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1
00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:06,852
Hey, guys.
2
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:10,689
Welcome to another edition
of J-J-J-J,
J-TECH!
3
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:14,359
J-TECH.
4
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:18,864
A vlog specializing in reviewing
new consumer technologies.
5
00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:29,975
Self-help is a big business
right now.
6
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:33,845
Uh, ones that help you with self
confidence, anxiety, insomnia.
7
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,781
A little, uh, drug addiction...
8
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,587
And there's apps out there for people who
think they've been abducted by aliens.
9
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:43,234
And there's tracking
devices in their brain.
10
00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:44,623
It's called the Alien
Brain Scan app.
11
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,458
You should check it out.
It's totally weird.
12
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:50,662
However, I did find one app
that kinda stood out to me.
13
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:53,599
Unlike the other apps, which are
designed to solve a specific problem,
14
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,401
this claims that it can help
with an... an... with anything.
15
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,471
You just input your goal, and it sends you
a series of custom-tailored missions...
16
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:01,206
to help you accomplish it.
17
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,608
And what's really interesting
about it...
18
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,610
is an interactive feature...
interactive feature...
19
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:06,778
that allows you to keep track
of your progress...
20
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,247
by filming yourself
with your camera...
21
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,948
in order to help you
accomplish the mission.
22
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,084
The app is called I-Lived...
23
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:14,620
and I know it sounds a little
weird, but it's pretty cool,
24
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,421
and it's really fun
and easy to use.
25
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,857
So, here is the app,
which is bright and positive...
26
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,660
and has a guy jumping into
action with the tag line,
27
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,129
"You Haven't Lived
Until I-Lived."
28
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,998
Whoa.
29
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:30,168
Thank God I found this thing, 'cause
I'm ready to finally start living.
30
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,704
Once you've downloaded the app
and signed the user agreement,
31
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,873
you are then prompted to answer a
series of questions about yourself,
32
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,009
much like you'd find
on any dating app or Web site.
33
00:04:37,011 --> 00:04:39,278
Anyway, whether you decide
to answer the questions or not,
34
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,979
you are then asked
to input your goal.
35
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:44,216
And what's the most important thing
for a guy to have on the beach in LA?
36
00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:45,984
That's right, a six-pack.
37
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:50,856
So I entered my goal. "I want a ripped
six-pack to share with the ladies."
38
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:54,092
And I received my first mission
via text message...
39
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:55,994
that read, "Welcome aboard."
40
00:04:55,996 --> 00:05:00,999
You have started your journey to acquiring
a six-pack to share with the ladies."
41
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:04,536
Oh, yeah. It is on.
42
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,738
So, I set up the camera
on my phone,
43
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,474
and began filming myself
performing each exercise.
44
00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:12,244
That's me doing sit-ups,
45
00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:13,845
jogging,
46
00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,180
eating right.
47
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:19,284
Not only do I look like a bird,
now I have to eat like one, too.
48
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,687
Me want protein.
49
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,691
And now the moment of truth.
50
00:05:25,693 --> 00:05:28,694
I took a picture of myself
before the program,
51
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,129
just to do a little
"before and after" comparison.
52
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:34,132
And here's my stomach
right now.
53
00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,334
Ugh!
54
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,102
Nothing.
55
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,205
Aw. Not even a three-pack.
56
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,873
This is a one-pack.
57
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:45,477
In fact, all that broccoli just
made me feel a little bit bloated,
58
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,846
and gave me some gas.
59
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:50,482
So, it was fun because
you get to film yourself...
60
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,552
and share your pathetic dreams and
subsequent struggles with the world.
61
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,320
But it's really
not that effective...
62
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,022
in actually helping improve
oneself.
63
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,924
That's why I'm gonna
give the app I-Lived...
64
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,826
two out of five stars.
65
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,128
It's not really worth it.
66
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,730
Shit.
67
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,133
What the hell?
I hope I saved all that.
68
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:11,169
Oh, shit.
69
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,244
Oh, that's today.
70
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,879
Damn it.
71
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,170
I see you haven't moved yet.
72
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,872
Any chance of you two kids
getting back together?
73
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,774
I don't think so.
74
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,776
You should give her a call.
75
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,546
Yeah. Uh, no.
She left me. Remember?
76
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:31,983
Well, maybe if you had a real job with some
security, instead of these start-ups...
77
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,852
Dad. Really?
78
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:37,456
We sacrificed a lot
to send you to Stanford.
79
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,424
And what are you doing with it?
80
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,526
There are no real good jobs.
81
00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:46,765
So, you spend all your time online playing
with gadgets and-and video games.
82
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,934
You know I'm trying to start
my own tech company.
83
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,802
The Internet's a great place
to build a following.
84
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,604
And I'm reviewing apps because
they're popular right now,
85
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,372
and I can make tons of money
on YouTube.
86
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:54,988
Whatever.
87
00:07:55,014 --> 00:07:57,442
Well, all I'm saying is that
you are wasting your talent.
88
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:59,578
Okay, I got it.
89
00:08:01,013 --> 00:08:04,983
Okay, but don't forget
to pray for your mother.
90
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,551
Talk to you later.
91
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:10,322
You dare assault me?
92
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:13,558
You, who have done far worse
than I!
93
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,669
Fuck.
94
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,072
Hey. I'll be right out.
95
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:31,042
No, no, no. Hold up.
Check this out.
96
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:34,579
It's Mrs. Lee, your landlord.
97
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,715
Remember me?
98
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:39,651
I know your ugly ass
is in there.
99
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,053
You're not sneaky.
100
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,524
You're not gonna screw me,
you douche bag.
101
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,895
I can't believe she hasn't
evicted you yet.
102
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,330
I know. Thanks for changing your
mind at the last minute, dick.
103
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,233
I told you from the beginning I
wasn't sure if I could move in.
104
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,602
You can't afford that place, dude.
You don't have a job.
105
00:08:57,604 --> 00:08:59,137
Duh, I know.
106
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,139
Can you stop texting
and watch the fucking road?
107
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,441
Look, man, do you know
how much time it takes...
108
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,210
to maintain three dating sites
at once?
109
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,646
I know. I should have never
introduced you to those.
110
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,447
Hey, speaking of which,
I owe you big time.
111
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,683
You know how many bitches
I've banged using this method?
112
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,019
The weird thing is
I kinda believe you.
113
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:16,888
And then I look at your face, and
I'm like, there's no fucking way.
114
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,123
Oh, there's a way.
115
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,025
I'm taking care of
your ass tonight, man.
116
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:22,494
I got a couple of, uh,
European chicks lined up.
117
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:23,762
You know what that means,
don't you?
118
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,430
- What?
- Anal.
119
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,898
You're sick.
120
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,266
Watch the road, watch the road!
121
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,868
I got it. Chill out, dude.
122
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,503
Anyway, I don't need your help,
123
00:09:31,505 --> 00:09:34,706
'cause I've actually been bangin'
bitches on my own on the side.
124
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,007
Oh, is that right? Yeah, man.
125
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,676
You been bangin' bitches, huh?
Yeah, dude.
126
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:40,011
I've been, like,
fucking hard, dude.
127
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,880
Hard fuckin' 'em?
Dude, with my dick.
128
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,782
Wow. You've been fucking
girls with your dick?
129
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,383
Dude. Yep.
That's fucking great, man.
130
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,552
Gettin' it in, dude.
Puttin' it in 'em.
131
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,054
Puttin' it.
132
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,723
Can you name me one of these
girls that you put your dick in?
133
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,892
- Jill's been gettin' it.
- Jill?
134
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,027
Dude, she's... That's a
great made-up name.
135
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,596
No, she's been gettin'
the dick, dude.
136
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,764
You're doing your bobblehead thing.
It's like a woodpecker.
137
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,033
That's how I know you're lyin'.
All right, I...
138
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,969
I just don't want to get in
another relationship, okay?
139
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,971
I'm not talking about
relationships, dude.
140
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,707
I'm talking about getting
that scent back on you.
141
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:11,476
- What scent?
- The scent... of vagina.
142
00:10:11,478 --> 00:10:13,144
Ugh. You're so creepy, dude.
143
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,447
It's the scent that lets ladies
know you don't need 'em.
144
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,717
Because you get laid all the time, man.
Bitches love that scent.
145
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:20,385
So, what we're gonna do
is we're gonna refocus.
146
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,587
We're gonna hook you up with a
couple of hotties tonight, man.
147
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:25,557
'Cause I swear to God, you could
do a lot better than that.
148
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,626
My ex was super cute.
No, she wasn't, man.
149
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:30,148
She had a big nose,
and... Fuck you, dude.
150
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:33,698
That was debatable.
Marie Helen.
151
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,234
Bonjour, mon petit poussin.
152
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,970
That means "little chicken."
