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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,880 - Gently now, don't hurt me. - It won't hurt. 2 00:00:47,006 --> 00:00:48,215 It hurt. 3 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,230 Is this working? 4 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,483 Good morning. I am Dr. Joseph Prang. 5 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:09,070 Chief of Staff, Chief of Surgery, Chief of busting balls. 6 00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:12,114 I'm sure you've all come here with high hopes. 7 00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:13,949 Scalpel. And wonderful dreams. 8 00:01:14,033 --> 00:01:17,787 You there with the turtleneck on. What do you hope to get out of all this? 9 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:22,750 Walter Rist, New Jersey, Hoboken. 10 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,543 Wanna be a psychiatrist... 11 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,713 because I wanna help people put their twisted, wretched minds... 12 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,340 in a more peaceful place. 13 00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:31,217 Not a chance, Doctor. 14 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:35,054 Thurman Flicker, Coon Valley, Wisconsin. 15 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,557 - Gynecology, I think. - Next. 16 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,851 Charles Litto. Chicago: 17 00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:43,604 Anesthesiologist. I like to pass gas. 18 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,065 That's wonderful, Dr. Litto. 19 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,442 We're down here trying to save a man's life... 20 00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:50,986 and you're up there making fart jokes. 21 00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:57,952 My name is Milton Chamberlain, Miami, Florida. 22 00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,578 Proctologist? 23 00:01:59,662 --> 00:02:01,622 No, sir. Pediatrician. 24 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,291 Young lady, how about you? 25 00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:06,252 Hi. 26 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:08,254 Hi. 27 00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,091 I'm Stephanie Brody, and I'm from Vermont. 28 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,301 I want to specialize in rural medicine... 29 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,096 so I can open a clinic in my hometown. 30 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:20,474 Buck DeVol. All-American University of Iowa. 31 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:21,684 Dream faster, son. 32 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,769 - Yeah. Sports medicine. - Next. 33 00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:24,937 Phil Burns. 34 00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:28,732 And I am from the really ugly part of Rego Park in Long Island in Queens. 35 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,776 And I had, like, a hideous childhood... 36 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,736 Wait a minute. Excuse me, Burns. 37 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,197 Dr. Stevens, who is that? 38 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,658 That's Dr. Byner. He's assisting today. 39 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,869 - Why is he wearing a white cap? - Excuse me? 40 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:43,205 He's wearing a white cap. I'm wearing a white cap. 41 00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:45,332 Everybody else is wearing blue caps. 42 00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:49,211 Well, we were all out of blue caps, so I gave him a white cap. 43 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:51,505 Get him out of here. 44 00:02:51,589 --> 00:02:55,050 I'm sorry, Burns. You were saying, ugly, hideous... 45 00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:57,469 Yes. To support myself... 46 00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:02,183 see, I'm working two jobs to become an allergist and be somebody. 47 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,475 Thank you. 48 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,895 And the one in the back there. 49 00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,147 What's your dream, young man? 50 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:12,026 Dr. Simon August. Beverly Hills, California. 51 00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:15,321 I'm going to be the greatest surgeon the world has ever known. 52 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,907 Oh, God, he's gonna want a white cap. 53 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,701 Think fast. 54 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,790 I can promise you all two things. 55 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:31,712 One: This will be the worst year of your lives. 56 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:36,884 Two: Those of you who finish will be the best doctors in the state. 57 00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:40,679 For the next 12 months, you will learn to hate my guts. 58 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,681 I may break some of you. 59 00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:46,227 But those of you who survive will thank me. Get out of here. 60 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,357 That's better. I like your hat. 61 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:55,861 Attention. New interns report for duty onJanuary1. 62 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,446 Happy New Year. 63 00:04:21,971 --> 00:04:24,390 Happy New Year! 64 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:47,913 The White Zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of patients only. 65 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,248 No parking. 66 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,838 I want to go back to the party. 67 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:04,054 - I'm telling you, we don't have any room. - I know. Just get his history, Perez. 68 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:07,891 All right, let's go back in there. We'll get that fly right out of your ear. 69 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,102 All right, Nick, come on. 70 00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:12,813 Get these people to quit smoking. 71 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,399 - And find that duck. - The duck? 72 00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:17,860 I'm telling you, find me more help tonight. 73 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,529 Or find yourself a new chief resident. 74 00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:29,538 Now, I've got this new intern here for you, and I found three girls. 75 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,957 Three candy-striper volunteers. 76 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:35,544 Two of them are paramedics, and one worked in publicity. 77 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:39,131 - I'll take the one with the tits. - Linda. 78 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:46,597 City Hospital Emergency. Nurse Chang speaking. 79 00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:48,515 I'll talk to you later. 80 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:49,892 What happened? 81 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:52,353 - There's a fly in my ear. - A fly flew into his ear. 82 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:55,064 A fly in your ear? Let's see. 83 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,692 Hello, City Hospital. Emergency. 84 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,986 Emergency in Room A, Dr. Jacobs. 85 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,197 Perez, take care of his fly. 86 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:11,747 - What the hell are you doing? - Leave her alone, Mom. 87 00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:22,007 Hey, what the hell's going on? 88 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:25,052 Tell Jacobs those new interns are here. 89 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:33,310 Good evening. 90 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:38,565 All right, doctors, I have got an emergency room full of trouble. 91 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:39,608 Let's go. 92 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:43,654 Nurse, sorry, but the schedule says "Let's Get Acquainted Party, Sunday night." 93 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,697 First day of duty, Monday. 94 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,242 It's still Sunday night. Happy New Year. 95 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,702 Wrong, Doctor. 96 00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:53,789 It's 12:03 a.m. You're on duty. 97 00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:56,625 - Let's go, doctors. - Careful, don't step on Milton. 98 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,752 Who do we examine first? 99 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:01,046 Let's see, there we go, Room 5. 100 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,843 You missed a great party, Doctor. 101 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,679 I didn't become a doctor to go to parties, Nurse. 102 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,098 I didn't become a doctor to be called "Nurse." 103 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,766 Thank you, Nurse. 104 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,436 This is Mr. Langley. 105 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,106 Doctor, I can't piss anymore. 106 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,525 - How old are you? - I'm 82 years old. 107 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,277 You've pissed enough. 108 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,571 For Pete's sake. 109 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:28,115 I was just joking. He didn't get it. 110 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:30,242 I didn't get it, either. 111 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:35,247 Inside mob sources say Godfather Sal Bonafetti... 112 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,832 and his son Angelo... 113 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,501 are marked for extinction by the underworld. 114 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:42,588 Needless to say, they are unavailable for comment. 115 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,259 It's New Year's Eve. 116 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:50,179 I can't stand this fucking hiding anymore. I wanna go out. 117 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,931 Angelo, listen to me, I wanna go out. 118 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,642 There's three fucking families trying to kill you. 119 00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:57,895 You got no brains? Can I have some coffee? 120 00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,689 You shouldn't talk to your father that way. 121 00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:02,232 Shut your mouth! 122 00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:07,696 I want quiet. 123 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,742 I can't stand this no more. I can't take it. 124 00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:16,163 All my life, always screaming. 125 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,957 I can't stand the screaming! 126 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:22,044 Stop screaming! 127 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,966 - What's the matter, Pop? - Pop, spit it out. 128 00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:32,638 Pop, it's me, it's Angie. 129 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,098 - Say something. - He looks sick. 130 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,391 Will you shut up? 131 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,352 Keep your mouth shut! 132 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,187 We gotta get him to a hospital. Come on. 133 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:42,856 It's not safe to go out. We gotta keep him in hiding. 134 00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:45,984 But don't you think letting him die here defeats the purpose? 135 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,194 He's right. 136 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,947 You disguise Pop, I'll disguise me. 137 00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,628 It's gonna be all right, Pop, you'll see. It's gonna be all right. 138 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,129 Have you got the ambulance yet? 139 00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:08,674 Sir, I can't just get you an ambulance. 140 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,843 - I want the best doctor in the place. - Does he have any mobility? 141 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,262 - What? - Mobility? 142 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:16,682 - His arms, his legs, can he move? - What are you talking about? 143 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,891 - Sorry. - What are you doing? 144 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,227 He's all better now. Now do me a favor. 145 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:23,063 Don't tell anybody that Dr. Buck fixed your duck. 146 00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:33,073 Will one of the interns please report to Room B? 147 00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,995 Then he cornered me in the back of the bus... 148 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,581 and then he started pulling at my clothes. 