say, at the most.
226
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,939
And a scar on his cheek,
227
00:17:20,357 --> 00:17:24,318
in the shape of a banana.
228
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:27,738
Which cheek?
- Both cheeks.
229
00:17:28,532 --> 00:17:30,366
They sort of met in the middle.
230
00:17:39,376 --> 00:17:40,668
Are you sure about this, English?
231
00:17:42,712 --> 00:17:46,298
Yes, that's him.
An uncanny resemblance.
232
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,717
Why, it's just as if he's in the room with us.
233
00:17:56,309 --> 00:18:00,646
Wow! Look at this, sir.
Got all the bells and whistles, doesn't it?
234
00:18:00,772 --> 00:18:03,983
Never mind about the gadgets, Bough.
Just focus on the case.
235
00:18:11,783 --> 00:18:13,075
Oh, uh...
236
00:18:19,916 --> 00:18:23,002
Good morning, gentlemen.
Thank you very much for waiting.
237
00:18:23,086 --> 00:18:27,089
Now, the question that faces us
this morning is a simple one.
238
00:18:27,424 --> 00:18:32,261
Namely, how did the thieves gain access
to this highly secure environment
239
00:18:32,637 --> 00:18:35,097
and then escape with the Jewels afterwards?
240
00:18:35,599 --> 00:18:36,807
A simple question,
241
00:18:36,892 --> 00:18:40,477
but one which I believe
has a complex answer.
242
00:18:40,854 --> 00:18:43,439
- Actually, sir...
- Please, Bough. My mind is at work.
243
00:18:44,107 --> 00:18:47,193
Now, what you must grasp,
gentlemen, is that the master criminal
244
00:18:47,277 --> 00:18:50,946
sees not a room,
but a series of opportunities.
245
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,240
Should I go in through the window?
246
00:18:54,659 --> 00:18:56,035
Possibly.
247
00:18:56,119 --> 00:18:59,872
Should I drop down from the ceiling?
Perhaps.
248
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:01,707
- Actually, sir...
- There's one thing
249
00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:04,460
I think we can be fairly confident about,
250
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,213
and that is that they didn't come up
through the floor...
251
00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:09,381
- I've got you, sir.
252
00:19:10,008 --> 00:19:12,426
Right. That's all right.
Just come my way, Bough.
253
00:19:12,594 --> 00:19:16,472
- That'd bring me right over the hole, sir.
- Bough, there's no need to panic.
254
00:19:20,143 --> 00:19:21,977
Can you see the bottom yet, Bough?
255
00:19:22,103 --> 00:19:25,231
Not yet, sir.
The shaft appears to be narrowing.
256
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:27,816
I'm just a little bit worried I might get stuck.
257
00:19:27,901 --> 00:19:31,695
Trust me, Bough.
You won't get stuck if you just keep moving.
258
00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:33,572
Yes, sir.
259
00:19:37,285 --> 00:19:38,535
Right. Okay, sir.
260
00:19:38,703 --> 00:19:40,496
Are you at the bottom now, Bough?
261
00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:42,790
No, I am in fact stuck now, sir.
262
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,336
Oh, for God's sake, Bough.
Stay there! I'm coming down.
263
00:19:48,505 --> 00:19:51,423
Uh, I'm not especially sure
that's a good idea, sir.
264
00:19:51,508 --> 00:19:52,758
Don't worry.
265
00:19:54,177 --> 00:19:55,594
Careful, sir!
266
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,475
Gently does it.
267
00:20:02,227 --> 00:20:04,687
- Sir?
268
00:20:09,317 --> 00:20:10,442
You all right, sir?
269
00:20:10,527 --> 00:20:12,278
Yes.
I landed on something quite soft.
270
00:20:12,404 --> 00:20:14,655
- That was me, sir.
- Oh, good.
271
00:20:16,741 --> 00:20:17,992
What now?
272
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,995
There's no way back up there,
that's for sure.
273
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:23,080
But this must lead somewhere.
274
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:26,292
I'm ever so slightly uncomfortable
in the dark, sir.
275
00:20:26,376 --> 00:20:27,960
There's nothing
to worry about, Bough.
276
00:20:28,044 --> 00:20:31,547
It may be pitch black, but we can still see.
277
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,756
Can we, sir? How?
278
00:20:32,882 --> 00:20:35,843
The Bedouin monks
of the al-Maghrib mountains
279
00:20:35,927 --> 00:20:38,220
developed a system of sonic chanting.
280
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,556
I see, sir.
- The sound of their chanting
281
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,850
would bounce back off any obstacles,
282
00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:44,310
and using their highly tuned ears,
283
00:20:44,394 --> 00:20:47,396
they could paint a mental picture
of the path ahead.
284
00:20:47,522 --> 00:20:51,066
Brilliant, sir.
- However, you must always sing in E-flat.
285
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:58,574
E-flat, E-flat, E-flat
286
00:20:59,242 --> 00:21:03,704
Thank you for the music
The songs I'm singing
287
00:21:03,788 --> 00:21:05,789
Is it working, sir?
- Extremely well, thank you, Bough.
288
00:21:05,874 --> 00:21:08,208
Thanks for all the joy they're...
289
00:21:08,293 --> 00:21:09,918
- Ow!
290
00:21:10,253 --> 00:21:13,422
You all right, sir?
I think I can see something, sir.
291
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:17,134
Oh, yeah. Shh! Come on.
292
00:21:36,488 --> 00:21:38,322
Here's the long one.
293
00:21:38,948 --> 00:21:40,532
It is a long one.
294
00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:42,326
Careful.
295
00:21:47,457 --> 00:21:49,333
- I knew it.
- Shall we call for backup, sir?
296
00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:53,170
What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby
make our arrest for us?
297
00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:55,381
I don't think so.
298
00:21:58,635 --> 00:22:02,596
Good morning, gentlemen.
Ml7 at your service.
299
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,643
Observe, Bough, the dull incompetence
of the criminal mind.
300
00:22:07,852 --> 00:22:11,021
It can never hope
to match our level of technical expertise.
301
00:23:00,530 --> 00:23:02,906
- You've got it.
- What do we do now, sir?
302
00:23:03,575 --> 00:23:05,033
Watch and learn, Bough.
303
00:23:09,205 --> 00:23:12,624
- It's no good, sir. They're too far ahead of us.
- Have faith, Bough. They're heading south.
304
00:23:22,719 --> 00:23:25,220
- There they are, sir!
- Just as I thought.
305
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:29,766
Hang on tight, Bough.
306
00:23:40,904 --> 00:23:42,279
We're never gonna catch them in this.
307
00:23:42,739 --> 00:23:44,698
Take the wheel, Bough.
I'm getting in the Aston.
308
00:23:44,782 --> 00:23:45,782
Sir?
309
00:23:49,913 --> 00:23:52,498
Change places, Bough.
I'm getting out the other side.
310
00:23:52,582 --> 00:23:53,582
Sir?
311
00:24:15,939 --> 00:24:17,689
Set, Bough. Take me up.
312
00:24:26,282 --> 00:24:27,699
Swing me out, Bough!
313
00:24:33,122 --> 00:24:34,206
Whoa!
314
00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:36,792
Down.
315
00:24:42,131 --> 00:24:43,590
Up! Up!
316
00:24:46,427 --> 00:24:47,719
Sorry!
317
00:24:52,141 --> 00:24:53,600
Bough, pull out!
318
00:24:59,148 --> 00:25:00,357
Ow! Ow!
319
00:25:03,319 --> 00:25:06,154
Those idiots are right behind us. Faster!
320
00:25:29,762 --> 00:25:30,846
Uh-huh!
321
00:25:57,707 --> 00:25:58,874
Drop me here, Bough!
322
00:26:06,382 --> 00:26:08,508
No! No! No!
323
00:26:08,593 --> 00:26:10,218
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
324
00:26:49,092 --> 00:26:51,009
They're turning
into the Brompton Cemetery, Bough.
325
00:26:51,761 --> 00:26:54,596
Get here as soon as you can. I'm going in.
326
00:27:02,522 --> 00:27:03,980
In a wheelchair.
327
00:27:04,065 --> 00:27:07,067
But Geoffrey
overcame these terrible disabilities
328
00:27:07,485 --> 00:27:10,779
with that simple resilience
and sunny optimism
329
00:27:10,863 --> 00:27:13,281
that so warmed all of us who knew him,
330
00:27:14,283 --> 00:27:16,410
spending the rest of his life in the service
331
00:27:16,536 --> 00:27:18,995
of the poor and disabled of this parish.