It's French.
153
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,474
Yes, this is Bobby Yen. I'll
be there in a minute, baby.
154
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,976
Okay. Okay, bye.
155
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,879
Why are you talking
with a French accent?
156
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:51,049
Dude... I'm Filipino.
157
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,785
Oh. Where did you go?
158
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,087
I had to go to the bathroom.
I was takin' a piss.
159
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,789
You were gone for a while.
160
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,091
- Yeah, I take long, long pisses.
- Oh. That's...
161
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,826
You look great, by the way.
I love this.
162
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,461
Oh, thanks. It's a necklace.
163
00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,462
Yeah, it's a great necklace.
164
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,830
Thank you.
165
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:10,135
- Anyways, where's your friend at?
- Oh, she got sick.
166
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,411
Hey, Josh.
167
00:11:19,413 --> 00:11:23,014
The friend, she got sick. She's
not showin' up. I'm sorry.
168
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,951
Yeah. I'm-I'm cool.
Don't worry about it.
169
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,920
We can get the fuck out of here
if you want.
170
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,523
- No, it's cool. You just owe me.
- We're cool?
171
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:35,193
Better, uh, watch out. Looks like
some guy's moving in on your turf.
172
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,895
All right.
173
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:26,044
Yo. What the hell is that?
174
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:29,614
Oh. Uh, nothing.
175
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,082
You just buy a girl
a drink, dude?
176
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,718
No. I drink these all the time.
177
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,453
Yeah, you did. Which one?
178
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:41,159
Ooh. She's hot.
179
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,128
Hey. Now's your chance.
Go get it.
180
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,830
No way. Did you see the way she
just dissed that Abercrombie guy?
181
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,098
I don't have a chance, man.
182
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,400
All those good-looking guys
are gay.
183
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:52,203
Now go over there and do your thing, man.
Be yourself.
184
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:57,208
Like a... like a cool version
of yourself. You know?
185
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,511
The sky's the limit, you're
the man, all that shit.
186
00:12:59,513 --> 00:13:01,312
Go get it. Have fun.
187
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:14,392
I bet you're a Kamikaze girl.
188
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,729
Are you asking me
if I have a death wish?
189
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:19,764
No. What...
190
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:23,568
What? Like, the drink...
Like... Kamikazes?
191
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,003
No. Sorry.
192
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:28,273
Okay, sorry I asked.
193
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,610
What? That's it?
194
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,078
I'm sorry?
195
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,147
You said that already.
196
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:41,886
Right. Okay, uh, it's just a drink
that I thought you might enjoy.
197
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,655
That's... That's it.
198
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,824
You could just ask a girl.
199
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:48,092
Yeah, I could do that.
200
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,061
Or are you too macho?
201
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,564
You're the kinda guy who thinks
he knows what a woman wants.
202
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,302
- Do you like to take charge of a woman?
- No! It...
203
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,971
Wait a second,
is this a trick question?
204
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,973
Tricky question.
205
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:08,346
- Right. Okay.
- Um...
206
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,082
May I offer you ladies
a beverage this evening?
207
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:19,490
You're cute. I don't know.
What do you think?
208
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,492
- Come on.
- Mm-mmm, no.
209
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,161
All right.
210
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:26,164
Pull up a chair.
211
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,233
She has terrible taste in men.
212
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:45,116
I just want to say... Shh.
213
00:14:59,598 --> 00:15:02,066
Good night, Josh.
214
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,404
Good night.
215
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,323
You are getting sleepy,
216
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:02,827
very sleepy.
217
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,930
All other noise
has been drowned out.
218
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:09,267
My stress is completely gone.
219
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:13,538
I'm about to fall asleep.
220
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,143
White Noise is the name of the app,
and it comes with a video option.
221
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,746
That's why I'm gonna give it
three out of five stars.
222
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:28,386
And now, I'd like to thank
all of you...
223
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,388
who've been liking me
on all the social networks,
224
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,156
and for all of you
new subscribers.
225
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:35,693
We're almost 300 strong.
That is awesome!
226
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:40,531
Dad, are you proud of me yet?
227
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,967
I'm doin' everything I can
out here in Hollywood.
228
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,003
I'm tryin' as hard as I can.
229
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,504
All right.
That's enough, Michael Caine.
230
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,040
And this brings me back
to the app...
231
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,509
that I reviewed
just several days ago.
232
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,745
I-Lived.
233
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:56,748
And I may have been
just a little bit too harsh...
234
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:59,417
in my first evaluation
because...
235
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:02,653
it's a lot more clever
than I initially thought, see?
236
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:05,823
It used the GPS on my phone to actually
track the bar that I was in...
237
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,726
to connect me with the one cute
girl that I had my eye on.
238
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,095
Not that the app
had anything to do...
239
00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:13,231
with actually knowing
who that person was,
240
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:16,000
but it still gave me the courage
to step to that person.
241
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,869
Ja. Exactly.
242
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:22,040
So, here is a picture
of my cheating ex-girlfriend.
243
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:26,077
And here is a picture
of the girl...
244
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:30,415
that the app miraculously
got me talking to.
245
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,885
It's like one
is a Victoria's Secret model,
246
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,953
and the other one's a bitch.
247
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,256
So, that's why
I feel like this app...
248
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,525
deserves a little bit more
in-depth analysis,
249
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,361
or what I like to call
a
J-TECH double take.
250
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,197
D-D-Double take. Double take.
251
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,399
The first thing I did
was click on the user reviews...
252
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,334
to see what others are saying
about the app,
253
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:52,103
and it linked back
to the Web site,
254
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:53,771
where I found a bunch
of actual testimonials.
255
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,674
This app has totally
changed my life.
256
00:17:56,676 --> 00:18:01,112
When I started using it,
about, um, six months ago,
257
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,647
I was afraid of everything.
258
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,616
I was afraid of heights,
I was afraid of traveling,
259
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:09,120
and I just walked
over the Golden Gate Bridge.
260
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:11,022
Um, I've lived here
my whole life,
261
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:15,560
and I'm terrified of heights,
and I did it.
262
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:19,430
It changed me. I mean, it
totally changed my life.
263
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,800
All right.
Then there's this guy.
264
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,469
Whoo!
265
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:27,738
I'd always wanted to be a pilot,
so I got on I-Lived.
266
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:31,008
And now here I am,
landing a B-17!
267
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,544
And it's all because of I-Lived.
268
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:45,857
I-Lived.
269
00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:48,292
Weird. There's a lot of
wackos using this thing,
270
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:51,863
just like every other app, but this actually
seems to be working for a lot of people.
271
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:54,832
So, I'm finally ready to start
taking this thing seriously,
272
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,734
and enter a new goal.
273
00:18:57,236 --> 00:18:59,804
Make Greta...
274
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:03,541
my new girlfriend.
275
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,511
'Cause makin' out with a chick
in a bar is one thing,
276
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:10,848
but cl-cl-closing the deal
is a whole nother animal.
277
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:16,921
It could be a big job
for I-Lived.
278
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:18,322
Incoming message.
279
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,225
"Girls like nice guys."
280
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:24,095
"Do something nice
for six people."
281
00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:25,496
All right.
282
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,199
Let the experiment begin.
283
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,568
I'm signing off.
But until then, I'm Josh.
284
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:33,838
This has been
J-TECH.
P-p-p-peace out.
285
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,563
You been here all day. You
gotta shake the spot.
286
00:19:43,589 --> 00:19:44,507
Time for you to go.
287
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,321
Thank you very much. Thank you.
288
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,223
Yeah, please.
Thank you for your help.
289
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,147
Can I help you across
the street real quick?
290
00:19:54,173 --> 00:19:54,659
Uh, no.
291
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,494
Are you sure? Yeah. I'm sure.
292
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:58,729
Hey, hey. I'm helping your dog.
293
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,232
Put this dog down. Jesus. Sorry.
294
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:03,201
Who are you?
I just wanted to help.
295
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,069
All right,
that definitely didn't work.
296
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,574
Who wants some candy?
297
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:12,977
Here's a lollipop
for the big boy.
298
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,900
What the fuck?
299
00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:16,073
Bitch.
300
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,476
Goddamn it.
301
00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:37,862
Hello?
302
00:22:24,743 --> 00:22:29,480
So, we've just put the celery,
onions and carrots in here to sauté.
303
00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:31,048
We're gonna bring it back,
and...
304
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:35,252
This should be called the Cougar
Cooking Class, 'cause, you know...
305
00:22:40,793 --> 00:22:44,428
Now, remember, this is a very,
very male dance.
306
00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:47,131
You have to be very strong.
Now take me 'round.
307
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,334
Very good.
308
00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:52,737
"One hour to madness and joy!"
309
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:54,739
O furious! O confine me not!