149 00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,249 Did he say anything? 150 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:43,625 Yeah, he did. He said: 151 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:47,713 "First I'm gonna lick you all over." 152 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,173 - Lick? - Lick. 153 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,968 "And then I'm gonna..." 154 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,929 I can't say it. 155 00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:57,556 Here. 156 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:02,519 Write down everything he was going to do after "lick." 157 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,605 Hello, Rocco, yeah. 158 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:08,692 Look, we got here safe. The disguises are perfect. 159 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,570 Yeah, but I don't trust nobody. 160 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:14,156 There's a rumor that the Gallentino family... 161 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:16,199 brought in a hit man from Rhode Island. 162 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,582 Attention. Starting Monday, all nurses must wear underwear. 163 00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,418 - Next time you'll know better. - But I was... 164 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:29,296 No, Dr. Prang won't let us break the rules. 165 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,476 - What's your name? - Salvatore is his name. 166 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:46,480 - Does he have Blue Cross? - Yeah, he's got everything. 167 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,482 Are you the wife? 168 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,692 Is this This is Your Life or something? 169 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:52,986 Would you please find a room for him, lady? 170 00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,072 Don't have any rooms. He'll go in the ward. 171 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:58,116 - Check first. - I just checked. We're full. 172 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,160 Please, lady, would you call the room people? 173 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,245 There might have been a cancellation. 174 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,706 I'm a doctor, you're cured. Get the hell out of here. 175 00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:05,874 Who are you? 176 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:08,835 That's my cousin Guido. And this here's my husband. 177 00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,504 - Nice to meet you. - Get the other guy. 178 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:13,340 My name is Mickey Callaghan, and I paid for this room. 179 00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,175 Yeah, so what? Who cares? 180 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:18,095 Get out of here. You're going home, you're all better. 181 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,388 Are you my doctor? 182 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,598 Yeah, my uniform's in the laundry. 183 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:25,852 Hello, hospital? Yes, there's an empty room now. 184 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:28,689 - You can send up Mr. Bonafetti. - You're always on the phone. 185 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,817 It's amazing. There is a room. 186 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,402 It's a miracle. 187 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,071 Excuse me. 188 00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:38,281 How long has he been like this? 189 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,325 Since the war. Who gives a damn? 190 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,745 Have you seen Valerie or Bunny, those girls in the red striped dress? 191 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,708 - We're over here, Miss Chang. - We're over here. 192 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,502 Nurse Sprockett is looking for you. 193 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:03,432 Here's what he said. Now don't read it out loud. 194 00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:07,018 "I'm gonna suck..." 195 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,729 "And then I'll..." 196 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,689 "your brains out." 197 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,899 A sick, perverted human being. 198 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,235 He ought to be hung up by his things. 199 00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:18,572 Nurse Chang. 200 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,409 Get this woman a place to lie down until she's ready to go home. 201 00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:23,744 Thank you. 202 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:27,914 Just wait till I tell you what happened to me on the bus. 203 00:12:28,123 --> 00:12:30,250 Officer, thank you. 204 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,505 These are neat. 205 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,382 Are you a waitress? 206 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,301 No. I'm a prostitute. 207 00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:42,554 I just wear these to turn on the guys. 208 00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,556 How far along is she? 209 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,809 Well, she doesn't know exactly, but she's huge. 210 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,646 All right, young lady, you'll have a beautiful baby in no time. 211 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,608 I don't think so, Doctor. 212 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,443 What? What are you talking about? 213 00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,986 Hysterical pregnancy. 214 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,656 She wants a straight life so badly, she's convinced herself she's pregnant. 215 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:04,201 Doctor, this girl is in heavy labor. 216 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,661 It's just not so, Doctor. 217 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:10,457 Get out. 218 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:17,047 Thank you, Doctor. 219 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:20,342 - What happened? Was that a balloon? - Next. 220 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,093 Poor kid. 221 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:29,017 I never knew it was possible for a medical doctor to be so unfeeling. 222 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:32,312 It sounds to me like you're falling in love with him. 223 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:43,907 - How old are you? - Seventeen. 224 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,161 I'm 27. 225 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,124 Hold me, like you held that duck. 226 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,129 We're gonna take good care of your dad. Okay? 227 00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,840 Yeah, that's nice of you. 228 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,971 You don't have to worry your pretty face about it. 229 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:43,425 Dr pepper please report ., to the Diabetes Ward at once. 230 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,735 Sal? Is that you? 231 00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:06,698 It is you. 232 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:12,162 Got yourself a big private room, huh? 233 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,123 All alone. 234 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,917 That's nice. 235 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,920 I got a little something for you. 236 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,716 A goodbye kiss from the Gallentino family. 237 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:31,473 The Gallentino family always kisses on the nose. 238 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,433 Not in my hospital. 239 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:36,770 What did you put up there? 240 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,689 Move and you'll be shitting glass for a week. 241 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,612 Thank you, ladies. 242 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:47,781 What's your name? 243 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,741 - Malamud. - Where are your records? 244 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:51,493 I don't know, I lost them. 245 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,912 Well, I'll find them. What's wrong with you? 246 00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,206 I'm sick, okay? 247 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,083 You sure are, pal. 248 00:15:59,751 --> 00:16:04,130 And so, without further fuss, I give you the ever-diligent... 249 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,217 Dr. Oliver Ludwig. 250 00:16:10,095 --> 00:16:11,721 - Doctors. - Hello. 251 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:14,474 Welcome. 252 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:19,020 Here in Pathology, we consult the dead... 253 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:22,732 and ask them how we may cure the living. 254 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:26,987 Here we interpret the messages the body sends us. 255 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:30,657 Messages found in substances... 256 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:33,994 the uninformed find disgusting. 257 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,664 They are not disgusting, they are beautiful. 258 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,792 They are the literature of pathology. 259 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:47,507 The human being emits, oozes, secretes... 260 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:52,137 excretes, salivates, urinates, menstruates, lactates... 261 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,848 evacuates, expectorates... 262 00:16:54,889 --> 00:16:57,017 and ejaculates. 263 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,518 You left out regurgitates. 264 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,854 Don't help me, Kurtzman. 265 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:06,401 Now, there are more than twenty vital bodily fluids. 266 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:09,696 And I'm proud to say that I have tasted every one of them. 267 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:12,407 This urine, for example. 268 00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,452 What will it tell us? 269 00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,669 Definite sugar taste. 270 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,673 Now I don't need a battery of tests to tell me... 271 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,217 that the patient has a slight pre-diabetic condition. 272 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,386 Doctor, will you confirm my findings? 273 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,722 No, thank you, I'm trying to cut down. 274 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:38,183 That's an order, Doctor. 275 00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,646 I know my limit. 276 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,985 No sugar. 277 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,284 No sugar taste, the doctor says. 278 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,787 Just my little way of showing you that... 279 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:02,999 there's something far more important to the pathologist than taste. 280 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,835 That is the power of observation. 281 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,839 If you had been observing, Doctor, you would have seen that I put... 282 00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:13,301 this finger in the urine, but I put this finger in my mouth. 283 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:16,304 Lesson number one, Doctor. 284 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:22,852 Yes, but if you had tasted the specimen, Doctor... 285 00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:25,855 you would have noticed a dangerously high level of fractoids. 286 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:29,067 This patient has pituitary thrombosis. 287 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,610 Well, let me see that. 288 00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,954 Tastes like plain old piss to me, Doctor. 289 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:49,754 With a slight metallic flavor, indicating a high level of zinc. 290 00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,466 Doctor, here, you try. 291 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:02,225 No, wait. Just a minute. 292 00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,769 I didn't really taste the urine. I was just kidding. 293 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:05,854 You what? 294 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:10,024 I did the same thing he did. I switched fingers. I thought it was obvious. 295 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,236 Can I have a word with you, Doctor? 296 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:16,573 You might have made a fool out of some of my colleagues... 