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00:00:00,744 --> 00:00:02,143
Every once in a
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00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:04,236
world, the
big cheese lays a
3
00:00:04,313 --> 00:00:06,144
grand one
on this planet.
4
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,910
I discovered
I was that
5
00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:10,213
globular gift
as a wee lad when
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00:00:10,284 --> 00:00:11,979
I was endowed
with a cosmic
7
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:13,918
visit from the
enlightened one
8
00:00:13,987 --> 00:00:15,511
who revealed
this meaty
9
00:00:15,588 --> 00:00:17,021
pendulous
thing to me.
10
00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:19,058
But I can't
remember how it went
11
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:20,057
down.
12
00:00:20,126 --> 00:00:21,957
So, for the first
time since I
13
00:00:22,028 --> 00:00:23,996
was a teen
[mumbles] years ago,
14
00:00:24,062 --> 00:00:25,859
I've chosen
to return to the
15
00:00:25,929 --> 00:00:28,056
location of my
childhood home.
16
00:00:28,132 --> 00:00:30,566
I suppose it's
changed in some ways.
17
00:00:30,666 --> 00:00:33,533
I still memberize
my first day
18
00:00:33,603 --> 00:00:35,434
in this old house.
19
00:00:35,505 --> 00:00:36,563
Mama!
I found you!
20
00:00:36,638 --> 00:00:38,071
You must have
been worried sick
21
00:00:38,141 --> 00:00:39,574
when you
realized you left me
22
00:00:39,641 --> 00:00:40,471
back in Canada.
23
00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:42,874
Honey!
He found us again!
24
00:00:42,944 --> 00:00:44,343
Come on in...
25
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:45,709
demon child.
26
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,838
It warms
the loins of
27
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:49,006
my heart groin.
28
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,606
This is the
crucible of
29
00:00:50,682 --> 00:00:52,843
nobility's guardian,
the cradle
30
00:00:52,918 --> 00:00:54,852
of humanity's
holiest hero.
31
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,182
Come on, guys,
let me hear
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00:00:56,254 --> 00:00:57,516
ya hoot for
the belly fruit.
33
00:00:57,589 --> 00:00:58,556
Celebrate the lactate.
34
00:00:58,623 --> 00:00:59,817
A woman's
never hotter when
35
00:00:59,890 --> 00:01:01,187
she's jigglin'
that baby bump,
36
00:01:01,259 --> 00:01:03,159
plump with life
corkin' up her lady pipes.
37
00:01:03,226 --> 00:01:04,557
Big Papa Dick's
on the mike, the
38
00:01:04,627 --> 00:01:06,026
honky-tonk don't
stop, and these
39
00:01:06,096 --> 00:01:07,461
bulgin' babes
are ready to drop.
40
00:01:07,530 --> 00:01:08,690
Best be tippin'
for two, 'cause
41
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:09,856
they be strippin'
for two, and
42
00:01:09,932 --> 00:01:11,126
every lap dance
is a three-way.
43
00:01:11,199 --> 00:01:12,826
That tummy squirrel
tryin' to get a nut?
44
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:14,095
Beer nuts
available at the bar.
45
00:01:14,169 --> 00:01:15,397
If you like our
hot things, try
46
00:01:15,469 --> 00:01:16,299
our hot wings.
47
00:01:16,371 --> 00:01:18,236
At a penny a bite,
it's got to go right.
48
00:01:18,305 --> 00:01:20,170
Turtling Tara's
in her third trimester.
49
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,434
And try
mustard on our soft
50
00:01:21,507 --> 00:01:22,872
pretzels,
available at the bar.
51
00:01:22,942 --> 00:01:24,102
That's where my
52
00:01:24,176 --> 00:01:25,643
kitchen table was.
53
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:26,734
Thanks, mommy.
54
00:01:26,812 --> 00:01:28,040
I made you
another drawing.
55
00:01:28,113 --> 00:01:28,943
Aah!