310
00:22:54,741 --> 00:22:57,141
What is this that
frees me so in storms?
311
00:22:57,143 --> 00:22:59,844
What do my shouts amid lightnings
and raging winds mean?
312
00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:01,445
- O savage!
- O...
313
00:23:01,447 --> 00:23:03,381
Hey, man. We're trying to
have some coffee here.
314
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,449
That's Walt Whiteman, you jerk.
315
00:23:05,451 --> 00:23:07,385
First of all, it's Whitman.
316
00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:10,955
What man? Not "what
man?" Whitman.
317
00:23:10,957 --> 00:23:12,490
It's Walt Whitman.
318
00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:14,925
Whatever, dude.
No culture in LA.
319
00:23:30,275 --> 00:23:32,143
All right. We're done.
320
00:23:50,530 --> 00:23:54,465
That's crazy. I lived
the exact same thing.
321
00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,634
Yeah, well,
no more blind faith for me...
322
00:23:56,636 --> 00:23:59,103
when it come to
matters of the heart.
323
00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,471
Well...
324
00:24:00,473 --> 00:24:02,907
I'm not gonna let some
crazy narcissist ruin it...
325
00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:05,910
for all the good girls
out there.
326
00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:08,913
Oh, so you're like a philanthropist?
No, no, no.
327
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:12,917
Uh, more like a
humanitarian
and a poet.
328
00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:16,454
Oh, really? A poet.
329
00:24:16,456 --> 00:24:19,557
"One hour to madness and joy!"
330
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:22,092
O furious! O confine me not!
331
00:24:22,094 --> 00:24:24,929
What is this that frees
me so in storms?
332
00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:28,933
What do my shouts amid lightnings
and raging winds mean?
333
00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:33,204
O to drink the mystic deliria
deeper than any other man!
334
00:24:33,206 --> 00:24:36,273
"O savage and tender achings."
335
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:45,216
"and you to be yielded to me,
in defiance of the world!"
336
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:53,424
"O to return to Paradise."
337
00:24:53,426 --> 00:24:55,759
O bashful and feminine,
338
00:24:55,761 --> 00:24:58,896
O to draw you to me,
339
00:24:58,898 --> 00:25:01,932
to plant on you
for the first time,
340
00:25:01,934 --> 00:25:05,169
"the lips of a determined man."
341
00:25:06,439 --> 00:25:08,873
"O to be absolved from previous
ties and conventions."
342
00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:11,642
I from mine,
and you from yours!
343
00:25:11,644 --> 00:25:14,712
"O madness amorous!
O trembling!"
344
00:25:14,714 --> 00:25:17,281
"To drive free! To love free!"
345
00:25:17,283 --> 00:25:20,718
To dash reckless and dangerous!
346
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,555
To court destruction
with taunts,
347
00:25:24,557 --> 00:25:27,525
with invitations.
348
00:25:27,527 --> 00:25:33,097
To ascend, to leap to the heavens
of the love indicated to me.
349
00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:36,333
To rise thither
with my inebriate soul!
350
00:25:36,335 --> 00:25:39,203
To be lost, if it must be so!
351
00:25:39,205 --> 00:25:44,441
To feed the remainder of life with
one hour of fullness and freedom.
352
00:25:44,443 --> 00:25:49,313
"With one brief hour
of madness and joy."
353
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:54,451
One hour?
354
00:25:54,453 --> 00:25:56,186
Two?
355
00:26:10,870 --> 00:26:13,003
Is that a dolphin?
356
00:26:20,111 --> 00:26:22,746
Again. Now.
357
00:26:25,350 --> 00:26:28,185
- Just hang on.
- Okay.
358
00:26:54,913 --> 00:26:56,447
There's also a check list...
359
00:26:56,449 --> 00:27:01,018
to keep track of all those
hot, steamy, sexy positions,
360
00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:04,788
as well as a rating system
for your performance.
361
00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:07,391
Imperative for any man...
362
00:27:07,393 --> 00:27:08,892
except me.
363
00:27:08,894 --> 00:27:11,562
'Cause I am a jaguar
in the sheets.
364
00:27:13,899 --> 00:27:16,634
That's why I give
"Kama Sutra... Love Journey,"
365
00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:18,769
four out of five stars.
366
00:27:18,771 --> 00:27:21,271
And to the makers of this app...
367
00:27:21,273 --> 00:27:24,074
You had me at "sex position."
368
00:27:24,076 --> 00:27:27,044
And for those of you who have
commented on my Facebook status...
369
00:27:27,046 --> 00:27:30,981
from going to "single" to "in-in-in
a relationship," sorry, ladies.
370
00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:33,684
I'm not available.
I'm off the market now.
371
00:27:33,686 --> 00:27:36,153
You're probably noticing
that the app I-Lived,
372
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:38,876
the experiment that I've been
doing, is going pretty well.
373
00:27:40,192 --> 00:27:42,960
And, by the increasing number of
users who have downloaded the app,
374
00:27:42,962 --> 00:27:46,130
it looks like it's going
pretty well for you guys too.
375
00:27:46,132 --> 00:27:47,998
There have been some updates
to the Web site,
376
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,566
most notably
the private setting,
377
00:27:49,568 --> 00:27:51,669
just in case you're too
embarrassed to show the world...
378
00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:53,671
what you're willing to do
to better yourself.
379
00:27:53,673 --> 00:27:55,205
It's a shame
from this reviewer's standpoint,
380
00:27:55,207 --> 00:27:56,907
because it provided hours
of great comedy.
381
00:27:56,909 --> 00:27:59,576
Now, I'm gonna put the app
to the test with this next goal.
382
00:27:59,578 --> 00:28:02,446
Get one...
383
00:28:02,448 --> 00:28:05,482
million viewers.
384
00:28:05,484 --> 00:28:07,217
No.
385
00:28:07,219 --> 00:28:12,389
Eight million viewers!
386
00:28:12,391 --> 00:28:15,125
Viewers!
387
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:13,717
Might I say that
this
is a person dressed for success.
388
00:29:13,719 --> 00:29:15,352
It's almost a perfect fit.
389
00:29:15,354 --> 00:29:17,821
Just a little bit on the
inseam and the sleeves,
390
00:29:17,823 --> 00:29:21,558
and the world is yours to take,
looking like that.
391
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,027
How much is it?
This one's $2300.
392
00:29:24,029 --> 00:29:27,197
And you're looking at about
$2700 with alterations.
393
00:29:27,199 --> 00:29:29,399
Okay. Yeah.
394
00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:31,783
Do you, uh, have something
in a different fabric?
395
00:29:31,809 --> 00:29:32,736
Maybe a bit darker?
396
00:29:32,738 --> 00:29:34,972
I think I might.
Yeah, let me take a look.
397
00:29:37,408 --> 00:29:39,309
What do you think?
398
00:29:39,311 --> 00:29:41,078
Hot.
399
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,314
You think? Yeah, babe.
400
00:29:44,316 --> 00:29:48,352
If you want to dress for success,
that's the way to do it.
401
00:29:48,354 --> 00:29:50,547
Do you mind getting the
car while I pay for this?
402
00:29:50,573 --> 00:29:51,688
I gotta get back to work.
403
00:29:51,690 --> 00:29:53,690
You're getting it?
404
00:29:53,692 --> 00:29:56,193
You said hot, right?
405
00:29:58,830 --> 00:30:01,865
Like, "I want that guy" hot.
406
00:30:01,867 --> 00:30:04,368
Seriously. Get the car.
407
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,754
Oy! Sorry.
408
00:30:23,756 --> 00:30:25,222
Oy, where are you going?
409
00:30:25,224 --> 00:30:26,523
Hey!
410
00:30:26,525 --> 00:30:29,493
Hang on, mate! Hey!
411
00:30:31,029 --> 00:30:32,863
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. I'm fine.
412
00:30:32,865 --> 00:30:34,064
Let's go.
413
00:30:34,066 --> 00:30:35,265
Hey! Come back here!
414
00:30:35,267 --> 00:30:37,334
Come on. Go, go, go!
415
00:30:40,472 --> 00:30:45,108
Behold your ruin
and witness my escape,
416
00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:48,545
into the Kingdom of Purgatory,
417
00:30:48,547 --> 00:30:51,181
and Paradise!
418
00:30:56,254 --> 00:30:57,654
Yes!
419
00:30:57,656 --> 00:31:01,258
Dude, I've been tryin' to beat
that level for God knows how long.
420
00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:04,094
You got chicks
coming over, man?
421
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:06,096
It's probably just my landlord.
422
00:31:06,098 --> 00:31:09,433
- You still haven't paid the rent?
- Fuck that bitch.
423
00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:12,970
Oh, we got a badass over here.
424
00:31:12,972 --> 00:31:14,773
I'm gonna get it, man.