297 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:19,075 but you'll have to get up early to put one over... 298 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,743 on Dr. Oliver Wendell Ludwig. 299 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,996 Now you look at this face, what do you see? 300 00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,998 I see alcohol poisoning... 301 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,458 and prosiasis in the tertiary stage. 302 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,919 Get out. 303 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:34,132 - Out! All of you! - I think we've been dismissed. 304 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,469 Get out, every one of you. 305 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,305 - What did I say? - Come on. 306 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,098 Where's the little guy? 307 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,353 What are you doing tonight, Simon? 308 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,397 I thought I might learn some of this stuff. 309 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,441 Drop out? You okay, man? 310 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:55,403 Who is in charge of pills and drugs here at this hospital? 311 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,654 Nurse Sprockett. 312 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,365 Do you think she can get me some speed or some uppers? 313 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,701 I guess she might, if she likes you enough. 314 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,286 She likes me? 315 00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:06,831 You won't believe the note that she gave me. Read that. 316 00:20:10,919 --> 00:20:14,923 You know, some of these words have never been said in the State of Wisconsin. 317 00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,008 She's an animal. 318 00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,845 Hi, remember me? 319 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,765 I'm the doctor you saw when you were first admitted. 320 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:27,185 I'm sorry. Walter Rist. 321 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:32,774 Anyway... 322 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:39,239 Yes, I know, and I'm sorry. But it was the only bed available. 323 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,824 And I knew you'd prefer it to the Mental Ward. 324 00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:49,624 Okay, I'm gonna give it to you straight. You're paralyzed with fear. 325 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:54,712 But then again, maybe you already knew that. 326 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,633 You're safe here. Nobody can harm you. 327 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,468 I promise you that. 328 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,735 In them old cotton fields back home 329 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:21,447 Well, it was down in Louisiana 330 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,492 just about a mile from Texarkana 331 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:27,829 In them old cotton fields back home 332 00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:30,623 Where do you want me to lick you first? 333 00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:46,597 When them cotton balls get rotten 334 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:49,142 You can't pick very much cotton 335 00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:54,439 - I'm glad you asked me out, Stephanie. - You fascinate me, Simon. 336 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,233 I've never been out with such an insensitive genius. 337 00:21:57,275 --> 00:22:00,278 Thank you. Now, tell me all about Burnaby Mountain. 338 00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:03,281 It's where I live. It's in Vermont. 339 00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,658 My father was the only doctor. 340 00:22:06,284 --> 00:22:08,161 He used to work 24 hours... 341 00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,997 and half the time people couldn't even pay him. 342 00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,292 They used to give him chickens and stuff like that. 343 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:15,585 Anyway... 344 00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:19,172 when he died, everybody knew that he wanted me to be a doctor. 345 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,800 So they took up a collection to send me to medical school... 346 00:22:23,301 --> 00:22:25,887 to return to Burnaby Mountain... 347 00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,473 to take up where my dad left off. 348 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:32,018 They're all praying for me, Simon, the whole town. 349 00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,520 They paid him with chickens? 350 00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:38,900 Why would anyone practice in a silly place like that? 351 00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:46,074 Stephanie? What did I say? 352 00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,663 Stephanie. 353 00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,878 Stephanie, what is it? 354 00:22:59,504 --> 00:23:01,339 It's nothing. I'm fine. 355 00:23:02,507 --> 00:23:04,884 You, get your hand out of there. 356 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:06,677 - Check, please. - I had two salads. 357 00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:11,682 Curtain time. Good morning, Sal. 358 00:23:12,642 --> 00:23:14,560 Here's your breakfast. 359 00:23:23,694 --> 00:23:25,530 Stop fooling around. 360 00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:29,033 Now get back in that bed. Today's your lucky day. 361 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,119 - What day? - Your surgery day. 362 00:23:31,202 --> 00:23:32,495 We found your records. 363 00:23:32,537 --> 00:23:36,040 What surgery? What records? I ain't getting no surgery. 364 00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,585 What are you doing to me? 365 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:41,629 Now, Mr. M. Callahan. 366 00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:43,339 Who's Callahan? 367 00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:45,800 - Malamud Callahan. - What? 368 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:51,055 Now, lots of people lead perfectly normal lives with only one kidney. 369 00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:52,765 What? 370 00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:55,101 All right, ladies. Moving out. 371 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:56,894 One kidney? 372 00:23:57,395 --> 00:23:58,646 Wait! 373 00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:11,242 Here it is. 374 00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:16,038 Okay, see if you can raise the bed now, Emilia. 375 00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:23,546 No good. 376 00:24:24,422 --> 00:24:26,299 This is a 35-year-old woman. 377 00:24:27,258 --> 00:24:29,177 - Who did the workup? - Me. 378 00:24:29,594 --> 00:24:31,971 She has all the symptoms of a thyroid disease. 379 00:24:32,054 --> 00:24:34,599 She has a very strange pain in her nose. 380 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,309 We'll have to examine her. 381 00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:39,103 All right, you wanna spread your nostrils for me? 382 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:41,647 Any more mystery pains, Stephanie? 383 00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:44,775 Everyone gets dizzy once in a while, Simon. 384 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:46,736 Destroying an entire restaurant? 385 00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,654 This is no small matter. 386 00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:50,823 No snow up there. 387 00:24:51,616 --> 00:24:54,494 If it bothers you, we won't go out. I have other dates. 388 00:24:54,577 --> 00:24:57,747 Litto asked me out, Thurman Flicker asked me out. 389 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:05,004 Back on your box. 390 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,882 I hope you turned them down. 391 00:25:08,299 --> 00:25:10,801 - You do? - Yes. 392 00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:14,430 Involvement with hospital staff could only end in disaster. 393 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:18,768 Any romance now would be ludicrous, and counterproductive to our studies. 394 00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:20,686 Terrific. 395 00:25:21,312 --> 00:25:25,274 We'll spend every single moment studying, all year long. 396 00:25:26,275 --> 00:25:29,987 You'll make a fine doctor, Stephanie. Keep up the good work. 397 00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:33,366 Yes, simple vitamin A deficiency. 398 00:25:36,619 --> 00:25:38,412 I think you get that from carrots. 399 00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:40,998 What? Vitamin A, or the deficiency? 400 00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:44,335 - Burns. - Hemorrhoids. 401 00:25:45,336 --> 00:25:48,881 I know you're holding down a couple of jobs to pay your way through here. 402 00:25:48,965 --> 00:25:51,217 If you can't handle it, get out. 403 00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:54,220 Yes, Mr. Fitkin. 404 00:25:55,304 --> 00:25:58,683 Doctors, we have here a man who was admitted with severe... 405 00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:01,143 abdominal pains and back spasms. 406 00:26:01,185 --> 00:26:02,770 What is your diagnosis? 407 00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:04,397 I'd say gallbladder. 408 00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:07,149 - You say gallbladder? - Yes, sir. 409 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,528 Dr. Litto, your gallbladder is located here. 410 00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:12,655 Appendix here. 411 00:26:12,697 --> 00:26:15,950 Spleen, liver, kidneys! 412 00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:19,704 It's important you learn to tell one from the other. 413 00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:23,916 Now, this patient is suffering from a simple kidney infection. Next. 414 00:26:31,799 --> 00:26:34,510 Here we have general malaise, hair falling out... 415 00:26:34,552 --> 00:26:37,388 pain in the extremities, disgusting appearance. 416 00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:41,017 Dr. August, what is your diagnosis? 417 00:26:41,058 --> 00:26:42,768 Myasthenia chroepsis. 418 00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:45,479 That's very good. Can you prove that? 419 00:26:45,688 --> 00:26:49,066 No sir. Neither can you. No one can. 420 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:50,151 Why not? 421 00:26:50,234 --> 00:26:52,945 We won't know for sure until the autopsy. 422 00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:54,780 I don't believe you, Simon. 423 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,782 That was real sensitive. 424 00:26:58,242 --> 00:27:00,244 - What did I say? - Think, Simon. 425 00:27:04,081 --> 00:27:06,667 I don't know if he'll ever be... Hi, Milt. 426 00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:09,587 I don't know if he'll ever be the warm, loving dad... 427 00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:12,965 that you so desperately need, but we'll give it a try. 428 00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:17,136 You know, in a sense, we're all to blame for Sal. 429 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:19,388 Your attention please. 430 00:27:19,430 --> 00:27:23,851 Due to a mix-up in Urology, no apple juice will be served this morning. 431 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,856 Hi. 432 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,359 Just mellow out. 433 00:27:32,818 --> 00:27:34,820 I'm sorry about what happened the other day. 434 00:27:34,862 --> 00:27:36,822 You gave me that note, what do you expect? 435 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:38,324 What note? 436 00:27:38,449 --> 00:27:39,909 In Emergency. 437 00:27:41,535 --> 00:27:43,329 I didn't write that note. 438 00:27:54,090 --> 00:27:57,093 Do I smell Bal de Versailles? 439 00:27:58,469 --> 00:28:00,179 You might. 440 00:28:00,513 --> 00:28:02,139 It's my scent. 441 00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:04,517 I thought so. Here. 442 00:28:05,059 --> 00:28:07,645 It's my way of saying that I'm sorry. 443 00:28:07,728 --> 00:28:10,439 Don't play with a nurse's affections, Doctor. 444 00:28:10,481 --> 00:28:14,860 I mean it. If I didn't have three jobs, it would be very different for me. 445 00:28:15,152 --> 00:28:17,113 Three jobs? 446 00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,365 Is that why you're so tired all the time? 447 00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:22,493 Intern, umpire, and dancehall guy. 448 00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:26,205 $1 a dance. $1.50 for the rumba. 449 00:28:26,706 --> 00:28:29,291 Well, you poor man. 450 00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,043 How do you do it? 451 00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:34,463 Basically it's a box step. I'd like to share it with you. 452 00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:46,434 Up. 453 00:28:47,518 --> 00:28:48,936 Back. 454 00:28:50,688 --> 00:28:51,814 Up. 455 00:28:54,942 --> 00:28:57,236 Now, see the sun. 456 00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:03,117 Now feel the space, turn. 457 00:29:04,785 --> 00:29:06,787 Now up and dip. 458 00:29:07,455 --> 00:29:09,582 Yeah, that's good. 459 00:29:09,665 --> 00:29:13,711 Now come on, show me where your mother lives. Yeah, right there, come on. 460 00:29:14,962 --> 00:29:17,214 Remember "The Pony"? 