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00:01:29,013 --> 00:01:30,037
Demon child.
57
00:01:30,114 --> 00:01:32,048
I used to
draw sweet
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00:01:32,116 --> 00:01:34,084
cuddlecrumbs
to retreat into my
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00:01:34,151 --> 00:01:35,846
happy wittle world.
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00:01:35,919 --> 00:01:37,716
Peggy pregasaurus...
she's
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00:01:37,787 --> 00:01:39,118
812 months pregnant.
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00:01:39,188 --> 00:01:41,088
Get a lap dance
before her baby
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00:01:41,156 --> 00:01:42,748
dies of old
age in utero.
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00:01:42,825 --> 00:01:44,122
Her sugar walls
are packed to
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00:01:44,192 --> 00:01:45,557
the gills like
sexy sardines in
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00:01:45,626 --> 00:01:46,888
the hot brine
of father time.
67
00:01:46,961 --> 00:01:48,553
Fish sticks
available at the bar.
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00:01:48,629 --> 00:01:49,960
That's
where I took
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00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:51,827
my
bathsssssssssss.
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00:01:51,932 --> 00:01:52,762
Oh, mommy!
71
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,425
Something hit
me in the head!
72
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,229
You're just
imagining things.
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00:01:56,302 --> 00:01:57,530
We got the
Siamese twins
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00:01:57,603 --> 00:01:58,968
conjoined at the
womb, pregnant
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00:01:59,038 --> 00:02:00,164
with Siamese
triplets conjoined
76
00:02:00,238 --> 00:02:01,068
at the boom.
77
00:02:01,139 --> 00:02:02,401
And see these
lumpy lovelies
78
00:02:02,474 --> 00:02:03,736
throw their
luscious mornin'
79
00:02:03,808 --> 00:02:05,036
thickness on
the mechanical
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00:02:05,109 --> 00:02:06,406
bull, the
mechanical man, and
81
00:02:06,477 --> 00:02:07,375
the mechanical cat.
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00:02:07,444 --> 00:02:09,708
That paws is a
real mother bucker.
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00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:11,372
That's where my
84
00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:12,675
mechanical cat was.
85
00:02:12,747 --> 00:02:14,408
Xavier!
Get off the cat!
86
00:02:14,483 --> 00:02:15,677
These chicks are cravin'
87
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,012
pickles,
so get your peck, or
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00:02:17,085 --> 00:02:18,347
off a pile of
our hot pickled
89
00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:19,546
wing-thing
pickle poppers,
90
00:02:19,620 --> 00:02:20,587
available at the bar.
91
00:02:20,653 --> 00:02:23,053
And my bedroom
was over there.
92
00:02:23,124 --> 00:02:24,648
Get away from
my dollhouse!
93
00:02:24,724 --> 00:02:26,692
You're stepping
all over my dollies!
94
00:02:26,759 --> 00:02:27,589
Freak!
95
00:02:27,659 --> 00:02:29,422
We's tryin' to
get our fight on!
96
00:02:29,495 --> 00:02:30,757
Let's set aside our
97
00:02:30,829 --> 00:02:32,524
difference and
pound this chump
98
00:02:32,597 --> 00:02:33,655
for bein' difference.
99
00:02:33,731 --> 00:02:34,561
Take that!
100
00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:35,691
Taste the pain!
101
00:02:35,765 --> 00:02:36,754
You all right.
102
00:02:36,833 --> 00:02:38,300
I forgive you
for stickin' it in
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00:02:38,369 --> 00:02:39,199
my wife.
104
00:02:39,269 --> 00:02:40,896
Shoot, I only
done it 'cause
105
00:02:40,971 --> 00:02:42,632
I jealous of the
love you share.
106
00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:43,502
It's beautiful.
107
00:02:43,572 --> 00:02:44,402
Come here.
108
00:02:44,473 --> 00:02:45,770
Could you
be the one?