425
00:31:16,941 --> 00:31:19,142
A real tough guy, huh?
426
00:31:20,946 --> 00:31:23,107
Hey, listen here, little lady...
427
00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:42,132
Fuckin' weirdo.
428
00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:45,369
It's not even raining.
429
00:31:45,371 --> 00:31:48,138
Hey, man, you got some
weird-ass...
430
00:31:48,140 --> 00:31:51,708
Sure. Monday for
coffee sounds great.
431
00:31:51,710 --> 00:31:55,312
All right, cool. See you then.
432
00:31:55,314 --> 00:31:59,416
Some guy out of the UK is in town and wants
to give me a job at this major tech site.
433
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,418
He said they're gonna pay me
a salary.
434
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,940
Nice. Now maybe you can quit
hiding in your own house.
435
00:32:07,191 --> 00:32:09,826
"Always be firm
and stand your ground."
436
00:32:09,828 --> 00:32:12,129
That's the spirit.
437
00:32:12,131 --> 00:32:14,631
That's a good one.
I may use that one, Josh.
438
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,565
Dude...
439
00:32:48,567 --> 00:32:50,901
there's a line.
440
00:32:50,903 --> 00:32:52,569
Yeah? And?
441
00:32:52,571 --> 00:32:53,737
You just cut it.
442
00:32:54,906 --> 00:32:56,747
What are you gonna do about it?
443
00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:01,645
It's cool, man.
Yeah, I thought so.
444
00:33:16,462 --> 00:33:19,296
- Are you Joshua?
- Yes.
445
00:33:19,298 --> 00:33:20,697
Sit, sit.
446
00:33:21,532 --> 00:33:23,333
Just "Josh" is fine.
447
00:33:24,969 --> 00:33:27,838
Josh from
J-TECH.
448
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,708
I'm Roberto Luis and I love your
little show, mate. Gotta tell you.
449
00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:33,977
Love how you mix your
personality with the reviews.
450
00:33:33,979 --> 00:33:35,579
It's fresh. It's personal.
451
00:33:35,581 --> 00:33:38,281
And most of all, it really
inspires trust in your audience.
452
00:33:38,283 --> 00:33:39,783
- Coffee?
- I'm good. I've got...
453
00:33:39,785 --> 00:33:41,985
And let's face it, we're all
trying to sell something.
454
00:33:41,987 --> 00:33:46,256
Advertising, technology,
entertainment, right?
455
00:33:46,258 --> 00:33:49,359
- Are you the only writer?
- Yep. Just me.
456
00:33:49,827 --> 00:33:51,461
Incredible.
457
00:33:51,463 --> 00:33:55,932
Well, I may have an interesting
proposition for you, mate.
458
00:33:55,934 --> 00:33:57,834
How would you like to have
your own show...
459
00:33:57,836 --> 00:34:00,957
on a site that has over eight
million viewers worldwide?
460
00:34:05,810 --> 00:34:08,178
Did you say eight million?
461
00:34:17,623 --> 00:34:19,456
Oh, fuck.
462
00:34:32,638 --> 00:34:34,638
What the hell is this?
Aaah!
463
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,974
Whoo! Look at that hot bitch!
464
00:34:37,976 --> 00:34:41,478
I-lived! I-lived! I-lived!
I-lived! I-lived!
465
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,047
You are slaves. I'm a slave.
466
00:34:44,049 --> 00:34:45,982
We're all slaves!
467
00:34:45,984 --> 00:34:50,520
Not to God or the government, but
to the aliens who live among us!
468
00:34:50,522 --> 00:34:54,691
Beware! The technological
alien invasion is coming!
469
00:35:00,131 --> 00:35:02,299
Who the hell are these people?
470
00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:07,838
Wait a second,
I know this dude.
471
00:35:13,177 --> 00:35:15,278
Jeremy Otto.
472
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,148
Weird.
473
00:35:22,553 --> 00:35:24,054
He was using the app.
474
00:35:24,056 --> 00:35:26,890
Dude... there's a line.
475
00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:28,859
Yeah? And?
476
00:35:29,861 --> 00:35:31,361
You just cut it.
477
00:35:31,363 --> 00:35:33,163
What are you gonna do about it?
478
00:35:33,165 --> 00:35:34,865
It's cool, man.
479
00:35:34,867 --> 00:35:36,600
Yeah, I thought so.
480
00:36:15,439 --> 00:36:17,474
Can I get a beer
and a kamikaze?
481
00:36:17,476 --> 00:36:20,010
One more time?
A beer and a kamikaze!
482
00:36:20,012 --> 00:36:21,478
Yeah. Sure.
483
00:36:23,447 --> 00:36:25,048
Hello?
484
00:36:31,656 --> 00:36:33,056
Hey.
485
00:36:33,058 --> 00:36:34,324
What's your favorite animal?
486
00:36:34,326 --> 00:36:36,059
I don't know.
487
00:36:36,061 --> 00:36:38,428
Excuse me. Ugh.
488
00:36:38,430 --> 00:36:40,297
I guess it's, like,
pugs or something.
489
00:36:40,299 --> 00:36:42,465
They're cute,
they got scrunchy faces.
490
00:36:42,467 --> 00:36:44,834
You're staring. It's weird.
Can I get a drink?
491
00:36:45,736 --> 00:36:47,637
Here you go.
492
00:36:47,639 --> 00:36:49,206
Uh, Greta's tab?
493
00:36:49,208 --> 00:36:51,708
Uh, yeah. All right.
494
00:36:51,710 --> 00:36:54,878
Hi. Nice to meet you.
495
00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:26,770
Dad?
496
00:38:28,372 --> 00:38:30,373
What are you doing?
497
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,810
Where's Mom?
498
00:38:49,660 --> 00:38:51,061
Mom?
499
00:38:55,032 --> 00:38:56,833
I'm home.
500
00:39:02,873 --> 00:39:04,674
What's the matter?
501
00:39:09,613 --> 00:39:11,014
Mom?
502
00:39:19,123 --> 00:39:21,758
Oh, shit! Sorry.
503
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:24,060
- Let's go in here.
504
00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:26,963
What happened?
505
00:39:28,232 --> 00:39:29,933
What do you mean?
506
00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:32,435
We rushed out of there.
507
00:39:35,740 --> 00:39:40,377
I, uh, just wanted
to be alone with you.
508
00:39:43,914 --> 00:39:47,250
Okay, good. Me too.
509
00:39:55,493 --> 00:39:57,427
This is, yes.
510
00:39:58,462 --> 00:40:00,163
That's great.
511
00:40:01,932 --> 00:40:04,234
Okay.
512
00:40:04,236 --> 00:40:06,102
Of course I have a lawyer.
513
00:40:07,605 --> 00:40:10,407
Sure. I'll do that.
514
00:40:11,809 --> 00:40:13,410
Okay, great.
515
00:40:14,311 --> 00:40:16,045
Talk to you later.
516
00:40:19,617 --> 00:40:21,818
I guess I have to find
a lawyer.
517
00:40:22,286 --> 00:40:24,521
You got the job.
518
00:40:24,523 --> 00:40:26,289
I think I got the job.
519
00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:27,891
You think?
520
00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:34,164
I got the job.
521
00:41:20,811 --> 00:41:24,948
Hey, what's up? It's so late.
522
00:41:24,950 --> 00:41:27,517
I had to try, just in
case you were awake.
523
00:41:27,519 --> 00:41:29,586
What's going on?
Are you guys okay?
524
00:41:29,588 --> 00:41:31,588
Praise the Lord.
525
00:41:31,590 --> 00:41:33,823
The doctors can't explain it.
526
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:37,727
They said they think
she's in total remission.
527
00:41:37,729 --> 00:41:39,963
It's a miracle.
528
00:41:39,965 --> 00:41:43,399
A complete reversal
in three weeks.
529
00:41:43,401 --> 00:41:45,969
What? How is that possible?
530
00:41:45,971 --> 00:41:49,038
I don't know.
531
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,040
Last week
she was in such pain...
532
00:41:51,042 --> 00:41:53,203
that she wanted
to take her own life.
533
00:41:54,912 --> 00:41:58,748
I told her it would keep her
out of heaven if she did.
534
00:41:58,750 --> 00:42:01,384
She wanted to kill herself?
535
00:42:01,386 --> 00:42:03,086
Why didn't you call me?
536
00:42:03,088 --> 00:42:07,056
I... I wanted to
help her do it.
537
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:13,530
I'm so ashamed to say it, but...
538
00:42:13,532 --> 00:42:15,865
I love her so much.
539
00:42:17,735 --> 00:42:19,702
I know you love her, Dad.
540
00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:23,940
Now she's gonna be okay.
Gonna be all right.
541
00:42:24,508 --> 00:42:26,709
I tried, Son.