461 00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:32,438 Why are we stopping? 462 00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:35,775 I am so tired, I have no energy. I can't do anything. 463 00:29:35,858 --> 00:29:38,068 - I'm falling apart. - You poor man. 464 00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:40,196 - It's terrible for me. - Perhaps... 465 00:29:41,071 --> 00:29:43,991 An upper would be so friendly right now. 466 00:29:44,074 --> 00:29:45,826 So if you have anything... 467 00:29:45,910 --> 00:29:47,536 it would be so lovely. 468 00:29:47,578 --> 00:29:50,831 - Do you always wear that key? - I'm married to this key. 469 00:29:52,583 --> 00:29:55,461 - Okey-dokey. - What a selection. 470 00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:58,297 - Now just one. - One. 471 00:29:58,923 --> 00:30:00,883 - I feel better already. - Yeah. 472 00:30:00,925 --> 00:30:02,510 Guajina is the bird. 473 00:30:20,444 --> 00:30:22,321 The dance ends with a big finish. 474 00:30:22,363 --> 00:30:24,490 It's one, two, three, and up. 475 00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:38,712 That was really good, what you did there. 476 00:30:38,796 --> 00:30:42,466 I believed it, you danced, you used the space, it was terrific. 477 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,134 It was nice. 478 00:30:45,553 --> 00:30:47,263 "N. Sprockett." 479 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,306 What does the "N" mean? 480 00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:51,350 Norine. 481 00:30:52,184 --> 00:30:54,353 - Can I call you Norine? - Sure. 482 00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:57,022 - Doctor... - Phil. 483 00:30:59,483 --> 00:31:00,693 Phil. 484 00:31:01,735 --> 00:31:02,945 Norine? 485 00:31:03,988 --> 00:31:06,782 I think I could learn to be crazy about you. 486 00:31:21,755 --> 00:31:22,965 Phil. 487 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:26,552 Good morning. City Hospital. 488 00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:28,929 Ready for surgery, Doctor? 489 00:31:29,263 --> 00:31:31,807 Tell me, did Elizabeth Taylor call? 490 00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:35,936 Elizabeth Taylor did not call, and you are not ready for surgery. 491 00:31:36,020 --> 00:31:37,855 That's funny. I thought sure she'd call. 492 00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:41,191 I met her at the wedding. She looked at me with those big violet eyes. 493 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:44,320 - I thought she would call. - Would I tell you wrong? 494 00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:46,822 You wouldn't be jealous, would you, Nurse? 495 00:31:46,864 --> 00:31:49,700 City Hospital. Happy Valentine's Day. 496 00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:53,579 - How are you feeling? - Lousy. My laryngitis is killing me. 497 00:31:53,829 --> 00:31:55,748 Couldn't find a doctor. 498 00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:59,251 - Excuse me, Miss. - Yes? 499 00:31:59,335 --> 00:32:01,086 - Is the doctor around? - No. 500 00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:09,595 - Excuse me, Miss, is the doctor around? - No. 501 00:32:11,639 --> 00:32:14,058 Good morning, Happy Saint Patrick's Day. 502 00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:16,060 Let me see if I have this straight. 503 00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:19,355 You were shaving, you slipped, you cut your nose off. 504 00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:22,608 Then you dropped your razor and cut your toe off. 505 00:32:22,650 --> 00:32:25,861 Doctor made a mistake, he sewed your toe onto your face... 506 00:32:25,903 --> 00:32:28,030 and your nose onto your foot. 507 00:32:28,656 --> 00:32:32,743 And your complaint is that every time you sneeze, you blow your shoe off. 508 00:32:32,952 --> 00:32:34,286 That's silly. 509 00:32:36,705 --> 00:32:38,415 City Hospital. Happy Easter. 510 00:32:43,462 --> 00:32:45,923 Attention, at exactly 3:00 p.m... 511 00:32:46,006 --> 00:32:49,510 all hospital electricity will be turned off for five minutes. 512 00:32:49,593 --> 00:32:52,638 At 2:59 p.m. all patients in oxygen tents... 513 00:32:52,721 --> 00:32:55,391 - should take a deep breath and hold it. - Where's Dr. Rist? 514 00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:57,851 - Thank you. - He's right over there. 515 00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:07,152 Hello, Doctor. 516 00:33:07,236 --> 00:33:09,363 - No, don't get up. - Angela. 517 00:33:09,446 --> 00:33:11,657 It's all right, I'll find a place. 518 00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:13,325 Excuse me, sir. 519 00:33:13,367 --> 00:33:15,661 Could you move over there, give me a chance? 520 00:33:15,703 --> 00:33:17,871 The light's better over there. 521 00:33:17,955 --> 00:33:20,165 Could you hold this for a second? 522 00:33:20,457 --> 00:33:23,335 All right, that's it. Over here. 523 00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:26,505 Thank you. You're very cute. 524 00:33:27,423 --> 00:33:30,384 - Thank you very much. - This is for my father. 525 00:33:30,426 --> 00:33:31,468 I knew that. 526 00:33:31,510 --> 00:33:33,470 - Please sit. - No, after you. 527 00:33:33,554 --> 00:33:35,723 No, please. Sit down, will you? 528 00:33:39,977 --> 00:33:42,146 It's good to see you, Angela. 529 00:33:43,063 --> 00:33:44,565 How's my pop? 530 00:33:44,773 --> 00:33:46,442 - The same. - The same? 531 00:33:48,402 --> 00:33:51,155 Hello, Stephanie. How's everything? 532 00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:54,700 Your attention please. 533 00:33:54,783 --> 00:33:57,202 ET, phone home. 534 00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:03,375 I don't get a chance to be alone too much because I have a large family. 535 00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:07,880 I like cooking, cooking is nice. And I read a book once. 536 00:34:09,131 --> 00:34:11,633 I like to go to the ballgame. What about you? 537 00:34:11,675 --> 00:34:12,676 Me? 538 00:34:14,303 --> 00:34:15,888 Well, I guess... 539 00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:19,725 I'm basically into sharing. 540 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:25,314 Sunsets on wintry beaches, cats... 541 00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:28,776 and relating over a fine bottle of wine. 542 00:34:30,277 --> 00:34:32,029 What about you, Angela? 543 00:34:32,237 --> 00:34:33,572 Me? 544 00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:37,034 My father didn't take me out a lot. 545 00:34:37,326 --> 00:34:39,745 There was the track, and there was Vegas. 546 00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:43,582 But like a fucking museum or a fucking concert, like fucking forget it. 547 00:34:46,418 --> 00:34:48,754 - I like music. - Music? Yeah? 548 00:34:49,463 --> 00:34:52,216 I thought I heard a song in your heart. 549 00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:55,886 No, what I meant was... 550 00:34:57,221 --> 00:35:00,057 I thought that you were musically inclined. 551 00:35:00,182 --> 00:35:03,560 Did you ever sing, or play any instrument? 552 00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:05,229 Fucking guitar. 553 00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:07,815 Is that a special kind of guitar? 554 00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:13,070 - No, it's regular. - All righty. 555 00:35:14,196 --> 00:35:15,447 I studied when I was a kid... 556 00:35:15,489 --> 00:35:17,950 but I broke it on my brother's head and went to work. 557 00:35:17,991 --> 00:35:20,869 Do you ever feel sad... 558 00:35:20,911 --> 00:35:24,081 that you were denied some of those things? 559 00:35:24,414 --> 00:35:26,250 No, you know... 560 00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:30,170 you grow up fucking insensitive. 561 00:35:31,839 --> 00:35:33,048 Yeah. 562 00:35:49,148 --> 00:35:50,482 Okay, turn. 563 00:35:53,694 --> 00:35:55,445 Jump. 564 00:35:57,698 --> 00:35:58,740 Stephanie. 565 00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:02,286 You can turn that off a minute. I'll be right back in just one minute. 566 00:36:02,953 --> 00:36:06,999 Stephanie, I'm not always that quick on the uptake as regards... 567 00:36:07,541 --> 00:36:10,878 It seems to me like, in the last couple of months... 568 00:36:10,961 --> 00:36:14,339 your attitude towards me has undergone something of a change. 569 00:36:15,507 --> 00:36:16,925 You noticed? 570 00:36:17,176 --> 00:36:19,178 It's called the cold shoulder, Simon. 571 00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:22,222 And it's exactly what the doctor prescribed, Doctor. 572 00:36:22,306 --> 00:36:23,724 I don't follow you. 573 00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:28,979 "A romance now would be ludicrous, and counterproductive to our studies." 574 00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:32,941 I guess that might have sounded a little stuffy, Stephie. 575 00:36:34,109 --> 00:36:36,111 - Slightly, Simon. - Look. 576 00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:40,782 Do you think a couple of tickets to the ballet might help? 577 00:36:40,991 --> 00:36:42,618 You bought those tickets? 578 00:36:42,659 --> 00:36:44,703 No, they were given to me by a patient. 579 00:36:44,786 --> 00:36:47,497 Close enough. You were a rotten first date. 580 00:36:48,498 --> 00:36:51,043 But I'm willing to give it another try. 581 00:36:51,251 --> 00:36:53,003 How are you on the second date? 582 00:36:53,045 --> 00:36:55,505 I don't know. I've never had one. 583 00:36:56,256 --> 00:36:59,301 - Cut out the mushy stuff. - Let's dance. 584 00:37:02,471 --> 00:37:03,639 Okay. 585 00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:11,563 Clap. 586 00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:14,650 Jump. 587 00:37:29,373 --> 00:37:31,875 - Stephanie. - This is a dumb dance. 588 00:37:31,959 --> 00:37:34,461 - What is it? - I think it's supposed to be punk. 589 00:37:34,544 --> 00:37:36,755 I'm fine. It's okay. 590 00:37:38,298 --> 00:37:40,384 I just get dizzy sometimes, that's all. 591 00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:41,843 Let's go jump in the lake. 592 00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:43,762 Yeah, let's go swimming. 593 00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:45,055 Thank you, orphans. 594 00:37:45,347 --> 00:37:48,892 These dizzy spells are not normal. I'd like to do some tests on you. 595 00:37:48,976 --> 00:37:50,310 I'm sure it's nothing. 596 00:37:53,397 --> 00:37:54,523 Come on. 597 00:37:54,982 --> 00:37:57,484 When you were a kid, did you play "Spit in the Lake"? 598 00:37:57,567 --> 00:38:00,487 No. Why would anyone play that? 599 00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:04,574 The idea is to see who can spit the farthest. I used to be the champ. 600 00:38:05,575 --> 00:38:08,245 - You play games? - Yeah, I play games. 601 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:10,247 I bet I could beat you. 602 00:38:10,289 --> 00:38:14,293 No. It's the only game my father would let me play, I'm very good at it. 603 00:38:14,918 --> 00:38:17,546 We'll see. You go first. 604 00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:19,506 Okay. 605 00:38:26,847 --> 00:38:28,724 Forget it. You can't win. 606 00:38:28,765 --> 00:38:30,642 Awfully cocky. 607 00:38:39,776 --> 00:38:42,070 Simon, I want that back. Give me my spit back. 608 00:38:42,112 --> 00:38:43,780 No. Sorry. 609 00:38:45,115 --> 00:38:47,576 At least tell me what you think I have. 610 00:38:48,118 --> 00:38:50,746 No. Because I could be wrong. 611 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,956 Simon, you're never wrong. 612 00:38:53,332 --> 00:38:54,666 That's true. 613 00:38:56,126 --> 00:38:58,754 Do you think you could just hold me? 614 00:39:06,553 --> 00:39:08,972 Good morning. Medication time. 615 00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:12,601 Attention. Dr. Prang has refused to meet with our strike committee. 616 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:15,395 So we urge nurses not to work very hard. 617 00:39:18,774 --> 00:39:20,317 Take this spit. 618 00:39:21,485 --> 00:39:22,652 Whose is it? 619 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:24,863 I don't know. Baryshnikov. 620 00:39:28,158 --> 00:39:31,995 No, this is Stephanie Brody's spit here on the ballet ticket, I see... 621 00:39:32,079 --> 00:39:34,039 that Dr. August keeps on bugging us about. 622 00:39:34,081 --> 00:39:35,082 Who's that? 623 00:39:35,123 --> 00:39:38,418 That brilliant young intern, who figured out with the two fingers. 624 00:39:38,502 --> 00:39:40,629 - That smart ass, yeah. - That's right. 625 00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:44,383 I see here he wants a Nederlander's, a trilateral myopia. 626 00:39:44,466 --> 00:39:46,718 He wants a Lastfogel's process. 627 00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:51,098 Wait a minute. You know about that Lastfogel test? 628 00:39:51,181 --> 00:39:52,307 Sure. 629 00:39:52,349 --> 00:39:55,060 I haven't seen anything about it in the National Enquirer. 630 00:39:55,102 --> 00:39:57,229 No, it was in People magazine. 631 00:39:58,397 --> 00:39:59,981 With the trilateral myopia... 632 00:40:00,023 --> 00:40:03,068 and the Nederlander's, you can only be pretty sure. 633 00:40:03,151 --> 00:40:07,197 But with this Lastfogel's test, you are 100% sure. 634 00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:16,832 Paging Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard. 635 00:40:19,543 --> 00:40:22,379 Dr. Prang's office. Miss Pendergast speaking. 636 00:40:22,712 --> 00:40:25,382 No, I do not want to talk to the nurses. 637 00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:27,134 No, they'll never strike. 638 00:40:27,217 --> 00:40:30,220 They're dedicated people, for God's sake. Yes? 639 00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:32,222 Sarah. 640 00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:36,893 Sarah, you've got to understand, I am supervising 20 interns. 641 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:41,523 I am running the surgery department of one of the largest hospitals in the country... 642 00:40:41,565 --> 00:40:43,650 and I'm sitting on 12 medical committees. 