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1
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,960
Soon.
2
00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:06,301
[Echoing] What is this place,
and who am I?
3
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,705
I don't remember my name.
4
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:10,403
All I remember is
that I don't know my name
5
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:14,073
and that I can't remember
if I do know my, um,
6
00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:16,515
uh, I have the strange feeling
7
00:00:16,585 --> 00:00:20,077
that I've forgotten
all of this before.
8
00:00:20,155 --> 00:00:22,055
I forget if I remember
that these doors
9
00:00:22,124 --> 00:00:25,116
have always been here.
10
00:00:25,194 --> 00:00:26,252
I tried the blue one.
11
00:00:26,329 --> 00:00:27,728
Hurry! Take the gun, man!
12
00:00:27,797 --> 00:00:29,492
Huh?
What is this for?
13
00:00:29,566 --> 00:00:31,693
Come on!
Did you forget everything?!
14
00:00:31,769 --> 00:00:32,758
We went over this!
15
00:00:32,836 --> 00:00:35,327
You're in charge of security
for the mayor!
16
00:00:35,406 --> 00:00:37,567
No compadre your
speeky-spaniol.
17
00:00:37,641 --> 00:00:38,539
English?
18
00:00:38,609 --> 00:00:40,270
This town elected
a donkey mayor
19
00:00:40,345 --> 00:00:42,643
as a scathing indictment
of our jackass political system,
20
00:00:42,714 --> 00:00:44,443
but the powers that be
want him dead!
21
00:00:44,516 --> 00:00:46,507
'Member?
You've got to protect him.
22
00:00:46,585 --> 00:00:48,576
[Gunshot, donkey brays]
23
00:00:48,654 --> 00:00:49,780
It was him!
24
00:00:49,855 --> 00:00:50,753
I saw him do it!
25
00:00:50,823 --> 00:00:52,085
Why else would he have a gun?!
26
00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:53,022
Hee-huh?
27
00:00:53,092 --> 00:00:53,956
[Gavel bangs]
28
00:00:54,026 --> 00:00:55,687
I swear,
I didn't shoot the mayor.
29
00:00:55,761 --> 00:00:59,026
You are not on trial for
shooting the mayor.
30
00:00:59,099 --> 00:01:02,091
You are on trial
for being on trial.
31
00:01:02,169 --> 00:01:04,194
But I'm innocent.
32
00:01:04,271 --> 00:01:05,932
By proclaiming your innocence,
33
00:01:06,006 --> 00:01:08,873
it proves you're on trial.
34
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:10,968
What say you, jury?
35
00:01:11,045 --> 00:01:13,275
[All babbling]
36
00:01:13,348 --> 00:01:16,806
It's a jury of your
mental peers.
37
00:01:16,885 --> 00:01:18,546
What sort of law is this?
38
00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:22,216
Laws? Laws are illegal here!
39
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:23,383
Guilty!
40
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:29,364
I sentence thee to three
glimpses into your own soul.
41
00:01:29,432 --> 00:01:30,660
[Scoffs]
42
00:01:30,734 --> 00:01:34,067
I could do that with my third eye tied
behind my back.
43
00:01:34,138 --> 00:01:37,665
Very well. Seven glimpses!
44
00:01:37,742 --> 00:01:39,266
No-o-o-o!
45
00:01:39,343 --> 00:01:41,208
And as your new mayor,
46
00:01:41,279 --> 00:01:43,179
I declare the concerns of this
township
47
00:01:43,248 --> 00:01:45,978
shall no longer be
donkey concerns
48
00:01:46,051 --> 00:01:48,679
but shall be
human concerns.
49
00:01:48,754 --> 00:01:51,154
And I vow to protect
the children of this town
50
00:01:51,224 --> 00:01:53,920
from our
local human-baby rapist...
51
00:01:53,993 --> 00:01:55,153
and a gas-tax holiday!
52
00:01:55,228 --> 00:01:56,217
[Crowd cheering]
53
00:01:56,295 --> 00:01:57,262
Thank you!
54
00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,560
[Applause]
55
00:01:59,633 --> 00:02:01,658
XAVIER:
I haven't forgotten you.
56
00:02:01,735 --> 00:02:05,102
I know what your butt did
to that boy!
57
00:02:05,172 --> 00:02:07,640
This must mean I saved a life.
58
00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:09,301
I'm some sort of life savior?
59
00:02:09,377 --> 00:02:11,072
Wonder where's my reward.