332
00:27:19,789 --> 00:27:23,750
It's very good. Really very good.
333
00:27:24,460 --> 00:27:26,920
No, no, please. No, go on.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
334
00:27:27,338 --> 00:27:29,381
- It's very entertaining.
- Who's that?
335
00:27:29,465 --> 00:27:31,216
That priest act of yours
336
00:27:31,300 --> 00:27:33,719
should keep the other prisoners entertained
for hours.
337
00:27:34,178 --> 00:27:37,222
Oh, I'm so sorry. Where are my manners?
Johnny English,
338
00:27:37,306 --> 00:27:40,267
British Secret Service,
and you are all under arrest.
339
00:27:41,602 --> 00:27:43,395
I must say,
you've done this whole thing very well.
340
00:27:43,479 --> 00:27:46,273
The attention to detail is excellent.
341
00:27:46,649 --> 00:27:49,985
You, the grieving granny,
you're very convincing.
342
00:27:50,653 --> 00:27:54,448
Oh, look. Real tears.
Do you get paid extra for that?
343
00:27:55,533 --> 00:27:56,616
Ah!
344
00:27:57,326 --> 00:27:58,744
What we're all here for.
345
00:27:58,828 --> 00:28:01,621
I know! Why don't we take a look inside?
346
00:28:02,874 --> 00:28:03,957
Oh!
347
00:28:04,041 --> 00:28:05,500
You've nailed it down!
348
00:28:07,503 --> 00:28:08,879
Why would you do that?
349
00:28:09,589 --> 00:28:12,841
I know you're gonna come back in two weeks
and dig it up again.
350
00:28:17,221 --> 00:28:22,100
Now, what are you playing
in this little vignette of deceit and villainy?
351
00:28:22,477 --> 00:28:23,935
I'm the hearse driver.
352
00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:31,693
- You're the hearse driver?
- Yes, sir.
353
00:28:32,236 --> 00:28:34,112
Ah! A-ha!
354
00:28:35,656 --> 00:28:38,825
There you are, Gunther.
355
00:28:39,202 --> 00:28:42,537
Uh, I do hope he hasn't made a nuisance
of himself.
356
00:28:43,748 --> 00:28:46,249
I'm Doctor...
357
00:28:49,170 --> 00:28:53,131
Bough, of the Lunatic Response Unit.
358
00:28:53,716 --> 00:28:57,511
I'm afraid Gunther here wasn't supposed
to be released until 2028.
359
00:28:57,595 --> 00:28:59,638
- Isn't that right, Gunther?
360
00:29:00,890 --> 00:29:04,851
Yes, yes, there's been
a most monumental cock-up.
361
00:29:05,728 --> 00:29:06,853
Um...
362
00:29:07,230 --> 00:29:11,983
If you'll excuse me,
with the deepest respect, utmost sympathy.
363
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:13,443
Uh...
364
00:29:13,736 --> 00:29:15,570
He hasn't urinated on anyone, has he?
365
00:29:15,905 --> 00:29:17,447
- No.
- No, no.
366
00:29:17,532 --> 00:29:21,868
That's a blessing.
Are you gonna give me the gun, Gunther?
367
00:29:27,917 --> 00:29:29,459
There. That wasn't too difficult, was it?
368
00:29:31,462 --> 00:29:33,421
Are you going to come home now?
369
00:29:41,222 --> 00:29:44,599
Oh! In the van!
Yes, yes, we are going in the van.
370
00:29:44,851 --> 00:29:46,101
Yes, yeah.
371
00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:48,186
- Vroom, vroom!
372
00:29:48,271 --> 00:29:49,437
Yes. Yeah.
373
00:29:52,984 --> 00:29:54,943
Yes. He's waving goodbye.
Goodbye, everyone.
374
00:29:55,194 --> 00:29:57,320
- ALL: Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Gunther.
375
00:29:57,780 --> 00:30:00,448
Mind the nice dead people. There we go.
376
00:30:05,496 --> 00:30:09,666
Oh! We'll just go to the path here.
There. Big step.
377
00:30:10,293 --> 00:30:13,044
It's a graveyard. It's where they bring people
when they pass...
378
00:30:13,129 --> 00:30:15,088
Yes, yes, all right, Bough.
You can stop now.
379
00:30:15,172 --> 00:30:17,257
For appearances' sake,
I'll just hold your arm, sir.
380
00:30:17,341 --> 00:30:19,301
Yes, yes. Just keep walking.
381
00:30:19,719 --> 00:30:21,678
In fact, run, run, run!
382
00:30:28,644 --> 00:30:31,563
I can't believe I've done this.
383
00:30:32,481 --> 00:30:36,818
I mean, I really cannot believe I've done this!
384
00:30:41,449 --> 00:30:43,992
You see, 200 years ago,
385
00:30:44,660 --> 00:30:49,539
my family should have inherited the throne
of England,
386
00:30:50,249 --> 00:30:52,334
but they were cast aside.
387
00:30:53,294 --> 00:30:59,257
Well, in a few very short days,
it will be back where it belongs.
388
00:31:02,303 --> 00:31:03,345
With me.
389
00:31:04,889 --> 00:31:10,477
Shall I try it on? Yes? No? Maybe?
390
00:31:10,853 --> 00:31:14,230
To make you King, we need
the Archbishop of Canterbury to do that.
391
00:31:14,690 --> 00:31:17,150
The Archbishop of Canterbury
392
00:31:17,234 --> 00:31:20,862
is being taken care of even as we speak.
393
00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:37,045
There's only one thing, sir.
What are we going to do about English?
394
00:31:40,049 --> 00:31:43,885
If I were you,
I wouldn't worry too much about English.
395
00:31:43,970 --> 00:31:47,806
He is no threat to us. I had his flat bugged.
396
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:04,364
Ow!
397
00:32:15,251 --> 00:32:18,878
Clearly, the aptly named English is a fool.
398
00:32:19,255 --> 00:32:22,674
He might be a fool,
but he's a fool who keeps showing up.
399
00:32:23,134 --> 00:32:25,885
Well, the next time he shows up,
400
00:32:27,054 --> 00:32:28,763
eliminate him.
401
00:32:29,807 --> 00:32:30,807
Thank you.
402
00:32:30,891 --> 00:32:33,143
Dieter Klein and Klaus Vendetta, sir.
403
00:32:33,269 --> 00:32:37,272
Released from prison six months ago,
327 convictions between them.
404
00:32:37,773 --> 00:32:40,358
Armed robbery, grievous bodily harm
405
00:32:40,443 --> 00:32:42,652
and combined parking fines
of more than 400...
406
00:32:42,737 --> 00:32:45,572
Yes, yes, all right.
Thank you, Bough. I think we get the picture.
407
00:32:46,365 --> 00:32:49,075
The point is, sir, that Vendetta and Klein
408
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,746
are both in the employ of Monsieur Sauvage.
409
00:32:53,330 --> 00:32:55,498
- Pascal Sauvage?
- Precisely, sir.
410
00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:59,002
But you're not suggesting
Sauvage is involved?
411
00:32:59,128 --> 00:33:01,296
I think he's more than just involved, sir.
412
00:33:01,464 --> 00:33:03,715
I'm convinced he's
up to his French neck in it.
413
00:33:03,799 --> 00:33:07,135
Don't be absurd.
Sauvage employs thousands of people.
414
00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:09,387
Just because two of them are villains
doesn't mean that he is.
415
00:33:09,764 --> 00:33:12,891
No, I want him discounted
from this investigation immediately.
416
00:33:13,851 --> 00:33:15,018
Yes, sir.
417
00:33:19,482 --> 00:33:24,069
All right. Tonight I shall be at Sauvage's
reception for the new French ambassador.
418
00:33:24,153 --> 00:33:26,112
Any developments, you can reach me there.
419
00:33:26,447 --> 00:33:30,533
Apart from that, I don't want you
within a hundred miles of the man.
420
00:33:31,327 --> 00:33:32,410
Absolutely, sir.
421
00:33:33,162 --> 00:33:36,748
Requisition order,
Ml7 quartermasters for immediate supply.
422
00:33:36,999 --> 00:33:38,917
One military transport plane, fully fuelled,
423
00:33:39,001 --> 00:33:41,127
with permission
for night-time city over-flight.
424
00:33:41,212 --> 00:33:43,546
Two night camouflage parachutes,
plus reserves,
425
00:33:43,631 --> 00:33:46,382
plus neoprene bodysuits, twice, in black.