643 00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:47,779 Now, I don't have time to talk to you or your divorce attorney. Is that clear? 644 00:40:47,863 --> 00:40:49,781 Good! Hello? 645 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,492 Oscar? What did E.F. Hutton say? 646 00:40:53,994 --> 00:40:56,955 What do you mean, another $200,000, Oscar? 647 00:40:57,247 --> 00:40:59,249 Where is it coming from, Oscar? 648 00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:01,626 Where is it coming from, man? 649 00:41:04,754 --> 00:41:06,840 I was told you wanted to see me, Doctor. 650 00:41:06,923 --> 00:41:09,468 Dr. August, come in. 651 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,180 You didn't want to use the telephone, did you? 652 00:41:13,263 --> 00:41:15,098 - No. - Good. 653 00:41:16,933 --> 00:41:20,145 I've been hearing a great deal about you from your fellow interns. 654 00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:23,106 Evidently they think you're quite an asshole. 655 00:41:23,148 --> 00:41:25,442 - I like that. - Thank you, sir. 656 00:41:26,610 --> 00:41:30,906 Doctor, I've decided to let you take out an appendix, a gallbladder, whatever. 657 00:41:33,450 --> 00:41:34,701 Something wrong? 658 00:41:34,784 --> 00:41:36,578 No. Nothing. 659 00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:40,832 The whole idea is to see whether you have what it takes to do your residency with me. 660 00:41:41,917 --> 00:41:44,544 I'm very anxious to see how you cut. 661 00:41:45,962 --> 00:41:49,174 Pendergast. Excuse me. 662 00:41:52,928 --> 00:41:56,681 Hello? Yeah. Milton, it's for you. 663 00:41:58,642 --> 00:42:02,479 You guys hear the scuttlebutt? Prang is gonna let Simon cut. 664 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,235 Why is he chewing on a ball? 665 00:42:08,318 --> 00:42:10,237 He broke up with Julie. 666 00:42:12,072 --> 00:42:14,699 You know, relationships can be hard. 667 00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:17,661 - Take Angela for instance... - She's a hooker. 668 00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:18,745 She is? 669 00:42:18,828 --> 00:42:20,705 Julie, she's a hooker. 670 00:42:22,624 --> 00:42:25,210 Her voice is changing all the time. 671 00:42:26,503 --> 00:42:30,006 My mom and dad, they went to church every Sunday. 672 00:42:30,090 --> 00:42:32,717 Her father murdered her mother. 673 00:42:32,801 --> 00:42:34,803 - Murdered? - He's in prison. 674 00:42:36,513 --> 00:42:39,474 I like her. She's a good kid. She brings me presents. 675 00:42:39,516 --> 00:42:42,102 She wants to give up hooking but... 676 00:42:43,562 --> 00:42:45,855 I don't know. I'm a doctor. 677 00:42:46,940 --> 00:42:50,735 I can't hang around with hookers. Do you ever have any relationships? 678 00:42:51,027 --> 00:42:53,530 Relationships? Yeah, I've had a few. 679 00:42:54,114 --> 00:42:56,825 But then again, too few to mention. 680 00:42:58,952 --> 00:43:00,036 I don't know. 681 00:43:05,542 --> 00:43:06,960 I saw that. 682 00:43:07,043 --> 00:43:08,837 So what? Are you a cop? 683 00:43:09,838 --> 00:43:12,382 I'm a stranger. Don't look at me. 684 00:43:14,551 --> 00:43:16,678 - Can you get some more of those? - More of what? 685 00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:19,347 Pills, man. Reds, whites, whatever. 686 00:43:20,348 --> 00:43:22,976 Might mean a little extra scratch for you. 687 00:43:23,059 --> 00:43:24,853 Pay off a loan or two. 688 00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:26,479 How do you know about that? 689 00:43:26,563 --> 00:43:28,315 All interns have loans. 690 00:43:29,399 --> 00:43:32,611 Meet me here same time next week with the goods, all right? 691 00:43:32,736 --> 00:43:35,989 I'll be in disguise, but you'll know me by the password: 692 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:37,574 - Vanilla. - Manila. 693 00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:39,659 - No, vanilla. - Vanilla. 694 00:43:41,536 --> 00:43:43,455 Can I look at you now? 695 00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:08,021 You look beautiful. 696 00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:10,899 You really look nice. 697 00:44:27,540 --> 00:44:31,378 Seven months, I've been in this stinking hospital, Sal. 698 00:44:32,128 --> 00:44:35,173 The Gallentino family's losing money. 699 00:44:36,633 --> 00:44:41,179 Do you realize the hell I've been going through since I've been here? 700 00:44:42,972 --> 00:44:45,266 They've made me drink chalk. 701 00:44:47,352 --> 00:44:49,854 They stuck a tube up my ass. 702 00:44:49,938 --> 00:44:51,731 They took x-rays. 703 00:44:51,940 --> 00:44:55,694 They got this little camera on a wire. 704 00:44:56,653 --> 00:44:59,155 They stuffed it up my wang. 705 00:44:59,656 --> 00:45:02,826 I've had a lot of things done to the old wang... 706 00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:05,203 but Rota-Rooter ain't one of them. 707 00:45:05,954 --> 00:45:07,539 Should I try it? 708 00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:14,838 Ladies and gentlemen, we have here a 46-year-old male... 709 00:45:14,921 --> 00:45:16,715 with an inflamed appendix. 710 00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:19,968 It will be removed by a 27-year-old male. 711 00:45:20,009 --> 00:45:21,886 With an inflamed ego. 712 00:45:22,971 --> 00:45:24,514 Do you really think that's funny? 713 00:45:24,597 --> 00:45:26,224 Dr. August. 714 00:45:29,018 --> 00:45:30,019 Well? 715 00:45:31,271 --> 00:45:32,272 Well, what? 716 00:45:32,856 --> 00:45:34,357 Start slicing. 717 00:45:40,530 --> 00:45:41,573 Yes. 718 00:45:58,798 --> 00:46:03,178 Doctor, if you plan to remove the appendix, you will have to break the skin. 719 00:46:12,562 --> 00:46:15,565 Simon's really starting to look like a doctor. 720 00:46:15,607 --> 00:46:18,443 Lyle, he should be playing football. 721 00:46:18,902 --> 00:46:20,361 Don't be silly, June. 722 00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:23,114 He'll save his hands for surgery, just like I did. 723 00:46:23,156 --> 00:46:26,075 Doctor, it's time for your birthday party. 724 00:46:26,743 --> 00:46:28,953 We lose the room in an hour, Doctor. 725 00:46:28,995 --> 00:46:32,248 - You're a great surgeon, Dad. - You're a great surgeon, too, my boy. 726 00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:33,958 Simon's going to be a great surgeon. 727 00:46:34,042 --> 00:46:36,586 Simon, show all your doctor friends how you operate. 728 00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:39,297 - Cut out the pinata's appendix. - Yes, Father. 729 00:46:39,422 --> 00:46:41,299 Show Grandpa how you cut. 730 00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:46,554 Cut him. 731 00:46:46,596 --> 00:46:48,014 Cut, Simon. 732 00:46:54,771 --> 00:46:57,232 No, I can't. 733 00:46:59,275 --> 00:47:00,652 I'm sorry. 734 00:47:01,194 --> 00:47:03,822 This is the world's greatest surgeon? 735 00:47:07,617 --> 00:47:10,870 Some people call it rookie-itis. 736 00:47:11,538 --> 00:47:13,957 Some people call it intern nerves. 737 00:47:14,624 --> 00:47:17,669 Me? I call it chickenshit. 738 00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:23,341 We will all remember Spot Moscowitz... 739 00:47:23,383 --> 00:47:26,386 because when he was alive, he remembered all of us. 740 00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:30,890 A devoted father, beloved husband, and could catch a Frisbee in his mouth. 741 00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:51,411 Do you come here often? 742 00:47:51,619 --> 00:47:52,704 Yes. 743 00:47:53,329 --> 00:47:55,957 Yes, I come here to see our mistakes. 744 00:47:56,374 --> 00:48:00,545 It inspires me to think that I could have saved some of these lives. 745 00:48:00,628 --> 00:48:04,549 They made fun of me, Stephanie. They laughed at me in the operating room. 746 00:48:04,591 --> 00:48:06,593 They said I was no good. 747 00:48:06,968 --> 00:48:09,554 Simon, there are other careers in medicine... 748 00:48:09,637 --> 00:48:12,181 that don't require surgical technique: 749 00:48:12,682 --> 00:48:16,477 Radiology, cardiology, dermatology, endocrinology. 750 00:48:16,519 --> 00:48:18,438 I have to be a surgeon! 751 00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:24,277 I know that I can overcome this fear of mine. 752 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,571 It's going to take some time. 753 00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:31,242 Will you help me, Stephanie? 754 00:48:36,205 --> 00:48:38,750 - Where are you taking me? - Don't ask. 755 00:48:51,346 --> 00:48:53,890 There's no other place to go, Simon. 756 00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:55,642 Look, I just... 757 00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:58,311 I just don't think I'm... 758 00:48:59,395 --> 00:49:01,981 I think I have a problem in this room. 759 00:49:02,065 --> 00:49:05,818 I just don't think that I'm gonna be able to... 760 00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:09,072 That I'm going to be able to function. 761 00:49:09,364 --> 00:49:11,699 There's only one cure for that. 762 00:49:12,617 --> 00:49:14,035 Me. 763 00:49:15,745 --> 00:49:17,747 I'm as scared as you are. 764 00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:22,919 I'm even more scared than you are. 765 00:49:25,838 --> 00:49:30,134 I've never even been in this room with my regular clothes on before. 766 00:49:49,195 --> 00:49:50,530 What is it? 767 00:49:51,030 --> 00:49:53,700 Heimlich maneuver. Come on, relax. 768 00:49:53,783 --> 00:49:56,744 Take it easy. One, two, three. 769 00:49:58,788 --> 00:50:00,206 You got it? 770 00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:05,086 Please, be careful what you swallow. 771 00:50:05,795 --> 00:50:08,131 I'll sew it on for you tomorrow. 772 00:50:32,697 --> 00:50:34,073 Put that phone down. 773 00:50:34,157 --> 00:50:36,659 You're always on the phone. Who are you talking to? 774 00:50:36,743 --> 00:50:39,454 - I'm tired of hiding. - I'm tired of you. 775 00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:42,540 - Angelo. - What? 776 00:50:42,623 --> 00:50:44,959 You're spending a lot of time at the hospital. 777 00:50:45,001 --> 00:50:47,712 My father's in there. I'm sacrificing myself. 778 00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:51,007 Suppose I get killed looking like that. It could ruin my reputation. 779 00:50:51,049 --> 00:50:53,217 That Dr. Rist called again. 780 00:50:53,551 --> 00:50:55,428 - When? - This afternoon. 781 00:50:56,262 --> 00:50:59,557 - What did he sound like? - He sounded like a doctor. 782 00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,601 He's a very good doctor. 783 00:51:03,144 --> 00:51:04,687 - Angelo. - What? 784 00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:08,274 Are you getting funny? 785 00:51:12,612 --> 00:51:15,114 I'll give you funny. Come over here. 786 00:51:18,159 --> 00:51:20,203 Where'd you put my purse? 787 00:51:25,458 --> 00:51:27,794 I'm glad I dragged you in here. 788 00:51:29,504 --> 00:51:32,048 I guess I can function in this room. 789 00:51:34,175 --> 00:51:36,469 I was never worried about that. 790 00:51:38,805 --> 00:51:40,848 I was worried about the tests. 791 00:51:40,890 --> 00:51:44,060 But now, no matter what happens with the tests... 792 00:51:44,519 --> 00:51:46,687 I will have had sex with you. 793 00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,982 You call that sex? 794 00:51:53,111 --> 00:51:56,656 Now let's try it again, and stop chatting so much. 795 00:51:56,739 --> 00:51:59,575 - Dr. Ludwig! - How long have you been there? 796 00:52:00,118 --> 00:52:03,579 Let's just say I loved it when you bit his buttons. 797 00:52:05,998 --> 00:52:08,543 Doctor, what are you doing up there? 798 00:52:08,584 --> 00:52:12,588 I've been looking all over for you two. I have the test results. 799 00:52:14,924 --> 00:52:17,760 And? Negative. Every one. 800 00:52:19,595 --> 00:52:21,973 You did the Lastfogel's process and everything? 801 00:52:22,014 --> 00:52:24,809 I did everything, even the Lastfogel. 802 00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:27,854 Thank you, Doctor. 803 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,324 Was there anything else? 804 00:52:40,408 --> 00:52:43,744 No, go right ahead. I'll just stay here and observe. 805 00:52:44,412 --> 00:52:46,038 Beat it, Doctor. 806 00:52:48,124 --> 00:52:51,460 No, I didn't mean that. I mean, leave. 807 00:52:58,509 --> 00:53:00,469 Will you stay with me, Stephanie? 808 00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:03,139 I can't stay in Beverly Hills, Simon. 809 00:53:03,556 --> 00:53:06,517 They're waiting for me in Burnaby Mountain. 810 00:53:17,862 --> 00:53:20,489 But you didn't do the Lastfogel's test. 811 00:53:22,867 --> 00:53:25,161 Good morning, Happy Labor Day. 812 00:53:26,996 --> 00:53:28,289 No pulse. 813 00:53:28,956 --> 00:53:30,374 We lost him. 814 00:53:31,334 --> 00:53:32,752 He's alive. 815 00:53:34,837 --> 00:53:37,798 I've got to get this watch fixed. Welcome back. 816 00:53:39,425 --> 00:53:41,010 Good morning, Happy Halloween. 817 00:53:41,093 --> 00:53:44,722 Mrs. Bauer, I don't like the way your husband looks. 818 00:53:45,223 --> 00:53:48,267 I don't either, but he's good to the children. 819 00:53:48,351 --> 00:53:50,353 Good afternoon. Happy Thanksgiving. 820 00:53:51,020 --> 00:53:53,064 I looked in your mouth... 821 00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:55,816 checked your breasts... 822 00:53:56,025 --> 00:53:58,402 probed every part of your body. 823 00:53:59,028 --> 00:54:00,863 Well, what's wrong with me? 824 00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:03,157 How should I know? I'm a lawyer. 825 00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:06,160 Merry Christmas. City Hospital. 826 00:54:12,541 --> 00:54:14,168 You need a dime? 827 00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:17,922 Here, I got it. Put it right in there. 828 00:54:17,964 --> 00:54:19,757 Thank you very much. 829 00:54:19,799 --> 00:54:21,384 You know, I was wondering... 830 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:24,220 there's this big party tonight at Dr. Prang's home. 831 00:54:24,303 --> 00:54:25,846 A lot of broads? 832 00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:30,559 There'll be a lot of, you know, other women there to chat with. 833 00:54:30,601 --> 00:54:32,603 I love fucking chatting. 