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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,960 Soon. 2 00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:06,301 [Echoing] What is this place, and who am I? 3 00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,705 I don't remember my name. 4 00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:10,403 All I remember is that I don't know my name 5 00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:14,073 and that I can't remember if I do know my, um, 6 00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:16,515 uh, I have the strange feeling 7 00:00:16,585 --> 00:00:20,077 that I've forgotten all of this before. 8 00:00:20,155 --> 00:00:22,055 I forget if I remember that these doors 9 00:00:22,124 --> 00:00:25,116 have always been here. 10 00:00:25,194 --> 00:00:26,252 I tried the blue one. 11 00:00:26,329 --> 00:00:27,728 Hurry! Take the gun, man! 12 00:00:27,797 --> 00:00:29,492 Huh? What is this for? 13 00:00:29,566 --> 00:00:31,693 Come on! Did you forget everything?! 14 00:00:31,769 --> 00:00:32,758 We went over this! 15 00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:35,327 You're in charge of security for the mayor! 16 00:00:35,406 --> 00:00:37,567 No compadre your speeky-spaniol. 17 00:00:37,641 --> 00:00:38,539 English? 18 00:00:38,609 --> 00:00:40,270 This town elected a donkey mayor 19 00:00:40,345 --> 00:00:42,643 as a scathing indictment of our jackass political system, 20 00:00:42,714 --> 00:00:44,443 but the powers that be want him dead! 21 00:00:44,516 --> 00:00:46,507 'Member? You've got to protect him. 22 00:00:46,585 --> 00:00:48,576 [Gunshot, donkey brays] 23 00:00:48,654 --> 00:00:49,780 It was him! 24 00:00:49,855 --> 00:00:50,753 I saw him do it! 25 00:00:50,823 --> 00:00:52,085 Why else would he have a gun?! 26 00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:53,022 Hee-huh? 27 00:00:53,092 --> 00:00:53,956 [Gavel bangs] 28 00:00:54,026 --> 00:00:55,687 I swear, I didn't shoot the mayor. 29 00:00:55,761 --> 00:00:59,026 You are not on trial for shooting the mayor. 30 00:00:59,099 --> 00:01:02,091 You are on trial for being on trial. 31 00:01:02,169 --> 00:01:04,194 But I'm innocent. 32 00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:05,932 By proclaiming your innocence, 33 00:01:06,006 --> 00:01:08,873 it proves you're on trial. 34 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:10,968 What say you, jury? 35 00:01:11,045 --> 00:01:13,275 [All babbling] 36 00:01:13,348 --> 00:01:16,806 It's a jury of your mental peers. 37 00:01:16,885 --> 00:01:18,546 What sort of law is this? 38 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:22,216 Laws? Laws are illegal here! 39 00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,383 Guilty! 40 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:29,364 I sentence thee to three glimpses into your own soul. 41 00:01:29,432 --> 00:01:30,660 [Scoffs] 42 00:01:30,734 --> 00:01:34,067 I could do that with my third eye tied behind my back. 43 00:01:34,138 --> 00:01:37,665 Very well. Seven glimpses! 44 00:01:37,742 --> 00:01:39,266 No-o-o-o! 45 00:01:39,343 --> 00:01:41,208 And as your new mayor, 46 00:01:41,279 --> 00:01:43,179 I declare the concerns of this township 47 00:01:43,248 --> 00:01:45,978 shall no longer be donkey concerns 48 00:01:46,051 --> 00:01:48,679 but shall be human concerns. 49 00:01:48,754 --> 00:01:51,154 And I vow to protect the children of this town 50 00:01:51,224 --> 00:01:53,920 from our local human-baby rapist... 51 00:01:53,993 --> 00:01:55,153 and a gas-tax holiday! 52 00:01:55,228 --> 00:01:56,217 [Crowd cheering] 53 00:01:56,295 --> 00:01:57,262 Thank you! 54 00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,560 [Applause] 55 00:01:59,633 --> 00:02:01,658 XAVIER: I haven't forgotten you. 56 00:02:01,735 --> 00:02:05,102 I know what your butt did to that boy! 57 00:02:05,172 --> 00:02:07,640 This must mean I saved a life. 58 00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:09,301 I'm some sort of life savior? 59 00:02:09,377 --> 00:02:11,072 Wonder where's my reward. 60 00:02:11,146 --> 00:02:14,912 Bingo doodle attainment of more enlightened level of being! 61 00:02:14,983 --> 00:02:18,384 I have graduated to this advanced realm. 62 00:02:18,454 --> 00:02:20,217 It feels so right. 