109
00:02:45,841 --> 00:02:47,206
What's wrong, my child?
110
00:02:47,775 --> 00:02:49,242
You feel like a man...
ooh...
111
00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:50,277
who needs my help.
112
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,504
Come here for a sec.
113
00:02:51,578 --> 00:02:52,476
It's my baby!
114
00:02:52,546 --> 00:02:53,535
The baby's mine!
115
00:02:53,614 --> 00:02:56,276
I preggoed her!
116
00:02:56,349 --> 00:02:57,680
Ooh!
Peep show!
117
00:02:57,751 --> 00:02:59,082
Shoot, what say
we share the baby?
118
00:02:59,552 --> 00:03:00,780
Let's all get
a beer and talk
119
00:03:00,853 --> 00:03:02,150
about how we're
gonna break it
120
00:03:02,220 --> 00:03:03,482
to our unborneded
that he got
121
00:03:03,555 --> 00:03:04,715
eight daddies
who love each
122
00:03:04,789 --> 00:03:06,188
other very much.
123
00:03:06,258 --> 00:03:07,589
Every once
in a world,
124
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:09,091
someone comes
along who's so
125
00:03:09,159 --> 00:03:10,558
infuriatin',
no one can be
126
00:03:10,628 --> 00:03:12,220
violent to anythin'
else around
127
00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:13,194
him...
a cooler.
128
00:03:13,263 --> 00:03:14,525
You got the gift,
freak.
129
00:03:14,596 --> 00:03:15,858
If you stick
around and be my
130
00:03:15,932 --> 00:03:17,797
bouncer, you'd
be doin' me a fine flavor.
131
00:03:17,866 --> 00:03:19,197
[Amplified]
We got 31 flavors
132
00:03:19,268 --> 00:03:20,200
available at the bar.
133
00:03:20,269 --> 00:03:21,634
I'll be your violence
134
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,795
absorber, your
cosmic sponge of
135
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,998
aggression,
sucking off all the
136
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:28,165
machismo you
can sploot my way.
137
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:29,833
I'll let these
kit shickers kit
138
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,400
the shick out
of me and then
139
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:33,104
let them shove
the cack of their
140
00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:34,441
human shick
in my face.
141
00:03:34,512 --> 00:03:35,877
I'll let them
all beat the
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00:03:35,948 --> 00:03:38,143
bejesus out of
me and then rub
143
00:03:38,216 --> 00:03:39,945
the bejeez
into my hair.
144
00:03:40,017 --> 00:03:41,917
I'll take your licks
and bounce for you.
145
00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:43,350
So you don't
want to do it?
146
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:44,409
No! I'm in!
147
00:03:44,488 --> 00:03:45,750
[Amplified]
We're gonna
148
00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:47,448
stay open, folks!
149
00:03:47,523 --> 00:03:48,888
[Cheers and applause]
150
00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:50,425
I'm so glad
this place ain't
151
00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:51,391
gonna shut down.
152
00:03:51,459 --> 00:03:53,086
Now my dream
might come true.
153
00:03:53,161 --> 00:03:54,753
I always knew
there's nothin'
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00:03:54,829 --> 00:03:56,353
more beautiful
than a woman
155
00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:57,454
plump with child.
156
00:03:57,531 --> 00:03:59,055
I want to get
a operation to
157
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:00,430
become big
mama dick and
158
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,592
experience that joy.
159
00:04:01,668 --> 00:04:03,192
I saved my sperm,
and once I
160
00:04:03,269 --> 00:04:04,930
impregnate my
woman-self, I'll
161
00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:06,732
give birth to baby
papa dick and
162
00:04:06,805 --> 00:04:08,500
give him a sex-
change operation
163
00:04:08,573 --> 00:04:10,200
to become baby
mama dick so he
164
00:04:10,274 --> 00:04:11,468
can give
birth to me.