834 00:54:32,728 --> 00:54:34,230 - You do? - Yeah. 835 00:54:34,939 --> 00:54:36,774 Come on, pick up the fucking phone. 836 00:54:36,857 --> 00:54:39,944 I thought maybe you'd want to go. 837 00:54:40,236 --> 00:54:42,613 - Yeah, sure. - You would? 838 00:54:42,697 --> 00:54:44,740 - It's not much of a notice. - That's all right. 839 00:54:44,824 --> 00:54:46,909 Pick up the fucking phone. 840 00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:50,246 Hello, Rocco, this is Angie. 841 00:54:50,288 --> 00:54:52,873 Pop's fine. He's gonna have a peaceful Christmas. 842 00:54:55,418 --> 00:54:56,794 That's good. 843 00:55:06,262 --> 00:55:08,514 Seven operations, Sal. 844 00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:11,809 Forty-two stitches. 845 00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:14,854 A year in this crummy hospital. 846 00:55:15,438 --> 00:55:19,066 This Mr. Callahan was a sick man. 847 00:55:29,493 --> 00:55:31,245 O key-d o key. 848 00:55:35,916 --> 00:55:38,502 Have a nice trip, Sal. 849 00:55:56,020 --> 00:55:59,273 It must be difficult for Dr. Prang after his divorce. 850 00:55:59,315 --> 00:56:01,317 I hear he throws a wild party, though. 851 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,944 I want it to be a nice, cozy party. 852 00:56:05,404 --> 00:56:08,324 You know, the kind with chestnuts roasting on an open fire. 853 00:56:08,407 --> 00:56:10,409 Hi, welcome to Dr. Prang's party. 854 00:56:10,451 --> 00:56:12,328 - Hello. - How do you do? 855 00:56:12,870 --> 00:56:14,747 You should have that dark mole removed. 856 00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:17,166 - You mean this one here? - The light ones can stay... 857 00:56:17,208 --> 00:56:19,335 - Simon. - Do you get keloids? 858 00:56:20,669 --> 00:56:23,672 - Where's Dr. Prang? - He's in his room, resting. 859 00:56:27,551 --> 00:56:29,720 Doctor. 860 00:56:35,184 --> 00:56:37,978 - I knew it. - What? 861 00:56:38,020 --> 00:56:41,732 - I'm fucking overdressed. - No you're not. You look beautiful. 862 00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:46,070 Now you can say anything you want. 863 00:56:53,786 --> 00:56:56,455 I want to grease down... 864 00:56:57,331 --> 00:57:01,752 and slide all over your body like a snake. 865 00:57:02,294 --> 00:57:03,796 I'd like that. 866 00:57:07,007 --> 00:57:10,094 "Drink to me only with thine eyes." 867 00:57:14,390 --> 00:57:17,184 Relax, take off your key. 868 00:57:19,186 --> 00:57:21,522 Look, the margaritas are ready. 869 00:57:21,897 --> 00:57:25,568 You're a doctor, aren't you? You must make a lot of money. 870 00:57:25,818 --> 00:57:27,945 No, actually I'm an intern. 871 00:57:28,237 --> 00:57:29,488 Goodbye. 872 00:57:30,156 --> 00:57:32,158 Excuse me, are you rich? 873 00:57:32,199 --> 00:57:36,120 If we don't get our checks by the end of the week, we're going on strike. 874 00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:38,622 - Would you like to... - I'd love to. 875 00:57:38,831 --> 00:57:40,666 Let me ask you a question. 876 00:57:40,749 --> 00:57:43,502 If you could go to any show, in any theater, anywhere... 877 00:57:43,586 --> 00:57:45,588 what show would you pick? 878 00:57:46,297 --> 00:57:47,756 Ice Capades. 879 00:57:48,466 --> 00:57:51,594 - Ice Capades? - Ice Capades. I like the Ice Capades. 880 00:57:51,635 --> 00:57:53,971 You know, I think Ice Capades are in Cleveland. 881 00:57:54,013 --> 00:57:55,431 Yeah, or Holiday on Ice. 882 00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:59,059 Holiday on Ice? I can definitely get a couple of tickets. 883 00:57:59,602 --> 00:58:02,771 - Did you see those tits over there? - I'm sorry. 884 00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:05,858 Don't be sorry. Santa Claus' helper over there without a shirt? 885 00:58:05,941 --> 00:58:08,402 - Are you embarrassed by that? - Embarrassed? No. 886 00:58:08,444 --> 00:58:09,820 - Dr. Prang always... - Fuck Prang. 887 00:58:09,904 --> 00:58:12,740 - Did you see those tits over there? - Try not to notice them. 888 00:58:12,781 --> 00:58:15,534 - Let's talk about Holiday on Ice. - Fuck Holiday on Ice. 889 00:58:15,618 --> 00:58:17,036 A bunch of fags skating. 890 00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:20,080 Did you see those tits on that lady there? Gorgeous. 891 00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:22,750 - Can I get in here? - I don't think so. 892 00:58:26,337 --> 00:58:28,380 - Hi, Bucky. - Julie! 893 00:58:29,131 --> 00:58:32,551 What are you doing here? You're not working the party are you? 894 00:58:32,635 --> 00:58:34,678 - Of course not. - Then what? 895 00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:37,014 I have a surprise for you. 896 00:58:38,724 --> 00:58:40,976 I'm really pregnant this time. 897 00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:46,607 I want to be sexual with you, do you hear me? 898 00:58:46,649 --> 00:58:48,067 I hear you, Phil. 899 00:58:48,150 --> 00:58:50,486 I want to be physical with you. 900 00:58:53,405 --> 00:58:56,700 I want to make the beast with two backs with you. 901 00:58:58,911 --> 00:59:00,829 Don't get Kinney, Phil. 902 00:59:01,038 --> 00:59:02,581 Kinky. 903 00:59:02,998 --> 00:59:05,709 Kinney is where America shops for shoes. 904 00:59:08,837 --> 00:59:11,048 The latest from Wall Street. 905 00:59:11,090 --> 00:59:14,051 Blue chips showed an upward trend on the New York Exchange... 906 00:59:14,093 --> 00:59:16,595 with the prime lending rate rocketing to 25%... 907 00:59:16,679 --> 00:59:18,681 with little improvement shown. 908 00:59:18,764 --> 00:59:20,182 Dr. Prang? 909 00:59:20,683 --> 00:59:23,060 I'm Jyll Omato, from the gift shop. 910 00:59:23,102 --> 00:59:25,938 I'm your Christmas present from the staff. 911 00:59:26,522 --> 00:59:28,691 Speculators who were heavily leveraged... 912 00:59:28,732 --> 00:59:32,528 were particularly affected as brokers called in their margins. 913 00:59:32,611 --> 00:59:34,321 Consumer confidence fell... 914 00:59:34,363 --> 00:59:35,614 Not now. 915 00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:39,743 Industrials are down 30 points, Chemicals leveled off at 16... 916 00:59:39,785 --> 00:59:43,414 while Rails faded toward the close to a low of 43. 917 00:59:49,211 --> 00:59:50,546 Okay, now. 918 00:59:52,548 --> 00:59:53,757 Simon. 919 00:59:56,302 --> 00:59:58,137 You're out here all alone. 920 00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:01,932 Sure. Before you came along, I was always alone, Stephanie. 921 01:00:03,267 --> 01:00:05,269 I believe in you, Simon. 922 01:00:06,228 --> 01:00:08,772 I've made a very important decision. 923 01:00:09,982 --> 01:00:12,776 Simon, I'm ready to give up Burnaby Mountain... 924 01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:16,488 if it means I can be with the man I love in Beverly Hills. 925 01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:21,327 You love a man in Beverly Hills? 926 01:00:24,455 --> 01:00:25,956 Simon, think. 927 01:00:27,166 --> 01:00:28,584 Concentrate. 928 01:01:10,376 --> 01:01:14,338 Everyone, quiet please. I have an announcement I'd like to make. 929 01:01:19,843 --> 01:01:22,846 Stephanie Brody and I are going to be married. 930 01:01:26,058 --> 01:01:28,185 Congratulations, Stephanie. 931 01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:35,109 Let me call you sweetheart 932 01:01:35,150 --> 01:01:36,527 Thank you. 933 01:01:36,610 --> 01:01:41,573 I'm in love with you 934 01:01:41,657 --> 01:01:43,826 Move out of the way. Thank you. 935 01:01:43,867 --> 01:01:47,746 Let me hear you whisper 936 01:01:48,330 --> 01:01:53,210 that you love me, too 937 01:01:56,672 --> 01:02:01,385 Keep the love-light glowing 938 01:02:01,427 --> 01:02:06,557 In your eyes so true 939 01:02:10,144 --> 01:02:14,690 Let me call you sweetheart 940 01:02:15,983 --> 01:02:19,361 I'm in love 941 01:02:20,946 --> 01:02:24,032 with you 942 01:02:24,616 --> 01:02:27,703 - Excuse me, I'm a doctor. - Excuse me, I'm a doctor. 943 01:02:27,786 --> 01:02:29,955 Actually, I'm a lab technician. 944 01:02:30,038 --> 01:02:32,708 - Excuse me, I'm a doctor. - It's all right, we're doctors. 945 01:02:32,750 --> 01:02:34,501 Someone call an ambulance! 946 01:02:38,380 --> 01:02:39,882 It's all right, we're doctors. 947 01:02:39,965 --> 01:02:42,551 Goddamn you. Why didn't you do the Lastfogel? 948 01:02:42,593 --> 01:02:46,597 I don't need a battery of tests to tell me if a patient has saxafragia mitosis. 949 01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,724 I knew it the first time I laid eyes on her. 950 01:02:48,766 --> 01:02:50,851 Why did you tell us the tests were negative? 951 01:02:50,893 --> 01:02:53,937 What did you want me to do? Say she's a goner? 952 01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:57,733 Sorry, doc. I wanted you kids to have a nice Christmas. 953 01:02:57,775 --> 01:03:00,444 She's not a goner. It's been cured by surgery before. 954 01:03:00,486 --> 01:03:03,614 Once! Once out of 6,000 cases. 955 01:03:03,697 --> 01:03:05,699 It's the most complex surgery there is. 956 01:03:05,741 --> 01:03:09,119 There's only one doctor in the world that's ever done it successfully. 957 01:03:09,161 --> 01:03:11,789 I'll go find that doctor and make him do it for her. 958 01:03:11,872 --> 01:03:14,917 You won't have to go far. He's right here in this hospital. 959 01:03:14,958 --> 01:03:17,586 - Who? - Dr. Prang, as a matter of fact. 960 01:03:17,628 --> 01:03:20,756 - He can perform an operation. - What operation? 961 01:03:20,798 --> 01:03:23,133 It's a paraglobular underpass... 962 01:03:23,175 --> 01:03:26,470 with a subarachnoid angulation of the sphenoid wing. 963 01:03:27,721 --> 01:03:28,889 Will he do it? 964 01:03:28,931 --> 01:03:30,766 I spoke to him briefly this evening. 965 01:03:30,808 --> 01:03:34,978 He said he'd get back to me as soon as he got the girl off his face. 966 01:03:35,020 --> 01:03:38,106 - Fine. - I'll check in later, okay? 967 01:03:40,067 --> 01:03:41,693 Merry Christmas. 968 01:03:43,695 --> 01:03:45,322 Who was the girl? 969 01:03:45,864 --> 01:03:48,367 - Jyll Omato. - Omato. 970 01:03:49,284 --> 01:03:51,370 You say Omato, I say Omato. 971 01:03:55,958 --> 01:03:59,086 I want a lover with a slow hand 972 01:03:59,127 --> 01:04:01,797 want a lover with an easy touch 973 01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:09,429 Your daughter Angela is a very lovely girl. 974 01:04:09,471 --> 01:04:11,682 And she cares about you a lot. 975 01:04:11,723 --> 01:04:14,393 I've got an idea. Why don't I get these flowers... 976 01:04:14,476 --> 01:04:18,730 you give them to Angela and let her know how much you care about her? 977 01:04:22,985 --> 01:04:25,112 - Mrs. Greschler? - What? 978 01:04:25,153 --> 01:04:27,155 Could I please have some carnations? 979 01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:29,449 - You want carnations? - Please. 980 01:04:29,491 --> 01:04:32,452 - I've got lovely mums. - You don't want any mums, do you? 981 01:04:32,494 --> 01:04:34,496 - You don't want any mums? - No. Carnations. 982 01:04:34,580 --> 01:04:37,499 - You don't want mums? - No, I think carnations. 983 01:04:37,541 --> 01:04:40,294 Nobody wants my lousy mums. Got to be carnations. 984 01:04:40,335 --> 01:04:42,004 The ones down at the end are fine. 985 01:04:42,045 --> 01:04:44,506 I've got some right down here. I'll get them for you. 986 01:04:44,548 --> 01:04:47,718 - Thank you, Mrs. Greschler. - Just a minute. These are lovely, too. 987 01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:50,554 Not as lovely as mums, but they're good. 988 01:04:50,596 --> 01:04:53,682 - Thank you, Mrs. Greschler. Bye-bye. - Thank you. 989 01:04:53,974 --> 01:04:56,476 Rist, have you heard anything about your residency? 990 01:04:56,518 --> 01:04:57,728 Not yet, Litto. 991 01:04:57,769 --> 01:05:00,731 I guess you could say I'm the kind of guy who's tuned in. 992 01:05:00,814 --> 01:05:03,317 Tuned in to holistic psychiatry. 993 01:05:09,698 --> 01:05:11,074 No smoking. 994 01:05:12,784 --> 01:05:14,786 All right, Mr. Callahan. 995 01:05:15,037 --> 01:05:17,456 It's time for our bodily function. 996 01:05:17,539 --> 01:05:19,041 Mrs. Greschler. 997 01:05:21,376 --> 01:05:25,130 - I'd like to buy some chrysanthemums. - I've got some mums. 998 01:06:03,627 --> 01:06:04,920 Attention please. 999 01:06:05,003 --> 01:06:08,840 Anyone who has had contact with the gift shop candy-striper Jyll Omato... 1000 01:06:08,924 --> 01:06:11,259 please report to the VD clinic. 1001 01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:19,351 Let me tell you about this operation, kid. 1002 01:06:19,434 --> 01:06:21,728 It's a maze, do you understand? 1003 01:06:22,062 --> 01:06:24,022 You have to shut off three arteries. 1004 01:06:24,064 --> 01:06:26,191 You have to regulate four enzyme flows. 1005 01:06:26,274 --> 01:06:29,778 You have to replace two fluids and a blood supply, twice. 1006 01:06:29,861 --> 01:06:31,822 One teeny weeny little mistake... 1007 01:06:31,863 --> 01:06:35,701 and you might as well piss on the fire and call the dogs 'cause it's all over. 1008 01:06:35,784 --> 01:06:38,453 - I will be there to assist you, Doctor. - You? 1009 01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:41,164 I wouldn't let you take a splinter out of a rat's ass. 1010 01:06:41,248 --> 01:06:44,668 - Look, you've done the operation before. - Yes. But no more. 1011 01:06:44,710 --> 01:06:46,837 This one is not meant to be. 1012 01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:51,383 Dr. Prang, I've appealed to you as a physician, and as a man. 1013 01:06:52,134 --> 01:06:55,053 There's only one other way to put this to you. 1014 01:06:55,137 --> 01:06:57,639 Will you operate on Stephanie Brody? 1015 01:06:57,681 --> 01:06:58,724 No. 1016 01:06:59,433 --> 01:07:02,686 Okay. We'll need an anesthesiologist. 1017 01:07:02,728 --> 01:07:05,731 We'll need an endocrine person. We'll get all the best people. 1018 01:07:05,814 --> 01:07:08,233 We'll work with them till they can do it blind-folded. 1019 01:07:08,316 --> 01:07:10,193 We'll have fun with it. 1020 01:07:10,569 --> 01:07:12,571 Emilia, press the button. 1021 01:07:12,654 --> 01:07:13,739 Okay. 1022 01:07:17,784 --> 01:07:20,162 Now she's in somebody else's bed. 1023 01:07:41,349 --> 01:07:43,351 I really appreciate this, Dr. Prang. 1024 01:07:43,393 --> 01:07:46,063 Okay. Just don't hit me anymore. Who's that on the end? 1025 01:07:46,146 --> 01:07:47,731 That's Dr. Quick, Doctor. 