60
00:02:11,146 --> 00:02:14,912
Bingo doodle attainment of more
enlightened level of being!
61
00:02:14,983 --> 00:02:18,384
I have graduated to this
advanced realm.
62
00:02:18,454 --> 00:02:20,217
It feels so right.
63
00:02:20,289 --> 00:02:23,417
I've never felt more... oh!
64
00:02:23,492 --> 00:02:24,516
[Chomps]
65
00:02:24,593 --> 00:02:26,891
What is all this?
A test?
66
00:02:26,963 --> 00:02:28,362
Reveal your intentions!
67
00:02:28,432 --> 00:02:31,424
Show either your face
or your body... ooh!
68
00:02:31,501 --> 00:02:32,399
Soon.
69
00:02:32,469 --> 00:02:33,902
I don't have to stand here
70
00:02:33,971 --> 00:02:35,666
and take lip from the lipless.
71
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,071
I'm leaving, like a tree makes.
72
00:02:37,141 --> 00:02:37,971
[Grunts]
73
00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:39,600
You can consume my dust.
74
00:02:39,677 --> 00:02:43,477
Don't let my anus mudcake
your door on my way out.
75
00:02:43,549 --> 00:02:45,881
You can flush me fromst
the toilette of your mind,
76
00:02:45,951 --> 00:02:47,748
because
I'm pissed-tory.
77
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:49,981
You can kiss and lick and caress
78
00:02:50,055 --> 00:02:53,183
and coddle and swallow
my sweet ass goodbye.
79
00:02:53,259 --> 00:02:54,385
And take your time.
80
00:02:54,461 --> 00:02:55,689
I'll be here all day.
81
00:02:55,762 --> 00:02:57,787
Fine. I'll rub it myself.
82
00:02:57,864 --> 00:03:00,492
[Man speaking backwards]
83
00:03:00,568 --> 00:03:01,466
I'm too late.
84
00:03:01,535 --> 00:03:04,265
If I'd abetted this poor meat
in time,
85
00:03:04,338 --> 00:03:07,705
he'd still be a
delicious man.
86
00:03:07,775 --> 00:03:08,639
Healed?!
87
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,109
In this odd dominion,
88
00:03:10,178 --> 00:03:13,773
driving backwards over people
can mend them.
89
00:03:13,849 --> 00:03:14,975
People, hurry!
90
00:03:15,050 --> 00:03:16,381
Get in the way!
91
00:03:16,451 --> 00:03:18,749
I'm committing vehicular
man-burger helper,
92
00:03:18,821 --> 00:03:21,449
and it tastes
like pure liquid relief.
93
00:03:21,524 --> 00:03:23,389
Best part is
I'm helping the Earth,
94
00:03:23,459 --> 00:03:25,017
getting negative-30 miles
to the gallon.
95
00:03:25,094 --> 00:03:25,924
[Siren wailing]
96
00:03:25,995 --> 00:03:29,089
Oh, the cops want to horn in
on my heal deal.
97
00:03:29,166 --> 00:03:31,964
I'll let 'em co-bask
in my reflected glory.
98
00:03:32,035 --> 00:03:36,335
Huh, I seem to have bruises
and lumps on my face.
99
00:03:36,407 --> 00:03:38,602
Four words, men.
Thanks.
100
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:41,577
Count 'em 'n' weep.
101
00:03:41,646 --> 00:03:44,672
Ooh, free shrimp.
102
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,718
I don't feel so good.
103
00:03:46,786 --> 00:03:48,344
My tummy hurts.
104
00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:49,853
I've got to hit the head.
105
00:03:49,922 --> 00:03:50,752
Is it through there?
106
00:03:50,823 --> 00:03:51,721
This isn't it.
107
00:03:51,791 --> 00:03:52,655
[Sniffs]
108
00:03:52,726 --> 00:03:55,194
Smells like a real creep been
in this room.
109
00:03:55,262 --> 00:03:56,490
Is it through here?
110
00:03:56,563 --> 00:03:57,996
I'll just go in here.
111
00:03:58,064 --> 00:03:58,894
Hey!
112
00:03:58,965 --> 00:03:59,829
Hey!
113
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:00,798
Animals out there.
114
00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:03,665
So this place is all random,
huh?
115
00:04:03,738 --> 00:04:05,672
Okay, I'm gonna go in...
116
00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:06,672
that door.
117
00:04:06,741 --> 00:04:08,732
[Echoing] out-randomed.
118
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:11,278
Huh?
A land of primitive simpletons.