165
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,009
It's a simple
dream, and I do
166
00:04:13,077 --> 00:04:14,567
believe America...
That's what
167
00:04:14,644 --> 00:04:15,474
he/she's about.
168
00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:17,012
Glad I could be of
169
00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:17,943
[sniffs]
Cervix?
170
00:04:18,014 --> 00:04:19,208
Why don't
you go hit the
171
00:04:19,281 --> 00:04:20,111
break womb?
172
00:04:20,182 --> 00:04:21,672
I thinkin'
about gettin' my
173
00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:22,717
baby bump pierced.
174
00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:24,377
Hear it heightens
somethin'
175
00:04:24,452 --> 00:04:27,080
called a orgasm,
in the baby.
176
00:04:27,155 --> 00:04:28,645
Y'all hear
Shirelle got fired?
177
00:04:29,289 --> 00:04:31,519
Turns out she
wasn't really pregnant.
178
00:04:31,592 --> 00:04:33,082
It was one of
them phantom
179
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:34,957
pregnancies,
psychosomatic-like.
180
00:04:35,027 --> 00:04:36,392
She was so
sure she was
181
00:04:36,462 --> 00:04:38,020
pregger, she
swolled up with a
182
00:04:38,096 --> 00:04:38,926
phantom belly.
183
00:04:38,997 --> 00:04:40,555
I heard she
even gave birth to
184
00:04:40,632 --> 00:04:41,599
the phantom baby.
185
00:04:41,666 --> 00:04:43,133
They say her
phantom baby
186
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,065
still lurks among
these walls,
187
00:04:45,135 --> 00:04:46,932
angry its
mama got fired just
188
00:04:47,004 --> 00:04:48,403
'cause it don't exist.
189
00:04:48,471 --> 00:04:49,301
Whoa.
190
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:50,465
[Thumping]
191
00:04:50,539 --> 00:04:51,699
Uh-oh.
He's kicking.
192
00:04:51,773 --> 00:04:53,400
Ladies.
193
00:04:53,475 --> 00:04:54,999
That's where
mommy's bedroom
194
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,510
used to be.
195
00:04:56,577 --> 00:04:58,511
Aww, look at
my sweet mother...
196
00:04:58,579 --> 00:05:00,479
So peaceful
when she's sleeping.
197
00:05:00,548 --> 00:05:01,378
Mommy!
198
00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:02,915
I made you
another drawing!
199
00:05:02,983 --> 00:05:04,075
Monster child...
200
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:05,208
What's... happening?
201
00:05:05,285 --> 00:05:06,149
Monster child!
202
00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:07,185
It's scary,
mommy.
203
00:05:07,253 --> 00:05:09,380
Go on...
caress her face, boy.
204
00:05:09,455 --> 00:05:10,854
Stroke her tender,
succulent
205
00:05:10,923 --> 00:05:11,787
skin, you idiot!
206
00:05:11,857 --> 00:05:12,881
This is your chance!
207
00:05:12,957 --> 00:05:14,925
I wish I could
talk to my young self.
208
00:05:14,993 --> 00:05:16,483
Wait...
if I simply remember
209
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:17,993
that I did talk
to my young
210
00:05:18,061 --> 00:05:19,995
self, that means it will
have had happened.
211
00:05:20,063 --> 00:05:20,893
Hmm.
212
00:05:20,964 --> 00:05:22,454
I remember
that I appeared in
213
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,192
front of myself,
and I said,
214
00:05:24,267 --> 00:05:25,734
"go on... touch her,
touch her."
215
00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:27,200
[Gasps]
Who are you?!
216
00:05:27,269 --> 00:05:28,861
This may
be the last
217
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,461
time you get
to touch your
218
00:05:30,537 --> 00:05:32,232
mother, because
she's going to
219
00:05:32,306 --> 00:05:33,466
die!
220
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,167
She's obviously
being plagued by
221
00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:36,299
some sort
of demon.