1026 01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:50,859 Doppenheimer's out of town. He recommended Quick himself. 1027 01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:53,653 Never mind. All right. Everybody ready? 1028 01:07:54,488 --> 01:07:55,739 Scalpel. 1029 01:07:55,781 --> 01:07:59,743 - Ready with the dialysis retractor? - On. Counting now, Dr. Prang. 1030 01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:02,829 - Give it to me in fives. X-ray? - Fifty. 1031 01:08:02,871 --> 01:08:04,122 Blood count? 1032 01:08:05,665 --> 01:08:08,919 Fifteen on twelve. 1033 01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:12,631 - Heart? - Normal. 1034 01:08:12,714 --> 01:08:14,424 - X-ray? - Twenty-five. 1035 01:08:14,466 --> 01:08:16,051 - Moving. No shadow. - Twenty. 1036 01:08:16,093 --> 01:08:18,095 - Renostomy count, quickly. - 25 over 20. 1037 01:08:18,178 --> 01:08:19,221 Fifteen. 1038 01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:21,473 - Platinum wire. - Platinum wire. 1039 01:08:23,725 --> 01:08:27,896 Seventeen, damn it! 1040 01:08:27,979 --> 01:08:29,439 - Time? - Ten seconds. 1041 01:08:29,481 --> 01:08:30,941 - Five. - Nope. We're in trouble. 1042 01:08:31,024 --> 01:08:32,776 - Nine seconds. - We're losing her. 1043 01:08:32,818 --> 01:08:35,320 - Eight seconds. - I've reopened the scarpoid valve. 1044 01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:37,322 - Seven seconds. - Oxygen. 1045 01:08:37,906 --> 01:08:40,659 Oxygen. 1046 01:08:40,742 --> 01:08:42,744 - Counting down. - Four seconds. 1047 01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:46,081 Two seconds. 1048 01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:48,708 - Gattling frappe, quickly. - One second. 1049 01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:50,293 - Zero, Doctor. - That's it. 1050 01:08:50,377 --> 01:08:51,920 No, never mind! 1051 01:08:53,130 --> 01:08:54,714 We've lost her. 1052 01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:56,424 We killed her. 1053 01:08:58,593 --> 01:09:01,513 We'll have to do better than that, won't we? 1054 01:09:01,972 --> 01:09:04,224 All right, let's try it again. 1055 01:09:04,266 --> 01:09:07,185 Only this time, let's practice on him. You son of a... 1056 01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:13,024 Dr prang you just had ., a very urgent call from your accountant. 1057 01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:15,402 Oscar? What did he say? 1058 01:09:15,443 --> 01:09:17,279 He said you're broke. 1059 01:09:17,863 --> 01:09:19,072 Broke? 1060 01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:22,492 Attention. Tomorrow Dr. Prang will perform... 1061 01:09:22,534 --> 01:09:26,454 a saxafragia mitosis operation on our very own Stephanie Brody. 1062 01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:29,791 Tickets are still available. The public is invited. 1063 01:09:33,044 --> 01:09:34,504 Don't worry, Emilia. 1064 01:09:34,546 --> 01:09:37,632 We'll fix this bed outside, so you won't hit the ceiling. 1065 01:09:37,674 --> 01:09:39,217 Ice cream. 1066 01:09:42,971 --> 01:09:45,849 Vanilla ice cream. We have established that. 1067 01:09:45,891 --> 01:09:48,476 Did I hear you say you wanted some vanilla ice cream? 1068 01:09:48,518 --> 01:09:50,478 Vanilla ice cream, yeah. 1069 01:09:51,438 --> 01:09:54,816 When last we met, I quoted you $20 on these. 1070 01:09:54,858 --> 01:09:55,984 You've got it. 1071 01:09:56,026 --> 01:09:58,153 As we speak, people grow badly addicted to them. 1072 01:09:58,236 --> 01:10:01,281 I'm gonna have to ask you for $40 and I'll throw in water pills. 1073 01:10:01,323 --> 01:10:03,533 - I'd rather have the bag. - Fine, you can... 1074 01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:08,163 I'm a doctor! I worked hard for this. 1075 01:10:10,248 --> 01:10:12,250 This is typical. 1076 01:10:18,590 --> 01:10:20,425 We'll get your buddy. 1077 01:10:21,301 --> 01:10:22,594 Don't worry. 1078 01:10:22,677 --> 01:10:23,845 Phil? 1079 01:10:24,846 --> 01:10:26,514 Can I talk to her? 1080 01:10:26,556 --> 01:10:28,058 For a minute. 1081 01:10:32,812 --> 01:10:34,397 Freeze! 1082 01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:41,446 Let's go. It's going to be a car chase. 1083 01:10:41,780 --> 01:10:43,740 Door's locked. No chase. 1084 01:10:48,245 --> 01:10:49,496 Freeze! 1085 01:10:50,247 --> 01:10:52,290 Am I pointing this at you? 1086 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:55,377 Good job, Blind Officer. 1087 01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,712 - Did we get them? - We got them. 1088 01:10:58,088 --> 01:10:59,923 Hi. What's your name? 1089 01:11:00,632 --> 01:11:03,510 I'm sorry, Phil, but it just had to be this way. 1090 01:11:03,551 --> 01:11:04,970 I guess so. 1091 01:11:05,053 --> 01:11:07,597 Listen, when you tell people about this... 1092 01:11:07,681 --> 01:11:09,975 and I want you to tell a lot of people... 1093 01:11:10,058 --> 01:11:11,768 use me as a warning. 1094 01:11:11,851 --> 01:11:14,646 You worked so hard to be a doctor. 1095 01:11:15,438 --> 01:11:16,982 Do me a favor. 1096 01:11:17,399 --> 01:11:20,402 Tell medicine that I'm no good for it. 1097 01:11:22,404 --> 01:11:24,072 Did you like me? 1098 01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:36,584 Yes. 1099 01:11:41,131 --> 01:11:44,050 - Why did you do it, anyway? - Reaganomics. 1100 01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:49,306 Attention, all nurses report to the picket line outside. 1101 01:11:49,389 --> 01:11:51,516 We're going on strike, baby. 1102 01:11:52,350 --> 01:11:53,351 Hi. 1103 01:11:54,686 --> 01:11:56,354 Nurses unite! 1104 01:12:01,443 --> 01:12:04,362 - Out of our way, Doctor. - Wait a minute. Where are you going? 1105 01:12:04,404 --> 01:12:06,614 Out! As of this minute, the nurses are on strike. 1106 01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:08,325 You can't walk out now. 1107 01:12:08,408 --> 01:12:12,078 Stephanie is due in surgery. If we don't operate, she might not make it. 1108 01:12:12,120 --> 01:12:15,540 - Talk to Dr. Prang. - He hasn't paid us in two months. 1109 01:12:16,583 --> 01:12:18,501 You're taking this very well, Stephanie. 1110 01:12:18,668 --> 01:12:20,086 Hello, excuse me. 1111 01:12:20,128 --> 01:12:23,089 You were just visiting someone at this hospital, weren't you? 1112 01:12:23,131 --> 01:12:24,215 That's right. 1113 01:12:24,299 --> 01:12:27,010 - May I ask you a question? - Sure, go right ahead. 1114 01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:29,929 What do you think of this nurses' strike? 1115 01:12:30,472 --> 01:12:33,767 I got nothing to do with this at all. 1116 01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:37,020 Hey, asshole, get off the car! 1117 01:12:37,562 --> 01:12:39,105 You hear? 1118 01:12:39,147 --> 01:12:40,523 Listen, excuse me. 1119 01:12:40,607 --> 01:12:43,735 I don't give a fuck about this, but there's an asshole on my car. 1120 01:12:43,818 --> 01:12:45,779 - Thank you very much. - Come here! 1121 01:12:45,820 --> 01:12:50,200 Get off the fucking car. Fucking pleasure. I'm gonna rip your nose off. 1122 01:12:50,950 --> 01:12:52,702 They're not coming, are they? 1123 01:12:52,744 --> 01:12:55,663 We're just running a bit late, that's all. They'll be here. 1124 01:12:55,705 --> 01:12:59,250 We've got to help Simon. He's stuck up there without any nurses. 1125 01:12:59,334 --> 01:13:03,463 Remember, this is why we want to be doctors in the first place. Okay? 1126 01:13:03,505 --> 01:13:06,174 Rist, your patient Sal's going home. 1127 01:13:07,342 --> 01:13:10,929 Okay, the three of you should help. I'll meet you there. 1128 01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:16,267 Dr prang you're wanted in surgery .,. 1129 01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:19,729 Sal, it's finally time to go home. 1130 01:13:19,813 --> 01:13:22,816 Hospital policy, you have to take your last ride in a wheelchair. 1131 01:13:22,857 --> 01:13:25,151 Hey, ragazzo, I don't need no chair. 1132 01:13:25,193 --> 01:13:27,737 - Okay, we'll change the policy. - Change the policy. 1133 01:13:27,821 --> 01:13:30,073 - This is for you. - For me? 1134 01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:34,661 It's from your daughter. 1135 01:13:36,413 --> 01:13:37,997 My dear Walter. 1136 01:13:38,039 --> 01:13:40,625 It would be foolish of me to deny... 1137 01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:45,004 that you have aroused in me certain feelings that I thought I never had. 1138 01:13:45,547 --> 01:13:49,801 Your sensitivity, kindness, and care have moved me deeply. 1139 01:13:50,510 --> 01:13:52,971 But for various fucking reasons... 1140 01:13:53,054 --> 01:13:56,057 ours is a relationship that cannot be. 1141 01:13:56,349 --> 01:14:00,145 If there's ever anything I can do for you, please let me know. 1142 01:14:00,228 --> 01:14:02,897 Thank you for everything. Angie. 1143 01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:05,900 Rocco, make sure the car's ready, all right? 1144 01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:12,740 - You weren't supposed to be here. - Get me out of here! 1145 01:14:13,867 --> 01:14:16,703 Fill out this affidavit. It's a malpractice affidavit. 1146 01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:18,913 - English? - Yeah, in English. 1147 01:14:29,591 --> 01:14:31,676 This isn't gonna work... 1148 01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:34,762 because there's things about me that you just don't know. 1149 01:14:34,804 --> 01:14:37,807 What? We've always been honest with each other. 1150 01:14:37,849 --> 01:14:40,435 If it's the fact that you curse all the time, I can... 1151 01:14:40,477 --> 01:14:43,897 I can control that. I don't give a fuck about that. Listen to me. 1152 01:14:43,938 --> 01:14:46,274 Here, feel that. Go on, feel that. 1153 01:14:46,316 --> 01:14:47,984 - It's pretty. - Not that! 1154 01:14:48,026 --> 01:14:50,570 When you look at me, what do you see? 1155 01:14:50,862 --> 01:14:53,114 I see a beautiful human being. 1156 01:14:56,367 --> 01:14:57,827 I'm married. 1157 01:14:58,912 --> 01:15:00,163 Married? 1158 01:15:08,421 --> 01:15:13,176 Please, don't hate me, Walter. I couldn't stand it. 1159 01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:23,269 Are you happily married? 1160 01:15:35,448 --> 01:15:38,701 Dr prang Dr August is waiting .,.. 1161 01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:43,289 Oscar, what do you mean, indictment? 1162 01:15:43,331 --> 01:15:45,583 They made me turn over the hospital records. 1163 01:15:45,667 --> 01:15:47,085 So what? I'm clean. 1164 01:15:47,168 --> 01:15:49,796 Guess again, Joseph. You know the $400,000 loss? 1165 01:15:49,837 --> 01:15:53,007 That was recorded as surgery you never performed. 1166 01:15:53,049 --> 01:15:55,385 Why, you slimy little wimp wart. 1167 01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:59,180 I had to do it, Joseph. You needed money for the condos. 1168 01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:02,517 Why don't you just cash in the pension plan, reimburse Medicare? 1169 01:16:02,600 --> 01:16:04,644 You don't have a pension plan anymore. 1170 01:16:04,686 --> 01:16:07,939 I had to cash that in to cover your losses in the silver market. 1171 01:16:08,022 --> 01:16:10,733 Silver? I was never into silver. 1172 01:16:11,067 --> 01:16:14,612 Yes, you were. It was supposed to be a surprise for your anniversary. 1173 01:16:14,696 --> 01:16:18,032 And then Sarah zapped you, and the bottom fell out of the market. 1174 01:16:18,074 --> 01:16:19,909 That's why they call it risk capital. 1175 01:16:19,993 --> 01:16:22,412 Joseph, it'll be all right. What the heck? 1176 01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:26,249 You're a brilliant surgeon. We'll declare bankruptcy. We'll sell the... 1177 01:16:26,291 --> 01:16:28,626 Joseph, don't do it to yourself. 1178 01:16:30,795 --> 01:16:32,046 Myself? 1179 01:16:34,966 --> 01:16:36,467 Joey, no! 1180 01:16:36,551 --> 01:16:38,595 Oscar, you're through as my accountant. 1181 01:16:38,678 --> 01:16:41,389 Don't, Joey! God, Joey, you hurt my hand. 1182 01:16:41,431 --> 01:16:44,934 You hurt my... Joseph, please! No! Don't do it! 1183 01:16:45,935 --> 01:16:49,939 Five minutes before the operation. We're letting the audience in. 1184 01:16:50,023 --> 01:16:53,109 Meet your volunteer scrub nurses. 1185 01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:54,944 Chamberlain. 1186 01:16:55,403 --> 01:16:58,781 Litto. My friend Flicker. 1187 01:16:59,532 --> 01:17:02,285 Stephanie, look... She's... 1188 01:17:02,994 --> 01:17:04,537 Where's Dr. Prang? 1189 01:17:04,579 --> 01:17:07,457 Well, don't worry. He's probably just going over his notes. 1190 01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:14,339 Get out of the way, you sick bastard. 1191 01:17:16,132 --> 01:17:17,967 Welcome to City Hospital. 1192 01:17:18,009 --> 01:17:20,261 Everyone, remain in your assigned seats. 1193 01:17:20,303 --> 01:17:22,930 No standing, and no flash photography. 1194 01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:24,349 Attention. 1195 01:17:24,432 --> 01:17:28,519 No one will be seated during the last 10 minutes of the operation. 1196 01:17:31,230 --> 01:17:33,983 Attention, Dr. Prang. Report to Surgery. 1197 01:17:35,568 --> 01:17:39,405 Think of what you're doing. This isn't rational. Joseph! 1198 01:17:40,156 --> 01:17:42,075 I'm calling the police. 1199 01:17:46,329 --> 01:17:51,000 Due to the nurses' strike, we're being staffed today by new volunteers. 1200 01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:54,462 Would those among you who have had first-aid training... 1201 01:17:54,504 --> 01:17:57,674 come to the desk and get some Band-Aids that I've laid out there? 1202 01:17:57,757 --> 01:18:01,636 The rest of you will just take a number, and we'll get to you as soon as possible. 1203 01:18:01,678 --> 01:18:05,431 - Call the police! - Sir, you'll have to take a number. 1204 01:18:05,807 --> 01:18:07,350 He's got a gun! 1205 01:18:08,893 --> 01:18:12,438 Dr prang this is Dr August .,.. Report to Surgery. 1206 01:18:24,075 --> 01:18:25,076 Hi. 1207 01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:30,289 Sorry. 1208 01:18:34,502 --> 01:18:37,797 Don't worry. He's just some crazy honky with a gun. 1209 01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:41,217 Be honest with me. What are my chances? 