426
00:33:46,467 --> 00:33:47,801
I've never liked the navy blue.
427
00:33:48,177 --> 00:33:50,678
And a 40-inch chest for me
'cause I need the sleeve length.
428
00:33:51,722 --> 00:33:53,139
- Morning, Felch.
- Morning.
429
00:33:53,432 --> 00:33:57,769
Oh, and two special forces signet rings,
primed and colour-coded.
430
00:33:57,895 --> 00:34:00,271
- What's all this for, sir?
- For tonight's operation, Bough.
431
00:34:00,648 --> 00:34:02,690
We're going to break
into Sauvage's headquarters.
432
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,527
- But I thought Pegasus said...
- You let me worry about Pegasus.
433
00:34:05,611 --> 00:34:07,112
I know that Sauvage is behind all this,
434
00:34:07,196 --> 00:34:09,072
and tonight we're gonna get the evidence
to prove it.
435
00:34:10,658 --> 00:34:14,327
- Something wrong, sir?
- Did that sound like Felch to you?
436
00:34:44,441 --> 00:34:45,608
Bough...
437
00:35:01,709 --> 00:35:03,585
You, upstairs.
438
00:35:18,309 --> 00:35:19,350
Ow!
439
00:35:53,802 --> 00:35:55,053
Can you see him, Bough?
440
00:35:55,971 --> 00:35:57,305
He's on the upper level, sir.
441
00:36:03,896 --> 00:36:04,979
Got him.
442
00:36:12,029 --> 00:36:16,407
And like a coiled viper, he strikes.
443
00:36:25,793 --> 00:36:28,169
So what you're saying, sir,
is there must have been two of them?
444
00:36:28,629 --> 00:36:31,005
Oh, at least, Bough. Possibly four.
445
00:36:31,131 --> 00:36:32,382
I wonder why I didn't see them.
446
00:36:32,675 --> 00:36:34,634
You mustn't dwell on your mistakes, Bough.
447
00:36:34,718 --> 00:36:37,553
- You must learn from them, then move on.
- Yes, sir.
448
00:36:40,683 --> 00:36:43,101
- So where were you, sir?
- Just drop it, Bough!
449
00:36:47,231 --> 00:36:48,439
Ah!
450
00:36:48,524 --> 00:36:51,150
- What is it, sir?
- That bike.
451
00:36:52,695 --> 00:36:54,404
You get things sorted out for tonight.
452
00:37:10,754 --> 00:37:12,505
Well, well, we meet again.
453
00:37:13,507 --> 00:37:16,467
Mr English. What a pleasant surprise!
454
00:37:16,552 --> 00:37:18,386
I wondered when you might show up again.
455
00:37:18,762 --> 00:37:23,182
On the contrary, Miss Campbell.
It is not I who keeps showing up. It's you.
456
00:37:24,685 --> 00:37:26,978
- Do you like sushi?
- Hmm?
457
00:37:29,106 --> 00:37:32,817
Oh, sushi! Oh! I practically live off the stuff.
458
00:37:33,235 --> 00:37:36,612
You might say the mysteries of the Orient
are no mystery to me.
459
00:37:46,582 --> 00:37:49,417
- Sake?
- Ah! Sake.
460
00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:08,519
Now then, perhaps you can explain how it is
461
00:38:08,604 --> 00:38:11,064
that I run into you at two crime scenes
462
00:38:11,148 --> 00:38:14,609
and then can't find any record of you
on a single government computer.
463
00:38:15,319 --> 00:38:16,736
Shouldn't you ask the government that?
464
00:38:18,072 --> 00:38:20,740
I am the government and I'm asking you.
465
00:38:25,913 --> 00:38:26,954
Let me.
466
00:38:28,874 --> 00:38:29,874
Hmm!
467
00:38:29,958 --> 00:38:31,292
You're brave.
468
00:38:31,460 --> 00:38:34,170
They say that sea urchin's
the ultimate acquired taste.
469
00:38:34,463 --> 00:38:37,215
It's a personal favourite of mine.
470
00:38:42,346 --> 00:38:44,931
I think people are put off
by how it feeds through its bottom.
471
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,851
- Would you excuse me for a moment?
- Mmm.
472
00:39:08,956 --> 00:39:11,666
Excuse me. Sorry. I'm from Ml7. Sorry.
I'm a secret agent. I am...
473
00:39:31,103 --> 00:39:33,813
- Everything set, Bough?
- Just about, sir.
474
00:39:34,523 --> 00:39:37,733
Actually, sir, do you mind
if I run through the plan one more time?
475
00:39:38,026 --> 00:39:40,695
- No, no.
- These are the two buildings here.
476
00:39:41,113 --> 00:39:43,823
This one is our target,
Sauvage's headquarters,
477
00:39:43,907 --> 00:39:45,450
right next to the City Hospital.
478
00:39:45,742 --> 00:39:48,744
I jump first and land on the south side
of the roof,
479
00:39:48,829 --> 00:39:52,039
abseil down 14 floors
and cut through this window here.
480
00:39:52,207 --> 00:39:56,085
I then land on the east side
of the roof and abseil down 12 floors.
481
00:39:56,170 --> 00:39:59,046
Where you wait for my signal
that I've disabled the alarm system.
482
00:39:59,131 --> 00:40:01,799
- Yes.
- You then break into this window here,
483
00:40:01,884 --> 00:40:05,136
work your way along the secure corridor
and penetrate Sauvage's office.
484
00:40:05,220 --> 00:40:07,722
- Yes, yes.
- Is that okay, sir?
485
00:40:07,848 --> 00:40:10,933
It's been okay
ever since I thought up the idea, Bough.
486
00:40:16,106 --> 00:40:18,900
Oh, I nearly forgot, sir. Your laser beacon.
487
00:40:19,610 --> 00:40:21,944
- My what?
- Your laser beacon!
488
00:40:22,029 --> 00:40:24,530
It'll guide you onto Sauvage's building.
489
00:40:24,865 --> 00:40:27,950
Your dependence on hardware
really does amuse me, Bough.
490
00:40:28,494 --> 00:40:30,912
I've been dropped into the Kalahari Desert
491
00:40:31,288 --> 00:40:35,082
carrying nothing more than a toothbrush
and a packet of sherbet lemons,
492
00:40:36,084 --> 00:40:39,504
and I still found my way
to Bulawayo before Ramadan.
493
00:40:41,256 --> 00:40:43,674
So thank you, Bough, but no thank you.
494
00:40:47,721 --> 00:40:49,388
- Bough, go!
495
00:40:49,473 --> 00:40:51,682
Geronimo!
496
00:41:20,546 --> 00:41:23,381
Fandango!
497
00:41:46,238 --> 00:41:47,321
Ugh!
498
00:41:55,914 --> 00:41:56,998
Right.
499
00:42:16,268 --> 00:42:17,602
Alarm's disabled, sir.
500
00:42:17,686 --> 00:42:18,853
Roger that, Bough.
501
00:42:57,184 --> 00:42:59,185
This is worse than I thought, Bough.
502
00:42:59,895 --> 00:43:03,522
Sauvage has got some kind
of laboratory set up here.
503
00:43:04,232 --> 00:43:07,151
God knows what kind
of sick operation he's running.
504
00:43:20,832 --> 00:43:23,334
My God, what have they done to you?
505
00:43:24,461 --> 00:43:26,420
They've taken some of my blood.
506
00:43:27,756 --> 00:43:30,800
- Bastards!
- It's only for tests.
507
00:43:30,884 --> 00:43:32,927
Of course it is. Come on, my friend.
508
00:43:33,011 --> 00:43:35,096
Let's get you out of here
before they take anything else.
509
00:43:46,191 --> 00:43:49,193
Good evening, Dr Frankenstein.
510
00:43:49,903 --> 00:43:51,445
This way, please.
511
00:43:51,530 --> 00:43:53,155
Come on, come on. I haven't got all night.
512
00:43:55,117 --> 00:43:57,785
And you, you angels of death.
513
00:43:58,036 --> 00:44:00,371
About turn. Come on, let's go.
514
00:44:00,455 --> 00:44:01,789
Come on, come on. Keep moving.
515
00:44:02,916 --> 00:44:06,460
Come on. Over there.
I know what you're doing here. And you.
516
00:44:06,878 --> 00:44:10,089
Come on. Quicker. Quicker. Come on.
Over there.
517
00:44:11,967 --> 00:44:13,342
Now then,
518
00:44:13,427 --> 00:44:16,554
perhaps you could direct me
to your evil paymaster.