222
00:05:36,376 --> 00:05:37,308
She's vulnerable.
223
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,572
So you have
to constantly be
224
00:05:38,645 --> 00:05:39,475
there with her.
225
00:05:39,545 --> 00:05:40,477
Smother your mother.
226
00:05:40,546 --> 00:05:42,411
Smommy our
mommy with perpetual
227
00:05:42,481 --> 00:05:44,244
protectionating
and never let
228
00:05:44,316 --> 00:05:45,908
her oot from
under the crab
229
00:05:45,984 --> 00:05:47,679
shell of your
munificent vice
230
00:05:47,752 --> 00:05:50,277
grip for even a
nano-ticond or a subtonk.
231
00:05:50,353 --> 00:05:51,615
But how
can I do that?
232
00:05:51,688 --> 00:05:52,518
I'm just a kid.
233
00:05:52,589 --> 00:05:54,056
Let's scram out of
234
00:05:54,123 --> 00:05:55,351
here, and
I'll show you.
235
00:05:55,424 --> 00:05:57,085
Guardianing
isn't here.
236
00:05:57,159 --> 00:05:58,751
It's up here
and here.
237
00:05:58,827 --> 00:06:00,852
You're just a
dull lump of clay,
238
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,828
and I must sculpt
and mold you
239
00:06:02,897 --> 00:06:05,331
into my homage...
the greatest
240
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,129
minder
known to man.
241
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,292
What are you
doing on the putt-putt?!
242
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,698
Let's get the
hell out of here!
243
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,864
Your mind and
body must be quick.
244
00:06:12,938 --> 00:06:14,701
Keep trying to
punch yourself.
245
00:06:14,773 --> 00:06:16,172
See how
quick I am?
246
00:06:16,241 --> 00:06:17,071
Oh!
247
00:06:17,142 --> 00:06:19,372
Didn't even
see me coming.
248
00:06:19,443 --> 00:06:21,468
This journey is
devoted towards
249
00:06:21,545 --> 00:06:23,376
unteaching you
to unlearn all
250
00:06:23,446 --> 00:06:24,276
you know.
251
00:06:24,347 --> 00:06:25,712
Rather, this
non-journey isn't
252
00:06:25,782 --> 00:06:27,044
revoted distowards
comegoing
253
00:06:27,116 --> 00:06:28,481
away, from,
to, in, out, over,
254
00:06:28,551 --> 00:06:30,018
under formembergetting.
Whoa!
255
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,450
What the hell
happened to you?
256
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,782
Hey!
Get out of my store!
257
00:06:32,854 --> 00:06:34,412
You have
to be so
258
00:06:34,489 --> 00:06:36,081
Zen, you can
make weak minds
259
00:06:36,156 --> 00:06:37,919
crumble at your
potent thoughts.
260
00:06:37,991 --> 00:06:39,618
How would
someone do that?
261
00:06:39,693 --> 00:06:41,422
You've
got the gift.
262
00:06:41,494 --> 00:06:43,018
Contemplate
existence!
263
00:06:43,096 --> 00:06:44,256
Ponder infinity!
264
00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:45,388
Ponder harder!
265
00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:46,692
I've seen
deeper repose on a
266
00:06:46,765 --> 00:06:47,595
dead donkey!
267
00:06:47,665 --> 00:06:49,189
I'm going to
work you till your
268
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:50,427
body is cut
like an ox.
269
00:06:50,501 --> 00:06:51,661
Gonna be
months of hard,
270
00:06:51,736 --> 00:06:53,135
grueling...
I'm getting tired
271
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,296
just thinking
about it.
272
00:06:54,371 --> 00:06:55,633
Tell you what...
I'll just
273
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:56,934
remember that
I put you through
274
00:06:57,007 --> 00:06:58,565
the wringer.
It hurts!
275
00:06:58,641 --> 00:06:59,767
Acupuncture.