119
00:04:11,346 --> 00:04:16,306
I must be here to tutor these
dark dim-dongs.
120
00:04:16,385 --> 00:04:17,716
Attention, people.
121
00:04:17,786 --> 00:04:20,880
I shall shine my rays o'
enlightenment unto you,
122
00:04:20,957 --> 00:04:23,482
brighter than the big
glowing orange thing...
123
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,255
the, uh, whatchama...
124
00:04:25,328 --> 00:04:28,058
you know, the big, dumb hot ball
in the sky.
125
00:04:28,132 --> 00:04:29,963
This freak insult sun god.
126
00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:31,763
We must sacrifice a virgin.
127
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,633
If these be my last words,
128
00:04:33,704 --> 00:04:37,299
then I'd like to leave
this world with one thought...
129
00:04:37,375 --> 00:04:38,842
Me no wanna die, mommy!
130
00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:39,774
[Wailing]
131
00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:43,212
We now sacrifice this demon
to the great sun god,
132
00:04:43,281 --> 00:04:44,942
Quetzecoitelakalaka...
133
00:04:45,017 --> 00:04:47,485
[gagging]
134
00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:49,953
The great sun god's name
cannot be spoken,
135
00:04:50,022 --> 00:04:54,049
for it is
pronounced Quetzeco... [gagging]
136
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,755
Uh, let's just cut to
sacrifice.
137
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:57,694
Ugh!
138
00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,961
Please get my mommy
so I can tell on you!
139
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,502
You can't shuffle off this
mortal-goyle.
140
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:06,768
Guess my death wasn't in the
tarot three cards, monty.
141
00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:07,671
Zuma!
142
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:12,475
This sac-ri-farce is no way to
appease the dei-dees.
143
00:05:12,548 --> 00:05:15,346
Let's give this sadis-dick
sun god
144
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:19,410
a taste of his own
meta-meta sin, man.
145
00:05:19,488 --> 00:05:20,921
Go summon him.
146
00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:21,889
[Fanfare]
147
00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:23,482
Let's see how you like it.
148
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:27,690
[Panting]
149
00:05:27,764 --> 00:05:30,699
You people have
angered the gods!
150
00:05:30,768 --> 00:05:31,632
Why?!
151
00:05:31,702 --> 00:05:33,192
But I have an idea.
152
00:05:33,271 --> 00:05:34,465
We must sacrifice someone
153
00:05:34,538 --> 00:05:39,271
to cuckold and pacify this
Mexi-global war, mang.
154
00:05:41,747 --> 00:05:42,577
[Chomps]
155
00:05:42,648 --> 00:05:45,014
XAVIER: I can't be
a hypo-grist.
156
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,880
I'll commit sacri-cide.
157
00:05:46,953 --> 00:05:48,045
[Dramatic music plays]
158
00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:52,251
I believe I said "good day,"
weird room.
159
00:05:52,325 --> 00:05:54,088
[Light music plays]
160
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:59,598
[Birds chirping]
161
00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:01,658
[Squishing]
162
00:06:01,735 --> 00:06:03,134
I knew if I bode my time,
163
00:06:03,203 --> 00:06:07,537
I'd eventually win my way
with you, love.
164
00:06:07,609 --> 00:06:10,601
But I loved him.
165
00:06:10,679 --> 00:06:11,737
[Dramatic music plays]
166
00:06:11,813 --> 00:06:13,178
If this is your idea of a joke,
167
00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,479
I'd like to be
subjected to a tragedy.
168
00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:16,381
[Wind whistling]
169
00:06:16,452 --> 00:06:18,317
Why are you doing this?!
170
00:06:18,387 --> 00:06:20,480
Do you believe in God?
171
00:06:20,556 --> 00:06:21,386
Yes.
172
00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:23,221
Do you believe in God?
173
00:06:23,293 --> 00:06:24,191
[Crying]
Yes.
174
00:06:24,261 --> 00:06:25,387
[Sheep bleat]
175
00:06:25,462 --> 00:06:27,430
Do you believe in God?
176
00:06:27,497 --> 00:06:29,556
That's a complicated
question.
177
00:06:29,633 --> 00:06:31,498
It depends on what you mean
by "God."
178
00:06:31,569 --> 00:06:33,002
You see, I...
- Yes or no!
179
00:06:33,071 --> 00:06:35,403
It helps no one to be
reductive.
180
00:06:35,473 --> 00:06:38,601
I believe that that we are here
implies to some degree
181
00:06:38,677 --> 00:06:41,305
that there are forces
larger than us.