63 00:02:20,289 --> 00:02:23,417 I've never felt more... oh! 64 00:02:23,492 --> 00:02:24,516 [Chomps] 65 00:02:24,593 --> 00:02:26,891 What is all this? A test? 66 00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:28,362 Reveal your intentions! 67 00:02:28,432 --> 00:02:31,424 Show either your face or your body... ooh! 68 00:02:31,501 --> 00:02:32,399 Soon. 69 00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:33,902 I don't have to stand here 70 00:02:33,971 --> 00:02:35,666 and take lip from the lipless. 71 00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,071 I'm leaving, like a tree makes. 72 00:02:37,141 --> 00:02:37,971 [Grunts] 73 00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:39,600 You can consume my dust. 74 00:02:39,677 --> 00:02:43,477 Don't let my anus mudcake your door on my way out. 75 00:02:43,549 --> 00:02:45,881 You can flush me fromst the toilette of your mind, 76 00:02:45,951 --> 00:02:47,748 because I'm pissed-tory. 77 00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:49,981 You can kiss and lick and caress 78 00:02:50,055 --> 00:02:53,183 and coddle and swallow my sweet ass goodbye. 79 00:02:53,259 --> 00:02:54,385 And take your time. 80 00:02:54,461 --> 00:02:55,689 I'll be here all day. 81 00:02:55,762 --> 00:02:57,787 Fine. I'll rub it myself. 82 00:02:57,864 --> 00:03:00,492 [Man speaking backwards] 83 00:03:00,568 --> 00:03:01,466 I'm too late. 84 00:03:01,535 --> 00:03:04,265 If I'd abetted this poor meat in time, 85 00:03:04,338 --> 00:03:07,705 he'd still be a delicious man. 86 00:03:07,775 --> 00:03:08,639 Healed?! 87 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,109 In this odd dominion, 88 00:03:10,178 --> 00:03:13,773 driving backwards over people can mend them. 89 00:03:13,849 --> 00:03:14,975 People, hurry! 90 00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:16,381 Get in the way! 91 00:03:16,451 --> 00:03:18,749 I'm committing vehicular man-burger helper, 92 00:03:18,821 --> 00:03:21,449 and it tastes like pure liquid relief. 93 00:03:21,524 --> 00:03:23,389 Best part is I'm helping the Earth, 94 00:03:23,459 --> 00:03:25,017 getting negative-30 miles to the gallon. 95 00:03:25,094 --> 00:03:25,924 [Siren wailing] 96 00:03:25,995 --> 00:03:29,089 Oh, the cops want to horn in on my heal deal. 97 00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:31,964 I'll let 'em co-bask in my reflected glory. 98 00:03:32,035 --> 00:03:36,335 Huh, I seem to have bruises and lumps on my face. 99 00:03:36,407 --> 00:03:38,602 Four words, men. Thanks. 100 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,577 Count 'em 'n' weep. 101 00:03:41,646 --> 00:03:44,672 Ooh, free shrimp. 102 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,718 I don't feel so good. 103 00:03:46,786 --> 00:03:48,344 My tummy hurts. 104 00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:49,853 I've got to hit the head. 105 00:03:49,922 --> 00:03:50,752 Is it through there? 106 00:03:50,823 --> 00:03:51,721 This isn't it. 107 00:03:51,791 --> 00:03:52,655 [Sniffs] 108 00:03:52,726 --> 00:03:55,194 Smells like a real creep been in this room. 109 00:03:55,262 --> 00:03:56,490 Is it through here? 110 00:03:56,563 --> 00:03:57,996 I'll just go in here. 111 00:03:58,064 --> 00:03:58,894 Hey! 112 00:03:58,965 --> 00:03:59,829 Hey! 113 00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:00,798 Animals out there. 114 00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:03,665 So this place is all random, huh? 115 00:04:03,738 --> 00:04:05,672 Okay, I'm gonna go in... 116 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:06,672 that door. 117 00:04:06,741 --> 00:04:08,732 [Echoing] out-randomed. 118 00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:11,278 Huh? A land of primitive simpletons. 119 00:04:11,346 --> 00:04:16,306 I must be here to tutor these dark dim-dongs. 120 00:04:16,385 --> 00:04:17,716 Attention, people. 121 00:04:17,786 --> 00:04:20,880 I shall shine my rays o' enlightenment unto you, 122 00:04:20,957 --> 00:04:23,482 brighter than the big glowing orange thing... 123 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,255 the, uh, whatchama... 124 00:04:25,328 --> 00:04:28,058 you know, the big, dumb hot ball in the sky. 125 00:04:28,132 --> 00:04:29,963 This freak insult sun god. 126 00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:31,763 We must sacrifice a virgin. 