519
00:44:17,639 --> 00:44:21,726
- What are you talking about?
- You know exactly what I'm talking about.
520
00:44:21,810 --> 00:44:25,479
Where is the office of Pascal Sauvage?
521
00:44:51,506 --> 00:44:53,048
Are you coming over here in a minute, sir?
522
00:44:56,386 --> 00:44:57,720
I'm from Ml7.
523
00:44:58,597 --> 00:45:01,390
This has been a test
of your emergency response systems,
524
00:45:01,475 --> 00:45:04,351
and I have to say,
you've all done extremely well.
525
00:45:04,978 --> 00:45:09,231
Right. Well, I'll leave you to it.
And, get well soon.
526
00:45:15,822 --> 00:45:19,742
Oh, God!
527
00:45:38,637 --> 00:45:40,179
Sir. Sir.
528
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:50,147
Did you just land on the wrong building?
529
00:45:51,358 --> 00:45:54,443
I did a precautionary sweep
of the immediate environment.
530
00:45:55,237 --> 00:45:56,403
Right.
531
00:45:58,657 --> 00:46:00,074
- And everything was fine.
- Good.
532
00:46:01,284 --> 00:46:02,576
Okay, let's go.
533
00:46:07,415 --> 00:46:10,918
I'll be downstairs at the reception...
534
00:46:20,053 --> 00:46:23,848
- That's far enough.
- Well, good evening.
535
00:46:24,599 --> 00:46:26,851
- Perhaps you'd like to have this as well.
- What is it?
536
00:46:26,935 --> 00:46:28,102
Let me show you.
537
00:46:30,856 --> 00:46:32,940
Well executed, Bough,
but completely redundant.
538
00:46:33,024 --> 00:46:36,026
- How do you mean, sir?
- Super-strength muscle relaxant.
539
00:46:36,361 --> 00:46:39,113
When he wakes up,
he'll be as floppy as a damp old sock.
540
00:46:45,954 --> 00:46:47,037
What's this?
541
00:47:02,470 --> 00:47:06,140
That's the face
of the Archbishop of Canterbury.
542
00:47:10,687 --> 00:47:11,854
What are they doing?
543
00:47:16,610 --> 00:47:19,486
What's this got to do with the Crown Jewels?
544
00:47:42,218 --> 00:47:43,344
Bough.
545
00:48:01,529 --> 00:48:02,905
English.
546
00:48:02,989 --> 00:48:08,869
A people whose empire once covered
one quarter of the surface of the earth.
547
00:48:09,454 --> 00:48:11,413
Alas, no longer.
548
00:48:12,207 --> 00:48:15,793
Now, my friends ask me,
"Pascal, how can you be so interested
549
00:48:15,877 --> 00:48:18,712
"in such a backward, grotty little country?"
550
00:48:19,172 --> 00:48:22,716
My answer is simple. The Queen.
551
00:48:23,551 --> 00:48:26,887
The Queen has more power
in her tiny white gloves
552
00:48:26,972 --> 00:48:30,557
than any other head of state
in the entire world.
553
00:48:30,767 --> 00:48:33,102
She can declare war or make peace,
554
00:48:33,186 --> 00:48:34,770
and most intriguingly,
555
00:48:35,772 --> 00:48:40,651
she can seize any piece of land
which takes her fancy.
556
00:48:41,069 --> 00:48:46,240
Of course, the Queen never uses
the enormous power afforded to her.
557
00:48:47,242 --> 00:48:50,953
But imagine someone
who would use that power.
558
00:48:52,122 --> 00:48:54,790
Imagine, say, me.
559
00:48:57,335 --> 00:48:59,586
How could he do that, sir?
How could he make himself King?
560
00:49:00,797 --> 00:49:02,172
The Archbishop.
561
00:49:12,225 --> 00:49:13,267
Ow!
562
00:49:15,603 --> 00:49:17,730
Hands up. There's a good fellow.
563
00:49:18,606 --> 00:49:21,483
Heavily armed for a late night at the office,
wouldn't you say, Bough?
564
00:49:21,568 --> 00:49:25,404
You fool, English.
You'll never get out of the building alive.
565
00:49:25,655 --> 00:49:27,948
I'd save your breath for my questioning.
566
00:49:28,158 --> 00:49:30,117
I'm not telling you anything.
567
00:49:30,368 --> 00:49:31,535
Incorrect.
568
00:49:33,288 --> 00:49:34,580
Sodium pentothal.
569
00:49:35,290 --> 00:49:37,958
I won't lie to you. It's a truth serum.
570
00:49:39,377 --> 00:49:43,380
Now then, why does Sauvage want
to have himself crowned?
571
00:49:44,090 --> 00:49:46,300
You have no idea what's going on here,
do you?
572
00:49:47,677 --> 00:49:50,137
It would be funny if it wasn't so...
573
00:49:51,139 --> 00:49:52,139
What?
574
00:49:58,813 --> 00:50:01,190
- He's talking gibberish, sir.
- Yes, I can hear that, Bough.
575
00:50:03,401 --> 00:50:05,569
- He's collapsed onto me, sir.
- Yes, I can see that, Bough.
576
00:50:06,863 --> 00:50:09,073
You don't think you could've
got the syringes mixed up, do you, sir?
577
00:50:09,157 --> 00:50:11,158
- What do you mean?
- Given the guard outside the truth serum
578
00:50:11,242 --> 00:50:12,534
and given Klein the muscle relaxant?
579
00:50:14,412 --> 00:50:15,496
Ah!
580
00:50:15,580 --> 00:50:18,248
Don't be ridiculous, Bough.
I think I know my right from my left.
581
00:50:19,793 --> 00:50:22,127
- Sir?
- Oh, bugger it!
582
00:50:24,422 --> 00:50:26,256
Bough, take "flodd."
583
00:50:26,341 --> 00:50:27,841
Take what, sir?
584
00:50:27,926 --> 00:50:30,469
Flodd. Schlage.
585
00:50:30,553 --> 00:50:32,054
I'm not quite getting that second word, sir.
586
00:50:32,138 --> 00:50:33,639
Schlage!
587
00:50:34,182 --> 00:50:36,016
- Write it down, sir.
- Schlage!
588
00:50:36,101 --> 00:50:38,727
Yes! Schlage!
589
00:50:40,772 --> 00:50:43,148
"C! C-A..."
590
00:50:43,358 --> 00:50:45,734
Car! Take the car! We didn't come by car, sir.
We came by plane.
591
00:50:48,238 --> 00:50:49,530
Bugger off!
592
00:50:50,198 --> 00:50:51,365
Hold it right there.
593
00:50:53,618 --> 00:50:56,245
- What's wrong with them?
- They got their... I'm not telling you.
594
00:50:57,038 --> 00:50:58,122
Wrong answer.
595
00:51:00,166 --> 00:51:01,416
What is it with you two?
596
00:51:01,835 --> 00:51:02,876
Ah!
597
00:51:05,630 --> 00:51:06,755
Let's get out of here.
598
00:51:07,173 --> 00:51:08,674
Sorry, but who are you, exactly?
599
00:51:09,342 --> 00:51:12,052
Special Agent Campbell.
I'm attached to Interpol in Paris.
600
00:51:12,387 --> 00:51:13,637
We've been watching Sauvage for months.
601
00:51:15,140 --> 00:51:16,140
Why?
602
00:51:16,224 --> 00:51:17,432
Because every major convict
603
00:51:17,517 --> 00:51:19,726
released from a Sauvage prison
in the last six months
604
00:51:19,811 --> 00:51:21,687
has been employed by one of his companies.
605
00:51:22,230 --> 00:51:24,815
We believe he's recruiting them
for a major criminal conspiracy.
606
00:51:24,899 --> 00:51:26,275
We just don't know what yet.
607
00:51:28,945 --> 00:51:31,113
- What did he say?
- Pegasus!
608
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:33,323
We have to report to Pegasus!
609
00:51:34,242 --> 00:51:35,826
Oh, no, sir. No, no, no, no.
610
00:51:35,910 --> 00:51:38,495
- How do we get out of here?
- Hey, you!
611
00:51:38,997 --> 00:51:40,539
What you did to me really hurt.
612
00:51:43,001 --> 00:51:46,378
Yeah. Sorry about that. How do we get out
of here without being seen?
613
00:51:47,547 --> 00:51:48,630
Okay.
614
00:51:49,007 --> 00:51:51,633
Left by the water fountain,
right by the fire exit,
615
00:51:51,759 --> 00:51:52,926
then to the elevator at the end.