182
00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:44,110
Now, we can get into the
semanticalities of...
183
00:06:44,183 --> 00:06:45,047
Yes or no!
184
00:06:45,117 --> 00:06:47,585
The very notion of
belief itself can be
185
00:06:47,654 --> 00:06:50,214
rhetorically whittled to the
bare nub of its meaning.
186
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:52,349
I'd like to talk to you a lot
more about this.
187
00:06:52,425 --> 00:06:54,518
Would you be interested in
reading some of my literature?
188
00:06:54,594 --> 00:06:55,424
No!
189
00:06:55,495 --> 00:06:56,587
[Gunshot]
190
00:06:56,664 --> 00:06:57,528
[Beep]
191
00:06:57,598 --> 00:06:59,225
So, it was me all along.
192
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,393
Now I understand what's
happening in here.
193
00:07:01,469 --> 00:07:04,495
I just need to go
through the black door.
194
00:07:04,572 --> 00:07:06,233
God has put me
through his reamer,
195
00:07:06,308 --> 00:07:10,404
but I've come out the other side
with his calling in my ear.
196
00:07:10,479 --> 00:07:13,107
[Crying] This is how
starving people cry.
197
00:07:13,181 --> 00:07:14,443
A crying lady!
198
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,984
I'll help you. I'm a feminist.
199
00:07:16,052 --> 00:07:17,485
I'll make sexism my bitch.
200
00:07:17,553 --> 00:07:18,747
Sexism will be like...
201
00:07:18,821 --> 00:07:21,790
[high-pitched voice]
"Ooh, Xavier, you're so strong.
202
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,418
Kissy, kissy. You can hit me.
I like it...
203
00:07:24,495 --> 00:07:25,757
[normal voice]
Rough"!
204
00:07:25,829 --> 00:07:27,797
Honey, I found a corn
nibl... huh?
205
00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:30,026
Have you seen my ex-wife?
She was just here.
206
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,330
I have some bad news
and a snack for you.
207
00:07:32,404 --> 00:07:34,668
How can I break this easy?
208
00:07:34,739 --> 00:07:36,934
Do I smell food?
209
00:07:37,008 --> 00:07:38,908
Mother!
Sure! Help yourself!
210
00:07:38,977 --> 00:07:40,410
You're so kind.
211
00:07:40,479 --> 00:07:44,643
For the first time ever, I want
to give you a hug, son.
212
00:07:44,717 --> 00:07:46,981
Go on, get your hug.
213
00:07:47,053 --> 00:07:48,020
Free grinder.
214
00:07:48,087 --> 00:07:50,988
Hey, don't just tell him
to take the hug.
215
00:07:51,058 --> 00:07:53,652
Tell him to kick her
in the face, too.
216
00:07:53,727 --> 00:07:56,890
Don't just tell him to kick
her in the face!
217
00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:59,727
Tell him to kick Larry
in the face as well!
218
00:07:59,801 --> 00:08:01,098
Okay. I... wait.
219
00:08:01,169 --> 00:08:02,329
Who's Larry?
220
00:08:02,403 --> 00:08:04,667
Larry's the first demon.
221
00:08:04,739 --> 00:08:05,603
Really?
222
00:08:05,673 --> 00:08:07,573
I thought his name was Gus.
223
00:08:07,643 --> 00:08:10,111
Gus?
What kind of name is Gus?
224
00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:12,147
Well, what's your name?
225
00:08:12,214 --> 00:08:14,239
My name is
Goldurn B. Taintnone...
226
00:08:14,316 --> 00:08:18,980
as in 'tain't none of your
goldurn beeswax! The 3rd.
227
00:08:19,055 --> 00:08:20,647
Will you guys quit dickering?
228
00:08:20,723 --> 00:08:23,157
[Lisping] Let us focus on
getting this grinder.
229
00:08:23,226 --> 00:08:24,659
Hey, you know what, everyone?
230
00:08:24,728 --> 00:08:26,628
I actually have a grinder
he can have.
231
00:08:26,697 --> 00:08:28,892
Here.
Don't spend it all in one place.
232
00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:31,264
Wha?
Don't bend it all in some space.
233
00:08:31,335 --> 00:08:33,701
Wha?
Don't spit in Oliver's face.
234
00:08:33,772 --> 00:08:36,104
Wha?
Bones lend Italians your waste.
235
00:08:36,174 --> 00:08:38,404
Wha?
Telephone game's a disgrace.