127 00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,633 If these be my last words, 128 00:04:33,704 --> 00:04:37,299 then I'd like to leave this world with one thought... 129 00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:38,842 Me no wanna die, mommy! 130 00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:39,774 [Wailing] 131 00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:43,212 We now sacrifice this demon to the great sun god, 132 00:04:43,281 --> 00:04:44,942 Quetzecoitelakalaka... 133 00:04:45,017 --> 00:04:47,485 [gagging] 134 00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:49,953 The great sun god's name cannot be spoken, 135 00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:54,049 for it is pronounced Quetzeco... [gagging] 136 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,755 Uh, let's just cut to sacrifice. 137 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,694 Ugh! 138 00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,961 Please get my mommy so I can tell on you! 139 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,502 You can't shuffle off this mortal-goyle. 140 00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:06,768 Guess my death wasn't in the tarot three cards, monty. 141 00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:07,671 Zuma! 142 00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:12,475 This sac-ri-farce is no way to appease the dei-dees. 143 00:05:12,548 --> 00:05:15,346 Let's give this sadis-dick sun god 144 00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:19,410 a taste of his own meta-meta sin, man. 145 00:05:19,488 --> 00:05:20,921 Go summon him. 146 00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:21,889 [Fanfare] 147 00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:23,482 Let's see how you like it. 148 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:27,690 [Panting] 149 00:05:27,764 --> 00:05:30,699 You people have angered the gods! 150 00:05:30,768 --> 00:05:31,632 Why?! 151 00:05:31,702 --> 00:05:33,192 But I have an idea. 152 00:05:33,271 --> 00:05:34,465 We must sacrifice someone 153 00:05:34,538 --> 00:05:39,271 to cuckold and pacify this Mexi-global war, mang. 154 00:05:41,747 --> 00:05:42,577 [Chomps] 155 00:05:42,648 --> 00:05:45,014 XAVIER: I can't be a hypo-grist. 156 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,880 I'll commit sacri-cide. 157 00:05:46,953 --> 00:05:48,045 [Dramatic music plays] 158 00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:52,251 I believe I said "good day," weird room. 159 00:05:52,325 --> 00:05:54,088 [Light music plays] 160 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:59,598 [Birds chirping] 161 00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:01,658 [Squishing] 162 00:06:01,735 --> 00:06:03,134 I knew if I bode my time, 163 00:06:03,203 --> 00:06:07,537 I'd eventually win my way with you, love. 164 00:06:07,609 --> 00:06:10,601 But I loved him. 165 00:06:10,679 --> 00:06:11,737 [Dramatic music plays] 166 00:06:11,813 --> 00:06:13,178 If this is your idea of a joke, 167 00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,479 I'd like to be subjected to a tragedy. 168 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:16,381 [Wind whistling] 169 00:06:16,452 --> 00:06:18,317 Why are you doing this?! 170 00:06:18,387 --> 00:06:20,480 Do you believe in God? 171 00:06:20,556 --> 00:06:21,386 Yes. 172 00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:23,221 Do you believe in God? 173 00:06:23,293 --> 00:06:24,191 [Crying] Yes. 174 00:06:24,261 --> 00:06:25,387 [Sheep bleat] 175 00:06:25,462 --> 00:06:27,430 Do you believe in God? 176 00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:29,556 That's a complicated question. 177 00:06:29,633 --> 00:06:31,498 It depends on what you mean by "God." 178 00:06:31,569 --> 00:06:33,002 You see, I... - Yes or no! 179 00:06:33,071 --> 00:06:35,403 It helps no one to be reductive. 180 00:06:35,473 --> 00:06:38,601 I believe that that we are here implies to some degree 181 00:06:38,677 --> 00:06:41,305 that there are forces larger than us. 182 00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:44,110 Now, we can get into the semanticalities of... 183 00:06:44,183 --> 00:06:45,047 Yes or no! 184 00:06:45,117 --> 00:06:47,585 The very notion of belief itself can be 185 00:06:47,654 --> 00:06:50,214 rhetorically whittled to the bare nub of its meaning. 