276
00:06:59,842 --> 00:07:00,706
What happened?
277
00:07:00,776 --> 00:07:02,243
I stuck it in you,
278
00:07:02,311 --> 00:07:03,369
and you
became a man.
279
00:07:03,445 --> 00:07:05,037
So that's my
guardian animal?
280
00:07:05,113 --> 00:07:05,943
Yes.
281
00:07:06,014 --> 00:07:07,242
It has a
message for us.
282
00:07:07,315 --> 00:07:08,577
I will read
its entrails.
283
00:07:08,649 --> 00:07:10,241
According to
these entrails,
284
00:07:10,317 --> 00:07:11,978
this animal
died needlessly at
285
00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:13,815
the hands
of a dim goon.
286
00:07:13,886 --> 00:07:15,786
It's your job
to stop such
287
00:07:15,855 --> 00:07:16,787
injustices.
288
00:07:16,855 --> 00:07:18,846
The markings
of a warrior shall
289
00:07:18,924 --> 00:07:20,585
summon the
warrior whoop.
290
00:07:20,659 --> 00:07:21,751
D Tweet, tweet,
nigga, dot,
291
00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:23,317
hooty-hoo! D
292
00:07:23,394 --> 00:07:25,385
and now we buy
ice-cream cones.
293
00:07:25,463 --> 00:07:26,521
Of... deeper truth.
294
00:07:26,597 --> 00:07:27,427
Yeah.
295
00:07:27,497 --> 00:07:29,431
You must let go
of linear modes
296
00:07:29,499 --> 00:07:30,830
of rational thought.
297
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,891
Example...
this is your grinder,
298
00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:34,959
but I'm eating it.
299
00:07:35,036 --> 00:07:37,129
Could use
more rationalaise.
300
00:07:37,205 --> 00:07:38,934
Now I've got to
teach you to be deep.
301
00:07:39,006 --> 00:07:39,836
But how?
302
00:07:39,906 --> 00:07:40,736
How did I learn?
303
00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:41,638
Oh, yeah.
304
00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:43,300
I have a hazy
memory that this
305
00:07:43,377 --> 00:07:44,969
really creepy
guy came to me.
306
00:07:45,045 --> 00:07:47,013
[Creepy voice]
You're special!
307
00:07:47,079 --> 00:07:47,943
Ew!
308
00:07:48,013 --> 00:07:49,173
You're scaring me.
309
00:07:49,248 --> 00:07:51,375
I'm not supposed
to talk to strangers.
310
00:07:51,449 --> 00:07:53,917
I remember
when I was a kid.
311
00:07:53,985 --> 00:08:00,686
A really freaky
stranger came to me.
312
00:08:00,758 --> 00:08:02,020
I can't do this!
313
00:08:02,091 --> 00:08:03,080
It's too hard!
314
00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:04,649
Let me
show you how
315
00:08:04,726 --> 00:08:06,216
you will turn
out if you don't
316
00:08:06,294 --> 00:08:08,489
follow my teachings.
317
00:08:08,563 --> 00:08:09,757
[Gasps]
318
00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:11,321
I don't want
to be that guy.
319
00:08:11,399 --> 00:08:13,060
Okay, I'll do
whatever you say.
320
00:08:13,134 --> 00:08:14,328
Bingo, doodle,
321
00:08:14,401 --> 00:08:15,231
hooty-hoo!
322
00:08:15,302 --> 00:08:16,769
Now, which
way out of here?
323
00:08:16,836 --> 00:08:18,326
Uh? Huh.
Uh? Huh.
324
00:08:18,405 --> 00:08:19,872
Okay, I don't
want to end up
325
00:08:19,938 --> 00:08:20,768
like that guy.
326
00:08:20,839 --> 00:08:21,897
I'll do
what you say.
327
00:08:21,974 --> 00:08:24,033
Uh? Huh?
Uh...