1210 01:18:43,010 --> 01:18:44,303 That bad? 1211 01:18:48,391 --> 01:18:50,727 Prang, you're wanted in Surgery! 1212 01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:54,522 You'd better scrub up. Come on. 1213 01:18:54,564 --> 01:18:58,317 - No, I'm going to wait for Dr. Prang. - Don't wait for Prang. 1214 01:18:58,359 --> 01:19:00,236 - Pardon? - Don't wait for Prang. 1215 01:19:00,278 --> 01:19:01,320 Why? 1216 01:19:01,362 --> 01:19:03,865 We got a problem. Dr. Prang is very upset. 1217 01:19:03,948 --> 01:19:06,075 Upset? Let me tell you something, Simon. 1218 01:19:06,117 --> 01:19:08,619 I don't think the man is in the mood for surgery. 1219 01:19:08,703 --> 01:19:10,913 - Kurtzman, please. - I'm sorry. 1220 01:19:10,997 --> 01:19:14,417 What about the other doctors? What about Stevens? What about Byner? 1221 01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:18,171 They won't come if Prang isn't there. They say it's completely useless. 1222 01:19:18,212 --> 01:19:21,424 - Go ahead, tell him. - What I'm trying to say is... 1223 01:19:21,466 --> 01:19:24,010 that you're gonna have to do the operation, son. 1224 01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:27,972 Don't worry about a thing. I'm sure you're well aware of my reputation. 1225 01:19:28,055 --> 01:19:31,517 And I'm gonna be right there with you every step of the way. 1226 01:19:31,559 --> 01:19:32,769 And me. 1227 01:19:33,686 --> 01:19:35,438 Don't worry, there'll be no pressure. 1228 01:19:35,521 --> 01:19:39,817 It'll just be like any other operation that you've never done before. 1229 01:19:39,901 --> 01:19:42,361 - Kurtzman, could I talk with you a minute? - Sure. 1230 01:19:53,748 --> 01:19:56,125 They told me what's going on. 1231 01:19:58,169 --> 01:20:01,506 You have to do it, Simon. You have to substitute for Prang. 1232 01:20:01,589 --> 01:20:05,218 We need an anesthesiologist. We need an endocrine man. Nurses. 1233 01:20:05,259 --> 01:20:07,136 Listen, we can do all those things. 1234 01:20:07,178 --> 01:20:10,306 Not to mention a small matter of a couple of competent surgeons. 1235 01:20:10,348 --> 01:20:12,183 Simon, you can do it. 1236 01:20:13,434 --> 01:20:16,854 You can. Listen, you watched Prang rehearse it, right? 1237 01:20:17,230 --> 01:20:19,190 And besides, you got all of us. 1238 01:20:19,232 --> 01:20:22,902 Litto is a great anesthesiologist. He can knock anybody out. 1239 01:20:22,944 --> 01:20:26,113 And Milton knows the stomach inside out. 1240 01:20:26,447 --> 01:20:28,199 He'll come in handy. 1241 01:20:28,366 --> 01:20:30,117 Then we got Ludwig. 1242 01:20:31,077 --> 01:20:34,080 Ludwig has opened up more people than anybody. 1243 01:20:34,789 --> 01:20:37,834 Of course, you know, they were all dead. 1244 01:20:39,669 --> 01:20:41,754 So, you see, you can do it. 1245 01:20:41,921 --> 01:20:43,422 We can do it. 1246 01:20:44,382 --> 01:20:45,925 For Stephanie. 1247 01:20:48,094 --> 01:20:50,638 Or, you know, we could go home and eat. 1248 01:20:51,180 --> 01:20:53,391 Nice chatting with you again. 1249 01:20:57,478 --> 01:20:59,272 Do you believe in me? 1250 01:21:00,648 --> 01:21:02,984 You're kind of a pecker-head... 1251 01:21:05,695 --> 01:21:07,655 but I believe in those. 1252 01:21:08,072 --> 01:21:09,740 Your attention, please. 1253 01:21:09,824 --> 01:21:13,160 Dr prang will not be . performing the surgery today. 1254 01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:14,829 He went meshuga. 1255 01:21:17,164 --> 01:21:19,208 Let's go to work, doctors. 1256 01:21:30,928 --> 01:21:34,765 Ladies and gentlemen, there has been a change in the program. 1257 01:21:39,437 --> 01:21:44,150 The saxafragia mitosis operation will be performed by Dr. Simon August. 1258 01:21:47,320 --> 01:21:50,114 - Let's go. - No. Are you crazy? 1259 01:21:50,197 --> 01:21:52,825 This is a saxafragia mitosis operation. 1260 01:22:03,920 --> 01:22:05,129 All right, doctors. 1261 01:22:05,212 --> 01:22:08,591 We've got 20 minutes to find that saxafragioid nerve and reduce it. 1262 01:22:08,633 --> 01:22:11,135 - And she's off. - Yeah! 1263 01:22:12,219 --> 01:22:14,430 Then we're ready, gentlemen. 1264 01:22:14,847 --> 01:22:17,016 Scalpel. 1265 01:22:23,022 --> 01:22:26,108 Simon, show all your doctor friends how you cut. 1266 01:22:26,192 --> 01:22:28,235 You're a great surgeon, Dad. 1267 01:22:28,277 --> 01:22:30,613 And you're a great surgeon, too, my boy. 1268 01:22:30,655 --> 01:22:33,491 Simon's gonna be a great surgeon, too, Dad. 1269 01:22:33,908 --> 01:22:35,660 Do you hear voices? 1270 01:22:43,084 --> 01:22:45,628 I guess I can function in this room. 1271 01:22:50,257 --> 01:22:52,635 Well, you did it. A perfect cut. 1272 01:22:52,969 --> 01:22:55,513 Blind shithouse luck. But you did it. 1273 01:22:57,348 --> 01:22:58,516 Heart? 1274 01:23:02,937 --> 01:23:04,146 Normal. 1275 01:23:05,856 --> 01:23:07,608 - What's this? - I don't know. 1276 01:23:07,650 --> 01:23:09,735 - Then take it back. - Sorry. 1277 01:23:10,194 --> 01:23:12,989 - How's my time? - T-minus 33 and counting. 1278 01:23:13,072 --> 01:23:14,573 Hang on, Stephanie. 1279 01:23:14,615 --> 01:23:15,783 Easy. 1280 01:23:15,825 --> 01:23:16,867 Damn! 1281 01:23:16,951 --> 01:23:18,452 - What's the matter? - What's wrong? 1282 01:23:18,494 --> 01:23:20,955 The obstruction. I can't reach it. 1283 01:23:20,997 --> 01:23:23,332 My damn hands are just too big. 1284 01:23:23,374 --> 01:23:27,086 If only one of the nurses were here. Their hands are small. 1285 01:23:27,628 --> 01:23:29,755 They can reach into tiny... 1286 01:23:30,673 --> 01:23:32,550 - Chamberlain. - Thurman, help me. 1287 01:23:32,633 --> 01:23:36,637 Substitution. Dr. Chamberlain in for Dr. August. 1288 01:23:37,513 --> 01:23:40,558 Do you see it? Right there. That's it. 1289 01:23:43,144 --> 01:23:46,188 Dr. Ludwig, I'm nearing the saxafragioid nerve. 1290 01:23:46,272 --> 01:23:47,398 So? 1291 01:23:48,107 --> 01:23:49,984 - Heart? - Normal. 1292 01:23:50,651 --> 01:23:51,986 Sprockett. 1293 01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:57,700 This strike ain't for me. I'm a nurse, and I go where I'm needed. 1294 01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:01,203 It looks like I'm needed here. 1295 01:24:01,287 --> 01:24:04,540 - I admire your dedication. - It ain't all dedication. 1296 01:24:04,582 --> 01:24:07,501 My little brother Elmer, he was an air traffic controller. 1297 01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:10,713 - Really? - Yeah, he was incredible. 1298 01:24:10,796 --> 01:24:13,883 We're trying to save a life here, remember? 1299 01:24:15,509 --> 01:24:16,802 Suction. 1300 01:24:21,891 --> 01:24:23,392 Get it off. 1301 01:24:29,273 --> 01:24:31,317 Suction, Doctor, please. 1302 01:24:32,693 --> 01:24:34,779 Forget the suction. Thank you very much. 1303 01:24:34,862 --> 01:24:37,198 - Blood pressure? - It's dropping. 1304 01:24:37,239 --> 01:24:38,574 Sixty, fifty, here we go. 1305 01:24:38,616 --> 01:24:42,328 You got to stop now. If her erzemine level drops to 20, we're gonna lose her. 1306 01:24:42,369 --> 01:24:44,872 - Will you shut up, Kurtzman? - Quiet! 1307 01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:46,707 Careful. 1308 01:24:47,124 --> 01:24:49,251 Taffler's serum. Five cc's. 1309 01:24:49,460 --> 01:24:52,463 Erzemine 30. Injecting Taffler's. 1310 01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:54,965 I see it. Hold her steady. 1311 01:24:55,549 --> 01:24:58,385 - Renostomy level dropping. - Give me a count. 1312 01:24:58,886 --> 01:25:01,222 - 40 over 13. - Respiration weak. 1313 01:25:01,263 --> 01:25:02,723 - Heart? - Irregular. 1314 01:25:02,765 --> 01:25:03,933 I don't like it. 1315 01:25:03,974 --> 01:25:06,685 You don't have to like it. Just do as you're told. 1316 01:25:06,727 --> 01:25:09,355 - We can't stop now. - It's all right. He's an asshole. 1317 01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:11,732 - Blood pressure falling. - Almost there. 1318 01:25:11,774 --> 01:25:13,609 - Twenty-five. - Got it. 1319 01:25:14,276 --> 01:25:16,946 Please hurry, Doctor. Don't taste it. 1320 01:25:17,029 --> 01:25:20,324 We've got five minutes to reduce it and put it back. 1321 01:25:22,076 --> 01:25:23,536 Now we wait. 1322 01:25:26,831 --> 01:25:30,251 How about those Lakers the other night? Did you see what they did... 1323 01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:33,504 - Come on. - I'm trying to focus here. 1324 01:25:37,216 --> 01:25:38,509 Found it! 1325 01:25:39,093 --> 01:25:40,970 Reduced two millimeters. 1326 01:25:45,349 --> 01:25:47,935 - All right, reopen the scarpoid valve. - It won't open. 1327 01:25:47,977 --> 01:25:49,854 Cut it! I need that scarpoid fluid. 1328 01:25:49,937 --> 01:25:52,273 - Scissors. - I've lost the renostomy level. 1329 01:25:52,314 --> 01:25:53,607 It's in. 1330 01:25:53,649 --> 01:25:55,401 - My end's attached. - Mine, too. 1331 01:25:55,442 --> 01:25:56,735 - Ditto. - Okay. 1332 01:25:56,777 --> 01:25:58,821 I've lost the heartbeat. 1333 01:26:00,948 --> 01:26:02,449 The body's rejecting it. 1334 01:26:02,491 --> 01:26:04,451 - Adrenalin! - She's not responding. 1335 01:26:04,493 --> 01:26:07,538 Pickering fluid, 50 cc's. Noserin 20 cc's. 1336 01:26:08,455 --> 01:26:10,040 - Oxygen. - Oxygen. 1337 01:26:13,294 --> 01:26:16,213 I'm afraid she's sliding into home plate, Simon. 1338 01:26:16,297 --> 01:26:19,008 Noserin. Gattling frappé. 1339 01:26:23,554 --> 01:26:25,723 Come on, Stephanie, hold on. 1340 01:26:37,151 --> 01:26:38,611 Sorry, Simon. 1341 01:26:46,285 --> 01:26:48,037 It's just an operation. 1342 01:27:07,890 --> 01:27:09,975 All right, let's close her up. 1343 01:27:10,017 --> 01:27:11,685 - Suture. - Suture. 1344 01:27:12,436 --> 01:27:14,355 - Wait a minute, her eyes are open. - What? 1345 01:27:14,396 --> 01:27:17,399 - She's looking around the room. - Look, she's breathing! 1346 01:27:17,483 --> 01:27:18,984 Look, she's smiling. 1347 01:27:19,026 --> 01:27:21,362 Somebody kicked the plug out of the wall. 1348 01:27:21,403 --> 01:27:23,197 Who pulled the plug? 1349 01:27:31,330 --> 01:27:33,374 The machines are working. 1350 01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:36,752 - I've got a heartbeat. - I've got an oxygen level. 1351 01:27:36,794 --> 01:27:38,963 - I've got a live patient. - Oxygen. 1352 01:27:39,046 --> 01:27:41,715 - Are we going to save her? - Yes! 1353 01:27:42,258 --> 01:27:45,594 Yes, the strike is over. Nurses report back on duty. 1354 01:27:45,636 --> 01:27:49,723 We've just received temporary funding from the Chubb Insurance Group. 1355 01:27:49,765 --> 01:27:51,892 Doctors, over here, please. 1356 01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:53,978 Welcome, new interns, to City Hospital. 1357 01:27:54,061 --> 01:27:56,855 - Happy New Year! - Doctor, you're on duty. 1358 01:27:57,606 --> 01:27:59,108 Meet me after. 1359 01:28:02,569 --> 01:28:04,530 - Stephanie? - Who? 1360 01:28:07,908 --> 01:28:11,245 Would you please all make yourselves known to Dr. Jacobs because... 1361 01:28:16,875 --> 01:28:18,252 No, not now. 1362 01:28:21,297 --> 01:28:23,799 Simon! We've got to find Simon to tell him... 1363 01:28:23,841 --> 01:28:27,553 before he marries some bimbo on the rebound. Where'd he go? 1364 01:28:27,886 --> 01:28:30,347 Listen, I really admire your work. 1365 01:28:31,473 --> 01:28:33,183 And your eyebrows. 1366 01:28:33,434 --> 01:28:36,270 You're staying here at City Hospital, aren't you? 1367 01:28:36,312 --> 01:28:38,480 Yes, I am, Nurse Sprockett. 1368 01:28:40,607 --> 01:28:43,444 - Norine. - Walter. 1369 01:28:48,949 --> 01:28:50,284 Simon! 1370 01:28:50,367 --> 01:28:53,662 Take her to the smart ass. She wants to talk to him. 1371 01:29:00,294 --> 01:29:04,173 Keep the love-light glowing 1372 01:29:04,423 --> 01:29:09,470 in your eyes so true 1373 01:29:11,388 --> 01:29:12,973 Over here, schmuck. 1374 01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:17,895 Let me call you sweetheart 1375 01:29:18,312 --> 01:29:22,358 I'm in love 1376 01:29:22,441 --> 01:29:26,904 with you 1377 01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:32,034 - You did it, boy! - I can't believe it. 1378 01:29:33,285 --> 01:29:35,204 Hi! 1379 01:29:36,413 --> 01:29:37,831 I love you. 1380 01:29:37,873 --> 01:29:41,418 You are the greatest surgeon in the world. 1381 01:29:44,254 --> 01:29:46,882 I think they want to be alone. 1382 01:29:48,801 --> 01:29:51,220 Thank you. Thank you all so... 1383 01:29:53,180 --> 01:29:54,807 Stephanie, wait! 1384 01:29:58,936 --> 01:30:00,479 What did I say? 1385 01:30:34,471 --> 01:30:35,597 Now. 1386 01:30:40,978 --> 01:30:42,729 Simon and Stephanie opened... 1387 01:30:42,771 --> 01:30:45,607 the Beverly Hills Clinic in Burnaby Mountain. 1388 01:30:45,691 --> 01:30:48,402 Stephanie had an operating room built in their house... 1389 01:30:48,444 --> 01:30:51,113 so now Simon has a place to function. 1390 01:30:55,242 --> 01:30:59,246 Dr. Milton Chamberlain is Head Pediatrician at Disneyland. 1391 01:31:08,881 --> 01:31:11,800 Dr. Bucky DeVol married Julie the prostitute... 1392 01:31:11,842 --> 01:31:14,678 and named their first son after Simon August. 1393 01:31:14,761 --> 01:31:17,097 They called the kid Pecker-Head. 1394 01:31:27,983 --> 01:31:32,446 Dr. Oliver Ludwig moved to Hawaii and became a professional wine taster. 1395 01:31:39,453 --> 01:31:41,497 Nurse Norine Sprockett... 1396 01:31:41,580 --> 01:31:45,584 was given the Mother Teresa Award as the best nurse in the city. 1397 01:31:49,213 --> 01:31:51,715 Phil Burns was paroled and is now... 1398 01:31:51,757 --> 01:31:55,177 the head pharmacist for the National Football League. 1399 01:31:56,678 --> 01:32:00,390 Dr. Walter Rist is trying to date both Nurse Sprockett... 1400 01:32:00,474 --> 01:32:02,851 and tennis player Renée Richards. 1401 01:32:11,610 --> 01:32:14,363 Dr. Prang retired from medicine and is currently... 1402 01:32:14,404 --> 01:32:17,032 the road manager for The Plasmatics. 1403 01:32:34,299 --> 01:32:36,677 Malamud was retired by the Syndicate... 1404 01:32:36,718 --> 01:32:39,930 and given a gold watch, which exploded in his face. 1405 01:32:41,848 --> 01:32:44,726 Angelo Bonafetti is now a professional musician... 1406 01:32:44,768 --> 01:32:48,063 playing with the Philadelphia Fucking Philharmonic. 1407 01:32:54,987 --> 01:32:59,908 Ladies and gentlemen, our entire staff wishes you a happy and healthy life... 1408 01:32:59,950 --> 01:33:03,870 and hopes you never ever have to stay in City Hospital. 102328

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