542
00:42:26,711 --> 00:42:29,212
The Lord is rewarding us.
543
00:42:29,214 --> 00:42:31,748
I can't believe it.
544
00:42:31,750 --> 00:42:36,319
Now, you should
go back to sleep.
545
00:42:36,321 --> 00:42:40,790
-
I love you, Son.
- Dad, who... who's at the house with you?
546
00:42:40,792 --> 00:42:42,859
Just me and your mom.
547
00:42:42,861 --> 00:42:46,162
It's 4:00 in the morning.
548
00:42:46,164 --> 00:42:50,300
Dad, I can see someone
sitting at the sofa chair.
549
00:42:52,369 --> 00:42:54,504
What are you talkin' about?
550
00:43:39,183 --> 00:43:40,817
Damn it.
551
00:43:48,392 --> 00:43:50,693
Greta?
552
00:43:50,695 --> 00:43:54,330
I didn't upload the video.
553
00:43:54,332 --> 00:43:55,965
What?
554
00:43:56,567 --> 00:44:00,069
The video for the app.
555
00:44:00,071 --> 00:44:03,740
I usually have to upload the
video, and then things happen.
556
00:44:03,742 --> 00:44:07,243
I got the job, and I didn't
upload the last video.
557
00:44:09,313 --> 00:44:12,515
You got the job because...
558
00:44:12,517 --> 00:44:14,984
you are talented.
559
00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:17,286
And because you know
your stuff.
560
00:44:19,723 --> 00:44:22,759
Not because of some stupid app.
561
00:44:25,195 --> 00:44:27,096
Come back to bed.
562
00:44:39,910 --> 00:44:42,145
Are you done with it yet?
563
00:44:53,223 --> 00:44:56,726
Yeah, I am.
564
00:45:05,135 --> 00:45:06,969
What's great about this app...
565
00:45:06,971 --> 00:45:08,938
is you can access
all your cameras...
566
00:45:08,940 --> 00:45:11,007
right from your phone,
anywhere in the world.
567
00:45:11,009 --> 00:45:13,209
So, let's say you're goin'
out of town,
568
00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:15,745
and you're leaving your kids behind
'cause you don't wanna take 'em.
569
00:45:15,747 --> 00:45:18,414
Or maybe you got that wife that's
creepin' around, she's cheatin'.
570
00:45:18,416 --> 00:45:19,782
You can check on her too.
571
00:45:19,784 --> 00:45:22,552
Or maybe you got somebody that
might be breakin' into your house.
572
00:45:22,554 --> 00:45:24,921
You can check on your house
from anywhere in the world.
573
00:45:24,923 --> 00:45:26,389
That's what's pretty cool
about this.
574
00:45:26,391 --> 00:45:28,658
There's also a la-la-la-la-
loop feature,
575
00:45:28,660 --> 00:45:31,861
which allows you to flip from camera
to camera without even doing anything.
576
00:45:31,863 --> 00:45:34,931
And that's why I give this app
four out of five stars.
577
00:45:34,933 --> 00:45:37,033
Which brings me
to my next announcement!
578
00:45:37,035 --> 00:45:38,768
Yours truly,
J-TECH,
579
00:45:38,770 --> 00:45:43,072
is about to make a huge deal with
the enormous tech site, Tekker.org.
580
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:44,073
Ah.
581
00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:46,342
I'm gonna be hostin'
their app review show.
582
00:45:46,344 --> 00:45:49,479
Because I'm gonna be actually
getting paid money.
583
00:45:49,481 --> 00:45:52,315
Dolla, dolla bill.
584
00:45:52,317 --> 00:45:53,916
Now, hold up.
585
00:45:53,918 --> 00:45:55,952
Hold up. Hold up.
586
00:45:55,954 --> 00:46:00,556
I know some of you purists out there
are, like, "Josh, you sellin' out, okay?"
587
00:46:00,558 --> 00:46:03,359
Because you not gonna be
little
J-TECH anymore.
588
00:46:03,361 --> 00:46:06,229
You gonna be big
J-TECH!"
And I get it, okay?
589
00:46:06,231 --> 00:46:08,364
I'm not sellin' out,
because you guys...
590
00:46:08,366 --> 00:46:11,834
are gonna be part of a much larger
network of dorks around the world.
591
00:46:11,836 --> 00:46:13,636
Around the world.
592
00:46:13,638 --> 00:46:17,874
Oh, and for those of you who have been
following the I-Lived app experiment,
593
00:46:17,876 --> 00:46:19,976
check this out motherfuckers!
594
00:46:19,978 --> 00:46:21,811
Six-pack, bitches!
595
00:46:21,813 --> 00:46:25,081
I'm Josh from
J-TECH.
Peace out, bitches.
596
00:46:29,319 --> 00:46:31,921
I do a lot of push-ups.
You know, in my spare time.
597
00:46:31,923 --> 00:46:33,956
It's all I do.
598
00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:35,158
Hey. What's up, man?
599
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,826
This is a great party, huh?
Yeah.
600
00:46:36,828 --> 00:46:37,927
Hey, this is Alex.
601
00:46:37,929 --> 00:46:39,328
Hey. Nice to meet you.
602
00:46:39,330 --> 00:46:40,963
Hey, have you seen Greta
anywhere?
603
00:46:40,965 --> 00:46:43,666
Greta? I don't remember
what she looks like.
604
00:46:43,668 --> 00:46:46,335
- Whoa.
- Excuse me.
605
00:46:49,506 --> 00:46:51,107
Excuse me.
606
00:46:55,779 --> 00:46:57,547
Stop.
607
00:47:20,871 --> 00:47:23,206
You wanna get outta here?
Absolutely.
608
00:47:26,978 --> 00:47:29,212
Can you give me a second?
609
00:47:29,214 --> 00:47:30,980
Two minutes.
610
00:47:33,217 --> 00:47:35,251
Josh...
611
00:47:35,253 --> 00:47:36,619
come on.
612
00:47:36,621 --> 00:47:40,323
You're a great guy, and I have
a lot of fun with you, but...
613
00:47:41,191 --> 00:47:43,459
I made myself pretty clear.
614
00:47:44,595 --> 00:47:46,429
No strings attached, remember?
615
00:47:47,631 --> 00:47:50,166
No. I don't remember.
616
00:47:50,168 --> 00:47:53,502
What did you think
this was gonna be, really?
617
00:47:54,304 --> 00:47:57,306
Nothing. Whatever.
618
00:47:57,308 --> 00:47:59,976
You're hurt.
619
00:48:00,744 --> 00:48:02,511
We're all good.
620
00:49:42,846 --> 00:49:45,648
Yes. Joshua Fosse.
621
00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:48,784
He was supposed to call and talk
to me about the terms of my...
622
00:49:48,786 --> 00:49:50,353
Well, can I talk to him?
623
00:50:04,368 --> 00:50:06,802
Can I help you?
624
00:50:06,804 --> 00:50:09,705
Yeah. Uh, hi. Mr. Luis, please.
625
00:50:09,707 --> 00:50:13,442
He's unavailable. I told
you that on the phone.
626
00:50:13,444 --> 00:50:15,544
No, you said he didn't know me.
627
00:50:15,546 --> 00:50:18,066
I've been calling for, like, three days.
How do you...
628
00:50:22,152 --> 00:50:23,300
Is that his office there?
629
00:50:23,326 --> 00:50:25,688
Please. I don't want to
have to call security.
630
00:50:25,690 --> 00:50:28,057
Who is that?
631
00:50:28,059 --> 00:50:30,893
- Sir...
- Who is he meeting with in there?
632
00:50:30,895 --> 00:50:33,396
Mr. Luis!
633
00:50:33,398 --> 00:50:34,930
Mr. Luis!
634
00:50:34,932 --> 00:50:37,233
Mr. Luis!
635
00:50:39,269 --> 00:50:41,504
- Roberto!
- Come on, man, just chill out...
636
00:50:41,506 --> 00:50:44,373
or I have to call the cops.
Why don't
you chill out?
637
00:50:44,375 --> 00:50:47,143
Why don't you all
just chill out?
638
00:51:38,696 --> 00:51:40,296
Yes!
639
00:51:45,937 --> 00:51:47,570
Fuck!
640
00:52:51,334 --> 00:52:53,769
911. What is your emergency?
641
00:52:53,771 --> 00:52:56,238
Yeah, somebody broke into my garage.
What is your address?
642
00:52:56,240 --> 00:52:59,108
233 North Norton Avenue.
643
00:52:59,110 --> 00:53:00,509
Hello?
644
00:53:01,678 --> 00:53:02,811
Hello?
645
00:53:02,813 --> 00:53:04,780
Fuck.
646
00:54:23,293 --> 00:54:25,261
Joshua.
647
00:54:35,038 --> 00:54:36,572
You all right?