328
00:08:24,108 --> 00:08:25,666
you've
absorbed all of my
329
00:08:25,743 --> 00:08:27,472
knowledge,
and thus you have
330
00:08:27,545 --> 00:08:28,569
earned my soul.
331
00:08:28,646 --> 00:08:30,011
Go on, boy...
Hop in!
332
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,980
You've put your
manhood in me.
333
00:08:32,516 --> 00:08:34,677
Fromst this
henceforth, my
334
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,650
vowulation
is towardst
335
00:08:36,719 --> 00:08:38,084
protectorize
mine mommy.
336
00:08:38,153 --> 00:08:39,620
Who are you
talking to?
337
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,348
This visitor...
Right here.
338
00:08:41,423 --> 00:08:42,515
You see someone?
339
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,955
Is this
place haunted?!
340
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,491
You bring
evil spirits, boy!
341
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:46,992
I need a...
I haven't had a
342
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,425
drink since the
night you were
343
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:49,324
conceived.
344
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:51,192
Go get me some
whiskey and some pills!
345
00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,595
Say "yes,"
then just
346
00:08:52,664 --> 00:08:54,359
give her apple
juice and sugar pills.
347
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:55,627
Protect her always.
348
00:08:55,700 --> 00:08:56,598
Yes, mama.
349
00:08:56,668 --> 00:08:57,692
Sweet nectar!
350
00:08:57,769 --> 00:08:58,895
Argh!
I hate you!
351
00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:00,665
I wish you
were never born!
352
00:09:00,738 --> 00:09:01,670
You scare me.
353
00:09:01,738 --> 00:09:03,228
Don't worry...
She's
354
00:09:03,307 --> 00:09:04,467
not really
intoxicated.
355
00:09:04,541 --> 00:09:05,633
It's all in
her mind.
356
00:09:05,708 --> 00:09:06,902
Will this
save mommy?
357
00:09:06,976 --> 00:09:08,967
I think it
worked out well.
358
00:09:09,044 --> 00:09:11,205
I remember
time went by.
359
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,009
Lady, get me
more of these
360
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,344
pills and whiskey,
and I'll suck...
361
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:16,508
you're addicted!
362
00:09:16,584 --> 00:09:18,108
I wish I
wasn't addicted.
363
00:09:18,185 --> 00:09:19,618
Go on...
break her
364
00:09:19,686 --> 00:09:21,176
the good news
about your decade
365
00:09:21,253 --> 00:09:23,016
of deception,
your bout of
366
00:09:23,088 --> 00:09:24,988
epocock and bull,
your wormhole
367
00:09:25,057 --> 00:09:25,887
whopper.
368
00:09:25,957 --> 00:09:27,584
Tell her
about your period!
369
00:09:27,659 --> 00:09:29,286
Mother,
you haven't taken
370
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,725
any
inebriants at all.
371
00:09:30,795 --> 00:09:32,160
I've been
feeding you apple
372
00:09:32,230 --> 00:09:34,289
juice and sugar
pills all these years.
373
00:09:34,364 --> 00:09:35,922
Aren't you proud
of me, mother?
374
00:09:35,999 --> 00:09:37,330
So it's all
in my head?
375
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,697
I don't know
what's real!
376
00:09:38,768 --> 00:09:39,962
I can't trust
anything!
377
00:09:40,035 --> 00:09:41,297
I'm losing
my mind!
378
00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:42,530
Tell her,
"Don't worry."
379
00:09:43,038 --> 00:09:43,970
It's all in her mind.
380
00:09:44,039 --> 00:09:45,165
Who are
you talking to?
381
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,105
I'm talking to
this child here.
382
00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:48,072
He's right here.
383
00:09:48,142 --> 00:09:49,632
He sees the
phantom child!
384
00:09:49,709 --> 00:09:50,971
The phantom
child has
385
00:09:51,045 --> 00:09:52,171
returned
to haunt us!
