Original subtitles

Oh, yeah, you love eating that ketchup.

You just keep eating that all day long until you gonna die.

Oh, yeah.

Eat that ketchup nice and good.

Oh, yeah. Close-up.

[Dog lapping]

[Laughs]

Look at that dog.

[Grunting] Oh, yeah! Ketchup!

Soon.

What is this place, and who am I?

I don't remember my name.

All I remember is that I don't know my name

and that I can't remember if I do know my...

um, uh...

I have the strange feeling

that I've forgotten all of this before.

I forget if I remember that these doors have always been here.

I tried the blue one.

[Knock! Knock!]

Excuse me, miss.

I seem to have lost my way.

Could you point me in the right direction?

Well, shoot, stranger.

My pointin' days are long gone,

what with these prosthetic limbs and all.

What the hell?!

Who transformed your form,

messed with your temple,

altered your altar, modied your body?

Why, Dr. Bruce blessed me with my new hands.

He does all sorts of surgeries,

but he specializes in hand jobs.

Prior to this, I was just a misfit, a nobody.

Well, being a nubby nobody

is better than being a stubby somebody.

I'm very grateful for these hands,

but they're preventing me from getting silly-old Whiskers

down from that tree.

The reason I was put on this earth was to help freaks

with weird hands like you.

Now, stand back whilst I rescue your pet.

Hmm, there's nothing I can do

besides let nature take its course.

I know... I'll use nature to rescue your pet.

Nothing's more natural than...

[echoing] Fire!

[Lighter sparks]

Oh, no, my dog!

[Crying] What are you doin'?!

Stand back, man.

It isn't right to mess with nature.

Ooh, and I'm coming to, palming some big smoking beave.

Need to dip my meat into something saucy.

Dog down, catch up.

Sausage milk.

[Growls]

Don't get dumped, get pumped!

[Creak!]

Eat sausage!

My presentation is about meerkats.

Meerkats are carnivores.

Meerkats are from France.

[Jingling]

Meerkats have lots of friends, BFFs.

Meerkats have been around for 300 years.

Sausage milk.

Meerkats wet their bed, but that's normal.

[Meerkat chittering]

Sausage milk.

Eat sausage.

And that's why the meerkat

is the greatest cat in the world.

[Groans]

Ketchup!

I don't feel myself today.

That means someone else is feeling me.

[Skipping] Ooh! Self feel nice.

Ooh! Self.

Self doesn't exist.

With an "h," it becomes h-self.

I'll just place that thought on the h-shelf under ceremony.

[Robot voice] Frittata.

[Dog lapping]

Is self a delusion brought on by the auto-erotic asphyxiations

of the obdurate soul keeper?

If I don't eat, I'm gonna die.

Then I will spill out the seeds of my bone,

and you can eat on those.

Then you will be the bonee, and I will be your bone... er!

I am a fifth-class self-inverter.

Behold as the self emerges into h-self.

[Distorted talking]

You can eat on those, eat on those.

Maybe I can give you something in return.

You mean like your cooties, spaz?

I just wanted to share the food.

And all you managed to share was your 'tude.

[Skipping] 'Tude, 'tude, 'tude, 'tude, 'tude, 'tude,

'tude, 'tude, 'tude, 'tude, 'tude, 'tude, 'tude, 'tude.

Self.

[Electronic music plays]

Self.

Self.

D When you slaughter pig,

it dreams of you d

d lts babies cry d

Sooey!

Sigh.

This guy needs to get laid.

[Loon crying]

[Door creaks]

Hi, um, can you hear me in there?

Can barely see you, make you out.

It's darker than the inside of a cow out there.

[Breathing heavily]

Do you know who S... Joe Smith is?

He met with the dynamic duo of angels... ln the forest.

[Woman screams]

[Coughs]

Oh!

[Howls]

And a stone that rolls gathers no moss

into the buxom bosoms...

Oh, yeah. Eat that ketchup nice and good.

[Distorted talking]

[Growling]

You love eating that ketchup.

From stone to rock to mud to stone.

[Honk!]

XAVIER: This is a bald-faced case

of déja "shave my va-jay-jay" vu, vu!

[Distorted talking]

[Honking]

Keep eating.

Keep eating, girl.

Eat that ketchup nice and good.

You love eating that ketchup.

Keep eating. Keep eating.

[Chomp!]

Oh, yeah.

Eat that ketchup nice and good.

Well, hiss, hiss, you in there.

Art born from the womb of necessity,

or art thou the mirror held beneath the crotch of life?

You pervert!

Let's see what we got.

[Rewinding]

Aah!

That's pretty tight.

[Telephone ringing]

Hello.

[Groans]

Hey, Chaka.

Long time, no blow.

[Honks]

Yeah, I'd love to hung out this weekend,

but I'm going auntique shopping with my wife.

[Honks]

Maybe next time.

Okay, I'll see you at church.

[Dial tone]

[Dinging]

Oy! Oy!

Oy! Oy! Oy!

Life.

XAVIER: Why?

[Boing!]

Cut it out, jackass!

[Laughter]

[Children laughing]

XAVIER: Hee-haw!

[Child laughs]

[Distorted] I've been running for so long.

It's as if the background was repeating.

I might as well be on a treadmill... Of life.

[Laughter]

I'm hungry.

And I might have crapped the donkey suit.

[Laughter]

What is this crap?

Food.

[Cre-e-e-e-eak!]

[Chomp!]

To be self-consumed,

sometimes one must consume one's self.

[Slurping]

If I could do it all over again,

I would do exactly the same thing.

[Applause]

Eat that ketchup nice and good.

D it's a long, hard dusty road d

d You'll journey on through a world you've never known d

d Only time will tell you if or not if your life has been in vain d

d Each morning sunrise brings question and query d

d Each sunset brings you cattle d

d Always you're searching for d

d what, you're not even sure d

d Melting away like an icicle on fi-i-i-i-i-i-re d

d Oh d

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