648
00:54:36,574 --> 00:54:39,408
You've been out for a while.
Can you sit up?
649
00:54:39,410 --> 00:54:41,944
I'm Detective McQuee.
Here's my card.
650
00:54:41,946 --> 00:54:45,347
If the guy comes back, just
give me a call. All right.
651
00:54:51,822 --> 00:54:53,155
Dad.
652
00:54:53,157 --> 00:54:56,225
What's going on?
I'm at the hospital.
653
00:54:56,227 --> 00:54:58,060
Where's Mom?
654
00:54:58,062 --> 00:55:00,963
She's in the ICU.
655
00:55:00,965 --> 00:55:04,867
I thought you said she was getting better.
We need to pray, Son.
656
00:55:04,869 --> 00:55:08,337
You said she getting better!
She was.
657
00:55:08,339 --> 00:55:12,541
I don't know what happened, but
she took a turn for the worse.
658
00:55:12,543 --> 00:55:15,678
How bad?
She's in a coma.
659
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:17,780
Fuck.
660
00:55:17,782 --> 00:55:20,983
Pray with me, Son.
Will you stop with that?
661
00:55:20,985 --> 00:55:23,452
You're always praying for her.
What has that ever gotten you?
662
00:55:23,454 --> 00:55:25,521
I'm scared.
663
00:55:25,523 --> 00:55:27,823
I know the feeling.
664
00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:31,694
Please. Pray with me, Son.
665
00:55:31,696 --> 00:55:33,962
I'm gonna hang up now, okay?
666
00:56:20,143 --> 00:56:22,978
"Devil I."
667
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:11,627
Oh.
668
00:57:38,087 --> 00:57:39,087
Hey!
669
00:58:26,870 --> 00:58:30,305
I mean, that is the craziest
shit that I've ever heard.
670
00:58:30,307 --> 00:58:33,942
I think you might want to lay
off the computers for a while.
671
00:58:33,944 --> 00:58:36,612
I saw this guy following me.
672
00:58:36,614 --> 00:58:38,680
He was in my house.
673
00:58:38,682 --> 00:58:40,549
The same guy
in my parent's house.
674
00:58:40,551 --> 00:58:44,486
A guy in a black trench coat teleported
from your parents' house in Michigan...
675
00:58:44,488 --> 00:58:45,954
to your house through Skype?
676
00:58:45,956 --> 00:58:49,157
Teleporting?
I'm fucking serious, dude.
677
00:58:49,159 --> 00:58:51,927
I mean, I don't know, man.
Did you read the user agreement?
678
00:58:54,197 --> 00:58:56,031
What did I sign?
679
00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:57,799
I was just
messing with you, man.
680
00:58:57,801 --> 00:59:00,168
No, it makes sense.
No, it doesn't.
681
00:59:00,170 --> 00:59:03,138
You didn't sign your soul away
on your iPhone, all right?
682
00:59:03,140 --> 00:59:06,021
I'm gonna break it down for you.
Here we go...
683
00:59:06,047 --> 00:59:08,043
Greta? She's out of your league.
684
00:59:08,045 --> 00:59:10,979
She's smart. She's older.
She has money.
685
00:59:10,981 --> 00:59:12,714
She's fuckin' hot.
686
00:59:12,716 --> 00:59:14,950
I'm mean, she's probably,
uh, just geeking it.
687
00:59:14,952 --> 00:59:16,952
And this UK web site thing,
right?
688
00:59:16,954 --> 00:59:22,057
It's a start-up, so it's worth a billion dollars
today and then tomorrow they're bankrupt.
689
00:59:22,059 --> 00:59:23,692
And your mom? Dude.
690
00:59:23,694 --> 00:59:26,662
I'm sorry to say this, but she's
been terminal for almost a year now.
691
00:59:26,664 --> 00:59:30,832
I mean, you told be back then she'd be
lucky to make it past three months.
692
00:59:30,834 --> 00:59:33,702
So, I don't know what this
thing's doing to your head,
693
00:59:33,704 --> 00:59:36,638
but it's not responsible for what's
happened in your life... You are.
694
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:39,341
This thing is real.
695
00:59:39,343 --> 00:59:42,578
Sometimes, I'm bangin',
like, a really hot model.
696
00:59:42,580 --> 00:59:44,980
And it feels real.
697
00:59:44,982 --> 00:59:47,015
But then I'm, like, "Oh, shit."
698
00:59:47,017 --> 00:59:48,784
"I'm masturbating!"
699
00:59:48,786 --> 00:59:51,520
On the Internet,
that's what you're doin'.
700
00:59:51,522 --> 00:59:53,322
You're masturbating, man.
701
00:59:53,324 --> 00:59:55,490
I don't need you for this.
I'll do it on my own.
702
00:59:55,492 --> 00:59:57,092
No, you won't. Hey, hey, look.
703
00:59:57,094 --> 00:59:59,227
You're about to commit a very serious
felony right now, all right?
704
00:59:59,229 --> 01:00:02,731
This isn't like, uh, stealing
suits or giving kids candy.
705
01:00:02,733 --> 01:00:05,434
I think...
I think I have a better idea.
706
01:00:05,436 --> 01:00:07,169
There's a way
we can do this cleanly.
707
01:00:07,171 --> 01:00:09,571
What do you know
about kidnapping someone?
708
01:00:09,573 --> 01:00:12,207
Dude... I'm Filipino.
709
01:00:26,089 --> 01:00:29,458
Hey! Help me! Help me! Help me!
710
01:00:54,417 --> 01:00:56,385
Rejected?
711
01:00:56,387 --> 01:00:58,286
How's that possible?
712
01:00:59,789 --> 01:01:02,724
Hey! How are you?
Oh, I'm so thirsty.
713
01:01:02,726 --> 01:01:05,193
Are you sure you don't want
anything? It's totally on me.
714
01:01:05,195 --> 01:01:07,596
They have, like,
the best chai latte.
715
01:01:07,598 --> 01:01:10,465
Um... Mmm!
Have you talked to Bobby Yen?
716
01:01:10,467 --> 01:01:14,503
I tried calling him to let him know
we're done, but he's not answering.
717
01:01:14,505 --> 01:01:17,806
Anyway, I've never played
a kidnapping victim before.
718
01:01:17,808 --> 01:01:20,008
Do you think I could get
a copy of that for my reel?
719
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:22,811
Or, you know, I could get it
of YouTube as well.
720
01:01:22,813 --> 01:01:25,380
Are you all right?
721
01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:28,183
Josh? You can't fool it.
722
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:31,787
Oh! Hey. Where are you guys?
723
01:01:31,789 --> 01:01:33,889
What's the matter?
724
01:01:34,791 --> 01:01:36,925
Oh, my God.
725
01:01:36,927 --> 01:01:39,494
Oh, my God!
Where... Where are you?
726
01:01:39,496 --> 01:01:41,296
Okay, okay.
727
01:01:41,298 --> 01:01:45,233
Bobby's been in an accident. I mean,
he... he's at the hospital, Josh.
728
01:01:51,574 --> 01:01:54,743
How many fucking pages
is this thing?
729
01:02:24,207 --> 01:02:27,342
Josh.
730
01:02:46,462 --> 01:02:48,964
Josh.
731
01:02:49,599 --> 01:02:50,932
Mom?
732
01:03:06,082 --> 01:03:08,617
You...
733
01:03:08,619 --> 01:03:11,486
did this.
734
01:03:12,722 --> 01:03:16,158
Why?
735
01:04:16,385 --> 01:04:20,822
Hey, guys!
It's Josh, from
J-TECH.
736
01:04:20,824 --> 01:04:24,125
Got a great bunch of
reviews for you to share...
737
01:04:24,127 --> 01:04:26,127
me to share with you today.
738
01:04:26,129 --> 01:04:30,799
Uh, see a lot of you have
unsubscribed from my vlog.
739
01:04:30,801 --> 01:04:33,168
I, uh... I understand.
It's okay.
740
01:04:33,170 --> 01:04:36,338
You're probably waiting for that new
link to my new show that I promised you.
741
01:04:36,340 --> 01:04:40,242
Well... I decided to go
in another direction.
742
01:04:40,244 --> 01:04:42,544
I didn't want to be
a corporate sellout...
743
01:04:42,546 --> 01:04:46,214
and be selling somebody else's
product, if you know what I mean.
744
01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:48,643
Anyway, the first app that
we're gonna review today...
745
01:04:48,669 --> 01:04:50,477
let me... let me get
my list real quick.
746
01:04:55,258 --> 01:04:56,625
Here we go.
747
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:00,762
Here's the list, okay?
748
01:05:00,764 --> 01:05:06,134
The first app I'm gonna
review is all about...
749
01:05:08,304 --> 01:05:10,372
The first app that I...