386
00:09:52,245 --> 00:09:53,872
[Indistinct shouting]
387
00:09:53,947 --> 00:09:55,938
The strip club
is hain-ed!
388
00:09:56,015 --> 00:09:58,210
Hey, Ned, this
place is haunted!
389
00:09:58,283 --> 00:09:59,181
Haunted?
390
00:09:59,251 --> 00:10:01,811
I said,
"This place is hain-ed!"
391
00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:03,615
No, come back!
Keep spendin'!
392
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,086
My lady
dream is slippin'
393
00:10:05,156 --> 00:10:06,817
through my
womanly man-fingers.
394
00:10:06,891 --> 00:10:08,153
Dream slipping away...
395
00:10:08,225 --> 00:10:09,317
future child dying.
396
00:10:09,392 --> 00:10:10,689
Don't just
stand there!
397
00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:11,589
Do somethin'!
398
00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,457
I have
pre-foresworn
399
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:14,894
to bounce
these ghosts.
400
00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:16,397
How do you
make something flee?
401
00:10:16,464 --> 00:10:18,295
Everyone flees
when they are scared.
402
00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:19,298
What scares people?
403
00:10:19,366 --> 00:10:21,197
Everyone around here
is scared of ghosts.
404
00:10:21,268 --> 00:10:22,496
I'll make the
ghosts think this
405
00:10:22,568 --> 00:10:23,398
place is haunted.
406
00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:25,165
But how do you
dress up like a ghost?
407
00:10:25,239 --> 00:10:26,263
Why are you
asking me?
408
00:10:26,339 --> 00:10:27,465
Some help
you are, lady.
409
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:28,939
If you want to
dress up like a
410
00:10:29,008 --> 00:10:30,441
ghost, you need
to throw a piece
411
00:10:30,510 --> 00:10:31,670
of fabric over
your head.
412
00:10:31,743 --> 00:10:33,176
Where can you
get your hands on
413
00:10:33,245 --> 00:10:34,803
some fabric quick?
414
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,644
The fabric of
time gone by.
415
00:10:37,714 --> 00:10:39,341
Boo-hoo, ghosts!
416
00:10:39,415 --> 00:10:41,042
I'm scaring you!
417
00:10:41,117 --> 00:10:42,106
Get oot!
418
00:10:42,185 --> 00:10:44,312
There's a ghoost
in the hoose!
419
00:10:44,386 --> 00:10:46,513
Get oot of
the hoose!
420
00:10:46,588 --> 00:10:47,919
Oooost!
Ooooooost!
421
00:10:47,989 --> 00:10:48,819
Fire!
422
00:10:48,891 --> 00:10:50,153
Honey, get out
of the house!
423
00:10:50,224 --> 00:10:51,748
Get out! Get out
of the house!
424
00:10:51,826 --> 00:10:53,088
These flames
aren't real.
425
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,491
Everything is
just in my mind.
426
00:10:54,561 --> 00:10:56,324
I scared
the ghosts away.
427
00:10:56,396 --> 00:10:57,658
I got the chumps
on the run.
428
00:10:57,730 --> 00:10:59,493
Oh, look!
It's the cuddlecrumbs!
429
00:10:59,565 --> 00:11:01,032
The cuddlecrumbs
are here?
430
00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,432
I don't remember
any of this happening.
431
00:11:03,502 --> 00:11:04,833
Huh?
432
00:11:04,903 --> 00:11:06,063
Huh?
433
00:11:06,137 --> 00:11:07,069
Doth...
434
00:11:07,138 --> 00:11:08,070
have...
435
00:11:08,139 --> 00:11:09,037
life.
436
00:11:09,106 --> 00:11:11,131
Grandpapapapa,
are you done
437
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,039
reminiscing yet?
438
00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:15,044
[Rasping]
And that is the
439
00:11:15,111 --> 00:11:19,741
legend of our Messiah.
440
00:11:19,791 --> 00:11:24,341
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