616
00:51:53,011 --> 00:51:54,761
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
617
00:51:56,097 --> 00:51:57,514
Nice job, Bough.
618
00:51:57,599 --> 00:51:59,016
Left, sir. Left!
619
00:52:00,685 --> 00:52:03,770
Sir, you can't go to
Sauvage's reception in this state.
620
00:52:03,897 --> 00:52:06,148
The effect of the drug
has practically worn off, Bough.
621
00:52:06,774 --> 00:52:08,483
I'm fline.
622
00:52:08,610 --> 00:52:10,360
Schline. Uh, gline.
623
00:52:20,872 --> 00:52:22,122
Monsieur.
624
00:52:22,332 --> 00:52:23,790
Ah! Thank you.
625
00:52:27,795 --> 00:52:29,796
- Would you like another?
- Please.
626
00:52:36,679 --> 00:52:37,721
Thank you.
627
00:52:43,645 --> 00:52:45,395
What in God's name?
628
00:52:45,605 --> 00:52:48,148
Ah! Foreign Sebletarary.
629
00:52:48,483 --> 00:52:49,650
Um...
630
00:52:52,028 --> 00:52:53,070
Ah!
631
00:52:54,489 --> 00:52:55,822
Shall we dance?
632
00:53:45,581 --> 00:53:47,040
- Excuse me, sir?
- Yes, Bough?
633
00:53:47,125 --> 00:53:49,126
I'm very sorry to interrupt. I need to...
634
00:53:49,210 --> 00:53:51,378
Ah, Pascal, how nice to see you again.
635
00:53:51,546 --> 00:53:53,547
- Enjoying the party?
- Splendid affair.
636
00:53:54,340 --> 00:53:58,760
I was until I was informed
that your man English
637
00:53:58,845 --> 00:54:02,306
and his curious boyfriend here
have spent the evening
638
00:54:02,390 --> 00:54:06,059
breaking into my office
and assaulting my staff.
639
00:54:06,227 --> 00:54:08,020
Is this true, Bough?
640
00:54:08,563 --> 00:54:09,730
Well, we... We...
641
00:54:19,574 --> 00:54:21,408
What in God's name do you think
you're up to?
642
00:54:21,743 --> 00:54:23,327
- Well...
- Sir, if I could just offer...
643
00:54:23,411 --> 00:54:24,411
Go home, Bough!
644
00:54:25,079 --> 00:54:26,246
Now!
645
00:54:27,248 --> 00:54:29,666
I gave you direct orders not to meddle
with Sauvage.
646
00:54:29,751 --> 00:54:32,711
What do you do? You break into his office
and assault two of his staff.
647
00:54:32,962 --> 00:54:36,256
Then you march in here,
loaded with God only knows what,
648
00:54:36,424 --> 00:54:37,966
and insult the foreign secretary.
649
00:54:38,051 --> 00:54:40,844
I haven't encountered such behaviour
in Whitehall in 30 years.
650
00:54:40,928 --> 00:54:42,888
- But...
- There are no "buts," English.
651
00:54:43,765 --> 00:54:47,309
You're off the case.
Your security clearance is hereby cancelled.
652
00:54:47,393 --> 00:54:50,771
After a three-month leave of absence,
you will return at your old grade.
653
00:54:51,064 --> 00:54:53,106
And I hope never to hear your name again.
654
00:55:47,578 --> 00:55:49,371
English has seen too much.
655
00:55:49,455 --> 00:55:51,581
We go to plan B.
656
00:55:51,999 --> 00:55:57,295
Get rid of the fake Archbishop
and green-light the visit to Her Majesty.
657
00:55:57,422 --> 00:56:01,174
And then this pathetic country
can humiliate itself
658
00:56:01,259 --> 00:56:03,427
by crowning me officially.
659
00:56:30,788 --> 00:56:33,999
That's a letter of abdication
renouncing your claims to the throne
660
00:56:34,083 --> 00:56:36,084
and the claims of your entire family.
661
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:39,045
Sign it.
662
00:56:47,555 --> 00:56:48,680
Never.
663
00:57:04,155 --> 00:57:05,447
- Yes?
- Prime Minister,
664
00:57:05,531 --> 00:57:08,325
I'm sorry to call so late,
but I'm afraid the Queen has abdicated.
665
00:57:08,409 --> 00:57:09,618
What?
666
00:57:09,869 --> 00:57:14,122
Abdicated? But that's not possible.
667
00:57:14,499 --> 00:57:16,041
I only wish that were true.
668
00:57:16,626 --> 00:57:18,835
You know what, let me talk to her.
Maybe she just...
669
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,086
Pascal, she's gone.
670
00:57:21,464 --> 00:57:23,173
Now, my people have spent the last 10 hours
671
00:57:23,257 --> 00:57:25,717
trying to track down the rightful heir
to the throne
672
00:57:25,801 --> 00:57:29,930
and they've come up with a name,
which they've double-checked.
673
00:57:31,807 --> 00:57:33,058
Who is it?
674
00:57:33,267 --> 00:57:35,519
- It's you.
- No!
675
00:57:41,108 --> 00:57:43,443
In the wake of the return of the Crown Jewels
676
00:57:43,528 --> 00:57:45,570
to a police station in North London,
677
00:57:45,655 --> 00:57:48,406
Pascal Sauvage has requested
that his coronation
678
00:57:48,491 --> 00:57:50,283
take place this Thursday.
679
00:57:50,868 --> 00:57:54,246
In the House, the prime minister said
he was looking forward to the ceremony
680
00:57:54,455 --> 00:57:57,457
and he believed that Monsieur Sauvage
will make a fine king
681
00:57:57,792 --> 00:57:59,042
and will bring all that is best
682
00:57:59,126 --> 00:58:01,670
about modern Europe
to our ancient institution.
683
00:58:10,054 --> 00:58:12,138
Get your car keys. We've got work to do.
684
00:58:12,890 --> 00:58:13,890
Miss Campbell.
685
00:58:13,975 --> 00:58:16,184
Sauvage is heading back
to his chateau in France.
686
00:58:16,394 --> 00:58:19,896
And he's invited 13 of the richest
criminal masterminds in the world
687
00:58:19,981 --> 00:58:21,147
to meet him there.
688
00:58:21,357 --> 00:58:24,150
I'm sorry, Miss Campbell. I'm off the case.
689
00:58:24,485 --> 00:58:26,069
It's been reassigned.
690
00:58:26,153 --> 00:58:28,822
I know. Reassigned to me.
691
00:58:32,076 --> 00:58:35,495
- Look, I want you with me, Johnny.
- Look, just leave me alone.
692
00:58:35,663 --> 00:58:36,663
What are you gonna do?
693
00:58:36,747 --> 00:58:38,999
Sit here in this grotty flat feeling sorry
for yourself?
694
00:58:39,625 --> 00:58:42,043
Or are you gonna get out there
and save your country?
695
00:58:44,171 --> 00:58:45,422
I'm gonna sit in the flat.
696
00:58:46,007 --> 00:58:49,884
- Johnny, this is ridiculous.
- I'm a spent force.
697
00:58:52,597 --> 00:58:54,222
Spent, my ass.
698
00:58:59,687 --> 00:59:01,062
Ow!
699
00:59:02,481 --> 00:59:04,983
Will you please stop?
700
00:59:18,039 --> 00:59:19,164
I'll just be a minute.
701
01:00:05,836 --> 01:00:08,755
It'll be nightfall in an hour.
Then we can strike out for the chateau.
702
01:00:09,298 --> 01:00:12,467
The fact is, the moment Sauvage gets
that crown on his head,
703
01:00:12,551 --> 01:00:15,595
he'll be able to do whatever he likes
with the country that I love,
704
01:00:15,763 --> 01:00:18,390
and that is why you and I have got
to stop him.
705
01:00:20,768 --> 01:00:24,062
- Relishing the thought?
- Something like that.
706
01:00:26,774 --> 01:00:29,317
I suppose you've made love
to lots of women, haven't you, Johnny?
707
01:00:33,239 --> 01:00:34,364
Um...
708
01:00:36,158 --> 01:00:38,952
You know, one does one's best.
709
01:00:41,122 --> 01:00:42,414
It's just...
710
01:00:43,457 --> 01:00:46,960
Well, it's been three years
since my fiancé left me,
711
01:00:47,044 --> 01:00:50,922
and since then, I haven't made love
to anyone.