750
01:05:21,285 --> 01:05:22,550
Damn it!
751
01:05:22,552 --> 01:05:24,386
What now?
752
01:05:28,358 --> 01:05:30,959
- What?
753
01:05:33,630 --> 01:05:36,264
What? Hello, Josh.
754
01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:38,333
I'm sorry to disturb you.
755
01:05:38,335 --> 01:05:41,536
I was just wondering if you
were able to pay your rent.
756
01:05:41,538 --> 01:05:44,773
Really? Is that why you
gave me an eviction notice?
757
01:05:44,775 --> 01:05:49,644
I'm sorry about that,
but it has been three months.
758
01:05:49,646 --> 01:05:53,381
I just need
a little bit more time.
759
01:05:53,383 --> 01:05:56,918
I'll get it to you soon. I just
got a new job working online.
760
01:05:56,920 --> 01:05:59,888
Online? Josh.
761
01:05:59,890 --> 01:06:05,560
I have a lot of people who are ready
to pay some real money for this house.
762
01:06:06,662 --> 01:06:08,730
It's always about the money,
isn't it?
763
01:06:08,732 --> 01:06:11,132
Oh, I know things
have been hard on you...
764
01:06:11,134 --> 01:06:13,468
since you broke up
with your girlfriend.
765
01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:17,706
She was such a nice girl.
It's too bad.
766
01:06:17,708 --> 01:06:19,641
Josh!
767
01:06:19,643 --> 01:06:23,211
I didn't know you
graduated from Stanford.
768
01:06:23,213 --> 01:06:26,748
Oh, your parents
must be so proud of you.
769
01:06:26,750 --> 01:06:29,084
Wow.
770
01:06:29,086 --> 01:06:33,088
Even though things haven't
exactly panned out for you.
771
01:06:33,090 --> 01:06:37,192
By the way, how is your mother?
772
01:06:37,194 --> 01:06:39,561
Is she still dying?
773
01:06:39,563 --> 01:06:42,330
- What are you... Josh!
774
01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:33,908
Josh? Shit!
775
01:08:33,910 --> 01:08:35,844
You scared the hell out of me.
776
01:08:35,846 --> 01:08:40,748
You too. What's going on?
What's that sound?
777
01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:44,919
Um... I got a dog.
778
01:08:44,921 --> 01:08:47,021
You got a dog?
779
01:08:47,023 --> 01:08:49,190
Yes, I got a dog.
780
01:08:49,192 --> 01:08:52,433
I always wanted to get a dog.
You never let me.
781
01:08:53,028 --> 01:08:54,529
Yeah?
782
01:08:56,832 --> 01:08:59,234
Well, I didn't feel like
livin' with two bitches.
783
01:08:59,236 --> 01:09:01,269
You don't have to be
mean about it.
784
01:09:01,271 --> 01:09:05,039
What do you mean "mean," do you mean
like bring other guys in our bed?
785
01:09:05,041 --> 01:09:07,775
Guy. Not guys.
Huge difference for me.
786
01:09:07,777 --> 01:09:12,213
And besides, I always told you
I was on the fence about us.
787
01:09:12,215 --> 01:09:13,748
Well, you're
outside the fence now.
788
01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:16,050
So you can just go.
How'd you even get in here?
789
01:09:16,052 --> 01:09:19,120
I still have a key. I told you I
was coming to get my last box.
790
01:09:19,122 --> 01:09:22,323
All right, there it is.
Take it.
791
01:09:25,961 --> 01:09:27,162
Josh?
792
01:09:27,164 --> 01:09:29,030
What? I'm very busy right now.
793
01:09:29,032 --> 01:09:33,168
I just wanted to apologize for
the way I treated you. Good.
794
01:09:33,170 --> 01:09:34,736
Hope you feel better
about yourself now.
795
01:09:34,738 --> 01:09:37,906
I should have never left the way I did.
I'm glad you did.
796
01:09:38,974 --> 01:09:40,642
Don't miss me?
797
01:09:40,644 --> 01:09:43,278
Even a little bit?
This is nuts!
798
01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:45,380
Why are you so angry?
799
01:09:45,382 --> 01:09:48,716
Because you cheated, lied, stole and
dumped me like a piece of shit...
800
01:09:48,718 --> 01:09:50,718
when there was nothing
left to take.
801
01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:54,489
Now take your box
and get the fuck out!
802
01:09:57,359 --> 01:09:58,993
What happened to you, Josh?
803
01:09:58,995 --> 01:10:03,898
Why? 'Cause I'm not getting used
and pushed around by you anymore?
804
01:10:03,900 --> 01:10:05,733
Good.
805
01:10:05,735 --> 01:10:07,802
I love you.
806
01:10:26,056 --> 01:10:30,692
Why can't she just get it
through her head to move on...
807
01:10:32,494 --> 01:10:33,695
Greta.
808
01:10:35,264 --> 01:10:36,898
Jesus. What happened?
809
01:10:36,900 --> 01:10:38,566
I'm so sorry.
810
01:10:38,568 --> 01:10:41,236
I feel horrible about
the way I treated you.
811
01:10:42,238 --> 01:10:44,372
When it rains, it pours.
812
01:10:44,374 --> 01:10:46,140
I know it's stupid
to cry like this.
813
01:10:46,142 --> 01:10:48,309
No. I didn't mean it like that.
814
01:10:49,545 --> 01:10:52,513
I just didn't expect things
to go so far between us.
815
01:10:52,515 --> 01:10:54,015
What?
816
01:10:54,017 --> 01:10:57,418
I think I really fell for you
'cause I got scared too, and then...
817
01:10:57,420 --> 01:11:00,288
I'm just gonna go. Wait.
818
01:11:00,290 --> 01:11:02,890
And I know it doesn't mean
anything anymore, but...
819
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:06,494
I didn't sleep with him.
820
01:11:06,496 --> 01:11:09,464
Josh...
821
01:11:09,466 --> 01:11:11,799
any girl would be lucky
to be with you.
822
01:11:27,616 --> 01:11:29,050
Yeah.
823
01:11:29,052 --> 01:11:31,319
I've been expecting your call.
824
01:11:31,321 --> 01:11:33,388
So, thank you guys
so much for watching!
825
01:11:33,390 --> 01:11:38,826
This has been J-TECH.
Signing
off for Tekker TV. Peace out.
826
01:11:38,828 --> 01:11:41,296
Did I tell you
or did I tell you?
827
01:11:41,298 --> 01:11:43,498
I mean, look at that face.
828
01:11:43,500 --> 01:11:45,900
Is that not the face
of technology?
829
01:11:47,269 --> 01:11:48,836
Of the future?
830
01:11:48,838 --> 01:11:52,340
You can trust this face.
I know I do.
831
01:11:52,342 --> 01:11:53,775
It's great.
832
01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:57,512
Beautiful face.
833
01:12:51,334 --> 01:12:52,867
Help! Shut up!
834
01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:55,870
Just get away from me!
835
01:12:55,872 --> 01:12:58,506
Help! Help! Help!
836
01:12:58,508 --> 01:13:00,274
Shut up!
837
01:13:25,067 --> 01:13:27,368
Is Mom better?
838
01:13:27,370 --> 01:13:29,637
How did you know?
839
01:13:31,140 --> 01:13:32,974
I just had a feeling.
840
01:13:32,976 --> 01:13:35,476
Someone here
wants to talk to you.
841
01:13:40,783 --> 01:13:42,817
Hi, baby.
842
01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:46,320
It's okay. Mom's okay.
843
01:13:46,322 --> 01:13:49,557
The doctors say they think
I'm gonna be just fine.
844
01:13:51,527 --> 01:13:53,528
It's the darndest thing,
isn't it?
845
01:13:53,530 --> 01:13:56,731
I love you, Mom.
846
01:13:56,733 --> 01:13:59,467
I love you too, sweetheart.
847
01:13:59,469 --> 01:14:03,504
I'm gonna visit really soon. I'm
sorry I haven't been there for you.
848
01:14:03,506 --> 01:14:06,974
Don't you worry about me. You
just take care of yourself.
849
01:14:06,976 --> 01:14:10,511
I know I'm in your prayers.
850
01:14:11,146 --> 01:14:13,514
I love you.
851
01:14:17,152 --> 01:14:19,086
I'll be right back.
852
01:14:24,693 --> 01:14:26,961
Thank the Lord.
853
01:14:31,935 --> 01:14:34,368
I won't lie to you.
She's in a lot of pain.
854
01:14:34,370 --> 01:14:39,207
But they say that
she's gonna live.
855
01:14:39,209 --> 01:14:43,744
I tell you, we have a guardian angel
looking over this family, Josh.
856
01:14:43,746 --> 01:14:46,881
How else can you explain it.
857
01:14:46,883 --> 01:14:49,917
Thank the Lord.