186 00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:52,349 I'd like to talk to you a lot more about this. 187 00:06:52,425 --> 00:06:54,518 Would you be interested in reading some of my literature? 188 00:06:54,594 --> 00:06:55,424 No! 189 00:06:55,495 --> 00:06:56,587 [Gunshot] 190 00:06:56,664 --> 00:06:57,528 [Beep] 191 00:06:57,598 --> 00:06:59,225 So, it was me all along. 192 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,393 Now I understand what's happening in here. 193 00:07:01,469 --> 00:07:04,495 I just need to go through the black door. 194 00:07:04,572 --> 00:07:06,233 God has put me through his reamer, 195 00:07:06,308 --> 00:07:10,404 but I've come out the other side with his calling in my ear. 196 00:07:10,479 --> 00:07:13,107 [Crying] This is how starving people cry. 197 00:07:13,181 --> 00:07:14,443 A crying lady! 198 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,984 I'll help you. I'm a feminist. 199 00:07:16,052 --> 00:07:17,485 I'll make sexism my bitch. 200 00:07:17,553 --> 00:07:18,747 Sexism will be like... 201 00:07:18,821 --> 00:07:21,790 [high-pitched voice] "Ooh, Xavier, you're so strong. 202 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,418 Kissy, kissy. You can hit me. I like it... 203 00:07:24,495 --> 00:07:25,757 [normal voice] Rough"! 204 00:07:25,829 --> 00:07:27,797 Honey, I found a corn nibl... huh? 205 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:30,026 Have you seen my ex-wife? She was just here. 206 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,330 I have some bad news and a snack for you. 207 00:07:32,404 --> 00:07:34,668 How can I break this easy? 208 00:07:34,739 --> 00:07:36,934 Do I smell food? 209 00:07:37,008 --> 00:07:38,908 Mother! Sure! Help yourself! 210 00:07:38,977 --> 00:07:40,410 You're so kind. 211 00:07:40,479 --> 00:07:44,643 For the first time ever, I want to give you a hug, son. 212 00:07:44,717 --> 00:07:46,981 Go on, get your hug. 213 00:07:47,053 --> 00:07:48,020 Free grinder. 214 00:07:48,087 --> 00:07:50,988 Hey, don't just tell him to take the hug. 215 00:07:51,058 --> 00:07:53,652 Tell him to kick her in the face, too. 216 00:07:53,727 --> 00:07:56,890 Don't just tell him to kick her in the face! 217 00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:59,727 Tell him to kick Larry in the face as well! 218 00:07:59,801 --> 00:08:01,098 Okay. I... wait. 219 00:08:01,169 --> 00:08:02,329 Who's Larry? 220 00:08:02,403 --> 00:08:04,667 Larry's the first demon. 221 00:08:04,739 --> 00:08:05,603 Really? 222 00:08:05,673 --> 00:08:07,573 I thought his name was Gus. 223 00:08:07,643 --> 00:08:10,111 Gus? What kind of name is Gus? 224 00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:12,147 Well, what's your name? 225 00:08:12,214 --> 00:08:14,239 My name is Goldurn B. Taintnone... 226 00:08:14,316 --> 00:08:18,980 as in 'tain't none of your goldurn beeswax! The 3rd. 227 00:08:19,055 --> 00:08:20,647 Will you guys quit dickering? 228 00:08:20,723 --> 00:08:23,157 [Lisping] Let us focus on getting this grinder. 229 00:08:23,226 --> 00:08:24,659 Hey, you know what, everyone? 230 00:08:24,728 --> 00:08:26,628 I actually have a grinder he can have. 231 00:08:26,697 --> 00:08:28,892 Here. Don't spend it all in one place. 232 00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,264 Wha? Don't bend it all in some space. 233 00:08:31,335 --> 00:08:33,701 Wha? Don't spit in Oliver's face. 234 00:08:33,772 --> 00:08:36,104 Wha? Bones lend Italians your waste. 235 00:08:36,174 --> 00:08:38,404 Wha? Telephone game's a disgrace. 236 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,105 Wha? Chicka-ba goom wap mace. 237 00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:43,978 Wha? Don't spend it all in one place. 238 00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:45,779 What? How did that get there? 239 00:08:45,852 --> 00:08:47,752 Huh. I'd love to hug you, mother. 240 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,812 [Whispering] Right into my plan. 241 00:08:50,891 --> 00:08:55,385 D Slippytown Village Chili Slide Park, yeah d 242 00:08:55,462 --> 00:08:57,657 Flume through the loop-de-legume con carne 243 00:08:57,731 --> 00:09:01,064 and chill in our scalding three-alarm kiddie pool! 244 00:09:01,136 --> 00:09:05,129 I bean slidin' down the beef pipe all day! 245 00:09:05,206 --> 00:09:07,731 You'll jalapeno pants. 