712
01:00:52,550 --> 01:00:54,134
But then I met you,
713
01:00:55,636 --> 01:00:58,638
and I felt this hunger,
714
01:00:59,473 --> 01:01:02,976
deep down inside.
I wanted to say things to you.
715
01:01:03,060 --> 01:01:05,353
I wanted to do things to you
716
01:01:05,438 --> 01:01:09,482
that I haven't wanted to do
in a very, very, very long time.
717
01:01:13,988 --> 01:01:15,363
What, uh...
718
01:01:16,907 --> 01:01:19,033
What sort of things are we talking about?
719
01:01:19,660 --> 01:01:21,536
Things like punching you in the face.
720
01:01:22,037 --> 01:01:23,997
Things like kicking you in the backside
721
01:01:24,081 --> 01:01:26,374
for being such a pompous,
know-nothing asshole.
722
01:01:27,168 --> 01:01:30,462
But then I started to see beyond the idiot
that everybody else saw.
723
01:01:31,172 --> 01:01:33,339
I started to see the man on the inside,
724
01:01:33,924 --> 01:01:38,052
a man who was determined to do his duty,
no matter what or who lay in his way.
725
01:01:38,846 --> 01:01:41,931
And I began to feel other things for him,
726
01:01:43,100 --> 01:01:46,519
to wanna do other things for him.
727
01:01:47,897 --> 01:01:49,606
Things...
728
01:01:49,690 --> 01:01:52,692
Involving plastic toys and soft cheese?
729
01:01:54,695 --> 01:01:57,739
- What?
- What? What?
730
01:01:57,865 --> 01:02:00,074
You're toying with me,
aren't you?
731
01:02:00,159 --> 01:02:02,619
You're telling me to stop
in the gentlest way you know how.
732
01:02:03,412 --> 01:02:04,746
No. No...
733
01:02:04,830 --> 01:02:07,040
You're such a special person, Johnny,
734
01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:09,334
not to take advantage of me
while I'm vulnerable.
735
01:02:09,794 --> 01:02:14,464
- No. Well...
- So thank you for being such a gentleman.
736
01:02:18,260 --> 01:02:19,469
Not at all.
737
01:02:41,325 --> 01:02:43,326
I know what you're thinking, Miss Campbell.
738
01:02:43,577 --> 01:02:47,413
You're thinking, "If we don't pull this off,
God knows what might happen to England."
739
01:02:47,915 --> 01:02:50,583
Actually, I was thinking
there must be a better way in than that pipe.
740
01:02:52,419 --> 01:02:53,545
Well, there isn't.
741
01:02:53,629 --> 01:02:56,881
I've analysed it from every possible angle,
and this is the best option.
742
01:02:57,633 --> 01:03:01,302
I'll go in first, and if there's a clear way
through, I'll call down. Okay?
743
01:03:03,389 --> 01:03:04,597
Johnny.
744
01:03:05,391 --> 01:03:08,351
- Be careful.
- I'm always careful.
745
01:03:08,936 --> 01:03:10,103
Oh!
746
01:03:59,820 --> 01:04:01,946
- Gentlemen.
747
01:04:02,698 --> 01:04:07,952
In a few hours' time,
I will become the next king of England.
748
01:04:26,889 --> 01:04:28,014
No.
749
01:04:43,697 --> 01:04:45,490
Ha!
750
01:04:45,574 --> 01:04:47,825
- How did you get here?
- Up the ladder.
751
01:04:48,827 --> 01:04:50,954
Look, pull yourself together.
It's only a bit of poo.
752
01:04:54,959 --> 01:04:58,336
It's cold! Oh! It's cold!
753
01:04:58,462 --> 01:05:04,384
What is the one commodity
the world never seems to run out of?
754
01:05:06,053 --> 01:05:08,346
Criminals, gentlemen.
755
01:05:08,430 --> 01:05:10,807
- Lawbreakers.
756
01:05:10,891 --> 01:05:12,850
Every nation in the world
757
01:05:12,935 --> 01:05:17,146
struggles with the issue
of overcrowded prisons.
758
01:05:17,439 --> 01:05:22,026
So, what do we do with all these villains?
759
01:05:22,403 --> 01:05:24,988
Find the solution to that problem
760
01:05:25,072 --> 01:05:30,159
and the governments of the world
would pay you through their nose.
761
01:05:30,744 --> 01:05:34,580
Fortunately, I have found a solution.
762
01:05:34,915 --> 01:05:39,669
We empty every prison on the entire planet,
763
01:05:40,337 --> 01:05:45,383
we take the resulting tidal wave
of human scum
764
01:05:45,718 --> 01:05:47,593
and we put it here.
765
01:05:52,766 --> 01:05:54,809
The moment I am crowned King,
766
01:05:54,893 --> 01:05:58,229
I will turn England into the largest prison
767
01:05:58,313 --> 01:06:00,606
in the history of the world.
768
01:06:02,443 --> 01:06:07,739
210,000 square miles of prime real estate,
769
01:06:08,032 --> 01:06:14,162
conveniently separated from true civilisation
by 20 miles of ocean
770
01:06:14,538 --> 01:06:16,581
- and soon to be available...
- Come on.
771
01:06:16,665 --> 01:06:21,836
...for the entire world
to dump its human waste in.
772
01:06:22,129 --> 01:06:24,714
According to current projections,
773
01:06:24,798 --> 01:06:30,136
we will not run out of prison space
for the next 500 years.
774
01:06:30,554 --> 01:06:35,016
So, tonight, one, and only one, of you
775
01:06:35,100 --> 01:06:41,939
will leave here owning 49% of this venture.
776
01:06:43,650 --> 01:06:48,071
So that's his little game.
We must get hold of that DVD.
777
01:06:48,155 --> 01:06:49,614
But how, Johnny? There's only two of us.
778
01:06:50,824 --> 01:06:53,493
You're young, Miss Campbell,
and inexperienced.
779
01:06:53,869 --> 01:06:55,703
What you seem to have forgotten is that
780
01:06:55,788 --> 01:06:57,914
nobody knows we are here.
781
01:06:58,457 --> 01:07:01,667
At our disposal,
we have the vital element of surprise.
782
01:07:02,878 --> 01:07:05,254
Now, my plan is simple but effective.
783
01:07:05,672 --> 01:07:08,424
I shall drop from the gallery
at this end of the room
784
01:07:08,509 --> 01:07:09,884
and take Sauvage prisoner.
785
01:07:10,385 --> 01:07:13,054
You will then enter from the far door,
786
01:07:13,138 --> 01:07:14,722
cutting off any means of escape.
787
01:07:15,015 --> 01:07:19,352
Then, using Sauvage as a hostage,
we'll get the hell out of here. Clear?
788
01:07:28,278 --> 01:07:30,863
Get 'em up, you French ponce.
789
01:07:31,698 --> 01:07:35,076
But, Mr English, I'm gobsmacked!
790
01:07:35,702 --> 01:07:37,995
What an unexpected surprise.
791
01:07:38,413 --> 01:07:41,457
Surprises are very much my speciality,
Sauvage.
792
01:07:42,960 --> 01:07:44,710
I think we've seen enough of this.
793
01:07:46,839 --> 01:07:51,676
I know exactly what you're planning,
and I'm here to put a stop to it.
794
01:07:53,470 --> 01:07:56,722
My bottom will be king of England
before you are.
795
01:07:57,808 --> 01:07:59,308
Wrong again.
796
01:08:00,144 --> 01:08:02,895
Perhaps you'd care to look behind you.
797
01:08:03,188 --> 01:08:05,523
Oh, please.
798
01:08:09,695 --> 01:08:10,736
Lorna!
799
01:08:13,407 --> 01:08:14,574
I'm sorry, Johnny.
800
01:08:16,076 --> 01:08:21,956
Well, I'm afraid that we'll have
to conclude the floor show for tonight.
801
01:08:22,166 --> 01:08:24,041
Not so fast, Sauvage.
802
01:08:24,585 --> 01:08:28,421
You may have taken me,
but you'll never take England.
803
01:08:28,755 --> 01:08:31,591
Not as long as I have breath in my body
804
01:08:31,675 --> 01:08:34,010
or a bullet in my gun.
805
01:08:43,437 --> 01:08:47,440
You know, Mr English,
I'm going to miss you. Really.
806
01:08:47,524 --> 01:08:50,026
You're very entertaining. I thank you.
807
01:08:50,819 --> 01:08:51,861
Take them away.
808
01:08:56,283 --> 01:08:57,366
Good morning, everybody!
809
01:08:58,577 --> 01:08:59,952
And welcome to The Breakfast Show.