236
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,105
Wha?
Chicka-ba goom wap mace.
237
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:43,978
Wha?
Don't spend it all in one place.
238
00:08:44,050 --> 00:08:45,779
What?
How did that get there?
239
00:08:45,852 --> 00:08:47,752
Huh.
I'd love to hug you, mother.
240
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,812
[Whispering]
Right into my plan.
241
00:08:50,891 --> 00:08:55,385
D Slippytown Village
Chili Slide Park, yeah d
242
00:08:55,462 --> 00:08:57,657
Flume through the
loop-de-legume con carne
243
00:08:57,731 --> 00:09:01,064
and chill in our scalding
three-alarm kiddie pool!
244
00:09:01,136 --> 00:09:05,129
I bean slidin' down
the beef pipe all day!
245
00:09:05,206 --> 00:09:07,731
You'll jalapeno pants.
246
00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:09,539
I've got nothing to add to that.
247
00:09:09,612 --> 00:09:10,442
[Wind whistling]
248
00:09:10,513 --> 00:09:13,710
[Insects buzzing]
249
00:09:13,782 --> 00:09:14,976
That didn't work.
250
00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:19,714
I'm not moving until you tell me
what this is all about!
251
00:09:30,501 --> 00:09:31,399
[Clanking]
252
00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:35,599
Sir, do you know how to make
all of this stop?
253
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,572
Hurry! Take the gun!
254
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:44,276
You've got to protect the mayor!
255
00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:46,250
[Gunshot]
256
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:52,056
Only one door left to try.
257
00:09:52,126 --> 00:09:56,358
Its always the last door holds
thy deepest reward.
258
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,092
I don't want to play with
dollies, Mommy.
259
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,691
I want to ramble the world
to help folks.
260
00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:03,135
[Crying]
261
00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:04,763
What's wrong, little girl?
262
00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:07,364
I can't go to heaven 'cause
I'm gay.
263
00:10:07,442 --> 00:10:09,205
I'll smuggle you to heaven
264
00:10:09,278 --> 00:10:11,678
via the under-brown
male-road.
265
00:10:11,747 --> 00:10:14,011
Once I shove you up this
trojan arse,
266
00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:15,846
you'll be the first
gay homo in heaven.
267
00:10:15,918 --> 00:10:16,748
Ugh!
268
00:10:16,819 --> 00:10:20,482
The Blacky Robinson
Uncle-Tom Crusoe-Mo!
269
00:10:20,557 --> 00:10:21,387
Yahoo! Yay!
270
00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:22,425
[Alarm blaring]
271
00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:23,516
Intruder alert!
272
00:10:23,594 --> 00:10:25,960
There has been a breach
in the system!
273
00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:29,193
Heaven will self-destruct in
10 seconds
274
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:32,668
if the intruder does
not reveal themselves.
275
00:10:32,737 --> 00:10:34,261
10... 9...
276
00:10:34,339 --> 00:10:35,772
Okay, it's me.
277
00:10:35,841 --> 00:10:39,709
You have sacrificed yourself
for the good of the whole.
278
00:10:39,778 --> 00:10:41,405
You are the new messiah.
279
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,540
What will be your first act
as messiah?
280
00:10:44,618 --> 00:10:47,280
My first act is
to drop the act!
281
00:10:47,354 --> 00:10:49,015
Now let me get some white women
282
00:10:49,089 --> 00:10:50,989
for the first black man
in heaven!
283
00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:52,046
I give up.
284
00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:54,252
I lay my queen down
and sore-end her.
285
00:10:54,328 --> 00:10:55,158
I concede.
286
00:10:55,229 --> 00:10:57,459
Try opening
all the doors at once.
287
00:10:57,531 --> 00:11:00,989
[Echoing]
Yes. Overload the system!
288
00:11:02,904 --> 00:11:03,734
- We...
- are...
289
00:11:03,805 --> 00:11:04,635
- all...
- just...
290
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,570
- play...
- ers...
291
00:11:05,641 --> 00:11:06,471
- in...
- the...
292
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,405
- game...
- of...
293
00:11:07,476 --> 00:11:08,340
life!
294
00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:10,037
[Thud]
295
00:11:10,113 --> 00:11:11,444
Congratulations.
296
00:11:11,514 --> 00:11:14,005
You may now begin
to play the game.
297
00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:16,711
XAVIER:
[Echoing] Of life.
298
00:11:16,786 --> 00:11:19,778
[Applause]
299
00:11:19,828 --> 00:11:24,378
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