Blessed be thy name.
858
01:14:51,820 --> 01:14:55,957
Dad, Mom is standing
behind you.
859
01:14:55,959 --> 01:14:58,039
What are you talking about?
860
01:16:24,780 --> 01:16:27,682
I have to do it again.
861
01:17:05,521 --> 01:17:09,190
Josh? It's Greta.
862
01:17:14,863 --> 01:17:17,665
I know you're in there.
863
01:17:32,014 --> 01:17:33,881
I missed you.
864
01:17:39,421 --> 01:17:41,989
I have a surprise for you.
865
01:20:05,233 --> 01:20:07,368
Is Mom better?
866
01:20:07,370 --> 01:20:09,436
How did you know?
867
01:20:10,472 --> 01:20:12,273
I just have a feeling.
868
01:20:12,275 --> 01:20:15,442
Someone here
wants to talk to you.
869
01:20:17,913 --> 01:20:19,880
Hi, baby.
870
01:20:20,749 --> 01:20:23,150
Oh, it's okay, honey.
871
01:20:23,152 --> 01:20:25,920
The doctors say they think
I'm gonna be just fine.
872
01:20:25,922 --> 01:20:29,290
It's the darnedest thing,
isn't it?
873
01:20:29,292 --> 01:20:30,958
I love you, Mom.
874
01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:33,627
I love you too, sweetheart.
875
01:20:33,629 --> 01:20:36,897
I'm gonna visit really soon.
I'm sorry I haven't been there.
876
01:20:36,899 --> 01:20:40,000
No, don't you worry about me.
877
01:20:40,002 --> 01:20:42,469
You take care of yourself,
okay?
878
01:20:42,471 --> 01:20:45,472
I love you.
879
01:20:47,843 --> 01:20:49,343
I'll be right back.
880
01:20:55,383 --> 01:20:57,518
Thank the Lord!
881
01:20:57,520 --> 01:21:00,821
Dad, listen to me.
882
01:21:00,823 --> 01:21:02,890
They say she's gonna live.
883
01:21:02,892 --> 01:21:06,393
We have a guardian angel
looking after this family, Son.
884
01:21:06,395 --> 01:21:09,063
How else can you explain it.
885
01:21:09,065 --> 01:21:12,600
Thank the Lord.
Oh, blessed be thy name.
886
01:21:12,602 --> 01:21:14,768
She's standing
right behind you!
887
01:21:14,770 --> 01:21:17,137
She's gonna stab you
with a knife!
888
01:21:18,240 --> 01:21:20,074
Dad, she's gonna stab you!
Watch out!
889
01:21:23,144 --> 01:21:25,544
What are you talking about?
890
01:21:25,981 --> 01:21:28,249
I feel so much better.
891
01:21:30,051 --> 01:21:34,889
You look really tired. I think
you need to get some rest.
892
01:21:43,900 --> 01:21:46,433
Josh.
893
01:21:46,435 --> 01:21:47,668
It's Greta.
894
01:21:47,670 --> 01:21:49,303
Go away!
895
01:21:49,305 --> 01:21:52,439
Leave me alone!
896
01:21:52,441 --> 01:21:54,608
I know you're in there.
897
01:22:21,636 --> 01:22:24,171
Detective McQuee.
898
01:22:24,173 --> 01:22:26,407
Hello?
899
01:22:26,409 --> 01:22:28,375
Hello?
900
01:22:28,377 --> 01:22:30,144
Who's there?
901
01:22:30,146 --> 01:22:32,746
Can you hear me?
902
01:22:32,748 --> 01:22:35,883
Look, if you've got an emergency,
you gotta call 911, all right?
903
01:22:35,885 --> 01:22:37,418
Hello?
904
01:22:38,787 --> 01:22:40,187
Hello?
905
01:25:48,610 --> 01:25:53,113
"'Tis a common proof that lowliness
is young ambition's ladder,"
906
01:25:53,115 --> 01:25:56,049
where to the climber
upward turns his face.
907
01:25:56,051 --> 01:26:01,655
But when reaches the upmost round
unto the ladder, he turns his back,
908
01:26:01,657 --> 01:26:06,493
"looks to the sky, scorning the base
degrees by which he did ascend."
909
01:26:08,263 --> 01:26:09,730
Hello, Joshua.
910
01:26:09,732 --> 01:26:12,966
What is this? Who are you?
What do you want from me?
911
01:26:12,968 --> 01:26:17,137
If memory serves me right, it was
you who came looking for me.
912
01:26:17,139 --> 01:26:20,407
You needed help
with a young lady... Greta.
913
01:26:20,409 --> 01:26:23,210
Holy shit. The app.
914
01:26:23,212 --> 01:26:25,812
I-Lived. Are you the developer?
915
01:26:25,814 --> 01:26:28,782
In a sense. Are you
unsatisfied with the product?
916
01:26:29,884 --> 01:26:31,685
How does it work?
917
01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:35,756
Like all apps. A series of
equations, fractions, numbers.
918
01:26:35,758 --> 01:26:39,626
An algorithm designed to solve a
specific problem, fulfill a need.
919
01:26:39,628 --> 01:26:42,429
That's the definition
of technology.
920
01:26:44,098 --> 01:26:47,234
From fire to the wheel
to the Internet...
921
01:26:47,236 --> 01:26:50,270
technology's made the world a
better place for you, has it not?
922
01:26:50,272 --> 01:26:53,373
This is different.
It's like it knows me.
923
01:26:53,375 --> 01:26:58,245
It knows you, Josh, because you've
uploaded everything about yourself.
924
01:26:58,247 --> 01:27:00,814
Likes, dislikes, fears,
925
01:27:00,816 --> 01:27:03,550
hopes, photos, videos,
926
01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:05,819
intimate thoughts and desires.
927
01:27:05,821 --> 01:27:07,788
I want it to stop.
928
01:27:07,790 --> 01:27:10,324
Stop? Why would you
want it to stop?
929
01:27:10,326 --> 01:27:13,827
Hasn't it given you everything you've
asked for, everything you've wanted?
930
01:27:15,997 --> 01:27:17,564
It's hurting people.
931
01:27:17,566 --> 01:27:22,302
People hurt people, Josh.
This... This is helping people.
932
01:27:23,204 --> 01:27:25,939
By killing someone?
Everybody dies.
933
01:27:25,941 --> 01:27:30,611
It's a means to an end. We're just...
helping them along.
934
01:27:30,613 --> 01:27:33,480
It wants too much.
Everything is changing.
935
01:27:33,482 --> 01:27:35,549
Everything's always changing.
936
01:27:35,551 --> 01:27:37,951
It's the serpent
shedding its skin.
937
01:27:37,953 --> 01:27:40,387
It's Eve giving Adam the apple.
938
01:27:40,389 --> 01:27:42,623
It's been with you since
the beginning of time.
939
01:27:42,625 --> 01:27:44,591
Apple?
940
01:27:44,593 --> 01:27:47,794
That's right. You think
you can take it on?
941
01:27:47,796 --> 01:27:52,065
It's too late. We're in business
together, and the numbers are climbing.
942
01:27:52,067 --> 01:27:54,334
I never asked for this.
943
01:27:54,336 --> 01:27:56,436
This is exactly
what you asked for.
944
01:27:56,438 --> 01:28:00,540
- I want out.
- I wish I could help.
945
01:28:00,542 --> 01:28:04,011
You signed a contract.
You made a deal.
946
01:28:05,280 --> 01:28:06,847
I never read it.
947
01:28:08,016 --> 01:28:09,783
They never do.
948
01:28:10,852 --> 01:28:13,453
I want out.
949
01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:19,059
Josh, let me remind you of all of that amazing
footage of you and Miss Lee in the garage.
950
01:28:20,161 --> 01:28:23,363
Torture, kidnapping,
electricity.
951
01:28:23,365 --> 01:28:25,899
Oh, that... that was good.
952
01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:28,035
I own you.
953
01:28:28,037 --> 01:28:34,374
I-Lived is 300 million strong because
of your glowing endorsement.
954
01:28:34,376 --> 01:28:37,311
You work for me now.
955
01:28:37,313 --> 01:28:43,083
Josh, you're so close.
956
01:28:43,085 --> 01:28:46,286
Be the man
you're destined to be.
957
01:28:46,288 --> 01:28:48,055
Take it,
958
01:28:49,424 --> 01:28:53,527
or... your life ends now.
959
01:29:17,452 --> 01:29:19,953
I'm not sorry for this.
960
01:29:24,692 --> 01:29:28,528
I have no feelings for you.
961
01:29:32,233 --> 01:29:34,534
I have no remorse.
962
01:29:46,714 --> 01:29:48,815
No guilt.
963
01:29:56,057 --> 01:29:58,959
No! No!
72209