810
01:09:03,040 --> 01:09:06,459
As the crowds are gathering here
for the crowning of our first French king
811
01:09:06,543 --> 01:09:08,211
since the year 1066,
812
01:09:08,295 --> 01:09:10,504
we ask you to call us here at London FM
813
01:09:10,589 --> 01:09:13,716
with the top 10 things you most love
about the French.
814
01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:16,344
We haven't had any calls yet, at all,
815
01:09:16,428 --> 01:09:18,804
but the lines are still open
and I'll give you that number again.
816
01:09:20,224 --> 01:09:21,224
0-2-0-7...
817
01:09:27,231 --> 01:09:28,648
This is not good, Johnny.
818
01:09:29,483 --> 01:09:30,900
We've got to think of something.
819
01:09:32,986 --> 01:09:35,488
Wait a minute. I've got an idea.
820
01:09:36,198 --> 01:09:37,698
Hop! Hop!
821
01:09:38,325 --> 01:09:41,160
Hop! And hop! And stop!
822
01:09:41,828 --> 01:09:43,955
Now, are you familiar
823
01:09:44,039 --> 01:09:47,708
with the shaman throat warblers
of the Guatemalan delta?
824
01:09:48,126 --> 01:09:49,126
What?
825
01:09:49,378 --> 01:09:51,128
It has long been their belief
826
01:09:51,213 --> 01:09:55,591
that a whistle pitched at the precise
resonant frequency of a metal lock
827
01:09:55,676 --> 01:10:00,263
will vibrate the levers in such a way
that the door will simply swing open.
828
01:10:00,806 --> 01:10:01,931
Unbelievable.
829
01:10:02,182 --> 01:10:03,557
And kneel.
830
01:10:07,729 --> 01:10:09,563
Right. Here goes.
831
01:10:22,202 --> 01:10:24,870
- I can't hear anything.
- I'm into ultrasonic.
832
01:10:26,290 --> 01:10:28,457
Johnny, will you just stop all this
and face facts?
833
01:10:29,626 --> 01:10:33,087
We've failed. The only thing
that can save us now is a miracle.
834
01:10:40,470 --> 01:10:41,554
It worked!
835
01:10:41,722 --> 01:10:42,805
Oh!
836
01:10:42,889 --> 01:10:43,931
Sir?
837
01:10:52,774 --> 01:10:55,651
I don't know why you hauled yourself
up that dreadful poo tube, Bough,
838
01:10:55,736 --> 01:10:58,195
when there's a perfectly good ladder right
beside it.
839
01:10:59,531 --> 01:11:02,033
Now, Sauvage may have fooled the country
840
01:11:02,117 --> 01:11:04,910
with his fake Archbishop
and his secret agenda,
841
01:11:05,162 --> 01:11:06,996
but he hasn't fooled me.
842
01:11:08,248 --> 01:11:10,082
So, here's the plan.
843
01:12:41,591 --> 01:12:46,595
Sirs, you are hereby called
to witness the anointing
844
01:12:46,680 --> 01:12:52,518
of your one true lord and future king, Pascal.
845
01:12:53,019 --> 01:12:57,064
Pascal, are you willing to take the oath?
846
01:12:57,691 --> 01:12:59,024
I am willing.
847
01:12:59,359 --> 01:13:05,865
Then be thou anointed with this holy oil.
848
01:13:08,452 --> 01:13:14,790
And do you, the chosen bishops
of England, Scotland and Wales,
849
01:13:14,958 --> 01:13:17,460
assent to this anointing?
850
01:13:17,544 --> 01:13:20,004
For Scotland, I do.
851
01:13:20,088 --> 01:13:22,047
For Wales, I do.
852
01:13:22,883 --> 01:13:25,384
For England, I do not!
853
01:13:28,889 --> 01:13:29,889
English!
854
01:13:32,100 --> 01:13:35,352
That man must not be crowned King
855
01:13:35,437 --> 01:13:39,523
because he is a fraudster, a charlatan
and a thief.
856
01:13:39,649 --> 01:13:42,902
No, please. Let him speak.
857
01:13:44,988 --> 01:13:48,491
It is this man, Pascal Sauvage,
858
01:13:48,575 --> 01:13:50,075
who stole the Crown Jewels,
859
01:13:51,244 --> 01:13:53,704
Who forced the Queen to abdicate
860
01:13:53,872 --> 01:13:56,582
and would kill anyone who got in his way.
861
01:13:57,125 --> 01:13:59,084
It is the end, Herr English.
862
01:14:01,421 --> 01:14:04,840
He has cheated,
conned and manipulated
863
01:14:04,925 --> 01:14:07,134
this great country for his own ends.
864
01:14:08,220 --> 01:14:09,470
He's fooled you all!
865
01:14:12,015 --> 01:14:15,142
What's more, this whole ceremony is a sham
866
01:14:15,852 --> 01:14:19,438
because that man standing in front of you
867
01:14:19,606 --> 01:14:22,608
is not the Archbishop of Canterbury.
868
01:14:25,445 --> 01:14:28,948
English, a word of advice. Don't go there.
869
01:14:29,574 --> 01:14:32,993
Shut it, Frenchy.
I'll go wherever I damn well please.
870
01:14:33,703 --> 01:14:37,122
- Now, take it off.
- What?
871
01:14:37,415 --> 01:14:40,292
Your face is made of plastic.
872
01:14:42,462 --> 01:14:44,088
Remove it at once.
873
01:14:44,548 --> 01:14:46,757
I have no idea what you're talking about.
874
01:14:47,384 --> 01:14:50,302
Right. Well, I'll just have to remove it myself.
875
01:14:50,637 --> 01:14:51,971
- Come on!
876
01:14:55,725 --> 01:14:57,142
- Maybe it pulls up from the front.
877
01:14:58,478 --> 01:15:00,062
Come on, will you!
878
01:15:17,247 --> 01:15:18,497
Thank you very much.
879
01:15:20,917 --> 01:15:22,668
- Must be adjoined here somewhere.
880
01:15:22,836 --> 01:15:26,130
Fascinating performance as always,
Mr English,
881
01:15:26,214 --> 01:15:28,507
but I'm afraid we must move on.
882
01:15:28,842 --> 01:15:33,262
Nobody's moving anywhere
until I'm finished with this piece of low-life.
883
01:15:33,930 --> 01:15:36,140
Do you or do you not
884
01:15:36,224 --> 01:15:39,476
have tattooed on your bottom the words,
885
01:15:39,561 --> 01:15:42,605
"Jesus is coming. Look busy"?
886
01:15:44,816 --> 01:15:46,609
Are you insane?
887
01:15:46,943 --> 01:15:48,611
Well, let's find out, shall we?
888
01:15:49,070 --> 01:15:51,864
Go on, over. Go on, let's have a look.
889
01:16:01,041 --> 01:16:03,000
- Excellent!
890
01:16:12,636 --> 01:16:16,680
All right, so I was wrong
about the Archbishop's bottom.
891
01:16:18,058 --> 01:16:21,268
- But there's more.
- But not, I'm afraid, today.
892
01:16:21,353 --> 01:16:23,812
Sergeant, please take this man away.
893
01:16:24,230 --> 01:16:27,816
- But be gentle with him.
- Do you think that's it?
894
01:16:28,276 --> 01:16:29,902
What, do you think
I don't have more evidence?
895
01:16:30,236 --> 01:16:33,697
My loyal subordinate is standing by
with a DVD
896
01:16:34,157 --> 01:16:37,284
which shows Sauvage's hideous plans
for this country.
897
01:16:37,369 --> 01:16:39,828
Get him out! Get him out of here!
898
01:16:39,913 --> 01:16:43,290
- Play it, Bough! Play the disc!
- Play it! Now!
899
01:16:59,766 --> 01:17:02,935
You're so hot, teasing me
900
01:17:03,436 --> 01:17:08,065
So you're blue
But I can't take a chance on a chick like you
901
01:17:09,776 --> 01:17:11,777
It's somethin' I couldn't do
902
01:17:14,280 --> 01:17:16,365
Well, I could dance with you, honey
If you think it's funny
903
01:17:18,243 --> 01:17:20,911
Does your mother know that you're out?
904
01:17:21,329 --> 01:17:24,790
And I could chat with you, baby
Flirt a little, maybe
905
01:17:25,041 --> 01:17:27,543
Does your mother
know that you're out?