246 00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:09,539 I've got nothing to add to that. 247 00:09:09,612 --> 00:09:10,442 [Wind whistling] 248 00:09:10,513 --> 00:09:13,710 [Insects buzzing] 249 00:09:13,782 --> 00:09:14,976 That didn't work. 250 00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:19,714 I'm not moving until you tell me what this is all about! 251 00:09:30,501 --> 00:09:31,399 [Clanking] 252 00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:35,599 Sir, do you know how to make all of this stop? 253 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,572 Hurry! Take the gun! 254 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:44,276 You've got to protect the mayor! 255 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:46,250 [Gunshot] 256 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:52,056 Only one door left to try. 257 00:09:52,126 --> 00:09:56,358 Its always the last door holds thy deepest reward. 258 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,092 I don't want to play with dollies, Mommy. 259 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,691 I want to ramble the world to help folks. 260 00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:03,135 [Crying] 261 00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:04,763 What's wrong, little girl? 262 00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:07,364 I can't go to heaven 'cause I'm gay. 263 00:10:07,442 --> 00:10:09,205 I'll smuggle you to heaven 264 00:10:09,278 --> 00:10:11,678 via the under-brown male-road. 265 00:10:11,747 --> 00:10:14,011 Once I shove you up this trojan arse, 266 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:15,846 you'll be the first gay homo in heaven. 267 00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:16,748 Ugh! 268 00:10:16,819 --> 00:10:20,482 The Blacky Robinson Uncle-Tom Crusoe-Mo! 269 00:10:20,557 --> 00:10:21,387 Yahoo! Yay! 270 00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:22,425 [Alarm blaring] 271 00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:23,516 Intruder alert! 272 00:10:23,594 --> 00:10:25,960 There has been a breach in the system! 273 00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:29,193 Heaven will self-destruct in 10 seconds 274 00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:32,668 if the intruder does not reveal themselves. 275 00:10:32,737 --> 00:10:34,261 10... 9... 276 00:10:34,339 --> 00:10:35,772 Okay, it's me. 277 00:10:35,841 --> 00:10:39,709 You have sacrificed yourself for the good of the whole. 278 00:10:39,778 --> 00:10:41,405 You are the new messiah. 279 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,540 What will be your first act as messiah? 280 00:10:44,618 --> 00:10:47,280 My first act is to drop the act! 281 00:10:47,354 --> 00:10:49,015 Now let me get some white women 282 00:10:49,089 --> 00:10:50,989 for the first black man in heaven! 283 00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:52,046 I give up. 284 00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:54,252 I lay my queen down and sore-end her. 285 00:10:54,328 --> 00:10:55,158 I concede. 286 00:10:55,229 --> 00:10:57,459 Try opening all the doors at once. 287 00:10:57,531 --> 00:11:00,989 [Echoing] Yes. Overload the system! 288 00:11:02,904 --> 00:11:03,734 - We... - are... 289 00:11:03,805 --> 00:11:04,635 - all... - just... 290 00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,570 - play... - ers... 291 00:11:05,641 --> 00:11:06,471 - in... - the... 292 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,405 - game... - of... 293 00:11:07,476 --> 00:11:08,340 life! 294 00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:10,037 [Thud] 295 00:11:10,113 --> 00:11:11,444 Congratulations. 296 00:11:11,514 --> 00:11:14,005 You may now begin to play the game. 297 00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:16,711 XAVIER: [Echoing] Of life. 298 00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:19,778 [Applause] 299 00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:24,378 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 20485

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