906
01:17:28,378 --> 01:17:30,212
- Take it easy
- Take it easy
907
01:17:30,296 --> 01:17:33,674
Better slow down, girl
That's no way to go
908
01:17:33,800 --> 01:17:35,509
Does your mother know?
909
01:17:55,488 --> 01:17:57,156
Well, shall we?
910
01:18:03,329 --> 01:18:06,915
Then, as Solomon was anointed King
911
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:11,336
by Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet,
912
01:18:11,421 --> 01:18:17,092
so be thou anointed and consecrated King
913
01:18:18,845 --> 01:18:21,305
over all the peoples
914
01:18:21,639 --> 01:18:23,682
whom the Lord thy God
915
01:18:24,476 --> 01:18:26,852
hath given thee to govern.
916
01:18:27,729 --> 01:18:32,524
And of all your possessions,
wherever they may be.
917
01:18:33,568 --> 01:18:37,029
And so, in the name of the Father
918
01:18:37,614 --> 01:18:39,114
and of the Son
919
01:18:39,699 --> 01:18:41,617
and of the Holy Ghost,
920
01:18:42,535 --> 01:18:44,828
I crown you...
921
01:18:50,418 --> 01:18:51,585
Damn it!
922
01:18:52,962 --> 01:18:54,880
- Give it back!
- No!
923
01:18:54,964 --> 01:18:56,965
- That is my crown!
- Never!
924
01:18:57,050 --> 01:19:00,511
- Give it back!
- Never in a million years, Sauvage!
925
01:19:00,720 --> 01:19:02,554
- Give it to me!
- Bugger off.
926
01:19:06,935 --> 01:19:08,560
Give it back!
927
01:19:10,980 --> 01:19:13,190
- Pascal!
- Shut up!
928
01:19:15,068 --> 01:19:18,821
All this stupid little country have
to do is stand in line
929
01:19:18,905 --> 01:19:22,950
and do what it's told for one miserable day!
930
01:19:23,034 --> 01:19:24,910
But can it do that?
931
01:19:25,411 --> 01:19:28,747
My fragrant French ass, it can!
932
01:19:33,586 --> 01:19:34,670
Merde!
933
01:19:37,590 --> 01:19:38,590
- Ah!
934
01:19:40,844 --> 01:19:43,929
Give it! The crown! The crown! Go!
935
01:19:44,472 --> 01:19:47,266
- Ah!
936
01:19:48,142 --> 01:19:50,853
And so, in the name of the Father
937
01:19:50,937 --> 01:19:53,939
and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost,
938
01:19:54,607 --> 01:19:56,316
I crown you...
939
01:20:00,113 --> 01:20:01,280
King.
940
01:20:03,324 --> 01:20:04,366
What?
941
01:20:30,727 --> 01:20:32,477
Arrest that man
942
01:20:33,813 --> 01:20:35,522
and lock him away.
943
01:20:40,987 --> 01:20:44,907
God save the king!
Long live the king!
944
01:20:45,325 --> 01:20:47,326
God save the king!
945
01:21:23,321 --> 01:21:24,988
Words can hardly express
946
01:21:25,073 --> 01:21:27,783
just how much we appreciate
everything you've done.
947
01:21:28,242 --> 01:21:30,202
Nothing more than my duty, ma'am.
948
01:21:30,745 --> 01:21:35,582
And in return, is there anything
that your Queen and country can do for you?
949
01:21:36,876 --> 01:21:38,460
Well,
950
01:21:38,670 --> 01:21:41,213
since one is asking, ma'am...
951
01:21:42,507 --> 01:21:45,592
The headlines again.
In celebration of her return to the throne,
952
01:21:45,677 --> 01:21:48,720
the Queen has declared August 5
a national holiday
953
01:21:48,888 --> 01:21:49,930
and in a private ceremony,
954
01:21:50,014 --> 01:21:53,475
has conferred a knighthood
on the unnamed Ml7 agent
955
01:21:53,559 --> 01:21:57,270
responsible for foiling the plot
of the French businessman Pascal Sauvage.
956
01:21:57,814 --> 01:22:00,315
Mr Sauvage is now awaiting trial
for high treason,
957
01:22:00,400 --> 01:22:02,693
a crime which still carries the death penalty.
958
01:22:02,819 --> 01:22:06,738
If found guilty, he's asked
that his brain be donated to medical science
959
01:22:06,823 --> 01:22:10,075
to further research into the causes
of hypermanic schizophrenia.
960
01:22:10,910 --> 01:22:13,453
Meanwhile, the unnamed English agent
has left the country
961
01:22:13,746 --> 01:22:16,915
and has already embarked
on his next challenging mission.
962
01:22:23,089 --> 01:22:25,424
Sir Johnny English.
963
01:22:26,426 --> 01:22:28,593
Her Majesty did seem very grateful.
964
01:22:30,263 --> 01:22:31,596
She's not the only one.
965
01:22:40,273 --> 01:22:41,606
Mmm!
966
01:22:42,191 --> 01:22:43,859
You are full of surprises.
967
01:22:52,368 --> 01:22:55,454
- Johnny!
- Oh...
968
01:22:56,289 --> 01:23:00,125
One eye on the shadows
Protecting his fellows
969
01:23:00,460 --> 01:23:03,045
From sunup to the moon on his back
970
01:23:03,629 --> 01:23:07,799
Sendin' villains to Hades
A hit with the ladies
971
01:23:08,009 --> 01:23:10,844
A stallion in the sack
972
01:23:11,971 --> 01:23:15,891
You can't get your life back
when right follows left, jack
973
01:23:15,975 --> 01:23:18,477
The more you see, the less you know
974
01:23:19,562 --> 01:23:23,565
When others would leak it
His service is secret
975
01:23:23,649 --> 01:23:26,568
Plays God when it's your time to go
976
01:23:26,652 --> 01:23:30,489
Hey, fellas
Don't be jealous
977
01:23:30,990 --> 01:23:34,076
When they made him, they broke the mould
978
01:23:34,160 --> 01:23:38,163
So charismatic
With an automatic
979
01:23:38,247 --> 01:23:41,833
Never prematurely shooting his load
980
01:23:43,669 --> 01:23:47,464
Queen and country safe and sound
With villains six feet underground
981
01:23:47,548 --> 01:23:50,383
And no one knows
'cause no one's found any trace
982
01:23:50,468 --> 01:23:55,347
Of a man for all seasons
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
983
01:23:55,973 --> 01:23:58,058
So alone
984
01:23:59,018 --> 01:24:03,063
And you and I wouldn't have a clue
Who's doin' what, why, when and who
985
01:24:03,147 --> 01:24:04,940
Up a creek with no canoe
986
01:24:05,024 --> 01:24:08,235
Watch out for the man for all seasons
987
01:24:08,402 --> 01:24:11,113
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
988
01:24:11,447 --> 01:24:14,658
So alone
But safe at home
989
01:24:14,784 --> 01:24:18,161
But safe at home
But safe at home
990
01:24:22,542 --> 01:24:26,211
Queen and country safe and sound
With villains six feet underground
991
01:24:26,295 --> 01:24:29,172
And no one knows
'cause no one's found any trace
992
01:24:29,257 --> 01:24:34,177
Of a man for all seasons
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
993
01:24:34,846 --> 01:24:36,930
So alone
994
01:24:37,849 --> 01:24:41,810
And you and I wouldn't have a clue
Who's doin' what, why, when and who
995
01:24:41,894 --> 01:24:43,645
Up a creek with no canoe
996
01:24:43,729 --> 01:24:46,982
Watch out for the man for all seasons
997
01:24:47,066 --> 01:24:50,110
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
998
01:24:50,194 --> 01:24:53,405
So alone
But safe at home
999
01:24:53,573 --> 01:24:57,242
Queen and country safe and sound
With villains six feet underground
1000
01:24:57,326 --> 01:25:00,328
And no one knows
'cause no one's found any trace
1001
01:25:00,413 --> 01:25:05,083
Of a man for all seasons
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
1002
01:25:05,835 --> 01:25:07,919
So alone
1003
01:25:08,880 --> 01:25:12,841
And you and I wouldn't have a clue
Who's doin' what, why, when and who
1004
01:25:12,925 --> 01:25:14,676
Up a creek with no canoe
1005
01:25:14,760 --> 01:25:18,054
Watch out for the man for all seasons
1006
01:25:18,139 --> 01:25:21,016
Loves 'em and leaves 'em alone
1007
01:25:21,100 --> 01:25:27,147
So alone
But safe at home
1008
01:25:27,231 --> 01:25:30,233
Oh, yeah
77552